ParadoxLost January 2, 2015 Share January 2, 2015 I'm going to pull just one from the 'making of special' without spoiler tags because its apt. How about using King Richard's line... The Quotes Topic: We agreed I would say the cool things 7 Link to comment
formerlyfreedom January 5, 2015 Share January 5, 2015 "Evil?" "Cruel?" "Vicious?" "Sadistic?" "A B*tch?" "..would love your tight brown body" "How dare you!" "I was talking to Sid..." "Open wide…..like yo mama" "How did you get on the horse?" "I slept on the horse." *some of these may be a bit off, they were my scribbled notes during the first watching.... 4 Link to comment
mtlchick January 5, 2015 Share January 5, 2015 (edited) Given the mixed comments, a line and subtitle suggestion "You're Not the Worst Thing Ever." (that entire song was awesome.) Edited January 5, 2015 by mtlchick 9 Link to comment
CrazyDog January 5, 2015 Share January 5, 2015 I'm still giggling over "I spilled gravy on my tummy flowers." So stupid. So funny. I'm in! 7 Link to comment
HoodlumSheep January 5, 2015 Share January 5, 2015 "How did you get on the horse?" "I slept on the horse." I loved the line delivery by Joshua Sasse on this one. 2 Link to comment
ElectricBoogaloo January 5, 2015 Share January 5, 2015 (edited) Galavant: Nice meeting you. Door's on the wall. Richard: How can you be a hero if you aren't wearing any pants? Richard: Oh, poop. I got gravy on my tummy flowers! Edited January 5, 2015 by ElectricBoogaloo 2 Link to comment
SmithW6079 January 5, 2015 Share January 5, 2015 King Richard: "What's that smell?" Gareth: "Testosterone." 3 Link to comment
Rick Kitchen January 5, 2015 Share January 5, 2015 King Richard: "What's that smell?" Gareth: "Testosterone." Isabella: "What's that horrible smell?" Galavant: "That would be me." 3 Link to comment
SmithW6079 January 6, 2015 Share January 6, 2015 King RIchard to Maddalena after his butching up session with Gareth: I'll be drinking an ale, from the bottle. "That's right, I burped." Link to comment
Trini January 11, 2015 Share January 11, 2015 Madalena: "Stop singing and do what you do best." Jester: "Knock, knock..." Madalena: "NOT THAT." 2 Link to comment
HoodlumSheep January 12, 2015 Share January 12, 2015 Loved Galavant's line about how "heroes get the raisins," (or however it worded. Galavant probably isn't my favorite character, but I love his lines and Joshua's line delivery. 2 Link to comment
Rick Kitchen January 12, 2015 Share January 12, 2015 (edited) "I wish you were my cousin so I could marry you." "I trained in monologues, not poetry." "Good Lord, Gareth. Do you kiss my ring with that mouth?" "I'll be asking the questions around here. Oh, go ahead, I don't have a question handy." Jester, being carried off to jail: "Let me change clothes first, these are gang colors!" Edited January 12, 2015 by Rick Kitchen 3 Link to comment
formerlyfreedom January 12, 2015 Share January 12, 2015 "It's just nice to hear you call us 'maggots' again.You've always been 'maggots' in here (thumps chest)." "I mean, it's gross, but it's not GROSS gross." "I don't always listen when you talk. I will get better at that." Link to comment
Meredith Quill January 13, 2015 Author Share January 13, 2015 I've started a poll which will last until Sat Jan 17th. Update: Option #4 wins! Link to comment
Quinzee January 15, 2015 Share January 15, 2015 "Eunuch, what did you do for fun around here before I conquered you." "We used to have balls, sire." ( probably not the exact lines but it cracked me up!) 4 Link to comment
Trini January 19, 2015 Share January 19, 2015 Madalena: "You sleep in the kitchen?" Chef: "Or...do I cook in my room?" 5 Link to comment
SmithW6079 January 19, 2015 Share January 19, 2015 Madelena: "Gwen, you're having dinner with Smallpox here." Galavant: "Is that how you see me? As some well-groomed, ruggedly handsome yet oddly delicate-featured plaything?" That pretty much describes Joshua Sasse. 4 Link to comment
HoodlumSheep January 19, 2015 Share January 19, 2015 Hocus Pocus Expialidocious! -Xanax (or at least that's what I think he said) I also loved how they slipped in a Harry Potter spell in that sequence. :) 2 Link to comment
Trini January 19, 2015 Share January 19, 2015 (edited) King: "I know you're not a hugger, but if you were, I'd wrap myself around you like a leather jacket made of love!" Gareth: "Xanax?" Chef: "So much Xanax." And the gag of "So, 9 o'clock?" --Rule of threes! Edited January 20, 2015 by Trini 1 Link to comment
