Sweet Fellowship: Duggars and Friends (aka the Bates Family and Other Featured Families Thread)

[dargosmydaddy]

What is that monstrosity on the poor kid's head?! It looks like it weighs more than she does!

[Barb23]

I think it's a newborn cap with a bow made in it for a girl.  I agree, looks like it's swallowing her up. 

[Zahdii]

52 minutes ago, dargosmydaddy said:

What is that monstrosity on the poor kid's head?! It looks like it weighs more than she does!

At least it's not so tight that it'll leave marks where the elastic burrows into the baby's tender scalp.

[Sew Sumi]

2 hours ago, riverblue22 said:

Late Friday night does not sound like an induced labor.

Some people who are induced do not start laboring right away; I've heard of women who didn't start labor for two days after induction! It could be a situation like that. Alyssa just happened to be in town last weekend. Erin's nails are freshly manicured. I think it was planned. 

Edited August 10, 2016 by Sew Sumi

[BitterApple]

8 minutes ago, Sew Sumi said:

Some people who are induced do not start laboring right away; I've heard of women who didn't start labor for two days after induction! It could be a situation like that. Alyssa just happened to be in town last weekend. Erin's nails are freshly manicured. I think it was planned. 

I think it was as well. As you noted, Alyssa doesn't seem to have much use for her family unless there's a paycheck involved, so it's unlikely she just happened to be in town the weekend Erin went into labor. If the hospital had given UP permission to film the birth then they may have accommodated a Friday night induction. 

[MunichNark]

I'm glad she's safely delivered and hope they will shut it down now for good. One each is plenty for her.

Alyssa doesn't seem to like that much noise and chaos. Good for her I'd say, live your life the way you want it.

[yogi2014L]

9 hours ago, BitterApple said:

I think it was as well. As you noted, Alyssa doesn't seem to have much use for her family unless there's a paycheck involved, so it's unlikely she just happened to be in town the weekend Erin went into labor. If the hospital had given UP permission to film the birth then they may have accommodated a Friday night induction. 

Honestly I think Alyssa is smart to show up for a paycheck. Its easy money. It will help them get established. I say good for them. Also I saw her in an IG post and she didnt look pregnant to me, so double yay.

[Absolom]

One thought came to me that with Erin's precipitate labor last time that Dr. Vick might have wanted to be close by for Erin's labor this time.  Starting an induction on Friday at noon or later would allow him to be at the hospital for most or all of the labor without impacting other patients. 

[Sew Sumi]

I agree that is the likely scenario.

[Sew Sumi]

Erin answered me! She says that she went into labor naturally. 

[Absolom]

Well good for her both for answering and getting what may have been a normal labor. 

[jumper sage]

When my mother had my brother in 1961 and went in to have her stitches taken out, she was already pregnant with me.  We are 42 weeks apart.  People would say, "Oh Irish twins?"  Parent would respond, "Just Italian kids".  Our sister was born 5 years later and that was it.

[zoomama]

jumper sage, my mother also went in to have her 6 week check up after having me and was also pregnant again with my brother.   never counted the weeks but geez, 42 weeks apart, thats crazy. we are 10 months and 17ish days apart. still too close!!!

[jumper sage]

@zoomama - Well we are Italian so it is not a big deal in our family or neighborhood.  I just can't imagine her "doing it" so close to giving birth.  

These people are crazy though.  Their whole life plan and family planning is something out of a comic book.

[Bitter Betty]

For what it's worth, I was induced. I checked into the hospital at 6pm and was induced at 9pm. (However, I did not go into active labor until the next day). 

[flyingdi]

What are the age relations between the Duggar kids and the Bates kids.  They keep saying they are great friends but I really can't see anyone other than maybe Jana and Michael getting along that we'll. I don't know, maybe some of the younger kids too.  They really don't seem to have much in common besides the religion and the fact there a ton of children in each family.

[Sew Sumi]

They have a lot of same-sex kids around the same age, although the Bateses seemed to go a couple (or three) of this and a couple (or three) of that, pretty much straight down the line. They didn't have a run of what, 7/8of the same in a row? The only girl in there, Joy, is age-compatible with Carlin Bates. The younger two boys are age-compatible with the second to last group of Bates boys, but they're really too young to be allowed to form real friendships yet. JD was a groomsman for Zach, IIRC. As for the older  girls aside from Jana and Michael, I just don't see them mixing well together. Alyssa is too private (although she is a crack party-planner, a thousand times better than Sierra), Erin too wrapped up in Chad, her family, and her music.  I have never seen Jessa or Jill really interact with either of them. I don't see that Tori and Jinger have much in common; they seem to be polar opposites. Now that Trace is older, he's sort of age-compatible between Josiah and the Boy Twins. If they do interact, I could see the Twins playing a game of football with the Bates boys. Joe is age-appropriate with Nate; maybe those two became good friends when Joe was in TN; I don't see him meshing well with mega-extrovert Lawson. Lawson really doesn't have a Duggar peer, since everyone in his age range are the four JSlaves. 

