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ElectricBoogaloo

12 Monkeys Quotes

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Ramse: Time travel without the time.

Cassie: There is no "we," remember?

Ramse: You all right?
Cole: Yeah, I just got shot at. I'm great.

Cole: You don't know what you're walking into. Jennifer told me there's nothing but death at Titan. You won't find [the Witness]. You'll kill yourself trying.
Ramse: I'm already dead. You can't know. You never had a family. You've never been a father.
Cole: I always thought you were my family.
Ramse: I love you too.

Deacon: Consider this a little end of the line party. I'm going out the way I came in. What do you say? You want to sword fight? Relax. You couldn't take me.

Cole: Of all the things, I never thought it would be Cassie that would take you down.
Deacon: Contrary to popular belief and my sociopathic tendencies, a heart beats in this chest.
[Deacon gives Cole the finger]

Deacon: I knew my days with [Cassie] were numbered when you came back.
Cole: It's never been like that.
Deacon: But Ramse? Who'd have thought he'd put a flag in it?
Cole: Ugh, it's not like that either.
Deacon: I got an idea. Why don't we have a drink and talk about killing Ramse? Just like the old days.

Deacon: Let's go save the-
[Deacon pukes]

Cassie: Where is [Cole]?
Ramse: You think I'd kill him in cold blood?
Cassie: I don't know anymore.

Jones: This is the second time you've pointed a gun at me, Mr. Ramse. I assure you, there won't be a third.
[Jones headbutts Ramse]

Ramse: Take your guys, seal up all the access points - gates, tunnel, fence, everything.
Whitley: Everything is already sealed.
Cassie: Except everything Cole just unsealed before he left.

Daughter: Mother won't leave. There's something wrong with her. She's been saying a lot of strange things lately.
Cole: Sounds like regular Jennifer to me.

Jennifer: Mayday, mayday! Terrorists have taken over the Nakatomi building, Century City!
Cole: I don't know what that means.
[Jennifer looks deeply disappointed]
Jennifer: It mean McClane and I know why you're here. They've got your machine and you want me and my daughters to be the cavalry.
Cole: Will you help?
Jennifer: Have I ever said no to you? Self-preservation was never my thing.

Jennifer: The thing I've learned is that a leader needs to make sacrifices. It's the price of taking people on. Are you willing to let someone you love die for your mission, for the good of the world?

Deacon: Make a wish!

[Jennifer touches Deacon's face]
Deacon: See something you like, granny?
Jennifer: Not yet.

Deacon: Sorry, Cassie.
Cassie: I get it. It's not personal.
Deacon: Oh, no. It's personal. Honestly, I could care less if Cole makes it back to 19-whatever or not but a chance to piss on you and Jose, well, that was too much to pass up.
Ramse: Jesus Christ, Teddy! Get over it!
Deacon: My name is Deacon!

Cole: This didn't have to happen.
Jennifer: It already did.

[Jennifer splinters from 2016 to 2044]
Jennifer: Omigawd, that was amazing! Again, again! Whoa, there is going to be a long line for this one next year! You gotta be at least this tall, no heart conditions, and definitely no preggers.

2044 Jennifer: Hello, egg. I'm chicken.
[2016 Jennifer approaches]
2044 Jennifer: Not too close or we'll both go boom. May I have a moment to myself, please?

2044 Jennifer: I love you. I know that's a really weird thing to hear but later you'll need to remember that. Okay, I'm dying now.

Ramse: You even know what's out there? You can't navigate those storms.
Jennifer: I got a yellow brick road right here in my head, chief.

Edited by ElectricBoogaloo

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Deacon: Uh oh! Try not to die.

Jennifer: If I'm being frank, my daughters are assholes. They fight, ridiculous eyeshadow, and serious, serious mommy issues.

Charlie: Not everything the Witness said was true.

Deacon: Why would you walk towards the weird music?

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Jennifer: Daughters of Earth, I am Jennifer Goines. As we speak, an army of death awaits our friends in Titan, but we can face that death head on and save them. I see in your eyes the same fear that would take the heart of me. A day may come when the courage of women fails and we forsake our friends and all bonds of fellowship but it is not this day. This is our chance, our one chance to tell our enemies that they can take our lives but they'll never take our freedom. Today we celebrate our independence day!
[the Daughters turn away]
Jennifer: Screw you. I'll do it myself. Lazy! Forget it. Come on, Cole. Let's go.
Daughter: You're leaving us? You'd sacrifice your life for them?
Jennifer: Yeah. I would. I don't know what old me taught you but clearly she forgot the most important lesson.
Daughter: Which is?
Jennifer: Be excellent to each other.

Deacon: Nothing good makes that sound.

Deacon: Get the hell out of here.
Jennifer: Deacon, no!
Deacon: I'm sorry I killed you. Go!

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3x01

Future Cole to Our Cole: "Greetings, Asshole.  I'm future Asshole."

 

3x02

Dr. Adler: "Dear god, she's back." (on the return of Jennifer)

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Jennifer: Where am I right now? Somewhere warm, safe, with people who care about me? Nope. Not me.

Jennifer's postcard to Cole:
Otter eyes! Been here since 1917 WTF!!

[Jennifer reads newspaper headline]
Jennifer: "Obscure actress J.H. Bonde murders theater owner." Obscure?

Jennifer: FIVE YEARS! I've been here ALONE, by myself for FIVE YEARS and you're asking about Cassie, about Ramse? What about me?  What about "Hey, Jennifer, we really missed you. How did you survive World War I?" Hey, I'm really glad you asked because I was a prisoner of war! And you, Grandma Time! Check your mail? I've been sending you messages, leaving clues. I even wrote an album. "Deliverez-moi de France." Rescue me from France. "Toujours en dix-neuf vingt-un." Still in 1921.

Cole: How do I find his three buddies?
Jennifer: Uh, splinter back thirty minutes ago and ask him.