allonsyalice January 19, 2015 Share January 19, 2015 Galavant: "Where do you think they're keeping your parents" King Richard: "Perhaps.....they're up your butt." I'm not sure I've laughed more at a line at this show, which shows you my mental age of 4. 4 Link to comment
Lugal January 19, 2015 Share January 19, 2015 Isabella "You should be with someone small and cute and ethnically hard to pin down." Galavant, on discovering the doors were unlocked "Did none of you check?" The Jester on Madelena "Not a fan." 6 Link to comment
Bort January 19, 2015 Share January 19, 2015 Madalena: Why do I bother talking to poor people? Madalena: You're not cousins are you? … It doesn't matter. You guys couldn't look anymore weird. (in song) Chef: We'll have a dozen kids! Gwen: And maybe one will live! (this line is made funnier with the sight gag of eleven empty bassinets) 2 Link to comment
Rick Kitchen January 19, 2015 Share January 19, 2015 Isabella "You should be with someone small and cute and ethnically hard to pin down." That may have been the line of the entire series. Although I did love when Sid told her, "You do know you're talking, right?" 2 Link to comment
CrazyDog January 19, 2015 Share January 19, 2015 So many good lines tonight! "For realsies." In any other context I hate that word, but it cracked me up. I love King Dickie. 1 Link to comment
allonsyalice January 19, 2015 Share January 19, 2015 Isabella, after Galavant learned of her betrayal, "I tried to tell you--so many songs, so many asides." 3 Link to comment
ElectricBoogaloo January 19, 2015 Share January 19, 2015 King Richard: [Galavant] will be here tonight as the sun has cast its last shadow upon the earth and the crescent moon is risen above the eastern ridge. Gareth: So, like, nine o'clock? Madalena: Attention, donkey turds! Where is that pox ridden sack of deformities known as my handmaiden? Chef: We could do a picnic, something super cas. Gwen: For the hundredth time, no. Chef: Your mouth is saying no but I can see your rotting teeth through that smile. Chef: As soon as the croaks of the frogs usher in the ravens' last call. Madalena: So, like, nine o'clock? Isabella: When the barking of the hounds wakens the fairies in the evening so that they may begin their nocturnal dance. Monk: So, like, nine o'clock? Sid: Man, this robe is really itching my junk! Oh, you left your clothes on underneath. Gal: We were going to live in a cottage by the sea. We were going to make love, plant a garden, have children. I was going to sing songs of your beauty. Madalena: Oh, Gal. That sounds awful. Look around. I live in a castle. And you know what I've learned about myself? I really like stuff. Why would I give all this up to get fat and pregnant and grow my own food? 3 Link to comment
SmithW6079 January 19, 2015 Share January 19, 2015 (edited) I loved the running "so, like 9 o'clock?" gag. Edited January 19, 2015 by SmithW6079 5 Link to comment
SmithW6079 January 20, 2015 Share January 20, 2015 (edited) There were so many great quotes this week, and Chef had a number of them. Loved this exchange between Madelena and Chef: Madelena: You're close with the king, aren't you? Chef: I wouldn't call us close, but we hang, yeah. I forget the exact wording, but between King Richard and Chef: Chef: I buy herbs from Xanax. King Richard: Herbs? For cooking? Chef: That's right. Cooking. Edited January 22, 2015 by SmithW6079 3 Link to comment
Bort January 26, 2015 Share January 26, 2015 These were my faves this week: Galavant: Galavant doesn’t lose a duel.Isabella’s dad: Ohhh, third-person alert. Madalena: Stop being dumb, call this off, take the offer to be my shag-hag, Kingley’s down with it.Galavant: You know, I think I’ll pass.Madalena: Fine, come along then. [to Isabella] You should come too. Then I can watch you watch him die. Oh look at that! I just made it FUN for me again. Isabella’s mom: Up here, we want to go left.Sid: Really? Because Galavant’s map says we go right.Isabella’s mom: Well my husband and I have lived here forty years? But really, tell me more about YOUR DEAD FRIEND’S HAND-DRAWN MAP! 3 Link to comment
Rick Kitchen January 26, 2015 Share January 26, 2015 Your breath smells like the time I found my uncle's body in the well. "Bros before hos" "She never let me walk through her garden. I never pollinated her flower." "I've never walked through anyone's garden." "It's like your brain exploded all over your face." "Will all the singing kill our Nielsen ratings?" 3 Link to comment
