S19.E12: The Finale / S19.E13: After The Final Rose

[Padma]

Is there really anyone here who could be F1 on TB and not watch the show?  I think Whitney was smart to say it, but I don't believe it for a minute. (Plus, after her sister and friends started telling her how awful Chris was, it would only be normal to want to see for herself, to either confirm it or stick up for him.) Smart thing to tell CH, though. What's he going to do? Call her a liar?

 

Weird was how Chris ("fiancé") didn't say much on the subject himself. Nothing like others have about "we watched together every week and talked about it" (or, in their case, "We talked about it every Monday so she knew what to expect from people the next day". Nothing. Which is kind of how I see their relationship.)

 

He's said he can do DWTS because his dad is in Arlington and he's also got a "great farm manager" so he doesn't actually have to be there. I wonder "how you're gonna keep 'em down on the farm" after he's used to being a "celeb" in L.A. Personally, I'll bet he never goes back.

[saber5055]

Is there really anyone here who could be F1 on TB and not watch the show?

 

Yes. Me. I already hate how the editing monkeys jack us around and I have nothing invested in TB but my time. Which the editing monkeys and TPTB make me sorry I spend on this jackass of a show.

 

Yet there I am, every Monday night!

 

As for Chris not being on the farm ... just this week, for the first time since October 2014, temps got above freezing in Arlington and snow/ice is STARTING to melt. It will be quite a while before ground is warm enough to plant without seed rotting in cold, wet earth. Right now farmers are getting equipment tuned up, ordering seed and fertilizer and drinking lots of coffee in preparation for the real busy season, when fields are warm and dry enough to get a tractor in to start plowing.

 

Chris very well could be long-gone from DWTS by then.

 

Yeah, he could stay in LA and never go back to Arlington, but guy has got to make a paycheck somehow. Maybe he could write a book, like Sean or Harrison. If someone knows how a D-list celeb can live in expensive California w/o a job, let me know and I'll be there. Besides, in a couple of months, everyone will be all, "Chris WHO?" He's riding the wave while it lasts, which won't be that much longer for him IMO. It all makes for good stories to tell the grandkids.

 

So, Padma, I'll take that bet.

Edited March 13, 2015 by saber5055

[Shugardrawers]

I was about to quote your post for the mention of Britt's annoying hair whipping before I even read the rest. We must be kindred spirits! ;) BTW, I suggest you avoid seeing the new Bachelorettes on Jimmy Kimmel. The hair was flying all over the place. I so cannot take a whole season of that. TPTB should force her to tie her hair back.

 

Anyway, I agree about Chris with Becca. He was so comfortable and present with her. No thinking of fairies and unicorns. And like JudyObscure said, he really appreciated her sense of humour. I think that's probably one of the things he most misses about her. I too am sad that most of Becca's humour ended up on the cutting room floor. I can only imagine it is because it didn't consist of snarking on other contestants. But I read her SM sometimes, and she just cracks me up. My kind of girl.

 

What's an SM?

[archer1267]

Shugardrawers, I think that means "social media."

 

ETA:

 

I wonder "how you're gonna keep 'em down on the farm" after he's used to being a "celeb" in L.A. Personally, I'll bet he never goes back.

 

Hollywood is littered with reality show stars who thought they could parlay their stint on a popular show into a lasting career. Elisabeth Filarski (Survivor) pops into my mind as one of the only ones with any lasting success. I think Charlie from Trista's season had a brief Hollywood reporting gig after the show, but it was short-lived. The couple from Outback Jack (I'm dating myself!) got married and tried to break into the industry, but eventually moved to her hometown in Kentucky, and now he's a police officer.

 

The only answer is to do more reality shows - DWTS, maybe a stint on Marriage Boot Camp down the road, Celebrity Apprentice, what have you. I think Chris' lack of a fairytale ending makes it even more of an uphill battle. It's clear from message boards (IMDB, People, US Weekly) that many don't buy that Whitney was Chris' first choice, or that she'll move to Iowa and this will be for keeps. If they were a couple that people loved and rallied around, it might be a different story….but still a stretch.

Edited March 14, 2015 by archer1267

[Shugardrawers]

Thanks Archer!  I read this weeks People interview with them and I'm a little more encouraged but not much.

