S10.E05: Wedding Prep and Pies

[ginger90]

 I don't understand the whole "expectations ruins relationships" line. It's normal to have expectations for your partner and your relationship.

If you don't have expectations, you can't be disappointed. Yup, heard that in marriage counseling about 20 years ago. Not church affiliated, by the way. Didn't agree then, don't agree now!

[Wellfleet]

If you don't have expectations, you can't be disappointed. Yup, heard that in marriage counseling about 20 years ago. Not church affiliated, by the way. Didn't agree then, don't agree now!

 

Something tells me "Gothard men" - for lack of a better term - ARE allowed to have expectations however. For example, I'm sure every single one expects that his wife will want to have sex with him. However and whenever he wants it. I'm guessing the men are told all kinds of things they should be expecting from marriage - and women. And that only women are told that "expectations ruin relationships." I think they basically get a lot of "whatever happens to you ladies, just deal with it..."

[Darknight]

It's sad how they treat women like trash. If a wife says no not today then it's her right. I hope these boys know when a girl says no its no. If he still forces her it's called rape even in marriage

[Emme]

OMG - Did James and Jason add a subliminal Blow Job message to one of those "pies"???

[Itsnotreality]

Serious question. Is that "look" of adorement something required/taught? Not saying some of it is not their genuine feeling... Just seems it must come partially from some expectation of "reverence" towards your husband.

[Absolom]

Some IFB churches teach it.  The one near me has a whole class for women in how to treat and respect their husbands and includes the look and never correcting him.

[Marigold]

"the look" is not taught like "look at your husband like a sick cow"

But it is taught to look at your husband with respect when he speaks. Look with love and appreciation. Hence the sick cow look.

I cannot remember the name of the book...Created to Be His Helpmate by that Pearle wife? That books talks all about it. I read it when we attended IFB churches.

It's that whole theory..blah blab.

[woodscommaelle]

 I used to love Michelle but the more I read about her & "blanket training", I see a different side to her. It's like they stifle the kids feelings & don't ever let them be angry or have emotions other than being sweet. Nothing wrong with being happy but everyone needs to have a spectrum of emotions. Read up on her training & beliefs & you might see it differently now too.

I don't think we have the problem here of anyone who 'used' to like Michelle and now they don't. :)

[Itsnotreality]

Thanks Marigold & Absolom. So I guess the wives who regularly look at their husbands with that look are model wives?

Maybe partly why the Jessa-Ben relationship seems more genuine?

[Absolom]

That's an interesting theory.  Remember Michelle giving Jessa relationship lessons?  Maybe she included the adoring look in there with speaking his love language.  Perhaps she thought Jill didn't need as much tutoring.

[Marigold]

Oh I'm sure those girls are well trained for a long time on how to look at a husband with respect and love. And they see it in their home and in their circle of friends so it's part of their cultural body language or whatever you want to call it.

Priscilla does it. Does Guinn? I haven't noticed. Does Anna's mom? I never noticed that either.

[hwarner]

I remember reading about their views of husband/wife duties a couple of years ago. They have booklets that they have to complete. The booklets basically tell the wife that she must submit to her husband in every way and it mentions that a wife must look "admiringly" at her husband when he speaks to others. Just Google "IBLP seven basic needs of a husband." IBLP is the Institute of Basic Life Principles (created by Bill Gothard) that the Duggars follow. It is fairly easy to find a pdf copy out there in cyber space!

[Absolom]

Guin may not do the look as they were Vision Forum rather than ATI.  I don't remember her looking so odd.

[Itsnotreality]

I remember reading about their views of husband/wife duties a couple of years ago. They have booklets that they have to complete. The booklets basically tell the wife that she must submit to her husband in every way and it mentions that a wife must look "admiringly" at her husband when he speaks to others. Just Google "IBLP seven basic needs of a husband." IBLP is the Institute of Basic Life Principles (created by Bill Gothard) that the Duggars follow. It is fairly easy to find a pdf copy out there in cyber space!

Whoah. Yup. I think that explains a lot. And definitely makes me think that somehow, Jessa and Ben do seem to have a relationship that is different from all the other couples. And after reading that I'm actually shocked at how different they seem to be together. I wonder if JB is looking for his daughters to agree with this philosophy as much as the so called appropriate match. I don't think Jessa was going to be agreeing with most of those "7 needs" no matter how long an engagement was put off.

