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facebook parties where they are selling stuff (junk).  If you expect me to spend money than you need to entertain me!

  Splitting the bill is fine expect I don't drink so if you order drinks that are usually $5.00 or more splitting the check is really unfair.

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I'm a little confused. If people are mentioning right up front for people to bring food, how is that not a potluck?

I suppose it's just a case of formalities to me---if you simply organize it as a fun and stylishly casual occasion unto itself, like "So-and-so's Potluck Party", I can somewhat dig it. But when it's carelessly attached to a festive occasion like holidays or birthdays or even housewarmings, it just seems stingy and déclassé.

I've even heard of potluck-style engagement parties and wedding receptions! Yeesh!!!

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That same friend I talked about posts up, If we split, she gets annoyed and very vocal if it's just split 50/50. She will add it up, and she will ask for money. However, if hers cost more, I never hear a peep. Which again is why I don't hang out anymore with her. I don't want to feel used or embarrassed by cheapness. It ruins my meal to have to wait for her to scour the checks like she's looking over a medical chart. Which is why my motto is...go out when and where you can afford it!!!!!!!!

She also rarely leaves a tip because she thinks I tip well. Hmmm...which means I either have to then tip double or the server is no longer getting a good tip for the table.

Grrrr

I'm sorry to keep going on about the same person. We were friends for several years and used to vacation together and go out 2-4 times a week together. It was really hard for me to stop the friendship because it was so one-sided and I got my feelings hurt at least two out of every three times I saw her.

Wow - I've gotten stuck in a larger group setting where they end up splitting the bill evenly despite big differences in drink consumption and meal prices, but in smaller groups or one on one I haven't encountered that.

 

Some people just have very different views about money and check splitting.  If a friend repeatedly took the tactic yours did, I would just do the same to her or ask for separate checks from the start to save the hassle.

 

I used to work with a woman and we both would run low on cash sometimes due to our own circumstances.  There was $20 we lent back and forth to each other over the course of a couple of years, that we don't know who ended up owing whom at the end of that job.  She was a great friend, as well as co-worker, but after reading your story I appreciate her even more!

 

ETA: Bad tippers are the worst.  When I went to visit family that I only saw every 5 years or so, my cousin warned me ahead of time about Grandpa :  Do not let him leave the table after you because he would take the bulk of the tip.  He was still thinking a tip in the amount (not percent) he would have left back in the day was perfectly adequate and you were just a fool with your money.

Edited by DeLurker
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ETA: Bad tippers are the worst. When I went to visit family that I only saw every 5 years or so, my cousin warned me ahead of time about Grandpa : Do not let him leave the table after you because he would take the bulk of the tip. He was still thinking a tip in the amount (not percent) he would have left back in the day was perfectly adequate and you were just a fool with your money.

Sounds just like my mom. She's a 70-something Boomer and still can't fathom how tipping nowadays has gone up to 20-25% from the former standard 15%---and we even argue about her leaving *that* much, because she always insists on using her credit card to go out to eat, and if I don't have spare cash with me to grab the tip myself, it can get beyond embarrassing when getting the check and figuring up the tip. She will literally argue over 50 cents, and get downright ugly over one dollar.

To add insult to insult, I've left a cash tip on the table and have caught her stealing it if I don't watch her. I can't tell you how many times we have argued over this, and I've told her how she is basically stealing from servers. And me!

It really makes going out to eat with her not enjoyable, because she only regularly goes to 2-3 local restaurants she likes(often with other family/friends who won't add tip, unlike me) and I can tell by our service when the servers have spread the word that her cheap ass is an awful tipper. And then she'll ask me why we're getting treated so poorly, and I have to tell her it's because the servers all know how awful her tipping is and so then she finds another local restaurant to haunt and it's the same damned circle of shame all over again.

Yes, I've tried to get her to just enjoy a meal at my place or hers, but she likes going out and getting served her cheap Chardonnay. She won't go anywhere else or do anything else.

Never mind that she is a rich woman---she's also been raised to be a cheapskate her whole life.(her mother was a product of the Great Depression and even would pull regular "dine and ditch" routines back in her childhood)

Edited by Sun-Bun
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Sun-Bun, does she say "As a senior..." ?  Because my mother prefaces every comment with "As a senior..."  (She's done it since age 55, BTW.)

