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Pet Peeves: Aka Things That Make You Go "Gah!"


Message added by Mod-Tigerkatze,

Your Pet Peeves are your Pet Peeves and you're welcome to express them here. However, that does not mean that you can use this topic to go after your fellow posters; being annoyed by something they say or do is not a Pet Peeve.

If there's something you need clarification on, please remember: it's always best to address a fellow poster directly; don't talk about what they said, talk to them. Politely, of course! Everyone is entitled to their opinion and should be treated with respect. (If need be, check out the how to have healthy debates guidelines for more).

While we're happy to grant the leniency that was requested about allowing discussions to go beyond Pet Peeves, please keep in mind that this is still the Pet Peeves topic. Non-pet peeves discussions should be kept brief, be related to a pet peeve and if a fellow poster suggests the discussion may be taken to Chit Chat or otherwise tries to course-correct the topic, we ask that you don't dismiss them. They may have a point.

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29 minutes ago, MrSmith said:

  Even when women have a nametag on, such as at a retail store: 1) the nametag is often too small, too poorly placed, and too far away from me to read, and 2) I'm not on a first-name basis with them. We are not friends; I neither want salespeople addressing me by my first name nor do I want to address them by theirs.

The only times I've ever noticed another woman's name tag is when they share my first name!  My name, Cynthia, isn't all that "weird," but it's not your typical Jennifer/Jessica/Katherine you see just about EVERYWHERE (well, my peer age group would mostly be Jennifer/Katherine/Sarah).

Edited by PRgal
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@MrSmith.   Madam works. I don't mind Miss either.  Use ma'am if you choose, many do.  I was merely stating a pet peeve.  

I left my sunglasses on the counter at Circle K.  The cashier said ma'am your sunglasses!   It is common and I roll with it. 

I correct someone I will have contact with over a period of time like a contractor or anyone doing work for me.  

Edited by wings707
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18 minutes ago, PRgal said:

The only times I've ever noticed another woman's name tag is when they share my first name!  My name, Cynthia, isn't all that "weird," but it's not your typical Jennifer/Jessica/Katherine you see just about EVERYWHERE (well, my peer age group would mostly be Jennifer/Katherine/Sarah).

Just call all women Ashley!  You will be right 50% of the time.   LOL!  

Edited by wings707
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10 minutes ago, wings707 said:

@MrSmith.   Madam works. I don't mind Miss either.  Use ma'am if you choose, many do.  I was merely stating a pet peeve.  

I left my sunglasses on the counter at Circle K.  The cashier said ma'am your sunglasses!   It is common and I roll with it. 

I correct someone I will have contact with over a period of time like a contractor or anyone doing work for me.  

I can see having an easy time remembering your preference in such situations.

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3 minutes ago, Moose135 said:

"Hey Lady!"

"Hey Gorgeous!"  

The place I take my car to be serviced calls me "young lady."  My sons are in their 40s so I really like this one.  

Edited by wings707
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One thousand years ago (or 20) right after I graduated from college, I lived in an inexpensive studio apartment in a not-great part of town (near Central Ave and Eastway Dr, for @Moose135's reference). Because my complex's laundromat was tagged with gang signs(!), I instead did my laundry (and watched "The Simpsons") every other Sunday night at a safe laundromat nearish my complex. A very nice East Asian family owned the laundromat, and every time I went, the father greeted me with, "Hey, lady!" It was somehow endearing and not creepy, believe it or not.

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Is it too much to ask that we (as people) just do our best to call individuals whatever they would prefer to be called and not try to dis them or guilt them for objecting to terminology they may dislike for whatever reasons- regardless of how 'silly' we may think they're being or how 'harmless' the term/s may have been to the caller/s?

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1 hour ago, DeLurker said:

I always hear that in Jerry Lewis' voice.

Me too.

 

2 hours ago, wings707 said:

I left my sunglasses on the counter at Circle K. 

And I always hear "Circle K" with "strange things are afoot at the" in front of it.

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So I just went to the website of my local outlet mall and suddenly my sign-in information for their "VIP Club" is incorrect. Um, no, it's not. After multiple tries, I just tried to create a new account under another e-mail address and suddenly they want my age, gender, income and location to better "serve" me. For future reference, the best way to serve me is to quit trying to expose my personal information for your financial gain. I'm not for sale.

