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Season Three General Discussion


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(edited)

In that episode where they were going to go Wimmen Huntin' -- before they left camp, the eldest daughter sniffed Matt and told him that he STANK TO THE HIGH HEAVENS.  He looked at her in confusion.  After seeing that, alls I can think of is that HE STINKS TO HIGH HEAVEN!  He always wears that pleather jacket and looks dirty. He may be the cutest of them all, but he STINKS.  Ugh.  I am pretty sure the rest of them do also what with all the sweaty work we see them do and they seem to wear the same clothes…and I don't see Ami or the girls killing themselves doing much of anything, much less WASHING CLOTHES, which would be a huge job in the bush with the water being what it is (having to heat it and wash and rinse).  Also, what is up with Matt's 4th grade "man caves"?  He needs to get some NAILS, saw some logs, and MAKE A HOUSE.  Sheesh.  Get his brothers to help - then help them construct their own.  This show is so tedious in showing us that they are building building building…but we also see them foolin' around a lot of time, and they should really be Constructing at least 8 hours a day.  Most construction workers do that, and they have roofs over their heads.  One would think these dudes would have even more incentive to get it done.  They are annoying.

Edited by Eme
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More bullshit coming - but hysterical. That freak Noah and his cane, tries his hand at dating. I do wish a grizzly would eat one of them. That would be good TV.

More bullshit coming - but hysterical. That freak Noah and his cane, tries his hand at dating. I do wish a grizzly would eat one of them. That would be good TV.

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I don't get it  - real or fake somebody should be ticked off

 

Real:  If the stuff with Ami's family were real that means the State Trooper wasted his time coming to Hoonah then the local police wasted their time coming out to the "camp" and Ami's family filed a false report and lied or omitted since they made the police thing the stroke was recent and something Ami need to know about right away.  If I were the police I'd be pissed and if I were Ami I'd be thinking about harassment charges and a restraining order.

 

Fake:  If it's all fake then they got some guys to pretend to be troopers and police and they got the producer to be on camera (or someone to pretend to be the producer).  Pretty elaborate to create some false TV drama - why bother when everyone knows there are real court dates coming up (make Ami look sympathetic maybe).  But if that's it then I'd be mad if I were Ami's real family, making them look like crazy stalkers and liars.

 

Either scenario is pretty twisted.

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My take on the Ami's family thing, is that she hasn't talked to them since she was 17 when Papa Pilgrim er I mean Billy whisked her away to their paradise Alaska to start a new life as grifters. Ami's family was never able to contact her because they lived off the grid--and even if they did live in a house at one time, something tells me they never had a phone. So when Ami's family saw her on tv maybe they figured this was their chance to reach out since they now know where they are. For some reason, it rang true when Ami said they are accusing him of not letting her stay in touch. Billy seems super possessive. I mean he still chastises his grown sons.

Noah on a date is going to be amazing if only for the poetry he will undoubtedly quote and for his talking heads about courtship. I mean he such a prize. He lives in a tent and everything!

Who else wants to start a kickstarted to get Birdie's snaggle tooth fixed?!!!

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Who else wants to start a kickstarted to get Birdie's snaggle tooth fixed?!!!

There'd have to be several funds (or not since they're all getting some serious scratch for filming this pack o'lies)...Ami needs her dentures, too.

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(edited)

I started watching this a little when DC was running some marathons of it and it seemed fun and all, but after reading some of the articles which pretty much prove its mostly fake I'm done.  They make it like this family has been out in the bush forever, but they really just lived out there for a few years back in the 80s and were just going back to "recreate the experience" for a tv documentary a few years ago.  And they weren't even really in the bush the first season, just in a rural subdivision down the road from a grocery store and a pizza place.  Now it turns out that locals built their house for them on land that DC is leasing from a neighbor.  Wow, big-time survivalists here.  And yeah, they should use the DC money to buy everyone in that family a new set of choppers.  Every time I watched it I felt the pressing need to brush my teeth.  Sheesh.

Edited by Dobian
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(edited)

Okay, so I just watched tonight's episode, all the back and forth about Billy's latest crap boat and how this is the greatest thing since sliced bread if onlyonlyonly it wasn't $5000  and they'd have to go into debt but this could save the family, thank the good lord.

 

Am I the only one who was thinking that they could likely take the 5K out of pocket change after they get their checks from the production company, assuming the the great state of Alaska hasn't attached their salaries yet?

 

Also, does anyone know why Noah uses a cane? Does he actually have some in jury or is it an affectation?

Edited by Beden
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(edited)

IMO, in this episode he handled the cane like a fashion accessory.   he was walking "evenly".    in an earlier episode this season I saw him doing some manual labor without it.

