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Pet Peeves: Aka Things That Make You Go "Gah!"


Message added by JTMacc99,

Your pet peeves are your pet peeves, and you should feel free to express them here. This topic is not to be used to say you are peeved by another member of this community or something they said, either in this topic, or somewhere else in the forums. Additionally, please take ALL language related peeves (word usage, regional sayings, punctuation...) to the Grammar topic.

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On 11/20/2020 at 11:25 PM, Nordly Beaumont said:

Yelling at Alexa (several times) to turn the music down and realizing I'm playing music on my phone.

Having to apologize to Alexa (again).

To each one's own, but I'd prefer looking up my own music, shows and switching/on off my own lights  and A/C to having some faceless app do it for me AND have my habits so blatantly stored by an entity that could be hacked for who-knows-what purpose! 

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2 hours ago, icemiser69 said:

I like fireplaces, but they are a pain in the butt to maintain.   I know a few people who have fireplaces, but don't use them because they can be a pain.  I know a few other people that don't have fireplaces, and would like one, but they don't understand why those that have them don't use them.

I have three fireplaces, and use all of them (not simultaneously) each winter.  (Not for warmth, for atmosphere.)

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People who hold up lines. I shop often so I rarely have a ton of stuff to ring up, am not a problematic shopper, and am just speedy in general. I get annoyed when I have to wait for people who take their sweet time without regard for other people's time. I am not judging folks who have large families and lots of stuff to buy, but people who chit chat with cashiers, have question after question after question, sorry but no excuse for that. I've waited long enough to ring up my few items, please keep it moving!

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9 minutes ago, RealHousewife said:

People who hold up lines. I shop often so I rarely have a ton of stuff to ring up, am not a problematic shopper, and am just speedy in general. I get annoyed when I have to wait for people who take their sweet time without regard for other people's time. I am not judging folks who have large families and lots of stuff to buy, but people who chit chat with cashiers, have question after question after question, sorry but no excuse for that. I've waited long enough to ring up my few items, please keep it moving!

I moved from New York to Pennsylvania years ago. Something to get used to was lines moving slowly at the supermarket, bank, et.. So much chit chat. I’ve gotten used to it now, but it can be annoying. It’s not that I’m an unfriendly person mind you, I am patient, but come on people!

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6 minutes ago, ginger90 said:

I moved from New York to Pennsylvania years ago. Something to get used to was lines moving slowly at the supermarket, bank, et.. So much chit chat. I’ve gotten used to it now, but it can be annoying. It’s not that I’m an unfriendly person mind you, I am patient, but come on people!

Same. I always say hello, how are you, and thank you. If there's no line, I might say a bit more. But when there's a line and people are chatting like they're having a meal with friends, that's taking the chit chat a bit too far! I know most folks aren't this bad, but I experienced this yesterday. 

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3 minutes ago, ginger90 said:

I moved from New York to Pennsylvania years ago. Something to get used to was lines moving slowly at the supermarket, bank, et.. So much chit chat. I’ve gotten used to it now, but it can be annoying. It’s not that I’m an unfriendly person mind you, I am patient, but come on people!

I moved from the east coast to the west coast & people are lucky I didn't stand them to death they moved so slow, also, they look you in the eye when you pass on the street! I worked in San Francisco & every day I was freaking out because people who looking right at me & smiling. I was certain I was going to get mugged.

48 minutes ago, Bastet said:

I have three fireplaces, and use all of them (not simultaneously) each winter.  (Not for warmth, for atmosphere.)

Here in Northern California burning wood is kind of frowned on & is illegal on many days.

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2 minutes ago, GaT said:

Here in Northern California burning wood is kind of frowned on & is illegal on many days.

We have "no burn" days here (Los Angeles), too, and I abide by those, but only about half of those I know with fireplaces bother to check.  Which, of course, is going to ruin it for everyone in time.  But while I can still enjoy a fire, I do.

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1 hour ago, Bastet said:

I have three fireplaces, and use all of them (not simultaneously) each winter.  (Not for warmth, for atmosphere.)

My parents had one in the living room that was wood burning and one in the dining room that was gas so it would get too warm in there. It was so cozy, sitting there eating dinner. Especially around the holidays.