 

"As a senior, it's important to vote." "Yes, mother. I'm not a senior, but I believe it's important to vote."

"As a senior, groceries are expensive." "Yes, mother.  I'm not a senior, but I agree groceries are becoming increasingly expensive."

"As a senior, I like cookies."  "Me too."

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Sun-Bun, does she say "As a senior..." ? Because my mother prefaces every comment with "As a senior..." (She's done it since age 55, BTW.)

"As a senior, it's important to vote." "Yes, mother. I'm not a senior, but I believe it's important to vote."

"As a senior, groceries are expensive." "Yes, mother. I'm not a senior, but I agree groceries are becoming increasingly expensive."

"As a senior, I like cookies." "Me too."

My grandma would just say, "I'm old, and I can say and do what I want." Luckily, it was just words to family and friends because she stopped driving and going out alone decades before she passed away. She'd turn from being a sweet lady to too loudly proclaiming my cousin's new girl friend was "a big old gal, probably playing ball like a boy."

I loved her very much. Times like this though I tried to be quiet and let my mom change the subject. I can't be rude to a 95 yr old over something like that. It would cause a huge scene and I'd feel awful all around, drawing more attention to what was said anyway.

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ETA: Bad tippers are the worst.  When I went to visit family that I only saw every 5 years or so, my cousin warned me ahead of time about Grandpa :  Do not let him leave the table after you because he would take the bulk of the tip.  He was still thinking a tip in the amount (not percent) he would have left back in the day was perfectly adequate and you were just a fool with your money.

 

My grandma (now deceased) used to leave a DIME "for the girl" at a restaurant.  Old habit, she was born in 1890 and back then, a dime was a tip - 10% of what you might pay for a sandwich and coffee at the Woolworth's counter. And, women didn't go to dinner alone, so men were in charge of tips at nice restaurants. 

 She would also yell out - You left your money on the table!  when she saw dollars, because back in her day, tips were only coins.  

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I actually changed supermarkets because the one I used to use was like walking into a poorly supervised daycare.  My mom used to bring me to the store when I was a child but when we got there she would give me a cart and a list so I could do half the shopping.

 

Stupid question:  why has tipping gone from 15% to 20+%? since tips are a percentage of the bill and the prices of the food go up regularly? 

Edited by Qoass
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Don't get me started on tipping.  I live in Canada, where servers are paid at least minimum wage.  I believe two provinces allow alcohol servers to be paid 50 cents an hour less.  So your waiter is already making at least $10 an hour just for showing up.  Is it great money? No, but it's the same as in many industries in which workers are not tipped.  Yet wait staff are looking for 20% tips, because that's what happens in the US.   The suggested tip on point of sale machines are 15, 18 and 20%.  Our sales tax is also 15%, and the machine calculates tip on the post tax amount.  I just choose "other amount" and manually enter the figure that I was charged as 15% tax.  

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Quof, I desperately wish the US would keep up with Canada and the rest of the world---down here the servers' "minimum wage" is $2.25. Wish I was joking.

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I'm well aware, which is why I tip at least 20% when in the US, and have explained as much to relatives travelling to the US. But I'll be damned if I will do it Canada unless the service is truly exceptional.

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I actually changed supermarkets because the one I used to use was like walking into a poorly supervised daycare.  My mom used to bring me to the store wen I was a child but when we got there she would give me a cart and a list so I could do half the shopping.

 

Stupid question:  why has tipping gone from 15% to 20+%? since tips are a percentage of the bill and the prices of the food go up regularly? 

It is kind of hard to understand, because there are times when a lower-priced meal at a casual restaurant is generally cheaper than a fancier place.  If I'm paying $100 for dinner, why do I give the waiter $20, but a $40 tab at a less-fancy place might mean the waiter works just as hard, but gets $8?   Similarly,  when a waiter opens and pours a $20 bottle of wine, it is exactly the same amount of work for the same waiter at the same place  to open and pour a $100 bottle.  Why is the tip a percentage of the PRICE of the food or wine?  