Jennifer: Do I want to go back to lattes and spin class and waiting for the apocalypse to happen in 2016?

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Cole: It's Ramse.
Jones: Yes, but we need to know which Ramse is in there. The grieving father? The loyal friend? Or the man who spent decades taking orders from that very woman? Truthfully, Mr. Cole, could you tell the difference?

Jennifer: Whatever you do, know this. That is not a woman. It's a chameleon. Whatever you see is what [Olivia] wants you to see. And if she smiles at you, it's because she wants you dead.

Jones: This place is so steeped in bull shit, it's the truth I find hardest to believe.

Jones: My friend's friend is no more trustworthy than my enemy's enemy.

Ramse: You got your kid back. I lost mine - twice. I bury my boy every day. And I'm tired. I'm not afraid of dying because I know I've got it coming. I do. I know it. Not until I get the Witness.

Olivia: I'm strangely never more uncomfortable than when I'm comfortable.

Hanna: It's one thing to be a warrior. It's another to be a barbarian.

Ramse: Whatever future happens, I want you to know that you are my family in all of them.

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Cole: What is that, a library?
Ramse: Do libraries have food?

Adler: The machine is not a dormitory!

Jones: This is an evidence board, not your portrait studio.

Cole: That don't look like bread, cupcake.
Otero's Guy: Who the hell are you?
Ramse: Health inspector, shit head. Surprise inspection.

Ramse: Mysterious Mr. We Honor Time with Patience.
Cassie: Yeah, we've met.
Ramse: His bedside manner and culinary skills are for shit but he gave me directions out of here.

Jennifer: Stop it.
Olivia: What?
Jennifer: Please stop talking like a super villain.

Jennifer: Do you smell that? Woo! Ladies, do you smell that? Hose this one down because she's covered in bull shit! Horse puckey! Hogwash! Hooey and poppycock!

Jennifer: You've got plans inside plans, lies to explain lies. Your spirit animal is a turducken!

Olivia: I'm only human.
Jennifer: No, you're not. That's a lie.

Ramse: So when'd you know?
Cole: The second you showed up with Olivia. But I wanted to believe you. I always want to believe you. And you always let me down.

Cole: That was the first time you called me brother. You said we were family. I loved you for that.

Ramse: One life for seven billion.
Cole: You don't get to say that to me!

Ramse: We always try to do the right thing. We just end up doing it the wrong way.

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Past Jennifer: Primaries! They're trying to tell you something!
Present Jennifer: *holds up sketches* Could they do it in English please?
Future Jennifer: Yeah, that was always annoying.

 

Cassie: I thought you were inevitable. Written. Every little kick was like a knife in my heart. When you left me, I felt... free. But then I saw you, only for a second. You were crying. And small. And I knew that you were--
Athan: Good?
Cassie: Nothing. You were nothing. Not yet. Whoever you are today is not who you have to be tomorrow.

Edited by coppersin
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Jennifer: #primaryproblems

Deacon: Assault on Monkey Mansion, storm the castle? I like it. I want in!
Jennifer: Too risky. Causality snafus up the wazoo.

Deacon: If you're pulling a heist, I want in!

Cole: This place is for rich assholes. While Deacon may have the asshole part down pat, none of us pass for rich.

Jennifer: Caroline Markridge, wealthy heiress, compulsive shopper, borderline hoarder.

Jennifer: Scooby Doo tiptoe style through the storage area.

Jennifer: This table will self destruct in five seconds. I'm going to need all your sizes. I have some costume ideas.

Jones: Ms. Goines, remember - your plan, your mission, your responsibility. If it goes awry, please have the good sense to pull back.
Jennifer: Any other advice, Jonesy?
Jones: Don't fuck up.
Jennifer: Real Tony Robbins, this one.

Cassie: How secure is this secure storage? We expected more vault, less shelving.

Deacon: 1989, what a trip. You know they're playing Genesis in the lobby? You really shouldn't let Jennifer dress you. I will have a scotch neat with a beer back. Cheers to you. I gotta say, you surprised the hell out of me.
Cole: How's that?
Deacon: Ramse. I didn't think you had it in you. He's dead and you did not fire up the machine to go and save him. So much for the bromance.
Cole: That's how he wanted it.
Deacon: Jose grew a conscience in his final moments? Color me surprised.
Cole: He did what he thought was right.
Deacon: Bull shit. He's no martyr. His whole "I gotta kill the world to save my son" - selfish prick.
Cole: Shut your mouth.
Deacon: Please. He barely knew that kid. It's probably for the best because Ramse was not a good guy. None of us are. Sam would have turned out the same way.

Jennifer: Okay, guys, Heat, Inside Men, Ocean's Eleven, Thomas Crowne Affair. We need a Trojan horse!

Cassie: How many antique cars does your father have?
Jennifer: Enough to need a warehouse. He likes to collect things, keep them locked up.
Cassie: Was it weird? Pretending to be your mother?
Jennifer: I didn't have to go all method or anything. That would require being 100% more homicidal.
Cassie: We could change that for you. It's 1989. Your mother tries to drown you in 91. We could warn somebody, maybe get you some help.
Jennifer: I don't know who I'd be if I wasn't the kid whose mom tried to kill her. It's sort of a defining moment in one's life, you know. What about you? All this time traveling - you ever think of going back to see your mom? Get that goodbye?
Cassie: Lately I find myself missing the talks we never got to have. There's a lot I wish I could ask her.

Who'd you say this [car] belonged to?
Jennifer: Bugsy Segal.
Deacon: Siegal.
Jennifer: Mobster, bootlegger, criminal visionary.
Deacon: He founded Las Vegas.
Jennifer: I hear that Warren Beatty is going to do a film about him.
Deacon: I'd see that.

Jennifer: I have a cotillion to go to!
Security guard: Sal, hot lady's got a cotillion to go to.
Deacon: I don't even know what a cotillion is.
Sal: A cotillion is a formal ball, especially one where debutantes are presented.
Jennifer: No, it is not!