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2 hours ago, Bastet said:

We have "no burn" days here (Los Angeles), too, and I abide by those, but only about half of those I know with fireplaces bother to check.  Which, of course, is going to ruin it for everyone in time.  

Kind of like mandatory mask wearing 😑

1 hour ago, icemiser69 said:

Why is that?  Is that due to the possibility of wildfires being started?

Pollution, especially on "spare the air" days. Wood smoke smells great, but it can irritate your lungs & hurt your immune system.

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22 hours ago, Bastet said:

We have "no burn" days here (Los Angeles), too, and I abide by those, but only about half of those I know with fireplaces bother to check.  Which, of course, is going to ruin it for everyone in time.  But while I can still enjoy a fire, I do.

My first reading of this was very wrong...like how do they control the California forest fires from burning on no burn days.

Next questions are...  

It gets cold enough in LA to need a fireplace?

Fireplaces are subject to "no burn" days?  I thought that was more around not burning yard trimmings and stuff.  And let me tell you, when the random person does that, I want every day to be a no burn day because it freaks me out.  

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20 hours ago, annzeepark914 said:

Hah! If you're in the south, at an intersection, and the light turns green? Don't honk the horn if the cars in front of you don't move fast enough for you. I found it funny getting such indignant looks (during my first year living there). 

As a person who has always lived in the south, the constant waving for other drivers to go first at four-way stops can be frustrating. If you want to be friendly, do so by making the process of getting through the intersection as seamless as possible.

There also seems to be a lot of drivers who run at ~45 in 55 zones in rural areas and keep that speed when they enter more settled places, even as the speed limit drops to 35 or lower.

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7 minutes ago, ParadoxLost said:

It gets cold enough in LA to need a fireplace?

As I said, I use them for atmosphere, not for warmth.

7 minutes ago, ParadoxLost said:

Fireplaces are subject to "no burn" days?

Yes, as @GaT said, because of air pollution.  In stagnant weather conditions, you can't add to the emissions hanging out in the air by burning wood in a residential fireplace or fire pit (there are exemptions for those reliant on wood fires as a sole source of heat and such).  So from November through February, the Air Quality Management District posts every day whether it is or is not okay to burn.

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11 minutes ago, ParadoxLost said:

My first reading of this was very wrong...like how do they control the California forest fires from burning on no burn days.

Next questions are...  

It gets cold enough in LA to need a fireplace?

Fireplaces are subject to "no burn" days?  I thought that was more around not burning yard trimmings and stuff.  And let me tell you, when the random person does that, I want every day to be a no burn day because it freaks me out.  

I had to call the fire dept. one time because the morons next door were burning limbs in a pit and they just kept adding to it until the limbs were out of the pit and all around on the ground. Under several fir trees. On an eighty degree day. The fire marshall was pissed as hell when here got there and reamed the idiots at the top of his lungs.

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27 minutes ago, CityBoy1986 said:

As a person who has always lived in the south, the constant waving for other drivers to go first at four-way stops can be frustrating. If you want to be friendly, do so by making the process of getting through the intersection as seamless as possible.

That drives me crazy also.  There is a perfectly good system for 4 way stops.  The only time it gets a bit tricky is if the intersection is clear and then four cars all get there at the same time. Then, yes, someone wave someone on and go from there.  But if it was all clear a second ago, you're not likely to have a huge traffic backup no matter what you do.

 

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3 hours ago, Katy M said:

That drives me crazy also.  There is a perfectly good system for 4 way stops.  The only time it gets a bit tricky is if the intersection is clear and then four cars all get there at the same time. Then, yes, someone wave someone on and go from there.  But if it was all clear a second ago, you're not likely to have a huge traffic backup no matter what you do.

 

There is an intersection near my house that I have to use regularly. 1 street has stop signs, and the other does not, so there is a clear right of way. Except that half the time I stop at the stop sign, a car on the street that doesn’t have the stop sign stops too. You don’t have to stop! Keep going! I don’t need you to to let me go because there is no one behind me for at least three blocks! And don’t you dare wave me on impatiently. Drivers in my area are awful.

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2 hours ago, icemiser69 said:

There was that one time long ago when I was speaking to a customer service rep from the south and she through  out the "bless your heart" line at me.  I may not be the sharpest tool in the shed, but even I knew that was code for something completely unpleasant.  I was perfectly nice through the entire phone call, well that is my side of things, and I am sticking to it.  She must have thought I was an idiot for not knowing what she was really saying.

