Kandi's Momma Joyce: Give Dora the Explorer A Wig Tug in Here

[cooksdelight]

As this season progresses, and with Sharon's death, I think we'll need a place to vent about Joyce.

Please remember not to post anything that would be considered libelous or defamatory, and be nice to one another. We're all in the same big pink plastic Hello Kitty chair together.

This should be a place to vent about her antics in general, past or present, if it has nothing to do with a present episode. A place to blow off steam. :)

[ridethemaverick]

This heffa.

[ticklemepink]

Please take the "Momma" out of the title.

[cooksdelight]

But that's what everyone on the show calls her, don't ya know.

[Aunt Kiki]

I wonder if Joyce also did a look up of A.J.s Mom like she did with Miss Sharon. 

 

I remember how ugly she was about Kandi getting serious with A.J.  I didn't like her then and thought she was more concerned about possibly losing her allowance from Kandi. 

[Watermelon]

I didn't mind Mama Joyce when it came to AJ. He was of average looks, owned a strip club and had a shit ton of kids. Even though she was too much, I could see why she would be so unenthused about him.

Everything since then though, has made it obvious there was nothing he could have done that Joyce would have found acceptable. I'm sure she could have found fault with him owning a McDonald's.

[Brooklynista]

I see shades of Nene in this Joyce broad. Just naturally pops off at the mouth and expects all around her to eat it, accept it and move on cause "that's just how I am".

What I cant understand is Kandi's quiet. The silence from her to her mother is deafening. It's almost like she co-signs because after Joyce talks much shit about her soon to be MIL, Kandi buys her a new house? Say what?

She's sending a strong message to Todd with bullshit like that and I hope he's listening. His feelings will never come before Joyce and her mouth. Kandi will never check her. That woman will come in their lives at will, wreck havoc and saunter out giving herself kudos for a job well done. Kandi and Joyce are a sick unit and they will never be healthy.

I don't approve of gold digging but I hope Todd has a tiny shovel. He should use whatever opportunites come his way from being a Husband of Housewife and start stacking. Let Kandi pay for his daughters college tuition. Maybe set up a meeting w Kim. She can school him on what sort of gifts he should ask for so he can accumulate them as assets. Then when the breakup that we all know is coming does come, he is still sitting on a mini fortune.

[goofygirl]

Dang Brooklynista,GOOD THINKING!! And as far as MJ is concerned, she is a lost cause.  Kandi  needs to be careful and not spend ALL her money because MJ & Riley are gonna be pissed if they can't continue "the life to which they have become accustomed".

Edited December 15, 2014 by goofygirl

[ramby]

Check out this preview of when Kandi confronts her mother about her boyfriend ripping apart Kandi's house.  I truly despise Joyce.  Truly.

 

http://kandionline.com/mama-joyces-shocking-news/

[Bronzedog]

I take Joyce's comments on that clip to mean she takes pills for high blood pressure. hmm, so?

[swankie]

Check out this preview of when Kandi confronts her mother about her boyfriend ripping apart Kandi's house.  I truly despise Joyce.  Truly.

 

http://kandionline.com/mama-joyces-shocking-news/

Naw!!!  That bitch needs an ass whoopin and nothing less will do.  I can't believe she's playing the fake illness card to get out of being held accountable for the damage to Kandi's house.  Better still, Kandi needs to put her old ass away in a nursing home about 5 states away.  Don't make no damn sense!

[Mondrianyone]

Joyce's lifestyle was definitely upgraded by Kandi, but she's not dependent on Kandi's money.

Assuming none of us have access to Joyce's private financial records, how can this be stated with such certainty?  Especially when all indications are that she is and has been dependent on Kandi's money, even before Kandi bought her a huge house with her own personal basketball court.  What job would someone of her limited education and verbal skills hold that would pay her to live in the style to which she's become accustomed?  I know that Joyce has said she doesn't rely on Kandi financially, but she's said any number of things that are evidently untrue.  And Kandi has said exactly the opposite.  Common sense and credibility both lean heavily in the latter direction.

[demarti]

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Joyce's lifestyle was definitely upgraded by Kandi, but she's not dependent on Kandi's money.  I also don't think family should attempt to control people's behavior by withholding money.  Just because Kandi is rich doesn't make her the mother.  Parents sometimes say or do things we don't like or agree with.  That doesn't mean it's okay to be disrespectful.  

How do you know Joyce is not dependant on Kandi's money? I thought she had nothing but her monthly social security checks.

