S19.E04: Week 4

[Armchair Critic]

If Chris let out his high pitched giggle while we were in the sack that would definitely kill my lady boner. I picture him as awkward and sweaty, and his huge head (his actual head people, trying to keep this PG rated) looming over me...just NO.

[IncaRoads]

It finally hit me who Britt reminds me of most....Danielle Fishel, AKA Topanga Lawrence from Boy Meets World. AND Girl Meets World, I have seen just recently.

May Britt eventually find her own Cory, cuz Chris certainly ain't him!

[Adeejay]

What I am surprised by was her getting to keep the shoes and earrings. Do they usually do that on the princess date? I can't remember anyone getting to keep stuff before. Correct me if I'm wrong, I probably am, this show doesn't tend to stick with me from one season to the next. If so, I would be sad not to have gotten that date.

 

On Brad 1, Shauna was allowed to keep all the jewelry, a $12,000 designer gown, bag and shoes.  It was quite controversial, because the other lady (Bettina) who also had a 1-on-1, had a cheese, crackers and wine picnic.

[JudyObscure]

How about Jackie on her Rodeo Drive, "Pretty Woman," date?  Didn't she get to keep something?

[backformore]

A great big disgusted UGH if Chris and his friends describe "good sport," this way.   A girl who's a good sport will watch football once in a while instead of going to the mall or laugh when a car goes by and splatters her clothes.  "Good sport," for sex stuff is what fraternity boys try to sell when attempting to get their dates to do dangerous stuff at parties.  It's a bogus, sleazy thing to tell a girl to try and get her to lift her shirt on spring break or take it all off at the lake. If a grown man thinks that's cool and encourages it then he's a creep in my book.  It's one thing to laugh and shake your head over Kaitlyn's antics but it's another thing to praise her for it.  I was giving Chris the benefit of the doubt and thinking he gave Kaitlyn the rose for her  humor but if the rose was a "good sport" award for stripping, then I'm starting to think Britt had a good point.  (Not that she was smart to tell him about it.)

I would have a lot of respect for someone to not accept the rose and give a reason like "I was taking this seriously and don't think that I want to continue if what you're looking for is a woman who takes her clothes off in public."

I wonder if the little speech Chris gave about if you don't think I'm serious about this ,say so and you can leave, is to make sure that nobody refuses a rose at the rose ceremony. It seemed too similar to Andis speech from her season. I bet the producers sense some negativity, and make them give a little speech to avoid surprises at the ceremony.

It also makes for a good fakeout in the previews.

 

EDITED because My autocorrect thought I meant TAKEOUT, not FAKEOUT.

Edited January 28, 2015 by backformore

[MyFangirlLife]

I'm not sure if this has been discussed yet but I didn't see it as I just skimmed through everyone's comments...

My favorite thing about this episode, other than the excellent one-liners...accidental or purposefully made, was the Producers (which is what I call all of the behind the scenes Bachelor people) blatant 'favoritism.' Chris's real-woman, down-to-earth sisters are coming? Better hide all the crazies and little girls by sending them off on a camping trip! Let's just leave the selection of mature women (or the closest we can get to mature women on this show) for them to choose from...because we all know that the rest are just eye candy meant to tempt him away from people who might actually work in his life. It's exactly what I would have done...which is not something I usually say about this show.

 

I write about it a bit more in my weekly Bachelor blog post: Tuesday Walk of Shame - Call Me Princess Farm Wife

[Canada]

Watching the episode this week, I don't think I've ever seen such a group of women on the show who I dislike so much.  I think only Carly and Becca are okay.  Maybe the mysterious Samantha is okay too, I don't know.  I quite liked Jade until I read the spoiler.  I never had a season where so many of the women just bug the shit out of me.  And Chris is not making the show any more tolerable.  I'm having great difficulty finding any good qualities in him. 

[Zahdii]

Chris just isn't leading man material.  In some of the outtakes they showed from when he was vying for Andi's 'heart', they showed him making some funny quips that were off the cuff remarks to things that happened that he didn't expect to make it to the show.  But now that he's the lead, he seems to be terrified to look bad or make a mistake, and it ends up paralyzing him.  And whoever gave him his makeover failed, he looked better before.

