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S04.E15: Enter The Dragon


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Like many of you, I also thought this episode was very boring, except for the Rumple!Hook scenes. And Colin looked amazing in the dagger scene when he was all wet and his eyes looked super blue.

Judging from the promo for next week they're finding ample opportunity to get Hook wet this half season. I do not object....and I'll be down at the shallow end of the pool if you need me :)

Edited by OnceUponAJen
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Another thing,  I read this book where one of the characters was dealing with a Fae and was working on a deal/contract that closed all loop holes and made sure there was no way the Fae could find a way to circumvent the agreement and do dastardly deeds to them, their progeny, their ancestors, or random people they meet.

 

I think Belle should check that book out of the library.  I think that book should be taught in schools in any town Rumpelstiltskin has ever visited.

 

I wish Belle weren't so dumb.

Edited by ParadoxLost
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So, they keep referring to Maleficent as a sorceress or a witch, so she's not a fairy.  She was powerful enough to turn into a dragon "half a lifetime ago", which is apparently before 20somethng Aurora was born.  And from what we've seen of Regina and Emma, magic takes time to learn--even if you are particularly gifted--so the dragoning is probably not something she managed at 15.

 

How old is Maleficent supposed to be? 

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I'm a fan of wet Hook, but this show just bored me to sleep. I was dozing off. Please don't do that to me show. I have given up time to watch you for entertainment. I don't need to see Regina doing whatever she was doing. I don't need to see initiation and loyalty tests with the QoD. I don't need to see flashbacks of burning bushes and random crap.

 

That's my problem with this one.  It was so boring.  Its kind of baffling that an episode that an episode that is supposed to be Evil Queen, Rumpelstiltskin, Cruella De Vil, and Ursala bouncing off each other could actually be this flat and dull; but it was.

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I'm really wondering how they're going to resolve the August/Pinocchio story. When the blue fairy turned August into a boy, it was because he was turning to wood and there was no other choice. But now, he seems fine. So, who says August would ever consent to being turned back into Pinocchio?

 

But if they leave him August when all of this is said and done, they've killed Pinocchio, who is a completely different person from August.  

 

If they force August to be turned back, they effectively kill August.

 

And if August dies/is killed, they kill both.

 

Both Regina and Emma are somewhat culpable for whatever happens. And who does Geppeto support? Getting back the child he's been raising for the past 2 years, or supporting August, who is also his son?

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I wish Belle weren't so dumb.

 

I don't wanna say that she is dumb even though she might be a little bit dumb.  I think the word is trusting.  In a short time, she trusts Hook and even calls him Killian and when he says Will took something from him, she doesn't question what it is because Will and Hook's history is in its infancy stages.  Will nearly ruined Hook's first date with Emma, punched him with his crazy hand and Will tried to get revenge and failed miserably at it.  There is no history between them to speak of.

 

After 6 weeks, she already trusts Hook, so they clearly made headways in terms of some sort of friendship where she's not even questioning him.  But like Emma, her gut is telling her something is wrong and she got completely manipulated out of thinking that, just like Emma last week.

 

So if Emma is to feel betrayed by her parents, then it's a double-down for Belle.  Not only did Rumple have her release the Chernabog, but he also so utterly fucked with her head by impersonating her friend.

 

I don't know why anyone would want to see Belle and Rumple reunited.  After this, she should pretty much hate him.

 

And again Rumple...Hook did not steal Milah from you and Will took nothing from you.  Neither men took your women from you.  You treated those women like shit.  One fled you and the other one banished you.  And they are not a fucking television, you asshole that some thief walked in and took.  You wanna talk about stolen stuff?  Your shop is filled with PROPERTY that does NOT belong to you!  

 

Milah and Belle?  Not property.  They are people who made a CHOICE to not be with you because you're a fucking coward egomaniac, crazy fuck.  That's why.  You took Hook's hand, what are you going to do to Will?  Lop off his head?  Stab him with your toy dagger?

 

Jerk!

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Mystery solved!  Maleficent is Carmen Sandiego!  I hope they go to Reykavik!

 

So  Imposter Hook/Rumple has gotten to second base with Belle?  But Hook and Emma just get lunch at Granny's?

 

Emma fretting over Regina is completely out of character.  Especially if the QOD are just drinking in the vault all night.

 

I did like that depressed Mal had 90's crimped hair...

 

I'm guessing that Hook was babysitting Henry and Neal this episode?

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Mystery solved!  Maleficent is Carmen Sandiego!  I hope they go to Reykavik!

 

So  Imposter Hook/Rumple has gotten to second base with Belle?  But Hook and Emma just get lunch at Granny's?

 

Emma fretting over Regina is completely out of character.  Especially if the QOD are just drinking in the vault all night.

 

I did like that depressed Mal had 90's crimped hair...

 

I'm guessing that Hook was babysitting Henry and Neal this episode?

Ha! Carmen Sandiego. Well considering Maleficent's clothes and crimped hair and all, it was defintely OUAT: '80s Flashback Edition.

 

And seriously, what is going on with Rumple/Belle and Emma/Hook? Belle didn't seem to think it weird that the pirate oath involved groping her. And at this point, I don't want Emma to hook up with Hook considering he's not Hook. It would just be a Graham/Regina redux and just...blech.

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I missed the first 15 minutes or so, but have to agree that what I saw was pretty flat. I mean, I enjoyed Maleficent's super drag queen-y look in the flashbacks (and holy hell she and Regina had chemistry, I thought they were going to start making out multiple times), but I don't really buy Young Regina as Motivational Life Coach, and I didn't think the flashbacks really illustrated much about their relationship past that they were kind of friends. Which we knew already from S1. Wasted opportunity to get into Briar Rose/Stefan/Aurora/Maleficent backstory, which would've made far more sense, and be somewhat more fresh.

