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SilverStormm

Alyssa and John: Lunch with Lurch

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I feel like I should be shouting NIKE! at all that thigh (I mean, completely normal for normal humans but never seen before on a Bates or Duggar).

Actually I want to know where she got it because while the print isn't really my jam, I'd love to have a high-necked style like that.

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Thanks so much, RebeccatheWriter. I appreciate the photo.

If the suit wasn't so 'high neck chokey' and a bit more scooped, I'd like better. Pretty suit, though. Would I wear it? At my age, 61, yes I would. Just a bit too 'high neck' for me. Glad Alyssa is stepping out a bit in to the real world and not looking silly in this day and age like some of her family.

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11 hours ago, 3 is enough said:

It's from Lands' End.  It is called " Keyhole High Neck Modest Tankini Top".  The bottoms are called "Sporty Swim Mini".

Thank you! Found it on their website.

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Alyssa strikes me as the type who doesn't care that she's a tad overdressed on her birthday. I like that they seem to have a balance between maintaining their relationship and being parents. Not a big fan of the Bates, but their kids seem to have relatively healthy adult relationships.

I expect a vow renewal from Alyssa and John by their 10th year since her wedding doesn't seem to match the glitz and glam she loves now. 

On 11/14/2019 at 5:40 AM, floridamom said:

Sadly, Michaela is usually frumpy and wears those awful sneakers with dresses. She could be so cute, stylish and still modest but she doesn't have the know-how IMO....nor does she OR Brandon care. 

Oh, gosh...I can't stand Michael's style. Every time she posts a picture of her attending a wedding as a guest, she stands out as underdressed. She's beautiful, but her sense of style is just unflattering. 

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1 hour ago, trimthatfat said:

 

Oh, gosh...I can't stand Michael's style. Every time she posts a picture of her attending a wedding as a guest, she stands out as underdressed. She's beautiful, but her sense of style is just unflattering. 

I agree. I remember seeing pictures of a Keilen sibling's wedding a few years back. All the women were in appropriately formal attire and Michael was wearing her standard maxi dress with modesty tee. She's a pretty woman, but so, so frumpy. 

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On 9/9/2019 at 11:23 AM, BitterApple said:

My friend is an office manager for a plastic surgeon and they don't allow children in the office at all. Their rationale is the doctor wants his patients' undivided attention and the reception staff is not there to serve as babysitters. 

one of my DRs outlawed children too  and as a patient, who had flu symptoms I was grateful.

with my luck - one of my offspring would tell all of my business at the wrong time to the wrong person - so they got left behind.... all it takes is one innocent adult sole to ask " what did you and mommy do today"... Out would have came a 5- 7yr version of words/procedure/gesture, that didn't need to be repeated.

Edited by sATL
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On 12/29/2019 at 9:00 PM, BitterApple said:

I agree. I remember seeing pictures of a Keilen sibling's wedding a few years back. All the women were in appropriately formal attire and Michael was wearing her standard maxi dress with modesty tee. She's a pretty woman, but so, so frumpy

going out on a limb here... maybe.. just maybe... "frump" is what turns Brandon on... We do know this crowd lives to please their husbands - hence blond Jinger..

I mean surely in all 3-4 years of marriage, where the #1 hobby is baby making, he's said, "honey you sure look pretty today" , " that dress really looks good on you...", " that color really brings out your eyes.."... something to that effect..

Edited by sATL
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On her most recent IG post, Alyssa has declared her second heart surgery a *success." I guess she'll be announcing a pregnancy in a couple months. 😒

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I was eye-rolling John's rationale for why they didn't send Allie to pre-school. He really thinks Alyssa is adequately prepared to educate their daughters? The same woman whose Instagram posts are riddled with spelling and grammatical errors? Good luck with that one....

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1 hour ago, BitterApple said:

I was eye-rolling John's rationale for why they didn't send Allie to pre-school. He really thinks Alyssa is adequately prepared to educate their daughters? The same woman whose Instagram posts are riddled with spelling and grammatical errors? Good luck with that one....

