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On 4/16/2021 at 6:09 PM, WinnieWinkle said:

Reading one or two threads here, and being the silent witness to a huge disagreement on FB today I am beginning to think I am the only person my age (60) who was raised by parents who didn't really punish their kids . The worst that happened to us was being sent to our rooms to "think about what you did".  I raised my kids the same way.  Did anyone else grow up in a family like mine?  Based on what I read I get the impression most people my age were spanked as young kids and constantly being "grounded" when they got older.

Nope, I'm your age and I would say my family was similar.I remember getting two extremely formal spankings as a child.  I mean the kind where my parents sternly warned me that because of what I had done, I was, in three days time, going to be spanked.  Brilliant psychology on their part.

I wasn't just sent to my room to "think" about what I had done, but to have a long heart to heart with Jesus and his Mom and my Guardian Angel and my Name Saint about the whole thing.

Both of my parents had grown up in households where they were randomly and casually smacked in anger by their parents and other adults in charge and determined to not raise their kids the same way.

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Did your parents send out invites and Save the Dates?

We, the parents of Ratgirlagogo, regretfully announce the upcoming spanking of Ratgirlagogo in three days hence.  Formal attire is optional and gifts will not be accepted.

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15 hours ago, ratgirlagogo said:

I remember getting two extremely formal spankings as a child.  I mean the kind where my parents sternly warned me that because of what I had done, I was, in three days time, going to be spanked.  Brilliant psychology on their part.

I don't want to criticize someone's parenting but, well, wow.  I have absolutely never heard of anyone doing that  before.

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16 hours ago, ratgirlagogo said:

Nope, I'm your age and I would say my family was similar.I remember getting two extremely formal spankings as a child.  I mean the kind where my parents sternly warned me that because of what I had done, I was, in three days time, going to be spanked.  Brilliant psychology on their part.

I bet the writer responsible for 'Slap Bet' on HIMYM had parents like yours.

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My mom had a rule, my siblings and I might get a "pop on the butt" when we were in diapers (cloth with rubber pants over them - I'm old). Without the diaper for protection, it was a "hit" not a "pop" - and she also felt once a kid was out of diapers you didn't need to "pop" - you could use words.

I remember one day when I was being particularly bratty, mom told me to go to my room. I snotted "So what? That's where my toys and comic books are!" Mom said "I know and I don't care. I just need you away from me right now." Ouch. That's like a parent saying "I'm not mad, I'm just disappointed." It was probably 55 years ago, and it still sticks with me!

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I don't have many distinct memories of us—my two younger sisters and me—getting hit/spanked, but I know we did. My mom used a wooden paint stirrer that she kept on top of the refrigerator. She had a mint-green plastic stirrer with holes in it that she kept in the car. She would reach around with it and smack at us while driving if we were acting up. I have a distinct memory of her carving holes into a wooden paint stirrer with the tip of a pocket knife, but she says that didn't happen. I don't remember ever seeing the wooden stirrer with holes in it afterward.

My sisters were playing with the fridge wooden stirrer at one point and broke it in two. They glued it back together with white "school glue", and the next time one of them got spanked, it fell apart. That's a funny story now.

I know this all sounds horrifying, but it was just "normal" for the late 1970s/early 1980s. There were still school spankings when I was in elementary school, if not also middle school, and my mom told me that if I ever got spanked at school, I was getting another spanking when I got home. I never did.

I stayed home by myself after school from first grade on (age six) and watched my sisters (three and four years younger than me) from third grade on (age eight). It's completely insane that my mother (well, my deadbeat father, really, who put my mother in an impossible position) did that to me/us, and that part of my upbringing really did a number on me.

Edited by bilgistic
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1 hour ago, Nordly Beaumont said:

That's like a parent saying "I'm not mad, I'm just disappointed." It was probably 55 years ago, and it still sticks with me!

Totally get it.  The worst thing that could happen for my sisters and I was to feel that we'd disappointed our parents.  My brother was made of sterner stuff.  Talk about things sticking with you - I still don't want to disappoint my parents!

