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Small Talk: Behavioral Gabbing Unit


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Sorry about the dumping. A little advice from someone who's been around a long time? Enjoy just being by yourself for a while, make new friends and keep up with good old ones. Eventually, someone cool will find you and will have a mutual passion. But it's not really something you can hunt for.

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5 hours ago, normasm said:

Sorry about the dumping. A little advice from someone who's been around a long time? Enjoy just being by yourself for a while, make new friends and keep up with good old ones. Eventually, someone cool will find you and will have a mutual passion. But it's not really something you can hunt for.

My great grandmother, Margaret was a bitter old bitch about everything. I'm turning into her right now and I'm only 20. 

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Well, that's a choice (holding onto bitterness until it turns to bitterness), certainly after the initial sting wears off, which may not have happened yet. Try to hold your mind open to the extent that you can consider he wasn't right for you, and that you will be glad at some point in the future that you aren't with him! Since he obviously doesn't get you, you are now free, available if someone who does comes along. Use the time wisely between now and then. 

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Norm is right, HG.  How you experience your life is going to be determined entirely by you.  Things will happen, for good or for ill, but what you let them do to you, and whether or not you move forward, will be your choice.  But sometimes you are too close to something, to take in the whole of it.  Let some time pass, and look back.  Perspective is a great teacher.

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2 minutes ago, JMO said:

Norm is right, HG.  How you experience your life is going to be determined entirely by you.  Things will happen, for good or for ill, but what you let them do to you, and whether or not you move forward, will be your choice.  But sometimes you are too close to something, to take in the whole of it.  Let some time pass, and look back.  Perspective is a great teacher.

We were really close. Thing is, he dumped me three days after I spent a weekend with him in his hometown!! ????

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It will sting for a good while, and it may not feel like it will ever get better. All you can do is put one foot in front of the other, take care of your reponsibilities, and grow away from it.  You won't even realize when the sting fades, until you're already there.

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58 minutes ago, JMO said:

It will sting for a good while, and it may not feel like it will ever get better. All you can do is put one foot in front of the other, take care of your reponsibilities, and grow away from it.  You won't even realize when the sting fades, until you're already there.

I want sweet revenge. That will happen 2'years from now when I'm in a happy, stable relationship and he'll get his life together and he comes crawling back. Just one problem. I'll be dating again. Grandma told me to let everyone know when I get back to university what happened. 

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Revenge for what? Him not appreciating you or loving you? There will come a day, if you stay open to it, when you will be so glad he realized you weren't the one for him, because you will have gone on to be awesome, and someone else found you who appreciates you! I know it's hard, but try and let it go. Or, say to yourself that the best revenge is to be happy anyway, and work toward that.

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20 minutes ago, normasm said:

Revenge for what? Him not appreciating you or loving you? There will come a day, if you stay open to it, when you will be so glad he realized you weren't the one for him, because you will have gone on to be awesome, and someone else found you who appreciates you! I know it's hard, but try and let it go. Or, say to yourself that the best revenge is to be happy anyway, and work toward that.

Two years from now, he'll get his life together and come crawling back. Only, I'll be with someone who won't waste my time and will fight for me. My whole weekend up there was a waste. He wasted my time and he knew what he was doing. I'm angry that he wasted my time. I guess i know he wasn't the right one. Three months and we never got past chaste kissing and hand holding. And at age 24, he still had to ask his mommy for permission to do anything. Oh, and we never did anything he said we were gonna do. 

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You are so young, and he was a first for a lot of things, but, he's not for you, so count yourself lucky he's gone. Get rid of the illusion you're holding onto that LOVE will sweep you off your feet and make life worth living - it won't! He won't come crawling back most likely, because he's either sure you aren't the one for him, or he's so embarrassed he made a mistake, he wouldn't dare come back. Men are different from women, for whatever reason. Don't hate him, he's just a man. A few years ago, i looked up my first boyfriend who kicked me to the curb. He was a high-placed military guy by this time, married, probably with kids. I looked at pictures of him and got to read a bit about him, and I would never have been a good mate for him. Never. I found someone, who I'm still with and is the love of my life, and I no longer even think of him, except as the growth period he represented. 

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6 minutes ago, normasm said:

You are so young, and he was a first for a lot of things, but, he's not for you, so count yourself lucky he's gone. Get rid of the illusion you're holding onto that LOVE will sweep you off your feet and make life worth living - it won't! He won't come crawling back most likely, because he's either sure you aren't the one for him, or he's so embarrassed he made a mistake, he wouldn't dare come back. Men are different from women, for whatever reason. Don't hate him, he's just a man. A few years ago, i looked up my first boyfriend who kicked me to the curb. He was a high-placed military guy by this time, married, probably with kids. I looked at pictures of him and got to read a bit about him, and I would never have been a good mate for him. Never. I found someone, who I'm still with and is the love of my life, and I no longer even think of him, except as the growth period he represented. 

