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S19.E02: Week 2


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No rules = desperation stemming from a dearth of ideas

 

Let's face it - everybody involved with this show is cynical, especially the persons producing it.  They are people ostensibly paid for their creativity but any person on this board could sit down before the season premiere and write out 50% of the storylines leaving blanks for the name.

 

A national park here, a yacht/Windjammer there, Sensitive New Age Guy acoustic musician and/or Bro Country act, beach, hot tub, etc. etc.  Obviously 'romantic' settings have certain things in common but the Habitrail never really changes, only the hamsters.

 

'No rules' is simply a hope that these superficial creatures will come up with something original or spontaneous thus saving the writers some work and maybe, just maybe, deliver THE MOST DRAMATIC EPISODE OF THE SEASON.

 

A scheming Whitney type might take this recipe:

 

-Bachelor quarters on site

-All girls sleeping in mansion with a head count readily available

 

and work out that a late night visit to the Bachelor would give the pair scads of uninterrupted time together even if it was just for a chat.  It would show initiative, it might produce the 'connection' that is often lost despite the planned dates and it would allow multiple visits as long as the plan wasn't exposed.  Of course, there is some danger in the Bachelor spurning the first or subsequent visits but a guy typically needs a sign about the size of the HOLLYWOOD letters anyway (hence the success of the girls who throw themselves at him) therefore he's unlikely to say no.  

 

Sacrifice an hour of sleep for an hour of quality Bach time and you instantly defuse the group date scenario (or tilt it in your favor) and make the 1:1 date a confirmation rather than a trial.  The crews would be bleary-eyed themselves but tough cookies.

 

We know that one unpopular girl stages the Tent Raid but of course it's on a group date therefore any stealth factor is lost.

 

I freely admit I'm overthinking this.  Such is the power of conditioning before and during the show that the girls can't break out of the hurry-up-and-wait mode even when the producers are daring, even begging, them to do so.

Edited by Rainsong
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They kind of started this a little on Andi's season.  1) They allowed Nick to "sneak out" and go to her hotel room and get 1:1 time with her outside of a planned date.  2) Andi wanted to cut more people at a RC than was supposedly planned so they allowed her to, saying "it's your choice".  Maybe they got a positive viewer response from these type of scenarios so they are trying to do more "no rules".

My first recollection is whatever Ben and Courtney snuck off to do on the beach

Then there was Claire (I think) and Juan Pablo in Vietnam

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Who can forget Sean yelling "EMILY, EMILY" through the streets. He ended up going to her hotel then they went to a bar or something and hung out. Then we got multiple shots of them making out against a stone wall. 

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Who can forget Sean yelling "EMILY, EMILY" through the streets. He ended up going to her hotel then they went to a bar or something and hung out. Then we got multiple shots of them making out against a stone wall. 

 

Thanks a lot. Just when I managed to repress that memory.

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Wasn't it just last season when either TB or B-ette gave out multiple first-impression roses? I remember events, just not names connected with them.

 

Although I do remember way back, when Rated R hobbled miles (right?) on his crutches to surprise his B-ette. Was that Ali? I remember the B-ette chasing him through hotel shrubbery later in that season.

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No rules = desperation stemming from a dearth of ideas

 

I agree with everything you wrote, Rainsong, including what you described: nothing says 'this isn't a scripted show' like 'spontaneous' things happening all the time.  Luckily we have a film and lighting crew already in place to document it.  

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I can't remember which blonde said this (and of course, they all pretty much say this) but the "I've never felt this happy before..." ever ever ever ever.  Aren't these girls completely mortified later when they enter back into their normal world that they just said they've never felt so happy to have been on a one-on-one date with someone who is dating 20 women at the same time?

Edited by sasha206
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lol, that is such a good point sasha206. I mean, really, you've never been happier than when some guy who has just made out with a half a dozen women spends ten minutes with you talking BS? The Cool-Aid on this show is 100 proof and they all drink it up.