[saber5055]

Thinking about F1 watching the season of TB: Does anyone really want to see a video of your spouse's (or SO's) dating life, complete with intimate "alone" time, that happened before you got together? Or film of whom he or she was cheating on you with during your dating time? You either are hurt, upset or find out he/she is a flaming liar about so many things. At least on TB, Whitney heard about other dates, knew the date-ees, and watched Andi's season so knows all the macking and "I'm falling for you" that goes on. No way, if I were F1, would I want to actually SEE it any more than I'd want to see my partner's previous dating life on teevee.

 

Is there a link somewhere that Whitney's sister/friends hate Chris? Please post!

[awaken]

Meh.  I was not moved at all by the finale.  I felt nothing.  I see Chris and Whitney as possibly a couple who could reasonably be dating at this point, but actually being engaged and thinking of getting married, and "making babies", no where close.  And I could have equally seen him at the dating point with Becca.  I didn't see anything deeper or more special with one over the other.  Becca was totally normal in that she wasn't going to sing of her love from the rooftops and commit to marrying someone she was just in the process of getting to know.  

 

And whitney saying she could be a nurse anywhere.  Theoretically true, but with the specialized type of career that she has, she'll either have a very long commute to find something similar, have to give it up, or take a very different type of nursing position closer to home.  So if she does move to Arlington it will mean giving up a huge part of her life.

 

I would love to see her more natural as well.  Normal hair color, lip color, and normal clothes.  The white blond hair, frosted pink lips, and super tight short dress was not a good look on her.  

[saber5055]

I completely forgot this scene until this morning. I thought it was really odd that out of all the footage of Becca meeting Chris's parents, they chose to show Mom's Italian Greyhound dog slinking out of the room, away from Becca, looking over its shoulder with an expression of "Get her away from me."

 

During Whitney's visit the dog was shown snuggling against Mom on the couch, then not again.

 

Editing monkeys.

[Padma]

I just saw the whole thing and will never not find it weird how one moment the Bach is heartbroken that he has to say goodbye to this woman he has "fallen in love with" and the next minute--literally--he's telling someone else he's in love with her, wants to be with her and her alone forever and...will she marry him?

 

Maybe I'm jaded because I've been in love a couple of times, but never several times at once. One of the big clues was how I felt when I was away from him. I thought Becca seemed kind of like she was at that point, but then she wasn't jealous of Whitney (another thing I don't understand is how F2 rarely seem to think the other woman is any competition, aren't jealous, don't even consider he might choose HER instead). And at ATFR, where she -could- have shown how much she had missed Chris, she was more like, "Chris? Oh, yes. I met him on that reality show. Nice guy. Oh, you mean Chris Soules? Yeah, he was a great guy, too."  Chris might have been put off after the initial one-on-one, by Whitney's drive and determination to marry him, but I would think Becca's emotional detachment would be much worse.

 

Maybe Whitney will meet a nice guy while in L.A. for Chris' appearances on DWTS. Because while he may be her dream man (in her imagination), he's probably more likely to wind up with Previous Girlfriend (didn't she want to be in L.A.?) than with Whitney. But she deserves better anyway than an inarticulate dullard who has to talk himself into it (with help from family and friends). Becca was actually the one who was at the same point he was "let's date and see where it goes". He should have chosen her and foregone the proposal just as others have in the past. He wouldn't have been the first (hopefully could have improved on Jesse Palmer's plane ticket to "come visit me in NY" though.)

[himela]

Chris was expected by his family and by the audience to choose Whitney and have a romantic proposal and that's what he did cause Chris is not the smartest guy in the world and both his family and how he is perceived matter to him a lot. If Chris could have chosen undistracted he would have chosen Becca and started dating her long distance and later they'd find a way to be together OR he would have chosen none of the two and would have stayed single until he would meet a nice lady whose personality, morals and lifestyle are closer to his. And I predict that this is what will happen after Whitney breaks up with him. He will meet his future wife on a Sunday at a picnic with his family and they'll live happily everafter and we shall never hear about them again. (I watch too many romantic movies :P)

[Fake Britt]

Here's a two part interview with Becca on San Diego TV:

 

Part 1:  http://www.kusi.com/story/28493415/part-1-becca-tilley-from-the-bachelor-tells-all

 

Part 2:  http://www.kusi.com/story/28493412/part-2-becca-tilley-from-the-bachelor-answers-fan-questions

 

She says that she wouldn't have gone on the show if the Bachelor hadn't have been Chris. 

