S10.E05: Wedding Prep and Pies

[maraleia]

 

Ben designs Jessa's wedding ring, as a surprise for her on their wedding day, while Jessa and her family are out looking at flowers for her wedding. Jason and James decide to make a special meal for their sister's wedding rehearsal dinner, which has to meet with the engaged couple's approval first.

 

[riverblue22]

I have a question.  When the older girls were getting the little girls dressed and ready in the morning, they handed a dress to Josie to change into.  Josie already had a dress on.  So when does she get her bath if she sleeps in one dress and changes into another in the morning?  I just keep thinking about those dirty feet!

[scenicbyway]

So Jinger meets Ben at the jeweler by herself?  You only need a chaperone if you're dating?  Why not just say you're not dating and then you can be alone.

[MarkySnark]

Nothing like opening with a big ol' FU Interwebs scene of a couple of Howlers and JoshieBob cooking. See? We don't think cooking is just for the wimmin' folk! Smells to me like J'Chelle is training up the older Howlers to take on some buddies when Jana, Jinger and Joy fly the coop.

[purpleflowers]

I missed the episodes as they were airing live, can someone mention what the big news ended up being?

[VioletNevermind]

Michelle: “It seems like someone is always in the kitchen preparing a meal.”  No, bitch, you mean your grown daughters are preparing meals while you do whatever the hell it is that you do as your eight children under the age of 16 (including one with obvious special needs) raise themselves.  Just thought I’d fix that statement for ya.  Super childish note: I got a small chuckle out of the “BJ” the kids etched into one of the pies.  My immature glee is dampened by the fact that none of them know what it means.  *sigh*

 

Ben goes to the jewelry shop and forgets the ring.  Ooookay.  There’s no way that goofy-ass, unemployed (beyond being Jim Bob’s toilet scrubber) kid is paying for the ring himself.  The only thing I can think when I see him struggling to express a basic train of thought is "Bless your heart."  That's Southern for "Good Lord, what a lovable dumbass."

 

Next week, we’ll be treated to yet another Michelle-centric episode.  She’ll discuss her struggles with bulimia from 25 years ago.  So, instead of dedicating an episode to one of the Lost Girls, their homeschooling curriculum (HA!), or an honest update on Josie’s development and progress at five-years-old, we’ll endure more navel-gazing from the deplorably self-centered family matriarch.  Can’t wait.

Edited March 4, 2015 by SuzyLee

[NJRach]

I don'the recall any announcement, but then I did leave the room a few times, so maybe I miseed it.

Who the heck takes four little girls to a florist and asks them to teach them how to arrange flowers? That is so obnoxious.

Edited March 4, 2015 by NJRach

[flyingdi]

Is it just me or does Ben look better wearing glasses? I will say that Jessa`s siblings, especially the younger ones, seem to like Ben a great deal.

[Betweenyouandme]

I may be the only one, but I find Josh cuter than Ben. I think it's because of the facial hair and difficulty speaking well. I mean, I don't like Josh's boobies, but that's my only complaint looks-wise. Ben looks greasy to me.

I did like seeing the boys and Josh cook. The casseroles ended up looking cute, but I wouldn't have wanted to be the first to eat it. Casseroles always make me nervous.

Ben was really blunt about the wedding invitations. It didn't sound like Josh thought they were serious. Maybe they had a follow/up talk.

[BitterApple]

I think the wedding band is either being comped or heavily discounted. I doubt Bin could afford custom design work on his salary.

The whole "teach us how to do flowers so we don't have to pay for your services in the future" was so tacky but so typical.

And yes, total F.U. internet critic moment with the boys cooking. I did agree with Jason that breaking up the ground beef with a spatula is easier, not to mention more sanitary, than doing it with your fingers.

[Gemma Violet]

The whole "teach us how to do flowers so we don't have to pay for your services in the future" was so tacky but so typical.

 

I thought the same.  How about simply paying for a course in flower arranging like most people do who are interested in learning that skill?  I guess the flower shop traded the training for the free plug for their shop.

 

And does Jessa really not know the names of any flowers besides roses?  Does she really not know what to call daisies, violets, lilies, etc.?  An average 10-year old would know that.  Talk about sheltered.

Edited March 4, 2015 by Gemma Violet

[bigskygirl]

-Yes Jessa, it is important for the girls to learn a skill where it benefits the family, but not others. Why to go!!!

 

-No Jill and Derick

 

-Whoever put the scenes together should be force to sit down on the bottom of the hill and have Derick attempt to nail him while riding down the hill on a made up sled.

 

-The boys should learn to cook. Really... Hmmm...

 

-I do not think Ben was too impress with casseroles.