"Bless your heart" often means something akin to "you poor deluded thing" or something more unpleasant, but not always. Sometimes it simply means the person speaking feels bad for you. It depends on how nice the person speaking is.

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I drive through several roundabouts between my house and work.  It's remarkable how many people treat those like four-way-stops.  News flash:  if there's no one in the circle (or within eyesight of the circle), you don't have to stop!  At least they've figured out not to go the wrong way around.  Mostly.

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4 hours ago, CityBoy1986 said:

As a person who has always lived in the south, the constant waving for other drivers to go first at four-way stops can be frustrating. If you want to be friendly, do so by making the process of getting through the intersection as seamless as possible.

This is not a phenomenon limited to the south.  4-way stops are the bane of drivers everywhere, topped only by roundabouts, which are relatively new in my area, and have yet to be mastered by at least 75% of the population.  I wish I were kidding.

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55 minutes ago, MargeGunderson said:

There is an intersection near my house that I have to use regularly. 1 street has stop signs, and the other does not, so there is a clear right of way. Except that half the time I stop at the stop sign, a car on the street that doesn’t have the stop sign stops too. You don’t have to stop! Keep going! I don’t need you to to let me go because there is no one behind me for at least three blocks! And don’t you dare wave me on impatiently. Drivers in my area are awful.

Our downtown has a 4-way intersection but it's a 3-way stop.  It's ridiculous and so dangerous.  You don't know how many near misses I've seen from people assuming that 4th road has a stop sign too, and that happens to be the busiest one of the four. 

Out of towners seem to miss that little sign under the stop that says "three way stop" all the time and then there's brakes slamming and people laying on horns.  Petitions have gone out asking it to be made a 4-way but the PTB seem to think it's all just fine.  🙀

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Here's another pet peeve: I hate it when charter schools insist on referring to all students as "scholars." It's a lingo that is really irritating especially for elementary school. I'm sorry, but a 5 year old in kindergarten isn't a "scholar."

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2 hours ago, Callietwo said:

Our downtown has a 4-way intersection but it's a 3-way stop.  It's ridiculous and so dangerous.  You don't know how many near misses I've seen from people assuming that 4th road has a stop sign too, and that happens to be the busiest one of the four. 

Out of towners seem to miss that little sign under the stop that says "three way stop" all the time and then there's brakes slamming and people laying on horns.  Petitions have gone out asking it to be made a 4-way but the PTB seem to think it's all just fine.  🙀

I thought introducing roundabouts to a bunch of people whose only experience with them was this

was idiotic.  Except real life is worse than the movie because

  • smaller roundabout
  •  its not just Clark Griswold that can't drive in one but everyone
  • the two lane roundabout doesn't just lead to frustration that you'll never get out.  Its tinged with, well that's it, I'm going to die.
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On 11/22/2020 at 2:17 PM, ginger90 said:

I moved from New York to Pennsylvania years ago. Something to get used to was lines moving slowly at the supermarket, bank, et.. So much chit chat. I’ve gotten used to it now, but it can be annoying. It’s not that I’m an unfriendly person mind you, I am patient, but come on people!

My husband once bought the re-usable bags at  our loal grocery.  THe ones they were selling were bright orange with a CHicago Bears logo.  I couldn't care less about sports.  SO, if i went alone, the cashier would inevitably look at the bags, and start talking about "the game"  or "the team" and I would give them a blank look, having no idea what they meant.  they'd indicate the grocery bags.   I actually started packing those bags full, and putting them through the wash each week,  trying to get a little wear and tear going so we could replace the bags with "normal"  ones.  

(Of course, now, with the pandemic, the whole re-usable bag thing is not allowed, and we are accumulating plastic bags like crazy. )

10 hours ago, peacheslatour said:

I had to call the fire dept. one time because the morons next door were burning limbs in a pit and they just kept adding to it until the limbs were out of the pit and all around on the ground. Under several fir trees. On an eighty degree day. The fire marshall was pissed as hell when here got there and reamed the idiots at the top of his lungs.

yes, I had a neighbor who trimmed some evergreen bushes and other stuff and decided to burn it all in his outdoor fireplace. It was a nice day, my windows were open, and suddenly my house was filled with smoke.  The wind had kicked up, and was blowing all the smoke toward my house.  He was burning green branches, and holy crap, the amount of smoke!  I at first had no clue what was happening, called the fire department, and they said they were already on their way, as someone else had already called.  i could hear them getting told off by the fire fighters who showed up. 

