S02.E07: Gone Girl

[wrestlesflamingos]

 

After confronting two of her most contentious relationships, Tori is faced with her biggest decision to date. Dean breaks down shattering promises, and Tori's greatest fear becomes a reality.

 

[GaT]

Tori's greatest fear becomes a reality.

A cookie jumps down her throat?

[jcbrown]

 

A cookie jumps down her throat?

Following a bowl of macaroni and cheese.

[Armchair Critic]

"Kate can I put on the crown?". WTF, you are a grown ass woman Tori you don't need permission from one of your flunkies.

 

LOL at Tori's mom and Tatum O'Neal throwing shade.

[CodenameV]

Oh no! Tori's getting worried Mary Jo could get money from Candy. What am I even watching? xD

[iwasish]

Tatum o Neal ? WTF she looks like hell .

[Armchair Critic]

When has Tori ever only existed in the service of others? Telling her to look out for her own needs first is redundant. That therapist is an idiot. Tori needs to take care of her damn kids and stop being so self centered, the opposite of what the therapist is telling her.

 

 

[Cosmic Muffin]

Her worst fear would be that she couldn't be complaining about something - on camera.

 

I did like how WTF T&D were about the random Tatum O'Neal.

[Lablover27]

A cookie jumps down her throat?

 

I was eating a Hawaiian kalibi rib - you owe me one ;)  Hilarious! 

 

More info~!  Does Tatum show up on this hot mess of a show? 

[iwasish]

Oh yeah and she looks and acts like shit. I guess her drug issues are still a problem.

I would have run screaming from that van. Listening to her piss and moan and make it all about Tori Tori Tori. Those friends must have been well paid.

[40Love]

Ok.This is the first time I've really watched Tori and Dean since they were living at the B&B. What in the hell happened to Tori?? When did she become sooo unlikable??? Am I delusional.. was she always this self centered, difficult and irrational... or is this all staged and she's just acting?? This cannot be the real her. I mean she's making me feel bad for Dean.

The way she kept interrupting Dean and talking to her friends when he was telling her about Tatum was so irritating. I don't blame him for being pissed.

And how much is she paying her "friends" to hang out with her. The male friend seems to genuinely like and care for her...but I can't believe they don't want to strangle her with the constant hand - wringing and passive aggressive guilt - tripping. It would drive me CRAAZY!

[Cosmic Muffin]

Yeah, Dean is pretty clearly freaked out that Tatum O'Neal is Candy Gram's plus one, and Tori won't stop interupting him trying to tell her about this, like she thinks he invited Tatum or knew she was coming. Her mother brought her. Tori only invited Mary Jo.

[parisprincess]

What a fun getaway for Tori's friends.  As usual, the whole trip ends up being all about her and her problems.  I've said it before and I'll say it again, the girl is EXHAUSTING!  And I wish they'd stop agreeing with her that she never does anything for herself.  Do they want camera time so bad that they'll agree with anything she says? 

I think the reason Tori hasn't taken care of her physical problems (her boobs and problem from last pregnancy) is because, if she did, then she couldn't be the martyr who sacrifices her own well being for everyone else.  She absolutely thrives on being both a victim and a martyr.

 

Dean may be a jerk, but he is the better parent by far.  With Tori gone, the household seemed to run fine and the kids were happy.

 

Lastly, I feel like this is becoming the Dr. Wexler show. 

[nolieblue]

It really seems like Dean is trying to move forward -- making an effort but also calling Tori on her shit, but Tori is happy to remain the aggrieved wife. While he definitely has his faults, it does seem like he's a flawed but real person while she remains a Real Housewife. Exhausting is absolutely the right word to describe her. 

[sunflowers83823]

Tori seriously makes me want to stab myself in the eyeball with a grapefruit spoon! Whenever I hear her whine I just can't. All I have to say is I feel bad for her kids! She is so narcissistic and toxic. She actually make me feel kind of bad for Dean. What a hot fucking mess...like dirty diaper filled with indian food hot mess. Why do I watch?

[woodscommaelle]

Watching Tori makes me feel so much better about myself. I think my new mantra will be: at least I'm not Tori Spelling.

Therapy on a Sunday?

Edited December 3, 2014 by woodscommaelle

[Straycat80]

Leave it to this dingbat to make Hattie Cat's birthday party all about her. BTW how cute was Hattie in her fairy outfit! Anyway... Why did she invite Mary Jo? There was no reason to invite her. Why did she invite Candy Gram if the woman is going to make you get a migraine? Tatum O'Neal was a mess, obviously still on something. I thought that it was sad that a 3 year olds birthday was all conflict and drama all because Tori couldn't just focus on her daughter and her daughter alone.