 

I wonder what the show would be like if there weren't so much producer interference.  I think there would be fewer candidates for the Bachelor to choose from, less alcohol and more time to talk to each person in the opening show.  Maybe only a few women would leave at first, either because he really couldn't see himself wanting to spend any more time with them, or he felt that their lives wouldn't mesh well at all.  And a few women would realize that they just weren't interested in him.  We could have it narrowed down to 10 women in the first show, especially if the Bachelor wasn't required to keep a certain number of women and he wasn't forced to keep the crazies.

 

It would probably be more boring, but I bet there'd be a much better chance of actual marriages happening.

[saber5055]

 

You mean like bjs?  In high school the really, really religious girls would only do anal so they would still be virgins???????????  This was in the 70s.

I wasn't even going that far in my interpretation of Carly's remark about Ashley's non-virgin mouth. She was shown practically swallowing Chris' face with it; that's as far as my mind went. I'm simple!

 

As for Brit confronting Chris about his approving indecent behavior with his roses: What I took from that was Chris' TH that said, basically, WTH, Brit is WASTING her TIME WITH ME! talking about other women when she could be getting to know ME! That was all about Chris' ego, nothing else. How dare Brit not concentrate on asking Chris about Chris and what Chris wants and how Chris feels. 

 

So Chris made his Andi speech about how he's there to FIND HIS WIFE! and if you want to talk about anyone else besides ME, then go home.

 

Which no one will ever do, and no one will ever refuse a rose, because why miss out on the next "fabulous" date/vacation site?

 

I agree with LittleDog2 that Chris is the second kind of bachelor. I hated his mocking the SLooow tractor race, mimicking how slow they were going, like little old ladies. Then they pitch tents in freaking bikinis ! while Chris is fully dressed. Chris walks a herd of bikini women one freaking MILE down an LA highway while he's fully clothed. This isn't one red flag about what kind of man he is, it's an entire planet of red flags. Me thinks Chris is a biscuits-in-the-oven kind of man.

 

I hate to say it, because I live here, but he has the typical Midwestern farmer mentality toward his "wimen."

 

ETA: I meant to ask all here, what's the thinking about Chris' three sisters all sporting bright, light-blond hair, yet Chris has dark brown hair? What's up with that?

Edited January 28, 2015 by saber5055

[Lone Wolf]

I quite liked Jade until I read the spoiler.  

Unless

the spoiler is supposed to be a big scandalous reveal further down the road, I can't believe that Jade was cast as a contestant.  Isn't ABC supposed to be super family-oriented? Don't they vet these applicants? And of all the contestants, she's Cinderella...that's like appointing Amanda Bynes the spokesperson for the American Psychiatric Association.

 And did anyone else notice that in all her  [Jade's] TH's prior to the date she was Plain Jane in terms of hair and makeup; the better to contrast against the glamour of her as a princess.     

 

I wasn't even going that far in my interpretation of Carly's remark about Ashley's non-virgin mouth. She was shown practically swallowing Chris' face with it; that's as far as my mind went. I'm simple!

 

 

I tend to view the world in absolutes, but even allowing for that I don't understand how she can have Kim Kardashian as a role model and at the same time see herself as a Disney princess. Those are pretty much mutually exclusive, polar opposite concepts, no?  And incidentally, no way has she never had a boyfriend, and I seriously doubt that she's a virgin, and if she is, it's only "technically".

 

I got a kick out of watching Jillian flame out. 

 

 

 

It's a shame that she didn't have a dead husband/father story; she could have bought herself another week.  Regardless, it was short-sighted of Chris to send her home.  A big muscular gal like her would be been right handy 'round the farm; a-totin' them bales and a-plowin' them fields and whatnot.

Edited January 28, 2015 by Rhondinella
spoiler tags; out of an abundance of caution

[Andromeda]

I kind of hate the Bachelor for both types of group dates. It just seems so condescending and not amusing to me at all. Like the women are just rats running a maze for the Bachelor's amusement. This year seems especially egregious since after the contests he doesn't even spend time with them, nor does he prior to the contest. The group 'date' is simply show up, find out what nonsense you will be subjected to and then do it, and then have Chris whisked away with the 'winner'. Then go back home. That doesn't seem like a 'date' to me. 

 

Poor Jillian.  If she had gotten the Cinderella date she would never have been sent home. No way Disney would let the full on commercial break Disney princess be sent packing during their slotted time. It wouldn't be 'romantic'. And if someone told me to dance on a tea cup sized platform for the cameras I wouldn't be able to concentrate on anything other than where the edge was at all times. That was ridiculous. 