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7 hours ago, icemiser69 said:

There was that one time long ago when I was speaking to a customer service rep from the south and she through  out the "bless your heart" line at me.  I may not be the sharpest tool in the shed, but even I knew that was code for something completely unpleasant.  I was perfectly nice through the entire phone call, well that is my side of things, and I am sticking to it.  She must have thought I was an idiot for not knowing what she was really saying.

I'm about as Southern as grits, and every time I've said "Bless your heart" in my 70-plus years I've meant it sincerely. No code, no deceit. Yes, some people say it when they mean something else, whether due to meanness or in jest, but they're in the minority. Please don't judge everyone who says "Bless your heart" by them. Trust your instincts. If your gut told you that the customer service rep had a hidden meaning, you probably were right. 

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4 hours ago, RealHousewife said:

I have a fashion pet peeve. I bought a trench coat and lost the belt after I barely got to wear the coat. It is not nearly as stylish without the belt. Why don't they sell replacement belts? 🙁

Try trolling second-hand shops for a replacement, perhaps you could find an inexpensive coat on ebay or Etsy, just for the belt.  You could appear  totally stylish and choose a belt of another style & color.  For example, choose a 2" or 3" black leather belt, then find a fabulous lapel pin in black (I'm assuming the coat is the classic khaki/tan color).

 

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4 hours ago, RealHousewife said:

I have a fashion pet peeve. I bought a trench coat and lost the belt after I barely got to wear the coat. It is not nearly as stylish without the belt. Why don't they sell replacement belts? 🙁

I can offer you one brown leather glove (for the right hand) to complete the partial look, since I lost the glove for the left hand.  I had the complete pair last winter, but when pulling out gloves as the weather cooled this fall, I could only find the glove for the right hand.  I've gone through coat pockets, probed through the dark depths of the closet in my foyer, and looked under the seats in my car.  Where did it go???  I have gloves in other colors (black, gray, red, navy blue) but that was my only pair of brown gloves.   

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I had one leather sandal that I couldn't find the pair to for years....years. I found it this last summer.  Somehow one of them ended up in a storage trunk while the other one didn't. 

If it were a glove, I would have given up.  But how do you lose a shoe?  The answer is that you clean your closet and accidentally put one shoe into storage.

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13 hours ago, Growsonwalls said:

Here's another pet peeve: I hate it when charter schools insist on referring to all students as "scholars." It's a lingo that is really irritating especially for elementary school. I'm sorry, but a 5 year old in kindergarten isn't a "scholar."

That’s so stupid!! But that sounds like the usual idiocy of a charter school. 

I taught at a charter school for three years—in those three years I learned that I HATE the concept of charter schools period. They’re essentially wannabe private schools that suck up extra money necessary from state public school funding. I felt like the biggest political traitor working there, but I needed the job until I could find something better.


They also work their teachers extra hours for the same(or less) rate of pay as public school teachers. The PD time required of charter teachers is also ridiculous; like we had to go back to work two weeks earlier in the summer than other public school teachers in my area so we could attend the charter’s “Teacher University”, which was basically a bunch of bullshit speeches, community volunteer hours and other random idiocy expected of us for the same rate of pay as other public school teachers still enjoying their summer vacays. 

The worst part is that the charter HS’s expect *every* student to go to college upon graduation: 100% acceptance or nothing, and our students couldn’t graduate along with their class at the main graduation otherwise.
I found that very ludicrous and harmful to student morale, especially since I was a SPED teacher there and my particular students would all ask me why they weren’t allowed to go to college like the other students. My class was smart enough to understand that they were being left out, yet they weren’t smart enough to understand why their specific degrees and IQ levels wouldn’t allow them to go to colleges like the other students/friends in other classes. I was SO tired of feeling like the dream killer just because my students’ parents wouldn’t explain the college stuff to them either. 
 

Sorry to go off on a tangent, @Growsonwalls! But yeah, “scholars” or not, most charter schools are just the worst. 