 

Still can't get behind the Author storyline, show. It's DUMB. No amount of doubling down on it will make it any less DUMB.

 

No way would Emma consent to a child's kidnapping, let alone a child she knows. No. Way. Also, Emma didn't see coming that Regina was going to ditch her phone? Come ON, show. The levels of stupidity to which you force your characters to sink is just offensive.

 

it was PAINFULLY obvious that "Hook" was a shapeshifted Rumpel, Cruella, or Ursula. Within ten seconds of "Hook" talking to Belle in the diner the friend I watched with and I called it. I really want to like Belle but they just insist on making her perpetually so.damn.dumb.

 

Not excited for August being back. He didn't really click with the cast in the first season and the show has moved on from him. I hope his stay will be very temporary.

Edited by stealinghome
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And seriously, what is going on with Rumple/Belle and Emma/Hook? Belle didn't seem to think it weird that the pirate oath involved groping her. And at this point, I don't want Emma to hook up with Hook considering he's not Hook. It would just be a Graham/Regina redux and just...blech.

Well, in the Pirate Oath, they swore to never talk about what happened again, so I'm hoping, hoping, hoping that Rumple's done with impersonating Hook.

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The flashback was sooooooooo boring. As were the QoD/Regina scenes. What was the point of all the drunken property damage? And how does Mal know about aspirin?? The only redeeming feature in this episode was Colin acting as Rumple acting as Hook. Dang---he was haaawt. Belle has more chemistry with Hook than anyone else.

 

Rumple is a creepy stalker who still objectifies his wives. So, after feeling up Belle's boobs and making that Unbreakable vow to never mention the Dagger, Rumple waves it around Regina? He's got to know Regina is trying to play them. Please let Rumbelle never ever get back together!

 

Poor Pinocchio looked freaked out when he saw Regina. Emma being okay with the kidnapping was OOC. She did agree to Regina taking the Lost Boy's heart in Neverland. But Henry's life was in danger, and the Lost Boys were all dangerous. Letting an innocent child get kidnapped just to keep Regina's cover was over the line. I hope Geppetto takes out a restraining order against Regina after this. But wait, the Sheriff's department is full of Regina ass-kissers. 

 

And I agree--Emma's concern for Regina was over the top. Also, her bailbondsperson skills are a joke. 

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This episode was boring and slow. Midway through I just wanted it to hurry up and get to the climax already. I am however glad we're getting into the more grittier, complex plots that aren't as straight forward as 4A. I'm actually questioning how this is all going to turn out a lot more than I have before. It feels more like Once with the darker tones and more focus on the core characters. (Even if there's a gold mine of useless cameos...)

 

We're already getting into the middle-arc-drag, it seems.

Edited by KingOfHearts
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Oy, what a dud of an episode overall.  Not one I need to watch over again.  I didn't care one freaking iota about anything at all in the flashbacks.  Totally boring.  It was kinda funny to see a wasted/drugged up Mal tho.  Got her own version of grandpa's cough medicine, lol.

 

Why the heck everyone wasted so much energy freaking over Regina was beyond me.  It's not like she's some powerless waif.  Though I was genuinely creeped out that they kidnapped Pinocchio.  Bad form, girl.  Poor kid doesn't deserve that at all.  The rest of the stuff with the QOD was just dumb.  I mean, out all night playing chicken with a train, torching cop cars, and drinking ourselves silly?  Is this seriously back to high school?! *headdesk*

 

All the awards to Colin for his creepy as HELL turn at Rumple-being-Hook again.   Freaks me the heck out.  Those vacant, predatory stares he kept giving her at the end...shudder.  Damn, I miss bad boy Hook now.  And Rumple can step on a million legos, then die a slow, painful death for all he's done to Belle.  There's no way in heaven or earth that he "loved" her at all if he can treat her like this.  And Belle?  GROW A FREAKING BRAIN, HONEY.

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Well, in the Pirate Oath, they swore to never talk about what happened again, so I'm hoping, hoping, hoping that Rumple's done with impersonating Hook.

Yeah--I took the whole Pirate's Oath thing to be an indication that Rumpel wasn't going to be impersonating Hook any further. A signal to the viewers more than anything else.

 

I agree that at this point, everyone on the show should have identity-verifying passwords. But then the writers would have to THINK for a second instead of making everyone, including the villains, dumb, so....

 

We're already getting into the middle-arc-drag, it seems.

Third episode in has GOT to be a new record. :(

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I think I would have enjoyed this episode more if the flashbacks were just focused on Maleficent.  Show us why she went after Briar Rose in the first place.  Was it because she was snubbed at the christening like in the Disney movie or was there something else going on?  I get that she went after Aurora because TLK broke the Sleeping Curse she cast on her mother, but I want to see why she was that kingdom's Big Bad in the first place.  Don't show us yet more evidence of Regina's delusions.  Also, if Regina had all this time to spend with various characters (Tink, Maleficent, Rumpel) how are we to buy that Leopold didn't notice?  Are we supposed to assume that a memory spell was cast upon him whenever she came back?  Once again, this show makes no sense.

 

ETA: 

 

everyone on the show should have identity-verifying passwords

 

They should be like the Order of the Phoenix who begin all encounters with questions or short monologues that include information that no one/few people would know.

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What happened to this show? In the past I've put up with the skewed morality and total lack of emotional payoff but this episode is guilty of an even greater crime: it bored me. I was excited for Maleficent's return and they've managed to suck all the excitement right out of it. 

 

I thought the sleeping curse had to be taken willingly? Is the apple sleeping curse different from the spindle sleeping curse? Even Henry and Charming ate/were pricked knowing it would result in a sleeping curse. 