 

I can't believe I watch this show. There must be something wrong with me.

I agree, the dates are started to be the humiliating type all the time now. They used to visit wineries, now they either have to race or perform. Why any woman wants to go on this show knowing what's in store is "amazing" to me.

As for the Cinderella date, we also never used to have these blatant plugs for other ABC properties. I find it so tacky. This one was especially bad, with all the princess this and princess that nonsense. What are we, five year olds? This is a family (i.e., children's) live-action remake of a Disney cartoon, fer God's sake! And no, ABC, I am no more inclined to go see it now than I was before. How silly to have that movie be one the two adults see on a date. If they even watched the whole thing, that wasn't clear to me, but the description said they did. Then the whole staging of Jade running down the staircase -- right past the glass slipper -- at the stroke of midnight. Can you say DORKY??

Edited January 28, 2015 by Andromeda

[TiaLou]

I don't understand how she can have Kim Kardashian as a role model and at the same time see herself as a Disney princess.

 

It makes sense to me. Kim K probably thinks *she's* a Disney princess -- it's all about entitlement and luxury.

[sofiah]

Everyone seemed particularly drunk by the end of the camping trip. 

 

Virgin Ashley is beyond annoying.  I really wish Chris would just have responded to her virgin talk with a simple "whatever, I don't care if you're a virgin or not, let's move on".  I want her eliminated, and if/when it happens I am excited to watch. 

 

Thought Britt was also really annoying in her "confrontation".  Seems to me like she feels so confident that she is a front-runner (my guess is she's used to feeling superior to other women due to her being very pretty) that she went into that conversation expecting him to somehow make her feel better, assure her that she was still his favorite, etc.  I got the impression that it really didn't cross her mind that maybe he likes Kaitlyn better then her.  I do wish Chris could have strung together a coherent sentence though.

 

He's a really boring bachelor. 

[saber5055]

I'm still wondering about these dates. Chris keeps saying he's an outdoors-type of guy, yet we don't see him doing anything. It's the women who are competing and doing things. He did do a token jump into the water during the wedding-dress-mud date, but that's it. Otherwise, all he does is jump into lakes, pools and hot tubs with bikini-clad women. And watch them try to catch pigs, milk goats, drive tractors, climb ropes ... everything he doesn't do.

 

Even Emily, who made it clear she was NO WAY adventurous or outdoorsy, had a repel-down-a-building date, and during an incoming thunder/lightning storm on top of that.

 

Has there ever been a TB before who never did anything athletic? Jake did the bridge bungee with Vienna. Even the B-ettes do "this is just like a relationship" athletic things so as to clarify their true love with their (current) date partner. I see Chris talking the talk, but he sure isn't walking the walk.

 

ETA:  Some really good tv would have been for one of Ashley's fake eyelashes to fall off during one of her poor-me sob sessions. I was waiting for/hoping for that, big time.

Edited January 28, 2015 by saber5055

[JenE4]

Then the whole staging of Jade running down the staircase -- right past the glass slipper -- at the stroke of midnight. Can you say DORKY??

 

Yes, it was dorky, but it was also the most dramatic scene of the episode. There's NO WAY IN HELL that I would have been able to RUN down that VERY steep staircase in that long gown and those high heels. I held my breath the whole time waiting for her to go flying down the staircase and break her face. I mean, it looks like Kelsey needs a paramedic while lying at the bottom of a staircase in next week's episode. Maybe it's unrelated and she didn't fall down the stairs. But that would be me--falling down three steps and needing to call 911. Jade ran full speed down 975-ish steps and was a-ok! I think she could have been a contender against Jillian in that mud run!

[Lamb18]

A couple of thoughts on Britt's confrontation with Chris:
1. That type of accusation just puts a guy on the defensive and no good purpose is served. She is not in a close enough relationship with Chris. Whether or not she likes what Kaitlyn did and Chris' response, this is what she signed up for. If she doesn't like it then she needs to ask if she really wants to remain, rather than ask Chris to change or reexamine his priorities.
2. From a pragmatic perspective, complaining about the other girls is a waste of time. The candidates have very limited time with the Bachelor. Why waste that time being negative? She should use it to further her cause, to show herself in a good light, to learn more about him, to let him know more about her, have fun, etc. That conversation put all the focus on Kaitlyn when she could have used it to develop her relationship with Chris.

