S05.E18: Confessions Of A Housewife

[SwordQueen]

First and most importantly, THANK YOU, KYLE.  I needed to shout that. You brought the house porn -- and it was good.

 

Go Lisa Fucking Vanderpump!  I appreciate that she's not behaving in an angry manner, even though she is angry.  Loved her shutting Brandi down like that and walking away.  Lisa being ordained endeared her to me a little more, and the ceremony was sweet.  Also, I love the way she drinks her tea. 

 

Yo looked hot at that dinner.  I want to hang out with The Lisas, Eileen and Yo so they can tell me stories.

 

However, Yo’s  stock has tanked, for me because she's enabling and it seems like she thinks that she can (gently) change Brandi, and that doesn't work.  I don’t really have anything left for Brand, except snark, because she said it all (for me) when Yo told her (all too nicely) that her actions (slapping Lisa) were unacceptable and Brandi replied “But that was last night”.  Welcome to Groundhogs Day a.k.a Brandi’s Brain, where the previous day’s actions don’t count and as long as you say you’re sorry, all must be forgiven and forgotten.

 

I’m scared yet fascinated by Brandi’s face.  It never moves.  She was crying and no movement, none.

 

Adrienne, lol.   Kim forgot to mention that she threatened Lisa, made fun of her sister and verbally attacked Eileen. OMG are we really back to the house bullshit?!  I can't take any more of that, I really can't.  She's just mad because she can't afford a house so awesome.  Way to be supportive of your sister's successes, Kim.  Isn't that what you want Kyle to be, for you?  Supportive?  Stop taking and learn how to give. 

[VanillaBeanne]

"At least we now know that Kim is still mad at Kyle about their mother's house. Each of them have a different POV of how it went down. We'll never know exactly how it played out so I have no opinion on who is right or who is wrong but I'll bet that each of them are twisting the truth in their favor."

 

I am inclined to believe Kyle over Kim because Kim keeps on repeatedly lying. She did so in that scene at least once.

[cooksdelight]

Kathy could have been helping Mom out financially over the years, and that may have been taken into consideration when the papers were drawn up for the buyout. What no one mentions is that lawyers were involved in the process....they had to be.

[hypnotoad]

 

1] Kim implied Kyle paid sister Kathy more than she paid Kim. 

2] Kyle said that Kim was in no position to share in a mortgage at that time.

I don't know if it's true or not but it sounds like Kim got the short end of that stick.

 

Maybe Kathy was a better negotiator for her 3rd of the house and perhaps not as desperate for money as Kim?

 

I don't know anything about this storyline besides the flashbacks we saw, but it seems to me Kim was made an offer, she accepted it and cashed the check. Plus, I don't think I would take Kim's word on anything about the amount of money Kathy got. Her memory seems ... spotty at best.

[CaughtOnTape]

Why isn't Kathy partly to blame for what went down with the house then?  She had to have known what was happening.  I don't believe for a second with her husband's background in real estate she didn't know every detail of that deal.  She didn't seem to think Kim got the short end of the stick or that she needed to protect Kim in any way from Kyle taking advantage of her.

 

Kim is a moron.

[QuinnM]

So now that Kim is sober will she hear the stuff she says?

No Kim what you told Adrienne is not what happened. It's a much more Kim friendly version. And Kyle didn't tell you she was selling the house? Wow, even your own daughter must have lied to you about that since she was the ne that sold it. Kim is in such denial about so many things it's hard to believe she is truthful about her sobriety.

I do feel she will be very hurt when she sees Brandi talking about an intervene. But then it's Kim so maybe she'll remember it in Kim's world. You know the world where she gets to sign a bill of sale, accept a check and then change her mind. And when you change your mind it means someone is stealing from you.

She needs to be off tv. She needs to just work on herself.

[The Mighty Peanut]

Was not impressed with Lisa R's "situation" monologue. HEY LISA, DO YOU THINK KIM IS HIDING ONGOING ADDICTION ISSUES? Make like Elsa and let it go already.

Edited March 18, 2015 by The Mighty Peanut

[panthergirl13]

Brandi's waterworks during her 24K gold facial? Woof. She should NEVER be filmed at that angle. Her red, waxen face reminded me of Lady Elaine from Mister Rogers Neighborhood.

OMG, this.

