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Alyssa and John: Lunch with Lurch

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Q&A video with Alyssa and John.

Interesting facts:

-They did kiss before marriage

-Both of them considered breaking things off at some point (they don't say why)

-Right now Alyssa is closest to Katie, Carlin, Addallee and Ellie.

-Alyssa says the biggest misconception about her is that she's a snob.

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3 minutes ago, emmawoodhouse said:

Sorry, I think she's a snob. 

Lulz, I do too, with Whitney running a close second.

Edited by BitterApple
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How is she a snob? I didn't think that about her.

Of course there are lot of other negative assumptions I could throw in there. 

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I ran through the video stopping at the questions looking for the kissing one. Where in this video did they say they kissed before marriage? Why did the show hide that fact? I thought all of the Bates girls were not allowed to be alone, etc before marrying? 

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It was the very last question that they addressed. They said yes they did.They said that they had over 50 questions about this. I really don't know why people are so interested in this.  

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I don't think Gil and Kelly are nearly as strict about courtship "rules" as people think. I've always been under the impression they allow couples to make their own rules (within limits of course). Zach & Whitney admitted they kissed before marriage too. 

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There’s content for the show and then there is real life. Which we don’t really see. 

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5 hours ago, IndianPaintbrush said:

I don't think Gil and Kelly are nearly as strict about courtship "rules" as people think. I've always been under the impression they allow couples to make their own rules (within limits of course). Zach & Whitney admitted they kissed before marriage too. 

Apparently, according to John and Alyssa, they kissed (loads- Alyssa) and Gil did confront/ask them about it. They confessed and had to confess it to their wedding party too. 

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I don't get it. Gil & Kelly say how important and expected it is for their children to remain 'pure' before marriage...  their definition meaning not even kissing before the ceremony. Then, their courting children seem to have broken the 'rules' which the parents say is up to the kids.. So, if it IS up to the kids, what is there to confess? Don't Gil and Kelly think their ridiculous rules are unnecessary at this point? I can see no sex before marriage, however. They need to fess up and declare what is fake about their show and how they come across.

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Did Zach and Whitney confess to kissing on the show? If not, their fanbase may still be in the dark. And they wouldn't know about J/A unless they watched that video to the end (and it was looong).

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8 minutes ago, RebeccatheWriter said:

Apparently, according to John and Alyssa, they kissed (loads- Alyssa) and Gil did confront/ask them about it. They confessed and had to confess it to their wedding party too. 

I don't get why they would have to confess it to their wedding party. Omg. They shouldn't have to confess to anyone. Such screwed up beliefs and rules. 

What's their thoughts about it? Something about 'giving your heart away' and protecting your heart, or some nonsense like that. Well what about falling in love? Isn't that giving your heart away? So, if you're already in love, what's the harm with kissing? 

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1 hour ago, Spazamanaz said:

I don't get why they would have to confess it to their wedding party. Omg. They shouldn't have to confess to anyone. Such screwed up beliefs and rules. 

What's their thoughts about it? Something about 'giving your heart away' and protecting your heart, or some nonsense like that. Well what about falling in love? Isn't that giving your heart away? So, if you're already in love, what's the harm with kissing? 

I have family that belong to the church the Bateseseses used to attend. One of my cousins had sex before marriage and got pregnant. They had to stand before the church (don't know if it was the VIPs or the whole church and ask forgiveness for it. I remember then thinking this was screwed up.

Alyssa and John didn't seem as worried or concerned about it as Zach and Whitney seemed.  

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2 hours ago, RebeccatheWriter said:

I have family that belong to the church the Bateseseses used to attend. One of my cousins had sex before marriage and got pregnant. They had to stand before the church (don't know if it was the VIPs or the whole church and ask forgiveness for it. I remember then thinking this was screwed up.

Alyssa and John didn't seem as worried or concerned about it as Zach and Whitney seemed.  

OMG that is so messed up. 
I am pretty sure Gil and Kelly kissed before THEY got married. By all accounts they had a normal college experience.  Maybe they didn’t drink, but that is not uncommon among Baptists. They have no business asking the kids to refrain from kissing.  