[Marigold]

yeah, Guin looks interested but not nuts. Guin has got a better look going!

The Gothard look makes the wives look a bit unbalanced. Jessa does it the best though because it looks somewhat sincere. I think she really loves that dopey Ben! Anna has toned it down lately. Maybe she noticed that it is really weird in DC.

[lookeyloo]

Those seven needs are quite horrifying.  Seems like a female with any "spunk" at all will have to push it way down to adhere.  Or learn how to manipulate, or really "fake it" on so many levels.  And what kind of man wants a woman who adheres?  Michelle has even made some disparaging remarks to the camera when JB came up with his scheme to have a farm.  Disturbing for sure.

[leighroda]

I'm a little late to the party, but the floral lesson infuriates me... To march in and expect someone who has worked long and hard on a craft, that is their livelihood, how they feed their families... To teach you in one afternoon how to do their job so you *wont* need to actually hire them... Seriously!? I totally get that they are comped and whatnot, but still, the audacity bothers me. When my best friend got married we were able to rent a room at the florist, where we made the buquet for her wedding with the help of a florist... But the forest was still paid for that (it was a service they provided) but we were also adults, not indentured servants. Maybe they should take one of the kids to go watch a lawyer, or a doctor, or a teacher for a day so they will competently know how to do their jobs.

[Sew Sumi]

Thanks Marigold & Absolom. So I guess the wives who regularly look at their husbands with that look are model wives?

Maybe partly why the Jessa-Ben relationship seems more genuine?

Jessa is giving Ben the "sick cow" look these days (and I think she did so in TH segments we've seen since the engagement). Yes, they totally broke her. 

Edited March 6, 2015 by Sew Sumi

[DangerousMinds]

It seems to me that both men and women in the fundie lifestyle have lots of expectations of one another, even far more than "mainstream" couples.

[WalrusGirl]

So Jinger meets Ben at the jeweler by herself? You only need a chaperone if you're dating? Why not just say you're not dating and then you can be alone.

If they were being filmed (and I haven't watched the ep yet due to a DVR snafu), then the crew can be chaperones. We saw that when Jessa went to visit Ben's family at one point and the two of them were filmed alone on the porch swing - but of course, the camera and sound guys were there to film them, and Jessa made a comment like, "bet you never thought you'd be my chaperone, So And So." Sounded like, at least in some circumstances (like the Duggars not having one of their own available), the crew was acceptable enough.

No idea if they do require chaperones for the equivalent of in-laws - in a lot of religious cultures, they don't want either partner to be alone with a non-family member of the opposite sex, or if alone-in-public-with-strangers is different than alone-alone (which I'm sure they'd aim to avoid). But if the film crew was there, versus a camera mounted on a car's dashboard, then they weren't un-chaperoned.

Thanks Marigold & Absolom. So I guess the wives who regularly look at their husbands with that look are model wives?

Maybe partly why the Jessa-Ben relationship seems more genuine?

Jessa is giving Ben the "sick cow" look these days (and I think she did so in TH segments we've seen since the engagement). Yes, they totally broke her.

I'm guessing that Jessa wouldn't bother to fake it so well if she didn't really feel in love with him, especially not in the post-wedding clips we see (like the renovated house tour, etc). Especially not in private if she wasn't really feeling it.

To me they seem more genuine because they're so much more familiar with one another - they legitimately really know and like the other. Whereas I don't question Jill's feelings for Derick, but they read as more superficial/infatuation and less mature, even though they're older. Part of it is Jill's way, but they also just haven't had as much time to breed that familiarity.

[Mrsjumbo]

yeah, Guin looks interested but not nuts. Guin has got a better look going!

The Gothard look makes the wives look a bit unbalanced. Jessa does it the best though because it looks somewhat sincere. I think she really loves that dopey Ben! Anna has toned it down lately. Maybe she noticed that it is really weird in DC.

Honestly, when Anna first married Smug she looked at him that way- & I thought she looked certifiably insane! Her eyes looked like they were going to pop out of her head & she had this stupid grin on her face.

[WalrusGirl]

Ha, finally recorded Friday night's repeat - I also laughed at Jessa doing her nails while her sisters got the littles dressed! Reminded me of Jinger and Joy, I think?, taking over some of Jessa and Jill's "jurisdictions" once they were courting (like Jinger taking over the packing for Jessa once she was courting Ben). I really think their "jobs" officially shift to focusing on their relationship (and by extension, personal upkeep like nails?) and they're off the hook for their old jobs around the house! Because no one was giving her the side-eye.

