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Small Talk: a.k.a. 'The Meet Market'

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The Elementary thread will be there, too? 'Cuz there's no link at the moment, but it's listed among the others (also without links). I've kinda held off watching the last few episodes, so it'll be nice to be able to read it. Anyway, thank you for your work, regularlyleaded! And thank you for the link, too ;)

Edited by FurryFury

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We just got word my husband's mother died. He's headed to his sister's house, right now. She's had a rough couple of months but this is unexpected. It doesn't feel real. My m-i-l was a great lady. 

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I am so sorry for your loss, Cindy! That is a tough thing to face--no matter what.

The mobile format of these forums look exactly like TWoP's did. So, that's good! I guess I've officially made the move now!

Edited by Rumsy4

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Oh, Cindy that is terrible. Your family will be in my prayers tonight.

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Thanks, everyone. Talk about a dose of perspective. Message board smessage board.

I feel bad for my oldest son. He was at work when we got the call and just got home, so I had to break the news.

His Sr. Prom is Wednesday (probably the day of the wake) and he and his friends rented a vacay home for that night and the next two days. My husband told me to tell him not to miss his events, so I did. Well, we absolutely didn't want him to miss the prom for the wake. I told him to do what he wants and no judgment from us.

Now I'm thinking, that while my husband wasn't home, I probably should have told our son to go to prom, but skip the get-away. I mean, I told him what my husband said to say, but now I'm remembering my dad's death. The kids were little, then, but I think I would have been hurt if they were older and well… you know. I don't want my husband to have any additional hurt. He adored his mother (and rightfully so). I also don't want to cast a bigger shadow over my son's prom and graduation week. Ugh. Can I resign?

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Cindy - my condolences to you, your husband, and the rest of the family. I've had grandparents pass away suddenly (the first in a car accident when I was 12) so I know how this can just shake up a family. I feel for your son with his prom and graduation happening this week. He'll probably have lots of mixed emotions going on. My best to all of you as you endure what is sure to be a very hard week.

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I'm really sorry to hear that, Cindy, and that is such a tough situation.  I think you did the right thing by letting him make the decision.  If he does end up going to the getaway, maybe he can find some other way to honor his grandmother when he returns.

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I wonder how long it will take for that to go away...and how long it'll take before *I* stop just typing in "O" for the TWOP Once page out of instinct.

Oh, me too! I have a few of my key forums where I could type one letter and bring it up. There will be habits to break.

 

Hugs to Cindy and your family. I would definitely say that leaving things up to your son is the right thing to do, and make it really clear that you support and understand whatever decision he makes. My family members have a talent of dying at very inconvenient times (I can cut a huge swath through my family by buying expensive and hard-to-obtain theater tickets), and it helps immensely to know you're neither expected to put your life on hold nor to carry on like normal. It's okay to do things you have planned, especially if they involve other people or commitments, but it's also okay to know when "normal" isn't going to feel normal and to change plans. Going to the prom but not the events afterward sounds like a good compromise.

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I also want to send my condolences to you and your family, Cindy.  It sounds as though you were really close to your mother-in-law and that your son was close to his grandmother.  I wouldn't be at all surprised if he decided to skip the get-away just for that reason.

 

It makes me glad that I got to talk to my grandmother one last time before she died a few years ago.  My grandfather had called me on my 50th birthday, and I asked whether my grandmother, who had been extremely ill and had been suffering from severe arthritis for many years, would be up for chatting for a little while.   She came to the phone, and one of the first things I did was thank her just for being my grandmother and for the many things that she had taught me over the years (I was the first grandchild on that side of the family, and I remember that while my grandmother was rather no-nonsense, she definitely adored and cherished all of her grandchildren, especially me, since I was so much like her). 

 

It was during that conversation that I said my goodbye to her, since we all suspected she wouldn't be around much longer, so when I finally got the news a couple of months later (just before Easter, in fact), I was not only relieved that she was finally done with her suffering, but I also didn't feel the need to attend her funeral (which was in another state and would have been impossible for me to attend in any event due to the lack of finances on my part) because I had already said everything to her that I had wanted to say in that phone conversation on my 50th birthday.

