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Downton Characters, 2014 Style


PRgal

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This video gave me the idea. What do YOU think they'd be doing?  Thomas would be out of the closet, but still evil, of course.  And Rose would be partying with Miley.  Edith probably wouldn't be too different - single mom/journalist. 

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I don't know. I think Cora would be one of those housewives who runs the PTA and does all the charity stuff but is still bored. Also, she'd have botox and an orange tan. Robert would be much the same. A toff with some kind of make-work government or finance job. Or maybe a backbench Tory MP. Everyone would like him but no one would take him seriously. Mary would be one of those rich people who gets photographed at fashion week but no one knows why. A cut above the Kardashian types, but famous for being famous in a very peripheral way. She knows all the cool bars and probably had a fling with Prince William before he was married, but is utterly disdainful of the gossip press and thinks it's middle-class. I could see Edith having some kind of painfully earnest job at a charity, and boring her acquaintances to tears about it. If Sybil were alive she'd be in Rwanda or something, and would have spent a night in jail after demonstrating against some third-world atrocity.

 

I don't know about Tom. He'd be in America, probably work at a dealership or run a bar. He's political impulses will express themselves by obsessing over a sports team as a symbol of personal pride and would campaign for the Democrats. (Especially during the Bush years). 

 

The servants would have corporate jobs. Thomas would be some kind of middle manager in a prestigious company, who uses dirty office politics to get ahead and everyone hates him but they're scared to fire him. Mrs. Hughes would run her own business and do very well. Anna would be some sort of executive secretary. Bates would bounce around doing odd jobs, probably some of which would involve his forgery skills. Carson would be retired (probably from the civil service) and would complain to anyone who would listen about how the country's going to hell. He's one of those old people who cares deeply about his garden. I don't know about Daisy. She'd have some 9-5 job where she works hard but never really gets anywhere and she'd probably live in a small town. 

 

I never write fanfic. This is fun. 

  • Love 2
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Since Robert seemed to be so anti-radio in last night's episode, I wonder what he wouldn't want to see in his home in 2015.  A 4K TV or something else that's a bit unnecessary?  He probably would have a Blackberry only because he needs it for email (touchscreen?  Android? iOS? Whaaaaa?????).  Otherwise, a flip phone from 2005 is fine. Heh.

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Thomas heads for the U.S., where his good looks, accent and sadism aid him in a career as a physical trainer in LA, Biggest Loser style.  When he is outed (for smoking), the series sends him to detox (nicotine), where he experiences the tremors and cries out for his life partner, Jimmy.  The owner of the local Hans Weiman Hair Club for Men, Jimmy is pleased to have product placement on this hit show.  "Fat and bald go together like donuts and coffee" Jimmy always says (privately), in his recently acquired  American accent, running his manicured hands through his pompadour.  

 

With the riches she acquired writing her NY Times Bestseller Middle Child/Invisi-child, Edith not only pays for the upkeep of DA, but also funds her mother's blackbird sanctuary.  The advance on her second book, Irony: You Can See the Blackbirds, But Not Me keeps vegan Marigold's tattoo parlor, Ta2U(niverse) in the black, so to speak.  Edith makes a note to herself to make an appointment with Thomas the next time she visits Marigold in LA, to lose 10 pounds before her next TED talk.  Say what you will, he really is the best in the business.  

 

Mrs. Patmore's investment in Daisy has paid off.  The manager of The Spotted Dick Cafe, London's chic-est restaurant (whose decor is an exact replica of the DA kitchen), Daisy manages everything from farm to tabletop, never forgetting her roots.  The only thing she doesn't handle is the hiring of the all-male waitstaff (who grace their very own sell-out calendars available only at the restaurant, and one Hans Weiman Hairclub for Men in the U.S). That had always been Mrs. Patmore's job, but this year she enlists the help of her old pal, Mrs. Hughes, because she has her hands full so to speak.

 

Robert also has his hands full, repairing the Betamax recorder (it's constantly breaking!) and managing Bones & Spurs, a clinic for arthritic dogs and horses, inspired by his eagerness to help his beloved Isis regain mobility.  While Robert is pleased to make such a difference in the lives of these animals (especially Isis), he comes to the conclusion that he has no patience for dealing with their owners, so he wisely hires Bates and Carson to assist him.  "I don't know how they do it, but they're great with people," he tells news correspondent, lovely cousin Rose, who can't stay for tea, as she and husband Tom are celebrating their anniversary tonight at The Spotted Dick--  not his idea of a good time, but it's such a small (so to speak) sacrifice for the woman who brought him back to life.

 

Having survived ALL her husbands and suitors, Mary spends her days running her vintage boutique, Cloche Encounters, and her nights?  Well, they've been dreary as of late, but it looks like things might be picking up.   Mr. Bates is coming by DA for tea while Carson and Robert work late.  Now there's a man, thinks Mary.  After all, he's survived just about as many wives as I have husbands.  

 

 From their bird's eye view in Heaven, Violet and Isobel place bets.  "A five spot says it's Ol' Bury'em Bates," Isobel whispers gleefully.  

"Oh, money talks, does it?"  Violet asks, as she puts the note up to her ear.  "Why, indeed it does, but mine is saying put ME on Ol' Poison Crotch.  She always comes out on top so to speak."  The two women laugh as they wait for tea.

Edited by mightycrone
  • Love 7
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I'm rewatching season two right now. Does anyway see a resemblance between William and Jack Lemmon's character in drag on Some Like It Hot? Every time I glance at William's mouth I and jawline, I see Jack Lemmon in drag.

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