I will defend her on the flowers thing... I'm 10 years older than she is and just not interested. I can pick out a few of the most basic, but only retained one new addition to my mental catalog from bouquet-shopping as a bridesmaid. When you just aren't interested, even the flowers that are identified for you don't easily get dedicated to memory. (And I've tried and failed to at least identify and remember the ones I'm allergic to, but darned if I could pick them out of a line-up. I'm doing well to remember the names, not what they look like. I only realize that, say, a hydrangea must be present when I quickly start to feel like crap.)

So maybe she should bring Ben some flower candidate samples to see if any make his allergies flare up! (Because I'm rather certain he wouldn't even have occasion to know the list of flowers that would give him problems.)

But she did make it hard on the florist by not giving them anywhere to start in terms of showing her things she'd like - she knew the colors she wanted in her talking head, and her wedding colors, so just responding with "these colors, or colors that will look good with the color of the bridesmaid dresses" would have been a perfectly normal, helpful place to start.

Edited March 7, 2015 by WalrusGirl

[Shugardrawers]

To me they seem more genuine because they're so much more familiar with one another - they legitimately really know and like the other. Whereas I don't question Jill's feelings for Derick, but they read as more superficial/infatuation and less mature, even though they're older. Part of it is Jill's way, but they also just haven't had as much time to breed that familiarity.

 

Well they certainly have had time to breed something!

[DangerousMinds]

Hundreds of people for the rehearsal dinner?

[SpaghettiTuesdays]

Is it just me or does Ben look better wearing glasses? I will say that Jessa`s siblings, especially the younger ones, seem to like Ben a great deal.

It makes me wonder how much he misses his own family. He is the oldest of 7, IIRC, and it seems his family is closer than the Duggars, not like it's that difficult, but you know what I mean. I wonder if he misses his siblings. I bet he does.

[Barb23]

Little off topic here... when they showed Josh eating his egg before they went to the music store, why is he sitting at the kid's table? Why can't they invest in a kitchen table set? They can still keep the kid's table. This gets on my nerves every time they show their kitchen. Also noticed the paper plates & plastic cutlery. They could save the money they spend in disposable plates & cutlery & buy a kitchen table.

[floridamom]

As far as I know, rehearsal dinners are pretty much universally the same in this country...it is for the bride, groom, their bridal party, the parents, and siblings and spouses..very close family only...it shouldn't ever get in to the hundreds...It's an intimate time for everyone to be able to have some time together before the wedding...right? Why would hundreds of people be at the rehearsal anyway? It's not for guests who will show up the next day.

[Wellfleet]

As far as I know, rehearsal dinners are pretty much universally the same in this country...it is for the bride, groom, their bridal party, the parents, and siblings and spouses..very close family only...it shouldn't ever get in to the hundreds...It's an intimate time for everyone to be able to have some time together before the wedding...right? Why would hundreds of people be at the rehearsal anyway? It's not for guests who will show up the next day.

 

This is what I've always thought as well. Rehearsals are thrown by the groom's family and are normally quite small, including ONLY the wedding party, parents, grandparents, siblings of the bride and groom. Plus all applicable spouses and significant others for that group. Here in the Northeast it's become fairly traditional to include anyone who has already arrived from out-of-town - if the wedding party is aware of that fact. Although at my brother's wedding that amounted to only one couple. We also had the priest who performed the ceremony since he was a good friend of the family - and a really fun person. I've personally never been to any rehearsal dinner that included more than 25 people, but then we tend to have small wedding parties in our family, only a few bridesmaids/ushers. 

[floridamom]

Thanks, Wellfleet for supporting my belief about rehearsal dinners...having said that..

 

.Something else I wonder about these groups of people.They seem to want to do everything on the "cheap". Keeping in mind the Keller daughters had a much better reception, but since it's "simple all the way" their receptions also mimic a short and sweet time; it an hours maybe two hours tops...VERY light snack foods, MAYBE coffee, wedding cake, mints...what I don't understand is, in keeping with this mindset and style of wedding and reception and it's brief reception, why do these brides see it necessary to have 10 or more bridesmaids and groomsmen plus numerous flower girls; babies in wagons being pulled up the aisle? It seems not to make sense. I could see if there is a large elaborate wedding taking up the whole evening in to the night, with a Vienese hour at 11pm; well, maybe that's worth the trouble of a large bridal party...I know they all have numerous siblings, but ALL of the siblings don't have to be in all of the wedding parties, do they? Just doesn't seem "balanced" to me...and we know how big they are on "balance" now, don't we...thanks, guys...