I hope those fake friends are getting paid a lot. Tori was a total buzzkill on that whole trip. If I had a friend like her I'd run as fast as I could away from this selfish, Whiney twit!

I don't condone Dean cheating on Tori but I'm almost 100% on Team Dean at this point.

And why are they looking for help with the kids while Dean is working? Can't Tori take care of her own kids? And she was worried again about Dean being alone with the kids. Why? It looked like he was doing a good job while she was on her whine trip. Plus helper Laura was there too.

This really is the show I love to hate!

[woodscommaelle]

How hard is it to PUT ON A FUCKING T-SHIRT? One with all of the fabric. Sides, sleeves. You know, a fucking t-shirt!

[JasminePhyllisia]

Leave it to this dingbat to make Hattie Cat's birthday party all about her. BTW how cute was Hattie in her fairy outfit! Anyway... Why did she invite Mary Jo? There was no reason to invite her. Why did she invite Candy Gram if the woman is going to make you get a migraine? Tatum O'Neal was a mess, obviously still on something. I thought that it was sad that a 3 year olds birthday was all conflict and drama all because Tori couldn't just focus on her daughter and her daughter alone.

I hope those fake friends are getting paid a lot. Tori was a total buzzkill on that whole trip. If I had a friend like her I'd run as fast as I could away from this selfish, Whiney twit!

I don't condone Dean cheating on Tori but I'm almost 100% on Team Dean at this point.

And why are they looking for help with the kids while Dean is working? Can't Tori take care of her own kids? And she was worried again about Dean being alone with the kids. Why? It looked like he was doing a good job while she was on her whine trip. Plus helper Laura was there too.

This really is the show I love to hate!

This is an awesome synopsis of tonight's episode. I really have nothing more to add except the female friend of Deans being interviewed for the babysitting job the minute Tori was out of the house was too strange, either the producers arranged it because they wanted to create drama or there is something, or the potential for something going on between her and Dean.

[4leafclover]

Couldn't help but laugh when Tori said "let's make fairy dust."  Isn't that all that's left of her fairy tale marriage?  And what in the world was Tatum O'Neal doing at a 3 year old's birthday party--a 3 year old she didn't even know?  If she was using this as a vehicle to stay relevant, she needs a new mode of transportation--this show won't get her anywhere!  

 

 

whine trip

Now that was funny--and so apropos!

[tabloidlover]

OMG - so friggin exhausting!  And I don't live with her....   Holy smokes, batman!   Dr Wexler needs to be fired, Dean needs to leave with the kids in tow, Mehran needs to run, and all other paid acquaintances (aka "Friends" ) need to exit left after cashing paycheck.  I actually felt really badly for Mehran in the van -- you could tell how torn he was about telling Tori how crazypants she had become, and going with the flow to avoid any issues.  Wow....

 

Edited to add:  The girl with the Crayola lipstick is the only one ballsy enough to call it as she sees it (buffered though the message is).

Edited December 3, 2014 by tabloidlover

[iwasish]

Is the nanny Laura on Toris personal payroll ? The fuck... she texts Tori to report the goings on in the house? If I were Dean I'd have fired her on the spot. I get she's looking out for the kids but that text about a "chick" was so out of line and meant to stir shit

[LostControl]

Who would be friends with this woman? A friendship is about sharing - with Tori it's all Me Me Me. Has she ever asked a friend anything unless it leads back to talking about Tori?

[Lablover27]

bhwahahahahahaha.  Tori looked so freaking stupid in her get up.   Add Tatum.  I would love to watch a lunch with Tatum, Candi, MJ and black winged Tori. 

 

ETA:  At the first winery, did anyone else notice Tori's chin implant?  While she was talking about red wine staining her ugly hair?  Someone, look at it again. 

 

Also, I have no experience with rehab = but does it seem like Tori is driving Dean to just relapse? 

 

Did she ever think this would possibly turn out to have "Save Dean" shirts at a swap meet?

 

Dean, I know what I would tell her when she came home is sell the fucking shit in storage so we can go back to Tahiti and write more nonsense on barf bags. 

Edited December 3, 2014 by Lablover27

[LostControl]

What kind of crap antique store are you going to that sells Smurfs and Cabbagepatch? 'Antique' usually means 100 years old! The place you're at is a tacky garage sale.