 

I can't help but wonder, if I was stupid enough to go on this crapfest of a show, if I would get caught up in it all too. My rational mind says I would get my one on one time and talk about normal shit and not the "journey" or that my cousin's friends nephew died in a tragic boating accident two hours before I got on the plane to come here and now I am a widowed virgin who believes an angel should get a rose. I get that when you are competing with 20 something other women (which, I don't "compete" for a man like he's a prize at the fair) you have to bring out the big guns, but I never understood why you would so early on. The kid, sure, they would be a part of his life if you got together, but the dead family members is a weird topic when you've only got a few minutes to be with him before the next 'ho comes and takes him away.

Edited by Mabinogia
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Bikini urban hiking? Worst date ever!

 

Yes! and "crazy"! It's sad that my 10 year old niece has a larger vocab than the people on this show - including Chris whom I thought would be much more articulate...but he really isn't and it hurts my brain so much *bashes head against wall*

s

And don't get me started on the overuse (and incorrect use) of "literally"!

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My rational mind says I would get my one on one time and talk about normal shit and not the "journey" or that my cousin's friends nephew died in a tragic boating accident two hours before I got on the plane to come here and now I am a widowed virgin who believes an angel should get a rose.

 

In all seriousness, almost all of the personal tragedies that contestants on this show reveal as a way to "open up" with the lead involve the untimely death of a close family member, and often a long illness that preceded it...it's not just Grandma dying of old age when she was 90. But I couldn't help but burst out laughing when on Sean's season Catherine took her opportunity to share her tragic tale, which was that she witnessed a tree fall onto and kill one of her friends when they were 12 years old.

Edited by PhilW
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I can't remember which blonde said this (and of course, they all pretty much say this) but the "I've never felt this happy before..." ever ever ever ever.  Aren't these girls completely mortified later when they enter back into their normal world that they just said they've never felt so happy to have been on a one-on-one date with someone who is dating 20 women at the same time?

YES!

Ok, maybe I'm crazy but is the whole "OMG [insert false epiphany]" a reality TV thing or specific to Bachelor or not actually a thing?  I believe that these girls mean what they say and I think they enjoy saying it. I don't think it matters if they watch it back months later.  It's like some hole in the ether that never has to/ can't ever be explained.  Very Bizarre.  

I'm waiting for the first time Chris says "her and I' s relationship".

And THIS!  My ears exploded.

Edited by runforcover
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I know who Ashley S. reminds me of: the lady on a glasses commercial who is looking out the door, saying "Here kitty, kitty!" and a raccoon comes running into the house.  They both have that same smiling vacant look.

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Ha! I know exactly who you mean. "Come and cuddle with Mama!" My cat looks like a raccoon, too and I can totally see that happening. Now all Ashley needs is a long white, Granny nightgown.

Ashley also reminds me of the dimwitted receptionist (Meredith) on "Mad Men," who I think is currently playing a dimwitted receptionist in some commercial.

Edited by JudyObscure
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In all seriousness, almost all of the personal tragedies that contestants on this show reveal as a way to "open up" ...

 

True, and possibly this comes from a place of wanting to connect with people, but I'm starting to get the same reaction to this as I had when Mrs. Pootel was pregnant.  Swear to god, half the people we told immediately launched into their 'labor hell-story' which went on at length, even when my expression became a billboard reading 'WTF makes you think I want to hear this?'

Edited by henripootel
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I'm wondering what century Mackenzie is living in to think that a 33 year old man actually wants to deflower a virgin.  She's been listening to too many Harlequin Romance books on tapes (I seriously doubt her ability to read).  Chris may SAY that's fine for the cameras, but in reality, I really don't think men his age looking to find a sexually compatible mate, want to deal with that. 

THIS.

 

And let's not limit this POV to men. "A friend" told me she deflowered a 22 year old super-hot looking guy and it was, how you say?... TERRIBLE.

Edited by panthergirl13
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Although I do remember way back, when Rated R hobbled miles (right?) on his crutches to surprise his B-ette. Was that Ali? I remember the B-ette chasing him through hotel shrubbery later in that season.

