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Pet Peeves: Aka Things That Make You Go "Gah!"


Message added by Mod-Tigerkatze,

Your Pet Peeves are your Pet Peeves and you're welcome to express them here. However, that does not mean that you can use this topic to go after your fellow posters; being annoyed by something they say or do is not a Pet Peeve.

If there's something you need clarification on, please remember: it's always best to address a fellow poster directly; don't talk about what they said, talk to them. Politely, of course! Everyone is entitled to their opinion and should be treated with respect. (If need be, check out the how to have healthy debates guidelines for more).

While we're happy to grant the leniency that was requested about allowing discussions to go beyond Pet Peeves, please keep in mind that this is still the Pet Peeves topic. Non-pet peeves discussions should be kept brief, be related to a pet peeve and if a fellow poster suggests the discussion may be taken to Chit Chat or otherwise tries to course-correct the topic, we ask that you don't dismiss them. They may have a point.

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21 hours ago, graybrown bird said:

Some elderly folks don't have families, and have to figure out for themselves when they shouldn't drive anymore.

This is true.  That's when the medical community needs to get involved.  They will help when approached by family/caregivers, but would need to intervene independently when no one asks.  I don't imagine that's happening.

Edited by SuprSuprElevated
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21 hours ago, theredhead77 said:

And some know they probably shouldn't be driving anymore but have no other way to get groceries, or to the doctor. It's easy for us to say call an Uber, or use InstaCart but it's not that simple for everyone.

We, as a society, need to do better.

To be fair, if they have a car, they have a phone. If they have a phone, there is a way to communicate their needs.  Many just won't voluntarily relinquish that independence.  I understand, but can't say "oh, that's okay then.".  Not sure what society should do.

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1 hour ago, SuprSuprElevated said:

To be fair, if they have a car, they have a phone. If they have a phone, there is a way to communicate their needs.  Many just won't voluntarily relinquish that independence.  I understand, but can't say "oh, that's okay then.".  Not sure what society should do.

There are rules that vary by state after age 65 or so requiring in person renewal more frequently than for younger drivers so that the DMV can "evaluate" your competence based on seeing you in person.  Some states also require an eye exam.  Some states require a written test if the person's license has been expired more than 2 years.  In some states, like NY, the DMV can reevaluate someone at either the police's or another person like a family member's request based on recent accident reports and medical evaluations, which in some states are mandatory if there is a mental or physical impairment that can affect driving ability.  I don't know if that can be done between license renewals to have someone's license revoked or whether it's only at renewal.  My father voluntarily stopped driving before I could look into that.

My father was able to renew his license in Sept. of 2019 in person.  I was not really happy about it but at that time there was nothing I could do to prevent it.  I remember all they did was give him a vision test.  He could fool the best of them so how good is the opinion of the DMV?  I just hoped and prayed that if he hit anything he didn't injure or kill himself or someone else.

I was looking over the list of state rules and was shocked at how many states have relatively lax laws about this.  Actually it shouldn't really shock me as I am always complaining that there are too many elderly drivers out that are dangerous on the roads.  In CT the only restriction is having the option to renew in person every 2 years instead of 6 after age 65 with a reduced fee, and they say they "may" ask you to take a written or vision test at their discretion (I guess if they think the person is impaired in some way).  We live within 2 miles of an AAA where I've renewed the last few times and it's easy peasy compared to the DMV (and still OK to do post 65).  But considering all the elderly drivers out there that shouldn't be on the roads in pretty much every state, I don't think they're doing enough.

Edited by Yeah No
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On 1/18/2022 at 12:01 PM, SusannahM said:

Tv related peeve - people who will not accept it when you tell them you don't want to watch a certain show.  "Oh but you love history, you have to watch Game of Thrones", "I know you don't like gory shows but trust me Dexter isn't that bad", "If you like Big Bang Theory then I know you'll love Letterkenny".  Sigh.  I don't mind suggestions but I don't appreciate being badgered.

@SusannahM me too! I read the GOT series but had no interest in watching the show. I loved Longmire but am not interested in Yellowstone. I don't watch a lot of TV to begin with so nagging me to start binge watching something isn't going to work. I don't have the time or the patience to spend 8 hours watching an entire series. 