Well, they are "only" girls.  What more do they need?

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1 hour ago, BitterApple said:

I was eye-rolling John's rationale for why they didn't send Allie to pre-school. He really thinks Alyssa is adequately prepared to educate their daughters? The same woman whose Instagram posts are riddled with spelling and grammatical errors? Good luck with that one....

He did back up and acknowledge that there are good public schools, but not after the whole "no one else knows my kid like we do" defense.

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4 minutes ago, Sew Sumi said:

He did back up and acknowledge that there are good public schools, but not after the whole "no one else knows my kid like we do" defense.

He did, yes, but I would've had more respect for him if he'd just admitted he didn't want his kids exposed to anyone who isn't a Conservative Christian. 

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On 2/13/2020 at 6:38 AM, IndianPaintbrush said:

In their recent YouTube Q&A video, Alyssa & John addressed the question of having more kids. Alyssa says she'd love more, but it sounds like John would be fine with three. In any case, they are realistic about needing to wait longer due to her health, so that's good.

Wait... Alyssa said she'd love more. The women seems to hate noise and fuss, what does she think adding to her family is going to do? Make things quieter. I guess she wants another baby, but wait five minutes and you'll have a new niece or nephew to hold. It's refreshing to know their taking her health seriously. John's parents have only 6 kids so they may not be quiverfull and none of his siblings have big families yet. If she had married a guy who was as quiverfull as her parents, he may not have been willing to slow down. 

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I watched that painful Q & A with Alyssa and John this morning when I had the time to let it play out. I am sick and tired of these people, Duggars included, who laugh, joke and give silly answers before MAYBE actually answering the question. If you're going to have a Q & A, please be serious about it and honestly and answer the questions completely. Why didn't Alyssa and John say that their belief system does not allow for their children to attend school, even a Christian one due to exposure to different beliefs and lifestyles? This would have been an honest response to the question. 'Well, I started to teach Allie when she was little, so I thought I'd continue myself" is really not an honest answer. It is a partial one. I, too, was a stay at home mother and also taught my first born his numbers, letters, shapes and colors. He knew them before I sent him to a part time 3 days a week preschool. The other children in his class knew those things too. So, Alyssa's answer doesn't hold water with me.  John, the pants question obviously was NOT ONE FOR YOU. Quit wasting time by joking.

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In that video, glad to see that they are taking Alyssa's health seriously and aren't looking to get pregnant right now until that's sorted out, are talking to drs. etc. (So I guess condoms for John?? Shocking.) But overall the impression that I got was Alyssa is more desperate to have more kids than John is. She mentioned more than once re having a boy (when they got the baby names question) and how she wants a John Elliott Jr. and John was the one who directly said -- I don't need a Jr. You'd think it'd be the man who'd be more about MY SON, though I guess with their world view being -- women are put on this earth to bear kids -- Alyssa is more holding herself "responsible" for giving John a son. IDK if they even truly understand or believe that John's DNA determines son or daughter and Alyssa has nothing to do with it.

Some of it may also be pragmatic on John's part. He's one of 6, so he probably thinks 3 kids is normal. On top of that, while they keep a nice home, they are stacked on top of each other in that home with 3 kids; it's a small 3 bedroom ranch (they did a house tour recently) and while the kids are ok with (small) bedrooms so far, the rest of the house is tiny with basically one common area with the kids playing in the tiny family room where undoubtedly John probably likes some peace and quiet to watch a football game once in a while. As the breadwinner, he may be thinking that it's easier not to have the financial stress of kid #4 or 5 or 10. 

My bet is though they will at least have 1 and likely 2 more. Alyssa's surgery was successful so I don't think any cardiologist will say NO to more kids, though I think they may caution them about the cardiac stresses of pregnancy -- i.e. you already have 3 and personally I don't think you should roll that dice again but there's no reason that I can medically say you absolutely cannot not. Once this cardiac event is further behind them, I can see Alyssa getting back to -- well there's no reason not to, drs. don't know how strong my side of the family is re child bearing etc. I just think she can't NOT try for a son, and she is only 25 so she has years to go still. And then when they have kid #4 -- esp if it's a few years from now -- it'll be, oh I want this kid to have playmates, the three girls are SO old now at the ripe old age of 5 . . . so then it'll be 1-2 more. That and Alyssa strikes me as a determined woman. She has always said 6 kids, while John has said -- I want as many as you want; this has come up in many of those Q&A specials they do. So I can see her eventually saying, I'm FINE, I wanted 6, let's go . . . and John going along.

