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Celebrating 1,000 NCIS-franchise episodes

S04.E01: Miracle & Javonni

Tara Ariano

By Tara Ariano
in Catfish [V]

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OrientalAmish

OrientalAmish

This whole recap made me literally LOL in IRL.... I don't watch Catfish regularly, but reading this recap is making me go watch it now.....

My highlights of this recap below:

"Jesus, if Charlamagne really thinks that was "amazing to watch," no one better ever take him to a Penn & Teller show or he will STROKE THE FUCK OUT."

"She own a fishnet, and I'm basic?" <--- I wish this was an actual meme

  • Love 5
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Persnickety1

Persnickety1

Well, that was....Interesting.

 

At first I thought, "Oh, great yet another fucking FATTY catfish!" but at least this had a twist to it.

 

And who knew "basic" was a total diss?

 

I'm incorporating it into my Reality TV Random Insults file I keep in my brain for appropriate occasions.

 

Also, are people really still this naïve?  Girlfriend never thought to Google around or stick the dude's phone number into Google to see what might come up?

 

After a few seasons of this show and other tales of internet frauding, I'm shocked there are still enough gullible people out there to keep this show going.  

  • Love 4
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bilgistic

bilgistic

Fishnetwear was the height of fashion in about 1987, I'll have you all know. I thought "basic" meant a yoga-pant-and-Ugg-boot-wearing, pumpkin-spice-latte-drinking white female suburbanite.

I'm glad Nev has found a friend with whom to groom their luxurious, full eyebrows.

Jonathan, Javonni and...Javelin?

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kalamac

kalamac

How does anyone buy "I can't videochat because I've forgotten my logins" as an actual excuse. Hit the button that says "forgot my password" or create a new account. At least claim you don't videochat because you think the camera steals your soul. That's way more believable than not being able to login.

  • Love 12
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GaT

GaT

I miss Max, but I really liked Charlamagne “Nev, don’t you follow some angry black man into his house!” At least the catfish was something different, & not another fat person. The husband just seemed lost.

 

I had various problems recording the show & when I finally got it, the last few minutes got missed, so I hope nothing important happened. I also watched Chatfish & I am not impressed with Jonathan. I don't think he's that good looking (but I have a feeling he does) & his personality is nothing.

  • Love 1
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Brooklynista

Brooklynista

I have been a fan of Charlemagne 's since he was a sidekick to Wendy Williams on the radio here in NYC. He's a bit of an asshole and that's exactly why we love him.

His chat to Miracle about how she overcame her upbringing instead of being a lifesuck on the universe warmed my cold cat-fishy heart.

  • Love 3
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meeeeech

meeeeech

(edited)

I thought I would miss Max more. I'm not a Charlemagne fan but he added a little sassiness this week that is so sorely needed on this show. Nev always reminds me of someone's dorky dad.

 

So glad the catfish wasn't some obvious fame whore smirking and applauding his or her own cleverness. I hate that even more than the typical "I just lied about my pictures, name and job!" scenarios. 

 

If you're "basic" you are unoriginal and thus able to be dismissed immediately. Wearing Uggs/leggings/going to Starbucks/loving Sex and the City is basic because it's a total sorority girl cliche. Basic can also mean tacky and cheap.

Edited by meeeeech
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Neurochick

Neurochick

(edited)

As much as I miss Max, I did really enjoy Charlemagne, who I had to google because I'm old. 

 

I remember Charlemagne when he used to be on the radio with Wendy Williams...and I'm 55.  

 

Watching this story, I don't think it's only that people are gullible, but it's that they want to feel loved, rather they want the fairy tale, the handsome prince falls in love with the humble woman.  

Edited by Neurochick
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summerfungirl

summerfungirl

You guys are hilarious. Had to sign up today. I thought Mohmed and stupid Daniel were a train wreck but this show is train wreck every week. But I am hooked...yes, they catfished me. I am in Canada so I went through hell and back setting up a US account. Even went to punjabi.mtv and was still blocked.

Finally got a US account to rewatch a few selected episodes with more commercials than ever.

I am very surprised that nobody mentioned...whatever the [snip] name was...oh yes, Miracle because her crack addicted heroine abusing mom had her as an exchange. The show should have stopped there. I was scratching my head what is an exchange, lovely Miracle explained. Still I was thinking What?