 

we missed an important exchange, part of a first date if not already known:    what do you do with your time?

 

if they don't have $5k to buy the boat, they don't have $5k to fix some important things and fill the fuel tanks.    

 

boat seller:   "I need $5k to get something done.   kinda in a hurry."     

browntown:   "ok.   can I owe it to you?"

boat seller:   "great!"

?????????????? 

 

did I see that leather jacket down in the engine room?   yeah.   :)

 

motor no start?    check spark and fuel.

 

still seeing that the oldest is not building his own log cabin.     at this point, I am wondering if the real landowner only gave permission for one permanent structure.

 

with 30 years of commercial fishing experience, why don't they get a small fishing boat?        how far back in the isolated bush did you live if you spent three decades working as a commercial fisherman?   were the other commercial fishermen and the canneries and the wholesale buyers also scared of using cash-money?

 

 

need food.   got fish?    NO?    

why don't they go out in their skiff and small boat, and just go fishing?   

with that shallow water bay and the tides, I think a few simple fish traps would work.   but I don't know if that is legal in AK.

Edited by clod
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still seeing that the oldest is not building his own log cabin.     at this point, I am wondering if the real landowner only gave permission for one permanent structure.

Now Clod, be fair; he did build himself that cozy tire house, y'know. I recall thinking that I hoped he filled the empty tires with dirt or something to help weigh them down and add to the R factor...

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Can we play "marry, f@&k, kill " with this crew? Assuming I have permission to start: marry Bam, f@&k Matt, and as much as I want to punch Noah in the throat, I would have to kill daddy's boy Gabe

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"Can we play "marry, f@&k, kill " with this crew? Assuming I have permission to start: marry Bam, f@&k Matt, and as much as I want to punch Noah in the throat, I would have to kill daddy's boy Gabe"

I have to agree with you on this! Can we add institutionalize to that list? Because I would institutionalize Bear.

Couple of things from the most recent episode:

-Was that girl that Noah went on the date with for real? If so, then it appears he found his soul mate. The grandparents' faces when he said he wanted to take her to the swing set. And also, what was with the popped collar? Does he think he is Dracula?

-That bush hot tub looked disgusting. And why would you do that with your sister? And why was Birdie going in fully clothed in multiple layers? Like at least wear shorts and a t-shirt!

-Why do Bear and Noah think so highly of themselves? And also I'm not quite sure that Bear understand what the word "extreme" means. Climbing trees and digging in the dirt or catching fish with your hands does not seem extreme to me.

-Why do Ami and Billy get so up in arms when they separate the family? Two of their children are over 30.

-Do the Brown kids have any marketable skills besides hauling lumber and knocking things down? What do the boys plan to do for money when they finally get married and settle down? And why is Ami not trying to fix up Birdie?

Crazycathusband has now taken to yelling "MORE" when he leaves for work in the morning.

-

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Loving your entire post, Ms Crazycatchick!

 

Okay, we're all on the same page regarding Bam, though I think he'd have to shower first (they all would,seriously) and I think I'll simply take a pass on the entire rest of the family. And I wouldn't want to actually marry the lad--maybe a weekend with an exotic meal like pizza thrown in would be enough togetherness for me. He seems like he gets a bit cranky for my tastes.

 

Matt--too much of a flake. Bear--just no. No. Noah, too airy-fairy artsy-fartsy quasi-new-agey. And Gabe? I'd be too afraid of 'roid rage.

 

The girls? Ms Rain is obviously too young and the Bird is either really, really wanting kids (hence her still playing with finger puppertdolls at 20) or could use a bit more maturing.

 

 

-Do the Brown kids have any marketable skills besides hauling lumber and knocking things down? What do the boys plan to do for money when they finally get married and settle down?

Well, assuming that we're talking about when they're out of jail and paid off their fines, penalties and the interest from scamming Alaska, maybe they can live off whatever's left from their reality show paychecks.

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-That bush hot tub looked disgusting. And why would you do that with your sister? And why was Birdie going in fully clothed in multiple layers? Like at least wear shorts and a t-shirt

-

You were spot on about everything crazycatchick but this point gave me Duggar vibes. I even said out loud while watching "why all the layers?" Was she nervous about being slightly undressed in front of Matt or the cameras?

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Another game: would you rather?

Would you rather live in a tire house or have to deal with Ami's rotten tooth breath?

Would you rather go on a 15th century chivalrous date with gothic/Twilight Noah or bathe downstream from Bear?

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Their speech impediment.

The bird girls nasty teeth.