 

[atlanticslide]

And whitney saying she could be a nurse anywhere.  Theoretically true, but with the specialized type of career that she has, she'll either have a very long commute to find something similar, have to give it up, or take a very different type of nursing position closer to home.  So if she does move to Arlington it will mean giving up a huge part of her life.

That, and there's also the fact that just because you can be a nurse anywhere doesn't mean "anywhere" needs you. I have no idea what the demand for nurses in Northwest Iowa (or wherever Arlington is) is like at the moment, but in this economy you can never just assume that "I can get a job wherever I want!"

[Fable]

That, and there's also the fact that just because you can be a nurse anywhere doesn't mean "anywhere" needs you. I have no idea what the demand for nurses in Northwest Iowa (or wherever Arlington is) is like at the moment, but in this economy you can never just assume that "I can get a job wherever I want!"

 

I don't know, nursing is a tough gig and pretty thankless, so there is usually a huge demand for them.  She may not be able to get a job in fertility anywhere nearby (unless she gets a job working with animals, which I actually don't find ridiculous, with maybe some extra schooling, or not), but if she has her 4-year degree in a nursing program, yeah, essentially she could work as a nurse anywhere, even as a school nurse in a nearby community. 

[Fake Britt]

Yep, I thought it was kind of cool that Chris mentioned how funny Becca was over and over. According to the self-help books like "The Rules," men don't like funny women, but Chris really responded to it. If the show hadn't already designated Kaitlyn as "the funny one," and Becca as "the virgin," I think we would have had a chance to see more of Becca's humor. She had Chris's family practically rolling on the floor and the little bits I heard were funnier to me than Kaitlyn's jokes which were usually a little too crass for my taste.

 

Funny you should mention The Rules.  I've been thinking that Becca has been a flawless Rules practitioner during the whole season.  Who knows if she's read the book, learned the lessons at her mother's, grandmothers' or aunts' knees, or if she's just that way, but she's awfully good. 

 

I'm familiar with The Rules books, can't remember all the rules, and disagree with some of them.  Two  women besides Becca who make me think of the rules are Tina Fabulous, and Helene Eksterowicz (season 2 with Aaron). 

 

According to The Rules, a woman should be "easy to be with," and a large part of that is having a good sense of humor as exemplified by Becca.  OTOH, men see wisecracking Kaitlyn as being in the friend zone, rather than as a romantic prospect.

 

And then we have Whitney.  She kept reminding me of Charlotte Lucas, Elizabeth Bennett's close friend in Pride and Prejudice.  Although their motivating circumstances differ, they are both very practical women for whom marriage is a means to an end; for Charlotte the goal is economic security, and for Whitney it's a husband, children, and extended family.  Although desirable, a love match isn't essential.

 

Whitney did a pretty good job of telegraphing her desperation, which is the direct opposite of what The Rules advises.  She really laid it on too thick, and tried too hard.  BTW, when Whitney and Chris were admiring the wall during their 1-on-1 in Des Moines, Chris did a VO at one point that stopped me in my tracks.  I'll have to rewatch it because I can't remember for sure if he said "she" or "Whitney" "makes me want to be a better man."  I thought to myself, "Wait, shouldn't he be saying that about Becca?," and I wondered if he really did, and the editors inserted the quote to be about Whitney on purpose.  This is the type of reaction that a woman who practices the Rules (knowingly or not) elicits from a man who's responsive to them. 

 

Which brings us to Chris: what kind of man does he want to be?  Does he want to be the head of a family with a wife who lets him be the man (the rules Becca), or will he settle for a bottle of whiskey and a wife who wears the Pants and gives him the "skinny eyes" (non-rules Whitney)? 

 

Time to feed the cat, and then to bed.

[JudyObscure]

According to The Rules, a woman should be "easy to be with," and a large part of that is having a good sense of humor as exemplified by Becca. OTOH, men see wisecracking Kaitlyn as being in the friend zone, rather than as a romantic prospect.

