S01.E02: Courtship and Marriage

[Rhondinella]

From UPtv.com

 

Erin invites her siblings over for a sleepover to help ease the transition from a full house to living with only her new husband, Chad. Zach and Whitney get real about becoming parents and Michaella pays a surprise visit to her beau, Brandon, in Texas, with a chaperone in tow.

 

 

[Sew Sumi]

Not seeing this episode On Demand. I guess the first episode was to promote the show. Oh well, I'll have to wait for those of you who have UP to review it. I hope they show the doctor's appointment that was teased in the previews. 

[Absolom]

I couldn't believe my cable company added UP the very day of the premiere.  I'm not complaining, but it was a surprise.  I'm nosy enough to want to know what the issues with Erin's pregnancies have been.

[BitterApple]

Ooooh, biggest Fundie reveal ever! Zach and Whitney kissed before marriage! I'm sure Gil and Kelly blamed that Jezebel Whitney for leading their boy astray. No wonder it was rumored Kelly wasn't too thrilled with the marriage. FWIW, I also think Chad and Erin kissed before their wedding, they just won't admit to it.

 

Michael has come a loooonnng way in the looks department, but her boyfriend is giving me shades of TFDW. Also, were they engaged at the time of filming, but just not announcing? When Michael hugged Brandon, it looked like she wearing a diamond ring on her left hand.

 

I can't see Alyssa having more than three or four kids. She seemed forced in her interactions with John's nephews. It reminded me of how Jessa Duggar is with small children, like she doesn't really enjoy being around them but has to act like she does. I thought it was hilarious how her brothers praised her culinary skills, followed by the scene of Alyssa pulling pre-made cookie dough out of a completely empty refrigerator. I can't tell if the producers were deliberately going for irony or not...

[Tdoc72]

SewSumi (cute name BTW)--

--Zach & Whit go to dr's appt.  Bradley is still a boy & growing on sched.  Whit slightly nervouse about delivery.  Blah blah about being good parents.

--Zach & Whit admitted they kissed before marriage.  (insert GASP! here)  They went to Kelly & Gil, confessed and were forgiven.  Kelly said no big whoop since they were honest & her hyman is still intact.  (not exact words)  Kelly says couples set their own rules, but the parents insist on a Christ-centered relationship & purity. They'd prefer no kiss until marriage.  Zach & Whit really don't apologize but do say they will not encourage that in others.  (I read on FJ that originally Zach was supposed to be married this spring, but it was moved up to Dec '14.  Maybe the kiss is why?)

--Kelly then goes on to say that the rules they have are for their house.  Once a kid leaves, they can do what they want.  Kelly admits most will make minor changes, but the core values will still be there.  Zach & Whit will let their kid watch Winnie The Pooh, because Zach couldn't when he was a kid. 

--Alyssa chimes in w/the same (about the rules).  She (insert GASP! here) pierced her ears.  John Webster aka Lurch finally speaks saying it was nice to get married and be able to talk seriously w/their spouse and no chaperone.  Alyssa has no food in her fridge, except for a doorfull of condiments.  She again says she might only have 8 or 10 kids. Her Webster neice and nephews come over, and while she's polite, she doesn't seem that interested. Maybe she's still having severe morning sickness.

--Erin & Alyssa both say that are bored sitting around all day while Chad & John are at work.  Seriously?  Read a book, take a walk, volunteer.  I know you don't want to work, but find something!   Do something besides wait for the hubby to come home & inseminate you.  (Sorry, this really annoyed me.) Erin spends lots of times w/her little siblings.  She misses the noise & feeds them fresh veggies.  Kelly admits they don't eat healthy.

--Erin& Chad go to the ob/gyn about her 3 miscarriages.  He thinks it might be PAI, something genetic & blood related.  He puts her on an aspirin & folic acid regimen.  She says she has hope. 

--Mike (as Gil calls her in once scene) is going to visit Brandon.  She tells Gil her chaperone is meeting her in TX.  I'm glad to see they trust her (unlike those Duggars that can barely take a shit in private) to fly alone & meet up w/a friend.  Brandon is surprised to see her and questions if she lied to him during the planning.  She says she didn't lie and wasn't deceitful.  In a talking head, she then repeats the part about her not being deceitful in any way to him.  I found that part weird.  Most dudes could handle a tiny white lie like 'I won't see you for a month' and then surprising him.  Again, it was just kind of weird.  Then they enjoy a lot of sweet sweet frontal hugging.