 

I like Maleficent's flashback hair and prefer it to the horns. 

 

I feel bad for Pinocchio but I don't mind if August's suffers a little. 

 

ETA: 

 

Also, if Regina had all this time to spend with various characters (Tink, Maleficent, Rumpel) how are we to buy that Leopold didn't notice?

And it doesn't seem very smart of Regina to out herself as a magic user to a fellow royal. The kingdoms are close enough that Regina the expert horsewoman planned on walking home, but she wasn't worried Stefan would hop over for a visit and tell Leo that his wife was hanging out with Maleficent? 

Edited by InsertWordHere
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I don't know why anyone would want to see Belle and Rumple reunited. After this, she should pretty much hate him.

I can't imagine the show putting those two back together after all of this. Belle kicking Rumple across the town line should have been his wake up call, but he still hasn't learned his lesson and chooses power over Belle. He's now tricked her twice after that line incident. I don't care about whatever is going on between Belle and Will (although I would have much preferred to see more of their date instead of the stupid Regina/Queens of Darkness villain pranks), but she deserves way better.

 

And when did Rumple begin to impersonate Hook? I thought the way Colin was acting before the scene where he interrupted the date was still in character, so my initial impression was that Rumple-as-Hook was only for that date scene and the scene in the rain with the dagger. But now I'm second guessing whether or not he was being impersonated the whole time. I thought it was strange that Hook didn't say a single word in that secret library meeting when Emma came up with her stupid plan to tag along; usually, he isn't afraid to butt in and say "Um, what now? No Emma, don't put yourself in danger needlessly. Why don't we do this other plan instead." So that scene could have been Rumple pretending to be Hook, but he didn't want to blow the cover so he didn't say anything. It also would have been a good way to get inside intel from the "heroes" about what their plan was and how much they knew about Team Queens of Darkness. That would also mean Rumple asking Regina at the end in the cabin if she had "gone soft" was more of a taunt than an actual question, because he clearly knows what side she's actually on. How ironic it would be if during the heroes' library conversation about Regina going under cover that Rumple was literally doing just that and not being noticed two feet from them?

 

I think I would have enjoyed this episode more if the flashbacks were just focused on Maleficent. Show us why she went after Briar Rose in the first place.

Yes. Thank you. I feel like we didn't learn anything new or interesting at all. I felt like I was watching a Regina flashback with a sprinkle of Maleficent when it should have been the other way around. How many flashbacks have we gotten of young Regina in this series now? Was it really necessary to show the audience this specific piece of her past? If anything, it just makes me root less for her to get a happy ending because we keep getting reminded of how misplaced her anger towards Snow was.

Edited by Curio
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I honestly think the show lagged because it was more of a Regina flashback than an actual Maleficent back story.  Going in, I was expecting to find out why Maleficent hated Aurora's family so much and Aurora's mother.  I was expecting them to flesh her out more.  A&E said that Maleficent was not a fairy.  So what is she?  She clearly has been alive for a very long time, that much was hinted at.  I was expecting something with her and Stefan, but he just seemed to hate her.  Maybe she was a dalliance, but they didn't explain that either or what it is that she lost that turned her into a depressed mess, so much so that Regina had to shrink her.

 

How in the world did she get pregnant?  Immaculate conception?  Because that's pretty much what I'm going with right now or Ursula's tentacles.  Just please don't let it be from the egg David fed her.

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more focus on the core characters.

 

If they were focused on any more, they may end up just shy of old school lobotomy stereotypes! Except for R &R Villainy Factory, of course.

 

*Snow White and David both were made to be stupidly hover-y about Regina and the "undercover" "mission" Regina was undertaking for Snow. Snow and David fought a freaking war; I think they are more understanding of undercover than the episode's writer(s) had them act.

 

*Emma, who was introduced in the pilot as good enough at bounty hunting to make a living at the job ( and from her Boston apartment, it was a very good living), was all "I'm going to follow you regardless of how that action might very well blow your just earned cover and place us both in danger." To four people who have no reason to be nice to either of the women. Also, all four have magic that they don't hesitate to use (unless it's too much for the budget or the writer(s) forget) against enemies.  Also, as others have stated, Emma being okay with a child's kidnapping is so OOC that the Queens probably would look at Emma and go "You're a hero?"

 

*Regina can't take a doll that Gepetto has carved and animate it like Pinocchio? Or make a doppelganger of some sort? That she is so worried about being seen with Snow and David that she can't poof them all to some place the Queens may not think to watch? Regina can't cast a scrying spell on the orb that Mal has on her necklace? Or the shades all the queens love to sport?

 

That's just this episode. No one is coming out of this looking good. It is almost as bad as I feared. Strangely enough, Regina may be a full hero in the show's eyes because she is not looking to smart in the present and she's still pretty Woegina in the past.

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I think I would have enjoyed this episode more if the flashbacks were just focused on Maleficent. Show us why she went after Briar Rose in the first place.

 

We were so cheated out of a Sleeping Beauty flashback. There was a buzz about what King Stefan's role would be, then we see two scenes with absolutely no characterization whatsoever. We didn't even learn what Maleficent's beef was with Briar Rose. Please tell me there's another flashback episode of this coming, because this random episode taking place during Regina's lessons with Rumple (which we've already done a million times!) doesn't cut it. Even if it was about Regina, we still didn't learn anything. It's sad.

 

Such wasted opportunities this episode. It was boring, and I'm disappointed. Maybe they should have had the Queens kidnap Pinnochio offscreen then have the August reveal in the middle of the episode. We didn't need to spend the whole first act watching random "bad girl" tests. They should have done more of a fleshed out Sleeping Beauty story in the flashbacks and just spent the majority of the episode on that.