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27 minutes ago, Sun-Bun said:

The worst part is that the charter HS’s expect *every* student to go to college upon graduation: 100% acceptance or nothing, and our students couldn’t graduate along with their class at the main graduation otherwise.

College or nothing is a whole other peeve of mine but what happened at that school is utter bullshit. We need way more focus on trade schools. Welders, plumbers, craftspeople, construction, mechanics, infrastructure are all valuable and needed skills. I work for an international gas and welding company and one of our biggest concerns is the aging population of welders (at our customers) and sales people. The skills and knowledge we (as a society) will lose as these people retire is going to be insurmountable without a shift in post-high school education culture.

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45 minutes ago, Sun-Bun said:

 

The worst part is that the charter HS’s expect *every* student to go to college upon graduation: 100% acceptance or nothing, and our students couldn’t graduate along with their class at the main graduation otherwise.
I found that very ludicrous and harmful to student morale, especially since I was a SPED teacher there and my particular students would all ask me why they weren’t allowed to go to college like the other students. My class was smart enough to understand that they were being left out, yet they weren’t smart enough to understand why their specific degrees and IQ levels wouldn’t allow them to go to colleges like the other students/friends in other classes. I was SO tired of feeling like the dream killer just because my students’ parents wouldn’t explain the college stuff to them either. 
 

Sorry to go off on a tangent, @Growsonwalls! But yeah, “scholars” or not, most charter schools are just the worst. 

I taught at a charter school where the students went on a "college trip" -- to Yale, NYU, etc. Keep in mind these students were at this school because of being homeless/in foster care/on probation. It was an alternative high school for kids who could not keep up in a regular high school. During the trip one boy finally said, "This is bullshit. We're never going to go to Yale. If we go to college we're going to a community college. All you guys are doing is showing us the things we'll never have." 

The other thing every charter school does is accept a high number of students with IEP;s, bill for "services," and then not provide them. The money goes towards trips and dinners and conferences for board members.

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The charter school my grandson attended from pre-K through mid year 1st grade was one of those that boasts it has a 100% college acceptance rate. During 1st grade, I was monitoring my grandson’s reading and writing homework, and was appalled. Numerous grammar and spelling mistakes on homework instructions, repeated failures of the teachers to respond to questions I wrote back, and other issues. I did a bit of online research and found this particular chain of charter schools is notorious for hiring teachers who haven’t gone through traditional teacher training but instead have content-related degrees. Now I can understand that you must have teachers who know their content. But when they have no clue about the types of learning strategies that are appropriate for a 1st grader versus a high school kid, that’s a problem. My understanding is that the teacher pay there is fairly low compared to our public schools. Eventually I convinced my son and DIL to put their son into our neighborhood public school. I won’t say the public school is perfect, because no school is, but the homework is appropriate for his grade level and the instructions don’t make me want to bleed red ink all over them to correct mistakes. 

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7 hours ago, SuprSuprElevated said:

Try trolling second-hand shops for a replacement, perhaps you could find an inexpensive coat on ebay or Etsy, just for the belt.  You could appear  totally stylish and choose a belt of another style & color.  For example, choose a 2" or 3" black leather belt, then find a fabulous lapel pin in black (I'm assuming the coat is the classic khaki/tan color).

 

Thank you for the tips! I've been meaning to check secondhand shops but forget. I tried looking at Amazon and had no luck. Etsy is another place I don't shop much but I know they have a lot of beautiful things. It was a black CK coat, so I feel like the belt needs to be black and have the same material. The coat wasn't the most cheap, so all the coats I've seen that are similar are too expensive to purchase just for the belt. 

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1 hour ago, RealHousewife said:

Thank you for the tips! I've been meaning to check secondhand shops but forget. I tried looking at Amazon and had no luck. Etsy is another place I don't shop much but I know they have a lot of beautiful things. It was a black CK coat, so I feel like the belt needs to be black and have the same material. The coat wasn't the most cheap, so all the coats I've seen that are similar are too expensive to purchase just for the belt. 

Try Ebay. I've found a lot of stuff on there that I couldn't find anywhere else.

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2 hours ago, peacheslatour said:

Stupid arthritis. I know I need a hip replacement, possibly both. I hate not being able to walk very far.