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On 4/21/2021 at 11:42 AM, meep.meep said:

I buy Mission Carb Balance tortillas.  They're sold in grocery stores.   It's a flour, not a corn tortilla.  I use net carbs and they are 3-6 grams per tortilla depending on the size and flavor, but also have a lot of fiber.  And they taste like regular flour tortillas to me.

 

The Tumaro's wraps are really good.  I have tried most of them.  It would be nice if they could lower the sodium levels, but I have that same problem with Mission tortillas.  The sodium levels are higher than I would like them to be..

Edited by icemiser69

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21 hours ago, bilgistic said:

I don't have many distinct memories of us—my two younger sisters and me—getting hit/spanked, but I know we did. My mom used a wooden paint stirrer that she kept on top of the refrigerator. She had a mint-green plastic stirrer with holes in it that she kept in the car. She would reach around with it and smack at us while driving if we were acting up. I have a distinct memory of her carving holes into a wooden paint stirrer with the tip of a pocket knife, but she says that didn't happen. I don't remember ever seeing the wooden stirrer with holes in it afterward.

My sisters were playing with the fridge wooden stirrer at one point and broke it in two. They glued it back together with white "school glue", and the next time one of them got spanked, it fell apart. That's a funny story now.

I know this all sounds horrifying, but it was just "normal" for the late 1970s/early 1980s. There were still school spankings when I was in elementary school, if not also middle school, and my mom told me that if I ever got spanked at school, I was getting another spanking when I got home. I never did.

I stayed home by myself after school from first grade on (age six) and watched my sisters (three and four years younger than me) from third grade on (age eight). It's completely insane that my mother (well, my deadbeat father, really, who put my mother in an impossible position) did that to me/us, and that part of my upbringing really did a number on me.

I have very similar memories.  My mother's favorite tool of terror was the paddle from one of those paddle/ball on an elastic string toys.  We would play with them until the string broke (didn't take long), then it became hers.  For my dad, it was whatever was within reach when he became enraged about something utterly benign; hairbrush, his own belt, whatever.

I will always be convinced that my decision not to have children was influenced by these memories.  I did NOT want to continue the cycle.  Paddling/intentionally inflicting physical pain to me is an outlet to vent anger, nothing more.  Pain and fear are not teachers, they are vehicles for ill will, distrust, and well, pain and fear.  If you are trying to raise maladjusted humans, then by all means smack them around to "teach them a lesson".  Just don't be surprised by the results.

 

Edited by SuprSuprElevated
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Flyswatter on bare legs was a favourite in my house.   A belt on occasion.   If they really wanted to humiliate you, it was belt on bare ass while you stood with your pants down in the middle of the kitchen.  On occasion, a visitor would just open the back door and walk in while it was happening.   Did I mention this continued through at least middle school? 

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32 minutes ago, Quof said:

Flyswatter on bare legs was a favourite in my house.   A belt on occasion.   If they really wanted to humiliate you, it was belt on bare ass while you stood with your pants down in the middle of the kitchen.  On occasion, a visitor would just open the back door and walk in while it was happening.   Did I mention this continued through at least middle school? 

Gawd.  How is that we didn't unleash an Uzi in the school cafeteria?

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Canada. Can't get one's hands on an uzi. 

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Grew up in the 50's -60's was beaten regularly by caregivers, mother but not father. Belts, wooden spoons striped rose bush branches as a whip, kicked when down on the floor. It was terrifying. I think perhaps my mom grew up in these kind of conditions too so had no idea how to parent. Father was a raging alcoholic may have also been abused but took it out on himself. I am an introvert and very shy...no small wonder. I swore my children would never go through what I did and they didn't. Never laid a hand on either DS or DD, they did get their timeouts in their rooms when they misbehaved, but never spanked. DS is a Fire Battalion chief in a major CA city and DD is acting Police Chief in another major CA city. They each have 3 of the sweetest/smartest kids and I know they are loved and cherished and have no idea what a beating is like. I am proud to have broken that chain...

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My sister & I were not spanked. We'd get the "talking to" from our mom and she'd use her serious, disappointed voice. We'd feel like dirt. It worked on us every time.