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23 minutes ago, Blergh said:

Is it too much to ask that we (as people) just do our best to call individuals whatever they would prefer to be called and not try to dis them or guilt them for objecting to terminology they may dislike for whatever reasons- regardless of how 'silly' we may think they're being or how 'harmless' the term/s may have been to the caller/s?

I apologize. I hadn't intended it to go that way. So, I'm sorry, @wings707.

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2 hours ago, Moose135 said:

"Hey Lady!"

1 hour ago, DeLurker said:

I always hear that in Jerry Lewis' voice.

 

 I always hear comedian Bill Burr saying it in Jerry Lewis' voice. 

 

On 10/3/2017 at 11:06 PM, StatisticalOutlier said:

I assume he was using a speculum?

LOL. Actually, Dr. Bailey was in labor, and the labor & delivery department was short-staffed for some reason (was this the episode with the bomb?). Otherwise,  I can’t imagine any other reason why one of the residents I teach and have to look at every day would be present during my delivery. 

Anyway, there was a mirror at the end of the bed so Dr. Bailey could watch the event. George was standing at the head of her bed being her labor coach, and at one point he looked at the mirror. Thinking the baby was crowning, he said, “Wow. He’s got a lot of hair.” And that’s when Dr. Bailey told him to stop looking at her va-jay-jay. I guess she doesn’t get Brazilian waxes.

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5 hours ago, wings707 said:

People using it just don't know that it irritates women.  If they did, they wouldn't do it. 

You have a much more optimistic view of people than I do.

 

4 hours ago, wings707 said:

Just call all women Ashley!  You will be right 50% of the time.   LOL!  

I once lived in a condo complex where I was the youngest person by a good 30 years.  A neighbor told me she had a hard time remembering people's names and just called all the women "Ruth."

Man, I loved living there.  Quiet old people who lived independently, half of them on the second floor, so they were with-it enough to navigate stairs.  They were always around, but not nosy.  It was heaven.

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That's how my former condo complex was. There were no kids. Glorious! Oh, how I miss that.

Peeves du jour:

1) I went to Home Depot to get some HVAC air filters. They are hidden in the middle back of the store, and the "filters" sign is on the left inner side of the aisle. Whyyy?? Approximately 75% of my trips to the hardware store are to procure air filters. I'm guessing it's a similar situation for lots of people. (Yet, I think of five other things I "need" when I'm there because the hardware store is magical.) Hardware stores, put the damn filters at the front of the store near the light bulbs!

2) At the self-checkout, I was asked if I wanted my receipt emailed to me. Sure! I love going paperless! I input my email address and finished the transaction, and then the receipt printed out. What?! Whyyy??

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5 hours ago, bilgistic said:

One thousand years ago (or 20) right after I graduated from college, I lived in an inexpensive studio apartment in a not-great part of town (near Central Ave and Eastway Dr, for @Moose135's reference). Because my complex's laundromat was tagged with gang signs(!), I instead did my laundry (and watched "The Simpsons") every other Sunday night at a safe laundromat nearish my complex. A very nice East Asian family owned the laundromat, and every time I went, the father greeted me with, "Hey, lady!" It was somehow endearing and not creepy, believe it or not.

There used to be a discount wine shop near us. The proprietor was a gentleman from China. He used to call me "Honey Bunny" and my DH "Captain". He was a funny guy, Sent both of his daughters through Princeton. When we went to Paris, there was a little wine shop we frequented and the owner was also really funny. We called him "Honey Bunny 2. 

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6 hours ago, Blergh said:

Is it too much to ask that we (as people) just do our best to call individuals whatever they would prefer to be called and not try to dis them or guilt them for objecting to terminology they may dislike for whatever reasons- regardless of how 'silly' we may think they're being or how 'harmless' the term/s may have been to the caller/s?

Is it too much to ask that we (as people) just do our best to not immediately be offended and assume the person may be using a pronoun maliciously upon first contact?

Edited by theredhead77
modified to use correct words "and" instead of "of"
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4 hours ago, peacheslatour said:

There used to be a discount wine shop near us. The proprietor was a gentleman from China. He used to call me "Honey Bunny" and my DH "Captain". He was a funny guy, Sent both of his daughters through Princeton. When we went to Paris, there was a little wine shop we frequented and the owner was also really funny. We called him "Honey Bunny 2. 