I loved your whole post, Fake Britt, particularly this. My husband and I laughed till we cried on our first date and still are laughing every day, but neither of us are in the habit of telling prepared jokes, which tend to fall flat as often as not -- see Kaitlyn with the group on the first episode.

Whitney as Charlotte is perfect! Just another reason for me to believe, if she can get Chris to the altar, she'll make a go of it if she has to put herself in a separate part of the house for most of the day.

[FireFoxy]

Funny you should mention The Rules.  I've been thinking that Becca has been a flawless Rules practitioner during the whole season.  Who knows if she's read the book, learned the lessons at her mother's, grandmothers' or aunts' knees, or if she's just that way, but she's awfully good. 

 

I'm familiar with The Rules books, can't remember all the rules, and disagree with some of them.  Two  women besides Becca who make me think of the rules are Tina Fabulous, and Helene Eksterowicz (season 2 with Aaron). 

 

According to The Rules, a woman should be "easy to be with," and a large part of that is having a good sense of humor as exemplified by Becca.  OTOH, men see wisecracking Kaitlyn as being in the friend zone, rather than as a romantic prospect.

 

And then we have Whitney.  She kept reminding me of Charlotte Lucas, Elizabeth Bennett's close friend in Pride and Prejudice.  Although their motivating circumstances differ, they are both very practical women for whom marriage is a means to an end; for Charlotte the goal is economic security, and for Whitney it's a husband, children, and extended family.  Although desirable, a love match isn't essential.

 

Whitney did a pretty good job of telegraphing her desperation, which is the direct opposite of what The Rules advises.  She really laid it on too thick, and tried too hard.  BTW, when Whitney and Chris were admiring the wall during their 1-on-1 in Des Moines, Chris did a VO at one point that stopped me in my tracks.  I'll have to rewatch it because I can't remember for sure if he said "she" or "Whitney" "makes me want to be a better man."  I thought to myself, "Wait, shouldn't he be saying that about Becca?," and I wondered if he really did, and the editors inserted the quote to be about Whitney on purpose.  This is the type of reaction that a woman who practices the Rules (knowingly or not) elicits from a man who's responsive to them. 

 

Which brings us to Chris: what kind of man does he want to be?  Does he want to be the head of a family with a wife who lets him be the man (the rules Becca), or will he settle for a bottle of whiskey and a wife who wears the Pants and gives him the "skinny eyes" (non-rules Whitney)? 

 

Time to feed the cat, and then to bed.

 

That's pretty on point. Other contestants that remind me of The Rules are Tessa and Emily. Tessa was really genuine about it and actually made Andy chase her but Emily did it more to project a certain image and build a brand which is why she went on the show in the first place. Both played the game perfectly and "won". But yeah, it's 2015 and a lot of men don't really fall into TR categories anymore. I can actually see Kaitlyn finding someone to at least try it out with. Jillian reminds me of a lot of her and she had a lot of the men from her season eating out of the palm of her hand by the end. Sometimes you really do want to find someone that makes you laugh. Chasing gets exhausting after a while.

[archer1267]

I would love to see her more natural as well.  Normal hair color, lip color, and normal clothes.  The white blond hair, frosted pink lips, and super tight short dress was not a good look on her.

 

 

I don't know…based on this older pic (scroll about one-third down the page) I think Whitney looks better with her current shade. 

 

I cracked up when Whitney needed help walking on their 1:1 at the winery - her heels weren't the right thing for trodding through the grass. She'd better get used to sensible footwear if she's serious about living on a farm.

[saber5055]

Whitney as Charlotte is perfect! Just another reason for me to believe, if she can get Chris to the altar, she'll make a go of it if she has to put herself in a separate part of the house for most of the day.

 

 

Hooray to this, a stark contrast to people who give up on marriage on a whim, like marriage is suppose to be easy or something. It's "for better or worse." It's just that these days, everyone wants the better and quits when it's the worse. If Whitney appears desperate for marriage/kids, then good on her. She's a nice match for a conservative Iowa farmer who has no access to much of a social scene. It's not like Chris can cheat on his wife with some woman he meets at work.

 

ETA: To Mu Shu, I thought of you yesterday when I drove past the exit for FARMINGTON. Yes, there really is a real town named that. Not to be confused with ARLINGTON, of course.