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Consenting adults should be able to do anything they want. 

Gil and Kelly should not be taking be their children's choices. Why did someone give them a television show to normalize this shit?

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1 hour ago, Temperance said:

Consenting adults should be able to do anything they want. 

Gil and Kelly should not be taking be their children's choices. Why did someone give them a television show to normalize this shit?

Yes, they should and Gil and Kelly should stay out of it. I'd love to see one if not all of their kids tell them that.

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20 hours ago, RebeccatheWriter said:

Apparently, according to John and Alyssa, they kissed (loads- Alyssa) and Gil did confront/ask them about it. They confessed and had to confess it to their wedding party too. 

When did they say this? They didn't say it on their Youtube video.  They didn't  seem at all concerned about what people thought. Neither did Josie and Kelton. Confessing to a kiss before the wedding to the wedding party is probably one of the most absurd things that I have head about these people. I'm trying to figure out what business is it of the wedding party and why would they care? 

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17 hours ago, RebeccatheWriter said:

I have family that belong to the church the Bateseseses used to attend. One of my cousins had sex before marriage and got pregnant. They had to stand before the church (don't know if it was the VIPs or the whole church and ask forgiveness for it. I remember then thinking this was screwed up.

Alyssa and John didn't seem as worried or concerned about it as Zach and Whitney seemed.  

Geez this sounds like The Scarlet Letter. But Hawthorne was writing about the 17th.  century colonists.  Doesn't sound like this church has changed much. Cruelty in the name of religion.

 

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FWIW -- I did NOT hear this as them saying we HAD to confess to Gil/Kelly and apologize, the way Zach and Whit said it. I heard them saying -- we kissed a LOT and were bad at it. Alyssa ended up telling her dad and John told his parents and we told our bridal party. It did NOT sound like they HAD to tell. More like it came up when Gil likely said to Alyssa "you haven't been kissing right" -- and she prob was like well yes. And for the bridal party, who knows -- maybe it was along the lines of don't worry about our first kiss, we've got practice haha.

Honestly I am guessing the only ones of the couples who DIDN'T kiss pre marriage were Brandon and Michaela -- bc I think she really is fundie at her core and shy too and Brandon is pretty fundie and I believe was in seminary then so he was probably way invested in "the rules" and "purity" etc. And likely Chad/Erin bc she was the first one to court, so I'm guessing they got like NO time without siblings in their face; she probably was very focused on having the perfect fundie relationship by the rules; and he is from a very fundie family too.

We know Zach/Whit, John/Alyssa, and Josie/Kelton kissed. Carlin/Evan -- she knew as a bridal party member that Alyssa was kissing so she wasn't going to NOT do it plus she kind of has had "normal" relationships and done what she wants -- has an ex boyfriend; decided she was going to dance with her man at their wedding and convinced G&K that it was classy. Same with Bobby/Tori, once she knew Alyssa was kissing, you know she was like yeah don't have to follow that dumb rule. Plus Bobby likely knew from Kelton that he had kissed during his relationship so that Bates rule was NBD. And Bobby and Evan are both fundie lite/closer to regular Christian so you know they weren't as invested in "courting" etc. having not been raised in families where that's a thing.

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3 hours ago, cereality said:

FWIW -- I did NOT hear this as them saying we HAD to confess to Gil/Kelly and apologize, the way Zach and Whit said it. I heard them saying -- we kissed a LOT and were bad at it. Alyssa ended up telling her dad and John told his parents and we told our bridal party. It did NOT sound like they HAD to tell. More like it came up when Gil likely said to Alyssa "you haven't been kissing right" -- and she prob was like well yes. And for the bridal party, who knows -- maybe it was along the lines of don't worry about our first kiss, we've got practice haha.

Exactly. She said they TOLD their bridal party. Nothing was said about confessing.  I can picture the bridal party teasing John and Alyssa about being able to witless their first kiss and J & A were , "well, you missed out there."  Repeat. Nothing was said about confessing. It's one thing to criticize their lifestyle but to makeup or misinterpret in order to do so is another thing. 

Erin waited. There was a video where she said it was hard but they waited. I'm pretty sure Michael waited because Brandon seems too shy to try anything before the vows were said. 