[Straycat80]

Brandi and the younger guy didn't bother me that much, what bothered me was that scuzzy dead bear vest she wore over her dress. Ugh! Her overly botoxed face was scary. Her upper lip looked very bloated. And she's the one who always refers to the other women as old. If she keeps up all the Botox and fillers she's going to look older than the other women.

Loved Kyle's house! Hated another cry talking conversation between the sisters. They fight about the same old subjects all the time. Over it.

[Easyspreestep]

At least we now know that Kim is still mad at Kyle about their mother's house. Each of them have a different POV of how it went down. We'll never know exactly how it played out so I have no opinion on who is right or who is wrong but I'll bet that each of them are twisting the truth in their favor.

There were two things I noticed during their argument about mommy's house.

1] Kim implied Kyle paid sister Kathy more than she paid Kim.

2] Kyle said that Kim was in no position to share in a mortgage at that time.

I don't know if it's true or not but it sounds like Kim got the short end of that stick.

With all due respect Kyle stated that she had copies of the canceled checks she gave to both sisters. After she said that Kim changed the topic, to me that proves Kyle's point. If Kim really thought she got the short end she would have said yes bring out the checks or added something tangeble as proof of stolen house.

Edited March 18, 2015 by Easyspreestep

[BlackMamba]

Quote: "At least we now know that Kim is still mad at Kyle about their mother's house. Each of them have a different POV of how it went down. We'll never know exactly how it played out so I have no opinion on who is right or who is wrong but I'll bet that each of them are twisting the truth in their favor."

I am inclined to believe Kyle over Kim because Kim keeps on repeatedly lying. She did so in that scene at least once.

 

I can never believe a damn word of what Kim says drugs or not, she's batshit crazy and delusional.  Kim's face when Kyle said, "You asked me to give the listing to Brooke, your daughter."  Something to that effect.  Then Kim tried to make it seem like Kyle was on some dirty stuff "Talk about your own shit."  What shit Kim??  Tell us because we know about you!  You had 4 kids, no income coming in, and a drunk.  

[BucFan]

I don't understand Brandy she certainly has the means to leave at the drop of a hat and see about her Dad. I'm sure Eddie would have kept the kids. Why is she on my TV crying about how bad it is, but not rushing to be by his side?

I guess a free facial and camera time was more important to that fake cow.

[hypnotoad]

 

Was not impressed with Lisa R's "situation" monologue. HEY LISA, DO YOU THINK KIM IS HIDING ONGOING ADDICTION ISSUES? Make like Elsa and let it go already.

 

She was asked a question by the producers or whoever. She answered it. Perhaps its time for Bravo to let it go?

 

I really enjoyed that final dinner with the ladies - just everyone having fun. And I liked the wedding ceremony at Pump, it was sweet.

 

 

If she keeps up all the Botox and fillers she's going to look older than the other women.

 

Going to? Listen, that boat has sailed. She already looks older than Eileen!

Edited March 18, 2015 by hypnotoad

[QuinnM]

Kyle offered to show Kim the checks and Kim backed down. So way back in very back of Kim's brain, she knows Kathy did not get more for the house. I really think that the whole 'you stole my house' thing is really mean. But I think Kim is a mean person drunk or sober.

Kim you sold your share of a house. It isn't and never was your house. It was our house.

The fact that Kathy also sold out at the same time makes Kyle the most believable in this situation. Kathy always has Kim's back so she would never let Kyle cheat her.

[zoeysmom]

At least we now know that Kim is still mad at Kyle about their mother's house.  Each of them have a different POV of how it went down.  We'll never know exactly how it played out so I have no opinion on who is right or who is wrong but I'll bet that each of them are twisting the truth in their favor.

 

There were two things I noticed during their argument about mommy's house.

 

1] Kim implied Kyle paid sister Kathy more than she paid Kim.  

2] Kyle said that Kim was in no position to share in a mortgage at that time.

 

I don't know if it's true or not but it sounds like Kim got the short end of that stick.

Kim was paid the same as Kathy and later tried to buy her way back in with $20,000.00-far less than she was paid.  Kyle and Mauricio had remodeled and taken out a mortgage. Kim was offended because Mauricio said she was in no position to take on a mortgage payment.  This is way back in 2002-3.  What Kim failed to mention is she and her children had use of the house whenever they wanted and Kyle and Mauricio paid all the expenses.. 