The mothers nasty teeth.

Bear so non extreme.

Noah the total goober.

Gabe the steroid monkey.

Bamm the future serial killer.

Matt the lovable loser.

Billy the professional bum/grifter/cult leader/ brainwasher.

Merry Easter Bunny Christmas the doomed future heroine addict.

It's all such bullshit, but it is entertaining!

I still hope a grizzly eats the dad!

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"Can we play "marry, f@&k, kill " with this crew? Assuming I have permission to start: marry Bam, f@&k Matt, and as much as I want to punch Noah in the throat, I would have to kill daddy's boy Gabe"

I have to agree with you on this! Can we add institutionalize to that list? Because I would institutionalize Bear.

Couple of things from the most recent episode:

-Was that girl that Noah went on the date with for real? If so, then it appears he found his soul mate. The grandparents' faces when he said he wanted to take her to the swing set. And also, what was with the popped collar? Does he think he is Dracula?

-That bush hot tub looked disgusting. And why would you do that with your sister? And why was Birdie going in fully clothed in multiple layers? Like at least wear shorts and a t-shirt!

-Why do Bear and Noah think so highly of themselves? And also I'm not quite sure that Bear understand what the word "extreme" means. Climbing trees and digging in the dirt or catching fish with your hands does not seem extreme to me.

-Why do Ami and Billy get so up in arms when they separate the family? Two of their children are over 30.

-Do the Brown kids have any marketable skills besides hauling lumber and knocking things down? What do the boys plan to do for money when they finally get married and settle down? And why is Ami not trying to fix up Birdie?

Crazycathusband has now taken to yelling "MORE" when he leaves for work in the morning.

-

Meanwhile. back on GetYourSelfOff Island, you can hear Billy Idol's Rebel Yell "More, More, More, More, Moreeee...time to get back to the lodge.

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(edited)

I would marry Noah. I have a weakness for Goth guys. Plus, he's one of the few with decent teeth. He seems sweet.

Fuck Matt. He's immature but has a decent face and body. He'd make a good one night stand.

Kill Gabe. For real. His accent grates and there's his whole facial situation. He looks like his face melted in the sun and got smooshed together. His facial hair. His mullet. Hell to the no.

Bam gives me alcoholic/woman beater vibes.

Edited by Joe Jitsu913
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Does anyone have any idea what the family does when they aren't filming? Okay, that's a two part question; what do they do when just hanging at the lodge between set ups and scenes while the show is in production and what/where do they do when the show isn't filming? Someone upthread said something about a sighting of two of the brothers in Southern California at some point but anyone have any ideas?

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"Bam gives me alcoholic/woman beater vibes."[/quote

I am torn on Bam. He is melancholy and morose and will definitely be the one to use the broken down chain saw on the family and then claim they were attacked by bears... But I wonder how he would be if someone actually listened to him? He is the Jan Brady of the bunch since Gabe, the true middle child has climbed so far up Billy's butt to garner a position as favorite

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(edited)

I think all the "boys"  are nuts, but Matt is at least fairly good looking. Most of them are dirty and have gross teeth, which totally turns me off.  You would think with all the money they have gotten from the show they would at least fix their teeth. I guess they are saving the money for attorney fees.

Edited by NEGirl
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(edited)

I just caught up on the last couple of shows(the new boat and Noah's date). I noticed that Billy slipped and called his wife Amey as did  someone else(I think a producer). Anyone else catch this?

 

Someone on the thread mentioned something about Matt and another brother in San Diego. I guess that will all come out as to where they live when the Court case comes up.

Edited by NEGirl
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The episode "Rocky Seas", when they are driving that POS boat back to their shack...at one point as the weather is picking up, dumb ass bear enters the wheel house and says "when that (the wind) hits the face, it's like freezing and awesome". Billy's next line, as the camera switches from bear to Billy's back as he is driving the boat, "Yeah, can you imagine being out here in the Lorkin...it'd be over". As he says, "it'd be over", the camera angle changes to a side view of billy and a view outside the port window of the wheel house. Flanking the Brown's boat, is a camera crew in a very small pontoon boat, like the ass clowns use for dredges in the show "Bering Sea Gold". The camera crew seems to be managing the "rocky seas" just fine.

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I've kind of hit the point of diminishing snark returns with this one too. It's just too fake. At least with the Kilchers, there's the sense that even if these people aren't doing this year-round they're pretty serious about what they do. This is just suspension of disbelief busting tomfoolery.