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19 hours ago, Mittengirl said:

This is the entirety of one of my biggest peeves.  Why can’t people drop the issue after - “I don’t want to”.  Go to the movies, watch that show, have a glass of wine, go/do (wherever/whatever).  Why do people think they need to know my reasons?  (Obviously, I am not talking about stuff like not showing up for work, I mean just the average day-to-day stuff.)  Why can’t you just accept the fact that I don’t want to have a glass of wine?  Or that I don’t want to go to the beach or the movies or the mall.  Why do you think you have a right to my reason and then further aggravate me by arguing about my reason?  I have had “good” wine and I still don’t like it and I don’t think I will “have fun once I get there”.  I am an adult for God’s sake - just take my word for it when I say “I don’t want to”.  

Yes to all of this.

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My father was able to renew his license in Sept. of 2019 in person.  I was not really happy about it but at that time there was nothing I could do to prevent it.  I remember all they did was give him a vision test.  He could fool the best of them so how good is the opinion of the DMV?  I just hoped and prayed that if he hit anything he didn't injure or kill himself or someone else.

Same exact thing with my dad. There was nothing I could do about it either. He and my mom had both had Lasik and their eyesight was very good, as was his physical health. He had still been running  marathons into his seventies. It was just that his mind was gone.

Quote

To be fair, if they have a car, they have a phone. If they have a phone, there is a way to communicate their needs.  Many just won't voluntarily relinquish that independence.  I understand, but can't say "oh, that's okay then.".  Not sure what society should do.

I know some of us don't really want to be buddies with our neighbors but my dad's neighbors were good friends and proved invaluable when he started to get really bad.

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On 1/18/2022 at 12:01 PM, SusannahM said:

Tv related peeve - people who will not accept it when you tell them you don't want to watch a certain show.  "Oh but you love history, you have to watch Game of Thrones", "I know you don't like gory shows but trust me Dexter isn't that bad", "If you like Big Bang Theory then I know you'll love Letterkenny".  Sigh.  I don't mind suggestions but I don't appreciate being badgered.  

And its cousin, that I have experienced: “Well why don’t you like (character)?” Well I saw the character in the original airing of the show and on my rewatch several years later I still think she is awful. Yes I know a lot of people relate to her and identify with her. Yes I know she’s a hot mess and some people find that cute. 

“But maybe we’ll convince you she’s not so bad!” I don’t need convincing to like a person who doesn’t exist. I have seen the whole show. My mind is made up. Leave me alone. I watch SVU, for example, and ship Liv and Elliot but a lot of people don’t. I don’t care. I don’t try to tell people they’re wrong or that I need to change their mind. Like leave me alone. 

Edited by Cloud9Shopper
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And its cousin, that I have experienced: “Well why don’t you like (character)?” Well I saw the character in the original airing of the show and on my rewatch several years later I still think she is awful. Yes I know a lot of people relate to her and identify with her. Yes I know she’s a hot mess and some people find that cute. 

Lorelai *cough* cough* Gilmore.

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4 minutes ago, peacheslatour said:

Lorelai *cough* cough* Gilmore.

I am watching Gilmore Girls now and have found both Rory and Lorelai entitled at times. It’s a good show; don’t get me wrong but sometimes I just want to smack one or both of them. 

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2 hours ago, Cloud9Shopper said:

I am watching Gilmore Girls now and have found both Rory and Lorelai entitled at times. It’s a good show; don’t get me wrong but sometimes I just want to smack one or both of them. 

I love the show and it got me through some of the ugliness of the last few years but if  had to be around them IRL? We're talkin'  about smackin' a couple of noggins.

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Makeup transfer when wearing masks. I know people will think it's silly to put it on underneath a mask, but makeup is one of my favorite hobbies. I've been wearing masks even around friends again. I've thought about getting a new setting spray, but my skin is so sensitive, not sure if it's worth it. 

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On 1/21/2022 at 3:22 AM, RealHousewife said:

Makeup transfer when wearing masks. I know people will think it's silly to put it on underneath a mask, but makeup is one of my favorite hobbies. I've been wearing masks even around friends again. I've thought about getting a new setting spray, but my skin is so sensitive, not sure if it's worth it. 

