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Sweet Fellowship: Duggars and Friends (aka the Bates Family and Other TLC Families Thread)

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21 hours ago, Sew Sumi said:

Is this their wedding registry?  If so,I hate to to admit this, but I like that Torchiere Floor Lamp.  

Edited by ariel

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Someone found another registry, but it used Tori's middle name and called Bobby "Bob," so I question its legitimacy and didn't post it. I can't remember where it was from, not Amazon though. 

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On 11/28/2017 at 7:59 PM, galaxychaser said:

One of the sisters should give Michael a baby.  At least that kid will be taken care of. 

It's all about numbers and competition for these fundies. If one of them gave a child to Michael, would it still count toward her numbers? 

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1 hour ago, Heathen said:

It's all about numbers and competition for these fundies. If one of them gave a child to Michael, would it still count toward her numbers? 

They're child hoarders and it is all about the numbers.  The only way one gives Michael a baby (not that anyone should be expected to give anyone else their child) is if they get double credit in the Fundie Birthin' Sweepstakes.

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17 hours ago, Marigold said:

Those Bates girls sure try to look hot and sexy on social media. 

I’m hoping it’s code for “We escaped the Gothard Koolaid Society”. They have given us every indication that they’ve ditched the prairie frumpers (except Michael) for jeans and board shorts and are going mainstream evangelical /Fundy Lite now. 

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They are in no way mainstream Evangelical. Clothes really don't mean that much any longer as long as they're modest. Just because Whitney has worn a bikini, it doesn't change her core beliefs. All of the single Bateses and maybe even Zachney attend Gil's church. And we know he's still preaching Gothard doctrine. 

tl;dr Pants on the married women don't change core values. 

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Erin's due 4/28. I wonder if they plan to induce early as they planned to with Brooklyn (before she came on her own around 36 weeks). 

eta: if they do induce early, Erin and Alyssa's babies will be born very close together.

Edited by Sew Sumi
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10 minutes ago, Sew Sumi said:

They are in no way mainstream Evangelical. Clothes really don't mean that much any longer as long as they're modest. Just because Whitney has worn a bikini, it doesn't change her core beliefs. All of the single Bateses and maybe even Zachney attend Gil's church. And we know he's still preaching Gothard doctrine. 

tl;dr Pants on the married women don't change core values. 

Their core values haven’t really changed, so we definitely agree on that. There are still Fundy churches out there whose members would rat you out to the pastor for wearing pants, visiting a movie theater, and various and sundry other sins  against the local church community, followed by public shaming and threats of expulsion. It would seem they are more Fundy Lite, though there are varying degrees of Fundy, and very individual.

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Did you see the Thanksgiving pics of Whitney on IG? UP filmed at Mama Jane's. In one post from Whitney's IG, she's with her family in a cute outfit, wearing jeans. The same day, Lawson posts a pic that includes Whitney in the same top, but now wearing a skirt (with camera crew in view). Interesting how she projects herself online vs. what she projects on TV. 

Edited by Sew Sumi
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On 22/11/2017 at 10:30 PM, GeeGolly said:

She's choosing some Ellen DeGeneres items. I wonder if she knows who Ellen is?

I had no idea Ellen sold $50 cotton shower curtains. 

Edited by Kokapetl
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4 hours ago, Arwen Evenstar said:

I’m hoping it’s code for “We escaped the Gothard Koolaid Society”. They have given us every indication that they’ve ditched the prairie frumpers (except Michael) for jeans and board shorts and are going mainstream evangelical /Fundy Lite now. 

When I see their photos online nowadays, I just can't believe they're the same people we first met on the Duggars show!

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Looks to me like Alyssa is in "let's get it over with" mode when it comes to making babies. She has said repeatedly -- when she was first married and in more recent "trivia" episodes -- that she wants 6. She doesn't seem to enjoy kids. Sure she loves her kids and they look well taken care of, but I think she enjoys a clean/quiet house more. I think she'll be happy to have a half dozen 8-15 yr olds, more than she will a half dozen babies so it's like, let's get the baby stuff over with.

