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The NY one is where the trouble was/is? brewing.

I've noticed a lot can be forgiven or damned depending on whether or not the person in question is well-liked.

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Having a job isn't the same thing as being a productive member of society.  I had a job for years in commercial real estate - I underwrote loans for millions to people who already had more money than the GNP of some countries. Not exactly improving the world around us - I made rich people richer.

 

But that job allowed me to financially take care of my family and gave me a great deal of flexibility when I was a single parent.  I was often on a conference call at 6 AM Pacific with East Coast folks, left the office by 4 PM to pick up kids but grinding out numbers on the work laptop after they went to bed.

 

Growing a new person inside of you is no easy task - there's some amazing things going on in your womb that can't be recreated in a lab.  If there ever is a time to put yourself first, it is now. 

 

We're all wired differently, but I think a lot of time we are acting the way a role or the world requires us to.  It isn't necessarily our authentic self.  I remember the first time I realized my Sr and Executive VPs were actually listening to me and asking for my input on something.  These were people who knew their shit - not just in our company but as leaders in the industry.  I felt that any minute someone was going to figure out that I was a kid playing a role and I was going to be in sooooo much trouble when they found out!

Edited by DeLurker
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The NY one is where the trouble was/is? brewing.

I've noticed a lot can be forgiven or damned depending on whether or not the person in question is well-liked.

Bingo! Poor Carole can't turn around without them saying she's too old to turn around like that.

Thanks everybody. I think a big part of it is being laid up. I can't imagine a time when I'll be back to what I used to do.

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I'm 59 years old, but I don't feel old at all.  I'm in better shape that I was 10 year ago, I lost 35 pounds and have been working out at home regularly.  (though I'm no athlete)

 

 I just spent all day on the phone today trying to sign up for health insurance and unemployment, very frustrating.  I wasn't able to fully finish up either of them.   My employer gave me the wrong "Employer Connecticut Registration Number" so I could't do it on line and had to wait in the phone for an hour.   We're still working on the health insurance forms.   

 

I'm actually looking forward to a little time off (don't tell Unemployment).  I haven't had more than one week off in more than 10 years, and haven't had more than two weeks off about 20 years.   

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I'm also enjoying not working. I've been working since I was 14 and lied about my age to work at McDonalds.

After the kids moved out and before my accident we decided to sell our house and bought a small cottage on a big property. I'm so happy now that we did that. We made a bit of profit on our house and were able to buy this place outright. I'm happy to not have to worry about a mortgage.

I just got a new bed this morning. I splurged and bought a pillow top mattress. This thing is sooo comfortable. My cat is terrified of it. She's hiding in the corner glaring at the bed and refuses to go anywhere near it.

Edited by Maharincess
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I just got a new bed this morning. I splurged and bought a pillow top mattress. This thing is sooo comfortable. My cat is terrified of it. She's hiding in the corner glaring at the bed and refuses to go anywhere near it.

 

Ha!  I got a Sleep Number mattress about five years ago (and now can't imagine ever having anything else), and of course the cats came in as I was setting it up to see what was going on.  The one who normally had a more typical "Something new - approach with caution" reaction to things hopped right up on top of it as the motor kicked in to fill up the air chambers, plopped down, and looked at me like, "My sleep number is 65, thank you."

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I love cats. I tried putting her favorite treats on the bed but she still won't come near it.

I don't "do" debt. I hate credit cards, only have one for emergencies so I saved a while for this bed. I debated saying screw it and getting something cheaper but I'm glad I waited. I have terrible insomnia so I'm hoping this helps. I sink right into it when I lie down. It's so comfy.

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I don't "do" debt.

 

With the exception of a mortgage (which I no longer have, yay), neither do I. 

 

I'm glad you waited for the mattress you want, and hope it helps with the insomnia.  I can't wait to hear how long it takes the cat to come around.

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I slept great! When I got into the bed I kept saying "oh my god this is so comfortable" out loud to an empty house.

This sounds so stupid and cliche but it seriously felt like I was sleeping on fluffy clouds. My hips didn't ache when I woke up. Best night of sleep I've had in a long time. I even stayed in bed watching TV for an hour after I woke up.

Bastet, I think Trixie my cat must have gotten cold sometime in the night, when I woke up she was in her usual spot, on my body pillow next to me on the bed. Now she won't get off the bed. I put her blanket (in my boring recovery, I've made blankets for every living thing I know) on the bed and she's sleeping in it right now.

I have a question for those of you who text. I prefer to text, I hate talking on the phone.

My question is, when you're having a text conversation with somebody and you are done texting and want to end the conversation do you say goodbye to the other person or do you just stop texting?