Have you tried any of the silicone rubber frames/brackets that keep the mask away from your skin? I have a couple of different styles, and I like them a lot.  I don't use them to protect my makeup--I just don't enjoy the way cloth masks can get sucked into your mouth with every breath, and the frames prevent that. You may have to try more than one style to find one you like, and the way they attach depends on the kind of mask you wear. Some have slots that you can thread the ear loops through, for instance. I found a really heavy-duty double-faced tape that I've been using to hold my frames in place.

Here's a page of images. They look like something Hannibal Lecter would wear, but they're invisible inside your mask.

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I hate it when libraries take so freaking long to get certain new books. Ordinarily if I don’t want to wait, I can get them on Overdrive or Hoopla, but it REALLY sucks when I can’t find them on either of those. Sometimes, it takes my library three or four months to get the books. I don’t know the specifics of the process, but please tell me I’m not the only one annoyed by this!

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2 hours ago, Mondrianyone said:

Have you tried any of the silicone rubber frames/brackets that keep the mask away from your skin? I have a couple of different styles, and I like them a lot.  I don't use them to protect my makeup--I just don't enjoy the way cloth masks can get sucked into your mouth with every breath, and the frames prevent that. You may have to try more than one style to find one you like, and the way they attach depends on the kind of mask you wear. Some have slots that you can thread the ear loops through, for instance. I found a really heavy-duty double-faced tape that I've been using to hold my frames in place.

Here's a page of images. They look like something Hannibal Lecter would wear, but they're invisible inside your mask.

Thank you! I'll check those out! :)

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17 minutes ago, RealHousewife said:

Thank you! I'll check those out! :)

You're welcome! I took a photo of one from the last batch I ordered. Some of them I wear with the ear loops threaded through those thin slots on the wings. On others I cut off the wings and attached the frame to the inside of a mask with double-sided tape. I've found that customization seems to be the key to making them work.

Hope you find some that suit you. They can be bought on Amazon and eBay by the 10- and 20-pack. But I see by looking around today that you can get them in tons of places!

mask1 (2).jpg

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16 hours ago, RealHousewife said:

Wanting to invest in jewelry, but constantly losing things. 

 

As someone who spent a decade in the jewelry business, I would like to say:

"Jewelry is for adornment, not investment."

You can buy unset gemstones or gold coins as an investment if you want something pretty to look at as well as hope that it increases in value.

If you are constantly losing things, go for a necklace or pendant plus chain you can keep on 24/7 or perhaps a very simple ring or bracelet that you can also wear all the time.

It was a pet peeve of myself and the jeweler/owner of the store I managed how many people came in with some jewelry item they had worn *to death* and did not understand why they could not sell it for what they had paid for it...

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1 hour ago, isalicat said:

As someone who spent a decade in the jewelry business, I would like to say:

"Jewelry is for adornment, not investment."

You can buy unset gemstones or gold coins as an investment if you want something pretty to look at as well as hope that it increases in value.

If you are constantly losing things, go for a necklace or pendant plus chain you can keep on 24/7 or perhaps a very simple ring or bracelet that you can also wear all the time.

It was a pet peeve of myself and the jeweler/owner of the store I managed how many people came in with some jewelry item they had worn *to death* and did not understand why they could not sell it for what they had paid for it...

It's not so much that I plan on selling the jewelry at some point tbh. And spending huge money on anything is out of the question with the frequency I lose things. But a lot of fashion jewelry looks cheap up close, pearl necklaces break easily, etc. I want pieces that are high quality and will look gorgeous for years. 

Might need to take this to chat, but do you have much knowledge about pearls? I'd really like to purchase a nice pearl set, but I don't even know the best place-a jewelry store, department store, or what. All the fine jewelry I own has been gifted to me. If the pieces don't end up worth what I spent on them years down the line, that's okay. I just want stunning pieces. I've told myself I can treat myself to something if I stop buying cheap jewelry. I hope if I have less clutter, I'm less likely to lose things. 

