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Pet Peeves: Aka Things That Make You Go "Gah!"


Message added by Mod-Tigerkatze,

Your Pet Peeves are your Pet Peeves and you're welcome to express them here. However, that does not mean that you can use this topic to go after your fellow posters; being annoyed by something they say or do is not a Pet Peeve.

If there's something you need clarification on, please remember: it's always best to address a fellow poster directly; don't talk about what they said, talk to them. Politely, of course! Everyone is entitled to their opinion and should be treated with respect. (If need be, check out the how to have healthy debates guidelines for more).

While we're happy to grant the leniency that was requested about allowing discussions to go beyond Pet Peeves, please keep in mind that this is still the Pet Peeves topic. Non-pet peeves discussions should be kept brief, be related to a pet peeve and if a fellow poster suggests the discussion may be taken to Chit Chat or otherwise tries to course-correct the topic, we ask that you don't dismiss them. They may have a point.

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55 minutes ago, riley702 said:

LOL. I just now got this. Slow morning yesterday.

Also, what about doors that don't lock? I've run into those semi-frequently. I'd be beyond peeved if I couldn't wait for a locking stall, had someone try to barge in and then yell at me to lock a non-lockable door.

Well that happened to me last night. I was at a nice restaurant (out of town) had to use the restroom and the door didn’t lock. Yes, someone did open the door and caught me “fixing myself” (full disclosure I was fully covered but tucking). There should have been a lock installed or a sign asking folks to please knock first. Who knows. Perhaps that wait staff finds this amusing. I didn’t. 

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29 minutes ago, forumfish said:

And you never know if the person in the stall has a more liberal definition of "modesty" than you do -- I once opened a bathroom (not stall) door at a family funeral, only to find that my cousin's girlfriend was using a stall with the door wide open. It embarrassed me, but not her.

What I dislike is being in a stall in the women's bathroom and have a little boy peek at me from the adjoining stall. Hey, kid, if your mom has to take you in the women's room with her, fine, but she should teach you some manners!

EXACTLY!!  And parents need to tell little boys that it's not nice to pee all over the toilet seat in public bathrooms.  A concert hall near me has unisex bathrooms and two brothers (they looked like they were maybe 6-8?) walked out of a stall leaving pee ALL OVER THE PLACE.  I immediately walked out.  If you're not allowed to do this at home, you're DEFINITELY not allowed to do this in public.  

 

NOTE:  Women can be just as guilty regarding...spillage.  Those of you who hover:  PLEASE BE CAREFUL!!!

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33 minutes ago, PRgal said:

 

NOTE:  Women can be just as guilty regarding...spillage.  Those of you who hover:  PLEASE BE CAREFUL!!!

Or wipe your pee off the seat with toilet paper so the next woman doesn't wipe it up with her bare butt!! You chose to hover, you clean  it up!

I think Ellen Degeneres did a bit on the non-locking toilet - how you sit with one arm up to block the door if someone tries to come in.

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It's not a Southern thing, I know the saying and I've never been to the south.

There is a stall at my work where the door doesn't lock correctly, I've sat down before thinking I've locked it and had the door swing open.

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53 minutes ago, Nordly Beaumont said:

Or wipe your pee off the seat with toilet paper so the next woman doesn't wipe it up with her bare butt!! You chose to hover, you clean  it up!

For the love of whatever you worship, yes! To add to that, I am glad whenever public toilets provide the tissue seat covers, however, it is YOUR job to make sure your cover flushes with the rest of the remnants, please don't leave it for the next person to have to remove!

And I'm going to add to the bathroom pet peeves:  What in the world takes some women so damn long to go to the bathroom???? I am mainly referring to venues where there are long lines (concerts, bars, sporting events, etc.) and they can see there is a line of women out the door but they take their time undressing, they wait until their business is completed before even reaching for the toilet paper, and then take several minutes to redress! I guess having gone through boot camp where you PEE 'N GO (as my DI used to yell), I don't get why women dawdle in the stall! Especially when you know people have to pee just as bad as you did, get it done and get out! 

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I might be a contender for the fastest rest room record in history.  As a longtime concert attendee, I learned to get in and get out.  I'm so fast that I didn't feel bad when I sneaked into the Exit of the ladies room (I haven't done it in years. You walk backwards slowly.) to avoid the long lines of slow as snails women.   I won't go into details, but, when your favorite band is playing, you go real basic. lol

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Ah, the public restroom pervert hunch as one walks along the line of closed stalls peering under to look for legs.