Edited January 28, 2015 by Lamb18

[Adeejay]

Chris just isn't leading man material. 

 

I have seen every show of every season, so I disagree.  So far, Chris is a much better Bachelor than: Alex, Aaron, Bob, Jesse, Travis, Lorenzo, Jason, Jake, Ben and Juan Pablo.   

Edited January 28, 2015 by Adeejay

[leighdear]

Sorry, I forgot where I was posting.

Edited January 28, 2015 by leighdear
spoiler tags; out of an abundance of caution

[saber5055]

 

Then the whole staging of Jade running down the staircase -- right past the glass slipper -- at the stroke of midnight. Can you say DORKY??

Actually, I was wishing when she got to the bottom of the stairs, she would have grabbed that display-only glass slipper, held it over her head and yelled back at Chris, "COME FIND ME!" before tossing it down on the floor in front of the steps.

 

Now THAT would have been some dork-a-licious tv.

 

 

So far, Chris is a much better Bachelor than: Alex, Aaron, Bob, Jesse, Travis, Lorenzo, Jason, Jake, Ben and Juan Pablo.

Call me cray-zee, but I liked Jake, and I thought Juan Pablo was refreshingly real. To each his or her own!

 

To clarify, my opinions of Jake and JP did change after their seasons were over. But I'm still not a hater of either. Chris ... meh so far. At least he's got a better haircut than Flapjack, although not by much.

Edited January 28, 2015 by saber5055

[Zahdii]

I didn't mean he was worse than some of those others, I haven't seen every season so I don't know about the others.  I just meant that he's not comfortable enough in front of the cameras to be a good lead.  I liked him last season and I'm trying to retain my like.

[Andromeda]

I have seen every show of every season, so I disagree.  So far, Chris is a much better Bachelor than: Alex, Aaron, Bob, Jesse, Travis, Lorenzo, Jason, Jake, Ben and Juan Pablo.   

Hmmm... I don't know about that. Better than some of those, in terms of behaving, but not better TV. Those are different barometers, though. Juan Pablo sucked as The Bachelor, but his season was fascinating in a train-wreck sort of way. Aaron was solid, and I believe sincere. Travis was dull, but OK. I liked Jason's season -- OMG great ending, and he created "doing a Mesnick": crying over the balcony. Great TV right there. Ben sucks in every way, boring AND despicable. His season was saved by the heinousness of his final choice, Courtney. Jake was corny and way OTT with the emotions, but that made for good viewing. Bob started out solid, then quickly made my skin crawl. I loved his 2nd choice (Kelly Jo?) who looked like she was going to push him over the cliff during the final rose ceremony.

 

I figure if I can remember anything at all about those seasons, they're not total failures.

 

One place this season is flunking is the locations. Why did they cut down on the international travel? Is it something Farm Boy isn't into? Or did they think it would take away from the down-home theme? Because it's become one of the show's big attractions.

[Mu Shu]

A great big disgusted UGH if Chris and his friends describe "good sport," this way.   A girl who's a good sport will watch football once in a while instead of going to the mall or laugh when a car goes by and splatters her clothes.  "Good sport," for sex stuff is what fraternity boys try to sell when attempting to get their dates to do dangerous stuff at parties.  It's a bogus, sleazy thing to tell a girl to try and get her to lift her shirt on spring break or take it all off at the lake. If a grown man thinks that's cool and encourages it then he's a creep in my book.  It's one thing to laugh and shake your head over Kaitlyn's antics but it's another thing to praise her for it.  I was giving Chris the benefit of the doubt and thinking he gave Kaitlyn the rose for her  humor but if the rose was a "good sport" award for stripping, then I'm starting to think Britt had a good point.  (Not that she was smart to tell him about it.)

I've been thinking this dude is an undercover asshole all along.

 

I imagine filming the Rose ceremony  losers went  suchly:

 

Production girl/guy:   "Chris,   go walk Juelia out.    Make it look like you care". 

Chris:  "Who is Juelia"?

Production g/g:  "The one whose husband killed himself?"

Chris:  "Oh yeah.   Which one was that again?"

Production g/g (exasperated) "The one with no neck who is not hot?"