 

I know waiters don't get paid a ton of money, and have to work for tips.  But, there are times when I'm paying $10 or $15 for someone to BRING THE FOOD TO THE TABLE, and the same person is waiting on a bunch of other tables at the same time, it just seems like they could be making a couple hundred bucks during the dinner service.  

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That's why I'm confused!  I don't understand why I would leave the same tip for someone who has taken my order and served and cleared it as I would someone who filled my water glass as I walked to the buffet line.

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Why is the tip a percentage of the PRICE of the food or wine?

In part because the IRS calculates the taxable tip income of waitresses and waiters as being X percent of the meal's price, regardless of the size of the actual tip. I don't know what the rate is now, but in the late '90s it was 8.5%. Which means that if you give the guy who served you a $100 meal the same tip that you gave the guy who served you a $40 meal (say $6.00), he's getting screwed because the IRS taxes him as if you gave him $15.

And that's not even counting the fact that in many places the waiters have to split their tips with the busboys and bartenders.

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Tipping brings to mind the "delivery charge" by Papa John's.  They specify it isn't a tip for the driver and the driver should still be tipped.  From what I understand, some other pizza chains do this as well.

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Tipping brings to mind the "delivery charge" by Papa John's. They specify it isn't a tip for the driver and the driver should still be tipped. From what I understand, some other pizza chains do this as well.

My restaurant delivery does, too. A 30$ meal becomes 55-60$ with tax, delivery fee, and tip. But, a lot of times, I'm not leaving my house, and I dont want pizza. Although, yesterday it was icy, and even Papa John's was closed. Boo.

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Am I horrible

 

 

'I was in a large grocery store on a Saturday morning - my bad - and the place was packed.  You could hear a child "literally" screaming bloody murder throughout the store.  Seriously, shoppers were stopping in the aisles to ask each other "Is someone murdering a child?"   When I finally entered the same aisle as the not-yet-dead child, I saw a boy about 8 screaming his head off, while mom and grandma carried on shopping.   Finally, one older lady whispered "poor dear, maybe he's autistic."  I don't give a tiny rat's hiney what the child's problem was. There were two adults.  If he can't handle grocery stores at all, he can stay home with one of the adults.  If he was just having a temporary meltdown, one adult should have taken him the car. I get there are times when parents don't have a choice but to drag a child along.  But this parent had a choice.

Am I a horrible person that your story made me laugh? Not at the child, but at the visual image of the idiotic adults who ignored that poor child's cries of distress.

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I'm tired of people insisting that someone doesn't count as a celebrity just because they're useless and/or haven't done anything special. A celebrity is someone who is famous, and a person can be famous without having done anything special. "Celebrity" does not imply worthiness. Like it or not, people like the Duggars and Bristol Palin are celebrities.

 

(And trust me, I don't like it!)

Edited by galax-arena
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A long standing peeve...why don't the latches and locks in a public restroom ever match up?

 

ETA:  I was in the grocery store today and they had a number of products on sale for $1.88.  The regular price for these items (which is shown) is $1.89.

Edited by DeLurker
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Since we're on the subject of public restrooms, I asked if I could put up a sign in my gym locker room

 

"You just touched your genitals. Please wash your hands." 

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When you're talking to someone and they act like they have some earth shattering observation that turns out to be..

"Well, I actually think BBTheory isn't a smart show like everyone else thinks. And, it's not even funny"

"All of Nickleback's songs sounded the same"

Or

"Kristen Stewart only makes one facial expression"

It's like....yeah, I have heard that before. You're brilliant. Now, please leave me alone.

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I get bugged by the intellectual elitist who say they never watch tv. Not watching tv is fine, your air of superiority when you say it is not.

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I had a French teacher in high school who said he hated TV so much that he'd thrown his parents' TV out a high-rise apartment

He also brought me a large gift basket one day after asking me to stay after class (and miss my next period) because he said I'd been looking sad. That was an odd thing to explain to all my other teachers and some other students who were wondering why I was carrying a huge wicker basket filled with candy, notebooks, and cat calendar/pencils. Nice or creepy? Who knows. He was gone the next day.

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Ewwww...pervy teachers go beyond a pet peeve. I dealt with one and it was just so uncomfortable. And your at an age where you know it is weird but not what to do about it.