New rules: If a women chooses to crouch and hover, she needs to raise the seat.

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I concur with all the bathroom stall peeves but my I add another bathroom peeve: 

While I appreciate the thought process behind the air hand dryers the ones that are as loud as a damn space ship taking off next to me scare the shit out of my young kids and leave me having to console my crying child while I'm trying to pee or wash my own hands and in most cases leave them terrified of even entering a public restroom. 

And on that note, the automatic everything in the bathrooms make me look like a complete idiot and convinced I am actually a ghost since nothing responds to my constant hand waving be it sinks, soap, paper towel dispensers or toilets.

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6 hours ago, Popples said:

I once went to a charity function at a hotel that had bathroom stall doors that not only closed all the way when vacant, the doors went from ceiling to floor so it wasn't possible to even look for feet to see if someone was in there. Sure enough, the first one I tried the person inside had to yell "Occupied!" and I was so embarrassed and apologized profusely.

I really like the "occupied/unoccupied" door locks on airplanes. I hate everything else about the bathrooms on airplanes, but I like that on the doors.

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You don't have to have health issues to be slow in the bathroom, there are legitimate reasons why it may take awhile.   I never use the handicapped bathroom and I always use multiple seat covers.

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1 hour ago, auntlada said:

I really like the "occupied/unoccupied" door locks on airplanes. I hate everything else about the bathrooms on airplanes, but I like that on the doors.

And unlike SOME non-airplane bathrooms, they actually SPELL IT OUT.  Some places just use red or green.  I can see those colours, but not everyone can. 

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(edited)

Time for another round of "What the Hell is Going on Downstairs?"

The married couple who lives downstairs [aside: they are like "Jack Sprat and his wife"; I say this as a non-small woman myself] in their 800-square-foot, one-bedroom, one-bath apartment with their three dogs (two large and one small) seem to have another two grown people (one woman, one man) and an infant (like, still swaddling stage) staying with them over the past couple o' three weeks. The baby doesn't cry much, thankfully.

The brood has spent several evenings out on the couple's front steps (few cement steps that go down from the parking lot to their patio entry) into the wee hours. Which would be fine if my and my upstairs neighbor's bedroom windows weren't so poorly insulated so that it sounds like their raucous conversation and laughter were going on in our bedrooms. And if it weren't going into the middle of the night every night.

I think my upstairs neighbor said something to them because I heard her go outside and come back in one of those weeknights at about 1:30am. Yesterday night, I heard/saw the wife downstairs complaining about how she could sit out there if she wanted and she wasn't "doing anything illegal" as she was vaping and blowing smoke directly at the baby in the arms of the guy staying there. Hilarious.

Tonight, one of the guys is out there coughing up a lung. It's the most disgusting, phlegmmiest, wettest cough I've ever heard.

They mostly keep their shenanigans to the living room, which is below my living room. So while they are noisy, I am usually in my bedroom in the evening, so I don't hear much of their goings-on inside.

It's a tossup, really. On one hand, more people equals more noise. On the other, someone is usually home now, so the dogs aren't howling or barking for hours on end. On the third hand, you'd think one of those people could walk those dogs so they would expend some energy/get some exercise.

I'm really thankful for my upstairs and adjacent neighbors because they're so quiet. If I baked, I'd make them something.

And yes, I am fully cognizant of the fact that I have no life.

Edited by bilgistic
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6 hours ago, bilgistic said:

And yes, I am fully cognizant of the fact that I have no life.

Yes you do. You have two wonderful kitties that give you affection and joy. You have those of us here that enjoy your posts. Personally I hate that your neighbors have always given you so much grief but I do get amused (sometimes...more like SMH)  at just how awful and stupid that your underneath dwellers can be. (With the description of that cough it leads me to think that you have another pot smoker below but at least it isn’t wafting into your apt). It’s your life and you don’t need to compare yourself to anyone else. If you are happy that’s all that matters. 

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@bilgistic If it was at all possible, I'd offer to swap you with my neighbor. I'd love to send my neighbor to your apartment so he can deal with all the noise. If you were my neighbor, you'd be in sunny South FL living in a quadplex with 3 other quiet people and no dogs, smoking, etc. We could sit outside on our patios and have daily bitch sessions about all the rude jerks, dumb drivers, etc. My neighbor has a huge tree (it's truly beautiful) that blocks his view of our block and you'd get to see squirrels, birds, and our neighborhood stray cats all stopping by for a visit to sit on/underneath the tree's shade.