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14 minutes ago, RealHousewife said:

It's not so much that I plan on selling the jewelry at some point tbh. And spending huge money on anything is out of the question with the frequency I lose things. But a lot of fashion jewelry looks cheap up close, pearl necklaces break easily, etc. I want pieces that are high quality and will look gorgeous for years. 

Might need to take this to chat, but do you have much knowledge about pearls? I'd really like to purchase a nice pearl set, but I don't even know the best place-a jewelry store, department store, or what. All the fine jewelry I own has been gifted to me. If the pieces don't end up worth what I spent on them years down the line, that's okay. I just want stunning pieces. I've told myself I can treat myself to something if I stop buying cheap jewelry. I hope if I have less clutter, I'm less likely to lose things. 

Just to be brief - pearls are gorgeous and worth paying more for saltwater cultured pearls, but they are quite fragile and are not meant to be worn continually. So you will need to think in advance if you want to spend the money on a necklace or a ring or earrings or all of the above with the idea that you are probably not going to be wearing them daily (except maybe some dangling pearl earrings - if made of real gold, those could be worn daily). Do not EVER buy jewelry in a department store. Go to a good independent jeweler in your immediate area (check Yelp and get recommendations from trustworthy friends or co-workers). Do not buy anything the first time you see it - go away, think about it a bit and then do a little on line comparison shopping before you make the final purchase.

To get back on topic: Pet peeve - people buying hideously ugly flawed diamonds because they are told they are now in fashion. Nope, its a scam, people, a scam!!

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19 minutes ago, isalicat said:

To get back on topic: Pet peeve - people buying hideously ugly flawed diamonds because they are told they are now in fashion. Nope, its a scam, people, a scam!!

Are you referring to things like brown diamonds that are called chocolate or champagne and foisted off as fashion and desirable?  I've always thought it doesn't matter what you call them, they are not pretty!

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One of my biggest pet peeves are people that don't turn right on red when it's clearly safe to do so.  In my area in CT there is often light traffic and it's easy to tell whether or not it's safe to go.  But more people than I think is reasonable don't turn on red even though it's been legal to do so unless otherwise posted for over 40 years.  I realize it's not a requirement, but come on, if it's clearly safe to turn why not do it?

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3 hours ago, isalicat said:

Just to be brief - pearls are gorgeous and worth paying more for saltwater cultured pearls, but they are quite fragile and are not meant to be worn continually. So you will need to think in advance if you want to spend the money on a necklace or a ring or earrings or all of the above with the idea that you are probably not going to be wearing them daily (except maybe some dangling pearl earrings - if made of real gold, those could be worn daily). Do not EVER buy jewelry in a department store. Go to a good independent jeweler in your immediate area (check Yelp and get recommendations from trustworthy friends or co-workers). Do not buy anything the first time you see it - go away, think about it a bit and then do a little on line comparison shopping before you make the final purchase.

To get back on topic: Pet peeve - people buying hideously ugly flawed diamonds because they are told they are now in fashion. Nope, its a scam, people, a scam!!

Thanks so much. Yes, I was thinking daily. I just adore pearls. I guess I'll do more research.

TMI pet peeve-Laser hair removal on a lot of my body was so-so, but it worked really well on my bikini area, and I wish I could grow a landing strip. :(

 

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11 minutes ago, RealHousewife said:

Thanks so much. Yes, I was thinking daily. I just adore pearls. I guess I'll do more research.

TMI pet peeve-Laser hair removal on a lot of my body was so-so, but it worked really well on my bikini area, and I wish I could grow a landing strip. :(

 

I'm sorry, all you pearl lovers....the dust in the air and your natural body oil forms a grinding mechanism you can't see and if you wear a strand of pearls around your neck continually the nacre (the pretty part) of the pearl will just be "sanded off" over time...not immediately of course but they are also very sensitive to hair spray, perfume etc. And just water (our non-sea water that we bathe and shower in) dries pearls out because it is not the right water.

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My pet peeve is that my town insists on changing mandates "immediately."  I was planning to go grocery shopping today, but now I can't until at least next Wed, because yesterday, they announced that "immediately" N95 masks are required and so I had to order some that will possibly be here next Tuesday.   I will take some responsibility because I should have seen it coming, but still, they probably could have just made the decision last week or 2 weeks ago and said "beginning in 1 week, or 2 weeks."