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It's about time that Gil and Kelly stay the heck out of their courting childrens' matters. No sex before is one thing, I can understand that, but KISSING and the like is none of their business. If they believe their kids are old enough and mature enough to court and that they raised them 'right', blah, blah, etc.. they should not stick their noses in the affection the couple shows one another. I think these rules are now just for the show. It's getting more and more ridiculous.

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I assume at some level G&K are pissed about how open their adult kids are being. Yet they have no control over the older married ones living in their own households. Josie/Kelton, Evan/Carlin, Alyssa/John, Whit/Zach are clearly looking to monetize their "fame" by becoming IG influencers, getting free stuff, and making some extra cash off of YouTube videos etc. And they have all realized that no one is going to watch if it's just "keeping sweet" and smiling at the headship type of videos. Yet I'm sure G&K aren't like J&A putting out there that they fought A LOT A LOT during their first year of marriage; and that during courting both were close to breaking up with each other at various times. Same with Evan/Carlin -- they have recounted in great depth that she had an ex boyfriend and then recently has said Evan wasn't her first relationship and also said she was close to breaking up with Evan during dating (he made it sound like she considered breaking it off with him but he didn't ever consider dumping her). This makes them sound like normal people with normal relationships and marriages, but damn that's not the fundie image G&K wanted to project when they got into this.

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On 4/24/2021 at 9:52 PM, 3 is enough said:

OMG that is so messed up. 
I am pretty sure Gil and Kelly kissed before THEY got married. By all accounts they had a normal college experience.  Maybe they didn’t drink, but that is not uncommon among Baptists. They have no business asking the kids to refrain from kissing.  

The had a normal courtship.  They have both admitted it.  Even down to the point that they didn't want children for a few years after marriage.

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1 hour ago, iluvobx said:

The had a normal courtship.  They have both admitted it.  Even down to the point that they didn't want children for a few years after marriage.

But Kelly got knocked up right quick, and they decided then to leave it up to God. So, they went down the rabbit hole fairly quickly.

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None of the Bates children and their intended were ready for marriage....to anyone at the time they all married. Most of them had no real life experience and they didn't have the time allowed or the opportunity to know one another. 

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I don't get the impresion that Gil and Kelly are concerned about their adult daughters albeit barely adults, kissing, hugging and holding hands pre marriage as they are about getting these girls married off to men who can support them and the children to come ASAP. Now Pa and Pa Dugger whould have had  conniption fits if their offspring posted pictures on instagram like the younger girls Josie and Carlin did during their courtships and engagements.     

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20 hours ago, 65mickey said:

I don't get the impresion that Gil and Kelly are concerned about their adult daughters albeit barely adults, kissing, hugging and holding hands pre marriage as they are about getting these girls married off to men who can support them and the children to come ASAP. Now Ma and Pa Dugger whould have had  conniption fits if their offspring posted pictures on instagram like the younger girls Josie and Carlin did during their courtships and engagements.     

 

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On 4/23/2021 at 12:27 PM, IndianPaintbrush said:

Q&A video with Alyssa and John.

Interesting facts:

-They did kiss before marriage

-Both of them considered breaking things off at some point (they don't say why)

-Right now Alyssa is closest to Katie, Carlin, Addallee and Ellie.

-Alyssa says the biggest misconception about her is that she's a snob.

If Alyssa doesn't want people to think she's a snob, she may want to reconsider the opening to her youtube videos. The girls are cute, but Alyssa in a long gown spinning in a field is a bit pretentious.

I watched the video when Katie was visiting to help with the new house. I haven't watched BUB for a couple of years but, wow, grown-up Katie is gorgeous. 

Edited by absolutelyido
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9 hours ago, absolutelyido said:

If Alyssa doesn't want people to think she's a snob, she may want to reconsider the opening to her youtube videos. The girls are cute, but Alyssa in a long gown spinning in a field is a bit pretentious.

I watched the video when Katie was visiting to help with the new house. I haven't watched BUB for a couple of years but, wow, grown-up Katie is gorgeous. 