Edited March 16, 2015 by saber5055

[Lamb18]

Not Farmington, MN by any chance? That's my neck of the woods!

[saber5055]

No, sorry Lamb. Farmington, Illinois. Farmington must be like Springfield (The Simpsons) ... there is one everywhere!

[caligirl50]

See I like Whitney with brown hair...she doesn't have any make-up on in that picture but with the right make-up, she'd look great!

[Fake Britt]

'I'm not afraid to get my hands dirty': Bachelor winner Whitney Bischoff gears up for life on the farm with fiancé Chris Soules

 

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2989963/Bachelor-winner-Whitney-Bischoff-gears-life-farm-fianc-Chris-Soules.html

 

 

She can help me get organized, but if that doesn't work out, she can always milk the goat..

 

 

[Fake Britt]

I was about to quote your post for the mention of Britt's annoying hair whipping before I even read the rest. We must be kindred spirits! ;)

 

 

 

Apparently, we are!  lol

 

Anyway, I agree about Chris with Becca. He was so comfortable and present with her. No thinking of fairies and unicorns. And like JudyObscure said, he really appreciated her sense of humour. I think that's probably one of the things he most misses about her. I too am sad that most of Becca's humour ended up on the cutting room floor. I can only imagine it is because it didn't consist of snarking on other contestants. But I read her SM sometimes, and she just cracks me up. My kind of girl.

 

 

Chris was really himself when he was with her.  (No thinking about OPI nail polish shade "I'm Not Really a Waitress" either!)  As they were sitting in the grass drinking wine during their first one-on-one date, I said to myself, "Oh, he talks!"  He even let himself be vulnerable as he expressed his fear regarding whether or not Becca would like the date.  Once again, Becca did the Rules.  Of course we all know about TPTB, but there's a Rule that states something like when you praise the date in a natural (not going overboard) way, men see it as approval of themselves, which bolsters their confidence in a positive way.  They'll be looking to date you again.  IIRC, Becca said, "This is perfect," in a very natural way.

 

Becca's warm, sincere and encouraging praise; her delight in his surprises (the ferris wheel ride); her following his lead; her sense of humor; her respect of him as well as herself; her easy grace; her sparkling eyes and ready smile; her self control and common sense - these are the things Chris can't help but miss about her.  He can say that Whitney is everything he's ever wanted 'til he's blue in the face, BUT Becca is his dreamgirl.  And it says a lot about him as a man that he'll put that aside and go for the sure thing rather than rise to the challenge of doing whatever it takes to win Becca's heart.  I'm virtually certain that he's never met a woman like Becca, and the memory of her will gnaw at him after DWTS is done, and he goes back home to face the corn.  That's the difference between Chris Soules and Chris Siegfried.  The latter Chris hoped the Bachelorette he'd meet would be Des, and once he met her, he became a man on a mission to win her heart, and win it he did.  Siegfried had what it took, and Soules looks pretty damn puny in comparison.

 

There's also a book by a woman named Pat Allen (can't remember the title), and in it there's something she describes as "The Eight Week Wait."  After a breakup, a woman should go forward with her own life, and at around the 8 week mark (more or less) the loss will hit a guy like a ton of bricks.  Then the woman can decide whether or not to take him back.  As time passes, a woman will feel less, but the man can stay busy for only so long and will tend to feel more.  I want to see what will happen 8 weeks  after his DWTS run and close quarters with Whitney!  lol

 

 I wish they did show more of Becca and her humor, and I'm glad I've been reading her SM like you did.

 

Wow, look at the time!  Nighty night.           

[Mu Shu]

I don't put much stock in a book from the nineties that was sort if a joke then, and I think Becca was just dull

[ByTor]

More than one of the women in the house spoke of how funny & nice Becca is.  As many thought Carly got the "mean" edit (my problem with that being that it wasn't just her being nasty behind others' backs, but that she was willing to say what she said in THs), I think Becca got the "dull" edit.

Edited March 17, 2015 by ByTor

[MakeMeLaugh]

Becca (adore her--even though DH would leave me for her in a NY minute) made me think of another book, "He's Not That into You." In this case, she was not into him romantically. Doubt she would have accepted a proposal.