Cortisone didn't work so surgery was the last resort and I wish I'd done it sooner. Six days and I'm walking around the house unassisted. I do use the came to up and down stairs and try not to do too much because being sliced open and given lots of drugs take a toll. Before surgery, there were days I was literally holding onto door jambs and appliances to haul myself around. And those were the good days. I cannot adequately express how fantastic it is to walk normally again.

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1 hour ago, ABay said:

Cortisone didn't work so surgery was the last resort and I wish I'd done it sooner. Six days and I'm walking around the house unassisted. I do use the came to up and down stairs and try not to do too much because being sliced open and given lots of drugs take a toll. Before surgery, there were days I was literally holding onto door jambs and appliances to haul myself around. And those were the good days. I cannot adequately express how fantastic it is to walk normally again.

If you don't mind, how long did it take before you could get up and walk. And is there a hospital stay involved?

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12 hours ago, peacheslatour said:

If you don't mind, how long did it take before you could get up and walk. And is there a hospital stay involved?

I had an anterior, as opposed to posterior, procedure, and was up and walking within hours, and went home the same day. Some people choose to stay overnight at the hospital but unless there's an issue or the surgery was really late in the day, there's no reason to.

In order to leave, I had to practice getting in and out of a car and walking up and down some stairs. I was given a walker, which was helpful the first couple of days because the drugs make you fuzzy, and a cane for the stairs.

You do need someone with you the first couple of days because you will be foggy and tired so it really helps to have someone there to do things like make lunch.

ETA: There are still moves that hurt--like putting on socks--but that's why there's a set of daily exercises to strengthen the leg. My current nemesis is the abduction/adduction one where you try to move the leg out to the side and back, like making a one-legged snow angel. It's easier to do now than it was 5 days ago but I've got a way to go.

Edited by ABay
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On 11/22/2020 at 1:48 PM, annzeepark914 said:

If you're in the south, at an intersection, and the light turns green? Don't honk the horn if the cars in front of you don't move fast enough for you

This reminds me of a story my dad told me that he witnessed some decades ago:

The BQE (Brooklyn Queens Expressway) was full of bumper to bumper traffic;  no one was moving.  He saw a guy honk the horn relentlessly at the guy in front of him, as if that guy could move.  Then that man got out of his car, took out an ax from the trunk, went to the honking car and began attacking the hood of the car.  After a few chops, he calmly went back into his car and sat quietly until the traffic finally began to move.

Pet Peeve:  People who honk when they really shouldn't.

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Many years ago, I was driving into Chicago in rush hour traffic, bumper to bumper, just crawling along, and the guy behind me started flashing his lights at me, as if I could have moved anywhere to let him get another 8 feet closer to his destination.  At least he wasn't honking his horn.  If only I had an ax in my car . . . 

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Here's another pet peeve. I have a friend whom I like but I can't stand the way she texts. Even though she speaks in person like the med student she is, in text this is how she writes:

"Das soooo cuuuul."

"I'm okeee howbutchu?"

"I'm tryna tell uuuu."

"Yaassssssssssssss!!!"

I don't know how else to tell her that I think she sounds like a total poser with the way she texts. She doesn't talk anything like this. In fact she's almost painfully polite and proper grammatically when she speaks in person. What gives?

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I had to teach my mother, remotely, how to set up spellcheck on email using a Mac.  I told her if she didn't start using it, I was going to send an ambulance because her emails read as if she were having a stroke. 

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11 hours ago, Growsonwalls said:

Here's another pet peeve. I have a friend whom I like but I can't stand the way she texts. Even though she speaks in person like the med student she is, in text this is how she writes:

"Das soooo cuuuul."

"I'm okeee howbutchu?"

"I'm tryna tell uuuu."

"Yaassssssssssssss!!!"

I don't know how else to tell her that I think she sounds like a total poser with the way she texts. She doesn't talk anything like this. In fact she's almost painfully polite and proper grammatically when she speaks in person. What gives?

That is horrifying. I'd have to text her back, informing her that she's been hacked by encryption coders.  

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This isn't directed at any poster in particular, and it's not limited to this forum, but it bugs me when a poster intentionally misspells the name of a character or person they don't like.  Maybe it's funny or clever the first time, but c'mon...  Similarly, when a podcaster or commentator deliberately mispronounces the name of a public figure that they don't like.

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