 

Before that, Michelle Money snuck into Jake P's house and tried to get something going with him there. I remember thinking that it wasn't fair. Haa, but she can't have been the first. This would make a fabulous Bachelor/ette trivia question.

Edited by sioux21
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THIS.

And let's not limit this POV to men. "A friend" told me she deflowered a 22 year old super-hot looking guy and it was, how you say?... TERRIBLE.

"Your friend" still kicks all kinds of ass because that, my friend, is well played.

What's the point of being a virgin if you act like a whore? Isn't that just being an incredible tease? I will let you make wishes and rub my belly ring (still gagging) and straddle you whilst heavily making out but fuck no I won't have sex. How dare you imply I'm that kind of girl!

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Before that, Michelle Money snuck into Jake P's house and tried to get something going with him there. I remember thinking that it wasn't fair. Haa, but she can't have been the first. This would make a fabulous Bachelor/ette trivia question.

Not to quibble, but Michelle Money was on Brad's season (Brad's second one) and not Jakes.

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Not to quibble, but Michelle Money was on Brad's season (Brad's second one) and not Jakes.

This cracks me up because it means at least one other person cannot keep seasons straight, they all blend together into one big ... well, mush pit. And there are so many who remember all the details. I know I count on you guys who have good memories. Well, by that I mean good RECALL, not that TB has any "good memories."

Edited by saber5055
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What's the point of being a virgin if you act like a whore? Isn't that just being an incredible tease? I will let you make wishes and rub my belly ring (still gagging) and straddle you whilst heavily making out but fuck no I won't have sex. How dare you imply I'm that kind of girl!

It was truly almost as awkward as nurse Jamie straddling Ben, but at least Chris seemed open to kissing her. I wish we got a talking head response to that!I kind of got the impression that Ashley, is that her name (virgin Ashley as opposed to pomegranate/onion/angel/zombie soul Ashley) has never been allowed to date as a teen/young adult. I have visions of her sulking in her room under her One Direction posters pouting, I'm NOT going to marry your cousin's friend's son from the old country! And if you're not goimg to let me date the cute basketball player in my geometry class, then I'm going to go on the Bachelor and you can't stop me! And here she is never having had a boyfriend and never even having kissed someone, but this is how I've seen people kiss in the movies that mom and dad don't know that I watched! (This all being said when she's 25 or however old she is!)

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Before that, Michelle Money snuck into Jake P's house and tried to get something going with him there. I remember thinking that it wasn't fair. Haa, but she can't have been the first. This would make a fabulous Bachelor/ette trivia question.

 

Not to quibble, but Michelle Money was on Brad's season (Brad's second one) and not Jakes.

 

And I can't believe I'm going to keep this going, but it was *Vienna* who snuck into Jake's room, and that was this big shift in the show, to have this brazen move. IIRC, Jake was sort of confused as to what he was supposed to do ... but as we all know, it ultimately "worked" for Vienna because she, ummm, "won." I guess.

Edited by TiaLou
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"Your friend" still kicks all kinds of ass because that, my friend, is well played.

What's the point of being a virgin if you act like a whore? Isn't that just being an incredible tease? I will let you make wishes and rub my belly ring (still gagging) and straddle you whilst heavily making out but fuck no I won't have sex. How dare you imply I'm that kind of girl!

In my day (a long time ago), we referred to certain girls as " technical virgins". They would do everything except intercourse.

And @saber5055 , I'm with you. I have vague memories of certain bachelor events, but I cannot remember the players.

Edited by backformore
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What I find really weird in these two first episodes is the lack of any deep(er) conversations between Chris and the bachelorettes. I mean, I admired Andi for asking the right questions and making plans and trying to get to know the guys (up until she chose the athlete guy AGAIN), and this season I'd expect to hear the question "how would you like to be a farmer's wife, away from the city, etc?" a lot. On the contrary I just watch a lot of akward moments, a lot of kissing, no mental connection between Chris and any of the women. I like Britt a lot and I hope she is not fake after all (she reminds me of Emily to be honest). What I don't like about the Bachelor is that we rarely see a normal looking woman. Almost all of them are like models, perfect bodies, perfect hair, teeth, smile, make up etc. The most "normal" bachelorette was Ashley in my opinion who had the best luck after all. But I'm wondering, why does Britt for example need a show to find a husband? I mean, I know most of it is fake, but using the word love to make a reality show while it's obvious that almost everything is fake is starting to become old and not cool anymore.