Erin and Chad, I STILL don't get it. She's had bleeding type of complications that they've said need to be monitored carefully, she needs shots to maintain pregnancies, she and Prince Chad have been blessed with 2 kids -- one of each -- and they're STILL willing to roll the dice on health to have another? And probably another after that and another after that?? That's where I think the Bates are just as fundie as the Duggars and the rest of them. They are more polished, more modern, allow their kids more freedom and yet they are fundie thru and thru. They've been indoctrinated from such a young age that they likely see no other option besides making a baby every yr.

I do think Kelly isn't as chill behind close doors as she acts. I feel like if one of her kids -- esp her daughters -- suggested she didn't want to get married, didn't want babies, or was content with her 2 babies and didn't want anymore, Kelly would be laying on some guilt re more grandkids PLUS God has blessed you sooooo much with this family and such a good husband, it's your duty to continue to make more babies and you need to pray that God puts you back on the right path of baby making. Now of course these couples have their own free will and it's not like she can show up in their bedrooms and command John or Chad to perform, but I think she does influence her daughters' thinking -- esp. the ones she's closer to. I can see her "counseling" Erin about how doctors don't know everything, you had 2 successful pregnancies, leave it to God. I can see her being a bit more hands off with Alyssa simply bc Alyssa wants nothing to do with the family and Kelly is probably savvy enough to realize that if she pressures Alyssa into having more kids or whatever when Alyssa doesn't want to, she'll see even less of Alyssa and her kids. I'm convinced that Kelly's desperation for all her daughters to be good fundie women -- i.e. married and making babies -- is the reason she's pushing her daughters into the hands of loser guys. I mean Evan -- really? A fundie family band with no marketable skills? But she knows Carlin is loud and annoying and lots of fundie guys won't touch that, so if someone is interested, let's get it done.

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Speaking of Evan, snarkers on FJ have noted his typical facial expression in his IG pics and have named him Fundie Zoolander. Once I read that, I can't unsee it. 

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cereality, I totally agree. I can't for the life of me figure out why gorgeous Carlin is wasting her time with a loser like Evan when there's a million guys with actual jobs who'd snap her up in a heartbeat. Josie's boyfriend has real employment, but she's what, barely 18? What's the rush? I definitely think Kelly fears the more her kids are exposed to the real world via their TV fame and social media, the more likely they are to rethink pumping out fifteen kids for Christ. Best to get them married off as quickly as possible.

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Agreed, @BitterApple except Kelly Bates and JB Duggar have both hit a snag when it comes to marrying off their boys. Kelly has six girls courting or married, but only one son married with three others in their twenties. 

I don't get the sense Kelly is chill at all. I think she will be in full fledged panic/pressure mode if anyone was to tell her they were going to stop having kids.

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If anything, I think Gil is the more accepting and chill one in that marriage, not Kelly. Of course in his perfect world, he wants every child married to another fundie and producing 10+ grandkids and raising them all the fundie way. But I think he also understands that may not happen and ultimately he seems to want his kids to be happy and his daughters to be taken care of well. Honestly if his kids married Christians, I don't think he'd lose as much sleep as Kelly if one decided to go fundie lite or mainstream Christian or if one decided 2 kids were enough or whatever; he may not love it, but I think he'd take the approach of they're happy and good people, my job is done, those bedroom decisions are for them to make on their own. When he gave Evan permission to court Carlin, I thought there was some real reservation there -- much more than the usual "I don't want to give another daughter away" joking with the other sons in law; there was much more -- you're young [i.e. you have no means of financial support], you don't know who you're going to be yet, she's young too, this might not work out but give it a shot . . . . Hope there's a LONG courtship and engagement with that one, though knowing Kelly they'll be walking down the aisle next year.