Edited by legaleagle53

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Thank you, Lee. How blessed you are to have had your grandparents so long into your life. My last grandparent (mum's mother) died when I was 25.  I am glad you had such a nice last moment with your grandmother.

When Ben (my oldest) was born, Scott (husband) and I lived next-door to Scott's parents. She was always feeding us, babysitting, and just keeping me company. Mother-in-law jokes always tick me off, because this lady has been one of the most important women in my life. She never did anything that didn't boost my marriage and parenting. She is a saint. Our Jean had 9 children in 11.5 years (so clearly, she's already in heaven, because she didn't kill a one). She was sharp, funny, warm, kind, helpful, and quite beautiful (my husband looks just like her, albeit male). I keep telling myself that tonight, we're the ones who are hurting, while she is in glory.

Edited by CindyMcLennan
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Thank you, Lee. How blessed you are to have had your grandparents so long into your life. My last grandparent (mum's mother) died when I was 27.  I am glad you had such a nice last moment with your grandmother.

When Ben (my oldest) was born, Scott (husband) and I lived next-door to Scott's parents. She was always feeding us, babysitting, and just keeping me company. Mother-in-law jokes always tick me off, because this lady has been one of the most important women in my life. She never did anything that didn't boost my marriage and parenting. She is a saint. Our Jean had 9 children in 11.5 years (so clearly, she's already in heaven, because she didn't kill a one). She was sharp, funny, warm, kind, helpful, and quite beautiful (my husband looks just like her, albeit male). I keep telling myself that tonight, we're the ones who are hurting, while she is in glory.

What will help most is wrapping yourself up in your good memories of her -- and it sounds as though you have a lot of them. 

 

That's what helped my family after my youngest brother died unexpectedly from pneumonia back in 2007.  He would have been 46 on the 14th of this month, but I still remember the day my mother brought him home from the hospital.  He was such a cute baby that we actually DID baby him for a lot longer than we probably should have, but he had a heart as big as all outdoors, and the most offbeat sense of humor, so we just couldn't help ourselves. 

 

The thing I remember most about his passing (aside from the shock when my mother told me) was just being there for my mother at his funeral; I actually didn't mind that I wasn't asked to participate in the funeral, because I felt that as the oldest, my proper place was at my mother's side, which I never left the entire time I was there, and it was I who held her in my arms as she turned away from the casket as it was being closed at the funeral home -- it was the one thing that she said she couldn't bear to watch.

 

Even almost seven years later, my brother is never far from my heart, and I still think of him especially at this time of year.

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I'm really sorry, Cindy. I have two remaining grandparents I adore, but my last big loss (a very dear aunt), I'm glad I was able to remember her as she was and was never witness to her body afterwards. I recognize that wakes are a big part of the grieving process for many people and at times I've found them comforting to see that the person isn't "in there" anymore and is not suffering. But I'm also very big on not going to them when I feel like I need my memories of the person not that way need to be preserved.

 

In trivial news, I haven't been on because I was away from home from midday yesterday from right after I'd last posted the songs in the meet market. Sorry for making your cry then, Cindy! And then I missed the last few hours of the board didn't get to go for one last peek at all. Perhaps just as well I was too distracted to countdown and go all out on really counting down the seconds and missing it

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I'm really sorry, Cindy. I have two remaining grandparents I adore, but my last big loss (a very dear aunt), I'm glad I was able to remember her as she was and was never witness to her body afterwards. I recognize that wakes are a big part of the grieving process for many people and at times I've found them comforting to see that the person isn't "in there" anymore and is not suffering. But I'm also very big on not going to them when I feel like I need my memories of the person not that way need to be preserved.

 

I know what you mean, Aliasscape.  My parents, God willing, should be around for another 15-20 years, but it's already hard for me to see how old my mother has gotten (she's only 74, but she looks a good 20 years older than that -- I guess raising four boys as as a divorced mother will do that to you).  I prefer to remember her as she was when she was young; I always thought she was quite beautiful then, and she had the most beautiful soprano voice.  She also had a real knack for reading stories to my brothers and me; I still remember the expression she would put into her readings.