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    My peeve is the heating system.  My home is insulated, but nowhere near well enough to handle the 25* temps in the south. I had a power outage yesterday and the house got cold. 50* in my kitchen. The kitties and I curled up under blankets to keep warm. At best the temp inside the home has only made it up to 65*. 
   In happier news, due to the cold the food in the hummingbird feeder froze. So I had bought some extra feeders and have been changing them out so my little flying friends at least can have their food a tad warmer. This is the third year these ruby throated ones have declined to migrate. So out into the 20-30 degrees I go (avoiding the ice everywhere) a few times a day to care for my feathered friends. At least it gives me perspective on how cold the inside of the house really is. 

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3 hours ago, Katy M said:

My pet peeve is that my town insists on changing mandates "immediately."  I was planning to go grocery shopping today, but now I can't until at least next Wed, because yesterday, they announced that "immediately" N95 masks are required and so I had to order some that will possibly be here next Tuesday.   I will take some responsibility because I should have seen it coming, but still, they probably could have just made the decision last week or 2 weeks ago and said "beginning in 1 week, or 2 weeks."

Does it have to be the N95 mask? What about the KN95 masks?

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21 minutes ago, peacheslatour said:

Does it have to be the N95 mask? What about the KN95 masks?

It can be N95 or KN95, but I'm not really ure what the difference is. At any rate, I've ordered N95 masks, and in the meantime, since this was the first day, decided to see if the store was enforcing.  They were not. So, I have enough groceries to last me until my masks come.  Or if not, I can go over to the next town over.  It's actually a different state also.

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11 minutes ago, Katy M said:

It can be N95 or KN95, but I'm not really ure what the difference is. At any rate, I've ordered N95 masks, and in the meantime, since this was the first day, decided to see if the store was enforcing.  They were not. So, I have enough groceries to last me until my masks come.  Or if not, I can go over to the next town over.  It's actually a different state also.

I'm glad you were able to get your shopping done. The reason I asked was because I was looking at them on Amazon and they have both but I couldn't see what the difference was.

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Thanks! This part seems the most pertinent to me:

 

Though their filtration is the same, KN95 and N95 masks do have some key differences. First, the certification process for KN95 masks requires a fit test be performed using human subjects to ensure no more than an 8 percent leakage. N95 masks are not required to undergo such a test prior to NIOSH certification. Another key difference between KN95 and N95 masks involves the standard for pressure drop that occurs when inhaling and exhaling. N95 certification requires a stricter standard for each, which makes N95 masks slightly more breathable than KN95 masks.

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On 1/23/2022 at 1:22 AM, RealHousewife said:

TMI pet peeve-Laser hair removal on a lot of my body was so-so, but it worked really well on my bikini area, and I wish I could grow a landing strip. :(

LOL, I am in the process of this right now. Couldn't be happier with the results, especially my chin and arm pit areas. I don't miss the hair down there at all. I dealt with very painful ingrown hairs too many times. 

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My pet peeve is the mid-Atlantic/International accent. My co-worker affects that accent all the time and it drives me batty. I think I'm talking to Madonna sometimes. She only uses it when she's talking to leadership too. When she's talking to us plebes she doesn't use that accent.

 

Edited by Lady Whistleup
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44 minutes ago, Lady Whistleup said:

My pet peeve is the mid-Atlantic/International accent. My co-worker affects that accent all the time and it drives me batty. I think I'm talking to Madonna sometimes. She only uses it when she's talking to leadership too. When she's talking to us plebes she doesn't use that accent.

 

Well, don’t watch The Gilded Age. There was a whole discussion of this on that thread. 

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Disposable diapers with any kind of blue or yellow decorative print on the front.

Almost all brands have a yellow line that turns blue if the inside of the diaper is wet. Putting anything else blue or yellow on there is just taunting me as I try to check the line while undoing as few snaps as possible on a wiggly baby. Yellow and blue have a job here; they've got no time to be decoration!