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2 hours ago, cereality said:

In that video, glad to see that they are taking Alyssa's health seriously and aren't looking to get pregnant right now until that's sorted out, are talking to drs. etc. (So I guess condoms for John?? Shocking.) But overall the impression that I got was Alyssa is more desperate to have more kids than John is. She mentioned more than once re having a boy (when they got the baby names question) and how she wants a John Elliott Jr. and John was the one who directly said -- I don't need a Jr. You'd think it'd be the man who'd be more about MY SON, though I guess with their world view being -- women are put on this earth to bear kids -- Alyssa is more holding herself "responsible" for giving John a son. IDK if they even truly understand or believe that John's DNA determines son or daughter and Alyssa has nothing to do with it.

Some of it may also be pragmatic on John's part. He's one of 6, so he probably thinks 3 kids is normal. On top of that, while they keep a nice home, they are stacked on top of each other in that home with 3 kids; it's a small 3 bedroom ranch (they did a house tour recently) and while the kids are ok with (small) bedrooms so far, the rest of the house is tiny with basically one common area with the kids playing in the tiny family room where undoubtedly John probably likes some peace and quiet to watch a football game once in a while. As the breadwinner, he may be thinking that it's easier not to have the financial stress of kid #4 or 5 or 10. 

My bet is though they will at least have 1 and likely 2 more. Alyssa's surgery was successful so I don't think any cardiologist will say NO to more kids, though I think they may caution them about the cardiac stresses of pregnancy -- i.e. you already have 3 and personally I don't think you should roll that dice again but there's no reason that I can medically say you absolutely cannot not. Once this cardiac event is further behind them, I can see Alyssa getting back to -- well there's no reason not to, drs. don't know how strong my side of the family is re child bearing etc. I just think she can't NOT try for a son, and she is only 25 so she has years to go still. And then when they have kid #4 -- esp if it's a few years from now -- it'll be, oh I want this kid to have playmates, the three girls are SO old now at the ripe old age of 5 . . . so then it'll be 1-2 more. That and Alyssa strikes me as a determined woman. She has always said 6 kids, while John has said -- I want as many as you want; this has come up in many of those Q&A specials they do. So I can see her eventually saying, I'm FINE, I wanted 6, let's go . . . and John going along.

Well Six  kids would be a still be quite break from 19. Let's hope she has two boys sooner than later and John gets a vasectomy. Kelly is probably telling Alyssa she needs a boy. That sounds like Kelly who is awful in that sense. 

I don't think it matters who's DNA determines the sex of the baby. The woman carries the babies in her body. By give him a son, she means she wants to gestate the boy and give birth to him. 

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How Alyssa homeschools. What are your thoughts on Abeka? I know the fundies love it, but is it any good for kids who are going to public school someday?

 

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7 hours ago, Sew Sumi said:

How Alyssa homeschools. What are your thoughts on Abeka? I know the fundies love it, but is it any good for kids who are going to public school someday?

 