Cole: Retrace your steps.
Cassie: These are my steps!

Sal: I got time to do a quick shit?
Security guard: How long do you need?
Sal: A three.
Security guard: Three hours?
Sal: No. A number three.
Security guard: You said three. What's a number three?
Sal: Pee and shit at the same time. 2+1=3
Security guard: You ever do a four?
Sal: Once by accident at LaGuardia Airport in 1982.
Security: Two twos with a break?
Sal: No, four number ones in a row.

Jennifer: Do you think that's an armadillo or an aardvark?

Auctioneer: The bar is open - thank God.

Leland: Can you at least put your gun away? You're frightening my daughter.
4 year old Jennifer: Yay, this is fun!
Deacon: Are you sure about that?
Leland: Christ, Jennifer, can't you be normal for once?

[Deacon waves a huge ring in front of 4 year old Jennifer]
Deacon: Look, sparkly!
[Deacon gives the ring to Jennifer]
Deacon: Listen, kid. I'm going to tell you something very important, okay? Your dad is an asshole. Never forget that.

Jennifer: The thieving and burglary and pilfering.
[Jennifer hits the auction lady in the head]
Jennifer: Oh, sorry, sorry, sorry. I'm sorry. Miss Scarlett with the candlestick in the library.

Leland: I gotta say you look just like her. You got my wife's whole crazy eyes going.
Jennifer: I do.

Leland: What is the play? Your friend out there is the distraction while you grab a couple Monets?
Jennifer: Not really an oil painting kind of girl. Charcoal's more my thing.
Leland: That's good. They don't let you use oils in prison. The cleaning agents are combustible. I'm going to have you locked up.
Jennifer: But I'm going to survive it. My life's so much bigger now. And one day you're going to die and that'll be the day when she really starts to live.

Jennifer: Making copies, making copies.

Cassie: As long as [my watch] is on your wrist, it means we'll always find our way back to each other.

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Agent Stack: Brighten up, sunshine. Any day you bust through a door and find a guy getting his jollies off instead of catching some commie's bullet, it's a good day!

Gale: I wish I could say it's good to see you.

Jones: Do we need this wall?
Adler: It's load bearing, so yes.
Jones: That's unfortunate.

Cassie: You're the one who's afraid we're stuck in a loop so let's break out of it. Let's change something. Let's save someone.

Jennifer: I see dead people.

Deacon: Seriously, how am I not on [the Word of the Witness]?

Jennifer: This is how it starts. Visions, people, places, things, and it always ends in a lock and a tiny padded room.

Deacon: Your name's on [the Word of the Witness]. Mine isn't. You have a purpose. You are part of all of this. That story she told about you having your giggle stick shot off - you copping to that too?
Cole: Trust me, if that had happened, we wouldn't be in this situation.

The Missionary: They say that time heals all wounds. I believe it creates them.

Cassie: Every faith, religion, cult, 12 monkeys - they all promise the same thing, something beyond this, either an end to your pain or a reason for it.
Gale: People just want to believe they have control over their own fate.

Cole: When I call you in 61, just call me a douchebag and hang up.
Gale: I don't know what a douchebag is but I'll definitely call you something.

Jennifer: Hi, time. Long time listener, first time caller.

Deacon: Is that the same tortoise? Does Jones know you brought back a paradox in a half shell?

Deacon: I am not a goddamn redshirt. I have a purpose.

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Deacon: "Voilà" is usually supposed to express satisfaction or approval. I'm not getting either from that piece of shit.

Deacon: You want to pull people together, you put them through hell. You want to split people apart, give them a secret.

Jennifer: Raritan National Laboratory sure gets handsy.

Cole: Just act naturally.
Jennifer: I am a natural actor but I have never acted naturally in my life.

[Jennifer holds up a sprig of mistletoe]
Jennifer: Whaddya say, sailor?
Labcoat: Actually, I'm not military. This is not a navy installation.
Jennifer: What would you say if I told you I was just a nerdy typist with a thing for Asimov and magnets?
Labcoat: Magnets are my nine to five so I can't say that I'm drawn to them.
Jennifer: I guess opposites attract.
[Labcoat laughs]
Jennifer: Tour of the lab? Whaddya say?
* yes, IMDB lists this character's name as Labcoat

Cole: It used to be all I wanted was forgiveness. Now I just want it to end.

Sebastian: The boy is my charge, not the man. If he believes the future is written, then no choice shall ever truly be his own. Perhaps there is what may be and what is meant to be.

Cassie's mother:  Nobody wants to think that something that came from them can be worse than them. You can make a bad thing and still be good.

Cassie's mother: Never give up on family. It's what you do, win or lose. I's what mothers do.

Jones: Why would Mr. Cole kill his brother if not for you? Why would Ramse want to kill you if not for his brother? Betrayal requires blindness. You lied to me. You made what family we had into fools.

[Jennifer finds the chosen women]
Woman: Whatever this is, we're not a part of it!
[Jennifer lowers her gun, Deacon enters and shoots them all]
Jennifer: They were giving up! They're good!
Deacon: I'm not.

Boy Witness: You're like me. You're primary.
Jennifer: I don't think I've ever been like anybody. I don't think you're like me at all. I think you're better.
Boy Witness: But one day I think that you will be the best of us all.

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Jones: I see you have enjoyed your library.
Olivia: Yes, thank you for the books. Self help, enlightenment, how to read crystals. What you did to me with the machine was more humane.

Jones: Imagine for a moment you were me. What would you do?
Olivia: Quit smoking.

Jennifer: This is wrong.
Deacon: When are you going to realize that there is no right?
Jennifer: What happened to you?
Deacon: Bullets, care of Dr. Railly. The ironic thing is I taught her to shoot.
Jennifer: Did you also teach her how to miss every vital organ? Because she did. On purpose.
Deacon: What a sweetheart.