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Yeah, my parents never spanked me or my sister, either. We just got sent to our room and lost privileges. Or they'd give us a glare/look that shut us up pretty fast and got us to stop whatever we were doing or saying. My dad was also a big, tall guy of about 6'1", so when he would glare at us, it was all the more intimidating. 

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Yikes I was a kid in the 60s and all this stuff about beating kids in various ways was definitely not normal for me!  I may have heard of kids getting spankings but what people are describing here is definitely not in my experience. So sorry for anyone who went through that. :(

 

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1 hour ago, SoMuchTV said:

Yikes I was a kid in the 60s and all this stuff about beating kids in various ways was definitely not normal for me!  I may have heard of kids getting spankings but what people are describing here is definitely not in my experience. So sorry for anyone who went through that. :(

 

Thank you, it was a horror I lived through and eventually overcame. Maybe it even made me a better person...

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12 minutes ago, Gramto6 said:

Thank you, it was a horror I lived through and eventually overcame. Maybe it even made me a better person...

Sounds like it did. Your children grew up to be successful and have sweet children of their own.  You definitely broke the chain!!

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35 minutes ago, annzeepark914 said:

Sounds like it did. Your children grew up to be successful and have sweet children of their own.  You definitely broke the chain!!

Thank you ,I went through hell but my kids never did, and their hearts are out to protect and serve with the love I instilled in them and their kids are a monument to that too.

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@Gramto6,

I know it's none of my biz and it's perfectly fine with me if you opt not to answer the following. However if you  do:   did your offspring ever have any dealings with your DNA Donors? And, if so, did you make sure you supervised said dealings?Regardless, congratulations on breaking that wretched circle. 

 

OK, on a completely unrelated note, the other day I went to a party with a cake that had a photograph of the honoree reproduced in the frosting. No, it wasn't a painting of the honoree done in frosting but an actual photograph flawlessly reproduced in the frosting that was completely edible! This is even more incredible to me than phones taking videos!  

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Allow me to bore you with my day while my wrists are still functioning. It took 2.5 hours to put together a garden cart this morning. Two of those hours were tightening bolts. The cotter pins broke my pliers.

My town sold compost bins and rain barrels at half price in March and today was pick up day. I'm working 12-5 today and thought I'd be able to pick them up in time to be home for work at noon, but it turns out pick up time was 1-3 only. Sure, if I'd read the original sale message, I would have known that, but, come on! Read directions? That's damned unAmerican.

Fortunately, someone covered for me and I was only gone for 30 minutes. Crisis averted.

But then, even though it is gorgeous outside and a Saturday, people insist on asking questions, and always at the same time. Like it's my job to answer reference questions or something. Oh, wait, it is. Bummer. It's quieted down now.

And now I'm eating raw cookie dough and waiting for more questions and wishing my neighbor would show up to tighten the 2 remaining bolts and bend the cotter pins as he said he would.

Happy weekend, everybody!

Edited by ABay
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4 hours ago, Blergh said:

@Gramto6,

I know it's none of my biz and it's perfectly fine with me if you opt not to answer the following. However if you  do:   did your offspring ever have any dealings with your DNA Donors? And, if so, did you make sure you supervised said dealings?Regardless, congratulations on breaking that wretched circle. 

No, my children never, ever had unsupervised contact with my parents, never! And frankly they didn't have much contact at all...my choice.

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23 hours ago, Gramto6 said:

Thank you, it was a horror I lived through and eventually overcame. Maybe it even made me a better person...

It's so wonderful to hear about your tremendous strength and resilience despite being beaten.  But please don't think the beating itself made you a better person because that suggests beating is acceptable, should even be encouraged.  It's a crime, an abomination.

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9 hours ago, Gramto6 said:

No, my children never, ever had unsupervised contact with my parents, never! And frankly they didn't have much contact at all...my choice.

That's quite a relief to hear!

 

It's so sad how many grown children of abusers will let them have unsupervised access to their own children for reasons ranging from  wanting 'free' babysitting to wanting to placate peanut gallery kin to wanting to believe the abusers have 'changed', etc. 