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I hate, hate, haaaaaaaate people who eat food at the grocery store before paying for it. Whether it's opening cookies to appease your little brat, grazing on chips as you shop ('cause, you know, you don't want to starve), or, even worse, breaking open cases of berries and eating a bunch then closing them back up and putting them back, exposing others to your grubby, sticky-fingered germs, I have to fight the urge to scream at them in a spittle-flecked rage. Honest to God, if you can afford to shop for groceries, you can afford to wait to eat after you pay, you entitled bunch of pigs!

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That is an interesting one.  What exactly is it you hate about somebody giving a cookie to an 8 year old in the supermarket or somebody eating a grape from the bunch he or she has placed in the cart?

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grazing on chips as you shop

 

I did this once, and was so embarrassed.  After a busy day in which I skipped lunch, a friend and I hit traffic on an already-long drive to a vacation condo, so by the time we checked in and headed to the local store to pick up food for the weekend I was shaky and lightheaded from hunger.  And my friend is a slow, indecisive shopper.  So I scarfed down quite a few chips while we meandered the aisles.  Now, I handed the half-empty bag to the cashier to scan once we reached the register, so I didn't steal the chips (as opposed to people who eat a handful of nuts from the bulk bin or put away half their bunch of grapes by the time they check out) -- I just looked quite tacky walking through the store eating them. 

Edited by Bastet

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I opened a bottle of water once that I grabbed in the checkout line from one of those little refrigerators. There was a person in front of me engaged in extreme couponing. I felt no remorse. Of course I paid for it.

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I opened a bottle of water once that I grabbed in the checkout line from one of those little refrigerators. There was a person in front of me engaged in extreme couponing. I felt no remorse. Of course I paid for it.

Nor should you feel any remorse.  It's not like you were chowing down on a bag of Five Guys in the middle of the Macy's shoe department.

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What exactly is it you hate about somebody giving a cookie to an 8 year old in the supermarket or somebody eating a grape from the bunch he or she has placed in the cart?

 

I'm not the original Peevee, but I'll respond:

 

eating food that is sold by weight without paying, placating kids with food when they're not really hungry, (or if they are hungry, why are you shopping at meal time?), the fact that no one looks good shovelling food into their mouths without utensils and napkins while walking...

 

and the simple fact that North Americans seem incapable of going more than 30 minutes without shoving food in their pie holes.   Movie theatres are now more about the food than the movie.   Don't get me started on people munching on food during a Broadway show when I've paid a lot of money to hear the dialogue.  Or the guy sitting next to me on a 60 minute flight who had to eat a bag of zesty cheese Doritos 12 inches away from my nose.   The notion of "hunger" is meaningless to most of us. 

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My tipping pet peve is when someone uses a gift certificate at a restaurant, and then doesn't leave a tip, to make sure they have a "free meal", even though the tip is obviously not part of the gift certificate.     I've had this happen more than once, then I feel obligated to cover thier tip, rather than get in an arguement about it. 

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I'm not the original Peevee, but I'll respond:

 

eating food that is sold by weight without paying, placating kids with food when they're not really hungry, (or if they are hungry, why are you shopping at meal time?), the fact that no one looks good shovelling food into their mouths without utensils and napkins while walking...

 

and the simple fact that North Americans seem incapable of going more than 30 minutes without shoving food in their pie holes.   Movie theatres are now more about the food than the movie.   Don't get me started on people munching on food during a Broadway show when I've paid a lot of money to hear the dialogue.  Or the guy sitting next to me on a 60 minute flight who had to eat a bag of zesty cheese Doritos 12 inches away from my nose.   The notion of "hunger" is meaningless to most of us. 

 

Thank you for having my back, quof. Children should learn to wait for treats, or else you're going to have hateful, gluttonous brats on your hands. If you're not starving, you can wait until you've paid to eat. Not to mention it's gross when people stick their dirty fingers in packages of fruit and leave them, leave a crumb trail down the aisles as they shop, and I used to work as a bagger, I've seen many a greasy credit card handed to the poor cashier to pay because they just had to have their fried chicken from the deli right now. One woman in line was licking and sucking her fingers from the chicken so damn loudly, I wanted to ask her if she wanted a minute alone.