 

This felt like Unforgiven in that they held off way too much and gave little substance, like they were desperate to fill in time before their big twist at the end. If this is all setup, I'd sure like to know when the execution is. I'm starting to feel the pain the CS shippers had in 4A... boy am I setting myself up for disappointment.

Edited by KingOfHearts
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The way Regina is supposed to prove her villainy is by acting like a drunk teenager and destroying property?

That was my thought exactly.  Clearly drunken property damage isn't good but it certainly isn't up to the level of Regina's murderous past so I'm not sure why the "Queens of Super Duper Darkness" were using it to prove her commitment to a life of crime.  I guess that flask they had her drink was just alcohol?  At first I thought it was going to be some potion that was going to force her to do something horrible.  Ooh, maybe it will cause her to keep some library books past their due date!

 

Colin's acting as Rumple was really good.

This was probably the best part of an otherwise annoying episode.  I was still annoyed by Belle and everything else but seeing Colin get to do Rumpel-as-Hook was interesting.  I thought he did a darn good job.

 

Still nobody has noticed Rumpel parading himself openly around town!  "Do you think Rumpel's already back in town?" Belle has to ask when anybody with half a brain and at least one working eye should have had plenty of opportunity to see the guy cavorting about town yet nobody has!

 

I really liked Mal's crimped in-a-funk hair.  Too bad she has to cover it with those horns courtesy of Disney.

 

I know nothing about bounty hunting/police/private detective work, but I think Emma might be doing it wrong.  It looked really clunky to me, just my very humble opinion.

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And when did Rumple begin to impersonate Hook? I thought the way Colin was acting before the scene where he interrupted the date was still in character, so my initial impression was that Rumple-as-Hook was only for that date scene and the scene in the rain with the dagger. But now I'm second guessing whether or not he was being impersonated the whole time. 

I feel like it started at Granny's when he crashed the Belle/Will date.  I also thought at first it was just protective bigbro!Killian, but my radar started going off when he suggested she go get the dagger -from its current well hidden location, known only to Belle and no one else- and bring it to him.  So he could what?  Doubly, extra hide it in a better spot?  Uh, ok.  Frankly, Killian's too smart to suggest something like that, and I was hoping Belle would have been smart enough to bring it up as well. I feel like Killian would want to make sure it was hidden and stress to Belle to keep the location to herself.  The fewer people who know, the better.  Including himself.  And let's not even go into the squicky "pirate pledge" or whatever the heck that was at the end.  Belle's alarms should have been going off big time.  You know Killian would want to keep Emma and Snowing in the loop with something important like that.  So swearing secrecy seemed glaringly ooc, imo.

 

Still shuddering over Coin's creepy acting, lol.  When he slowly turned his head to look at Belle when she commanded the Dark One to face her - freaky.  I was half expecting his head to turn all the way around, ala the Exorcist.  

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Yeah, I didn't love this episode. I'd do my usual "like/dislike" list, except the only things I really liked were Rumple-as-Hook, the return of August, and Goth Mal (and only at first; that fairyback went soooo loooong).

 

I'm trying to be tolerant of this "Emma and Regina are friends" crap, but... I can buy them working together to fight enemies and I guess even improve their lives, but I don't buy Emma having a massive freak-out that super-powerful Regina might be in danger. It's also boring.

 

On the upside, next week's episode looks good.

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Hmmmm, so, that was kinda boring. The only part that intrigued me was how Rumple posed as Hook... didnt see that one coming!

The Queens of darkness could also stand for queens of dull. Cruella often comes up with the odd funny line ('I knew she'd gone soft- pay up Mal!') but other than that they do nothing apart from get drunk and stupidly play chicken in front of trains... they might come across as meancing to a group of 15 years olds but as bad guys they fail on epic levels. Its like the writers come up with a good idea but cant be bothered to expand on it. The 3 of them should be bouncing off each other and each one causing carnage. There should be a 3 way power struggle going on with each queen trying to out do the others. Pretty much a let down.

Im also confused as to how Maleficent knows about aspirin? Shouldn't it be Regina offering it to her? I mean Regina is the one who has lived in our world for 30 years while Mal was stuck underground as a dragon. It really bugs me when characters seem to get a automatic update on our world when in reality they would actually have to LEARN about modern day life.

I got slightly excited when I realised Regina was going to have to kidnap Pinocchio, that could have made for some tense viewing but now hes back to August the tension us gone for me... not that I wanted to see a kid get tortured but the potential threat of torturing a helpless child has way more tension than torturing a adult so now if Regina 'saves the day'... well she's just saved a 30 something man so not really as intriguing as her saving the small child she so recently bullied... if she took a hit for Pinocchio then it would have meant something.

The flashbacks were really boring and the only high light for me was the nod to the original sleeping beauty film- in Aurora's bedroom there was two dresses, one pink and the blue one she wore, great touch, rubbish story!

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I wish Maleficent's backstory would've been about why she hated Briar Rose instead of Regina saving her from her emo stage. I did like the scene with Aurora though. As always, the problem with this show is too much Regina.

 

The QOD's "tests" were lame. Why not make Regina kill someone?

 

Why, oh,why do they have to make Emma act so OOC? She was about 50 times more worried about Regina being one hour late than she ever was about Hook having his heart ripped off and almost crushed right in front of her. Yes, I'll forever be bitter about that. Following her around didn't bother me so much because Emma doesn't like to leave things to chance and wanted to know what was going on. But I thought she was good at it? Following Cruella's car 4 feet away in a big truck isn't good undercover work, Emma. Emma letting Regina take Pinocchio wasn't that bad for me, because the QOD would have taken him anyway, at least that way they had some control over it. Though now that I think about it, they should've just hid the child.