 

-I do not know who is bugs me more when they talk-Anna or Ben.

[VioletNevermind]

And does Jessa really not know the names of any flowers besides roses?  Does she really not know what to call daisies, violets, lilies, etc.?  An average 10-year old would know that.  Talk about sheltered.

 

Jessa appears to be the kind of girl who revels in not knowing things and making no attempts to learn.  The spoiled vibe is very strong with that one (although I'm absolutely loving her off-the-beaten-path wedding arrangements that are an obvious F.U. to her mom).

[woodscommaelle]

Ugh Jessa did her stupid 'heh' laugh (i.e. I'm so cute but have no fucking idea) when asked what kind of flowers she liked.

Felt bad for Ben. His eyes were so red in one of his talking heads it made my eyes water. I've never really had allergies so I don't know the protocol, but would wome OTC something or other help him?

Edited March 4, 2015 by woodscommaelle

[Sew Sumi]

Jeweler'a name noted. Ring comped. Check.

 

Florist's name noted. Flowers comped. Check. 

Last week: Church's name seen as they entered for their scripted appointment (church had been booked since June). Church comped. Check. 

 

Bridal shop named. Dress comped. Check.

 

Did Boob pay for ANYTHING? 

 

As for the "very special announcement," it may have come in the commercials of the next show. That's what happened with the announcement for M4. It did not air during the hour that the episodes aired. We all know it was the Mender, anyway. Hell, even Smuganna announced it on social media today. TLC was scooped by People with M4, too, and didn't scrap the announcement then. I imagine they aired it, but no one stuck around to watch the next show to actually see it. 

[Temperance]

The whole cooking scene is a huge FU internet moment.  (Michelle helps in the kitchen, and the boys need to learn to cook) That and those girls keeping married, let's get those boys cooking before all the older girls leave. 

 

The ring sequence was to use a Duggar word surreal, (I would pick the word insane). so much for a wedding on a budget! Or even the appearance of having a budget if everything was comped! What every young couple getting married with very little money needs are more diamonds! Jinger's face said it all. It was also telling that Jana and Joy are helping the younger girls and Jessa is sitting on the bed   painting her nails (on Jill's bed! or at least since Jill is married, a bed that is not Jessa's!). 

Jennifer is taller than Johanna and she is close to 2 years younger. Jennifer also seems like the sharpest of the little girls.

 

WHAT the hell! Josie can't feed her self, but she is using the pruning sheers to cut leaves off the stems. Where was Mechelle during the flower arranging!

Edited March 4, 2015 by Temperance

[messyone15]

Why do they keep calling casseroles "pies"??!!!

[Diane]

Why do they keep calling casseroles "pies"??!!!

Right!!!?

[purpleflowers]

It is so annoying when someone asks Jessa a question and she just stares blankly and laughs. The florists asked what colors she wanted and she did that bored looking annoying reaction. Then in her talking head, she knew exactly what colors she wanted. She acted the same way at the bridal salon. She's something. 

 

And what is up with all these women staring at their men completely entranced by them every time they speak? So weird! 

 

 

Josie and Jordyn were adorable! 

Edited March 4, 2015 by purpleflowers

[msblossom]

It is so annoying when someone asks Jessa a question and she just stares blankly and laughs. The florists asked what colors she wanted and she did that bored looking annoying reaction. Then in her talking head, she knew exactly what colors she wanted. She acted the same way at the bridal salon. She's something.

It's called passive-aggressive.

[wanderwoman]

Oh! In the words of that dude from the movie RED; "boop to that!"

These are the first episodes I've caught in a while and if I have to watch any more wedding prep episodes for any more Duggars, I'm out. jessa is a ridiculous princess who would still be wearing a navy blue frumper and sharing a bunk bed with four of her sisters in a basement had the TLC gravy train not come along. I don't know if it's her passive-aggressive bull that annoys me or her know-it-all attitude that makes me think certain sisters can't wait for her to leave, but I'm guessing Jana has had about enough of her shit by now. I loved her snide condoning "I will LET him have the ring secret." Let him?

I stand by my initial assessments that Bin is an immature tool who is overcome by Jessas looks. He is a grown ass man being led around by the balls of a reality princess. Can that jeweler blow any more smoke up his butt?

[Sew Sumi]

The scene in the florist was again for show. If they're getting lessons in flower arranging, this is NOT their first time at the rodeo. SOMEONE set this up; they act like it was all impromptu...we'll use this place because Jill did (and got it comped). Bull to the shit. 