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At the Whole foods near me, they had a gelato counter where you could buy (over-priced) gelato cones.  You were SUPPOSED to get the cone, then walk to the cashier and PAY FOR IT.  plenty of parents would head right for the gelato counter, and let their kids eat the cones while they walked around and shopped.  It's an ice-cream cone, so there's no wrapper or anything, you just tell the cashier to charge you.   I even heard one mom refer to the ice cream  as "free".    Really?  because when I get it, they charge me $3.  

When i shopped with my kids, I'd let them pick out a snack or even a dessert, for LATER.  Like, pick out a flavor of ice cream that we will all have after dinner.  They didn't need to eat at the store - unless there were specific samples that I let them have.  

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I once watched a man with four children circle an entire Costco store, taking 5 of every single sample being offered on a Saturday morning.  They didn't have a cart. They weren't shopping.   Apparently this was how he fed them breakfast , and recovered the membership fee?  There's a reason it's called the Trailer Park Buffet.

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I once watched a man with four children circle an entire Costco store, taking 5 of every single sample being offered on a Saturday morning.  They didn't have a cart. They weren't shopping.   Apparently this was how he fed them breakfast , and recovered the membership fee?  There's a reason it's called the Trailer Park Buffet.

 

Funny, at my Costco they call it the "Senior Lunch". 

 

 One sample of each is fine. Two…. eh, pushing it, but forgivable. Five of each, though? Tacky to the extreme.

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The five refers to one sample for each person, I think (father plus four kids), rather than one person taking five helpings.  They're almost always bite sized, and you only get a fork/spoon/toothpick/whatever, so it would be hard to split one sample between two or more people.  I guess, then, I'm not automatically opposed to members of a large family taking one sample each; it sounds bad, because then there isn't much left of that batch for the other patrons hovering around the table like they haven't eaten in weeks, but I guess it really isn't any different than my mom and I each taking one when we make a Costco run together.

 

But going to Costco for the express purpose of making the rounds of the sample stations?  Now I'm going to have to keep an eye out for cart-less samplers, to see if this is a trend at my local store.

Edited by Bastet
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Yeah, my parents and I used to go to Sams Club sometimes on the day they had samples and try them. But, it wasn't a routine. We'd always buy other things, and we often bought what we sampled if it was good and relatively inexpensive. It was just fun. Yes, that was my idea of a fun day when I was in 7th grade.

Anyway, I don't think I've eaten a sample of something in years except some coffee last year, which I did buy because I needed a new whole bean coffee. I saw another girl say she'd buy it, and then throw it randomly on a shelf. What was that about? Change your mind that quickly or just want to lie to sound...like a baller?

Lol. I have no clue. Maybe she has trouble saying "no" to people.

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I once watched a man with four children circle an entire Costco store, taking 5 of every single sample being offered on a Saturday morning.  They didn't have a cart. They weren't shopping.   Apparently this was how he fed them breakfast ,

 

 

Years ago I heard a "date from hell" story from a woman whose date took her to the local supermarket for "dinner".  Girl was smart to ditch the jerk before they even left the store.  Nothing about that date would have ended well anyway.

 

I'm not crazy about people who eat groceries before paying for them, but it's way worse when you have people who eat and then stuff the empties on another shelf somewhere! 

 

Another peeve for me related to the abuse of store samples involves free samples available at Farmers Markets.  I've seen people who help themselves to the samples (which could be anything from honey to fruit to cheeses or meats) then walk off, and not even buy something.  It's not as if the person didn't like what s/he was eating (since s/he took so many samples) but s/he's too cheap to buy.  Plus, that person selling their wares spent a lot of time and money crafting the foods they're selling.  They lose money to these jerks!

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Another peeve for me related to the abuse of store samples involves free samples available at Farmers Markets.  I've seen people who help themselves to the samples (which could be anything from honey to fruit to cheeses or meats) then walk off, and not even buy something.  It's not as if the person didn't like what s/he was eating (since s/he took so many samples) but s/he's too cheap to buy.  Plus, that person selling their wares spent a lot of time and money crafting the foods they're selling.  They lose money to these jerks!