Emma better be as worried for Hook next week as she was for Regina this week. A girl can dream, right?

 

Colin's acting as HookRumpel was soo good. Those evil eyes and smirk..damn. And that scene with the hands on the chests...is there anyone Colin doesn't have chemistry with?

 

That last scene...5 villains. Talk about overkill. But I'm a bit excited about August's return!

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The Queens of darkness could also stand for queens of dull. Cruella often comes up with the odd funny line ('I knew she'd gone soft- pay up Mal!') but other than that they do nothing apart from get drunk and stupidly play chicken in front of trains... they might come across as meancing to a group of 15 years olds but as bad guys they fail on epic levels. Its like the writers come up with a good idea but cant be bothered to expand on it. The 3 of them should be bouncing off each other and each one causing carnage. There should be a 3 way power struggle going on with each queen trying to out do the others. Pretty much a let down.

I'm torn on this. On the one hand, I actually kind of like that the show is portraying Cruella, Ursula, and Mal as friends. It's a nice subversion of what we would generally expect. I'm one of those people who has forever wanted a dark Snowing counterpart--like a True Love couple that was devoted to being evil instead of being good--so I really like that these women genuinely seem to care about each other and have a sisterhood. It's kind of sweet, in a psychotic way. On the other, yeah, Queens of Bitchy Sorority Girls might be a more apt title. I haven't seen much "Darkness" at all from them (relative to what we've seen in the past, ofc). If the show was going to only let them be minions to Rumpel, they shouldn't have built them up as ~teh evilest. as it stands, I'm rooting for them all to be redeemed and hang around Storybrooke snarking on everyone else. (Also they should have saved Ursula, at least, for a different half season. Cruella couldn't carry one on her own, but shoving Ursula in when Mal is clearly the focus of this half season is a waste of legitimate baddie.)

Edited by stealinghome
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Also, how is it that Emma seems to be more upset about Regina going missing for like an hour than when her boyfriend was possessed and almost died. 

 

This episode had the smell of SwanQueen all over it. 

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I've had reservations about this Queens of Darkness Heroes vs. Villains B side of the seasons and these last two episodes haven't quelled those feelings.  As many of you pointed out,  I feel like the characters I know are getting mucked around to serve the storyline of the day:  Emma's a good bounty hunter?  Just kidding, no she isn't.  Charming and Snow are brave and forthright?  No, they are being secretive and weird.  And why are Team Charming freaking out b/c Regina has not checked back in within the hour?  Regina is a good guy who is going undercover to be a bad guy and has to get in good with the Mean Girls? 

 

Unfortunately, Belle is just in character.  She's dumb and easily manipulated.  I literally can't wrap my head around what they've done to one of the more interesting Disney princesses.  Just....grrrrr.

 

ITA that Colin killed it!  I adored how well he balanced the need to be "Rumble being Hook" while deciding (very well) what pieces of Hook and Rumble should and shouldn't be in there.  I wondered early on why Hook was lacking the sass I'm used to.  The scene on the beach was good.  That head turn was truly chilling.  But...where was actual Hook during all of this?!

 

Thank God for the shallow end of pool on this show.  Hello, wet Hook, grown up August, cute Will and what's up Sebastian Roche in armor?! 

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As with last week's episode, Team Good is still dumb. 

 

Dear Emma, I know you're bummed that your BFF Elsa went back to Arendelle, but you don't have to become Regina's protector and bestie. Stop it. It's weird.

 

I like that Maleficent channeled both Courtney Love and Ingrid Bergman tonight. Loved the wild hair. I wasn't feeling the "How Maleficent Got Her Groove Back" storyline, though. 

 

I didn't see faux!Hook coming, so that was probably the only interesting thing. It was convenient that both Hook and Rumple can't stand Will Scarlet--made things more convincing.

 

I wish Eion Bailey hadn't been listed in the credits so turning Pinocchio back into August would have been a surprise. I really never expected to see August again.

  • Love 3
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Who are these people and what have they done with the real characters?

 

Everyone else has already said everything I was thinking with Emma & Co's blown-out-of-proportion worry over Regina going undercover. Why do they care at all? Those witches used to be her friends. And really, Emma, Regina doesn't know the first thing about going undercover? She's only been masquerading as a benevolent mayor of a small town for 28 years. Then Emma just sitting in the woodshop, twiddling her thumbs, instead of, I dunno, KEEPING WATCH as the witches made off with Pinocchio was beyond stupid.

 

I will go against the seeming majority and say I HATED the Rumple-as-Hook reveal. RumpleHook was way creepier than actual Rumple, which was good, but the whole imposter thing just seems like such CHEAP writing. Oh, how do we make Rumple get the dagger back? I have no idea, let's just let him pretend to be someone else. I knew something was fishy when Hook referred to the car as "Gold's car". I don't think he has ever called him Gold, only Rumpelstiltskin or Crocodile.

 

Apparently Granny just leaves her diner completely unattended at night.

 

They really amped up the soap opera cheesiness this ep. Regina's "the worst" WAS The. Worst. The dumb "Pirate Oath" thing was only slightly less cheesy.

 

I was hoping we would get some good backstory on this version of Maleficent and her history with Aurora's family, but they spent more time on Regina and Rumple than Mal herself. At least she rocked the wallowing hair.

 

Also, I will keep asking this until the show explains it.... where is Anastasia, Will?

Edited by The Cake is a Pie
  • Love 9
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It grates on me on how often "happy ending" is uttered, though "get my revenge" is sneaking up in frequency.

Anyone have a gif of Rumple (as Hook) being commanded to face Belle, and her not making the connection?

There were some hot sparks between RumpleHook and Belle, as well as young Regina and Mal.