 

The devil is in the  details-how nice was it of Uncle Mauricio and Aunt Kyle to give Brooke a shared listing despite the fact she works for a competing agency?  That is like free money to Brooke.   If Brooke had the listing Kim had every opportunity to buy the house-I just don't think she could either afford it or wanted it all that bad.  I think she expected to be given the house. It does make for a great pity party. 

[Lakewood27]

I don't understand Brandy she certainly has the means to leave at the drop of a hat and see about her Dad. I'm sure Eddie would have kept the kids. Why is she on my TV crying about how bad it is, but not rushing to be by his side?

IKR?!

Brandi: "Waaaaaaah, my dad is sick! This is soooooooo bad! Waaaaaah!"

Yo: "Do you still want your 24K gold facial?"

Brandi: (Suddenly less teary) "Yes."

Edited March 18, 2015 by Lakewood27

[erikdepressant]

It was nice to see a toast from Yolanda that didn't involve praising the King.  Coulda been edited out though.

[Kathcart]

For the love of God, Kim and Kyle, would you please please please please please stop beating the dead horse known as You Stole My House. Jeeeeekers I cannot believe Kim dragged that up again. Aaaaargh. It used to be funny but it's not even funny anymore.

[WireWrap]

Adrienne giving good advice....never thought I'd type that. Doesn't mean she always follows her own advice, but I think she was being sincere to Kim.

 

I wonder what advice Adrienne would have given her had Kim told the truth, not her warped version but the truth? LOL

 

Ugh, that was such a bait and switch! I thought "you're lying!" was going to be about Brandi, not their mother's Palm Springs home.

 

Also, when Kyle said she was going to take Kim out to the desert, I thought that meant she was planning to bury her out there (cue Eileen: Yay!) and was sorely disappointed.

IMO, it is interesting that Kyle drove herself to PS but Kim had a limo! I suspect that Kim getting a limo is due to production doubting her "sobriety" and protecting themselves from a possible lawsuit!

[Satchels of gold]

Seconding or thirding the love for the Palm Springs house. Damn! That's gorgeous. And is it evil that I really wanted Kyle and Kim to hash out every frigging detail on the prior house "stealing?" That has never made any sense to me and I feel like we were thiiiiiiis close.

Brandi. Jeebus. First, I hope her dad is ok. But, how can she really not see a difference between why people are mad at her and forgive others. When she keeps doing the same crap over and over again. When her apologies are always qualified - even with the Lisa V slap she launches into, but we were just playing blahblah whatever.

We are both evil then because I wated the same thing. I want to know about the God damn house! Several theories have been offered and none of them make sense. I still don't get it.

[njbchlover]

Kyle and Mauricio's new home is beautiful, that is all!

 

I was drooling over my TV....I am soooo "jelly"!!  I want to be invited - I promise, I won't yell, scream, croaky-voice cry - I'll even do the dishes!!  

[SwordQueen]

IKR?!

Brandi: "Waaaaaaah, my dad is sick! This is soooooooo bad! Waaaaaah!"

Yo: "Do you still want your 24K gold facial?"

Brandi: (Suddenly less teary) "Yes."

 

Yes!  lol  I wondered if I was the only one who saw that.  She perked right up at the suggestion of a facial. 

 

I wonder how estheticians work on the pores when they are all clogged with, well, whatever the shit is that she uses on her face.  She looked like she'd covered her face with shellac, it was so smooth and shiny. 

[BlackMamba]

First and most importantly, THANK YOU, KYLE.  I needed to shout that. You brought the house porn -- and it was good.

 

Wasn't it on point!  I'm sure Brandi was at home watching like

 

[thesupremediva1]

Moment of the season: "She's your asshole now." Thanks, LisaV. That was spectacular.

The Lemon Queen did not look happy to now have full ownership of the Vacant Parasite. But, as Lisa says, Yo babies her and dances around her shitty behavior, which in VP's brain means she condones it.

Kyle's desert home is stunning. Unfortunately, Kim is still clinging to her righteous indignation and the real estate crap.

She owes Kyle a very big apology about a very immediate issue, and yet quickly deflects and starts going on about Kyle stealing from her. Masterful deflection - even I became confused and couldn't focus on the topic at hand. She must have learned that move from her bff, the Vacant Parasite.