I treat a text conversation like a phone call. I would never just hang up the phone without saying goodbye. When I'm done texting and need to go, I'll text something like "gotta go make dinner now, talk to you later".

Everybody I know just stops texting when they're done. I'm sitting there like an idiot waiting for a response and they're done with the conversation.

Is that just how its done and I'm wrong? Do you guys say goodbye in a text or do you just stop texting?

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It sounds like the new mattress was a worthwhile investment - enjoy!

 

Re: Text conversations - Depends on whether there is an actual meaningful conversation going on.  If it is just chit chat (I'm notorious for texting "Who did this song?" or "Jeez, just heard Mexican Radio - first time in a decade") no sign off is usually given.  If it is a more involved conversation, than I do sign off with a "need to take care of something", "call me when convenient" or similar.

 

With close friends who I mostly chit chat with, if we need to end the texts we normally just do an ATB (all the best).

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You're right, I should have made the distinction. My daughter I have what I call open ended texts. We text each other all day. Just random stuff like you mentioned. We watch a lot of the same shows so we text about that or she'll text me when the kids do something cute (or naughty!).

I always delete my texts and calls at the end of the day and she and I will have at least 200 texts to each other. I love that we're so close.

I'm not talking about those kinds of texts.

I'm talking about having a specific conversation with somebody. You text somebody or they text you, you chat for a minute and they just disappear. I'll have asked a question or something and am waiting for a response and they're done without saying they're done with the conversation.

I guess that's just how it is but it kinda bugs me.

Edited because daugabd does not spell daughter.

Edited by Maharincess

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I never know what the heck to do if I've asked a question, and the person doesn't respond. I usually just wait because most things aren't urgent, but it nags at me. Did I make the mad? Are they just busy? Did they miss it? You never know until you know.

I can't stand when someone 3 min later texts "???" So, I never do that...except to my dad when it IS urgent because he's difficult and that's just the way we are together. No typical social rules apply.

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Now that I'm not working, I thought it might be a good idea to go food shopping during the middle of the week, instead of Sunday morning at 8:30, when I usually do it.   So yesterday I went out at 8:30 in the morning and although the grocery store had about the same number of people as it does on Sunday morning,  the roads were much more crowded (because duh-- rush hour).   I hadn't even thought about that.  When I went to work, it was at 7 am, and I didn't drive, I walked, so I didn't realize quite how crowded the roads would be.   I guess I could have waited until later in the day to do shopping, but I like to get it over with.   I think from now on I'll keep shopping Sunday morning.  I'm used to it, and it leaves the rest of the week free to work on business-related stuff (which I actually have been doing, trying to get a website set up to sell my husband's artwork). 

 

I actually only started texting recently, and I'm not very good at it, I have to use a stylus to make sure I hit the right keys.  The only one I text is my husband, and sometimes the texts don't go through, so we always to try to give some kind of answer if only "Okay," to make sure the other person read the text.   

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I like doing my grocery shopping at night. My Safeway is open 24 hours, we used to go around 10 at night or later.

I don't like crowds. There are so many rude people out there. I can leave my house in a great mood and come home hating the world. People seem to think they're the only ones in the store, leaving their baskets in the middle of the aisle while they talk on their cell phones and their kids run wild.

I'd rather go at night when there aren't many people in the stores.

ALenore, what kind of art work does your husband sell? I admire artistic people. I can't draw a stick figure.

Edited by Maharincess
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I make sure to go to the grocery store on weekdays when I can get away around 3:00 -- the parents with kids are pretty much gone, and the after work crowd is still hours away.  On the weekend, after work, or even at lunchtime -- all unpleasant experiences I do not care to repeat.  (And mornings are out, as I hate them.)

 

I can't draw a stick figure.

 

Same here. 

Edited by Bastet
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My husband does science fiction and fantasy artwork.   He makes a living mostly doing book covers, sometimes illustrated books. He has in the past done concept design for  a Disney move (Treasure Planet), and he's done some magazine covers and a few advertising jobs.   

 

I didn't use to like mornings, but since I had to get up for work at 5:45 in the morning for the past 15 years or so, my internal time clock has reset and now I find it hard to stay up late. When I do stay up late, my brain still wants to wake me up early.  So rather than fight it, I just try to go to bed at a reasonable hour so I can get enough sleep in before my brain wakes me up.  

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I've found my Central Market is emptiest early Saturday mornings. I love going then, but I often go early afternoons after getting other errands done beforehand. For other things, like soda, I go to Target. I've never found a pattern of when it's busy there.