[kathybgd]

Oh My GOD! Tori is a freak I tell ya , a FREAK! I was laughing so hard at the fairy get up, and yes, that is clearly all that's left of this fairytale, the dust! She is NUTS! Telling MJ to be careful because her mom will only want to be friendly just to get info on "T'. Yeah that's right Tori, cause your life isn't all out there for everyone to see on this stupid reality show! You know, I watch a whole range of shows and I have been watching Pitbulls & Parolee,s and the contrast of the two main characters of these shows is so as ton ashing! On P&P you have a woman who NEVER EVER thinks of her self, is always busy caring for people and animals. And here you have this bitch who thinks nothing BUT of herself. Guess who's life is more full filling? Guess who is loved by her family and a whole lot others? It ain't this self absorbed twat! Dean needs to get going with CSI , take the kids and run as fast as he can away from this poison!

[Armchair Critic]

Forgot to mention Tori's hacking up a cough for sympathy when Dean walked in the room. If I took a drink every time "migraine" was said I would be sloshed in the first 20 minutes.

[GaT]

Why did Candy bring Tatum O’Neal? Who brings a neighbor who is a complete stranger to the rest of their family to their grandkids birthday party? And what was that whole conversation Tatum had with Dean about what was good for the show? That didn’t sound weird at all, did Tatum think this was going to be her entry into the reality world?

 

Tori speaking about Dean: “He always picks bad people”
Um, Tori, he picked you.

[kitkat343]

 

Is the nanny Laura on Toris personal payroll ? The fuck... she texts Tori to report the goings on in the house? If I were Dean I'd have fired her on the spot. I get she's looking out for the kids but that text about a "chick" was so out of line and meant to stir shit

The nanny was in a pretty awful position - I'm guessing the Spelling nannies are usually vetted and sent by an agency, so the rehab friend is going to set off all kinds of alarms for the regular nanny.  If it turns out that Dean brought a woman he is dating or has a crush on into the house to be a nanny and Tori finds out about it, she is going to punish both Dean and the poor regular nanny.  If Tori has already objected to hiring the girl from rehab twice, the nanny may actually be familiar with the situation, know that Tori would go nuts and blame her and sent the text to try to protect her job.  I don't get the feeling that Tori is the kind of person who suffers in silence, so her household employees probably know all about everything that bothers her.  And I'm pretty sure she'll fire any household employee she thinks is disloyal instantly.    I wouldn't feel comfortable judging the nanny unless I knew her motivations (and working in that household, I hope that all the employees qualify for hazard pay).  Generally mothers hire and fire nannies (and it seems as though Tori handles the micromanaging of the household), so if the nanny has to choose one of them to piss off, Dean would normally be the better choice (unless they get divorced in which case I think it would be much more pleasant to work for Dean than Tori).

[Lucygirl2]

Let me preface this by saying I would never, ever subject myself to a girl's getaway with ol "Poor-Me" Spelling however I would have told her to STFU as soon as the whining began, but then again none of these women are actually friends with Tori, the only person who is is Mehran & he is clearly over it all.

 

WTF was Tatum O'Neal doing there??  Maybe she thought she'd look normal next to Tori... Sorry, Tatum, there is enough crazy to cover you both.  Actually, why invite your mom & your husband's ex-wife if it doesn't do anything but cause you stress?  Your daughter (all your kids for that matter) would appreciate the day so much more if there were less people there but Mommy was actually enjoying the party with her instead of holed up in the bathroom with a phantom migraine, crying about her crown.

 

And because it was the highlight of the episode for me, Hattie was so stinken cute in the beginning, I rewound it & watched her 3x!

[WhoaWhoKnew]

Something weird is going on with Candy and Tatum O'Neal. Candy said Tatum lives down the street from her, but Candy lives in the penthouse of a high rise building, so she really has no neighbors in the traditional sense. Maybe Candy has more than one place? IDK, that just seemed very off to me.

Edited December 3, 2014 by WhoaWhoKnew

[Cosmocrush]

Why did Candy bring Tatum O’Neal? Who brings a neighbor who is a complete stranger to the rest of their family to their grandkids birthday party? And what was that whole conversation Tatum had with Dean about what was good for the show? That didn’t sound weird at all, did Tatum think this was going to be her entry into the reality world?

She's already done that but they called it a "docu-series".   I shamelessly was one of the six people that watched all six or eight episodes on OWN a few years ago because apparently I'll watch anything.  I don't think anyone else watched - not even Oprah, lol.   It was called The O'Neals or something and all about Tatum moving back to LA and working out her relationship with her father.    It was pretty raw.  I have no idea what her relationship with Candy is though.   Weird. 

 

Hattie looks exactly like Candy Gram. 