[lovetowrite73]

 

Kandi hasn't defended her mother's words

 

No, but she's made excuses for them (something along the lines of you know how old people are), which is just as bad. I think many people have said that the problem is Kandi is not presenting herself as a united front with her husband when it comes to her mom, and that is a problem. When you get married, the spouse comes first above all else, and that includes ratchet mamas.

[drivethroo]

Joyce is dependent on Kandi's money and Kandi's access to money.  That's why she got credit cards in Kandi's name (unbeknownst to Kandi).

 

If Joyce had her own money and good credit, she wouldn't need to take out credit cards in Kandi's name to spend and gamble away.

[ZaldamoWilder]

 

Kandi would be loyal to Joyce because she's her mother...  Supporting her mother financially is a separate issue from Joyce making comments about Todd and Sharon.

 

Right, but it isn't mandatory.  Loyalty and respect are earned (and usually reciprocal) privileges, not a guarantee or right of blood ties.  The support is separate from Joyce's comments but the point is that Kandi's decision to continue it reinforces Joyce's belief that there are no negative consequences of her behavior, at least not between she and her daughter. 

 

After the "pimp" and "prostitute" comments, I don't recall Joyce saying anything else on camera about them that was different.

 

Before this she referred to Todd on numerous occasions as a golddigger, incapable of supporting Kandi.  She implied that he was lazy and accordingly, would want to be supported by Kandi (this is actually where in the manner to which he'd become accustomed to came from) Joyce was referring to wording that should not be contained in the prenup.  She ridiculed the engagement ring he bought to such an extent that it brought Kandi to tears (even though it was the very ring she'd chosen).  She accused Todd and Carmon of carrying on behind Kandi's back and when Carmon told her to knock it off, she called Carmon and left her a nasty threatening voicemail.  She had to be physically restrained from beating this same woman's ass during bridal gown auditions, under the guise that this was strictly a family appointment so Carmon didn't even have a right to be there in the first place, nevermind that Kandi had invited her.  I'm not even really sure why that would inspire violence but when we examine the real gag, it makes more sense.  Carmon's been on to Joyce for years and is neither intimidated, amused nor moved by her bullshit and Joyce knows it.  We're moving on.  The day of Kandi's wedding, as Midnight pointed out, she went out of her way to make a comment that emotionally isolated a child, her soon to be stepgrandchild.   I'm gonna stop right here because that's all I remember but without all of this, let's assume that pimp and prostitute were all shed've said, why wouldn't disparaging Todd's parents with those comments alone be sufficient?

 

Kandi hasn't defended her mother's words and has told her mother she needs to apologize.  Kandi clearly thinks Joyce was wrong, but that still doesn't mean she should listen to people trash her mother.

 

Yea girl, she has.  Responding with "that's just how my mama rolls" is a defense.  The infuriating thing about Kandi with this, is as you pointed out, she knows her mother is straight up wrong.  Yes, the pre wedding tears with Cynthia but remember when she met with her father and he said that her mother kept her from him.  She SAID she didn't believe it but her body couldn't contain her sadness because her mind KNOWS it's true.  We agree about that part, Kandi does know her mother's wrong, that's what makes this so fucking annoying, stop defending what you know is wrong.   When somebody comes at her about her mom she don't have to say shit.  This is not difficult, my own mother is exactly like Joyce, when people who know we're related start a sentence with your mom said or your mom did, my response is:   I believe you.  Simple, there's nothing to get turned up about if you know your mother's a fucking nut.  According to the fair is fair principle she actually should listen to people trash her mother, because she has no problem listening while her mother trashes them.  I think this is also covered under the what goes around comes back around and if you dish it out you better be able to take it doctrines.

 

Joyce commented last season that she was not allowed to come to Kandi's house if she was going to be negative and disrespectful.  People tell stories all of the time about non-rich mother-in-laws who are "monster-in-laws".

 

A great consequence if Kandi would've been able to stick to it, but as pointed out upthread, the emotional abuse goes so deep I don't think she knows how to institute a boundary.

 

Todd doesn't have to deal with disrespect about his mother, but Kandi isn't the one who made the comments...

 

No, she's just the one making it clear that she's tolerating them.  

 

Kandi was cursing, but so were Sharon and Todd.  Kandi was not cursing Sharon out.

 

Sharon was cursing her out for (1) having lied to her the first time Sharon asked Kandi about what was said (2) defending that lie and (3) defending Joyce's perpetration of an altogether new and damaging lie on television.   Kandi didn't have na'an one reason to be mad at Sharon. 

 

Kandi doesn't "allow" Joyce to do anything.  Joyce has free will and said what she said.  Kandi told Joyce to apologize, but if she won't Kandi can't change that.