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I wouldn't do well in prison.

I'm perfectly happy puttering around my house all day and not going anywhere.  Send someone out to work on my house and I go batshit stir crazy.   I must leave to do ….something.

Why are they still here? 

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20 hours ago, ParadoxLost said:

I wouldn't do well in prison.

I'm perfectly happy puttering around my house all day and not going anywhere.  Send someone out to work on my house and I go batshit stir crazy.   I must leave to do ….something.

Why are they still here? 

Lol, I'm the exact same way. I move from room to room to avoid them and bury my head in my computer or if they're here to fix the WiFi, I bury myself in a book.

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(edited)

That is currently my ultimate peeve -- STRANGERS IN THE HOUSE! It's only workers (not friends) and I can tolerate someone cleaning/repairing/checking for a couple of hours, but when I had a bit of remodeling done that required two weeks of SITH, I ended up legitimately sobbing one night after they left.

I think it's the oppressive feeling of not being able to be myself or do what I want in my own freaking house. My sanctuary and refuge is being invaded!

Edited by 2727
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My peeve with strangers in the house for repairs, renovations, etc.  is based on the risks that they could be criminals. Maybe, I watch too much true crime tv and read the news a lot, but, it does happen.  I try to vet people, but, you never can tell.  Sometimes, people see things they like and decide to come back for them to steal.  I try to use family owned and operated businesses that have family members on their crew and who have been around for many years.  But, still, they hire employees and you can only hope they did good background checks. 

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(edited)

Arrrrrrgggghhhh!

So, I realized that I had a B&N gift card in my account that I'd forgotten about (probably because I have a Kindle now instead of a Nook). So with my newfound loot, I decided to splurge on a $60 book (no idea why it's so pricy) called The Rise of True Crime: 20th-Century Murder and American Popular Culture. So, it arrived and I left it on the table for a few days. When I finally opened it, I found that the entire interior is a biography of Sacagawea! So I contacted customer service and requested a return label and a replacement: same thing--even though I asked the rep to try to have someone check the book first (which they should do anyway so they can send it back to the publisher)! This book is available at Amazon, and its reviews indicate that Sacagawea is not an issue, but this is Barnes & Noble money so that does me no good. Man, I just wanna read the damn book!

My BF just said that maybe, for some reason, the universe is trying to tell me something. And considering that I was thinking the very same thing as he told me that, maybe it's true! 

Edited by TattleTeeny
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When she was having work done on her house, Kathy Griffin said she would take a photo of each worker, which seems like a reasonable precaution if you're worried about theft or whatever.

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1 hour ago, TattleTeeny said:

Arrrrrrgggghhhh!

So, I realized that I had a B&N gift card in my account that I'd forgotten about (probably because I have a Kindle now instead of a Nook). So with my newfound loot, I decided to splurge on a $60 book (no idea why it's so pricy) called The Rise of True Crime: 20th-Century Murder and American Popular Culture. So, it arrived and I left it on the table for a few days. When I finally opened it, I found that the entire interior is a biography of Sacagawea! So I contacted customer service and requested a return label and a replacement: same thing--even though I asked the rep to try to have someone check the book first (which they should do anyway so they can send it back to the publisher)! This book is available at Amazon, and its reviews indicate that Sacagawea is not an issue, but this is Barnes & Noble money so that does me no good. Man, I just wanna read the damn book!

My BF just said that maybe, for some reason, the universe is trying to tell me something. And considering that I was thinking the very same thing as he told me that, maybe it's true! 

Wait, the cover of the book is the true crime info and the actual book is about Sacagawea?

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Haha, I have a Dwight peeve. At my new job, I have to work with a kind of odd guy. I had dreams of him becoming the Dwight to my Pam. But no; turns out he's not a lovable quirky jerk but just a a plain jerk.

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23 minutes ago, TattleTeeny said:

Haha, I have a Dwight peeve. At my new job, I have to work with a kind of odd guy. I had dreams of him becoming the Dwight to my Pam. But no; turns out he's not a lovable quirky jerk but just a a plain jerk.

LOL!  In theory, Dwight seems like a nerdily-fun guy you can chat with about wild animals or conspiracy theories, but an in-person Dwight is probably just plain awkward.