It would be nice that if you are going to sample something, you would at least have some intention of buying something if you really like what you are tasting. 

 

How about the people who jump on the wine tasting tour with only the intention of getting loaded?

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Sam's/ Costco sells in bulk and some of the sample items are expensive/too much food. While I might like the sample, I don't want eleven billion of them in my freezer. If I like a sample, I seek and price out a smaller box of product elsewhere. My family all take samples. If I do buy the product, I don't want it to be sitting there in the family fridge just for me.

 

I've taken/drank a soda soon after I've arrived at a store because we had to park forever back. They just ask you if you want it separate from your bagged items and hand it over to you.

 

I hate it when you go to a restaurant and your food is brought to you cold. It's happened to me on several occasions, and I've always politely let the waitress know. But I kind of don't want to eat something you vaguely knocked the chill off of the second time around. I also hate when a waiter or waitress remarks that someone didn't eat very much during their meal. Sometimes portion sizes are huge. And I will never send something back because I didn't like the food itself (as long as it was prepared well).  I ordered shrimp at a seafood restaurant. It was "endless" and I thought the flavors sounded interesting. I hadn't had shrimp in forever. Turns out that's because I truly hate shrimp. Yes, I could have something I do like, but I still have to pay for the shrimp so I'll just soldier on. Remarking about not eating enough just makes me feel guilty.

Edited by AltLivia

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I don't like it when wait staff push dessert. I don't really like desserts usually, and I'm not going to change my mind. I understand a lot of places they have to ask or leave a dessert menu just in case, but the pleading and asking again and again is just annoying. I've finished my meal. I liked it. I'm full. I'm paying you and tipping. Move on. I try so hard to be friendly and polite. I never say anything. I just wish they wouldn't do that. It's embarrassing and wastes time if I need to head out. Or, that they think I'm cheap.

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I hate it when you go to a restaurant and your food is brought to you cold. It's happened to me on several occasions, and I've always politely let the waitress know. But I kind of don't want to eat something you vaguely knocked the chill off of the second time around.

 

 

Here's a tip.  Put ketchup on it before sending it back. (Hell, even if it's not French fries, although serving cold fries should be a hanging offense).  That way you know they prepared new food rather than simply throwing your plate in the microwave.

Edited by Quof

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Here's a tip.  Put ketchup on it before sending it back. (Hell, even if it's not French fries, although serving cold fries should be a hanging offense).  That way you know they prepared new food rather than simply throwing your plate in the microwave.

Thanks, Quof. I'll try that one next time.

 

 

I don't like it when wait staff push dessert.

I will go to a restaurant (after a light meal at home) and get dessert and coffee, and that's all, I haven't ordered dessert at the end of a restaurant meal since I was a kid. Even then my parents rolled their eyes at me. I couldn't finish it. I hate when they push dessert too. Especially, when your table is loaded with dishes and everything's obviously winding down, I totally understand that they have to offer, though.

 

Sort of in the restaurant pet peeve line. Anyone know why they give you bread at the beginning of a meal? Fills you right up (to the point that I can't finish my meal). Especially if you're waiting awhile. At home, I have bread with my meal - to dip in sauce, gravy or what - have -you. I love bread, but it;s just like, "ah yes, bread with my nothing!"

Edited by AltLivia

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Good bread is such a treat - I don't often eat it at home. I'd feel totally gypped if I didn't get bread early. I'll fill up on it happily and take the bilk of my main course home.

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On the other hand, I'm annoyed when they bring bread to the table without asking.  I'm not a big fan, and depending on who I'm dining with, they may not be, either -- wasted food disgusts me, so if they drag out a big chunk of bread that will have to be tossed because of the collective tastes of the particular diners, my meal has just turned into something disturbing through no fault of my own.  A simple, "Would you like some [whatever kind of] bread for the table?" seems a small thing to ask, and is the norm at many restaurants, but there are still a significant number that just plop a plate of bread down on the table.

 

Restaurants here no longer automatically bring a glass of water for every diner to the table, since we're in a perpetual drought, and I similarly see no reason for bread to still be exempt from the "we shouldn't run such a high risk of this going to waste by serving it to everyone" philosophy.

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