ElectricBoogaloo January 26, 2015 Share January 26, 2015 Giles A hero doesn't cry, and you are destined to be a great hero, young Galavant. Galavant: But they hurt my feelings. Giles: A hero doesn't have feelings. Talking, feelings, all that stuff and nonsense just clouds the mind. Isabella's father: Your cousin will save us and then you will marry him as planned. Isabella: I don't want to marry my cousin. I mean, the age difference is so weird. Plus he's my cousin. Isabella's mother: Straight up, Isabella. Our family tree goes straight up. No branches. Madalena: I'm here to catch up my brother in law/future husband. Richard: You know I can hear you, right? Galavant: But you were married! You didn't insist? Richard: I'm not an animal! I mean, sure, I'll kidnap a woman and force her to marry me but after that I'm all about a woman's rights. I'm a modern 13th century man. Gareth: You're self-centered, self-absorbed, and you wear too much velvet. Gareth: He can't sleep at night if he ain't got a second pillow to hug. Dairy makes him gassy. And if he gets cross, give him some salty snacks. It's good for his electrolytes. 7 Link to comment
Trini January 28, 2015 Share January 28, 2015 Galavant: "I'm sorry we didn't speak earlier. Speaking to you is one of my favorite things to do. Perhaps my favorite conversation ever was our four-hour analysis of what Sid's 'thank you' meant." Sid: "I meant thank you!" Isabella: "You're passive-agressive." 6 Link to comment
Trini January 4, 2016 Share January 4, 2016 Richard: "Uncle Keith! Dad said you went to the Enchanted Forest and never came out." Uncle Keith: "The other way around, kid." Uncle Keith: "My destiny is here.... Destiny, this is Richard..." Chef: "One daughter -- then we leave the rest to the white walkers." 8 Link to comment
ElectricBoogaloo January 4, 2016 Share January 4, 2016 Richard: Is there a name for when you throw up through your nose? Galavant: Oh, please, try and keep it together. We're almost there. And it's called snarfing. Court herald: Hear ye, hear ye, presenting the queen and the guy that was with the queen when she killed the other guy who was crowned the king. Sid: Awww, Gareth, are you asking me to teach you to read? Gareth: No, reading's for morons who can't understand pictures. Jester: This is easiest gig I've ever had. It's all fart noises and poop jokes with this kid. I haven't had to write new material for months. Richard: I was breastfed until I was nine. Richard: Can you get cancer from walking? Because I really feel like my feet are getting cancerous. Sid: You have a nine o'clock review of the troops followed by a noon burning of poets then the leeches and bleeding at five. Chef: Isabella's amulet, chef speaking. Gareth: I like meat with extra meat. Gareth: Beer beer beer beer beer beer beer. 6 Link to comment
FlyingEgret January 4, 2016 Share January 4, 2016 Richard (carrying Galavant): Work the core, work the core 5 Link to comment
mtlchick January 4, 2016 Share January 4, 2016 Izzy's mom re Galavant: "I will keep him forever in my spank bank." 3 Link to comment
Bort January 4, 2016 Share January 4, 2016 Madalena: I like getting randy with whoever's handy. 2 Link to comment
bosawks January 11, 2016 Share January 11, 2016 So, what are we roasting? Wild boar, stag, heretics? 1 Link to comment
SmithW6079 January 11, 2016 Share January 11, 2016 "And especially you, friars, for letting us use your club." 4 Link to comment
ElectricBoogaloo January 11, 2016 Share January 11, 2016 Richard: This is where I kept my formal crowns, my casual crowns, my just for fun crowns. Richard: Greetings, lowly ones! Sid: Do you think that maybe you're feeling, I don't know, a little guilty? Gareth: What's guilty? Sid: When you feel bad about what you've done. Gareth: That's not a thing! Wormwood: From now on, we'll call it the wedding plan, the evil plot, and the cover scheme. Got it? Isabella: I'm practicing writing my married name. Vincenzo: Isn't it exactly the same as your current name? Isabella: Yeah. Vincenzo: What are you doing in [the kitchen drawer]? You have a bed to sleep in now. Gwendolyn: Like I'm going to sleep in the thing people use to give birth and die in, sometimes simultaneously. Richard: By the way, I know what you were up to last night. Galavant: Yeah, I guess it was pretty obvious. Because I sang it out loud. 5 Link to comment