[Jellybeans]

Little off topic here... when they showed Josh eating his egg before they went to the music store, why is he sitting at the kid's table?

I used to sit with my kids at the kids table because it was fun. Had a regular table too but I liked the kids table better.

[Absolom]

Having grown up around people like the Duggars, no they see no correlation between the size of the bridal party and the type of reception.  The largest I saw was about 8 bridesmaids with two to four junior bridesmaids and a full choir singing.  I was in the choir.  The reception was punch albeit from a fountain, cake, petit fours, mints, and nuts and no coffee or tea.  

 

With the rehearsal dinners, my kids have mainly had the traditional kind, but one daughter married here where she grew up and almost everyone except me, the minister, and the reader were from out of town.  They invited everyone invited to the wedding to the rehearsal dinner and I think there were more people there than at the reception.  A couple of families couldn't get to the wedding but could manage the rehearsal dinner.  It was a small wedding though of about 30 people.  

[floridamom]

I didn't know that out of town guests were invited to the rehearsal dinner; after all, they aren't rehearsing the ceremony in the first place... if so many people attend that, it's like a second wedding reception and takes away from the "real" one, IMO. This is just my opinion.

[TheDoctorsCompanio]

For some reason I'm just surprised that Jessa went with such a big wedding. Maybe she had to.

[Absolom]

I've seen many places where it's customary to invite out of town guests.  With the daughter who had almost all the guests at both, they were so very different in character that it didn't take away from the wedding reception at all.  They didn't really have a rehearsal but the dinner was more like a reunion of a lot of people and the reception was a celebration.  As far as the Duggars go with so very many people I'm not sure how they work it out. 

[truthtalk2014]

And yes, total F.U. internet critic moment with the boys cooking. I did agree with Jason that breaking up the ground beef with a spatula is easier, not to mention more sanitary, than doing it with your fingers.

MEchelle is gross to even think of doing that with her fingers.  Seriously!  We never see her washing hands.  Just gross.

 

I also wish she would teach the boys that  taking scissors and using them on a teflon pan to cut chicken while it is cooking is not a good idea either.  

 

Cook the freaking chicken- cut it up and then add it to your casserole.  Also, invest in some good stainless steel.  Teflon cookware is SO bad for you.  Not that the Dugs care about that type of thing- but still.  

[truthtalk2014]

 

And does Jessa really not know the names of any flowers besides roses?  Does she really not know what to call daisies, violets, lilies, etc.?  An average 10-year old would know that.  Talk about sheltered.

Guess Mama MEchelle didn't have the flash cards for anything but roses. 

[truthtalk2014]

 

 

ME too!! that poor guy... give him some visine or something..

I think he has a secret stash of pot growing on the compound.  He smokes it between cleaning the toilets.  That's why he talks so slow and can tolerate the Duggars.  

[Wellfleet]

I've seen many places where it's customary to invite out of town guests.  With the daughter who had almost all the guests at both, they were so very different in character that it didn't take away from the wedding reception at all.  They didn't really have a rehearsal but the dinner was more like a reunion of a lot of people and the reception was a celebration.  As far as the Duggars go with so very many people I'm not sure how they work it out. 

 

Many of the rehearsals and weddings I've attended have been deliberately "mixed up" - in that the bridal couples wanted the two parties to be quite different in nature. My brother had a very lively cocktail hour and sit-down dinner reception followed by dancing, for almost 200. By contrast my parents kept the rehearsal dinner the night before quite quiet and relaxing - only about 15 people - in the private room of their favorite and regular restaurant. Dad didn't even make any arrangements ahead of time other than to book the room. He wanted to be able to tell everyone "please order anything from the bar and off the menu that you'd like - and as much as you'd like too..." It was one of the nicest, happiest parties I'd ever been to - before or since. Lots of laughter, good conversation, incomparable food and wine then. Terrific memories now.