My big pet peeve now is pyramid schemes.  I mean, it's easy enough to avoid them, right - just ignore the friend who keeps asking 'hey how would you like to make extra income?'

BUT...  a few weeks ago I was grocery shopping and this girl struck up a conversation with me after 'mistaking' me for a friend of hers.  She seemed very nice and harmless and when she asked to exchange numbers I thought nothing of it.

Fast forward 2 weeks and she calls me: "hey how would you like to make extra income?"  Aaaaarrrrrrrgh!!!  She went on reading her script about an 'amazing business' opportunity and gave no details when I questioned her, but insisted I come back to the cafe in the grocery store to learn more, so I agreed.

Of course I am not showing up ;-). But is this what people are doing now?  And is this even legal to look for marks in someone else's place of business?  Yikes...

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Ugh.  I am so pissed that I wasn't brave enough to tell her to F off.  I will block her but part of me wants to tell her I reported her to the store manager- I didn't, bc what can they even do.  Dammit I just want to keep shopping at my favorite store.  They have the best cheese market lol

By the way, how creepy is it that they insist on only giving details in person?  It makes me worry for the people who actually do get pulled in :-(

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If you see her again, tell her you had to bow out because you are dealing with an overwhelming personal issue. It's been really hard for you lately, and you really don't want to talk about it. You wish her well, and you walk away.

She doesn't need to know the personal issue is her.

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6 hours ago, Kiki777 said:

BUT...  a few weeks ago I was grocery shopping and this girl struck up a conversation with me after 'mistaking' me for a friend of hers.  She seemed very nice and harmless and when she asked to exchange numbers I thought nothing of it.

Fast forward 2 weeks and she calls me: "hey how would you like to make extra income?"  Aaaaarrrrrrrgh!!!  She went on reading her script about an 'amazing business' opportunity and gave no details when I questioned her, but insisted I come back to the cafe in the grocery store to learn more, so I agreed.

Of course I am not showing up ;-). But is this what people are doing now?  And is this even legal to look for marks in someone else's place of business?  Yikes...

I'll do you one better.  A woman at the gym I go to has talked to me several times, about general stuff.  Then she hits me up to buy some vitamin supplements.  There's a weight loss packet, and energy packet,  blahblahblah, and when I say I can't afford these super -expensive vitamins - she wants me to buy in to "make extra income."   I decline,  but the next time, she seems to have forgotten that we've been through this already.

So - the last time, she's changing, I just go to my locker and grab my stuff.  She shirtless and bra-less, talking to me  about the goddam vitamins, and I am super uncomfortable having a conversation with her and her tits.  yes, I'm a bit of a prude about being undressed in front of other people, and about talking to naked or semi-naked people.    I mean, it's the GYM, so, yeah, people are in various sates of undress.  But I'm NOT having a conversation with you until you put your damn clothes on! 

(and even then, I'm not buying into your vitamin pyramid scheme). 

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(edited)
11 minutes ago, backformore said:

I'll do you one better.  A woman at the gym I go to has talked to me several times, about general stuff.  Then she hits me up to buy some vitamin supplements.  There's a weight loss packet, and energy packet,  blahblahblah, and when I say I can't afford these super -expensive vitamins - she wants me to buy in to "make extra income."   I decline,  but the next time, she seems to have forgotten that we've been through this already.

So - the last time, she's changing, I just go to my locker and grab my stuff.  She shirtless and bra-less, talking to me  about the goddam vitamins, and I am super uncomfortable having a conversation with her and her tits.  yes, I'm a bit of a prude about being undressed in front of other people, and about talking to naked or semi-naked people.    I mean, it's the GYM, so, yeah, people are in various sates of undress.  But I'm NOT having a conversation with you until you put your damn clothes on! 

(and even then, I'm not buying into your vitamin pyramid scheme). 

Unless it's something she sells for the gym, I'd tell management about that. Gyms sometimes do sell supplements, and if this one does, the management/owners don't want someone else selling at the gym. Also, if someone is doing that, it will make their gym less attractive to other customers.

Also, never give a reason not to buy something because they've got answers they were given in their training materials. Don't even say, "Not right now," because that gives them a reason to ask again later. "No, thank you," is all you should say -- repeatedly if necessary. If the repetition goes on too long, I drop the "thank you," but I start off trying to be polite. If they still persist, I might get to the point where I tell them what I really think about the pyramid scheme and the crappy products, but I try not to do that because they have answers for those things (even if the answers are crap and lies).