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My most sincere condolences to you and your family, Cindy. My prayers are with you and your family.

 

[sorry, had to edit out the link to the download - it's still copyrighted material]

Edited by David T. Cole
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My thoughts are with you at this very sad time, Cindy.  There is not a right or wrong way to handle this loss and all the logistics, just be there for each other when and how you can.

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Thanks, regularlyleaded.  I just noticed that you saved the Journeyman thread.  Thank you so much!  I loved that show... so disappointed when it was cancelled.

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Oh Cindy.. what a time of woe you have been having. I recall you praising your wonderful mother-in-law and I am sincerly sorry for the loss of this wonderful person in your life and the lives of your husband & family. 

 

When someone has lost somone so wonderful & dear, I cannot help but think how fortunate they were to have had such a person in their lives. While that person has moved on.. to our loss & pain, it is a sorrow that is in measure to the greatness of the gift that was their life, and our relationship with them. That can never be taken away.

 

Between your son's accident, TWoP/job, and now this, I think you have had your fill for quite some time and hopefully good things are ahead.

 

 

 

Thanks for everything regularlyleaded you're a peach.

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Thank you, all.

WalkSoftly. Just today I was remembering your kind PMs to me after my son's accident. Thank you.

Everyone, I know there are copyright concerns. Here is how I understand things: we are allowed to DL things for personal use. That said, I understand why P.TV doesn't want archive links on this board. P.TV hosts ads. That changes the game.

My friend started a FB page for me, about a month before the TWoP news broke. I'm going to leave the link for it. Regularlyleaded, if you want to post a link to your archive, which people will use only for their own use, I don't have a problem with it, and figure Mark Zuckerberg can deal with the headache. Please feel free to link to all of your stuff here: 
https://www.facebook.com/twopcindymclennan
 

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Cindy, I'm sorry for your loss. Sending positive energy to you and your family.

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This is very random, but I was looking at kittens on Petfinder and came across this little girl named Regina. Lo and behold, her siblings are Robin, Snow, and Charming. It might be a sign.

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Leia, what a cutie! Of course she's a black kitty. Though I would be cautious about adopting Regina. She may scratch your heart out as you sleep. And then if you adopted Snow, too, they would alternate being friends and trying to kill each other. (OK, like most cats, but still.)

 

My money would be on Charming making the best pet. Robin would always be bringing pinecones into the house.

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This is my first post to Previously. (Wow I THOUGHT I might have been the last to post at the old thread but couldn't be sure.  I kept refreshing until it went to a screen saying the site was unavailable.)  I took Sunday off to honor the passing of TWOP.  I am so sorry to now hear of a real loss.  I'm sorry Cindy.  It is never easy to lose family and I can see the difficulty in the Prom and get away situation.  I think you did the best you could with the hand you were dealt.  He's old enough that he has to make the decision for himself.  You are right that there is no wrong or right in the decision.  It has to be what he feels more comfortable with; the way he can grieve easier.  Some people need to get away for a while until the feelings aren't so raw.  Some people need to be glued to thier family.  Each person is different so whatever he decides either (a) it's the right choice for him and shouldn't be judged or (b) was the choice he thought would be best at the time but wasn't what brought him peace but then would be a growth experience so still not wrong in the long run.  The most important thing is that everybody be accepting of everybody.  My prayers are with your family. 

 

I haven't attempted to see what regularlyleaded "scraped" because there are some navigation issues I haven't figured out yet and I don't have facebook (but I think I will soon.) but thank him/her nontheless because I hope to see it soon,  I had no understanding on how to save threads.  If I had I would have saved the "Rockstar:" thread.  I will always remember the discussions of the crazy contestants of season 2 including Zayra who everybody agreed would be beamed back to her home planet any minute and Delana who one poster kept insisting would rule by the side of Satan as his Queen.  It was hysterical.  Here's hoping to a long and happy run here and that we continue to support each other as friends. 