Funny that Smuggar and Zach are about the same age (Zach turns 28 in December, I think), they never seemed to forge a friendship. That says more about Smuggar than Zach, whose friendship I noted above. 

[GeeGolly]

The Bates & Duggar kids say they're friends because neither family really knows the true definition of the word friend. Although the Bates kids may have a better definition now that they have attended college.

When one is homeschooled to the degree of Gothardites it would be difficult to make & maintain friendships. They meet folks from all over the country for a week a year and then all go home to their respective states, and go to school and church in their own home.

It appears that Michaela & Jana and Joy & Carlin seemed able to maintain some kind of friendship.

The only friend the Duggar kids seem to have is Sierra and maybe the brother & sister who I think were/are exchange students, although the Duggars were not their host family.

Not allowing friends is one of the things JB & M do that piss me off. Not only does it deprive the kids of a zillion emotional growth opportunities, but I think it breeds hate, fear & self-righteousness.

[Barb23]

I think it was Erin's wedding that the Duggar girls were being "helpers" for doing the odd jobs that needed to be done. (Even tho think most of that was generated for the show.) Wasn't it Jill that claimed to be Erin's best friend or at least a good friend yet she wasn't a bridesmaid or had any real part in the wedding?  

I'm hopeful the Bates kids have friends being exposed to the outside world more with their jobs & college.

It is a shame that JB & M have stunted their children socially with them not being allowed to have true friends.  In their Gothard world, they meet a person once & become a friend when they really are more of an acquaintance.  We were so hopeful that the older kids (esp the girls) would be able to hang around with Derick's friends once the Dullards married.  That didn't seem to be allowed or pan out.  Even when Ben appeared on the scene & asked to court Jessa, he was definitely more of prearranged acquaintance from church than a friend. I think the girls wouldn't have had that "why is he here?" Or "which one is he here for?"  surprised looks on their faces when he showed up if he was a true friend. 

One more thought.  I wonder how many friends the Smuggars had in DC?  (Well besides Smug's personal friends he met on line.)  Was the couple that appeared on the show that had also recently moved to DC & the mom was in the service real friends or did TLC just find them for the show?  I think it was said they were from church.  Also were the Smuggars friends with the couples they showed at the car lot employee recognition dinner when they were in Arkansas or once again, was it all for the show?  IIRC, they all had babies or kids around the same ages.  I would think that Anna would have liked to have fellow mom friends to fellowship with (Sorry, had to say it) rather than her SILs who weren't even married or courting at that point. 

[Churchhoney]

2 hours ago, GeeGolly said:

The Bates & Duggar kids say they're friends because neither family really knows the true definition of the word friend. Although the Bates kids may have a better definition now that they have attended college.

When one is homeschooled to the degree of Gothardites it would be difficult to make & maintain friendships. They meet folks from all over the country for a week a year and then all go home to their respective states, and go to school and church in their own home.

It appears that Michaela & Jana and Joy & Carlin seemed able to maintain some kind of friendship.

The only friend the Duggar kids seem to have is Sierra and maybe the brother & sister who I think were/are exchange students, although the Duggars were not their host family.

Not allowing friends is one of the things JB & M do that piss me off. Not only does it deprive the kids of a zillion emotional growth opportunities, but I think it breeds hate, fear & self-righteousness.

Plus, Gothardism loudly and actively preaches against allowing children or young people to have any friends (as do some other similar belief groups, like the family-integrated church crowd, to some degree).     Allowing any real contact between offspring and their peers dilutes the power of the parents, although of course they pretend that it's for the sake of shielding the kids from bad young influences that will pull them away from Jesus. The giveaway, though, is that they define all kid friendships as detracting from Jesusness. The whole "oh, yeah, the Bates kids are our kids' friends" is a smokescreen to hide the truth, from the outside world but,mostly, from the kids themselves. But the preaching against friends is repeated everywhere. As are the shallow lies to fool the kids into thinking they do have friends.