[saber5055]

She can help me get organized, but if that doesn't work out, she can always milk the goat..

 

 

I read the article but did not see that quote. Chris's family doesn't have goats or cows, unless they were kept secret. But there's sure big positives for having milk goats. I milked a dairy herd for years and there's nothing better than fresh milk, and making your own cheese and puddings. Plus, milking is a very zen time, a peaceful and inward-thinking time. So if they don't have goats, they should get one. Cows give WAY too much milk (average 5 gallons per day), although once they have five kids a cow could work well.

Edited March 17, 2015 by saber5055

[Lamb18]

There's always Juan(ita) from Jimmy Kimmel; she looked like a little Holstein.

[saber5055]

There's always Juan(ita) from Jimmy Kimmel; she looked like a little Holstein.

 

 

Oh gosh, that's right. The Soules DO have a milk cow! So there should be plenty of milk next year courtesy of Juan(ita) Pabla. Good catch, Lamb! Ess okay now!

[violetr]

There's also a book by a woman named Pat Allen (can't remember the title), and in it there's something she describes as "The Eight Week Wait."  After a breakup, a woman should go forward with her own life, and at around the 8 week mark (more or less) the loss will hit a guy like a ton of bricks.

 

 

As a general rule I loathe self-help and dating advice books because I think they're mostly money-making ventures that try to put human behavior into neat, unnuanced little boxes, but even I have to admit that in my experience there's some truth to this. It's almost like men have some sixth sense where they can detect the exact minute you're over them. That's when they start calling and wanting to see you again - once you've moved on.

The difference here is that final rose ceremony aside, Chris was essentially the dumpee and Becca was the dumper. He can't have that "aha!" moment over Becca since he was never not into her, but he might have one with Whitney, as in "Aha! I just now realized I made a life committment to my consolation prize!"

[Padma]

I don't put much stock in a book from the nineties that was sort if a joke then, and I think Becca was just dull

That's how I see both of them, too. Becca seems perfectly pleasant and even keel but lacked any kind of emotional intensity about anything. So placid. Probably very relaxing for Chris, unless she found -him- boring, too. She just seemed so passionless about everything--Chris, the adventure on the show, Bali, her career...every reaction was so bland and flat. Just like Arlington, it seemed, so it's too bad she wasn't attracted to that life.

 

Whitney, on the other hand, is very emotional and very driven. I think she would have made life in Arlington work for her, Chris and the four children, but I doubt she'll get the chance.

[Fake Britt]

Becca (adore her--even though DH would leave me for her in a NY minute) made me think of another book, "He's Not That into You." In this case, she was not into him romantically. Doubt she would have accepted a proposal.

 

Yes, another very good read.  IMO, Becca was really really into Chris romantically.  She told his mom, "I'm crazy about him!"  But her big message to Chris was, "I need more time," and his message to her was, "I want what I want right now, and I'm not willing to risk not having it."  She couldn't compromise with him and be authentic, and he wouldn't compromise with her.  As a result, he'll find out that his sure thing isn't.  Well, no guts no glory, as they say.

 

I agree that she wouldn't have accepted a proposal, but it was due to the fact that she needed more time.  Many women do.  I don't think he was ready either.  He wasn't ready to cherish her by making sure she has what she needs.  ATFR, couples have a better chance of making it if they're in the same town.  Catherine moved to Texas, Des moved to Seattle.  Long distance relationships are tough, and that seemed to be one of the main points that Mrs. Soules was trying to get across in her talk with Becca.  However, I see Becca's point about not being in love with Chris (she added "yet"), and therefore not being ready to uproot her whole life.  I think she made the right decision. 

[ByTor]

 She couldn't compromise with him and be authentic, and he wouldn't compromise with her. 

Maybe I'm misreading, but I thought Becca was very authentic.

Edited March 19, 2015 by ByTor

[Fake Britt]

Maybe I'm misreading, but I thought Becca was very authentic.

 

Yes, she was.  She had an either/or choice, and she chose authenticity rather than compromise.  Chris' choice was of a different kind.  He could have compromised with his integrity intact, but he chose not to. 