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Heyy, Long time lurker in twop, sometimed poster back in the Veronica mars days of old, figured I'd start contributing here.

Edited by Delphi
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I lurked TWOP for several months, after deciding to actually register the account registration closed. I really enjoyed reading the threads there, and I'm happy I finally get to be involved with the community here on Previously! 

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Longtime lurker at TWoP, and just joined here to help deal with the withdrawal symptoms. Nice to meet you all, and my condolences to Cindy on her recent losses. I hope that everything gets better all around from now on!

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Hi everyone new/migrating from TWoP. So sorry, Cindy.

 

I thought I'd share a kind of funny story with you guys since you all will appreciate it. Long story short, Ginny and Josh killed my computer. Longer story, my computer has been having trouble with the graphics card for a year. It was sort of fixed up for awhile, but then this past weekend it started acting up again. If I clicked on something too graphics-heavy it would freeze up and I'd have to restart it, and then sometimes it just wouldn't restart. :( Anyway, one day the thing that made it freeze was clicking on an article about Ginny and Josh's new baby. I had to take it in to the shop and we totally reset everything. I thought maybe we'd be good, so in the process of restarting everything, I clicked on another article about their baby and that made it freeze again. It wouldn't start at all after that and that's when I decided to just give up...so I'm typing this now on my new computer. All because of Ginny and Josh. ;)

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Hi again, everyone. Thank you for all the kind thoughts and words.

In the end, the wake has been scheduled for Thursday and the funeral for Friday. My M-i-l has a sister who lives down south and doesn't fly. Since the prom is Wednesday, and the kids were only going away for one night and day (Wed. to Thurs), this simples things up. Ben might not make it home for the wake, but he'll be home for the funeral. He'll have to miss graduation rehearsal for it, but I called the principal and got him excused for it, and told him to just watch what everyone else is doing. He's a bright boy. He'll figure it out.  I'm glad he's not missing all of it. I was second-guessing myself about being so loosey-goosey with him, because I'm pretty sure if he missed my mother's funeral for an overnight getaway, I'd be hurt (and so I started thinking I should have left my husband's largesse out of it, when I talked to our son), but none of that stuff and bother matters. It all worked out. I still feel bad for the poor kid. Yesterday, he told me, "Mommy, what was supposed to be the happiest week of my life so far has turned out to be the saddest." My poor little boy.

Regularlyleaded, I haven't had the concentration necessary to figure out what to do (even with your PM). I hope you'll leave the archive up for a while. I'd like to access it, but decided to wait until my brain has kicked back in.

Lee, I'm so sorry about the loss of your brother. I have no words.

Last Time Lord, how goes the job situation?

 

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Lee, I'm so sorry about the loss of your brother. I have no words.

Thank you, Cindy.  It's been almost seven years, though (we actually lost him in October 2007 after he got sick with pneumonia in August and just never recovered from it), so the actual grieving pretty much ran its course for me a long time ago.  My mother is the one I think a lot more about this time of year, since June 14 was his birthday and he had lived at home his entire life (she was, in fact, the one who discovered him the morning of his passing -- I can't even begin to imagine what that must have been like for her!).

Hi everyone new/migrating from TWoP. So sorry, Cindy.

 

I thought I'd share a kind of funny story with you guys since you all will appreciate it. Long story short, Ginny and Josh killed my computer. Longer story, my computer has been having trouble with the graphics card for a year. It was sort of fixed up for awhile, but then this past weekend it started acting up again. If I clicked on something too graphics-heavy it would freeze up and I'd have to restart it, and then sometimes it just wouldn't restart. :( Anyway, one day the thing that made it freeze was clicking on an article about Ginny and Josh's new baby. I had to take it in to the shop and we totally reset everything. I thought maybe we'd be good, so in the process of restarting everything, I clicked on another article about their baby and that made it freeze again. It wouldn't start at all after that and that's when I decided to just give up...so I'm typing this now on my new computer. All because of Ginny and Josh. ;)

 

Well, they have been trying to safeguard their privacy where the baby's concerned -- and I don't blame them.   I'm sure they're feeling just a bit overwhelmed at the moment (to say nothing of dead exhausted), so I can see why they might be subliminally trying to kill the computers of anyone who's trying to glean information about their little prince!  ;-)

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Well, they should name the baby Petunia, at least. No, I don't care if he's a boy. It's still better than Prince Neal.