Edited December 3, 2014 by Cosmocrush

[Cosmocrush]

Is the nanny Laura on Toris personal payroll ? The fuck... she texts Tori to report the goings on in the house? If I were Dean I'd have fired her on the spot. I get she's looking out for the kids but that text about a "chick" was so out of line and meant to stir shit

I don't know, if I was out of town for the first time since my douchebag husband came home from rehab I would want to know who was in my house - especially considering it was a name Tori knew and had vetoed twice already.  

[lorikauai]

Can I just say that I love that the title of this episode is Gone Girl? I guess that makes Tori Amy and I think that's actually a pretty strong comparison.

[LostControl]

CosmoCrush - I think you and I were probably the entire audience for the Tatum / Ryan O'neal show a few years back - if I recall correctly it was on the OWN network and Tatum had a book out at the same time. Yes, I'm a sucker for horrible actresses and their crappy reality shows. Maybe Candy was trying to say "See Tori - if you try hard enough you could move up to bring as great at Tatum"

[RealityCowgirl]

Dean may be a jerk, but he is the better parent by far.  With Tori gone, the household seemed to run fine and the kids were happy.

 

This, I am completely convinced, is the real reason she feels she must play the "Dean can't be left alone* with his own children" card.

(* "Alone" = with at least one nanny.)

[Angeltoes]

Tatum O'Neal is rude. Who is she to come into a stranger's house and bark orders?

Hattie is adorable.

[alexa]

You all have already described all of the weirdness in last night's episode, so I mainly want to nod my head in total agreement!  I just can't believe how awful Tori is, and why on earth she actually wants this show on the air.  If she really think it makes her look good/Dean look bad, she clearly has no idea the fool she is.  Dean is looking totally with it compared to the crazy she brings.  

 

I cannot see why the "friends" didn't just say -- forget it, we tried to take you out for fun, and you dampen the mood every time, and then turn around and go home.  I did appreciate that Courtney wouldn't give up pushing back on Tori...I think she is getting really tired of it and can't quite hold back anymore.  It is sad for Mehran I am sure, because I remember how much fun they used to have together in previous years and now she is just a manic mess.  If she would actually try to deal with her issues I could respect her, but since she just drags everyone down with her while not working on them, I have no respect for her.

[Cosmic Muffin]

Mehran's "You used to get exicited about jewelry." Was jewelry part of her products, the stuff they did together for money that she just dropped in the last year?

 

I know Tori thinks she should do this show to punish Dean, but why is she punishing all their friends (or "friends"), their fans and their (I'm guessing) dwindling audience?

[tabloidlover]

Because she is a huge black hole of narcissism.

Edited December 3, 2014 by tabloidlover

[Neurochick]

This show is so different from other reality shows in that other reality shows pretend that they're not on a reality show, where these folks know they're on one and act accordingly.

 

I wonder who titled this episode, I just read the book and Tori does remind me of Amy in that both women were/are narcissistic nut jobs.  

 

Tatum O' Neal showed up because she knew the cameras would be there and she's trying to remind people that she exists.  If they didn't say who she was, I never would have recognized her.  

 

I can't stand Tori, but I was on her side regarding the babysitter.  Tori probably thought that Dean wanted to sleep with the woman, what she should have been concerned about were her children being with a babysitter who just got out of rehab.  I'm sober almost 30 years and I wouldn't want someone fresh out of rehab to watch four small children, they might not have enough recovery to deal with things.  I wonder if that woman wanted to get on camera and that's why she was there.  She should have been concerned about protecting her anonymity.  

[ghoulina]

Tori and her damn migraines. I swear she was making that shit up, so that - A. She wouldn't have to deal with people she didn't want to deal with and B. She could garner some more attention. Victim status! I really did not think she looked that incapacitated. It's not like she went and laid down. She just huddled in her bedroom with all her sycophants around her, pressing an ice pack to her face. Please. I swear, as soon as she heard Tatum O'Neal was there she felt better and was ready to don her crown again. 

 

But really, why the fuck WAS Tatum there, and who did she think she was telling Dean that Tori should come down because it would look good for the show??? Damn. This mess has no fourth wall and I love it. 

 

Hattie did look adorable, I hope she had a nice party despite all the dramatics. 

 

So, Tori's "girls trip" - leave it to this bitch to suck the fun out of everything, once again. Instead of having fun, everyone now has to deal with Nannie-gate. Although, I have to say I don't think I would be comfortable with some chick Dean met in rehab taking care of my kids! So I was with Tori on that one. But I don't think he was doing anything nefarious. He had her sign a release, for Pete's sake. If he was trying to fool around, he wouldn't BRING her on camera. I'm sure he just bonded with this person and wants to help them out, but he clearly didn't think that one through. Bad, bad idea. 