Chris:   "Oh!   the plain one I don't want to get any off of.   Good idea to dump that one.  grbh facets?  Uh uh, um wizzle wazzle."   

 

BTW,  watching Chris kiss turns my stomach.   Guys can also get a bit of lip filler, you know.    It's like watching a gecko eat bugs on my window screen.     He's just not that hot.    Take away the faux tan, sort of buff body, and hair gel, and he's Farmer Chris, plain and lipless. 

[reggiejax]

Chris just isn't leading man material.

 

I have seen every show of every season, so I disagree.  So far, Chris is a much better Bachelor than: Alex, Aaron, Bob, Jesse, Travis, Lorenzo, Jason, Jake, Ben and Juan Pablo.

 

Even if Chris were the best, most exciting Bachelor ever, that would still be tantamount to proclaiming Moe to be the most intelligent of the Three Stooges.

 

This franchise sets a very low bar, and anyone looking to be a future Bachelor need only meet the standard set by bundles of charisma and charm like Blob Guiney, Jake Pavelka and Brad "Two Time Loser" Womack. Either that or they must project an international man of mystery vibe, like Ben FluxCapacitor, Juan Pablo or that one guy who was a fisherman.

[saber5055]

You guys crack me up. The best thing about The Bachelor is reading all of you here. Mu Shu, your imagined dialogue was right off of Jimmy Kimmel's chalk board. Brilliant! (And probably pretty close to truth.)

 

And yes, Andromeda, "pulling a Mesnick" has become part of popular lexicon!

Edited January 28, 2015 by saber5055

[NoWhammies]

It's like watching a gecko eat bugs on my window screen.

 

How romantic! Yeah - I agree tho. He's a gross kisser. Especially when he kisses with the virgin. 

[MsPH]

One place this season is flunking is the locations. Why did they cut down on the international travel? Is it something Farm Boy isn't into? Or did they think it would take away from the down-home theme? Because it's become one of the show's big attractions.

 

I was wondering the same thing. Have they explained the reasoning anywhere? I'm sure the women on this season feel cheated. Last season's bunch got to go to Korea, Vietnam, New Zealand and where ever the last two weeks were. This year they're going to New Mexico? How exciting.

Edited January 28, 2015 by MsPH

[Andromeda]

When we ask ourselves why the women don't just leave, and instead put up with crappy Bachelor behavior, I blame the producers for creating the "chain." Each contestant, until they're actually eliminated, holds out hope they could be the next lead. Britt for sure would love that (Hollywood "waitress" that she is.) If each season was a brand-new cast, we'd instead be seeing the women (or men) vie to have the Most Dramatic Exit EVER. Lots of anger, tears, accusations, confrontations. Why not go out in a blaze of glory, if there's no chance ever of being the Big Star? I, for one, would love to see that.

[CrazyDog]

Chris S's blog says that where he comes from they do this all the time -- yell for those in that situation to 'take it off' ... and they're considered 'good sports' I guess.

 

Ugh. I fnd him boring yet generally OK, but this is kind of a red flag. Do you have a link to the blog?

Edited January 28, 2015 by CrazyDog

[Mabinogia]

But now that he's the lead, he seems to be terrified to look bad or make a mistake, and it ends up paralyzing him.

 

 

I do think this is a lot of the problem. He's just so stiff and cautious he is probably afraid of being attacked in any way so he's trying to do everything right which makes him as exciting as dry paint (watching it dry is more exciting). But he comes off as an idiot and a dullard. Oh well. None of them actually care if he's exciting. They are there for screen time and princess dates.

 

Britt basically telegraphed that she is in this to win as opposed to finding out if Chris is her true love because, if she was in this to get to know Chris she would have spent her valuable one on one time getting to know him, or telling him more about her rather than grilling him about why there seems to be a new frontrunner. It came across more as "what is Kaitlyn doing to get roses, will I get roses if I do it too?" Silly, silly girl. But every season there is one who makes this mistake on both versions of the show. So I guess the arrow fell on Britt this time.

 

And I agree with whoever said that the contestants have started playing the game differently now that selecting the next Ette comes from the top few contenders of the current season. Half of them are playing to not win but come close enough to be the next Bachelorette. That means getting their "hook" out there, whether that be single mom looking for love, virgin looking for love, widow looking for love, etc.