I think that's it for this episode.  Next week, 2 girls get their driver's licences. 

Edited January 9, 2015 by Tdoc72

[Literata]

Anybody have any idea if all the episodes will be posted on YouTube, or whether the posting of the first one was just a teaser? My cable company doesn't carry UP and has no plans to (yes, I called and asked. [Hangs head in shame]). 

 

I like that the Bateses (see what I did there?) front-hug, but I'm disappointed that Michael's boyfriend is reminding people of TFDW. Poor Michael. I hope she wasn't just in such a rush to get married that she decided to settle. Then again, it's not as if any of these folks seem to have functional gaydar.

 

Ooh, do tell. Where did this come from?

 

it was rumored Kelly wasn't too thrilled with the marriage

 

Edited January 9, 2015 by Literata

[Ljohnson1987]

Erin had three miscarriages? My heart breaks for her. Hope she has a baby soon. Not because she's taught that having babies is all she's good for, but that she truly wants to be a mom. 

[CarolMK]

 I admit that I did like Kellly saying that they have rules in their house, but once the kids leave that they make their own rules. Can you ever imagine MIchelle or Jim Bob saying this out loud? Also, way to go on Zack and Whitney kissing before marriage (trust me Bates, I'm certain that 99% of your viewing audience could give a damn if your kids kiss before their wedding day), and also Michaela and her front hug with Brandon. In addition to Zack saying his son can watch Pooh Bear, and Alyssa stating that she had pierced ears whereas her family doesn't, this is a stark contrast to the Duggar family. The Duggar offspring won't admit on camera to any different kind of thinking that their parents. In fact, a couple of years ago, it seemed to be a big deal that Joshua grew a beard when the family went to England and Israel. Now that both Jill and Jessa's husbands sport beards, it seems to be okay for John David and Joseph to have them as well...I'm sure that before that, all facial hair wasn't allowed because Jim Bob never had it. I did notice the timing seemed strange with Alyssa and the little kids. The clock in her kitchen went from 4:30 to 5 15 pm, which seems like an odd time to have the kids drop over for a visit and a snack. I also laughed about the pre made cookies. At least Erin let her siblings help her make dinner. Overall it seems like Alyssa is doing well away from her family, I'm not sure that Erin could handle it, so it's good that they live so close to her family. I noticed Alyssa's husband doesn't like talking on camera. 

[Dr.Scully]

The Bateses are so much more tolerable right now because their kids actually have personalities and are individuals. I'm really enjoying this show right now; it's infinitely better than the Duggars'. It was nice to see them doing anything differently from their parents, even if it's just sharing a kiss and piercing some ears. And guess what? Everyone lived!

I agree that Michael looks much prettier. She was glowing with happiness and I loved her explanation about the hugs. I get why people got a TFDW vibe from Brandon but I hope it's just because he's a super nerdy bible- school kid. I thought they made an adorable couple with their dimples.

I hope Erin and Chad are successful; I've always loved Erin and her big hair lol. She really seems to have matured. Don't miss that baby voice!

And I love that Zach and Whit will let their kids watch Winnie the Pooh. I know the Bateses drink Gothard kool-aid and are still hardcore conservatives but IMO, they're so much more likable than the Duggars.

[Sew Sumi]

Tdoc72, thanks for the summary! I discovered late last night that I do in fact have UP (it's on high number channels that I never watch). I watched it OnDemand this morning (UP doesn't show it again until Sunday). 

 

I was surprised that the Bates girls don't pierce their ears; many of them wear some huge door-knocker earrings. In fact, IIRC, Ehrlysser wore some on her wedding day. Were her ears still pure then? :D

 

I was also bugged by Brandon's conception of lying. I gathered that they must Skype, and Michael probably said she'd see him soon, or some variant of that. Then Michael shows up at the "bible school" (it's Gothard-based, btw. This guy is hard-core). In a scenario like that, Michael wouldn't have lied; she did see him soon. I just hope that she isn't subjected to this sort of close scrutiny after they're married. It's only been a year, and the bloom isn't off the rose yet. I just hope she isn't so blinded that she makes a horrible mistake, ala Priscilla Keller-Waller, and marry a controlling asshole. He doesn't ping my gaydar like the Fabulous One does; I just get an asshole vibe from him. 