I agree, Katie is gorgeous. All of the Bates girls are very pretty. 

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Watched a John & Alyssa video for the first time in a bit -- damn she's aged. She married at 19 and this was their 7th anniversary video, so she's around 26. I guess 4 pregnancies' + 2 heart surgeries in 7 years would age anyone but she totally looks like someone who cakes on the makeup to still appear youthful.

And their 7th anniversary was so freaking dumb and I 100% understand why they've said in the past that they have a hard time sticking to a budget and saving $$. Alyssa buys tacky crap left and right. I'm sure it's a remnant of a childhood where there was never any extra $$ to spend but damn. I mean I realize it's dollar store junk and lots of it was repurposed from Nathan's engagement last week but it was a waste of money and tacky to be setting up a table outside tying bows to chairs (and having "friends" come do it for you at 10 pm?!) and setting candles around the pool and fake lilies in the pool -- all so you could put out an appetizer dinner where you just lined the table cloth with crackers, pretzels, cheese, fruit, and deli meat -- and go ahead there's dinner!? And then of course she had to spend $$$ ordering the balloon bouquet and personalized cookies.

I love how she went on about they're not doing their typical anniversary AirBnB rental bc they just bought a house so it's not in the budget + the houses they rent are just like the one they now own so it's NBD now. Uh did you consult your husband?? Because I have never seen anyone as excited as him re last year's crappy anniversary vacation -- like he was GUSHING about having soooo many snacks and eating Cheez Its day and night and staying up late playing pool with his wife and having sex with her anytime he felt like dropping trou. Like at the end he was MISERABLE leaving to go home to 3 screaming kids and she had to cajole him into saying yeah he missed the kids. Uh I think your husband would have much preferred 1 night away even in a motel where he could have sex with no fears that a kid will wake up and come looking for mommy.

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She has to do something to make an interesting YouTube video of the week.  🤷🏼‍♀️
I would be the most boring influencer EVER.  In 40 years of marriage our anniversaries consisted of us exchanging gifts and going out to dinner.  No balloons or fancy candles or decor.  And last year for our 40th we couldn’t even go out and his gift to me was delayed.  We survived.

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Yeah and they probably can't make a YouTube video about going to a restaurant and having a nice calm dinner. Most restaurants would not allow them to film.  And filming themselves in an AirB&B  would be pretty boring. I mean how much can they say? The way they did the anniversary video they got to show their friends, the table, the pool lights  and all of the crapy decor and food and Alyssa and the girls dressing up. Stretch it out for maybe 5 minutes. They must be really reaching to come up with a YouTube video each week. 

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33 minutes ago, emmawoodhouse said:

Alyssa's "dinning" room. She finally got the spelling right! 😂

Wall art? The 10 Commandments. WTAF?

https://www.instagram.com/p/CP_gqAUF474/?utm_medium=copy_link

Is that the table they're going to be eating off of daily?! If so, big mistake. That glass is going to be a mess of fingerprints and smudges. We had a breakfast table with a glass top and I had to wipe both the top and underside constantly. It was a total pain in the ass. 

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They're going to be stuck eating cereal and chicken and rice to keep that room from being stained.  One spaghetti dinner with children and someone will spend an entire day cleaning.  

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45 minutes ago, Absolom said:

They're going to be stuck eating cereal and chicken and rice to keep that room from being stained.  One spaghetti dinner with children and someone will spend an entire day cleaning.  

FWIW 90% of the time she seems to feed those kids outdoors, where she can just hose down the table when they're down. On the rare days that they eat indoors, they're always on stools at the kitchen bar, not in the dining room. She likes to keep a pristine home -- 4 kids under age 6 and food don't mix with white upholstery. Seems like they are still buying furniture and they've said that they have to wait until things are in the budget, but their kitchen while small does have a nook off to the side. Put a kitchen table in there that's cheap and wipeable and feed your kids there and use it as the kids table for holiday meals. Then like most homes the formal dining room is for holidays when the kids are old enough not to be dropping food all over the chairs.