Edited by auntlada
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(edited)
1 hour ago, auntlada said:

Also, never give a reason not to buy something because they've got answers they were given in their training materials. Don't even say, "Not right now," because that gives them a reason to ask again later. "No, thank you," is all you should say -- repeatedly if necessary. If the repetition goes on too long, I drop the "thank you," but I start off trying to be polite.

Same here; "No, thank you, I'm not interested" is the truth, and all I owe anyone -- I don't list reasons to justify my lack of interest.  I usually don't have to repeat myself in person (often once on the phone, where they don't have the full effect, just my voice), because my demeanor tends to make clear sales tactics aren't going to work on me.

1 hour ago, backformore said:

So - the last time, she's changing, I just go to my locker and grab my stuff.  She shirtless and bra-less, talking to me  about the goddam vitamins, and I am super uncomfortable having a conversation with her and her tits.  yes, I'm a bit of a prude about being undressed in front of other people, and about talking to naked or semi-naked people.    I mean, it's the GYM, so, yeah, people are in various sates of undress.  But I'm NOT having a conversation with you until you put your damn clothes on! 

Oh my.  I mean, I have no problem being undressed in front of strangers and I have carried on conversations in various stages of undress with friends, but I can't imagine chatting up a random fellow patron of the gym, spa, whatever without putting on my clothes.  If we're next to each other at the lockers, I'm in the midst of dressing/undressing and just want to ask a quick question (e.g. they've come in from swimming, and I want to ask if the pool is crowded), I'm not going to worry about covering up to do that, but a whole conversation with a stranger?  It's just weird, first.  And whatever your own comfort level being half naked in that situation, how do you not think about the distinct possibility of the other person's discomfort with it?

Edited by Bastet
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7 hours ago, Kiki777 said:

She seemed very nice and harmless and when she asked to exchange numbers I thought nothing of it.

Sorry that you're having to deal with face to face infomercials, but man do you and I live in different worlds! I don't give my phone number to anyone outside my family, including my doctor's office. They have an online patient portal and can freaking use that to contact me.

(If any of them were here they'd definitely be peeving about me, but I consider them a potential source of leakage to my telemarketing insurance company.)

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(edited)

I've rarely been approached in person for MLM schemes more than once by the same person, probably because I've mastered the combination of a polite yet icy "I'm not interested" and the "Don't fuck with me" glare. I have unfriended some people on FB because their feeds turned into one giant advertisement for various cosmetics, jewelry, etc. But even worse to me than MLMs that sell tangible products are the ones that sell self-help or self-awareness workshops. Years ago someone I was working with on a project, thank goodness for a short project, decided she wanted to pull me into her bullshit workshops. She initially just mentioned that she facilitated some self-development workshops that I might find interesting, and I responded that I didn't have time for anything like that. As we continued to work together, she got more persistent about it, and capped it off by telling me that I needed to attend her damn workshop series because, "You don't know who you really are, and I can tell you things about yourself that you don't know." That pissed me off to the point that I responded a little more at length than I normally would, and essentially told her that she had no idea who I was because I chose to use a specific persona at work that revealed to others only what I was comfortable revealing, and nobody in the entire workplace knew who I "really" was and I preferred it that way. (Which was fairly accurate because I was at that point a token liberal in a sea of far-right conservatives; since my political beliefs were not part of my job, I kept them to myself, and had been advised by another colleague there, who was also liberal, not to let anyone know I was an atheist because then I would not be offered to convert from contract work to regular employment.) The whole situation annoyed me because I was there to do my job, not to socialize and certainly not to be hit up by someone trying to sell me snake oil in the form of a workshop, and on top of that, I'm fairly sure there was some official policy forbidding employees from soliciting anyone for stuff, even fairly innocuous things such as selling Girl Scout cookies. 

Edited by BookWoman56
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(edited)

This peeve combines two of my peeves in one: blatant liars and shitty drivers. I was on my way to work in my ACO truck as I was on call last night. I was driving straight and all of a sudden this idiot (talking on her phone of course) turns into my lane from the left and cuts me off within inches of hitting me. No one was behind me so I know she did it on purpose. I honked my horn and she brake-checked me. The next lane was clear as well as in front of her so I  swerve around her to get away from her. I go on my merry way, go to the next left turning lane, when the next jackass going straight decides he wants to turn left at the last minute and also cuts me of within inches. So I also gave him a quick honk to say "Hey, watch it".