 

I read up on PAI last night (a friend PMed me, knowing I couldn't watch in real time). The doctor's explanation was very simplistic; even on the Folic Acid/aspirin regimen, miscarriage rates are still pretty high. She'll also have to get off aspirin before the pee dries on her EPT. It can cause birth defects if taken in the first trimester. PAI is a recessive-trait, genetic disorder, so other sisters may well end up with the same issues down the road. All this seems to point to Chad and Erin only having a handful of kids, but a ton of miscarriages. When all's said and done, I'll put the over/under on 3 kids. I think she's going to end up with the kind of life Alyssa really seems to want.

 

Alyssa's talk of 10 kids is all talk, IMO. She's going to have all the kids Erin wishes she could have; no more glamorous life in jeans for her in a few years' (and a few more kids) time. 

 

Kelly's feelings about Whitney were pieced together from what she said in replies to comments on her blog. They tried to get Zach to meet ATI girls while he and Whitney were still "just friends." Of course, they ended up just rolling with that; the other three all wound up with ATI types, so the batting average was still over .500. And in the end, they claim that Whitney "was convicted to wear only skirts" (Kelly's words), so she's pretty much been assimilated into the pod, much like non-ATIers derickdillard and Bin in the Duggar ledger.

Edited January 9, 2015 by Sew Sumi

[Absolom]

The episode did not make the top 100 cable shows of the day.  I won't be posting about the ratings again unless I have some numbers to report.  That's quite doubtful.

[CarolMK]

Since it seems a lot of cable providers don't offer the UP channel, will the ratings matter for a network like this? I'm sure that the TLC network pays better than this network does. Since it's a new show, it might do better as time goes on. 

[Absolom]

I don't think I've ever seen an UP show in the ratings charts.  I'm not surprised by that either.  UP has to have some way of quantifying viewership though to charge for advertising.  They may be on Nielsen, but just so far down the lists that we'll never see them.  

[trimthatfat]

I found Brandon's reaction to Michael's surprise quite odd. She didn't lie to him, nor did she deceive him. She said she'd see him soon and it just happened to be sooner than Brandon thought. Like...chill, dude. I also didn't like how Michael kept reiterating that she didn't lie. IDK. I just found that a little off, but they are a cute couple otherwise.

 

If Alyssa has more than 3 kids, I will be very surprised. Erin seems very at ease with children while Alyssa does not, which is okay. I do feel confident that Alyssa won't have more children than she's comfortable with. I think she'll tap out at 4.

 

I think Erin is adorable. I remember being really struck by how juvenile she sounded during her wedding special, but I guess she's matured since then. I hope she's able to conceive and carry a baby to term sooner rather than later.

 

I do appreciate that Kelly and Gil, even if they don't agree 100%, seem to respect their children's decisions even if the choices they make as adults are different than the ones their parents want them to make.

Edited January 11, 2015 by trimthatfat

[BitterApple]

I found Brandon's reaction to Michael's surprise quite odd. She didn't lie to him, nor did she deceive him. She said she'd see him soon and it just happened to be sooner than Brandon thought. Like...chill, dude. I also didn't like how Michael kept reiterating that she didn't lie. IDK. I just found that a little off, but they are a cute couple otherwise.

I agree. The way he kept repeating that she "lied" was odd. Michael told a harmless fib in the effort to do something fun and nice. Like you, it bothered me the way she was almost pleading that she didn't lie. The whole thing rubs me the wrong way because it seems like the closer a Fundie guy is to the Gothard madness, the more controlling and asshole-ish he is. Case in point: David and Priscilla Waller.

 

I also forgot to mention that my mind was boggled that the Bates family had never tried broccoli until recently. It reminded me of my father's family who is rural-poor. They consider Pepsi "juice" and French Fries a vegetable.