Alas, too often the abusers do the exact same kinds of abuses to their grandkids that they did to the parents- and if the grandkids ever discover that their own parents knew what the grandparents were capable of beforehand, the grandkids would have every right to hate their parents forever for having sacrificed them as 'test pilots.

Anyway, I hope your children know how lucky they are that you kept them at a distance from the abusers instead of doing the above. I also hope that there are more formerly abused children grow up to be like you instead of consistently making the worst possible decisions re their own offspring instead of vice versa. 

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On 4/24/2021 at 9:19 AM, Blergh said:

@Gramto6,

OK, on a completely unrelated note, the other day I went to a party with a cake that had a photograph of the honoree reproduced in the frosting. No, it wasn't a painting of the honoree done in frosting but an actual photograph flawlessly reproduced in the frosting that was completely edible! This is even more incredible to me than phones taking videos!  

I've had the misfortune of attending a party with one of these.  They are creepy beyond belief.

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On 4/25/2021 at 5:33 PM, Leeds said:

I've had the misfortune of attending a party with one of these.  They are creepy beyond belief.

Perhaps because the honoree herself is a very likable and somewhat bashful person who I could never have imagined wanting that to have had that done for herself(and the picture reproduced was a candid one from life), I didn't feel creeped out. However, maybe had the honoree been an annoying braggart who'd have felt entitled to cakes,etc. in their image, I'd have been creeped out and annoyed. 

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8 hours ago, Blergh said:

I've had the misfortune of attending a party with one of these.  They are creepy beyond belief.

I wonder what drives people to do that and then have their face eaten by the attendees. 

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I don't really understand the face on a cake thing but then I also don't understand the trend towards those incredibly elaborate cakes. I am guessing mostly the cakes made to look like a Model T Ford or Godzilla attacking Tokyo or whatever are for competitions and not something you'd do in a real bakery - but even so, there just seems like a lot of time, effort and artistry going into something that ultimately is going to be sliced and eaten!

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1 hour ago, supposebly said:

I wonder what drives people to do that and then have their face eaten by the attendees. 

But, in the case I recounted, this wasn't  the honoree's idea (and I had the feeling she was doing her best to be polite and gracious to the hosts by not openly freaking out or showing any discomfort but I didn't ask her POV away from the fete).  

However, that's a good question re folks who DO volunteer to have cakes frosted with their faces!

 

P.S. The quote you quoted was by Leeds- not me!

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33 minutes ago, Blergh said:

P.S. The quote you quoted was by Leeds- not me!

Sorry! I don't know how to change that!

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Not necessarily a pet comment, but lookee! As gearing up for my trip in a couple of months, I changed my avatar to my darling grand-nephew fur-baby Ralphie! Isn't he adorbs?

He knows I am his slave, and he's excited to have his hooman who never tires of giving him his belly rub!

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Where are my pliers?! 2 pairs have disappeared and it's driving me crazy that I can't find them.

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1 hour ago, ABay said:

Where are my pliers?! 2 pairs have disappeared and it's driving me crazy that I can't find them.

Not to worry - they are off, having got a room, and soon enough you will have three :)

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1 hour ago, ABay said:

Where are my pliers?! 2 pairs have disappeared and it's driving me crazy that I can't find them.

That drives me nuts, too.  I lost a pipe wrench years ago, and I'm still puzzled as to where the hell I could have left that thing that I can't find it.  I have a bad habit of letting the garage get disorganized, so me temporarily misplacing a tool is not uncommon.  But I've reorganized it many times since, so I know it's not out there.  It's not in the house anywhere, and it's not in the crawl space under the house or in the attic space.  In the yard somewhere, buried after all this time?  I left it outside and someone took it?  (In a way that seems the most likely, but I never used it on anything down near the sidewalk, so it seems odd that someone inclined to steal would've happened to see it up by the house at just the right time.)  It is so odd.  I thought for sure once I finally gave up on finding it and bought another one that size, it would turn up, but no luck.

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I find losing things during the pandemic is a lot easier to deal with; I'm hardly going anywhere (the office periodically, groceries once a week), so the chances I have taken the item from my home are slim, and I will eventually find it in my house. 