Sure hope LisaR asks Andy to replay her lunch with VP at the reunion, in case Kim hasn't watched and LisaR is just too traumatized to out VP to Kim's face, for obvious and reasonable fear of retribution from the toxic twosome. She inserted herself yet again by telling Kyle that VP suggested an intervention. Get out your surfboard Rinna cuz you know you just made waves.

Can I please get some footage of Eileen on one of her sets? I mean that's a dream, but anything is better than VP's facial.

Edited March 18, 2015 by thesupremediva1

[njbchlover]

At least we now know that Kim is still mad at Kyle about their mother's house.  Each of them have a different POV of how it went down.  We'll never know exactly how it played out so I have no opinion on who is right or who is wrong but I'll bet that each of them are twisting the truth in their favor.

 

There were two things I noticed during their argument about mommy's house.

 

1] Kim implied Kyle paid sister Kathy more than she paid Kim.  

2] Kyle said that Kim was in no position to share in a mortgage at that time.

 

I don't know if it's true or not but it sounds like Kim got the short end of that stick.

 

To me, that meant that Kim was probably in a "bad" place (drinking, or whatever), and was not responsible enough to handle paying her share of a mortgage.  I would have serious problems with co-signing on a mortgage with someone who has/had addiction and responsibility issues, too.

[Trooper York]

I think it was really cool that Brandi is dating one of the Children of the Corn.

I love crossovers.

[SwordQueen]

That house made this episode worth it.   Despite Brandi's face and that poor deceased animal she was wearing like a vest, Kim's red skin and her green envy, and Adrienne, it was all worth it.  

 

We better get to see it again in S6, or Andy will be hearing from me. 

[SFoster21]

Why was Yolanda wearing an IV at the spa? Anybody know?

[mbaywife123]

Loved the last dinner in Amsterdam, can I have more of this please.

Kyle & Kim, enough already. Just stay away from each other and be cordial at family gatherings for the rest of your familys sanity.

Yolanda, stop trying with dumb dumb. She just doesn't get it and probably never will.

LisaV, still love her and would be honored to be a guest at her beautiful home. (One can dream!)

LisaR and Eileen kind of got drowned out this episode. Too bad as I generally like both of them.

What was up with Adriens nostril on one side?

[AnnA]

[Trooper York]

She was wearing an IV because they ran out of paper cups for the lemonade.

[BogoGog24]

Does anyone else think the only reason Dutch Boy went out with Brandi was to get his 15 minutes? Otherwise I can't see the appeal.

Add me to the list of those who love Kyle's desert home. It looks pristine while still having a warm and homey feel, not a palace like some of the wives live in.

[zoeysmom]

Great one AnnA!!!! And so true.

[GreatKazu]

For the record, Brandi and I are both 42. I started menopause this year (yes it sucks). Maybe she should STFU.

I am in menopause myself and I LOVE IT!! I love it because I don't have to worry about wearing tampons anymore. I don't have to worry about painful cramps, leakage, not being able to wear white pants or dresses. I am carefree!! No, not the company that sells tampons and kotex. I am free of all that shit that plagued me since I was friggin 12 years old. Brandi, STFU. I use those words because that is all you seem to understand. Go ahead, walk around in a dress while showing your pancake ass and tampon string that sticks out of that rejuvenated twat. You have nothing going on between your ears and your legs. You are a nobody.

[crgirl412]

 

Why was Yolanda wearing an IV at the spa? Anybody know?

I'm sure it was a vitamin or some "healthy" solution to help her with her Lyme's.  I am a nurse and it made me nervous to see her with it since I wonder about the medical license of the facility.   

[jnymph]

Did I really hear Kyle saying something in her gorgeous house was too "electronical?"

Edited March 18, 2015 by jnymph

[BlackMamba]

To me, that meant that Kim was probably in a "bad" place (drinking, or whatever), and was not responsible enough to handle paying her share of a mortgage.  I would have serious problems with co-signing on a mortgage with someone who has/had addiction and responsibility issues, too.

 

Hell she probably couldn't even afford the mortgage and/or the taxes neither on the property.  Im of the the mindset Kim probably was already missing renting and Kathy/Kyle just was like screw it because they didn't want the house and Kim wasn't going to be staying there bombed out her mind.  I don't blame them not wanting that home anymore.