[Portia]

Every rehearsal dinner I've been involved with has been open to everyone attending the rehearsal, plus their dates or, in the case of children, their parents. So in addition to bridesmaids and groomsmen you've got the wedding director, pastor, ushers, ring bearer, flower girl, musicians, and sound man plus their plus ones. Add in the bride and groom's parents, grandparents, siblings, and any dates, and the guest list keeps rising. There were 60 or so people at both my daughters' rehearsal dinners, and their wedding parties were good-sized but definitely not Duggar-sized. I wonder if JB&M invited any of their many "wedding volunteers" to the rehearsal dinner so they could show their appreciation ? If so, I wonder if they helped Derick's mom pay for the meal?

[BitterApple]

Do the Duggars even really know half of their out of town guests? It seems like a mass invite goes out to every Fundie in the country and whoever shows, shows. I can't imagine how much food was wasted at Jill's wedding when they planned for 3,000 and only 1,000 attended.

[Mrsjumbo]

But even if one invited the same amount of people to a rehearsal dinner & the wedding reception, the way the Duggars have such a "light" wedding reception (cake & punch type), it does seem out of balance that the rehearsal dinner would be more substantial (a sit down dinner, even if it is made by volunteers).

[NikSac]

I sincerely hope they at least invited their volunteers. They at least deserve a meal as opposed to some half-melted ice cream that they had to scoop themselves (for example, from Jill's wedding).  Makes me kinda ill to think that JB&M might pawn off the only real meal on the groom's family, though.

 

Portia same here. The rehearsal dinners I've been involved with have always been pretty much bride, groom, immediate family, plus people associated with the wedding, and their "plus ones." I can see how a rehearsal dinner could end up huge with this family.  Immediate family alone would be a lot of people.

[jcbrown]

 

Do the Duggars even really know half of their out of town guests? It seems like a mass invite goes out to every Fundie in the country and whoever shows, shows.

That's my impression, as well--that they send an invitation to everyone they think shares their freaky beliefs.

 

We had 32 people at our wedding, including us, and we invited everyone from out of town to our rehearsal dinner. It was just pizza and beer at our house, but still (yes, our house, because we owned property and cars and were together for nine years before we got married so clearly we are part of the heathen element that so terrifies the Duggars). If we had a larger more formal wedding, I would think just family and wedding party at the rehearsal dinner. Duggars are weird.

[Micks Picks]

I am used to weddings where there is real food afterwards, and your invitation is for you and partner or for you and + one.  Not for you and your 10-20 kids.  You don't dump all the food cost on the groom's parents.  Of course, for the most part, the engaged couple pay for most of the wedding themselves where I am.  They don't ask the parents for too much.  Although the parents do kick in.  But the couple usually plan it themselves thus pay themselves.  I don't think there is waste of food at the wedding receptions since there is no food at them in Duggarland.  They seem to get ice cream or cake, not both, and one them didn't have drinks.  None of them have adequate seats.  They could plan better if it wasn't an affair where you were expecting 500 couples and god knows how many kids.  Kids don't belong, except kids of immediate family.  Having hordes coming with a couple of thousand kids is beyond ridiculous and takes child centered to a stupid level, IMO.

[SpaghettiTuesdays]

I thought the trip to the music store was actually really sweet. Josh actually looked like he enjoyed the time he spent with Mac and Mike and the kids looked like they had a blast. It was nice to see that. And Mark is such a chunk! I really love those kids.

 

I wish they would get speech therapy for Jordyn and Josie - I can't really understand much of what they say - but, knowing their parents, that'll never happen.

[GEML]

In religious weddings (at least ones like mine) rehearsal dinner is also a time to spend some time with all of the people who pitched in to make the wedding possible happen (and cheaper.)

[msblossom]

-Yes Jessa, it is important for the girls to learn a skill where it benefits the family, but not others. Why to go!!!

 

-No Jill and Derick

 

-Whoever put the scenes together should be force to sit down on the bottom of the hill and have Derick attempt to nail him while riding down the hill on a made up sled.

 

-The boys should learn to cook. Really... Hmmm...

 

-I do not think Ben was too impress with casseroles.

 

-I do not know who is bugs me more when they talk-Anna or Ben.

.

I agree with your entire post. It seems the more we're exposed to Ben, the less he seems to be thrilled with the way the Duggars do life. He seemed less than thrilled to be moving into Josh & Anna's old digs, even with the mold removal and updated kitchen. He seems unimpressed with Josh doing the invitations and the finished product. You can see that Ben is used to healthier and better quality food than what the Duggars half-hazardly throw together. The look on his face and tone of voice seems to say "Okaayy, I'm going to try to be positive about this -- how do I spin this and come off gracious about this slop?"