I can't watch the video right now but I can answer the Abeka question. I use it for most subjects with my four kids, and used it myself at Christian school (I always feel the need to clarify, a sane, non-fundie school) in the 80s and 90s. And to prove my sanity and non-fundieness, my kids also go to the local public school a couple hours a week for classes like gym and art. So since they're assigned to classes, I get those teachers' emails about what they're doing in their class, and it's right along with what we're doing in our curriculum. I have a teaching degree (from an accredited, non-religious college, lol) so I don't really need these but they also provide teacher curriculum books that show and explain how to teach everything, so moms who have less or no experience teaching, can still use it. The biggest thing for Abeka is that it's a pretty traditional curriculum, more workbook than hands-on (which works for us but isn't for everyone), and it doesn't use the newer trendy methods of teaching math and reading (those "common core math" [which is a misnomer] posts that you'll see about the ways they teach math now). I also feel like the history can trend a little too #MURICA, if you get my drift. But I've been able to add some balance to that when we talk about it. Otherwise, it teaches all the subjects well, is pretty rigorous in the upper grades from what I hear (my oldest is 5th grade), and there are many people in the Facebook group of people who use it that I'm in, who talk about their kids doing fine in public school and higher education. At the risk of bring braggadocious, when we moved the summer before my 5th grade year and I went from Christian school to public, I could have skipped a grade because the curriculum was that far ahead of where public was. I think with the increased rigor of public school (kindergarten now being what we all knew as first grade), it's kind of evened out a bit.

Tldr: I've used it as a student and teacher, I have an education degree from am accredited non-religious college, it is a real curriculum, not wisdom booklets, and if Alyssa is really using it, her kids will learn things.

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OK, I watched the video (I decided to be kind to my husband and the kid who had a bad dream and apparently thought it required her to be in our bed 🙄🙄, both of whom were still sleeping when I first saw that post) and have three additions to my previous comments:

1) I forgot about the DVD program that Abeka offers (since we don't use it, I often forget it exists...), and it's about what she described. They offer an accredited and unaccredited version, and states that have stricter rules for home schooling will accept their accredited version. I don't know much (really, anything) about those states' regulations but I have always assumed that those states have some sort of standards that any curriculum has to live up to, that they wouldn't just accept any random "Joe Schmoe's Edukashun Program". So if Alyssa has any major gaps in her own education (I mean, let's be real, I went to public school and have a bachelor's degree and teaching my kids has made me realize how many gaps my own education had), using the DVDs will help her ensure that her kids are learning.

2) Abeka does love their cursive. I use manuscript (print) for K5 (what they call your basic 5 year old kindergarten) and 1st grade, and start teaching cursive in grade 2.

3) Whatever those videos Alyssa is using with the littles are, it's not Abeka. Or really should be considered home schooling. It's just your basic educational videos, we have a stack of the Leapfrog brand ones, if my littles want to watch something while the bigs are doing school, that is an option.

In conclusion, I always felt like the Duggars and Bateses gave a really poor presentation of home schooling, especially since it wasn't quite as mainstream at that time when their shows were first starting and all the kids were still living at home. It's pretty common in my circles and nobody even blinks now when we mention that we home school, but in the early 2000s when the Duggars were showing off their wisdom booklets, this was not the case. So I'm glad that at least one of their ilk in the current generation, is using a real curriculum.

Tldr again: Yeah, sorry, I talk too much. This is one topic that I have a lot of knowledge in. I'll shut up now.

Edited by JessDVD
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Abeka was the curriculum when I went to a Christian school from Kindergarten to seventh grade. I didn't realize it was that old. I always did well academically. I went to public school in eighth grade and was first in the class. Fourth in the class in my public senior year. When I first heard of homeschooling, I was dubious, but I have a cousin who's a college professor who was homeschooled. 

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Here's an example of the first grade bible class. Nice spiral perm on the teacher. These have to have been made in the 90's.

 

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1st grade was updated maybe 3 or so years ago. But the people who teach at the school, based on the pictures I see in that Facebook group of kids who use the DVDs and then go to the school to meet the teachers, mostly seem to have missed the memo that the millennium happened. I roll my eyes a lot at the people in that group. The curriculum is, unsurprisingly, pretty didactic in some areas. But imo the beauty of home school is being able to take what you want and ignore what you don't. So, I use their methods of teaching reading, grammar, and math that work well for me and my kids and leave the spiral perms and excessive preachiness at the door of someone else's house.

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Alyssa is better at the YouTube game than Jessa Duggar, but she still has a long way to go. She never even showed the finished product, and had to refer to her recipe card every two seconds for measurements. You could also see her visible annoyance when Allie tried to get involved, which doesn't inspire a Mommy and Me vibe. 