And lovely Miracle went on to make anybody living with Lupus look like some psycho idiots who have nothing better to do than spend their hours at home catfishing people because the disease is so debilitating and that makes it right.

I am actually shocked that they aired this episode.

I feel sorry for the people who actually have this disease and Miracle is their spokeswoman.

  • Love 2
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Whimsy

Whimsy

You guys are hilarious. Had to sign up today. I thought Mohmed and stupid Daniel were a train wreck but this show is train wreck every week. But I am hooked...yes, they catfished me. I am in Canada so I went through hell and back setting up a US account. Even went to punjabi.mtv and was still blocked.

Finally got a US account to rewatch a few selected episodes with more commercials than ever.

I am very surprised that nobody mentioned...whatever the [snip] name was...oh yes, Miracle because her crack addicted heroine abusing mom had her as an exchange. The show should have stopped there. I was scratching my head what is an exchange, lovely Miracle explained. Still I was thinking What?

And lovely Miracle went on to make anybody living with Lupus look like some psycho idiots who have nothing better to do than spend their hours at home catfishing people because the disease is so debilitating and that makes it right.

I am actually shocked that they aired this episode.

I feel sorry for the people who actually have this disease and Miracle is their spokeswoman.

.

The Catfisher is Kara. The Catfishee is Miracle. I thought Miracle did a good job explaining her mom's addiction and how she had both of her children by getting pregnant by exchanging sex for drugs. It's horrible. I am so proud of Miracle for (seemingly) pulling herself out of that life and trying to make her life better for her daughter.

I agree that Kara put people with Lupus in a bad light. I admit, I know nothing about Lupus, but it seemed weird for me that every time we saw Kara she seemed perfectly fine. If her husband is working so many hours, it's probably because he HAD to since Kara isn't working.

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ktwo

ktwo

I thought Miracle did a good job explaining her mom's addiction and how she had both of her children by getting pregnant by exchanging sex for drugs. It's horrible. I am so proud of Miracle for (seemingly) pulling herself out of that life and trying to make her life better for her daughter.

Serious kudos. And which of the hosts was dumb enough to ask about her father after that explanation? I can't remember which one it was, but I couldn't believe what a stupid question that was.

  • Love 3
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ethalfrida

ethalfrida

Miracle was such a cutie pie. But Charlemagne got on my nerve. Was it necessary to use the "N" word? Some people are so socially inept they cannot adjust to other environments. I never thought he was entertaining. This episode was a lot more interesting than any last year. 


.

The Catfisher is Kara. The Catfishee is Miracle. I thought Miracle did a good job explaining her mom's addiction and how she had both of her children by getting pregnant by exchanging sex for drugs. It's horrible. I am so proud of Miracle for (seemingly) pulling herself out of that life and trying to make her life better for her daughter.

I agree that Kara put people with Lupus in a bad light. I admit, I know nothing about Lupus, but it seemed weird for me that every time we saw Kara she seemed perfectly fine. If her husband is working so many hours, it's probably because he HAD to since Kara isn't working.

One of our neighbors had lupus and she seemed fine all the time too. Probably when we didn't see her she was dealing with it.

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ratgirlagogo

ratgirlagogo

 

One of our neighbors had lupus and she seemed fine all the time too. Probably when we didn't see her she was dealing with it.

Yes, I think that's common.  One of our friends had lupus also and died a couple of years ago during an operation for heart problems she had developed as a result of the disease.  One of the social problems lupus sufferers have is that when you're symptomatic, you're really, really sick - dangerously ill.  But when you're not symptomatic, it seems like you don't have anything wrong with you and people around you may feel like you're faking or at least exaggerating the seriousness of your condition.

 

Having said that, obviously I don't know if Kara has lupus or not.  She did seem like she was totally full of shit about an awful lot of other stuff.

  • Love 5
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missy jo

missy jo

I really liked Charlamagne “Nev, don’t you follow some angry black man into his house!”

 

I genuinely LOL'd at that. I liked Charlemagne too.

 

Also liked the recap, aside from the Lupus comments, which went beyond Kara specifically. I saw no reason to think she wasn't ill, especially considering the meds, and African-Americans are diagnosed with it at a higher rate.

 

I have it, and that's the thing - you "don't look sick" most of the time. So ... #notalllupies!