ElectricBoogaloo January 18, 2016 Share January 18, 2016 Richard: His name is Tad Cooper! Galavant: These aren't dwarves. Dwarf #1: We are too. Very tall dwarves. Giant #1: Look at their hideous little bodies. Galavant: You are the same height. You could literally be brothers. Richard: Spoken like a true giant. A giant jerkface, that is. Bobbi: Do you really want to die in a battle this ludicrous? Wormwood's Evil To Do List: I. Buy green poison on sale II. Mind control tiara on Princess Isabella III. Snub Alan Menken Re: Emmy IV. Take over kingdom - PENDING V. Something with spiders VI. Identify the One True King to Unite Them All VII. Kill Jon Snow? VIII. Get cool, evil haircut IX. Ask Wanda for ETA on centerpieces X. Rely heavily on Nielsen ratings Wormwood's Wedding To Do List: I. Invitations II. Isabella pumpkin dress III. NO CHILDREN except the groom IV. Order gluten free grog V. Sit knights at round tables, NOT square tables VI. Princess Jubilee RSVP - PENDING VII. More red flowers RE: color palette VIII. ATTRACTIVE waitstaff this time, Barry IX. Teach Harry how to read his wedding vows X. Groomsmen's gifts/engrave XI. Hire a painter who can really get those action shots Sid: I'm desperate to find [isabella] and her true love Galavant. Wormwood: What are you talking about? Galavant told her he wished she would die - in a fart, if I remember correctly. Sid: Galavant never makes fart jokes! Galavant: That's the day I won the MVK at the St. Julian' Day massacre! Galavant: You've been following my adventures this whole time. Why didn't you say anything? Arnold: You know us old school knights - we can really only express ourselves through tapestry. Madalena: It's a crystal nut bowl. Gareth: Nah, it'll never fit. 9 Link to comment
Morrigan2575 January 18, 2016 Share January 18, 2016 I totally missed Wormwood's Evil Plot list. That's awesome. 3 Link to comment
Babalu January 19, 2016 Share January 19, 2016 Thank you SO much for transcribing the Wedding Plan and the Evil Plan lists, Electric Boogaloo! I only caught a few of them, and they're hilarious, though I must say Wormwood isn't my favorite villain. 1 Link to comment
jhlipton January 21, 2016 Share January 21, 2016 III. Snub Alan Menken Re: Emmy V. Something with spiders VI. Identify the One True King to Unite Them All VII. Kill Jon Snow? X. Rely heavily on Nielsen ratings Menken definitely should have won an Emmy for his songs. "Why did it have to be spiders???" Wormwood knows about the sword! No-one thinks Jon Snow is dead! We can hope! Galavant: That's the day I won the MVK at the St. Julian' Day massacre! I kind of wished they hadn't spelled it out, and let the viewers figure out that it was Most Valuable Knight (not that it would be hard!). 2 Link to comment
Trini January 25, 2016 Share January 25, 2016 Roberta: "Couldn't wait 30 more seconds to come back, huh?" Link to comment
ElectricBoogaloo January 25, 2016 Share January 25, 2016 Wormwood: Ha, Valencians! Hortensians! Gareth: There's sparkly fizz in my nethers. Sid: Could he be mostly dead but not all dead cause mostly dead is slightly alive? Neo of Sporin: Yeah, that's not a thing. Bobbi: Where could we possibly find a bearded middle aged man who hasn't been touched by a woman? Spain? Madalena: Prophecies are never wrong. That's just science. 3 Link to comment
Lugal January 25, 2016 Share January 25, 2016 Isabella's Father: I suck at war. That's why Richard conquered us. 3 Link to comment
Bruinsfan January 25, 2016 Share January 25, 2016 Bobbi: Where could we possibly find a bearded middle aged man who hasn't been touched by a woman? Spain? Had Richard been unwilling, I'd imagine a few of the bar patrons at the Enchanted Forest could have provided. Link to comment
legaleagle53 January 25, 2016 Share January 25, 2016 Had Richard been unwilling, I'd imagine a few of the bar patrons at the Enchanted Forest could have provided. Doubtful, as "man who hasn't been touched by a woman" was simply a long way of saying "virgin." Just because the men in the Enchanted Forest had likely never had sex with a woman doesn't mean that they were automatically virgins. Gay men still have sex, just not with women. 1 Link to comment
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