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White? ...with small children? That dining or "dinning" room looks more like it's out of a magazine and not intended for actual use. Why have a 'show room' yet feed your children outside in little muffin cups in the Florida heat and humidity? Hose down the picnic table? I'm sure she does just that. As an adult with very good table manners, I would be quite nervous to eat in that museum-looking white dining room. I'm sure Gil and Kelly would make themselves right at home and slop it up; look at the state of their new home now. The beautiful wood front door that Kelly swooned over looks like it has been through a war. Alyssa needs to live a real life in her house with her children...oh, and yes, John too.

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I would be more worried aobut one of my kids running into a corner of that glass table and not just getting the glass dirty. Glass can be cleaned but the corners on that table are not child friendly. Years ago I had a beautiful glass coffee table with corners like the ones on her dining table. As soon as my daughter began to walk I gave it away. 

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I’m sorry, but there is something wrong about “thou shalt not commit adultery” hanging in your dining room, even if it is written is pale artsy calligraphy.  
I don’t understand why they wouldn’t get a kitchen set first and then do the dining room.  It’s not going to get used every day anyhow.

Different priorities I guess.  

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She's probably trying to appeal to and to appease the fundies who might think she has gotten too worldly for their liking. 

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47 minutes ago, 65mickey said:

I would be more worried about one of my kids running into a corner of that glass table and not just getting the glass dirty. Glass can be cleaned but the corners on that table are not child friendly. Years ago I had a beautiful glass coffee table with corners like the ones on her dining table. As soon as my daughter began to walk I gave it away. 

She needs to buy the plastic corner covers they sell and tape them on firmly for a loooonnnggg time.

Did anyone think Alyssa had an excessive number of high heeled dress shoes? She must get a matching pair for every dress she has -- mostly to wear to church. (As shown in the scene where her young sisters were packing them in a box.)

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I also enjoy the “coffee bar” area on the kitchen end of the dining room. Or whatever that display is supposed to be. It appears Alyssa is more interested in shopping for the perfect item for her decor than what might be practical in a home with many small kids. It will be interesting to see how homeschooling goes once summer break ends. The school room is very bland and light colored too.

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3 hours ago, Dehumidifier said:

She needs to buy the plastic corner covers they sell and tape them on firmly for a loooonnnggg time.

Did anyone think Alyssa had an excessive number of high heeled dress shoes? She must get a matching pair for every dress she has -- mostly to wear to church. (As shown in the scene where her young sisters were packing them in a box.)

Is that stalker still supplying Alyssa and her girls with church dresses? If she's spending less on clothing that may explain the bigger budget for shoes.

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1 minute ago, BitterApple said:

Is that stalker still supplying Alyssa and her girls with church dresses? If she's spending less on clothing that may explain the bigger budget for shoes.

I've seen Alyssa tag Tikky (or whatever the fuck her name is) recently, so she's still around. 

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Alyssa seems obsessed with the picture perfect house and living out the fantasy of all the nice things she didn’t have growing up, function be damned. Formal dining room with a glass table and all white upholstery in a home with 4 young kids, check. Coffee bar area for her and John, check. Informal kitchen dining table with kiddie placemats you can wipe down so kids can eat inside when it’s a 105 degree heat index in Fla., nope. A family room with furniture, nope. 

I mean it’s clear they can’t afford a house and all new furniture all at once but priorities?! Even as of 2 wks ago when C&E visited and then she planned her dumb anniversary, the family room was EMPTY. Like no furniture - bc that’s where the “chiropractor” set up her table. Yet the formal dining room is done?! I assume they put the one couch they had upstairs and now need family room furniture but wouldn’t it make sense to have someplace for the family to sit and also to eat before you ordered your picture perfect formal dining room furniture?!

 

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8 hours ago, emmawoodhouse said:

It's not even contrasting colors. You can barely read the print.

Not to mention, all that weird space before the words even start. I don’t get it. 

8 hours ago, cereality said:

Put a kitchen table in there that's cheap and wipeable and feed your kids there and use it as the kids table for holiday meals. Then like most homes the formal dining room is for holidays when the kids are old enough not to be dropping food all over the chairs.

I agree. She did say she was going to do a little coffee bar under the window but I think there’s plenty of space for a little dinette set. 

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