Mal looks much prettier with her hair showing, both don't care-messy and sleek 1940s style, than covered in the horned headpiece.

The white horse did a somewhat decent job playing drugged/cursed. ha

  • Love 2
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Leave it to Hook and Charming to be the only ones left who can view a situation logically without freaking out over poor Regina and her new drinking buddies:

Emma: You find anything in there?!?!
Hook: Well, only a table of broken bottles and a very irate Granny. Apparently, Regina and the witches drank the place dry. I'd say she won them over.
Emma: Unless that's exactly what they wanted her to think!!!!
Hook: I know you're worried but WE DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT HAPPENED YET.
Emma: That's what's worrying me!!! She's not at home, she's not in her office, my parents are going to check her vault...
Hook: Why do you fear the worst?
Emma: I can't help but think if the undercover thing worked - if she's got the situation under control - then why the hell isn't she back yet?!??!?!

 

Snow: Maybe this was a bad idea! If something happened to Regina...
Charming: Like you said, she'll be fine. SHE CAN TAKE CARE OF HERSELF.

 

So of course they're not allowed to say anything during the library meeting. 

 

Can I please get a scene where Charming and Hook share some much needed drinks and vent because they're so over their significant others bending backwards to accommodate Operation Bullshit?

  • Love 17
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I forgot to mention how much it bothered me when in the fairyback Regina slammed down Aurora's wedding invite and declared she was getting a happy ending because she was getting married. MARRIAGE IS NOT THE END-ALL, BE-ALL OF HAPPINESS. Neither is it an end. Besides, at that time, Regina herself was married, and miserable. It can't even be that True Love is a happy ending, because none of the "villains" are looking for that, at least not at that time.

 

 

Leave it to Hook and Charming to be the only ones left who can view a situation logically without freaking out over poor Regina and her new drinking buddies.

 

At this point, I would totally watch a Hook & Charming spin-off show over this show. Charming Hookers?

Edited by The Cake is a Pie
  • Love 10
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This week was not infuriatingly bad, but it was just bad.  This show has rarely been written that well, but what's new is that the show has completely lost its believability.  

 

The present-day plot made little to no sense.  Last episode, Maleficent incinerated three guards at the bridge for kicks, and this week, her idea of "bad" is burning a police car and drinking all night?  What was with Emma having a panic attack that Regina was late for an hour?  And how much more stupid can they make Snow and Charming asking whether Regina find out all the villains' secrets in just one night?  Based solely on what Snowing already knows about Maleficent, they should be fully aware that going undercover and "proving" that Regina is on the villains' side is extremely dangerous and could lead to people dying.  Meanwhile, why isn't Emma using some cloaking spell to keep tabs on Regina instead of sitting in a truck in plain view?  Is she not able to make herself invisible yet?  Why is she using the same horrible tactics that David is forced to use as a mortal human with zero powers and zero intelligence?   Emma knows full well that if Maleficent went all dragon and breathed on Pinocchio, he'd be firewood. Regina knows full well one little squeeze from Ursula's tentacles and he'd be goners.  And they still decided to go through with the Pinocchio guise.  Emma, Snow and Charming are supposed to be heroes, and the writers didn't make them do a single intelligent thing in the entire episode. 

 

Meanwhile, the flashbacks were a waste of time.  They only have so many episodes, yet they waste a Maleficent one on basically nothing?  We found out nothing new about Maleficent.  They wasted the time of the actors who played Aurora and King Stefan.  As someone else said, this flashback was almost exactly like the Anna/Charming one, except in reverse.  Are we supposed to believe that Maleficent, one of the coolest animated villains of all time, had to be inspired by Regina the Not-So-Magical Stable Girl to pursue her revenge?  Could they have made Maleficent a more pathetic loser?  Fine, Maleficent couldn't be a Dragon anymore, but why would she completely lose all her powers of magic?  Why did King Stefan show up out of the blue knowing that Maleficent could knock him out, strangle him from afar, throw a fireball at him... though from that scene, it's like Maleficent could do none of those things.  

 

Speaking of stupid, we also have that Dagger stuff.  Belle is supposed to be intelligent.  Fine, she was fooled for awhile, but when she summoned Rumple with the Dagger *using those words* and Hook was face to face with her, she should have clued in.  I hate how they based this entire subplot on Belle being fooled... again.  Haven't we seen enough of this in 4A?  

 

As expected, Maleficent is all by-gones with Regina because she wants to go after people who commit "far worst crimes".  Oh right, that's Snow and Charming.  Since you can't seek revenge on multiple people at the same time.  Big no no for villains.  Why would Maleficent be okay working with Rumple?  Bygones that he tried to kill them with the Chernobog?  Why would Rumple believe that Regina would genuinely be on their side?  The villains are sooooooooo smart except they can't tell Regina is working undercover or that Rumple is playing them like violins with his "we have aligned goals" crap.  Yeah, whatever...

 

Even the dialogue was pathetically written this week.  There were no funny quippy lines.  And the dramatic lines were lame.  Maleficent to Rumple: "As you and I know, pain always makes you stronger".  Uh, what about when you were drugged out in the castle from all that pain losing all motivation and ability to do anything? 

Edited by Camera One
  • Love 6
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Anyone have a gif of Rumple (as Hook) being commanded to face Belle, and her not making the connection?

Here you go:

http://quitethevesselyoucaptainswan.tumblr.com/post/113750843289

Belle wasn't looking at Rumple!Hook, and had her hood blocking her side view, when she made the command, so I can see how she didn't notice the creepy head turn. I don't think Belle is dumb, just super trusting.

I just realized that the diner scene didn't help with Hook/Will relations at all. I was hoping they'd eventually become friends, but now Will thinks Hook still wants to beat him up, when really Hook is a bit embarrassed with what he originally did.