I have to imagine that everything that household works along gender lines -- with mom talking to the girls about this stuff and dad to the boys. While mom has married/courted off daughter after daughter, even to loser guys lately, dad has 3 sons in their early to mid 20s and hasn't been able to pressure anyone to take a wife (though I think Trace was/is getting to know someone). He could easily impart his "wisdom" to Nathan and tell him to get over Ashley and find himself a local girl before they're all taken or to Lawson and tell him to give up the music thing, get himself a job or business in the next yr bc that'll make him marriage material. Yet he seems not to be doing that and is letting them pursue their own goals right now of flying and music. Heck there was even a time when he went out to lunch with the little girls and one of them said something about how it's sad to grow up bc then  you have to get married and leave and he said "you don't have to leave, you can stay with Dad forever if you want to." I know it was only a conversation with an 8 yr old, but fundie mom Kelly would 100% have taken the opportunity to impart how she will want to get married in 12 yrs bc marriage is such a blessing and then she can have her own kids and be a mom etc. while Gil took the more "normal" -- you don't have to leave your family -- approach that you'd take with a kid.

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9 hours ago, Temperance said:

Agreed, @BitterApple except Kelly Bates and JB Duggar have both hit a snag when it comes to marrying off their boys. Kelly has six girls courting or married, but only one son married with three others in their twenties. 

I don't get the sense Kelly is chill at all. I think she will be in full fledged panic/pressure mode if anyone was to tell her they were going to stop having kids.

I think the Duggar boys have had a snag though bc they aren't even average looking, have no means of supporting a wife besides relying on JB's money, and I think even other fundie families wonder what the hell is going on in that home. With Josh molesting his sisters and then repeatedly cheating on this wife, you know others are thinking -- are the other brothers capable of that too -- and thus no one wants to encourage a daughter to date a Duggar. These aren't normal families where siblings have independent thoughts and views -- in fact -- just the opposite, they are cults where you are NOT supposed to have that and your siblings are your best friends -- so of course people suspect the brothers.

OTOH no such allegations of the Bates boys and the Bates have raised their sons (and expect their sons in law) to be self supporting. Zach is a cop and I imagine Nathan could support a wife/family since it appears that he's working for a flight school full time. Lawson and Trace probably can't right now-- but Trace was talking about starting his own business and Lawson will find himself a job or business when he's ready to marry. Honestly I think it's just the expectation in that family so they do it -- they know that unlike JB, dad can't just direct the revenue from one cell phone tower to your bank account and give you one of his rental properties to live in. That's why all the Bates sons/sons in law -- except Bobby and Evan -- are making their own way.

Edited by cereality
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2 minutes ago, cereality said:

I think the Duggar boys have had a snag though bc they aren't even average looking, have no means of supporting a wife besides relying on JB's money, and I think even other fundie families wonder what the hell is going on in that home. With Josh molesting his sisters and then repeatedly cheating on this wife, you know others are thinking -- are the other brothers capable of that too -- and thus no one wants to encourage a daughter to date a Duggar. These aren't normal families where siblings have independent thoughts and views -- in fact -- just the opposite, they are cults where you are NOT supposed to have that and your siblings are your best friends -- so of course people suspect the brothers.

OTOH no such allegations of the Bates boys and the Bates have raised their sons (and expect their sons in law) to be self supporting. Zach is a cop and I imagine Nathan could support a wife/family since it appears that he's working for a flight school full time. Lawson and Trace probably can't right now-- but Trace was talking about starting his own business and Lawson will find himself a job or business when he's ready to marry. Honestly I think it's just the expectation in that family so they do it -- they know that unlike JB, dad can't just direct the revenue from one cell phone tower to your bank account and give you one of his rental properties to live in. That's why all the Bates sons/sons in law -- except Bobby and Evan -- are making their own way.

Hopefully Joe can change some of that perspective. He, like JD, do not appear to be like Josh at all. I would like to know what Joe is doing to support Kendra, however.

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19 minutes ago, madpsych78 said:

 I would like to know what Joe is doing to support Kendra, however.

Same thing Bin is doing to support Jessa, only with slightly less menial tasks? --  i.e., strictly obeying JB's whims and getting pocket money for it.. .. 