  • Love 3
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Gianthambeast

Gianthambeast

Well my mom had lupus nephritis-- it destroyed her kidneys and she was on dialysis.  She was sick all the time and the complications killed her.  But she wasn't bed-ridden till the end and she certainly didn't use the disease as an excuse to maliciously troll people on the internet.  It's nice that Miracle could develop a friendship with this demi-hambeast Kara, but I hate how Kara somehow tried to make it seem like "lupus made her do it."   No, your stupidity and selfishness made you do it.

  • Love 10
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EAG46

EAG46

 

If you're "basic" you are unoriginal and thus able to be dismissed immediately. Wearing Uggs/leggings/going to Starbucks/loving Sex and the City is basic because it's a total sorority girl cliche. Basic can also mean tacky and cheap.

 

Not everyone can be 100% original 100% of the time.  So a lot of people like the same things.  So what?  And if someone is tacky and cheap, call them tacky and cheap.  "Basic" as an insult just...it just doesn't make any sense to me. 

  • Love 1
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Drogo

Drogo

My wife loves Starbucks (Flat White is her new go-to; sounds like a Sherwin Williams paint color to me) and she watches all the Sex and the City reruns.  Starbucks is delicious, and Sex and the City is funny.  It's a sad day when enjoying good stuff that you like becomes a bad character trait. 

 

If it's any comfort, EAG46, the person who would call you (or her) "basic" as an insult is not someone whose opinion either of you would care about.  

  • Love 5
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Neurochick

Neurochick

I think to call someone "basic" means that you wear clothes, or do things, or eat things everybody loves; not because you love them but because everybody's doing it. You're a follower.

 

I felt for Miracle because I believe that couple were really scam artists.  Eventually "Javonni" would have started asking for money for his "music career."  They just got caught before money changed hands.  

 

I get someone being ill and having a fantasy life because they're homebound; but why would her husband get involved as well?  Something doesn't smell right to me.  

  • Love 4
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Oblique Angle

Oblique Angle

(edited)

I agree with Urban Dictionary and think "basic" in the slang sense means unsophisticated and transparent, and perhaps not realizing that you are so. A similar term is "rube".
 

I felt for Miracle because I believe that couple were really scam artists.  Eventually "Javonni" would have started asking for money for his "music career."  They just got caught before money changed hands.

That was my take on it too. It still irks me the way Nev insists on giving people a platform to make excuses for what they've done, and on having the catfish and the catfishee "hug it out". I wonder if this is something MTV requires because they want every episode to have a reasonably happy ending.

Edited by Oblique Angle
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Drogo

Drogo

(edited)

ETA: Jinx, Oblique Angle.  

 

Urban Dictionary's Top Definition for Basic tells me that people who use it didn't pass Chem 101, otherwise they'd have chosen Acidic.  

 

Basic
An adjective used to describe any person, place, activity involving obscenely obvious behavior, dress, action.

Edited by Drogo
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ethalfrida

ethalfrida

Speaking of terminology...

The term catfish is awkward to me. A catfish is a bottom feeder that is tough skinned but when it is caught, cleaned and cooked it is delicious. They do not die easily and have been known to survive for days out of the water. I remember this from when my parents used to catch them and leave them in the cooler until they could get a chance to clean them. The word does not describe the perps on this show.

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Neurochick

Neurochick

That was my take on it too. It still irks me the way Nev insists on giving people a platform to make excuses for what they've done, and on having the catfish and the catfishee "hug it out". I wonder if this is something MTV requires because they want every episode to have a reasonably happy ending.

 

 

I feel the same way.  I have a feeling that MTV does this to cover their asses.  They don't want to leave things with everybody angry at each other probably afraid that if they do that and later there's some sort of retaliation, MTV could be sued or something.  I don't know if that makes sense.  

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Drogo

Drogo

(edited)

In the original documentary, when Nev was catfished, his "catfish"'s husband Vince told him a story that gave the series its name.  

 

He claims that when live cod were shipped from the U.S. to Asia, the fish's inactivity in their tanks resulted in mushy flesh. Eventually, the fishermen discovered that putting catfish in the tanks with the cod kept them active and saved the flesh from mushiness.

 

Vince feels that people like his wife Angela are like catfish, who keep other people active in life.

 

 

From the Wiki page: 

"They used to tank cod from Alaska all the way to China. They'd keep them in vats in the ship. By the time the codfish reached China, the flesh was mush and tasteless. So this guy came up with the idea that if you put these cods in these big vats, put some catfish in with them and the catfish will keep the cod agile. And there are those people who are catfish in life. And they keep you on your toes. They keep you guessing, they keep you thinking, they keep you fresh. And I thank God for the catfish because we would be ... boring and dull if we didn't have somebody nipping at our fin." 