 

Out of this group I think the front runners for next Bachelorette are Kaitlyn, Britt and (god help us) Ashley I. They are, to me, the most recognizable personalities right now. The rest are kind of a blur of hair and lipstick

[Lone Wolf]

I was wondering the same thing. Have they explained the reasoning anywhere? I'm sure the women on this season feel cheated. Last season's bunch got to go to Korea, Vietnam, New Zealand and where ever the last two weeks were. This year they're going to New Mexico? How exciting.

There was something said very early on to the effect of he (meaning the producers) wanted to keep it simple this season, to reflect that he's just a simple, aw-shucks, humble farmer from a simple, aw-shucks, humble town in the heartland of America, where men are men and cows are nervous.  

 

Okay, I embellished but that was the gist of it.

[Mu Shu]

I have no clue why they were gasping over the plastic shoes.     I'd much rather have some nice Amouage perfume if luxury items are given out.   Jade was one dowdy looking princess, loubs or no.   Honey, when you try to conceal your tattoos, it makes them look like gangrene. 

 

Must Britt make that blow up doll face of surprise/AKA blowjob face every time anything, no matter how banal (and it's all banal) is announced? 

 

I was really getting into Kelsy and her bitching about the shitty mud hole they were taken to, and hoped it would end with her going all Eric Cartman.   "Screw you guys, I'm going home".   Alas, she didn't but I got a kick out of her daring to question how magical it was hanging out by a mud hole with a bunch of airheads and Chris' big ass, boring head.   

 

Who the hell was Nicki? 

 

Finally,  FunAshley was glassy eyed, and pretty dilated.   She's on something, unless she's under the care of an Ophthalmologist who is compelled to dilate her eyes every time she's filmed.   

[KnoxForPres]

I wouldn't want to derail the thread to ask why you think he'd be "horrific" in bed, but I'm too curious for my own good at times.

Ha! I believe I can stay on topic and explain. I've read other posters rationale and believe they're on point.

I'm yet to see a gleam in his eye that says he's thinking "I want to throw you down on the floor right now" while talking. I swear there is a guy who works at a gas station I frequent that we both trade the come hither eyes. Would I? No. But it's old school, makes your toes curl attraction. Amongst Cheetos and Natty Light! He doesn't seem to have that with any of these attractive girls in created for sex settings.

The guy is boring. So boring I am never able to remember what he looks like. Oddly, and this is funny, I see Brad Womack (who I think would have all the right moves) or that Chris Bukowski guy when trying to get a visual. I've no idea why I see them, but he's so forgettable, I, well, forget. Man has zip sex appeal.

He's not funny. Generally confident and funny guys are the ones you think "well, yeah, that wasn't my finest first night decision but damn it that was nice". Like when he stumbled with Britt. Has he no self confidence to support his choices or is he just stupid? All signs point to a night of fast missionary and him smoking an Ecig feeling like a ladies man.

And the girl googling "what if Arie had been the bachelor".

[Canada]

Blowjob Face!  Ha!!  Awesome.  That's the name for Britt from now on. 

[CorgiNarnia]

Every season most of the girls remind me if someone. I thnk Jade looks like Katie Holmes. Whitney looks like Jenna Elfman. Ashley S. looks like a young Jessica Lange. Any other thoughts?

 

 

When Chris said all he could see was unicorns, I pictured him seeing little birds and faeries and unicorns flying in a circle around Jillian's head, interspersed with stars and rainbows.

 

Lookswise, Jade reminds me of Laura Leighton back when she was on Melrose Place in the 80s.

I had been thinking Jade looks like Robin Tunney, but I can definitely see the other suggestions.

[KnoxForPres]

This seems like blaspheme, but I thought the young, alien focused mom favored Natalie Portman a few times this week.

[jette]

As for the Cinderella date, we also never used to have these blatant plugs for other ABC properties. I find it so tacky. This one was especially bad, with all the princess this and princess that nonsense. What are we, five year olds? This is a family (i.e., children's) live-action remake of a Disney cartoon, fer God's sake! And no, ABC, I am no more inclined to go see it now than I was before. How silly to have that movie be one the two adults see on a date. If they even watched the whole thing, that wasn't clear to me, but the description said they did. Then the whole staging of Jade running down the staircase -- right past the glass slipper -- at the stroke of midnight. Can you say DORKY??