And that didn't bother you? Maybe you got close over time. Personally,  I hate it when strangers or near strangers call me honey, baby, sweetie, or the like. 

I have no problem with either Ma'am or Miss. Just bring me damn my keys if I've left them on the counter!

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46 minutes ago, topanga said:

Personally,  I hate it when strangers or near strangers call me honey, baby, sweetie, or the like. 

Living in Charlotte the past 5 years, and I find a lot of that.  Well, not baby so much, but definitely honey, sweetie, and dear.

A hundred years ago...well, 30 years ago...I worked with a guy who was in his 60s at that point, who called everyone "babe".  Men, women, older, younger, it didn't matter.  It was always "What's going on , babe?"  and "How are you doing, babe?"

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Upthread, I mentioned my exciting trip to Home Depot today. I bought some Velcro strapping that can be cut to size for cord wrangling/wrapping. The IT guy at my former job had some and I thought it was such a clever invention (it's double-sided and sticks to itself; it's not like traditional Velcro).

I got home and unpackaged and brought the strapping into my bedroom to wrangle the cords behind my TV, TiVo, DVD player, sound bar, cable converter and modem. I pulled the little bench out that holds all of those electronics and saw the cord spaghetti...and pushed the bench back in place.

I'll have to start completely anew replugging in and wrapping each cord one by one. It'll be very satisfying once it's done, but the day that happens is not today. It's not tomorrow, either.

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14 hours ago, bilgistic said:

saw the cord spaghetti...

I used to be the little bread bag tabbies on the cords and used a sharpie to id what the cord was for.  Sir Robin discovered how much fun it is to bat the tabbies off ruining my whole high tech organization achievement.

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15 hours ago, topanga said:

And that didn't bother you? Maybe you got close over time. Personally,  I hate it when strangers or near strangers call me honey, baby, sweetie, or the like. 

I have no problem with either Ma'am or Miss. Just bring me damn my keys if I've left them on the counter!

He didn't call me that to my face, he would say to my husband if he went there without me "Be sure say hi to Honey Bunny!" So we privately referred to him that way.

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Haha, I just don't give a damn about ma'am, miss, girl, sweetheart, whatever. Just do not abbreviate my two-syllable first name into its common two-syllable nickname. The one-syllable version is OK, though sort of odd if I don't know you that well, but not that two-syllable one--especially if you spell it with letters that are not even in my formal spelled-out name!

Edited by TattleTeeny
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1 minute ago, TattleTeeny said:

Haha, I just don't give a damn about ma'am, miss, girl, whatever. Just do not abbreviate my two-syllable first name into its common two-syllable nickname. The one-syllable version is OK, though sort of odd if I don't know you that well, but not that two-syllable one--especially if you spell it with letters that are not even in my formal spelled-out name!

I hate hate hate hate hate hate, OK, you get the picture, being called Kat.  Ugh.  I hate it. 

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Just now, TattleTeeny said:

Awww, I think I would like that if my name were one that led to "Kat."

I love cats.  I've always had one.  But, I think it may have something to do with when I was little my dad would call me Kat and then say purr purr.  And, even as a little kid I knew that was really dorky.

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16 hours ago, Moose135 said:

A hundred years ago...well, 30 years ago...I worked with a guy who was in his 60s at that point, who called everyone "babe".  Men, women, older, younger, it didn't matter.  It was always "What's going on , babe?"  and "How are you doing, babe?"

Babe was his dude.

 

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Okay, confession time; I call good friends, be they male or female--Dude. [putting on flack jacket and helmet in case I get beaned with rotten fruit/tomatoes].  And a couple of close girlfriends, I do call "babe.' I don't know if this makes me a hypocrite, but I don't find it as insulting as referring to each other as "bitch or beeyotch" among girlfriends. Insulting not only to me, but to the dogs themselves.

As for the Ma'am v Madam, well I've never found it insulting because I've been surrounded by military most of my life, and have friends in the military, and they always refer to women as "Ma'am." I've always thought it as a form of respect. {shrugs}.

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OK, since I think we've  covered a great many angles  re what folks are termed for the time being, I think I'll see if anyone agrees with me re the usage of the word 'sick'.

 

Today, I was standing in line at a restaurant and heard some collegiate say they'd finished some tests and the response  from their colleague was 'That's SICK!' instead 'Great!' or 'Congratulations'.  Really? Why?