Edited by pezgirl7
  • Love 4
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Belle wasn't looking at Rumple!Hook, and had her hood blocking her side view, when she made the command, so I can see how she didn't notice the creepy head turn.

Agreed--this was one place where the blocking and costuming really worked effectively together. It was clear to me that she just couldn't see Rumpel's creepy head turn. It's pretty par for the course for Belle's rotten luck that she was just looking the wrong way.

  • Love 3
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I just realized that the diner scene didn't help with Hook/Will relations at all. I was hoping they'd eventually become friends, but now Will thinks Hook still wants to beat him up, when really Hook is a bit embarrassed with what he originally did.

 

Oh, don't worry. I'm sure Hook and Will will make up and become best mates who have drinks together every day off screen. Kind of like how they handled the Belle/Will relationship entirely off screen...

 

I found it hilarious that we got yet another scene of Henry looking at the book with a magnifying glass. Such riveting television. And then when Belle asks him what he's up to, he says that he thinks the door might have something to do with the author. Oh, you think? What gave it away? Was it the sticky note that said "Author?"

Edited by Curio
  • Love 12
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Belle wasn't looking at Rumple!Hook, and had her hood blocking her side view, when she made the command, so I can see how she didn't notice the creepy head turn.

 

For sure, she didn't see it.  Though the words that Hooklestiltskin fed her could have given her pause.  She knows her words and could have thought a bit more about if that request to the dagger could allow Rumple to be there but not show himself to her.  When a character "clues in" and when a character does not "clue in" on this show is solely based on convenience to storytelling.  

Edited by Camera One
  • Love 3
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Well there's good news and bad news for this episode. The good news is that I found a huge bottle of margarita hiding in the back of my refrigerator which provided me with the means to make it through the episode. The bad news is that this episode was so bad that I'm now at the point where even alcohol is barely enough to make it through. What the hell was that that I just watched? 

 

I prepared for this episode by watching Mongoose v Cobra (spoiler alert: The mongoose wins). 

 

My random thoughts:

 

- "Are you still a bad girl?" Take this shot and prove it. Really? Alcohol is now the evilest of all evils? I must be really, truly evil then. Maybe they are proving their point about evil being made not born because crap like this requires huge quantities of liquor to make it even remotely watchable. Not happy with the idea of them drinking and driving though. Yes, that is truly evil.

 

- The Mean Girl hazing was ridiculous. Cartoon levels of stupid.

 

- Henry needs to get a life. Maybe they can do a reverse grounding by taking away the book and forcing him to go out and make friends or something.

 

-  I don't even care about Snow & David at this point. They suck.

 

- The flashbacks were lame. Was I supposed to be happy that Regina inspired another person to go destroy someone's life? Yay.

 

- Regina is so disgustingly petty that she cursed a horse. A horse

 

- Belle is still an idiot. Pirate's oath? Creepy stalking and touching? Man they really want the Rumbellers to eat their words regarding the Captain Swan stuff don't they?

 

I'm still ridiculously drunk, but wow did that episode suck. I don't even care at this point who wins or loses. 

 

ETA: I almost forgot. Now that August is a man again, does that mean Emma can finally punch him?

Edited by KAOS Agent
  • Love 7
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This isn't the show's fault, and it may also be because I saw some BTS photos when this ep was being filmed, but the weather -- very strong winds in most outdoor scenes, and the pouring rain in the dagger one -- took me out of the show a bit. I kept thinking about the actors trying to stay in character while trying not to be blown down the street. Same thing happened in the 4B episodes where everyone was pretending they weren't in the middle of a blizzard.

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At this point, I would totally watch a Hook & Charming spin-off show over this show. Charming Hookers?

 

I'd totally watch that over the main show at this point. They can go on a buddy adventure to get the Jolly Roger back where they hop realms, try and show off who's the better sword fighter, get drunk, commandeer some ships, and battle magical beings using only their wits, intelligence, and courage because they're just mortals.

 

And then a season later they come back to the main show again and Emma won't even notice that they were gone for 8 months.

  • Love 7
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Sorry but Belle was being dumb yet again and it's getting tiring by now. That dagger never should have left her or been given up to anyone save maybe Emma. That was just dumb logic.

 

So Aurora had been asleep for about what 35 + yrs by the time the second season came by? Wonder if anyone told Mal this when she came back.

Edited by rtms77
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I call foul on the Hook to Rumple transformation. When he transforms, Rumple's head is at the same height as Hook's. The camera should have panned down or something. Maybe Rumple kept Hook's legs and just transformed his upper body and I'm going to stop thinking about this now because my mind is going in an inappropriate direction. 

  • Love 1
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Even Regina seemed to be freaked out by Emma's ridiculously OTT concern for her. When she dropped the phone, my first thought was finally. I wouldn't have made it that long. At least she left a message so that Emma wouldn't think every awful thing ever had happened to her and blow everything sky high.

 

I think this plot would be a lot more interesting at this point if Snow and Regina had kept their undercover plan a secret from Emma for at least this ep. Or even better- Emma and David since he doesn't trust Regina like Snow does. Though since Emma apparently has a stalker chip attached to Regina's ass that no one knew about maybe it wouldn't have been less annoying but at least it could have been more interesting with better potential fallout.

 

A few pluses:

-The flashbacks were useless but I really like the friendship between Regina and Mal, both past and present.

-The whole Charming softball line because YES! Have they never heard of someone go to the meeting and report back? Or let Regina find them in the middle of nowhere like the first meeting? Idiots.

-The motherly way Regina tucked Pinocchio into the backseat was sweet but even moreso because of the way that Maleficent recognized it and didn't call it out as weakness. That moment brought the baby plot home for me way more than her constant spinning of the rattle.