Oh, I don't know how to put this nicely, but Anna and Ben's head congestion is driving me crazy like fingernails on a chalkboard. I think Ben's stuffy head voice is probably worse and drives me crazier than Annas.

I may be the only one, but I find Josh cuter than Ben. I think it's because of the facial hair and difficulty speaking well. I mean, I don't like Josh's boobies, but that's my only complaint looks-wise. Ben looks greasy to me.

I did like seeing the boys and Josh cook. The casseroles ended up looking cute, but I wouldn't have wanted to be the first to eat it. Casseroles always make me nervous.

Ben was really blunt about the wedding invitations. It didn't sound like Josh thought they were serious. Maybe they had a follow/up talk.

Agree with this too. And Ben does look greasy and unkept, sorta dirty lookin'. But to be honest, Derick looks this way too at times. But of the two, Ben is better looking than Derick, and I prefer Josh's clean cut look over Ben (minus the moobs and pasty skin tone).

[WalrusGirl]

As far as I know, rehearsal dinners are pretty much universally the same in this country...it is for the bride, groom, their bridal party, the parents, and siblings and spouses..very close family only...it shouldn't ever get in to the hundreds...It's an intimate time for everyone to be able to have some time together before the wedding...right? Why would hundreds of people be at the rehearsal anyway? It's not for guests who will show up the next day.

ITA, but my assumption is that closer family friends who've traveled quite a way would likely be included. (I've been to weddings where, if the people with the heaviest travel burden were close enough to get away with it, they were invited to the rehearsal dinner despite not having a role in the wedding. Or a peripheral role was created for that ultimate purpose.) (My reference points are the northeast and CA; the CA wedding was under 40 people and just about everyone had traveled from the east coast, since the couple had just moved a few years prior, so almost everyone was at the rehearsal dinner - NOT the wedding rehearsal itself. But they had very different tones, and gave the couple more time to spend with everyone who had traveled very out of their way to be there. I get why it can seem like it would just clone the reception, but it doesn't end up that way. Plus it tends to make the reception more festive, since the out-of-towners met some other people the night before so there's more mixing of guests at the reception. I don't know what the norm is in the south or fundy culture, but given how many guests are surely making large family RV trips to attend, I'm hoping they're going the "invite out of town guests who have already arrived for a [good] meal and fellowship" route.)

Plus, if their hundreds of volunteers have been slaving away with prep and set-up and are still right there when they have the already-large rehearsal dinner, maybe they're polite enough to include them? Though probably not, if plenty of the volunteers are strangers. That was just the first thought I had to justify a rehearsal dinner in the hundreds!

[Skittl1321]

As far as I know, rehearsal dinners are pretty much universally the same in this country...it is for the bride, groom, their bridal party, the parents, and siblings and spouses..very close family only...it shouldn't ever get in to the hundreds...It's an intimate time for everyone to be able to have some time together before the wedding...right? Why would hundreds of people be at the rehearsal anyway? It's not for guests who will show up the next day.

Ours was bride, groom, both sets of parents, all sets of grandparents, both sets of siblings, the bridal party, the readers, everyone's spouses- so that was 56 people.  And I only have 1 sibling, not 18.  It wasn't an intimate time. It was "thanks for being part of our wedding, here's food to enjoy to show our gratitude at being at the church to run through the wedding the day before it happened."  We didn't have a homemade wedding, but if we did, it likely would have included all the people who helped us decorate the church too.  We also didn't include our military friends who did a sword arch for us, as they didn't need to rehearse, if we had done that, it would have been another 20 once we added in spouses.

 

I've been to quite a few now that include family that traveled great distance to come to the wedding (making it a wedding weekend)- so that can easily reach 100 or more.

Edited March 9, 2015 by Skittl1321

[floridamom]

I would think if these people didn't invite THOUSANDS of guests, they wouldn't need HUNDREDS of volunteers to help out....I say, Jim Bob can afford it; so he should have paid for the wedding prep by professionals, and kept the rehearsal dinner smaller and a much more intimate event..After all, I understand this dinner is paid for by the groom's parents and neither the Dillard/Byrums nor the Seewalds are as financially "available" as the Duggars are in the first place. Jim Bob should have paid for the help and had it done properly. I understand it's regional and customary in their fundamentalist sect of their religion to do it in their fashion, just doesn't make sense to me, but it obviously doesn't have to; it's not my event. Just giving my opinion as this is what this page is for.