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23 minutes ago, cereality said:

I think the Duggar boys have had a snag though bc they aren't even average looking, have no means of supporting a wife besides relying on JB's money, and I think even other fundie families wonder what the hell is going on in that home. With Josh molesting his sisters and then repeatedly cheating on this wife, you know others are thinking -- are the other brothers capable of that too -- and thus no one wants to encourage a daughter to date a Duggar. These aren't normal families where siblings have independent thoughts and views -- in fact -- just the opposite, they are cults where you are NOT supposed to have that and your siblings are your best friends -- so of course people suspect the brothers.

OTOH no such allegations of the Bates boys and the Bates have raised their sons (and expect their sons in law) to be self supporting. Zach is a cop and I imagine Nathan could support a wife/family since it appears that he's working for a flight school full time. Lawson and Trace probably can't right now-- but Trace was talking about starting his own business and Lawson will find himself a job or business when he's ready to marry. Honestly I think it's just the expectation in that family so they do it -- they know that unlike JB, dad can't just direct the revenue from one cell phone tower to your bank account and give you one of his rental properties to live in. That's why all the Bates sons/sons in law -- except Bobby and Evan -- are making their own way.

Lawson is 25. It seems unfair (to say the least) that he gets to continue to explore his options while his sisters are courting as teens, with some expectation that these courtships will lead to marriage then to babies. 

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49 minutes ago, Temperance said:

Lawson is 25. It seems unfair (to say the least) that he gets to continue to explore his options while his sisters are courting as teens, with some expectation that these courtships will lead to marriage then to babies. 

It's unfair but that's how it goes. Fundie guys -- and all guys really -- can marry later bc their fertility isn't changing year to year in their 20s. Plus even in the Bates marriages, the good looking/employed guys were older than their wives -- Chad and John were both 5+ yrs older than Erin and Alyssa who were like 21 and 19. Chad wasn't that far from 30 IIRC. At age 28, Lawson can easily court at 22 yr old or even a 19 yr old if he so chooses. That gives him 2.5 more years to mess around with "his music" and then 6 months before he's ready to court, he can easily snag some kind of production/office gopher job in Nashville in the music industry or come back to his hometown and re launch his mowing lawns business. The benefit for these guys is that fundie girls are typically raised paycheck to paycheck with many siblings and small homes. These girls aren't expecting a man who is bringing home 100k and benefits or even 75k; a guy willing to work who can bring home 30 or 40k and provide a cute 2 bedroom rental home like Chad's house or tiny apartment like Brandon is like hitting the lotto.

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20 minutes ago, cereality said:

It's unfair but that's how it goes. Fundie guys -- and all guys really -- can marry later bc their fertility isn't changing year to year in their 20s. Plus even in the Bates marriages, the good looking/employed guys were older than their wives -- Chad and John were both 5+ yrs older than Erin and Alyssa who were like 21 and 19. Chad wasn't that far from 30 IIRC. At age 28, Lawson can easily court at 22 yr old or even a 19 yr old if he so chooses. That gives him 2.5 more years to mess around with "his music" and then 6 months before he's ready to court, he can easily snag some kind of production/office gopher job in Nashville in the music industry or come back to his hometown and re launch his mowing lawns business. The benefit for these guys is that fundie girls are typically raised paycheck to paycheck with many siblings and small homes. These girls aren't expecting a man who is bringing home 100k and benefits or even 75k; a guy willing to work who can bring home 30 or 40k and provide a cute 2 bedroom rental home like Chad's house or tiny apartment like Brandon is like hitting the lotto.

It's an unwritten rule of Fundydom that the husband should always be older than the wife.  Preferably, he'll be anywhere from a few years to a decade older, but in a pinch, a few months will do. It sets the husband up as being more "mature" and "experienced" than his bride (even if in reality, he's just as sheltered and unworldly as she is) and helps him establish his rightful authority over her. When Jessa Duggar married a "younger man", it must have raised a few eyebrows.

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2 hours ago, Temperance said:

Lawson is 25. It seems unfair (to say the least) that he gets to continue to explore his options while his sisters are courting as teens, with some expectation that these courtships will lead to marriage then to babies. 