Jennifer: Lasky, time for some real talk. Olivia - yay or nay?
Lasky: Nay.
Jennifer: Killing our friends:?
Lasky: Nay.
Jennifer: Big nay.
Lasky: Super nay.

Jennifer: I gotta go. London, 1899. You have the coordinates. Just send me back. They're going to kill Cole and Cassie if I don't get to them first.
Lasky: Jones will kill me.
Jennifer: Please.
Lasky: I would have to be at gunpoint.
Jennifer: Like this?
{Jennifer holds up her finger guns]
Lasky: Oh no. I fear for my life.

Cole: Who would celebrate a plague?
Cassie: There's nothing rich people like celebrating more than their own privilege and survival. Sick is only sick if it happens to rich people.

Cole: I can't see my feet. I don't know what I'm doing.
Cassie: How do you walk? Do you walk staring at your feet?

Cole: I'm a natural [dancer].
Cassie: Well, I wouldn't go that far.

Cassie: I'm sorry.
Deacon: From now on, apologies are issued in blood.

Jones: Such devotion for one murderous child.

Cole: Things can change. People can change.
Jones: New beginnings have only ever led us to old enemies. I have known in my life two great agonies: the pain of losing a child and the pain of being betrayed by one. Did it ever occur to you to tell me the truth?

Jones: The right thing the wrong way. Says the man who shot his own brother in the back.

Jennifer: They have vays of making you talk.

Sebastian: He didn't want his future. He despised it. H wanted a future that was his own.

Sebastian: How often we must defy our friends for what we believe in.

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3 hours ago, ElectricBoogaloo said:

Jennifer: Lasky, time for some real talk. Olivia - yay or nay?
Lasky: Nay.
Jennifer: Killing our friends:?
Lasky: Nay.
Jennifer: Big nay.
Lasky: Super nay.

This was one of my favorite exchanges of the whole season.

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Boy: We heard you were a spook, not a squatter.
Jennifer: I'm a lot of things, kiddo: brainiac mental patient, CEO-slash-corporate terrorist, future psychic gypsy pirate. But I ain't no squatter, bro.


Olivia: You are the Witness.
Athan: No, that's where you're wrong. But I witnessed. It just took her for me to see. Life isn't measured by clocks. And though you have an army at your back, you are alone and that is why you will lose.

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Athan: Why the mask?
Eliza: If you're promising death, best to look the part.

Old 2044 Jennifer: Listen. The voices aren't just us, kiddo.
2046 Jennifer: Who are they then?
Young 2015 Jennifer: The others like us - primaries. They're trying to tell you something!
2046 Jennifer: Could they do it in English, please?
Old 2044 Jennifer: Yeah, that was always annoying.

Deacon: I killed [Jennifer] once. I am not going to let [Jones] or [Jennifer] do it again.

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Deacon: When are you going to reach your threshold for batshit? You want to send [Olivia's] consciousness up the time stream?

Jones: So this is all that is left for us? Killing one another for what we believe?
Cole: When I first met you, I had nothing. You're the one who gave me something to believe in.
Jones: Yes, that the life of one is not worth that of seven billion.
Cole: It was to you.

Athan: This is the part where we run.

Olivia: I always wondered - why the mask?
Athan: If you're going to promise death, best look the part.

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Cole to Cassie: What IS your problem? 

 

Cole: Been drinking whisky sours, they're really good.

Cassie: Oh my God, you like it here.

Cole: What's not to like?

 

Jennifer: You're watching the hands, not the face. *proceeds to bite Cole on the hand*

(Yes, I rewound that scene about five times, kills me every time)

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Jones: Trust me - one last time.

Mallick: How do you wish to proceed?
Olivia: Simply. Kill them all.

Deacon: Uh, guys. New problem. Olivia's got herself a Death Star.

Deacon: Don't you assholes leave without me!

Cole: Housekeeping dropped the ball, huh?

Cole: The secret to the universe is chock full of nuts.

Jennifer: Thomas Crown ain't got nothing on us!
Run Lola Run Jennifer: Quiet. I'm working.
Jennifer: Uh, so am I.

Jennifer: Abort catchphrase!

Jennifer: How are you so awesome?
Run Lola Run Jennifer: You tell me.

Jennifer: Imaginary friends aren't supposed to be dicks.

Edited by ElectricBoogaloo

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Bonham: I find when the future is uncertain, the past never matters more.

Jennifer: The artist formerly known as primary.

Cole: We keep trying to do the right thing the wrong way.
Ramse: There's no right or wrong. There's no good or bad. You just gotta do what matters in the moment.

Jennifer: Being crazy's my thing. If I don't have that, what am I?
Run Lola Run Jennifer: Brave, impulsive, irrationally rational. Being primary's got nothing to do with it. You don't need the voices anymore. You got you.

Run Lola Run Jennifer: Okay, I'm dying now. Don't forget your passport.

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Certainty is the faith of cowards.

Jennifer: Which Cole are you?
Cole: The last one I'm ever going to be. My friends have been calling me Future Asshole.

Cole: Get [other Cole] a cheeseburger.

Jennifer: I found this ouroboros puzzley doodad kind of thing.

Jennifer: See? I told you I could find him.
Cole: This is the nineteenth Bonham!

Jennifer: You know, with the right paperwork and format, catchphrases can be proprietary.

Cole: I know I should be used to this but I'm going to ask you anyway - how do you know me?

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1 hour ago, ElectricBoogaloo said:

Cole: Get [other Cole] a cheeseburger.

I kind of love that future-Cole has such, I don’t know, compassion or sympathy for his younger self and wants to take care of him.

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S1:
Cole: Where are you right now? Somewhere warm? Safe? Next to someone you love? Now what if all that was gone and the only thing you could do is survive? You would, right? You'd try. You'd do things, horrible things, until you lose that last thing you have left - yourself. But what if you could take it back? All of it. A reset switch. You'd hit it, right? You'd have to even if you didn't want to. Because sometimes the choice isn't even yours. It's fate.