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I once asked this co-worker of mine if "you guys did [something or rather, not worth remembering]", and she smiled this nauseating, shit-eating smile (if you've lived in the South longer than six months, you know the one I mean) and said in this vile, sugary sweet, passive aggressive way, 

"No, and I'm not a guy."

Christ in a can, I wanted to cover her in ketchup and feed her to fire ants. By the way, she is so far the only person I've ever met in my life offended by this. I've told this anecdote to my other Southern friends and they agree that she's an idiot.

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31 minutes ago, Wiendish Fitch said:

I've told this anecdote to my other Southern friends and they agree that she's an idiot.

Well, I'm not a Southerner, but I do have friends who are, and I can vouch 100% that they would respond with: "Bless her heart!" Which means, yeah, she's an idiot; or as I like to think, equivalent to  Dana Carvey's Church Lady's "Well! Isn't that SPECIAL?"

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1 hour ago, Wiendish Fitch said:

I once asked this co-worker of mine if "you guys did [something or rather, not worth remembering]", and she smiled this nauseating, shit-eating smile (if you've lived in the South longer than six months, you know the one I mean) and said in this vile, sugary sweet, passive aggressive way, 

"No, and I'm not a guy."

Christ in a can, I wanted to cover her in ketchup and feed her to fire ants. By the way, she is so far the only person I've ever met in my life offended by this. I've told this anecdote to my other Southern friends and they agree that she's an idiot.

I don't say it snottily, but I inform people I'm not a guy. "You guys" is systemically patriarchal and reductive to those who don't identify as cismale. There's not an equivalent for "guys" for anyone else but men. People don't say "you gals" for a group. Here in the South, "y'all" is a suitable replacement and doesn't leave anyone out, no matter how they gender-identify. "You all" could work. "Youse"...etc. Pick your regional dialect.

I seem to recall having this discussion before on one of the forums...maybe? I'm not sure.

Edited by bilgistic
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2 hours ago, GHScorpiosRule said:

Okay, confession time; I call good friends, be they male or female--Dude. [putting on flack jacket and helmet in case I get beaned with rotten fruit/tomatoes]

Everyone and everything is dude. I'll start sentences in conversations I'm having with my boss with Dude blah blah blah. It is gender neutral and while I should reign it in in more professional settings everything and everyone will be dude.

27 minutes ago, Moose135 said:

We have had the discussion before, and "You guys" is the northern equivalent to "y'all", no harm meant by it.

In that sense guys is so gender neutral. It's not referring to a group of guys. It's referring to a group. Guys : y'all : dude all the same.

A dude (male) in IT sent me an email this AM in response to a pain in the ass thing he's been working on for me "yes, dear, your wish is my command". Now to anyone who was randomly looking in they'd be WTF but I know that his "yes dear" is neither submission, patronizing or demeaning. He's being cheeky, my thing is a huge pain in the ass  and I'm totally open to getting a bit of cheeky ribbing.

I wonder how much of this vernacular interpretation is age & regionally based. 

Edited by theredhead77
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2 minutes ago, TattleTeeny said:

I don't mind "dude" except if my BF calls me that. Especially in the context of, "Dude, you're being too sensitive"! Ugh.

That right there is some gaslighting behavior regardless of how he starts the sentence. 

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Pinterest is ruining Google Images for me. Half the images I click on are Pinterest links, and since I use an iPad I can only access Pinterest via the app. The issue is the app opens up to the Pinterest home page and not the image I wanted to see. Sure, I could look at images from Pinterest directly, but it's too aggravating. I just want to click on a pic to enlarge it to see it better and be finished in five seconds, not be sent to a webpage where I have to hunt the pic down for sixty seconds. 

9 hours ago, Katy M said:

I love cats.  I've always had one.  But, I think it may have something to do with when I was little my dad would call me Kat and then say purr purr.  And, even as a little kid I knew that was really dorky.

Awww, that's so cute!! 

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Oh my goodness, while I do use Pinterest to save things in one place, I also hate, hate, hate that it's all that shows up when I'm a'Googlin' for info! For instance, if I ask, let's say, how often can I completely bleach over Manic Panic hair dye, all I get are pictures of chicks with admittedly awesome hair...but no real answers!

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