 

Andromeda, we're forgetting that there are adults that marry/honeymoon at Disney World and brides who use Cinderella's carriage to arrive at said weddings, probably wearing glass slippers. Perhaps bookings are down for the Cinderella suite - aren't they raising rates again? - so DisneyABC is trying to drum up business with the movie. 

[Lamb18]

This seems like blaspheme, but I thought the young, alien focused mom favored Natalie Portman a few times this week.

McKenzie has strongly reminded me of someone and it's bugged me that I couldn't remember who.  The best I can come up with is someone from America's Next Top Model.  I do see the Natalie Portman resemblance.

[undeadgoat]

So I haven't actually seen this week's episode yet (I only decided yesterday that I was going to watch Chris's Season) but I have a VERY IMPORTANT note about geography to make--Chris keeps talking about how Arlington is in "Northwest Iowa" but if you actually look at a goddamn map it is in NORTHEAST Iowa. COME ON. (I also have a few doubts about Chris's "right reasons-ness" but won't expound on them until I'm actually caught up.)

[Adeejay]

Blowjob Face!  Ha!!  Awesome.  That's the name for Britt from now on. 

 

[snip] I think Britt is drop dead gorgeous.  However, I find it hard to believe that someone who looks like that would have to resort to a reality television show to find a man, so I question her motives for being there.  I enjoy this show; it is my guilty pleasure.  Call me crazy but I don’t watch shows I don’t enjoy.  I can’t remember a season when folks didn’t complain about the Bachelor/ette.  Given its horrific record when it comes to lasting relationships, why not just sit back and enjoy it for what it is – mindless entertainment/total train wreck.

Edited January 29, 2015 by Rhondinella

[nicolin]

I loved Ashley I Lash's voiceover explaining how she's marriage material and not just a hook up as the producers show her lunging for and engulfing Chris's head in the tent. Too funny.

[truthaboutluv]

Given its horrific record when it comes to lasting relationships, why not just sit back and enjoy it for what it is – mindless entertainment/total train wreck.

 

 

Hey, I totally watch for the mindless entertaining trainwreck. It's why I always bet on the couples breaking up. Sure there have been some I thought had a better shot (Ashley/JP and Des/Chris) than others and surprisingly they were some of the ones who got married, but I still would not have been shocked by a split. So I'm totally up for the snark but in my opinion, what's killing this season is Chris. He is not a trainwreck or a mess or entertaining, etc. - he's just boring as fuck. And the contestants' insanity has been somewhat entertaining but even they aren't interesting enough to keep me engaged. And hell he got rid of Ashley S. and her awesome insanity. 

 

As someone noted, yes Juan Pablo is and probably will always be the worst Bachelor but the season was still entertaining as hell in all its trainwreck glory. And as someone who has no love for Andi, I actually think she was a very good Bachelorette. She had interesting conversations with the guys, had real chemistry with a couple of them, etc. Chris so far is just this big boring lunk having awkward sloppy makeouts with just about every woman. It's boring. 

Edited January 29, 2015 by truthaboutluv

[JenE4]

I think that even a "bad" Bachelor--i.e., someone who's There for the Wrong Reasons, such as Juan Pablo--still makes for better TV than a boring Bachelor. For instance, I think Chris and Sean--and let's throw in Jake, too--were pretty boring. Sean actually had a lot more personality than Chris, but at the time (without Chris on TV for comparison) I thought Sean was pretty bland. I think they both suffer from that same issue of just jumping in for a kiss because they have NOTHING to say rather than, wow, we're making such a connection right now, I want to kiss you! However, I'd put the likes of Juan Pablo, Ben, Bob, and Charlie in that category of being a TERRIBLE "catch," so why would anyone want to compete for them?! So, from that perspective, they were bad Bachelors. They were all downright degrading to the contestants! HOWEVER, because they were so icky, that still made for good TV! So, yeah, throw my vote in that I'd prefer a bad Bachelor over a boring Bachelor--and Chris is just boring!

[NikSac]

I agree with those who've said Chris has turned out to be super boring. In real life, I prefer boring with excitement once in awhile. In a TV show, I want interesting at least most of the time. Even if it's trainwreck interesting.

[saber5055]

I have to agree Chris is boring, which disappoints me since I was all for a farmer TB, being a corn-belt-kid myself. But so far, he could be any man. He hasn't talked about all the land they farm, how he grew up driving a tractor at age 9 (or whatever), or his trucking company or real estate deals ... or anything. He hasn't talked about ANYTHING that we've heard. All we know is, "his wife is in this room." Barf.