S2:
Cassie: Where are you right now? Somewhere you don't belong? Wondering, "Who have I become?" Living a life you thought you'd never have to? Doing things, horrible things, you never thought you'd be capable of? No matter how hard you fought, you'd have to live with it. You'd adapt, transform, evolve. Metamorphosis. But sometimes you have to accept not every caterpillar becomes a butterfly.

S3:
Jennifer: Where am I right now? Somewhere warm, safe, with people who care about me? Nope. Not me.

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2046 Jones: You realize that you cannot remember this moment.
2043 Jones: Benzodiazopene and a half a bottle of whiskey? By morning, you're a dream.

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I know I am missing some before and after from Cassie’s lines but I loved them so I am posting as is

Cassie. “If we’re lucky and history has proven we aren’t” 

Cassie:  “Bang Bang loop loop it was us who killed the Russians all along”

Gale:  “Fate my ass!”

Jennifer:  “You want to save Hitler?  That is the opposite of what you use a time machine for.”

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Jones: Often now, in my dying days, I struggle with the notion of life after death. To those of faith, it's time eternal, salvation. To those of science, it's merely the first tomorrow after you die, a finite sentence made meaningful by the question mark at its conclusion, asking simply, what have you left behind?

Emma: Why aren't you up there?
Jones: Elliot's the showman.
Emma: What does that make you?
Jones: The scientist.

Cole: We need to go back to 1852 to get it.
Jennifer: Uh, pioneer town? Death by dysentery? That's a wagon train of nopes.

Cole: Some things, you wanna hold on to, you know? Even if it's just an image in your head of someone you never knew.

Cole: We're not looking for trouble. I'm just trying to see these little ladies safely through the badlands.
[Cassie, Jennifer, and Hannah shoot the cowboys]
Cole: Thanks, little ladies.

Cole: You two blend in. You-
Jennifer: Don't. Hey, yes, I know. Calamity Jane and Mad Maxine here took all the good wardrobe. You guys, I need a costume.

Cole: Well, howdy there, little lady. You mind iffen I jaw with you for a moment? Well, me and my posse, we was down by the waterin' hole. By gum, we were set upon by bandits. And those bandits, they robbed us up, down, and in between and sideways, and THEY SURE TOOK THEIR TIME DOING IT. Yeah, they, uh, robbed us so bad, we was fixin' to call the law, give 'em some six gun justice. Okay, good talk. See you later.

Cole: Four whiskey sours.
Bartender: My whiskey ain't sour.

Jennifer: Stop obsessing about what I'm seeing and start asking yourself what you're not. Whiskey, neat, from 1972. Black hat over there with the nine millimeter Glock? That's nine shots more than a six shooter. And table two over there with the military tac boots? And that chucklehead's got an iWatch. And open your ears. The piano player? Oingo Boingo? Weird Science. That tune's, like, 130 years too early.

Elliot: You know, there's your time, there's our time, and then there's my time. This is supposed to be my time.

Elliot: God damn it, you are inhospitable!

Hannah: Who is that?
Cole: The Tall Man.
Jennifer: I thought you said Olivia killed him.
Cole: Well, clearly, this is before that, isn't it?

Cole: All right, you varmints, reach for the sky! You! Play something you can dance to. Next time a man asks for a whiskey sour in this town, you better have it ready! Adios, amigos!

Hannah: How can you be so calm? Why aren't you ready to kill him right here and now?
Jones: There are few people whose death you consider more than the one you marry, I assure you.

Cole: Why would the Primaries bring us here? Why now?
Jennifer: I don't know. Iceberg Titan before it goes all Titanic? I mean, even I can see that.

Jennifer: Whoa, bro, she just really saved your ass.

Elliot: They were funding my research for years. They they said it was insurance. Saving the future.
Jones: They played to your ego, Elliot. It's a very simple instrument.

Jones: You are no savior. You're Oppenheimer in a blindfold.
Elliot: And you're a mother. So I guess we both became something we never wanted to be.

Jones: I wanted to be great at something I was good at, not afraid of something I wasn't.

Elliot: Took us two decades to invent time travel but just six days of marriage to ruin each other.

Tihkoosue: I am Tihkoosue of the Siksika.
Jennifer: You should really do movie trailers.

Tihkoosue: Climb the steps. Ring the bell.

Elliot: When everything goes wrong and the whole world goes to shit, don't be here for that, okay?

Elliot: Well, turns out, my pallid friend, that I, much to my utter and holy shit surprise, am a father. And although I'm still what you might call processing it - you know, denial, acceptance, picking out colors for a room I never got to paint - I have learned something. There's this thing every father - every good father - would do for their kid. Want to know what it is?
Pallid Man: Tell me, Elliot. What would a father do for their children?
Elliot: Fight.

Cassie: I don't understand. Why would he go after us?
Cole: Best guess, we left him to die. But you're welcome to ask.

Elliot: At least I got to see the best thing I ever made.

Hannah: It is the privilege of a child to walk their parents the rest of the way together.

Jones: I am dying. Splinter radiation. Project Charon. We've all been here on borrowed time. And we must return it. I before you. But it's as it's meant to be. Mothers before their children. All of us here have been something that that I once shunned, something that I can no longer live without. Family. I've only one dying wish. Let's act as one.

Elliot: What have I always told you is at the core of every great achievement?
Jones: Failure.
Elliot: Are you here to help or just to taunt me with coffee?

Elliot: So objects either go forwards or backwards but never the duplication of the one. Never bypass that safeguard. Basically, given enough power, it'd be about the fastest way to rip open a hole in the universe. In theory. Let's not test that theory.

Edited by ElectricBoogaloo

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Jennifer: Guys, I found something! Come on, out of bed! Let's move! Besides, I know what you're doing in there. Better be careful this time. Butt stuff only!