 

Jessa with Ben on the couch while Johannah parroted that crap line about expectations ruining relationships floored me. No 9 year old should be talking like that. And even on a small (23") teevee, I could see Jessa's bad skin. Maybe some more time with facial scrubs and less time painting the nails? 

 

She is vain, and expects everyone to cater to her every whim. I'll go there: straight up bitch. 

[candg123]

Calling the casseroles pies really bugged me. I don't understand the whole "expectations ruins relationships" line. It's normal to have expectations for your partner and your relationship.

[floridamom]

candg123: I agree with you; one has to have some type of standard or minimum of what is acceptable in a relationship or any situation..these people are weird; it's just another one of Gothard's teachings, not Jesus' teachings...but, oh yeah, they don't follow ANY MAN, do they?

It was creepy for such a young kid to make that statement.. it shows me that they are memorizing and indoctrinating things in their children who don't even yet understand what that means. Just robotic IMO.

[floridamom]

Is Jessa that unaware and/or that uneducated that the doesn't know what a tulip, carnation or daisy looks like? "I just call them 'flowers'". Really, Jessa?

I am also disgusted of this family "robbing" skilled people of their abilities..they actually expect professionals to "teach them what they do" for free so they can learn it and do it themselves later on? Who does this? If you want to learn something,, go to school for it..and train yourself. Yes, that florist was so fake and set up (also free advertising for them) It wasn't funny. Of course they were expecting them..it's scripted and merely a sit com about a real family with largely real events in their lives; like marriages and kids...their totally fake international vacations and most of their trips domestically are all episode fodder and paid for by TLC..

Jessa doesn't seem happy to get married; she seems so bored with this, I also see Jessa working to "be like Ben" in some scenes; his personality and sense of humor is so just not hers....anyone else see this? She also knows it's her only way out...

In that bedroom scene where the older ones are dressing and helping the younger girls, Jessa is polishing her own nails; not doing a thing...she is so checked out of being a mommy or doing any work around there it's not funny. I think she won't be missed really, by her sisters as she just makes more work and clean up for them.

However, I still see Jessa and Ben,, who are now married, still "living" at the Duggar Mansion..they are always there like they are still one of the kids...how is that?

It was obvious to me that none of those boys have ever spent any time in front of the stove..learn to cook, my foot! Did anyone notice how that young man was manually struggling with that spatula to loosen up the ground beef? Anyone with any experience at all in the kitchen knows how to hold a spatula! I also think Michelle's "use your hands" was disgusting and so not done...why was she putting her hands in a hot skillet to loosen the meat? Has she forgotten in all of her 20 years out of the kitchen that a stove is HOT?

Why don't we ever see any of the Duggars wear their glasses? Wasn't there an episode where Michelle took Jennifer (?) to the eye doctor for glasses? Many of the girls including Michelle wear them..I think they are much more vain than they let on...just my opinion here, but I know Jessa, Jill Jennifer and mama have glasses..

[GEML]

I actually had a different reaction to Jessa and the flowers. I think Jessa knows what she wants, but is afraid to say so in front of her family for fear the will belittle it or use her own choices against her. So she's learned to act bored or pretend she doesn't care the way you do around bullies or "mean girls" when you're in middle school. That way she keeps what she wants to herself until she can get some support (probably she finds that in Ben, and that may be one of the biggest things she loves about him) and then can communicate what she wants.

[floridamom]

GEML: Thanks for your perspective about Jessa and her attitude, but isn't that a sick way to live?

Why would anyone's choice of flowers be used against them?

[BitterApple]

I think the producers are encouraging Jessa to play up the anti-bride angle. Out of all the J'Slaves Jessa has always been the most stylish. I don't believe she was this blase during the real preparations for her wedding.

Also, yes, cagey move on Jessa's part to crack open a bottle of nail polish right at the time some work needed to be done, although I don't understand why getting the Littles ready is such a big production. They should be able to dress themselves by now. Naturally Michelle was nowhere to be found....

[Adeejay]

I may be the only one, but I find Josh cuter than Ben.

 

You are probably right about that.  I would hate to think what Josh would be like if he were half as cute as Ben.   

[Sew Sumi]

Yeah, the grifting the skills of trained professionals and using those skills to BLESS the family really bugged me. And be warned: I'm going to harp on this for a LONG time because that attitude towards things is so, so wrong. Send your own damn kids to school to become pros themselves. Smug's "graphic design" could have been produced by my 11 year-old niece. They may learn "skills," but only at the most rudimentary level. Jinger's photography isn't all that, either. 

 

But if by BLESS, they actually mean FREE, then go for it. I imagine they got this one from the king of all grifters: Gil Bates. 