Have you ever checked into how much the two older Kilcher brothers are worth??? Right around 4 million, yes million, each. And they live about 20 minutes out of town, paved roads driveway to city, complete with a chain grocery store and chain hardware store. Not to hard making a life for yourself with all that land, money and access to stores. Fail

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(edited)

I'm seriously starting to agree that this mess has jumped the shark and the snark is now just so damn easy and obvious it's losing it's fun.

 

Those barrels were 600 pounds each? They were so clearly empty even my dog noticed. They didn't check the hoisting straps and were just crossing their fingers they'd hold the weight? Sure they did. They stored 2,400 pounds of oil on the roof of the main cabin? On a 70 year old boat they went into length saying how much work and renovation it needed? Yeah, uh-huh. Beyond stupid, insultingly beyond stupid.

 

I know, reality shows have nothing to so with reality but, c'mon. Meanwhile we're treated to yet another endless recitation of Billy going on and on about how this is make it or break it for the family, how this is incredibly dangerous and they could all die!!!! How the family will pull together to make it all come out all right, just like they always do because if they don't they could all die!!!. How that storm will test the boat and if it's not up to snuff they could all die!!!! How if the boat foundered they'd be in the water (never mind the camera crew following them at a distance of about 20 feet) and they could all die!!!! How they're taking a run through the most dangerous strait in the entire world and they could all die!!! While they continued to run the damn boat in the dark, in unfamiliar waters without a searchlight or radar to avoid logs or other crap in the water and they could all die!!!

 

Meanwhile we have the DaVinci of the bush using an old bicycle to jury-rig a generator to recharge batteries...am I the only one who had a flashback to an ancient Gilligan's Island when the professor did a similar thing so they could use the radio to send an SOS? And--what a lucky find!--a tossed TV in the junk yard they could use said genny for to watch a VHS tape they just happened to have (or did they also find that in the junk yard?). And the Mrs is thinking about how they've never ever been apart for more than ten minutes and she's so worried because, y'know,  they could all die!!!

 

Dumb and dumber. Every week, dumb and dumber. I'm starting to really hope their lame asses end up in jail, fined up the wazoo and their wages are attached from now to forever for propagating this lying lies. There are people out there who actually believe this shit? Well, 10% never get the memo, right?

they could all die

 

!!!

Edited by Beden
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I saw the same thing with the barrels. Scene after scene of those six hundred pound barrels being tossed around, rolled, moved and held in place by a single person. I guess physics works different down here in the lower 48.

Gravity fail.

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in a recent show, there was a brief shot of one of them putting the siding boards on an inside wall. it was only a second, but it sure looked like the brown stuff under there was fiberglass insulation facing. (not cardboard)

I looked for a clip so I could grab a screenshot, but didn't find it. maybe someone here can confirm what I think I saw.

fiberglass insulation often comes with a paper "facing". I think of it as "backing", but it's called "facing".

before I forget, how lucky was it that the building they tore down had so much siding that was in perfect condition? ;)

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if it's **really** dangerous to go racing through the water at night without lights...............take a break, pull over, and wait till daybreak. yeah?

how old was the rope on that pulley system? if the boat had not been "out" for ten years, it likely did not have new rope installed. I didn't get a good look at the pulleys, but the number of ropes holding weight can give an indication of how much force is needed to lift an object (a barrel).

some of those baby chicks she wants to keep close to her are in their 20s and 30s. squawk.

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My take on the Ami's family thing, is that she hasn't talked to them since she was 17 when Papa Pilgrim er I mean Billy whisked her away to their paradise Alaska to start a new life as grifters. Ami's family was never able to contact her because they lived off the grid--and even if they did live in a house at one time, something tells me they never had a phone. So when Ami's family saw her on tv maybe they figured this was their chance to reach out since they now know where they are. For some reason, it rang true when Ami said they are accusing him of not letting her stay in touch. Billy seems super possessive. I mean he still chastises his grown sons.

Noah on a date is going to be amazing if only for the poetry he will undoubtedly quote and for his talking heads about courtship. I mean he such a prize. He lives in a tent and everything!

Who else wants to start a kickstarted to get Birdie's snaggle tooth fixed?!!!

Laugh my ass off @ Papa Pilgrim, I was thinking the exact same thing!

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Is it a given that Bear is mentally challenged?

 

And Noah is reading a lot of 15th Century books on etiquette? Explains a lot....    

 

And Billy, this decade's Captain Nemo, seems to have a lot of ships sinking under him...

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Each time they got themselves in another dangerous situation the Mr and I would yell "they're all going to die".

An experienced fisherman didn't think to check out the part of the boat's hull that was sitting aove the waterline for dryrot? 

Thank goodness that young girl came to her senses and escaped to college instead of hooking up with a man-child with no education, no job, no marketable skills and no income. 