 

Heh. Ginny was doing an interview with a late-night show and said something about how they can't do geographic first names like "Austin" because with the "Dallas" last name it will sound like an airport.

 

Also, anyone prepping for the Once Frozen invasion, the cast recording for the musical Idina Menzel's currently starring in, If/Then, has come out and it's also streaming on Spotify. Premise courtesy of Wikipedia:

 

 

If/Then is a musical with a libretto by Brian Yorkey and a theatrical score by Tom Kitt, directed by Michael Greif. It tells the story of a 40-year old woman named Elizabeth[1] who moves back to New York City for a fresh start [...]

 

Newly divorced 39-year-old Elizabeth, an urban planner, moves to New York City for a fresh start. She meets her friends Kate, a lesbian kindergarten teacher, and Lucas, a bisexual community organizer, in Madison Square Park. Kate suggests that Elizabeth start using the name "Liz" and seek out new experiences. Lucas suggests that she go back to her college nickname, "Beth," and start making professional connections in the city. "Liz" stays in the park with Kate while "Beth" leaves with Lucas, and the remainder of the show depicts two paths that Elizabeth's life could take.

 

The music is by the guys who did Next To Normal and it's so good. But don't listen unless you're ready to both laugh totally innapropriatly and be punched right in the feels. Sometimes in the same song. My top five songs are "What If?", "What the F***k?", "Some Other Me", "You Learn to Live Without", and "Love While You Can". But really there's only one or two songs that don't grab me. YMMV of course.

Edited by SilverShadow

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Well, they have been trying to safeguard their privacy where the baby's concerned -- and I don't blame them.   I'm sure they're feeling just a bit overwhelmed at the moment (to say nothing of dead exhausted), so I can see why they might be subliminally trying to kill the computers of anyone who's trying to glean information about their little prince!  ;-)

 

Well, they should name the baby Petunia, at least. No, I don't care if he's a boy. It's still better than Prince Neal.

 

Hee! I would really not recommend Petunia as a name, no worries for them there. A visit to set for next season, you know whatever...I wouldn't turn that down.

 

I really like what someone here suggested, which was that Charming should be the middle name. That would be adorable.

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Holy crap, Adam Horowitz just replied to my tweet -- and it was about hockey and not the show. I am such a nerd.

That being said, I'm a Detroit Red Wings but rooting for the New York Rangers. There's nothing quite like the Stanley Cup Final!

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The NYR beat my Habs.  I'm from Montreal but live in New York now and we were so excited about that ECF.  Nightmare!

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Because I'm a Vartan Ho, I have to root for Michael's Kings, since the Hurricanes didn't sniff the playoffs.

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Holy crap, Adam Horowitz just replied to my tweet -- and it was about hockey and not the show. I am such a nerd.

That being said, I'm a Detroit Red Wings but rooting for the New York Rangers. There's nothing quite like the Stanley Cup Final!

Are you the one that asked if he traded the Jolly for tickets?
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That was me, daxx! Definitely one of my geekier moments. :-)

YaddaYadda -- I'm a Red Wings fan who is married to a Rangers fan. So like you, I prefer Original Six teams in the East -- except the Bruins. Just yuck.

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Sharky, we were on such a high when Montreal beat Boston, because really that team is just, no words!  I like Marty St-Louis, so I'll be happy to see him win the cup again especially with what went down with the Canadian Olympic team and his personal tragedy. 

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I thought it was a cute question! But then I am a geek.

I have notifications set for Adam and Colin so I always see their tweets. Luckily neither of them tweet too much.

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Oh, it's finals time now? I've only been half paying attention since the Sharks blew their three-game lead in the first round and let the Kings go on to glory.

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