Cassie: Okay, there are two ways this goes. One, you go in there looking for the weapon. And what do you know? Bang, bang, loop, loop. It was us who killed the Russians all along. Two, surprise! It's the Army of the 12 Monkeys, Olivia's final suckerpunch.

Cassie: What the hell are you doing? What if this is a trap?
Cole: Then they're walking into ours now.
Cassie: If we're lucky. And history has proven we're not.

Cole: We know I make it far enough to get that splinter suit working again, right?
Cassie: Future asshole.
Cole: Right, so, if causality can work against us, that means it can work for us, which means I should be all right.
Cassie: Listen, present-day asshole, we're doing this together.

Cole: You want a drink? We have, uh, whiskey or whiskey.

Gale: I took a cab uptown from the Bronx. Uptown from the Bronx? Smelled like springtime after the rain, so I'd like a martini, stirred, not shaken, with, uh-
Jennifer: Four olives on the side.
Gale: Is this really necessary?
Jennifer: Good. Now listen. My name is Jennifer Goines. And I'm-
Gale: From the future. I know.
Jennifer: Okay. My friends Cole and Cassie-
Gale: Are in trouble. Got it.
Jennifer: And now we have to be very careful because of-
Gale: The Army of the 12 Monkeys? This ain't my first rodeo, sister.
Jennifer: Fine! Worst spy ever! First question - how are you still alive?

Gale: What are you doing? Are you insane?
Jennifer: Yes.

Gale: Oh, Jesus, Mary, and Joseph. It's us! We're the reason they find the room like this.
Jennifer: It's an oops loop.

Jennifer: God damn it. Of course it was me. Stupid me. Loopty doopty me.

Jennifer: Is this gonna work? 
Gale: Maybe.
Jennifer: Maybe? Maybe's not good enough.
Gale: Psycho, it's quarter to 10:00. The Emerson's 20 minutes away. Maybe's all we got.

Jennifer: Are you Cassie 1 or Cassie 2?

Deacon: Hi. Um, your buddy's dead. Now, you you could gamble and we could do the whole shootout thing, but spoiler alert - you die. Or you could just hand it over. You pick.

Jennifer: Deacon! Why are you doing this? This isn't you.
Deacon: Oh, it's me. I'm exactly where I want to be.

Gale: Well look who's back from the dead.

Gale: Hey, Glum and Glummer - cheer up. Not every win is a victory.

Gale: The Ahnenerbe was a pseudo-scientific institute in the Third Reich dedicated to researching the archaeological and cultural history of the master race. We dismissed them for what they were - wack jobs looking for magic to win the war. But there is something the SS called Die Glocke.
Jones: The Bell.
Gale: What if while the Nazis were digging around the world, they found something? Something that was intended for you. Your Primary weapon. That comes from a interrogation of an SS officer at Nuremberg. Read the description.
Jones: "An object made of metal, carvings of unknown symbology, possessing unknown radioactive properties that have a unique effect on time."

Cole: Thank you for everything. I mean this in the best possible way - I hope I never see you again.

Cassie: At the end of all this, there is one simple truth - we can save the world, or we can save each other. We can't do both.
Cole: Cass, we always knew this is how it was going to be.

Zalman Shaw: Before the day is done, I imagine you'll understand. Witnessing my wife die the way she did, I wouldn't wish it upon anyone else unless I thought they might see that without time's will, its shackles, there is the after of the Red Forest, where one never has to choose anything over the ones they love. Doesn't that sound right to you?
Cassie: Yes.

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Waesch: Hope is the folly of conquered people. It is only through acceptance of subjugation that the conquered may ever truly be free. It is the duty of those of power and superiority to lead the conquered away from these harmful feelings of resistance.

Jones: To underestimate this evil was what allowed it to take root in the first place.

Cole: Mission comes first, each other last. No matter what, we get the bell.

Jones: Ms. Goines, how's your French?
Jennifer: You left me in France for five years. I was in plas. I recorded an album that you never listened to. Assholes. I had to learn French or starve to death.

Jennifer: World War I P.O.W. here, okay? No offense, but Germans? Been there, done that. Nazi-phobia.

Cole: This language thing works for you and Jennifer but not me. What if someone tries to talk to me?
Jennifer: Just say, "Oui."
Cole: That's it? Oui?
Jennifer: Oui.

French man: Are you deaf or stupid?
Cole: Oui.

Jennifer: Monsieur! Maurice Morrison!

Deacon: Au contraire, mon frère.

Deacon: I don't suppose you speak German.
Cole: Oui.

[Deacon spits in the German officer's face]
Cole: That was dumb.
Deacon: Bucket list.
Cole: Nice knowing you, asshole.
Deacon: For the record, I never switched sides, you gullible shit.

Jennifer: Listen, you wanna kill Hitler? That's awesome. Totally down with that.

Deacon: What are you doing? Wait, put your coat back on. Don't do that. Don't, no. Can we just go back to the punching?

Deacon: Olivia's playing a long game, and she is going to win, because you suck at it. I don't.
Cole: Why the hell would she trust you?
Deacon: Cause she sees in me that special something only another evil shit can. I'm just bad. 
Cole: Good point.
Deacon: You had it too, when we first met, so that you could live to fight another day. James hate me if you want, but you got one chance left. Like it or not, it's me.
Cole: I can't stand you but I don't hate you.

Cole: Whoa, what the hell are you doing?
Deacon: I may be 16 kinds of asshole, but I ain't a freaking Nazi.

Jones: Is that-
Jennifer: It ain't Chaplin.
[Cole sees Hitler]
Cole: Oh, man.

Cassie: What are you doing?
Cole: Family meeting.

Jennifer: Deacon!
[Deacon winks]
[Jennifer winks]

Deacon: Look, Elliot is dead now, but double down, reset time, and you and him and your daughter will be arguing about dishes in the sink, while me and my brother open a bar, and we raise a glass to the people we didn't have to kill to get there.