 

Then when he asked Jillian to tell him about herself, he got all p*ssed off and sent her home when she did.

 

I'm afraid Chris is 1. a victim of Juan Pablo backlash, where he must conform to milque-toastiness; and 2. really is a dull farm guy who want a biscuits-in-the-oven wife. Farmers don't even want dogs in the house, they are strict about all animals being "livestock" and they belong outside. He is really getting the male chauvinist edit. Whether he is or not (his wimen are there for him to kiss whenever he feels like it, to watch bend over in micro-bikinis and to never question him), that's how he will be remembered.

 

Chris H. said on one talk show before TB started that they were staying in the United States this time to concentrate on the All American Down Home Farm Boy Middle American Theme That Is Chris Soules.

 

You'd think they could at least go a bit farther than one-half-hour away though. So far, the travel porn has been non-existant.

[deSchenke]

You'd think they could at least go a bit farther than one-half-hour away though. So far, the travel porn has been non-existant.

 

When they arrived at the bridal mud-run. they were told they were in San Francisco!  Obviously they weren't in the city, but perhaps in the greater bay area.  But why not do more things in SF?  For what they did, run through a muddy obstacle course, they could have stayed in Southern CA.

[backformore]

It does seem that whoever dreams up these "dates"  is hell-bent on humiliating the women, doesn't it?  along with previous seasons where women were directed to be naked (for CHARITY!), they have to parade around a city in bikinis, pitch tents in bikinis, wrestle a pig (at least they were dressed), clean up shit,  do a muddy obstacle course in long dresses.  All for the attention of a guy who  is - AVERAGE in looks, personality, charm.   

[leighdear]

In all fairness, Andi got a live strip show of a bunch of her guys.  And another group had to sing in public with Boys2Men.  And do I REALLY need to remind everybody about the mime episode?

 

Emily's guys had to perform Shakespeare, in England, In Stratford-on-Avon.  Romeo & Juliet by just the guys.  After watching "Brave", they guys had to do Highland games....In kilts.  

 

Dez made the guys create that humiliating "Right Reasons" rap.  Plus, they had to do that "Bachelorette Mr. America" show in Atlantic City. 

 

Seriously, I just don't see any more humiliation this season than many others.

[pitchy]

Ugh. I fnd him boring yet generally OK, but this is kind of a red flag. Do you have a link to the blog?

 

I somewhat mischaracterized that in saying it was something they do there all the time  (though it well may be the way he described it).

 Here's the whole quote about it and also the URL to the blog itself, which is somewhat more entertaining than Chris S . is on TV:

 

===

"In contrast, Kaitlyn was clearly having a blast.

Now, I know there's been a lot of reaction to Kaitlyn's little mooning trick off the dock, but what you don't know is that the whole group of us was playing Truth or Dare. She was dared to do that and took on the challenge, as did Ashley I. with her bikini top. It's a classic camping game, and it was all in good fun. Come on people, it was just a tush!"

===

 

  http://www.people.com/article/chris-soules-bachelor-blog-episode-4http://www.people.com/article/chris-soules-bachelor-blog-episode-4

[pitchy]

Every season most of the girls remind me if someone. I thnk Jade looks like Katie Holmes. Whitney looks like Jenna Elfman. Ashley S. looks like a young Jessica Lange. Any other thoughts?

 

Whitney, during wedding-crash episode reminded me of Cate Blanchett during some darker lighting.

 

  I couldn't remember Megan's face before but noticed this last week that she looks like a combo of Elizabeth Mitchell (Lost) and Elizabeth Hasselbeck (The View + FoxNews).

 

  (I just saw that one of the gals who got non-Rosed early was a cadaver-tissue saleswoman !)

[lulee]

Whitney, during wedding-crash episode reminded me of Cate Blanchett during some darker lighting.

 

  I couldn't remember Megan's face before but noticed this last week that she looks like a combo of Elizabeth Mitchell (Lost) and Elizabeth Hasselbeck (The View + FoxNews).

 

  (I just saw that one of the gals who got non-Rosed early was a cadaver-tissue saleswoman !)

And why wouldn't she be in cadaver tissue sales? It's so fun! She kept telling us so!