 

I do feel for him, though, because he is damned no matter what he does. If he lets her do everything, then he's just this deadbeat who doesn't care about his kids. If he steps up and tries to be proactive, he's constantly castigated for not doing things the "right" (T) way. How exhausting. 

 

Lastly, Tori, put down the smurfs and step away from the antique store. Who thought it would be a good idea to take that hoarding wench in there????

[Duke2801]

Oh wow I think Mehran is SO over Tori.  Or maybe he's just over T and her  relationship drama.  In any case, the shade he was throwing in his looks alone on the bus - after the whole "rehab friend" drama came to light - were priceless.  

 

Needless to say I am Team Mehran.  Also Team McDermott/Spelling children.  But that's about it.  The rest of them are mostly terrible. 

[iwasish]

I don't know, if I was out of town for the first time since my douchebag husband came home from rehab I would want to know who was in my house - especially considering it was a name Tori knew and had vetoed twice already.  

I totally agree that a buddy from rehab isn't someone I would want  to watch my kids. Tori was going to be gone overnight, the regular nanny was there, Dean was there with the kids. I just don't see why she would text Tori and use that specific word (chick) other than to stir up shit and send Tori off the rails (mission accomplished). Even if Dean "hired" her, Tori would have put the kibosh on it as soon as she found out. That whole scenario makes no sense, it probably was just a set up for drama on the show. No celebs hire their own nannies without having them vetted by some kind of process for a background check. I call BS on it.

[Lucygirl2]

I just wish for the love of all that is holy, Tori would stop bleaching her fucken hair  It looks like total shit & would look so much nicer brown... she needs to start all over with a brown pixie cut.

[Lesia]

"So when my children ask, "why didn't you bring home the Smurf bus, mommy?" I'll tell them you wouldn't let me..."

 

WTF?

[Primetimer]

Tori's parenting-control issues ruin a girls' weekend and Tatum O'Neal is kind of a sketchball on the latest True Tori.

Read the story

[TheRealT]

I thought it was awesomely hilarious that Candy brought Tatum O'Neal to the party. I figure that she brought the most random person she could think of because she knew it was going to be a clusterfuck dramafest no matter what she did, so she might as well have some fun with it. Apart from that, I didn't think it was necessarily so weird that she brought a friend. It wasn't a normal 3-year-old's birthday party with just family and other kids; it looked to be a pretty elaborate affair with a lot of adults in attendance. Given how hostile Tori is toward her mom, I can see how Candy would be more comfortable bringing a friend. The friend being Tatum O'Neal, who acted loony and took off her clothes, just matched the whatthefuckery of Tori's life/this show. Candy should bring a different random guest star to every party from now on- Richard Simmons, Gavin McLeod, Diahann Caroll- the possibilities are limitless!

[jennylauren123]

So it's weird enough that T put on those crazy lashes, wings, and makeup for the party, but when she left them on afterward? Yeah, she is definitely gone, girl!

 

I wish we could have read Mary Jo's thoughts when they were chatting, and Tori said that Candy-gram will try to get info out of Mary Jo. Sheesh. Talk about self-centered and self-important. 

 

Also, no sympathy for the cryfest at Wexler's. At all. Tori, you were sheltered, fed, educated, and were not beaten, as far as we know. And you enjoyed a fabulous lifestyle, a spot on a hit TV show, and an $800,000 payday. I often think of this quote: "Life is hard. For all of us." Time to backburner yourself and put the kids front and damn center.

Edited December 3, 2014 by jennylauren123

[henrysmom]

Candy should bring a different random guest star to every party from now on- Richard Simmons, Gavin McLeod, Diahann Caroll- the possibilities are limitless!

 

 

There you go...random guest stars from the Love Boat or Fantasy Island.  A little tribute to Aaron Spelling.

 

I have to wonder if actual working actors realize the damage reality shows can do to their careers?  I would assume most of them think it is a great way to kickstart a stalled career, or a way to tell "their side of the story".  But I can't think of a case where it didn't make me actually like the actor less.

 

Tori is a case in point.  I never watched 90210--I was a bit too old for it when it came out.  But I loved So Notorious and thought it was an intelligently written and incredibly funny look at "Tori's" life--I put her name in quotes because it was supposed to be a take on what people thought her life was like, not what it actually was.  And because of that show I really liked Tori.  She came off as a bit spoiled, but (in a clueless sort of way) grounded.

 

Even after the whole Dean/Mary Jo/Charlie affair meltdown, I still didn't hate her.  I read her first book and found it fairly amusing, and watched the first reality show with the bed and breakfast.  But with each trip back to the reality show well, I just lost any respect or liking I had for Tori.  And this show...wow.  I just can't take it anymore.