Cassie: We only have fifteen minutes.
Cole: What happens in fifteen minutes?
[Jennifer makes an explosion sound]
Deacon, Cole, and Jones: WHAT?

Cole: We need more time. Gotta stop that bomb.
Jennifer: Uh, you wanna save Hitler? That's the opposite of what you do with a time machine.

Cole: Cassie and me will get the bell, you find the bomb in the serving cart, and you go back to Jones, make sure Waesch doesn't bring Hitler and the SS below before he has to.
Jennifer: Oh, is that all?

Jennifer: Ladies and gentlemen. Nazis.

Cassie: We need a distraction.
Cole: You got something in mind?
Cassie: I saw a kinky boudoir upstairs.

Jennifer as P!nk: You know who you are, high-fiving, talking scheisse! But you're going home alone, aren't ya?

[Deacon shoots four SS guys]
Deacon: Let's boogie.

Jennifer: You guys, did we just save Hitler?
Deacon: Maybe not.
[Deacon hands Jennifer the detonator]
Jennifer: Is this what I think it is?
Deacon: Jawohl. 
Jennifer: Wanna unmake history? 
Jones: Is that a detonator? 
Jennifer: Yup. 
Jones: Ms. Goines, you have no idea what impact that could have on the timeline.
Jennifer: Boop!

Jones: If you and I were to accept the inevitability of death, that would give us a distinct advantage, wouldn't it?
Deacon: It would.

Jones: If you would permit me a toast? We may not have all of the answers we seek, but tonight we have each other and that in this moment is enough. There's something I would like to read, suitable to the occasion and more capable of sentiment than I. "No man is an island, entire of itself. Each is a piece of the continent, a part of the main. If a cloud be washed away by the sea, Europe is the less. Each man's death diminishes me, for I am involved in mankind. Therefore send not to know for whom the bell tolls. It tolls for thee."

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Deacon: Think of something you hate. It'll keep you going.
Jones: If I'm going out, Mr. Deacon, I prefer it while thinking of something I love.

Olivia: You were meant to think, not feel.

Bryan: Too good looking for a beer, too rough and tumble for a cocktail.

Olivia: We both know this isn't real, but when has anything ever needed to be real to be true?

Cole: You ready to get medieval?

Cole: Jesus, Julian. Sack up.
Adler: I will knock you on your ass, boy.

Jennifer: So basically it's good, fast, and cheap, pick two, only alive, on time, or together.

Adler: I'd either say a prayer or read up on how to joust.

Jennifer: Wait, no, wait. If you're the, whatever, the chosen one, you can't go first. It's too risky. Adler's right. We're blind. We're in the fog. But I have always been your seer. From the beginning-
Cole: No, Jennifer.
Jennifer: No, that's my role in all of this, to make sure that you get where you need to go. So you follow me this time.

2043 Jennifer: Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in.

2043 Jennifer: You've all got that "I forgot it's 2043" look on your face. I haven't kicked it yet.

2043 Jennifer: Like I always said, the right ending is the one you choose.

2043 Jennifer: What I know, Otter Eyes, and when I know it is a moving target.

Jones: The fear of losing, the memory of loss, is no less painful than the memory itself.

Jones: I learned from the past. [Olivia] runs from it.

Jones: I think I understand you now. It's not about power or control or reliving in the past. You have no appreciation for that. You are afraid of the end, to be in the dark, that box, forever, that box to which we all must someday go.

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Jennifer: Kakariko village! Zelda! Salutations. Hello, goats. I come in peace. Good grain. See the dragons on the field this morn. Greetings.

Medieval man: Pardon me, peculiar mistress. What brings thee here?
Jennifer: Uh, I am just doth passing, passeth, passething through on mine, thine, thoust way.
Medieval man: These art strange robes.
Jennifer: They're ye olde navy.

[Jennifer hugs Cassie]
Cassie: Omigawd.
Jennifer: Oh, sorry. It's poop.

Jennifer: You guys, can we just call an Uber? How much further?

Deacon: I hear horses and it's the bad guys. I hear gunshots and thy gang is all here.

Jennifer: One does not simply walk into Mordor.
Duncan: That's some Tolkien shit, right?
Jennifer: Yeah.
Duncan: I snooze through those.

Jennifer: What's that?
Deacon: It's my knife.
Jennifer: I know, but why are you presenting it all theatrically?

Deacon: [Jones] always said that we're all on borrowed time, [Cole] especially. You know the real difference between you and the rest of us non-chosen ones? You got Cassie. That thing between you two is more than the rest of us put together.

Nicodemus: [The primaries] claimed [the ouroboros] would render the demon a fate worse than death.
Cassie: There is no fate worse than death.
Cole: Sure there is - to have never existed at all.

Jennifer: I was primary once too.
Chorus: You still are. The voices in your head stopped speaking because the witness was listening, so we found another way to speak to you through the eons of time.

Tihkoosue: I suppose if one wishes to instill the threat of imminent death, 'tis well to look the part. But we twelve seers know the truth - you're simply a fool draped in metal.

Olivia: Where is the weapon?
Tihkoosue: Such questions are for the blind, the cyclers, those who would call themselves witness yet cannot see. Thy title is a lie, thy crown undeserved. Byproduct thou art, waste, an abomination of rotten flesh slithering through the bowels of causality.

Olivia: Can you concentrate while you scream?

Deacon: Time's up, people.
Cassie: What do we do?
Jennifer: Ring the goddamn bell!

Olivia: You came here for my head. I'll leave with yours.

Olivia: We honor time with patience.
Deacon: Jesus Christ, you dishonor it with your endless speeches. Your red forest, your perfect moment, it's dinner theater. It's a one woman show for, let's face it, a one woman audience.

Olivia: The man who turns once turns twice. Your loyalties were predictable, Teddy.

Olivia: My toothless bloodhound, you gave away everything you could have been. For what?
Deacon: For them. And I'd do it again. This I know.

Jennifer: Hey, asshole! Say hello to Future Asshole!