[Fake Britt]

As a general rule I loathe self-help and dating advice books because I think they're mostly money-making ventures that try to put human behavior into neat, unnuanced little boxes, but even I have to admit that in my experience there's some truth to this. It's almost like men have some sixth sense where they can detect the exact minute you're over them. That's when they start calling and wanting to see you again - once you've moved on.

 

 

Yeah, isn't that something!  And the women I've known were completely over them, or met someone else, or went back and then left because they saw that the men hadn't really changed.  I can't think of even one where a reunion worked out.

 

 

The difference here is that final rose ceremony aside, Chris was essentially the dumpee and Becca was the dumper. He can't have that "aha!" moment over Becca since he was never not into her, but he might have one with Whitney, as in "Aha! I just now realized I made a life committment to my consolation prize!"

 

 

Marriage and children have intrinsic value, i.e., they're valuable in themselves, so how about "Aha! I just now realized that family life isn't happy unless you share it with the right person." 

 

Sometimes it's just better to be alone.

[Fake Britt]

I read the article but did not see that quote.

 

That was just me being silly because I had read somewhere that Chris may move to Chicago - as if that's an option he's really considering.  That may be totally made up, but I'd be amazed if Whitney is really considering giving up nursing to work on the family farm.

 

Chris's family doesn't have goats or cows, unless they were kept secret. But there's sure big positives for having milk goats. I milked a dairy herd for years and there's nothing better than fresh milk, and making your own cheese and puddings. Plus, milking is a very zen time, a peaceful and inward-thinking time. So if they don't have goats, they should get one. Cows give WAY too much milk (average 5 gallons per day), although once they have five kids a cow could work well.

 

 

I've really enjoyed and looked forward to your farm commentaries.  They added a dimension to this Bachelor series that I would not have had otherwise.  Thanks.  :-)

 

Once upon a time, I rode through Iowa and Nebraska on Amtrack (among other states), and the land is one of the most beautiful areas in the whole country.  Farming is a hard life, especially due to the farmers' dependency on the forces of nature.  My hat is off to them. 

 

Now I want to go off and milk a cow!  :-)

[Fake Britt]

I can actually see Kaitlyn finding someone to at least try it out with. Jillian reminds me of a lot of her and she had a lot of the men from her season eating out of the palm of her hand by the end. Sometimes you really do want to find someone that makes you laugh. Chasing gets exhausting after a while.

 

I missed Tessa and Jillian, among others, because I got so fed up with TPTB picking leads that were clearly not interested in finding someone that I just tuned out.  Emily, I did not like.  I agree about Kaitlyn that she'd be a lot of fun and give it an honest go.  Which brings me to another Rules-wise point.

 

Men like fun.  A woman who is a bit of a challenge, light and breezy, easy to be with, and has a good sense of humor is a fun woman, and the times they have with her are enjoyable.  This is very good, especially at the start of a relationship.  Drama is not good.  Drama is work.  You don't tell a man serious stuff at the beginning of a relationship because it takes a man a while to get to know a woman and become emotionally invested in her.  Drama makes for interesting trainwreck TV, but not for a budding relationship.

 

Remember when Sharleen kept on saying "organic" this and that?  I think I finally understand that it means something should come forth as part of a progression from something else.  Like there are right times and right stages in a relationship when different things naturally flow.  Here are examples of inorganic behavior:

 

Ashley I's reveal to Chris that she's a virgin - TMI

Juellia's reveal to Chris regarding her husband's death - TMI

Kelsey's reveal to Chris regarding her husband's death - TMI

 

OTOH, Whitney's telling Chris about her basic family situation was organic because they were facing hometown dates next.

Becca's telling Chris that she is a virgin was organic because they were facing the situation of spending that night together.  However, if I were in her shoes, I would have told Chris right after the card was read.  I thought that was something Sean handled very well.

 

Ashley S' pomegranite (sp?) was very organic (or so I read).  :-)

 

Perfect example of telling a man what to do (aka "acting like his mother"):  Britt's scolding Chris regarding "encouraging Kaitlyn's behavior."  NEVER tell a man what to do! 

[ByTor]

Yes, she was.  She had an either/or choice, and she chose authenticity rather than compromise.  Chris' choice was of a different kind.  He could have compromised with his integrity intact, but he chose not to.

Thanks for clarifying, although after rereading your original comment I don't know how I misunderstood (big duh to me!) :)