[Missy Vixen]

OMG. I'd invent a drinking game for the FU Internetz, but I'd be dead of alcohol poisoning before the first commercial break.

 

Jessa's insistence that her parents want them to "have experiences we can learn from"? Bull to the shit! I almost fell off the couch!

 

SewSumi, I can't improve on your comments re: every damn thing for this wedding was comped, including the honeymoon. Jim Boob has some big swingin' balls (or he'd like us to think so) claiming he paid one thin dime to marry off either of his daughters. It's a freaking profit center. And i would LOVE a chance to visit the TTH and count the number of "wedding gifts" that made their way into the parents' hands instead of the intended recipients as well.

 

Next week: J-Chelle gets to spend time with her school friends. She's made sure her kids will never have that experience. We also get to hear about her tragic struggle with bulimia, which is an insult to everyone else who's ever had an eating disorder and was brave enough to get meaningful help to overcome it.

[Betweenyouandme]

I thought it was interesting when the florists stated they understood why the girls wanted to take advantage of learning how to do flower arrangements. They said it was because there were 19 kids, which makes me think either

They feel sorry for the family despite knowing/not knowing? they make a lot of money

If this was free, they're not going to spend their time teaching other familes of 1-4 people only

They did it for advertising and just wanted to sound good

My issue is that if the kids are so used to getting things for free, especially things smaller families with or without fame don't get...it's going to be a wakeup call later in life. And, unfair to everyone else in the world, too, of course, but I've long come to the realization that things aren't fair.

Edited March 4, 2015 by Betweenyouandme

[graefin]

It is so annoying when someone asks Jessa a question and she just stares blankly and laughs. The florists asked what colors she wanted and she did that bored looking annoying reaction. Then in her talking head, she knew exactly what colors she wanted. She acted the same way at the bridal salon. She's something.

If we wanted to give her the benefit of the doubt, we could say that she's annoyed by having to go along with the TLC charade that what they show in the episodes actually mirrors real life. But I'm fairly certain she has lied without flinching about other things, so maybe you're right after all ;)

[floridamom]

Sew Sumi:  What's this about Gil Bates being the "king of grifters"...? Do tell!

I think it totally fake that a business person,, like a florist, OR carpet layer, would personally teach a client their trade or skill...why would they do that? They would be undercutting themselves and losing business opportunities in the process? Just doesn't make sense to me....Jinger's comment about blessing the family with their "learned skills" made me nausceos...yeah, learn for free from the professional and keep it in the family...how not right of them.

As far as Jessa's love/interest in thedashingbenseewald goes, I remember she was just as disinterested in the guy in the beginning as she was in what types of flowers she wanted for her wedding to THAT SAME GUY...I think Ben just grew on her and she got used to him...I don't buy that "I love him so much" crap from her...she convinces herself of those feelings; as I also don't remember Jessa to be such a preachy hypocrite/ one record juke box as she has become since spending "time "with Ben....

[Absolom]

Maybe they were going for a mock shepherd's pie.  I haven't gotten to the episode on the DVR yet.

 

Ratings:  1.978 M viewers and a .6 rating.

[Sew Sumi]

Yeah, one of the "pies" had ingredients that would be sort of commensurate with a Shepard's Pie. It still looked gross. 

 

floridamom, I'll take the Gil Bates grifter talk to the proper thread. He's a piece of work! 

[BitterApple]

I think a lightbulb went off in Boob's head and he's trying to get his older kids married off while TLC is still footing the bill. It's odd that there's a sudden push to showcase JD in all his mediocre glory. Boob can probably weasel at least another three weddings from the Gravy Train if he plays his cards right.

[flyingdi]

Jessa`s meal looked like a chicken pot pie, albeit a big one. I have never referred to pot pie as a casserole. It may be a regional thing.

[kalamac]

Maybe if they didn't abstain until marriage, JB could get away with cheaper weddings. Buy used, save the difference...

[Vaysh]

Haven't seen the episode yet but minced beef with mash potato topping sounds like a Cottage Pie. Delicious stuff. :)

[floridamom]

I noticed the "flower questions" were answered improperly...color of flowers are NOT types of flower. Some homeschooling. I would love to have some of those kids take a general knowledge test in writing and see how they do.

My thoughts exactly in their "buy used and save the difference" motto: why not marry used? After all, isn't a piano that has been played a better piano?

[PinkSprinkles]

Calling the casseroles pies really bugged me. I don't understand the whole "expectations ruins relationships" line. It's normal to have expectations for your partner and your relationship.