I still stay up to 10:30-12:30am, but I wake up early. I'm just watching TV or online before bed. Some days I feel fatigued like yesterday when I found myself waking up past 11am. I was surprised. My cat wasn't pleased, but he behaved fairly well...then threw up three times after his breakfast :/

Edited by Betweenyouandme
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I've always been a night owl. I would have done great with a graveyard shift job.

I liked dog grooming and training because I could set my own hours, I never booked a client before noon. I've been known to do laundry or housework at 11 at night and before my accident I used to take my dog on long walks late at night.

The pain medication I'm taking now seems to have the opposite effect on me than it does others. They wire me up to the point that I can't sleep and I have so much energy I feel like I could paint the whole house.

Having that kind of energy when you can't really move too much kind of sucks. I spend most of my late nights playing games on my tablet now. Some of those damn games are addictive!

Betweenyouanme, that cracked me up. Cats definitely have a way of letting you know when they're pissed don't they?

Edited by Maharincess

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Now that I'm not working, I thought it might be a good idea to go food shopping during the middle of the week, instead of Sunday morning at 8:30, when I usually do it.    

Since you have more flexibility in your schedule, I'd suggest finding out what days certain deliveries are made so you get the freshest ingredients.  Bread delivery and produce matter most to me.

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And Bob Baffert has been here before. He had my one of my early favorite horses Silver Charm come up just short.  It would be fun for this horse to do it both because it's been such a long time and also for the trainer.

 

My only problem with American Pharaoh is that I didn't want to put any money on him winning the Derby because he was the favorite.  So I boxed up him with Frosted and Firing Line underneath Dortmond for my trifecta.  Got all the right horses. Just put them in the wrong order.

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I guess so. I used to date a lot but that was a while ago. Just been me and my dad for some time. It was nice. He was nice. He talked about he used to "adopt" a tiger at a big cat sanctuary. The sanctuary was small at the time, so he could go sit out by the tiger and interact with him at times. I thought that was cool. He's well traveled, too. We went somewhere I go often, so that helped me feel less nervous. Plus, he talk a good amount, and there were no awkward pauses. He's very traditional, which I like. More outgoing, though.

Yes, I'm pregnant, but I'm not married or attached.

Edited by Betweenyouandme
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Sure. I don't know. Either way, I did have a good time. He travels pretty constantly for work, and I don't have a great track record of staying with people for long. But, I enjoyed getting out tonight and talking to someone in person who was so positive about me being pregnant.

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WELL...guess who got asked out again to go for lunch and then see both Tomorrowland and Poltergeist today? This girl...woman....female...pregnant lady! ;) My kind of date. Right on.

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So, how was everyone's day?  I spent most of mine trying to tame my overgrown yard.  Assisting me were my three helpful felines, one of whom found a dead bird under a bush.  (Gee, thanks, cat)

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I like this thread! I'm currently at my in-laws' cabin out in the country, and we're getting ready to have a BBQ. Weather is nice, but cold - 10 degrees.

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My day was good. My 6 year old granddaughter is here spending the weekend with me. She chose coming to my house over going to the water park with her friend.

I love that we're so close. We've had such a good time. She's so funny, every time she opens her mouth I wonder "where does she come up with this stuff"?! She is my angel baby, I get so many hugs and "lovins" when she's here.

She's the best. I'm so lucky.

My "husband" has been on the road for over a week and is due home this evening. He'll only be home for a few days before he heads out again. He's got a job in New Orleans coming up in August. If my surgeries are done and I'm up to it, me and the dog are going with him. We used to go on the road with him a lot. My dog loves it!

I want to clarify why I put the word husband in quotation marks. We've been living together since 5/15/89 but aren't married. I only use the word husband for lack of a better word. We met in 89 and he moved in with me about ten days later and we've been inseparable ever since. He's been daddy to my kids since they were very young and he's grandpa to the grandkids.

Marriage just isn't important to us. A piece of paper isn't going to make us more committed to each other or love each other more.

We may get married some day and maybe we won't. We've already lasted longer than most marriages.

Edited by Maharincess
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As an atheist god and the bible don't play into our lives.

I never said the paper was meaningless. I just said that a piece of paper isn't going to make us love each other more or be more committed to each other.

The paper means something to a lot of people, just not to us. I've got nothing against marriage. Congratulations on 30 years. That's almost unheard of these days.

My daughter is married, my son has been living with his girl for a little over 8 years without being married. Both of my kids are in loving, happy committed relationships. I don't think my daughter's relationship is better because she's married.