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I hope this gives hope to everyone who can’t find something - yesterday I found a wool dryer ball that was missing for more than 2 years. It was stuck in the arm of a rarely used winter coat. 

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5 minutes ago, MargeGunderson said:

I hope this gives hope to everyone who can’t find something - yesterday I found a wool dryer ball that was missing for more than 2 years. It was stuck in the arm of a rarely used winter coat. 

The closet purger in me has a message for you.  😁

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I find losing things during the pandemic is a lot easier to deal with

Having just said this - I got a new cat this week, cuz why not?  I will slowly expand her territory by opening up more rooms for her, so eventually only my bedroom will be off limits, but for now she's  pretty confined.   She will periodically disappear, and there are only so many places she could be, but I have had a couple of "OMG, she's not here.  Did she figure out how to get outside?" moments.   Then she will silently saunter by, and since I have been the only living/moving creature in my house for a long time, it will scare the Bejeezuz out of me. 

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1 hour ago, isalicat said:

Not to worry - they are off, having got a room, and soon enough you will have three :)

OMG, even pliers are having more fun than me.  Pliers!

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1 hour ago, SuprSuprElevated said:

The closet purger in me has a message for you.  😁

In my defense, I was in the process of cleaning out the closet when I found it! I gave it and several other coats to my house cleaner today; she takes them to her church to be given to new immigrants to the area.

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2 hours ago, MargeGunderson said:

In my defense, I was in the process of cleaning out the closet when I found it! I gave it and several other coats to my house cleaner today; she takes them to her church to be given to new immigrants to the area.

You are hereby absolved.

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5 hours ago, isalicat said:

Not to worry - they are off, having got a room, and soon enough you will have three :)

I have a half dozen pair of scissors having an orgy somewhere.

I've always wondered how its possible to lose that many of the same item and if they end up in the same place.

I especially love when I'm looking for something and have an actual memory of thinking about putting it somewhere that I won't lose it and can't remember where that was.

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5 minutes ago, ParadoxLost said:

I have a half dozen pair of scissors having an orgy somewhere.

I've always wondered how its possible to lose that many of the same item and if they end up in the same place.

I especially love when I'm looking for something and have an actual memory of thinking about putting it somewhere that I won't lose it and can't remember where that was.

Welcome to the over 70 crowd!! That and going into a room and having no memory of why you went there...or writing it down on a note and no idea where the note is... welcome to the crowd!!! 😀

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3 minutes ago, Gramto6 said:

Welcome to the over 70 crowd!! That and going into a room and having no memory of why you went there

Oh, boy - I'm only late 40s and I've been periodically doing the "what the hell did I come in here for?" routine for a while now.  Or heading for a room in order to do Task A, arriving and doing Task B, heading back out, and realizing, "Dammit!  The whole point was to do A."

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26 minutes ago, Bastet said:

Or heading for a room in order to do Task A, arriving and doing Task B, heading back out, and realizing, "Dammit!  The whole point was to do A."

Retracing my steps due to ^this disorder is the only reason I'm not 5 ft. wide.

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51 minutes ago, ParadoxLost said:

I especially love when I'm looking for something and have an actual memory of thinking about putting it somewhere that I won't lose it and can't remember where that was.

Oh I did this big time a few years ago. I found what I thought was a great hiding place for a super valuable piece of antique jewelry about 15 years ago - it was not a piece I would or could wear much but definitely wanted to hang on to it and we did not have a safe deposit box (we were out in the mountains...). Anyways then we went to move about 5 years ago and I could not remember where this hiding place was that I had chosen because of course it would be obvious (to me...no one else) where I had put it. I think I spent 3 days ripping the place apart before I found it (whew!). Not because I remembered though :(

 

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On 4/24/2021 at 12:19 PM, Blergh said:

OK, on a completely unrelated note, the other day I went to a party with a cake that had a photograph of the honoree reproduced in the frosting. No, it wasn't a painting of the honoree done in frosting but an actual photograph flawlessly reproduced in the frosting that was completely edible! This is even more incredible to me than phones taking videos!

First of all, that is weird.

Second, no one should ever mess with the amount of frosting on a cake.

Edited by Stats Queen
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