I don't hate him. I still want to be friends with him. He just hurt me and I can't help thinking i was used. We NEVER did anything, in hindsight. He NEVER once took me to a movie, or dinner. We were SUPPOSED to have our time together in the city on Saturday. The next one, I'll make damn sure he knows what he wants and that he'll put in effort. And I'll be more cautious about visiting him. It's getting to the point where everything reminds me of him. How'd you meet your husband?

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At work. It was weird, but good. We liked a lot of the same things, and I really thought and still think he's a genius. Not the IQ kind, although he's plenty smart, but the person who somehow understands that this life is finite and special, and he wants to have a good one. Life, that is.

I wish for you to find someone you love so much that, even when the romance part dims, he is still your all, your best friend. Life ain't perfect, honey, and we are so lucky if we find someone we love who loves us, and not the romance novel way,the stayingwithyouinyourhospitalroomwhileyoupukeyourgutsoutaftersurgery way, that means the world.

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19 minutes ago, normasm said:

At work. It was weird, but good. We liked a lot of the same things, and I really thought and still think he's a genius. Not the IQ kind, although he's plenty smart, but the person who somehow understands that this life is finite and special, and he wants to have a good one. Life, that is.

I wish for you to find someone you love so much that, even when the romance part dims, he is still your all, your best friend. Life ain't perfect, honey, and we are so lucky if we find someone we love who loves us, and not the romance novel way,the stayingwithyouinyourhospitalroomwhileyoupukeyourgutsoutaftersurgery way, that means the world.

I thought we had a lot in common. We're both fluent in Spanish and accomplished musicians. I want someone with whom I can have the passion and intensity with and when that dies down, I want him to love me enough to hold my hair when i vomit. We never got to that stage. These days, it's either all passion, which isn't very healthy, or nothing at all. 

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Posting this here as I cannot really see any other thread that might suit.  Admins if it is not suitably placed, do your thing!

There might be no interest in this comment but just thought I would share, just in case.

Here we go - I was back in my adoptive home of Toronto last week for a family social occasion.  My former inlaws (still friendly) have worked in the TV and Movie industry (crew) for many years.  Not all of them and predominantly in Canada, so its not unusual to have lots of film crew people at social events.  So like I said, we had an event last week.  It was quite a subdued occasion though as it happened on the Saturday after the awful hockey coach accident. I'm sure most of you have heard about that.  Like pretty much all Canadians, the guests at this event are hockey crazy and so it hit everyone really really hard. So sad.   

Despite this the event went on and over the course of the evening I and my partner found ourselves in a group of guests who were all crew of some sort.  We knew some, others only just meeting.  One of those in the group, the partner of another guest was chatting with some of our friends about various productions they had worked on throughout the US.  Lots of well known shows, but you can imagine how my ears perked up when I heard the words 'Criminal Minds' mentioned.

Much as I wanted to whisk them off to a quiet part of the room and get everything possible out of them, I talked myself out of that.....!  So again setting the scene - whole bunch of crew folk, discussing business, the business, actors....and me, trying subtlely to get info on one show in particular without seeming like a crazy pyscho fan, while trying to disuade the various other guests who kept trying to distract me and trying to block out loud not so good music...!

Most of what was discussed and again I was an outsider of sorts in the conversation, was about crew stuff, but I did manage to get a few little bits about CM.  

I'm going to put the few little points that I think might be of most interest to people here, or of course might be of no interest.

So my understanding was that this person worked on CM as a free lance crew member, something which is not unsual. I dont want to mention what particular department they were in, but it was crew..

The bad news to start with is that they have not worked on set for a few seasons and although still in contact with colleagues on set, have absolutely no informtion on the upcoming finale and whether or not the show is being renewed.  Dont think they would have told me anyway.  They joked that it was "more than their job was worth".

So if you are still with me, here are a few more bits.

- worked primarily upto S8 and occasionally upto S10.  Also worked on a few BB episodes

- Knows Daniel Henney from BB but did not really know AR.  Met Aisha through a friend who worked on her movie 'Axis'.  

- seemed to enjoy earlier seasons much more and mentioned some of the older crew eg Bernero and how "the ship was run" 

- favorite episode they worked on was '100', because it was such a "full on team" episode and by team they included crew as well.  Was disapointed but not suprised that TG (used a nickname) did not get Emmy for episode.  Not surprised because of how "CM was constantly s**t on by networks".  Welll, we know that to be true!

- Other favorite episodes, had a few. Mentioned 'Lessons Learned'.  

- Loves MGG "genuinely crazy talented kid".  Seemed to be good friends. Share similar likes of movies and mentioned that they are looking at working on something with MGG sometime in the future. I did not get the impression that it was imminent just something that might happen.  In fact, this person reminded me a little of MGG.  Obviously I've never met MGG but from what I've seen in interviews and the like. I could see how they might have similar tastes in stuff.

- Yes Shemar was alway late. "he drove everyone crazy more than once".. Wasnt said with any sort of malice thought and complimented Shemar. He does "fun parties".  Mentioned they had worked on a couple of epiosdes of SWAT. directed by Larry Teng who is a "cool guy".