2043 Jennifer: That's the thing about time travel. Everything old is new again.

2043 Jennifer: Better get cracking, egg.

Edited by ElectricBoogaloo
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Cassie: We burned [the virus] last time but since you don't want to set the hotel on fire, we'll drown it.

Cassie: We have the virus. The primaries sent us here to destroy it.
Hannah: Once Olivia turns on her weapon and begins the red forest, she'll exist outside of causality. Destroying the plague won't stop her.
Cole: But it will rob us of the only weapon we have to use against her - time travel. The primaries didn't send us here to stop the plague. They sent us here to release it.

Cassie: No, no! This whole mission has been about saving seven billion people, not killing them. You can't ask me to do this. For what?
Cole: Either seven billion people die today or everyone dies forever.

Jennifer: Even for a mad hatter, that doesn't make sense. You don't gift wrap a needle with a haystack.
Adler: But the primaries built a machine.
Jennifer: That you needed a machine to get to.

Cole: Just remember what you told me over and over again before we even met.
Cassie: Sometimes terrible things happen so that great things can happen next.

Jennifer: A weapon to destroy the demon. How would you do that exactly?
Jones: Loops and tangles of time to stop something that never started, to end something that never began. We must break them, untangle.

Hannah: Mothers die for their children. Yours died protecting you.

Cole: I'm the demon.

Edited by ElectricBoogaloo
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On 6/30/2018 at 5:55 AM, ElectricBoogaloo said:

Jennifer: Better get cracking, egg.

I love this line. I’ve already used it in real life. 

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Jones: The loops and tangles of time, this war, it's all a disease created by the cure. The end was the beginning, a serpent eating its tail.

Athan: There may come a day when a single life for seven billion is one too many. Consider this then: no matter what, save the one.

Cole: I'm the demon, the first time traveler. i'm the one that drove time insane.

Cassie: No, this is not how was it supposed to end?
Jones: How was is supposed to end? The mission hasn't changed, only our feelings.

Cassie: I just murdered seven billion people. I will not murder seven billion and one, not when the one is worth all the rest.

Future Asshole: That's right. Take it all in. Greetings, asshole. I'm future asshole.

Future Asshole: You're going to have to forgive yourself for what you've done, for what you're going to have to do. There's a beginning and there's an end to all of this. And all you and I are ever going to have is what's in between.

Cole: I'll listen to the rest of that speech in twelve hours [when time collapses into the Red Forest]. Until then, we've got work to do.

Cole: I have a plan. What's that look for?
Cassie: I've never heard you say you have a plan.
Cole: I've had plans before.
Cassie: No, it's just -
Cole: I have plans.
Cassie: It takes the end of the world for you to have a plan.
Cole: Do you want to hear it or not?

Cole: If we're going out, we're taking that bitch with us.

[Cassie and Cole enter with Ramse]
Jennifer: Holy shitballs!
Jones: Mr. Cole, have you lost your goddamn mind?
Cassie: Not him. Me. It was my idea.
Jennifer: Sup, bro?
Ramse: What's up, cocoa puffs?
Cassie: We're going on the offensive.
Jones: I can assure you, this IS offensive.

Jennifer: [Jones] is [Cole's] granny.
Jones: Ms. Goines!
Jennifer: Just filling [Ramse] in.

Olivia: Why are you here?
Jennifer: To say adios, amigo. But before we fire up the machine and wipe you from time and existence, there's something I thought you should know. You know your brand logo thing? Copyright The Witness TM. Well, I get it. It's Aramaic for the number twelve mirrored to represent the beginning, the end. blah blah blah yadda yadda yadda such and such. But with just a few little tweaks, it looks like a little penis man. Is that because you're such a dick?

Ramse: Come on, I gotta die to a good song, brother! A good song!
[(I've Had) The Time of My Life comes on the radio]
Ramse: I dig it, man.
Cole: Feels right.

Ramse: How does [the splinter suit] work?
Cole: Give me your hand, Louise.

Cole: We just lost the advantage. We're outnumbered, outgunned, and on foot. We're probably going to die. Let's do this.

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2043 Jennifer: Radio Egg, I'd like to request a song.
Jennifer: Copy that, chicken. Good morning, Titan! This is JH Bonde coming  at you from WKRP in 2043. I'm rocking the time stream from AM to PM, from BC to AD. Now this one goes out to Tired and Titan, the sleepy dulcet tones of Olivia Kirschner - long time listener, first time Witness with a face for radio and a voice for NPR. Surprise, bitch!

Deacon: You told Max that you and I are old friends?
2043 Jennifer: We will be. One day.

Cole: You want to blow some shit up?
Deacon: Lead the way.

Cole: We can have forever or we can have now.

Deacon: That was weird.
2043 Jennifer: It'll get a whole lot weirder.

2043 Jennifer: Look, so you shoot me.
Deacon: I'm sorry?
2043 Jennifer: You shoot me.
Deacon: I'm apologizing.
2043 Jennifer: I forgave you.

Ramse: So this is my reward for all this shit? I get shot? With my luck, you'd probably miss and screw this whole thing up.

Cole: We did the right thing though, didn't we? In the end.
Ramse: Yeah. We did it the right way, brother.

Jennifer: The actor does not say goodbye to her audience, only goodnight and then wakes up and does it all over again.

Cassie: Cole, remember - death can be undone. Love cannot.

Cassie: You can't get back to a place you've never been.

CNN: Markridge heiress bioengineers unicorn. Scientific community asks, "Why?"

Jennifer: Well, it ain't heaven, just the Keys.

Cole: Is this real?
Jennifer: I'm kind of the wrong one to ask.

Jennifer: What use are the unwritten laws of the universe if you can't break at least one?

Cole: You were never crazy. You were the best of all of us.

Cole: Where are you right now? Somewhere safe, warm, next to someone you love? Someday all that will be gone. Time passes how it's meant to. All that matters is now. Happily ever now.

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