The rest of the boys are just idiots. 

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I can't believe they are still trying to tell us they are craftsmen.  When they were trying to fix the boat one of them was sawing wood with his off hand with fingers splayed near the saw.  I was hoping to see fingers fly.

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During this whole crapfest I kept wondering just how much the production company paid for that floating piece of rot and rust to use as a plot point. And--puhlese--if the damn boat sinks the whole family would be ruined? Ruined, I say! They're $5,000 in debt--never mind the serious $ they're taking in for filming this mess. Their dream could be over and then they may die! And delivering those '600 pound' barrels o'oil? Uh-huh. In a small skiff? Damn good thing those barrels were empty otherwise the skiff would be floating on the bottom from being overloaded with 1,200 pounds of freight and 3 grown men. Am I the only one who wondered how they got the barrels over the gunwales to get them on the beach? That horrible blizzard and high winds they were fighting? They could have all died! The water looked like a millpond...I've spent my whole life on, in and running boats of various sizes on large bodies of water and those wavelets lapping quietly on their rotted hull presented no danger--none, I say!

 

However, I seriously love Cap'n Bob (or whatever the real freight hauler's name was--loved that guy while he tried to keep a straight face) inspecting the Integrity and pointing out every dumbass thing about it--the rust, the rot, the lack of deck space, the lack of a real hoist and on and on. My god--they could all die!

 

And poor Noah, his soulmate opted out rather than risk her life--she could have died!--by settling down in a tent, outhouse just down the path, skinning deer and losing crabpots. Now, mind you, I've nothing at all against a rugged lifestyle but I'm guessing Chrissie? Christy? decided that she wasn't being paid enough to play out this farce any longer so skedaddled away.

 

I swear, this just keeps getting better and better.

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Ahhhhhhhhhh Beden my friend I'm back and laughing of course! Yours is the "only intellect to match my own." Yeah you're right.....I love all my forum friends & their intellect!!! And though, our "discussions," aren't in any way up to Noah's levels of intelligence, we're really entertaining. And, remember, as long as we're honest we leave a little piece of our "ah soul" (pronounced with NOAH DARK CLOUD wang) for each other, and our predecessors. >looky I made a big word!

And, I'm glad to know daddy Billy is still riding high and hard on the backs of his oxen brood. I know it's fakety fake.....but it's kinda entertaining to see how many shmucks are actually...STILL....buying into this! (Via other blogs, discussions, and other web sights)! WHAT THE CRAP! Makes me wonder why, when I bust my butt everyday.....and live my life, you know, "the norm." Work, pay taxes, hoping some jackhole at H&R Block, doesn't miss some tax payment, that'll later cost me tons of $$$ in interest and my AKA registered Bassett Hounds. BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! While these asses have been bending the system, riding the free boat, and being professional bums & con-artists, as long as I've been in the world. Where do you get the energy? I've pondered and thought on that one, TIL my brain hurts.

Now on to more important things.....hearts in jars.....just when I think WTF....(and think, this is really the ultimate WTF, cause they CANNOT top this WTF).....BAMMMMMMM, it's a topper WTF! Hearts..........in jars.........W..T..F?!? And for a "renaissance, 2 yr courtier, ya think he may be taking it just a smidge hard for a couple of weeks worth of dating? I could understand a fingernail in a jar.....or, since we're talking animal parts, hoof in a jar.....but a heart?

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Ridgey my friend!

 

Also loved the look on Ami's face when she saw that the rot on the side of the boat ran for feet and went all the way through.

 

And Jar o'hearts...only a sensitive soul could conceive of such tender remembrances. Let's all just hope none of our residents of Browntown die!

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Love that the girl dumped Noah. If I read a poem to my dad, he would have hit me with a frying pan. They're all r*******! There metal boat is rated for 850 pounds. I hope the new boat sinks with Billy on it! How about what's left of the old hag's teeth - the 3 uppers on the right side close down on gum, as do the 3 lower on the left side. How does she chew?

Guess she scales everything with her two rotten front teeth.

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(edited)

Am I the only one amused that the name of the new boat is 'Integrity'?

 

Also caught a short preview for next week's show--touted as the season finale, which leaves me both sad ans speechless. However (I'll struggle bravely on) it seems that the family returns fro someplace, spot a bear on shore (the highest bear density in the world, remember?) and are seriously worried and concerned about how many bears may be around, in Browntown and --oh no!-- maybe they're on the front deck because if the bears have invaded they could all die and this could be the end of their dreams!!!! (Until next season, anyway).

 

I can hardly wait.

Edited by Beden
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