 

She allows Joyce access to her life in a way that underwrites her mother's behavior.   If Kandi had any sense at all and told her mom that inclusion in her life is conditioned upon not being a vile ole bitch and Joyce valued and wanted a relationship with her daughter and good good granddaughter, she'd either change her behavior or Kandi and everybody associated with her wouldn't be subjected to Joyce anymore.   So yes, she allows it because Kandi is the only person who has enough emotional influence in Joyce's life to force her to change her behavior.  Or not.

 

Kandi can cut Joyce out of the show, but that still won't change what Joyce said and what Todd and Sharon were upset about.

 

This is Todd's fault.  My mother in law would not be making one dime talking shit about me about me and my family on the same show I'm on.  

 

Joyce's lifestyle was definitely upgraded by Kandi, but she's not dependent on Kandi's money.  I also don't think family should attempt to control people's behavior by withholding money.  Just because Kandi is rich doesn't make her the mother.  Parents sometimes say or do things we don't like or agree with.  That doesn't mean it's okay to be disrespectful.

 

Of course she's dependent on Kandi's money.  The woman opened up credit cards in Kandi's name without her knowing about it.  If it wasn't for her accountant, she still wouldn't know.   This, despite Joyce having been put on a pretty damn generous monthly allowance and living mortgage free since Kandi was a teenager.  If this wasn't about money for Joyce, she'd sell those cuckaracha diamonds to fix up the house she fucked up and wouldn't want her daughter to unnecessarily incur the bills that accompany a brand new 7 bedroom house, all her gambling debts and the lifestyle to which she has become accustomed. to.

 

I'm sorry in my rambling, I just realized that your point isn't that Joyce isn't an asshole, it's why do people want to hold Kandi responsible for it.    Because not to discourage it is to encourage it.   Think of Joyce as a huge flood and Kandi's the house at the bottom of the hill.    She knows it's coming, yet she doesn't sandbag, she doesn't put furniture up, she doesn't make sure the sump pump battery is working, she doesn't board up, she doesn't make sure she has a generator, she doesn't gas up the car and stock canned goods.  Not only does she do none of that, she flings open all the doors and windows, hangs new drapes and lays area rugs, leaves all her shit plugged in and waits.   No it is most definitely not her fault the storm hit, it's her fault there's as much damage as there is when it could've been mitigated or avoided altogether.   Storms cannot control themselves so, I'm being really generous in that analogy.   Girl we gone have to agree to disagree, that took all the words I had. lol!

 

eta:  readers infer, speakers imply.  dammit just one time I wanna not edit a post.

Edited December 16, 2014 by ZaldamoWilder

[Brooklynista]

Zaldamo YES!! Gurl I am doing a praise dance right on up and down the aisles on this here job!!! Amen on every word in your post.

You own the Internet this week.

[ZaldamoWilder]

Check out this preview of when Kandi confronts her mother about her boyfriend ripping apart Kandi's house.  I truly despise Joyce.  Truly.

 

http://kandionline.com/mama-joyces-shocking-news/

 

ya'll?  what's an amarism?   can't nothing kill her except maybe drowning in the river Styx.

 

Naw!!!  That bitch needs an ass whoopin and nothing less will do.  I can't believe she's playing the fake illness card to get out of being held accountable for the damage to Kandi's house.  Better still, Kandi needs to put her old ass away in a nursing home about 5 states away.  Don't make no damn sense!

 

How bout she got all in her feelings on the text before the fake illness?   How bout, the fuck does "what has Benny ever done to you?"  have anything to do with anything?   Well to start he tore up my house and stole every piece of copper in that muffucah while you stood by and fixed him a cheese sandwich.   I really can't wait to see what Kandi says when this results in Joyce defending Benny. 

 

This heffa (™ ridethemaverick) indeed

Brooklyn, I bow deeply at the waist! lol.  and am accepting payments in cronuts.  

[demarti]

Check out this preview of when Kandi confronts her mother about her boyfriend ripping apart Kandi's house.  I truly despise Joyce.  Truly.

 

http://kandionline.com/mama-joyces-shocking-news/

Ya'll do not look at this preview unless you want to lose your mind!!! I see where this is going: Joyce is busted without any excuse for why she and her boyfriend left Kandi's house trashed. Todds mom passes away. Joyce is going to pretend like she is sick and on meds so Kandi will be nice and let her off the hook cause god forbid Joyce passes away, too. Kandi will fall for the whole bunch of bullshit. Total manipulation. Fucking Joyce has somehow found a way to use Sharon's passing to her own advantage. What a vile, disgusting excuse for human being.

[ZaldamoWilder]

demarti hold ya hands out, I'm putting five on it.