And yet again I note that these so-called "religious" practices and ideas are really just the practices and ideas of pathologically power-mad nutso parents toward their kids. My family isolated me to the absolute limit of their ability yet fought tooth and nail against my assertions that I'd had no friends and continued those arguments long after I'd left the house. Just exactly like Gothardites, they isolated kids for the sake of giving parents more power and just like GOthardites they glibly lied about it. The only difference was -- no Jesus. So that tells me that Jesus has nothing to do with it in either case. Poor dumb deluded Duggar kids. They're ruined for life when it comes to socialization, really. I picked up on the truth quite early and left the fold pretty early, too. But my brain has kept a lot of the social warping it got for a lifetime.

[satrunrose]

4 hours ago, Churchhoney said:

The whole "oh, yeah, the Bates kids are our kids' friends" is a smokescreen to hide the truth, from the outside world but,mostly, from the kids themselves. But the preaching against friends is repeated everywhere. As are the shallow lies to fool the kids into thinking they do have friends.

I agree completely, Church Honey and I think they do exactly the same thing when it comes to marriage. The Duggar system is the very definition of an arranged marriage but instead of going with that (and the accompanying belief that romantic love either isn't important or is something that develops after marriage) they sell their poor kids this sunshine and knights and princesses pile of crap that I can't see enduring long-term with a guy you barely know who was picked out by your Dad. As you said, though, it's much easier to manipulate your kids when you call "friendly chat twice a year" friendship and "butterflies because I'm finally getting romantic attention" true love. 

[queenanne]

5 hours ago, satrunrose said:

I agree completely, Church Honey and I think they do exactly the same thing when it comes to marriage. The Duggar system is the very definition of an arranged marriage but instead of going with that (and the accompanying belief that romantic love either isn't important or is something that develops after marriage) they sell their poor kids this sunshine and knights and princesses pile of crap that I can't see enduring long-term with a guy you barely know who was picked out by your Dad. As you said, though, it's much easier to manipulate your kids when you call "friendly chat twice a year" friendship and "butterflies because I'm finally getting romantic attention" true love. 

If they split the difference they're only splitting the difference because they want to appease the kids' internalized beliefs (blaming Disney, if the kids were allowed such early influences - to be fair some secular feminists blame Disney also); and yet seem modern in the bargain.  After all, we've also discussed how the Duggs made it plain their side-hugging arms'-length courtship goal, is designed specifically NOT to have the kids pine away lovesickly, because they're "not getting attached".   It hasn't worked because most girls have the seed of romantic dreamery in them; but they'd love it to work.

[Arwen Evenstar]

2 hours ago, queenanne said:

If they split the difference they're only splitting the difference because they want to appease the kids' internalized beliefs (blaming Disney, if the kids were allowed such early influences - to be fair some secular feminists blame Disney also); and yet seem modern in the bargain.  After all, we've also discussed how the Duggs made it plain their side-hugging arms'-length courtship goal, is designed specifically NOT to have the kids pine away lovesickly, because they're "not getting attached".   It hasn't worked because most girls have the seed of romantic dreamery in them; but they'd love it to work.

I remember how Jill had been prayer partnering with Derick, and told her parents she had a predicament that she though she was "in love with someone she'd not even met yet...can you take me to Nepal?"

[Malvina]

[FakeJoshDuggar]

13 hours ago, Malvina said:

Except there are historical evidence of other civilizations thriving during the period of the "biblical flood." Just because I visit the Harry Potter attraction, doesn't make Hogwarts real (as much as I'd like it to be.)

[Natalie68]

1 hour ago, FakeJoshDuggar said:

Except there are historical evidence of other civilizations thriving during the period of the "biblical flood." Just because I visit the Harry Potter attraction, doesn't make Hogwarts real (as much as I'd like it to be.)

You mean its not????  Man I would love a real Hogwarts.  

I told my husband if I am ever in the area I HAVE to see the Creation Museum or the Ark spectacle.  He asserted his headship and said no.  He takes all the fun outta life!  He figures we would get kicked out.  He's got a point.

[NewDigs]

At first I wanted to go to the Creation thingy.

but the Ark...

They have dinosaurs!

Edited August 16, 2016 by NewDigs

[riverblue22]

19 minutes ago, NewDigs said:

At first I wanted to go to the Creation thingy.

but the Ark...

They have dinosaurs!

That is so funny!  Did they also have raptors aboard?

[JoanArc]

35 minutes ago, NewDigs said:

At first I wanted to go to the Creation thingy.

but the Ark...

They have dinosaurs!

Turn them loose, Call Chris Pratt, and I'm in!

[NewDigs]

[FakeJoshDuggar]

Just adding to the what the fuckery.