Edited by Maharincess
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Maharincess, you're happy, and everything seems to be working, so good on you. Besides, doesn't common law marriage kick in after 7 years in most places?  We'll have been married 27 years in June, and we made that choice because it seemed to make things like buying a home together easier.  But over the years, we've talked about it; and if we had to do it all over again, we probably would just live together without benefit of matrimony.  For one thing, we'd piss off a whole lot more people by not getting married, and that's always fun.  But really, for us marriage doesn't provide any big benefits, so I totally get what you're saying. 

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I get you stewedsquash, I just didn't want anybody to think that I think it's meaningless.

I understand that it means something to so many people. I respect that. We get a lot of crap from people for not being married but it doesn't matter to us.

One of the people who lectures us about being married is on her third divorce.

We always say we might get married one of these days. It's only been 26 years. We don't want to rush into anything.

Stewed squash, I have to ask this, how did you choose that screen name? I think of stinky green baby food every time I see your name. There must be a good story behind the name.

I'm just nosy!

I hope I didn't offend you with my views on marriage. I know its more than just a piece of paper to a lot of people.

Edited by Maharincess

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I'm of the opinion of hoping people can do what's important to them. Whether it's legal marriage, a commitment ceremony, wearing rings, common law, private commitment/agreement/understanding/promises, or none of it or any combination. :)

I'm divorced. My husband left (disappeared) after 3 months. We were legally married, but I couldn't get our relationship or commitment to ever mean anything to him. I would get married again...to someone else! Yes, I'd love to get married.

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Divorced, but never wanted to get married anyway. My feelings were that I never wanted me nor my husband to stay because we were "married". I wanted to know I was staying, even when things were bad, because I wanted them to get better and not because of a legal/social/religious contract/concept.

But that was just my personal view - not one I would apply to anyone else.

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But that was just my personal view - not one I would apply to anyone else.

 

I think that's the key -- there is no one-size-fits-all answer to marriage and/or relationship situations. (Something I wish my in-laws would have realized a long, long time ago.)  

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Sure. I don't know. Either way, I did have a good time. He travels pretty constantly for work, and I don't have a great track record of staying with people for long. But, I enjoyed getting out tonight and talking to someone in person who was so positive about me being pregnant.

Late to the party on this, but it sounds like you had some nice dates these past few days!  Good for you!

 

There's no rhyme or reason why we click with one person and not another.  Sometimes the person who looks good on paper, is just not a good fit in real life.  And sometimes the person who looks terrible on paper turns out to be one of your favorite people in the whole world.

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I liked Tomorrowland, but it's geared for 8-12yr olds, so it's no wonder people are getting disappointed. There aren't many movies similar to it, imo, since it's not a cartoon or funny. The worst was Poltergeist. Nothing redeeming. Absolutely nothing.

But, despite all that, we had a great time. We watched both movies and had lunch and dinner together. And even after the second movie, I had a soda out with him while he had a couple beers. He made me very comfortable, and talking to him was great. He's much more social than I am. He says that's not a problem. Hmm...not in love or anything, of course, but I'm open to seeing him again if that works out. He's going out out of town next weekend.

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Haha, yes. We were together for over 10 hours.

Hopefully if things work out, he'll be happy to sometimes go out with friends without me. But, yes, he was very considerate. I just need to make sure he's not too pushy if we continue to go out. He says he's ready to have a family. But, I don't want to jump into something serious with a baby too quickly. (Not trying to be too forward thinking, but he did talk about those things, which sort of makes sense because I'm pregnant. I make it clear I'm not looking to go out just for fun times. It's a fine line).

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This crosses between (possible) peeve and family...I go into Facebook every few weeks through my Dad's account to see family pictures and whatnot.

This time I saw one of my SILs post from when she went to a concert this weekend with a friend. It was a picture of them tailgating in the parking lot "getting their drink on".

She's north of 50, has an 18 and 16 yo, violently opposed to aging/maturing...seems highly questionable to me but maybe I am just crotchety? Not overly fond of her anyway so maybe influenced by that.

Also saw some old photos of a boyfriend from way back when. He's friends with my brother. Almost all the photos have him without his shirt. I don't remember that happening too often IRL, but there's plenty of them from back in the day of him and his car(s) and/or friends. He was a cutie and looked good, but it strikes me as odd that he would 1) have and 2) post so many shirtless pictures.

Guess he was/us vainer than I thought.

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I'm a couple of months away from 50, I don't drink alcohol so the tailgating thing wouldn't be fun for me. As long as she takes care of her kids, I think it's ok if that's what she wants to do. Posting it and captioning it like that seems juvenile to me though.

I am going to a concert this August. The best part is I get handicapped parking now. No drinking and tailgating for me though. I just want to hear some music.