[swankie]

What job would someone of her limited education and verbal skills hold that would pay her to live in the style to which she's become accustomed?  I know that Joyce has said she doesn't rely on Kandi financially, but she's said any number of things that are evidently untrue.

 

 

So true.  A person who is financially independent doesn't steal her daughter's credit card and run up a bunch of Home Shopping Network charges on it.  Joyce has already proven over and over that she's a humongous lying liar who lies.  The woman is beyond reproach. I wouldn't put it past her to dip into Riley's trust fund if she had a way to do it.  The really bad thing is now that we see she was already playing the "illness" card before Sharon passed away, she will play it to the hilt now that she's gone.  And Kandi will be powerless to do anything to go against anything that old hag doles out at this point.  The best post I've seen on here is, "The wrong mother died!"  Ain't that the honest to God's truth!

 

Oops!  Didn't know Drivethroo already beat me to it. 

 

Todds mom passes away. Joyce is going to pretend like she is sick and on meds so Kandi will be nice and let her off the hook cause god forbid Joyce passes away, too. Kandi will fall for the whole bunch of bullshit. Total manipulation. Fucking Joyce has somehow found a way to use Sharon's passing to her own advantage. What a vile, disgusting excuse for human being.

 

 

Since this is a preview of the next episode to be shown Sunday, I'm assuming this was filmed before Sharon passed away, right? 

Edited December 16, 2014 by swankie

[RedKoolAide]

Swankie, Joyce actually applied for credit cards in Kandi's name and ran up a bill. She stole Kandi's identity and got away with it.

[cooksdelight]

Didn't it come up at the reunion or somewhere that Joyce is retired from a job? Something to do with the phone company?

[swankie]

Didn't it come up at the reunion or somewhere that Joyce is retired from a job? Something to do with the phone company?

 

 

I remember Joyce mentioning something about working in a Cookie Factory.  I think it was during the reunion in response to someone asking her about living on Kandi's dime.  Or maybe she just mentioned that she doesn't have to work her fingers to the bone in a Cookie factory.  I know I was a little perplexed when she said it.

 

Actually, she said she worked in a Pie Factory.  It was on the reunion show.  http://youtu.be/VJ_YQwaPfzc?t=25m1s

Edited December 16, 2014 by swankie

[Ubiquitous]

Didn't know Not My Mama Joyce could smile!

I'd hardly call that a smile. She looks like she's in pain making that expression.

Before this she referred to Todd on numerous occasions as a golddigger, incapable of supporting Kandi.  She implied that he was lazy and accordingly, would want to be supported by Kandi (this is actually where in the manner to which he'd become accustomed to came from) Joyce was referring to wording that should not be contained in the prenup.  She ridiculed the engagement ring he bought to such an extent that it brought Kandi to tears (even though it was the very ring she'd chosen).  She accused Todd and Carmon of carrying on behind Kandi's back and when Carmon told her to knock it off, she called Carmon and left her a nasty threatening voicemail.  She had to be physically restrained from beating this same woman's ass during bridal gown auditions, under the guise that this was strictly a family appointment so Carmon didn't even have a right to be there in the first place, nevermind that Kandi had invited her.  I'm not even really sure why that would inspire violence but when we examine the real gag, it makes more sense.  Carmon's been on to Joyce for years and is neither intimidated, amused nor moved by her bullshit and Joyce knows it.  We're moving on.  The day of Kandi's wedding, as Midnight pointed out, she went out of her way to make a comment that emotionally isolated a child, her soon to be stepgrandchild.   I'm gonna stop right here because that's all I remember but without all of this, let's assume that pimp and prostitute were all shed've said, why wouldn't disparaging Todd's parents with those comments alone be sufficient?

I recall at some point she left someone a vox mail message about paying someone to set up Todd.

[cooksdelight]

I recall at some point she left someone a vox mail message about paying someone to set up Todd.

Yes, I wish I could remember who, because when Kandi was told about it, we got the standard reaction. And if I remember correctly, Kandi told Todd about it.

[Chrissytd]

Yes, I wish I could remember who, because when Kandi was told about it, we got the standard reaction. And if I remember correctly, Kandi told Todd about it.

It was Carmon that got the angry Joyce voicemail.

[WireWrap]

No, but she's made excuses for them (something along the lines of you know how old people are), which is just as bad. I think many people have said that the problem is Kandi is not presenting herself as a united front with her husband when it comes to her mom, and that is a problem. When you get married, the spouse comes first above all else, and that includes ratchet mamas.

Kandi speaks of her mother like she is 90 years old! Isn't Joyce in her 60's? Kandi has to just accept that her mother is a mean, nasty, hateful woman to her core and age has nothing to do with it.