[louannems]

I've been watching some Bateses' episodes.  A lot of the guys, including Gil and an in-law, wear shirts with a sea gull logo emblem.  Is that a brand?  I thought maybe it is jesus wear.

[Panders]

1 hour ago, louannems said:

I've been watching some Bateses' episodes.  A lot of the guys, including Gil and an in-law, wear shirts with a sea gull logo emblem.  Is that a brand?  I thought maybe it is jesus wear.

It's American Eagle or Hollister  - found in pretty much every mall in America and not fundie-wear

Edited August 17, 2016 by Panders

[louannems]

Thanks!  When I was in high school, there were a lot of alligator emblems on Polos!

[Sew Sumi]

Ah yes, the days of the preppy Izod. I steered far clear from that crowd! lol

[GeeGolly]

Do you ever wonder if some of the story tellers way back when dabbled in mind altering plants. and some gullible dude wrote it down as fact?

[kalamac]

On ‎16‎/‎08‎/‎2016 at 1:15 PM, Malvina said:

http://www.smbc-comics.com/?id=3572

[MargeGunderson]

Is Pris pregnant again, or just wearing an unfortunate shirt in the upper left picture? 

[Zahdii]

6 hours ago, MargeGunderson said:

Is Pris pregnant again, or just wearing an unfortunate shirt in the upper left picture? 

She's pregnant again.  About 5 months, I think.  They just released a statement saying that this time they've decided against finding out the sex of the baby in advance, because they want to be surprised. 

Poor Priss sure is fertile.  I'm positive she's only had sex three times, and she got pregnant each time.

Edited August 19, 2016 by Zahdii

[Sew Sumi]

The puppy is still alive! I so fear for it when it rains. Can't get paw prints all over Erin's Pinterest House. :(

[BitterApple]

I bet it's an outdoor dog. I've never seen pets inside the Bates home. 

[Sew Sumi]

Where will they out it in cold weather? I don't think they have a shed or even a garage. 

[Ljohnson1987]

13 minutes ago, Sew Sumi said:

Where will they out it in cold weather? I don't think they have a shed or even a garage. 

I'm sure they say it finds a nice home for the winter. AKA it runs away. Kind of like the Duggar pets. Although, I think I'd rather be a Bates' pet than a Duggars' 

[yogi2014L]

No pregnancy announcement from Michaela yet? Hasn't it been a year?

[IndianPaintbrush]

They just celebrated their one-year anniversary.  I suspect Michaela may have the same condition as Erin.  Perhaps she's had miscarriages.  They aren't saying anything, but I bet she'll have an announcement soon enough.

[BitterApple]

1 hour ago, IndianPaintbrush said:

They just celebrated their one-year anniversary.  I suspect Michaela may have the same condition as Erin.  Perhaps she's had miscarriages.  They aren't saying anything, but I bet she'll have an announcement soon enough.

I think so as well. Michael is a hard core Kool-aid drinker. There's no way she's holding off deliberately on birthing warriors for Jebus. I wonder if it's the same deal as Erin where she had to have several miscarriages before they started testing for problems.

Edited August 23, 2016 by BitterApple

[yogi2014L]

1 hour ago, BitterApple said:

I think so as well. Michael is a hard core Kool-aid drinker. There's no way she's holding off deliberately on birthing warriors for Jebus. I wonder if it's the same deal as Erin where she had to have several miscarriages before they started testing for problems.

I would hope that with Michael's family history they would test after the first. Making a woman have several miscarriages when there is a likely hereditary disease that could be causing them is terribly cruel.  :-( 

[Absolom]

2 hours ago, yogi2014L said:

I would hope that with Michael's family history they would test after the first. Making a woman have several miscarriages when there is a likely hereditary disease that could be causing them is terribly cruel.  :-( 

Any thinking OB would order the testing before more than one miscarriage.  However, the insurance companies are behind the times and some of them won't cover the testing until after the third - just blindly enforcing outdated rules.

[Love2dance]

11 minutes ago, Absolom said:

Any thinking OB would order the testing before more than one miscarriage.  However, the insurance companies are behind the times and some of them won't cover the testing until after the third - just blindly enforcing outdated rules.

That seems horribly cruel and barbaric. And I would think the medical recovery from a miscarriage could cost more than even genetic testing. ?

[Sew Sumi]

I think the recovery from a miscarriage is more emotional than physical. I had two miscarriages and D&Cs. I was back at work within days. Women get pregnant almost immediately after miscarriages all the time; isn't that Mechelle Duggar's claim with J'Caleb and the twins?