Edited by BitterApple
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Alyssa's youngest turned two years old a couple weeks ago. I'm happy for Alyssa that she has yet to announce another pregnancy, especially with her heart problems. 

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The heart meds can cause anything ranging from birth defects to fetal demise, so I am sure they were preventing during her ordeal. That seems to be behind her, though. I expect an announcement soon. 

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24 minutes ago, Sew Sumi said:

The heart meds can cause anything ranging from birth defects to fetal demise, so I am sure they were preventing during her ordeal. That seems to be behind her, though. I expect an announcement soon. 

Maybe she and John are happy to have 3 healthy girls and see no need to continue the baby train. Unless she wants to tie herself down to babies for the next how many years she might just want to enjoy the life that they have now. 

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I hope your right too. But if she hadn't fallen ill she would have had number four. She's said stuff in the past about numbers and stuff but then had three kids in quick succession. I really don't think she's going to stop. But I'd love to be wrong.

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In one of their recent YouTube videos (this year), they were asked about more kids and directly said they were sorting out Alyssa's health. But then Alyssa was the one who said they need a John Jr., and oddly John said "I don't need a jr." Seems like John could be convinced that 3 is enough and it's ok to have 3 girls and be done, whereas Alyssa is more about "giving John a boy." Could be that John is scared for her health but could also be that as the sole breadwinner in that tiny 3 bedroom home where they are kind of already on top of each other, he's thinking of the practical considerations of having more kids. And let's be real if they have another and it's not a boy, I see Alyssa wanting a fifth; or if it is a boy, I can see her being all --oh but he needs a brother, we need a fifth or sixth to get that done. And let's be real, she's stubborn. Over the years in those hokey "how well do you know your spouse games" they play, she's always said she wants/expects 6 kids. I can see her being like -- nope what do these drs. know, I can go for 6.

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I forgot that Alyssa made mention of John Jr. in a fairly recent video (the Q&A I think). 

In other news, Lexi starts preschool.

 

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I'm guessing changing the ceiling and floor made a difference to them living there, but I'd have gotten rid of the heavy gray walls.

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Did anyone else laugh at the beginning when their name came up and under it listed beauty first. Then food, family and life. #priorities. Beauty first. Family is in third. 

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The yucky stained carpet is gone!  It looks nice but I noticed that the box spring is not covered.  You can see the brown.  I know not everyone likes bed skirts but she could have covered the box spring with a white sheet. 

To be fair, they may have had a tight budget.  And maybe they liked the wall colour.   I would have changed the sink but maybe it was too pricey or plumbing is not his strong suit, although HVAC work usually involves some plumbing skill. 
As long as they are happy with it that’s all that matters.

Edited by 3 is enough
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I never understood the need for the Sunday photos even before the quarantine.  

I guess she just wanted to show off the clothes.  But yes, no matching outfits today.  Maybe her "friend" can't do it anymore.

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On 4/24/2020 at 8:28 PM, 3 is enough said:

The yucky stained carpet is gone!  

Yes! The terrible carpet is gone. That flooring made the room look 100% better. I think she also got rid of the tacky wall decal near their bed. In general, the remodel made the room look much cleaner and neater. I think Alyssa is a little bit of a hoarder... 

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Crack this case! I know this Erin’s birthday post but who is this Tikky lady?? She’s the one that sends Alyssa all the matching church dresses every Sunday. Is she a fellow fundie or leg humper. It looks her child might be pictured here. 

18C2E226-B8E8-4D31-9711-EC094B5E0573.jpeg

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Alyssa describes Tikky as a "sweet friend," however who knows if that's really the case or whether she says that to keep the free swag rolling in.

 

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11 hours ago, BitterApple said:

Alyssa describes Tikky as a "sweet friend," however who knows if that's really the case or whether she says that to keep the free swag rolling in.

 

Alyssa's an idiot. Anyone with any sense would be concerned at someone who's really not a friend or relative who keeps clothes for their kids. That's too weird and creepy.

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