[BitterApple]

Joyce not liking AJ was the only thing I've ever agreed with her on. If my daughter ever brought a guy home who had six baby mamas, I'd have her committed.

[Tararayne]

Wow ZaldomWilder what an amazing post.

I really dislike Kandi now. She gets defensive every time someone talks about her mom's unacceptable behavior and insists she will not cut her out of her life. Well girl, if you put boundaries in place-"No mama, you're not gonna act like that/say that towards me/my husband/my mother in law/etc. If you do, then you won't be in our lives"-and your mother chooses to not respect the boundaries, then SHE is the one cutting herself out of your life. It's up to HER. You don't just have to take any and all abusive shit just because she's your mother. And you damn sure don't buy her a new house after she destroyed another one you bought! Does Kandi really not see this? If she doesn't set boundaries, she will never keep a decent man. Never. I already give Todd the side eye for marrying into this situation. No decent, self respecting man would put up with that shit. You can support your mama all you want to, buy her anything she wants, but you deserve respect in return at the very least. Again, it's MJ's choice. If she wants the "lifestyle", then she better act right. Simple.

So what are we dealing with here? Sociopath? Psychopath? Extreme narcissistic personality disorder?

Edited January 2, 2015 by Tararayne

[cooksdelight]

I don't know, but Kandi is not smart enough to figure out that if she cuts her mother off, financially and emotionally, that the old hag will come around? Joyce wants the money and lifestyle worse than anything. If she has to toe the line and behave in order to get it, something tells me she will.

Kandi just has NO backbone where giving money to people she wants to please is concerned.

[Tararayne]

So I work for HSN part time, and I knew I recognized that maxi Joyce was sporting at the barbecue. It's just funny because I remember Kandi saying Joyce blew all her money on HSN. I wonder if she also picked up Nene's signature mumu? It's on clearance now for 19.95, Joyce.

[Chrissytd]

Smh

 

http://radaronline.com/exclusives/2015/01/mama-joyce-slams-kandi-burruss-husband-todd-tucker/

[Watermelon]

I shouldn't think violent thoughts, but I wish Todd had an auntie that would beat the breaks off Joyce.

[ZaldamoWilder]

Wow ZaldomWilder what an amazing post.

I really dislike Kandi now. She gets defensive every time someone talks about her mom's unacceptable behavior and insists she will not cut her out of her life. Well girl, if you put boundaries in place-"No mama, you're not gonna act like that/say that towards me/my husband/my mother in law/etc. If you do, then you won't be in our lives"-and your mother chooses to not respect the boundaries, then SHE is the one cutting herself out of your life. It's up to HER. You don't just have to take any and all abusive shit just because she's your mother. And you damn sure don't buy her a new house after she destroyed another one you bought! Does Kandi really not see this? If she doesn't set boundaries, she will never keep a decent man. Never. I already give Todd the side eye for marrying into this situation. No decent, self respecting man would put up with that shit. You can support your mama all you want to, buy her anything she wants, but you deserve respect in return at the very least. Again, it's MJ's choice. If she wants the "lifestyle", then she better act right. Simple.

 

*curtsey* thanks girl.

 

Kandi can't do what you're suggesting.   Emotional abuse is so insidious she has no idea what's been happening her whole life.   The people who keep trying to point it out to her and getting swatted away, I'm not sure that they don't understand that it isn't as simple as her defaulting to defending Joyce but years of unwillingness to examine and confront the dysfunction.   She may never get to boundaries, that comes after acknowledgement and since once you know you can't unknow, she won't get there anytime soon (says me). 

 

So what are we dealing with here? Sociopath? Psychopath? Extreme narcissistic personality disorder?

 

Magic 8-ball says combo plate.  Sociopathic narcissist.  

[cooksdelight]

MJ poolside. She doesn't look bad at all, but that creepy smile and you know her rachety voice is just on the other side.

https://www.facebook.com/KandiFans/photos/a.10151841040849380.1073741825.235984194379/10153443822964380/?type=1&theater

[Gharlane]

16 hours ago, Warcraftwife said:

Why can't Kandi stand up to her mother on any issue involving her personal life? It's blatantly obvious. It's her life, not her mom's. Her mother is running her life, emotions, thoughts, love life, mostly everything. she's obviously can't see it and puts her so far high up on a pedestal. If any person that wants Kandi's money, it looks to be her Mom, by her behavior & actions, etc.. I wish Kandi would wake up and see what's happening. My mom did this to me for years. Be careful, it ruined my life by her selfishness and greed...among other things I won't say here ..

Yeah, I don't get it either.