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Peeve du jour - people who think they're being clever when they pretend they've never heard of someone well known.   One of my younger colleagues (as in somewhere in her 20s) was talking about the whole Neil Young spotify thing the other day and basically going "Neil who?  Heh heh I'm too young to have heard of him".   Don't believe her but google is your friend my dear.  Rather than glory in your ignorance because you think that makes you look cool (I guess) why not use the Internet.  Pretty sure you've heard of that.

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1 hour ago, SusannahM said:

Peeve du jour - people who think they're being clever when they pretend they've never heard of someone well known.   One of my younger colleagues (as in somewhere in her 20s) was talking about the whole Neil Young spotify thing the other day and basically going "Neil who?  Heh heh I'm too young to have heard of him".   Don't believe her but google is your friend my dear.  Rather than glory in your ignorance because you think that makes you look cool (I guess) why not use the Internet.  Pretty sure you've heard of that.

It drives me nuts too when people come into threads to say that they never listen to certain music or watch certain shows. I mean if you don't care about these things then why bother to post?

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1 hour ago, SusannahM said:

Peeve du jour - people who think they're being clever when they pretend they've never heard of someone well known.   One of my younger colleagues (as in somewhere in her 20s) was talking about the whole Neil Young spotify thing the other day and basically going "Neil who?  Heh heh I'm too young to have heard of him".   Don't believe her but google is your friend my dear.  Rather than glory in your ignorance because you think that makes you look cool (I guess) why not use the Internet.  Pretty sure you've heard of that.

I can see it being annoying if someone talks like they're oh so much younger and cooler. Totally hear you on that!

To be honest though, a lot of us really aren't familiar with every artist. I always thought I knew more old school artists than most my age, until I worked with people older than me.   I'm in my 30s and just barely know Neil Young. (I know he's an icon and I should check out his music more. I actually recently started following him on Spotify before the drama.) I can see a 20-something have no clue. There are people shocked I don't know certain country artists. It's not me being too young or too cool, just didn't grow up listening much to the genre. 

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I'm also in my 30s and know who Neil Young is, and like all that I have heard by him ("Harvest Moon" is one of my favorite songs ever by anybody)...but a lot of that has to do with the fact that my dad was a radio DJ who worked at a variety of radio stations over the years, and he and my mom are both big music lovers. So as a result, I grew up listening to a lot of music from the '50s/'60s/70s (and even earlier than that) thanks to them :). I remember my dad having rock encyclopedias around the house, and I used to read those all the time when I was a kid and learned about a lot of classic artists that way, too. 

But yeah, it is true too that depending on where one grew up or what kinds of things they were exposed to and whatnot, they may have a lot of pop culture blind spots. The mention of country music, for instance - I know a lot of the classic country artists, but I don't listen to or keep up with the current crop of artists. I may have heard of a few particular names, but I couldn't name more than one, maybe two of their songs at best if one asked me. 

I also agree with this:

39 minutes ago, peacheslatour said:

It drives me nuts too when people come into threads to say that they never listen to certain music or watch certain shows. I mean if you don't care about these things then why bother to post?

That does seem really pointless to me. It's like the people who comment "LOL who cares?" on an article. Well, obviously you do to some extent, 'cause you took the time to click on the article and type out that response, so... Generally if I don't care about something, I just, y'know, ignore it. Kind of the point. 

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47 minutes ago, RealHousewife said:

I can see a 20-something have no clue. There are people shocked I don't know certain country artists. It's not me being too young or too cool, just didn't grow up listening much to the genre. 

I'm actually older than 20s and while I can't say I've never heard of Neil Young, I don't know that I've heard any of his music.

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2 minutes ago, Katy M said:

I'm actually older than 20s and while I can't say I've never heard of Neil Young, I don't know that I've heard any of his music.

You've probably come across "Heart of Gold" at some point:

 

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2 hours ago, RealHousewife said:

I can see it being annoying if someone talks like they're oh so much younger and cooler. Totally hear you on that!

It was also the coy pretending that she'd never heard of him.  She reminded me of women I've known who act helpless around men.  They put themselves down in ways that makes them sound like they can't even walk and talk at the same time, but they think it makes them sound all feminine and cute as hell.  Ugh.  

Edited by SusannahM
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