[zoeysmom]

We are both evil then because I wated the same thing. I want to know about the God damn house! Several theories have been offered and none of them make sense. I still don't get it.

I will try and find the extended version.  Kathy did not want the house and Kim could not afford to buy out Kyle and Kathy so she decided to cash out.  Sometime later she wanted back in and offered $20,000.00 even though what she was paid was much greater.

Kim has never offered an evidence to support her position and with a daughter, a niece and two BILs in real estate  it is really time Kim stop besmirching Mauricio's reputation. 

 

This whole house thing explains a lot the new home of Kyle's was purchased right at the beginning of filming.  I don't think Kim can distinguish Kyle being there for her from Kim being jealous of the house.  Obviously Kim was very bitter about sitting in her sister's new vacation home.

[Rhetorica]

Did I miss it? What was the confession and by whom?

[TomGirl]

That picture of Lisa R. makes her look like a living cadaver.

[SFoster21]

Kim sure got happy fast once she reduced Kyle to tears. Toxic doesn't cover it. What her kids must have experienced with her! Can't even imagine.

[Trooper York]

I think the Dutch Boy lost a bet to Max so he had to bang Brandi.

Actually it was between Brandi or Kristen so maybe he lucked out.

Edited March 18, 2015 by Trooper York

[blueeyed]

Why isn't Kathy partly to blame for what went down with the house then?  She had to have known what was happening.  I don't believe for a second with her husband's background in real estate she didn't know every detail of that deal.  She didn't seem to think Kim got the short end of the stick or that she needed to protect Kim in any way from Kyle taking advantage of her.

 

Kim is a moron.

I think it's easy for Kim to hold Kyle responsible because Kyle retained ownership of the house. Kim takes responsibility for nothing. I have no doubt in my mind that Kathy made sure she got her one-third FMV for the house, her husband was a realtor. Not sure why lawyers would need to be involved.

[hottesthw]

I am inclined to believe Kyle over Kim because Kim keeps on repeatedly lying. She did so in that scene at least once.

Considering Kim can't remember what day it is while "sober" I'm not willing to bet her recollection of what went down years ago when she wasn't "sober" is accurate. Get over it Kim, you drank and sniffed your house profits away long ago.

[car54]

When they first brought up "the house" I got the impression that over time Kyle and Mauricio might have helped Kim out when she was having issues--and I wonder if she owed them money, so they considered that part of her share of the house--so she got less cash plus whatever she owed them.

At any rate, it just reinforces, don't do business with family, they'll never let you forget it.

[SwordQueen]

Go ahead, walk around in a dress while showing your pancake ass and tampon string that sticks out of that rejuvenated twat.

 

Add in the STDs and we all know way too much about this snatch's snatch, don't we.  lol  

 

Did I miss it? What was the confession and by whom?

 

I was wondering the same thing. 

[missy jo]

Re: Brandi's "apology" to Lisa V - I don't like apologies; they're pretty much worthless to me. You know what proves you're genuinely sorry for something? You don't do it again! Remorse is shown through actions, not words. Brandi offends over and over again, and a tossed-off "But I said sorry!" just ain't gonna cut it anymore.

[Trooper York]

It was pretty funny when Kim said that her fight with Kyle would affect Kyle's children.

Right genius. If they never see Auntie Kim again then maybe they won't be lunch for Kingsley!

[BlackMamba]

Did I really hear Kyle saying something in her gorgeous house was too "electronical?"

 

She mentioned it just now.  Clearly she had a Teresa Giudice-slip (eg ingrediences, LMFAO)

Edited March 18, 2015 by BlackMamba

[LotusFlower]

Considering Kim can't remember what day it is while "sober" I'm not willing to bet her recollection of what went down years ago when she wasn't "sober" is accurate. Get over it Kim, you drank and sniffed your house profits away long ago.

Plus, tonight she asked "is it forgive and forget....wait, am I supposed to forgive? Or forget?"

Oh, Kim, never change. And even though Kyle isn't the brightest, I'm so glad she cornered Kim on the house lie by reminding her that Brooke had the listing, so the house was indeed for sale. That shut Kim up quick. She is such a nasty piece of work.