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What I find really weird in these two first episodes is the lack of any deep(er) conversations between Chris and the bachelorettes. I mean, I admired Andi for asking the right questions and making plans and trying to get to know the guys (up until she chose the athlete guy AGAIN), and this season I'd expect to hear the question "how would you like to be a farmer's wife, away from the city, etc?" a lot. On the contrary I just watch a lot of akward moments, a lot of kissing, no mental connection between Chris and any of the women.

Yeah, it makes it seem like the Bachelor is just supposed to kiss all of the women, and keep the ones he likes to kiss.  Keep eliminating them based on kissing skills, until you get to the fantasy suite, where he can have sex with a number of them, and the one who is best in bed WINS!  

 

There's no REAL "dating", where you talk about real stuff - what movies do you like, what do you like to do for fun, what are your religious/political views, current events - ANYTHING.  Up until the fantasy suite, they're all on "first date" behavior, where you try to impress someone with how great you are so you get a second date.  

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But I'm wondering, why does Britt for example need a show to find a husband?

I don't find this particularly far fetched, there are plenty of attractive men/women who can't find a girlfriend/boyfriend let alone husband/wife for whatever reason.  But to quote you, I totally agree with your sentiment that "using the word love to make a reality show while it's obvious that almost everything is fake is starting to become old."

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What's the point of being a virgin if you act like a whore? Isn't that just being an incredible tease? I will let you make wishes and rub my belly ring (still gagging) and straddle you whilst heavily making out but fuck no I won't have sex. How dare you imply I'm that kind of girl!

I don't understand where she's coming from at all. The way she acts + "Oh I'm a virgin!" + I act kind of slutty but I haven't ever even had a boyfriend!" I think the ring and straddling and... combined with the "never a boyfriend" part is what baffles me. I mean, she seems willing to do "everything but" and she's good looking so...why no boyfriend?  I doubt it's religious reasons or parents because (1) the way she acts and (2) going on this show.

 

Plus, it's on television. Plus, it's not like she has to keep up with the other women (because they're restrained, esp. the frontrunners)  or that that's always the way women act on this show because it isn't. I find her behavior very strange and hard to understand, unless she's generally "loose" (but not "in a relationship")--and perhaps not even a virgin--but wants others (parents? friends? potential bf back home?) to think that she is.

Edited by Padma
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If she is a virgin then I'm the pope. Please.

Yeah, I remember being a virgin and not having a lot of experience with boyfriends and I was not aggressive. I was kind of intimidated by it all and not sure what to do or when. Albeit I was 16 or so but I remember being at a party where a hot guy from school was going to kiss me (and Id kissed before!) thinking "oh shit, oh shit". Straddling and making ring wishes, to me, comes with experience. Maybe I was the weirdo who didn't have sexual confidence, I don't know. I had confidence in other areas, but it took some heavy makeout sessions to Dave Matthews and The Cranberries with several people before I felt confident to straddle and make a move. Oh, the innocence lost, haha. Remembering that is bittersweet.

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And I can't believe I'm going to keep this going, but it was *Vienna* who snuck into Jake's room, and that was this big shift in the show, to have this brazen move. IIRC, Jake was sort of confused as to what he was supposed to do ... but as we all know, it ultimately "worked" for Vienna because she, ummm, "won." I guess.

It *was* Vienna. Who knew she was such a game changer? I feel better, for some reason, knowing that Michelle Money didn't throw herself at Jake. I can't even say why, but Brad ranks higher than Jake in my line of Bachelor rankings. Well, I haven't actually ranked the Bachelors, but that might be fun too. Someone has "cheated" in this manner ever since, yes?

Edited by sioux21
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