-The hungover vault scene was great. Regina's eye roll-y reaction to all the bad girl antics was the only slightly redeeming feature but I liked that scene mainly because I didn't expect Maleficent to show up with Aspirin.

-Belle and Rumple made me cringe more than ever in this ep but I really liked seeing Hook, even as Rumple, with Belle. It made me really sad when he told her to test the dagger then because it was more than a bit predatory. It played on her past trust of Rumple, her fear of him now, Rumple's knowledge of her, and Belle's naïve trust in a man she saw as a friend. That's just shitty, but it is also more interesting than Rumbelle have been in a very long time.

 

For what it's worth, I also think Regina was supposed to leave the other three in the car during the train test. I think the question was: is she a hero who can't leave any of us to die, is she a villain who will save her own skin and to hell with the rest of us, or is she stupid enough to sit here while we poof out just to play our stupid game? I'm thinking she lost the test and that's why she said 'don't start' or some such when they looked at her after. She knew she'd lost and they knew but she is the evil queen, and Maleficent's friend, and at least she didn't poof the train for something overly heroic so onto vandalism and completely legal drinking!

 

I found this ep entertaining enough to not consider it a total waste of an hour but they really need to tone back the stupid a little. Preferably in the entire plotlines but I would take just the dialogue. What grown woman really asks if someone is still a bad girl? Stupid.

  • Love 1
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After tonight, I'm still not convinced that the writers aren't just hacks from fanfiction.net.  Why did Rumple have to de-shapeshift to prove that we knew it was him when it was so obvious?  I know this is a family show but do they have to hand hold us all the way?  OMG, Regina went off the radar...I'm not shocked, should I even care?  August is back and no longer a child and he's going to get tortured.  Wonder if Elsa is going to be back since they're making Frozen 2.

 

The author is so important!  It's not like these characters with no happy endings (take a shot) couldn't go to a city that isn't Storybrooke and seek out happiness there.  Nope, they're all stuck at the Disney fanfic central city and must find this guy who may or may not exist.

  • Love 2
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Does anyone even understand what the point is of stopping the villains from finding the author? I mean, if they all get happy endings then they wouldn't be running around whining about how their lives are so hard and what not. We know Regina doesn't have a freaking clue what her happy ending is and I doubt these other people do either, so why not just let them find the guy and let him write them a happy ending? The author storyline is just so boring and nonsensical that I just want it to be over with.

  • Love 1
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This show needs an intervention.

I feel like I need the intervention for still watching this shit.

 

Agree with everyone that this episode was a total unfunny, snooze but it also managed to have just enough infuriating parts to crack its way onto my Top 5 Most Hated episodes list. Bravo.

 

- I hated the Maleficent movie because it basically took all the kickass-ness out of the "Mistress of Evil" from the original Sleeping Beauty, so I loved this show giving her even less of a backbone in the week's edition of "How Mal Got Her Groove Back".

 

-No background on Mal vs. the Sleeping Beauty crew feud. In the Mal centric. As A&E would say guess I need to "keep watching!"

 

- Note to the writers: if you cast kickass Sebastian Roché as King Stefan, get your money's worth and actually have him appear in more than two scenes with 20 words of dialogue. I hope somewhere he and Frances O'Connor (Belle's mom) are laughing all the way to the bank about who had the easier paycheck. I pray they don't do the same with

Ernie Hudson

next week, but won't hold my breath.

 

-So Regina shouldn't be meeting Snowing out in the woods because it's too dangerous that they might get caught together...so by all means let's have our next meeting in the effing library. Stealth.

 

-I was so distracted by Regina being caught in a wind tunnel (with her hair flying all over her face) in the scene outside the library but when Cruella's car comes driving itself down the street,  did Mal say Cruella put the spell on it to do that? If so, first off bravo for mastering the concept before Google! Secondly, does this mean Cruella's magic gets both animals and cars to do her bidding? I was confused. Excellent use of Emma's bail bondsperson skills by maintaining a four foot following distance behind them in a big pickup...while she GPS tracked Regina's phone, which she checked continuously, while following four feet behind her. Just rename this arc "the heroes are idiots" and be done with it.

 

Mostly hated this episode because it broke my Emma-loving heart. I get that if Regina doesn't kidnap Pinocchio, the QoDs will do it anyway and then your double agent is out but that seemed so OOC for her to just go along with it, especially after how protective she was of him last week. Also? Emma ran around with less crazy, frantic eyes when her son was dying of apple tart poisoning (compliments of you-know-who) and was kidnapped by Pan than she did when Regina was an hour late checking in...on her undercover mission where you know sticking to a schedule to meet with your handlers is easier said than done. Just so we're clear: frozen while having to watch boyfriend's sworn enemy for hundred of years almost crushes his heart = casually shove said heart back in with little to no reaction; new BFF/formerly Evil Queen is an hour late checking in = panicky run around town beside yourself with worry looking for her. Gotcha. Sill. Not. Over. It.

 

I found it hilarious that we got yet another scene of Henry looking at the book with a magnifying glass. Such riveting television. And then when Belle asks him what he's up to, he says that he thinks the door might have something to do with the author. Oh, you think? What gave it away? Was it the sticky note that said "Author?"

This. Truest Stupid indeed. But hey this made my miniscule "pros" list for this episode because he was only on my screen with this bullshit for 20 seconds this time. And hey, no sweeping murderous actions under the rug this episode so score one for my sanity.

 

The only real bright spot in this episode was Colin once again hit it out of the park with his Rumple channeling Hook redux and his turn towards Belle when she summoned the Dark One to face her actually gave me chills. Bravo for that but count me in with everyone else wondering where the real Hook was the whole time.

  • Love 11
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