This is probably the abstinential equivalent  of "letting him sleep around", plus attempting to avert midlife accusations of "You never let me do this when I was an appropriate age".  

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On 12/2/2017 at 3:23 PM, Sew Sumi said:

They are in no way mainstream Evangelical. Clothes really don't mean that much any longer as long as they're modest. Just because Whitney has worn a bikini, it doesn't change her core beliefs. All of the single Bateses and maybe even Zachney attend Gil's church. And we know he's still preaching Gothard doctrine. 

tl;dr Pants on the married women don't change core values. 

I prefer to think of them as Zitney. More fitting. 

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I just have to say that for some reason the word Torbi sounds like some hot new Christmas toy this year! I'm sure all the parents will be fighting over it!

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10 hours ago, cereality said:

It's unfair but that's how it goes. Fundie guys -- and all guys really -- can marry later bc their fertility isn't changing year to year in their 20s. Plus even in the Bates marriages, the good looking/employed guys were older than their wives -- Chad and John were both 5+ yrs older than Erin and Alyssa who were like 21 and 19. Chad wasn't that far from 30 IIRC. At age 28, Lawson can easily court at 22 yr old or even a 19 yr old if he so chooses. That gives him 2.5 more years to mess around with "his music" and then 6 months before he's ready to court, he can easily snag some kind of production/office gopher job in Nashville in the music industry or come back to his hometown and re launch his mowing lawns business. The benefit for these guys is that fundie girls are typically raised paycheck to paycheck with many siblings and small homes. These girls aren't expecting a man who is bringing home 100k and benefits or even 75k; a guy willing to work who can bring home 30 or 40k and provide a cute 2 bedroom rental home like Chad's house or tiny apartment like Brandon is like hitting the lotto.

Chad was 26 1/2 and he is four years older than Erin. He is currently 30 and she is 26. John is five years older than Alyssa. John was 24  when they got married and she was 19. 

You are  right about the increased pressure for young women/girls to get married younger than their brothers, but it's something I don't like about fundies. 

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I thought Fundy guys were usually older because they needed to be established in some kind of job.

I wonder what kind of vibe they give off though? Apparently Zach was like a scared deer in headlights during his first courtship, but I wonder if a lot of Fundy guys come off as superior holier than thou type men? I think that would limit interest in them to true Fundy females.

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3 hours ago, GeeGolly said:

 I wonder if a lot of Fundy guys come off as superior holier than thou type men? I think that would limit interest in them to true Fundy females.

You would think so, but fundy women seem to find that sexy.  Jinger was attracted to that type of a guy.

Edited by ariel
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8 hours ago, GeeGolly said:

I thought Fundy guys were usually older because they needed to be established in some kind of job.

I wonder what kind of vibe they give off though? Apparently Zach was like a scared deer in headlights during his first courtship, but I wonder if a lot of Fundy guys come off as superior holier than thou type men? I think that would limit interest in them to true Fundy females.

Sometimes they don’t even take that long.  If the newly fundy male convert has a low self-esteem and very little to be naturally proud of until they discover this ‘first shall be last and the last first’ miracle bullet. they get as supercilious about their saved superiority in scant years time.

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7 hours ago, ariel said:

You would think so, but fundy women seem to find that sexy.  Jinger was attracted to that type of a guy.

I actually consider Jinger a true Fundy Female.

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16 hours ago, Tabbygirl521 said:

Dear God. 

Re:  The picture above.  That looks like my cat's disgusting food.  Who in their right mind would eat.

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28 minutes ago, toodles said:

Re:  The picture above.  That looks like my cat's disgusting food.  Who in their right mind would eat.

Someone who is hungry and cannot afford anything else.

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17 hours ago, Tabbygirl521 said:

Dear God. 

 

56 minutes ago, toodles said:

Re:  The picture above.  That looks like my cat's disgusting food.  Who in their right mind would eat.

 

27 minutes ago, crazycatlady58 said:

Someone who is hungry and cannot afford anything else.