Edited by Drogo
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Drogo

Drogo

(edited)

 

It still irks me the way Nev insists on giving people a platform to make excuses for what they've done, and on having the catfish and the catfishee "hug it out".

 

I don't mind this.  Most therapists will ask you to directly or independently forgive the person who has hurt/damaged you, because forgiving is the only way to move forward in your own life.  Trying to forget without forgiveness is an endless uphill battle.  Once you forgive someone, you can stop considering yourself their victim.  

 

Not that Nev is a qualified therapist, but same idea.

Edited by Drogo
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GaT

GaT

Not everyone can be 100% original 100% of the time.  So a lot of people like the same things.  So what?  And if someone is tacky and cheap, call them tacky and cheap.  "Basic" as an insult just...it just doesn't make any sense to me. 

I think they're using "basic" like  people used to use "common" as an insult.

  • Love 3
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Joimiaroxeu

Joimiaroxeu

It would be possible for the catfishees to forgive the catfish without it being done on camera. I agree with the comment upthread that's it's probably a CYA maneuver by MTV. Whatever, I think in some respects this show has become a training class for potential catfish. Seeing that if they're "caught" by Nev they'll pretty much be given a public pass must be somewhat encouraging.

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fliptopbox

fliptopbox

I had no idea this show was back so now as soon as I am done with this episode of True Life (the forbidden relationship one) so now I have to on demand this. Dammit DirectTV for hiding the MTV channels far from the others that I like to watch.

 

Also, I find Charlemagne to be funny. He's part of the Guy Code cast. At least, that is how I know of him. This should be fun!

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HelloOutThere

HelloOutThere

To me, Charlemagne came across as a total try-hard douche. I'd never heard of him before tonight. He also looked about three feet tall standing next to Nev on the aftershow.

 

 

I also watched Chatfish & I am not impressed with Jonathan

 

Jonathan looked BLAZED as HELL to me on the aftershow. Maybe he needed prepped for the pressure of being on live TV with a fatty blunt. He did look sober in his first videochat with Miracle. I actually found him quite attractive and "Laugh Out Loud"'ed when Nev and Charlmagne called him "normal" and "attainable." B's, please. Neither of you are anything special.

 

Kara reminded me a lot of Macy Gray (maybe because I just watched "Training Day"?). She actually didn't seem too awful to me compared to previous Catfish we've seen. No idea if she was faking Lupus, but she certainly didn't do the disease any PR favors. Shades of Yolanda Foster with her "Lyme [disease] brain."

 

No snark about the "six dollar hair" comment? I hope this episode sets the tone for an extra ratchet season of the show this time around.

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gesundheit

gesundheit

I'm honestly not surprised so many of these are catfisher-initiated. They're in too deep to some con they want to end, and if they end it on Catfish, they not only make a little money and get a little notoriety, they get forgiven on camera instead of punched in the face in private. 

 

It doesn't bother me. It's endlessly entertaining, and the real "twist" of the movie was the tremendous amount of compassion that Nev showed to his catfisher. That's the final act hook of every episode of the show, too, and Nev pretty much bends over backwards giving the person a chance to redeem themselves or at least garner a little pity. I always feel so bad for Nev when the catfisher is just a blatantly shitty person, but then again... those people crack me up.

 

I don't really think Kara invented the lupus. The fact that she talked about it so much in their interactions and then we saw all the prescription meds really lends itself to what she eventually revealed. I'm not inclined to disbelieve her, especially because it hardly mitigates what she did anyway.

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bilgistic

bilgistic

"Javelin" was Apple thinking it knew better than I do. Fixed!

Me, reading: "I'm so confused, and now there's ANOTHER person with an even MORE jacked-up name coming on the scene? Who names their kid after track-and-field?"
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lallalla

lallalla

I didn't see a space for this on its own and since it's basically a sub-episode, I hope it's okay to post here.

 

WHY did this episode need its own follow-up in an episode called "Chatfish"?

And...I'm afraid to sound too bitchy, bc she's not ugly, but why are Char and Nev, in this follow-up, acting like Miracle is the most gorgeous thing on the planet?

 

(ducks for being a mean b---, maybe I'm just cranky this week and things are setting me off).

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