 

I totally agree. Plus, the courtship process they utilize disproves that quote. Each person in the courtship expects the other not to kiss them, touch them, be with them alone, and, in addition, live up to high spiritual standards. If they had no expectations from their partner, then the courtship rules are arbitrary and it doesn't really matter if they are followed. If your partner sneaks a kiss then you should be fine with it because you shouldn't "expect" them not to (you don't want to ruin the relationship, after all). This logic can lead to some very bad situations. 

 

What they should say is: "Unrealistic expectations ruin relationships". That line of logic I could understand. 

[TheDoctorsCompanio]

Just watched this episode and I am rather surprised that James didn't do the rehearsal dinner for Jill. She's the one he's close to and always chaperoning for. Heck, didn't he get a bike for Derick's birthday?

I have to say that Mckynzie and Michael are so cute and you can tell how comfortable they are around each other and how much they love each other. With their talking heads compared to other little girls and boys. They are not afraid to hold hands, hug and kiss each other. I hope they always stay so close.

I don't understand the older girls saying how when one gets married it will all be different now. I mean yes in the rest of mainstream America once you marry the relationships will be different with siblings because of jobs and families. But once Jill has her baby the others will be over to help. Both couples still frequently goes back TTH. The only reason Jill wasn't helping with the flowers was because she probably had terrible morning sickness.

[gunderda]

Ben was really blunt about the wedding invitations. It didn't sound like Josh thought they were serious. Maybe they had a follow/up talk.

He was joking when he said "Josh you have to do better than that"  - he quickly said "nah, just kidding they look great!" 

 

Felt bad for Ben. His eyes were so red in one of his talking heads it made my eyes water. I've never really had allergies so I don't know the protocol, but would wome OTC something or other help him?

 

ME too!! that poor guy... give him some visine or something.. He looks like he's miserable during his talking heads.  Are they in a basement or something where dust is flying around?  They must know he looks terrible on camera. 

Why do they keep calling casseroles "pies"??!!!

Is it a southern thing? To me they were comparable to shepherd's pie - they both seemed to have the same components.  Meat, fillers, potatoes and cheese. 

 

I actually had a different reaction to Jessa and the flowers. I think Jessa knows what she wants, but is afraid to say so in front of her family for fear the will belittle it or use her own choices against her. So she's learned to act bored or pretend she doesn't care the way you do around bullies or "mean girls" when you're in middle school. That way she keeps what she wants to herself until she can get some support (probably she finds that in Ben, and that may be one of the biggest things she loves about him) and then can communicate what she wants.

I thought maybe when this was filmed she didn't want her wedding stuff to be revealed?  When the florists asked her about colors and she kinda made a weird face and then she didn't know.  Most people would go with what their wedding colors are so I felt like she was trying to hide it. 

[Betweenyouandme]

Oh ok, that went over my head. I saw them looking at different pictures than the ones Josh picked, so I was focused on that. I didn't hear/notice Ben say he was kidding. Thanks.

[Absolom]

Yes, they called the dishes the boys made pies because they were a take off on shepherd's pie.  

[Dr.Scully]

Well, at least we now know what Josie's biggest problem is - it's Mechelle:

Josie: "They're too dry."

Mechelle: "That's because you used too much white stuff."

Howler:"flour"

"White stuff?!" Really, Mechelle?! The child is 5 years old and you can't refer to flour as flour to her? Talk about infantalizing a child and treating her like an idiot. Josie may be delayed but she's not stupid. Rather than use a perfect teachable moment to explain a bit about baking, Mechelle puts on a baby-voice and calls flour white stuff. Actually, there was an idiot in that exchange but it sure wasn't Josie.

It's too bad that the way Mechelle treats Josie will actually hold her back. Wait, what am I saying? She's held all her kids back.

[JoanArc]

I always thought it was strange that the first and last born look so sickly.

[LoLo]

The emphasis they put on courting is someone creepy. Even the little kids talk about it & get all giddy. The way the girls stand & stare up at their guys when they speak like they are hanging on every word is odd. I'm all for respecting your husband or father. But, they do it in a strange way. I would take Derrick any day over Ben. I hate to sound mean but Ben does not come off as being very bright. What is he doing for a living other than doing odd jobs & living in the Duggars storage room? 

 

I used to love Michelle but the more I read about her & "blanket training", I see a different side to her. It's like they stifle the kids feelings & don't ever let them be angry or have emotions other than being sweet. Nothing wrong with being happy but everyone needs to have a spectrum of emotions. Read up on her training & beliefs & you might see it differently now too. 

[TheDoctorsCompanio]

So Jinger meets Ben at the jeweler by herself? You only need a chaperone if you're dating? Why not just say you're not dating and then you can be alone.

Exactly my thoughts. Also surprised Ben is allowed to have their phone numbers.