I kid you not, that stuff is loved in Puerto Rico.  When we were packing up a care package for his sister post Maria, I gave my husband a look like, “Really, haven’t they suffered enough already?” He said that he loved it growing up as a kid and that she still loves it.  They call it “jamon pica’o” (spiced ham) there. I told him that even though that sounds way more appetizing than “potted meat”, I would only eat it under duress. It really looks gross, but hey, who am I to judge?  His sister was thrilled to get it along with Vienna sausages. 

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1 minute ago, Arwen Evenstar said:

 

 

I kid you not, that stuff is loved in Puerto Rico.  When we were packing up a care package for his sister post Maria, I gave my husband a look like, “Really, haven’t they suffered enough already?” He said that he loved it growing up as a kid and that she still loves it.  They call it “jamon pica’o” (spiced ham) there. I told him that even though that sounds way more appetizing than “potted meat”, I would only eat it under duress. It really looks gross, but hey, who am I to judge?  His sister was thrilled to get it along with Vienna sausages. 

Hmm.  You learn something new every day.

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On 12/2/2017 at 3:36 PM, Sew Sumi said:

Erin's due 4/28. I wonder if they plan to induce early as they planned to with Brooklyn (before she came on her own around 36 weeks). 

eta: if they do induce early, Erin and Alyssa's babies will be born very close together.

Oh my, ultrasounds have gotten much clearer since I had my soon-to-be 23 year old. 

Edited by Genevrier · Reason: I do actually know how old my child is!
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2 minutes ago, toodles said:

Hmm.  You learn something new every day.

When he told me they call it jamon picado, my response was, “Its actually HAM?” I’ve always been suspicious of anything simply called “meat, as it implies ground up offal. Not up for a “rooter to the tooter” dining experience. But, yes, Toodles, it looks like cat food.

I liked Vienna sausages with baked beans and I also remember liking Spam if it was grilled when I was a kid.Then, after hearing the Monty Python skit “Spam”, when I was much older, I learned that Brits like my dad LOVED it because it was a treat when meat was scarce during WW2 and the many  years of rationing thereafter.

Sorry, I’m sooooo off topic. I thought we were in the Prayer Closet.

That’s going to be one pretty baby! Erin goes to a real doctor with real medical things. Take that, Muffy.

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Can we, please, stop copy-pasting the potted meat-product picture? I know I would prefer to never see it again. It makes me a little nauseous every time I see it, and there is already more than enough to be nauseated about in Duggarland. Thank you! ?

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1 hour ago, Arwen Evenstar said:

When he told me they call it jamon picado, my response was, “Its actually HAM?” I’ve always been suspicious of anything simply called “meat, as it implies ground up offal. Not up for a “rooter to the tooter” dining experience. But, yes, Toodles, it looks like cat food.

I liked Vienna sausages with baked beans and I also remember liking Spam if it was grilled when I was a kid.Then, after hearing the Monty Python skit “Spam”, when I was much older, I learned that Brits like my dad LOVED it because it was a treat when meat was scarce during WW2 and the many  years of rationing thereafter.

Sorry, I’m sooooo off topic. I thought we were in the Prayer Closet.

That’s going to be one pretty baby! Erin goes to a real doctor with real medical things. Take that, Muffy.

Ha! "rooter to tooter" made me laugh! I don't know about potted meat, but the reference to Spam made me think of our time in Guam. Spam may have been a big deal when we were in Hawaii, but that positively paled in comparison to its popularity in Guam. That, Tabasco sauce, and Budweiser in a can were pretty much the three major food groups. I remember after the typhoons and the earthquake while we were there, the newspaper ran a big article about how there were special shipments of those products en route, more or less implying that starvation was not imminent.

And, yeah,  that does look like a very pretty baby. Is that a normal type ultrasound which just happened to come out extra clear, or one of the vanity type? I ask because my daughter is about two weeks further along, and none of her ultrasounds thus far have shown anything with nearly that sort of resolution. Granted, with the last one, the baby's feet were pointed straight out toward the front, so that was more or less the only real detail we got, but they were still not that clear.

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