I get to work and find out the first idiot filled a complaint, saying I was driving recklessly in and out of lanes, didn't use a turn signal (I did) , and that I was honking aggressively, expecting everyone to get out of my way.Two quick honks to say "Watch it" is not aggressive. I explained what happened, and he agreed that it was likely was a set up between both parties to try to cause an accident with a county vehicle.

I WISH the county would put dash cams in our trucks as its our word against these idiots, who are usually too busy on their phone to pay attention to the road. I'm so annoyed with having to defend myself when I'm the careful and present driver.

Edited by AgentRXS
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AgentRSX - shitty drivers who aren't at all careful piss me off so bad! I have a fear of driving anyway (I do it, but rarely and on quiet roads Sunday mornings when everyone is either at church or in bed). People die because of these assholes (three in my tiny lonely life alone).

I take the bus and that's not even save from the bad drivers! People making right turns in front of the bus! It's always a zooming fast right turn, because they want to go before the bus pulls out. I would think people would understand that the bus stopped to let people off and those people just might be crossing the street - but NO! I guess they think the bus is see-through and they know for a fact there's no one crossing the street. I don't cross the street until the bus is gone (after very nearly being hit), but it still irritates the crap out of me when people do that! 

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13 hours ago, BookWoman56 said:

 Years ago someone I was working with on a project, thank goodness for a short project, decided she wanted to pull me into her bullshit workshops. She initially just mentioned that she facilitated some self-development workshops that I might find interesting, and I responded that I didn't have time for anything like that. As we continued to work together, she got more persistent about it, and capped it off by telling me that I needed to attend her damn workshop series because, "You don't know who you really are, and I can tell you things about yourself that you don't know." 

Omg that sounds like NXIVM.  Like, super-creepy Lifetime-movie level shit.

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21 minutes ago, Kiki777 said:

Omg that sounds like NXIVM.  Like, super-creepy Lifetime-movie level shit.

NXIVM?  

I sit staring at those letters, and, nope, nothing comes to mind.   (sorry, you just hit on one of my pet peeves - it's like a puzzle I can't solve) 

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1 hour ago, backformore said:

NXIVM?  

I sit staring at those letters, and, nope, nothing comes to mind.   (sorry, you just hit on one of my pet peeves - it's like a puzzle I can't solve) 

Sorry about that- it's pronounces 'nexium' (like the heartburn pills lol).  A bizarre sex-cult/pyramid-scheme that made the news earlier this year when the 2 top people were arrested.  They'd lure people in with weird 'empowerment' workshops and they were encouraged/pressured to recruit people.  No actual product being sold other than bullshit.

Oh yeah, and they they branded women with the leaders' initials and took naked pictures of them so they had something to blackmail them with.  

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(edited)

I hate it when I manage to lose a potato or onion in the back of the pantry (they drop and roll sometimes) and don't realize it until it begins to rot.  I hadn't had a potato or onion mishap lately, but I got some veggies from my dad recently and didn't realize that I had left one small bag with some yellow squash in it in my laundry room until today.  Whew!  What a rank smell!  It's kind of a combination of B.O.,, sweat, and bad breath.  I threw out the gooshy bag (it had been kind of hidden behind some other stuff and I missed it) and sprayed air disinfectant, but it might be a while.  I have one of those candles that is supposed to help get rid of smoke and cooking smells.  Maybe I should light it up.  

Edited by BooksRule
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13 hours ago, Kiki777 said:

Omg that sounds like NXIVM.  Like, super-creepy Lifetime-movie level shit.

No, this was just the garden variety "Think positive thoughts and the universe will open itself up to grant you all you desire" combined with "Take charge of your own career." I did feel a little sorry for this person, as about a year later she got fired essentially for having a same-sex relationship with a mid-level manager in the company, who also got fired. And while my basic attitude is that employees' sex lives are no business of an employer, provided everything is consensual and the relationship is not between person A and person B, when person A reports to person B, I still felt a bit like given the extremely conservative corporate culture there (where an instructor once demanded that I remove a video from a course because the customer in the video had come out of the closet), she and her partner should have seen that coming. Nobody was supposed to know about their relationship, but this was a place where people were prone to snoop.

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