If they want to do another surgery they're waiting until after my concert.

Edit. I wouldn't recommend it to anybody but I'm glad I had my kids so young. Reading about your sister-in-law being my age and having teenagers at home makes me glad I did it young.

I like the life and the freedom I have now.

I know my way isn't the norm but it worked for me.

Edited by Maharincess

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I'm a couple of months away from 50, I don't drink alcohol so the tailgating thing wouldn't be fun for me. As long as she takes care of her kids, I think it's ok if that's what she wants to do. Posting it and captioning it like that seems juvenile to me though.

...

Edit. I wouldn't recommend it to anybody but I'm glad I had my kids so young. Reading about your sister-in-law being my age and having teenagers at home makes me glad I did it young.

Her parenting skills are substandard - that is probably my biggest rub with her.  And juvenile is exactly the word.

 

I became a first time Mom at 30 and had a second at 36.  Delaying starting a family was the right decision for me - I needed to do a lot of growing up.  If I had kids at a younger age, even in my mid 20s, I would have still been working out my own head to be a good parent.  I have one SIL that was probably 23 when she had her oldest - she was always a great parent (but more mature at 18 than I was at 30).   She's only 3 years older than I am, but watching her with her babies reinforced 1) what good parenting takes and 2) I had a long way to go to get there.  She's getting to be a grandmother early too (a 4 yo and a newborn) while my youngest is 14.

 

I'm glad your enjoying being a young grandma.  I'm not done being a mom yet and not rushing to be done either.

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I normally watch these races and this year was no exception, however, I noticed that at the Preakness, they didn't provide the winner with anything.  No flowers, no ribbon, nothing.  I know it had been raining, but it just seemed odd to me that they they didn't hand the winner or his rider anything.  I watched until the show went off and never saw a trophy, flower or wreath.  Does anyone know why? (Yes, I realize the owner got a fat check, but I"m referring to the horse and rider.)

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That's good.  I was able to find some old winners with the blanket, but no recent winners since 2010. Odd.  It's a nice thing to see. Too bad many tv viewers didn't see it and I haven't been able to find a clip or photo of it.

 

I did find this beautiful photo of American Pharaoh at the Kentucky Derby with the roses.

http://www.cbsnews.com/pictures/2015-kentucky-derby/

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Having kids when you're young isn't for everybody. My best friend and I had always talked about having our kids at the same time. I had mine so young that my daughter was her kid's babysitter.

I didn't plan on having mine so young, it's just how it worked out for me. Mine was the old story... Horrible childhood then grab on to the first person who can get you out of your dysfunctional house. The fact that the guy who helped me escape my home was a 30 year old abuser was lost on me at the time. But it all worked out in the end.

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But it all worked out in the end.

It's good to hear that - being able to get to the point in your life where you can look back on the bad and see how far you've come is encouraging.  I know that kind of progress takes a concerted effort and there are a lot of two steps forward, one step back days.  Probably a lot to do with why you and Kaylee found each other.

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General question to y'all:

 

How old is "too old"?

 

...to have an elaborate wedding ceremony.

 

...to go to an animated film without children in tow.

 

...to wear clothes you feel good in but would not be considered "age appropriate".

 

...to use rollerblades or a skateboard.

 

It's the battle of you're only as old as you feel vs. act your age...

 

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Any of these things would be entirely up to the individual.  Who cares what other people think?

 

Personally, I hate elaborate weddings at any age, but YMMV.  I wouldn't use rollerblades or anything similar because I'm a clumsy oaf and would probably fall down and break something -- but if you can handle it, go for it.  Animated films?  If it looks interesting to me,  I'll see it. (Preferably, without a lot of children around, because they're noisy critters.)  Clothing?  Actually, I'm not entirely sure what "age appropriate " is these days.  I have a Harry Potter t-shirt, not sure if that counts.

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General question to y'all:

 

How old is "too old"?

 

...to have an elaborate wedding ceremony.

 

...to go to an animated film without children in tow.

 

...to wear clothes you feel good in but would not be considered "age appropriate".

 

...to use rollerblades or a skateboard.

 

It's the battle of you're only as old as you feel vs. act your age...

1 - if that is what the couple wants, I don't think there is an age limit;

2 - you are never too old for this;

3 - if you feel you can pull off the look with confidence, go for it.   I would consider others though - will your outfit make them uncomfortable?  That doesn't need to be the decider, but something to consider.

4 - Rollerblades - any age; Skateboard - DeLurker age limit was 44 when I tried to catch myself from a fall and jammed my arm into my shoulder.  Ouch for me arm, double ouch for my ego.

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