[Sew Sumi]

Filming to maintain "plot" has been all over the place. Brandon's birthday was 9/15. Erin and Chad didn't go to the doctor until sometime after their anniversary on 11/2 (she's wearing the ring he gave her as an anniversary present). TH's also seem to be filmed in one batch after the fact; Gil and Kelly said that Chad and Erin had been married for just over a year, but none of the other scenes were that far advanced yet. I think the farthest they've been with Alyssa is mid-October when she said she was 14 weeks. Bradley was born at the end of October, so I think that doctor's appointment was closer to the beginning of October. 

 

My head's spinning! 

 

Can't believe that Tori didn't get a license until she was 18. I guess that means that Erin and Nathan did all the driving back and forth to Clown College for the years that she chaperoned them before she enrolled herself last year. 

[purpleflowers]

I'm glad to see the Bateses on TV. I never did watch "United Bates of America" so I'm not sure how the family was portrayed on that show, but I find "Bringing Up Bates" very intriguing so far.  I second the opinion that the kids in this family seem to have way more personality than the Duggars. 

I think Kelly Jo seems pretty fair with how she imposes her values on the children despite her somewhat extreme views. I thought it was great that she acknowledged that everyone may not follow the same rules they grew up with once they start their own families. I like Kelly's voice and accent, it's really pleasant-sounding! 

My question is, how did Zach and Whitney manage to kiss with a chaperone around all the time? But, more power to them! 

[CarolMK]

I doubt Zach and Whitney had chaperones when he was hanging out with her at Sonic, where they met. I agree this was filmed and spliced together over about a 3 month period so it's a little hard to keep up with what's going on with everybody in real time. 

[SunnyBeBe]

How can a wife/mother of over 20 years claim she doesn't know much about cooking healthy food?  Wouldn't you think that after all those years as wife and mother you would learn how to prepare a nutritious meal?  So what if you ate frozen dinners growing up.  That's just a lazy excuse, IMO.

[zenme]

I imagine Kelly's lack of knowledge of healthy food preparation is due to the lack of money. I suppose that, like the Duggars, they've been feeding a mass of people and trying to stretch their dollars by feeding them starchy canned and processed foods, with very little fresh produce.

[SunnyBeBe]

Well, Kelly said it was because she grew up eating frozen dinners.  Plus, IMO, if you can afford to feed horses, dogs and other pets, then your own kids should come first.  A child who is at least 8 years old and has never seen broccoli???  That's pretty sad.  You can buy large bags of it in bulk.  Green beans aren't expensive either. I just don't understand how parents can boast about their large family and yet the kids were fed garbage for years.  

[CarolMK]

For a family the size of the Bates, it's much more expensive to eat frozen dinners than it is to  make meals from scratch. I don't know if they serve frozen lasagna the way the Duggars seem to do, but even with a large family, making spaghetti and meatballs , roast chickens, or a large pan of either sausage and peppers or kielbasi and cabbage aren't expensive and are easy to cook. Even bagged baby carrots are relatively cheap and whole heads of cabbage and broccoli/cauliflower are really cheap in the fall here in NJ. 

Kelly is only a couple of years younger than I am, and I don't remember much in the way of frozen dinners except for the Swanson tv dinners, and they were single servings, not much to those. My English grandmother lived with us and she made dinners like chicken and dumplings , beef stew, shepherd's pie and meatballs from scratch...all of which I make for my own family, each recipe takes about 30 minutes of prep time...even doubled to serve 12, it wouldn't require that much more time to prepare. 

[trimthatfat]

Well, Kelly said it was because she grew up eating frozen dinners.  Plus, IMO, if you can afford to feed horses, dogs and other pets, then your own kids should come first.  A child who is at least 8 years old and has never seen broccoli???  That's pretty sad.  You can buy large bags of it in bulk.  Green beans aren't expensive either. I just don't understand how parents can boast about their large family and yet the kids were fed garbage for years.  

ITA. I think Kelly was being lazy and honestly, just because they might have 'saved' money by feeding their kids processed junk doesn't mean the children won't pay for it later. It's telling that Alyssa and Erin try to eat healthy in their own homes now. Recently, I went to my mom's house and she had a huge bag of mixed veggies in the freezer. I asked her what she paid for it and she mentioned it was $3. Now, this was a huge bag that could have fed the Bates for a few meals during the week and it was dirt cheap. Where there's a will, there's a way, IMO.