- Met Thomas and one of his sons in LA a few weeks ago and they and some other CM crew had lunch.  Did not say who, just "some of the guys". Mentioned Thomas had new show in the works and said they knew some of the crew working on it.  Really does seem like the business is quite small despite how many work in it.  

- Obviously on  mention of Thomas I was keen to see if I could get any sort of comment on what happened.  I did not want to just come out with it although maybe I should have.  Not much was said except that they were not working on CM at that time.  Unfortunately at this point some other people distracted me much to my annoyance.  They were relaying the story to some of the others at the table who obviously were not aware of it.  I only managed to get partical comments but what I did hear was "total f**kup", "pi**ed off" and "Gubler".  The next comment made intrigued me.  They said something like "my phone has a T in contacts.  The V's are empty and in no rush to change that".  I certainly got the impression that they were in touch and friendly with Thomas. Actually rarely referred to him by his name, rather a nickname.  So that was interesting.  Personally I have always always felt that things were not quite as cut and dry as bosses wanted us to believe, for lots of reasons.  It is what it is now and there is no going back so I guess no point going over it.  CM has moved on and hopefully Thomas can with his new show. 

- spoke well of all the actors except one.  Did not go into details and did not mention a name but I think I am pretty sure who they were referring to.  A former actor who they described as "a piece of work", and has no desire to work with any time soon. At least one other person at the table concurred. 

- tried again to see if I could get any news as to whether or not there would be a renewal.  No luck, but chat among crew at table seemed to suggest that "good crew would always get work".  I think that is probably true in that its probably easier for crew to get another job, not nessesarily a series, but at least a job, than it is for an actor. 

 

There were other bits and pieces mentioned but these were the main points I got which I thought might be of interest.  Like I said, most of the chat was crew chat and other stuff I could not really hear clearly.   

Sorry for the really long and probably boring post, but thought I should keep it in one.  

Here is hoping for an exciting finale and it would be nice to get a renewal and 300.  If I am totally honest, I would prefer '300' was the orginal team.  It just will not feel right any other way but it is what it is. If the writing is decent, it might help get over that. 

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Ooh, neat story! Thanks for sharing that, @mefein! That's really cool. I think we'd all be that "crazy psycho fan" in that kind of situation, LOL. 

I'm glad to hear their memories and discussions of CM and the cast/crew are positive overall, to the point where they're still in contact with some of the people on the show. Not surprising, really, 'cause the cast and crew really do seem lovely as a whole, but it's just nice to have that confirmation all the same :). I chuckled at the rant about how the show always got "sh*t on by networks". Sad but true. Whatever one's feelings about the procedural genre as a whole, or the content of this particular show, I agree that they've had some very talented people both in the main cast and elsewhere on the show over its run, and it's a shame they haven't been given more recognition for their work and whatnot. 

And I echo your sentiments about an exciting finale and renewal news soon. It'd be awesome if they could find a way to bring back some former cast members for the 300th episode, but heck, I'll just be happy if this current crew gets to the season premiere without any cast shuffling or other network interference :p. 

That's pretty cool about your family's entertainment connections, too. I don't doubt they have lots of fascinating stories, good and bad, worth sharing about various shows in general.

Also, condolences to all of you in Canada re: that tragic accident that happened recently. It sounds like the country's been banding together through all of that, so that's good to see, and I hope the support brings some peace and comfort to all affected. 

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18 hours ago, Annber03 said:

Ooh, neat story! Thanks for sharing that, @mefein! That's really cool. I think we'd all be that "crazy psycho fan" in that kind of situation, LOL. 

I'm glad to hear their memories and discussions of CM and the cast/crew are positive overall, to the point where they're still in contact with some of the people on the show. Not surprising, really, 'cause the cast and crew really do seem lovely as a whole, but it's just nice to have that confirmation all the same :). I chuckled at the rant about how the show always got "sh*t on by networks". Sad but true. Whatever one's feelings about the procedural genre as a whole, or the content of this particular show, I agree that they've had some very talented people both in the main cast and elsewhere on the show over its run, and it's a shame they haven't been given more recognition for their work and whatnot. 

And I echo your sentiments about an exciting finale and renewal news soon. It'd be awesome if they could find a way to bring back some former cast members for the 300th episode, but heck, I'll just be happy if this current crew gets to the season premiere without any cast shuffling or other network interference :p. 

That's pretty cool about your family's entertainment connections, too. I don't doubt they have lots of fascinating stories, good and bad, worth sharing about various shows in general.

Also, condolences to all of you in Canada re: that tragic accident that happened recently. It sounds like the country's been banding together through all of that, so that's good to see, and I hope the support brings some peace and comfort to all affected. 

Hi Annber03,

Yes it took great restraint not to tell others at the table to shush, I needed CM gossip!  I just heard today that there is another similar event coming up in about 3 months.  If I meet them again, I'm loosing the restraints!!

Its my ex - SIL, her husband and some of his family who have the industry connections.  When we met regularly (thankfully still friends), there were many great stories shared. It is only in the last few years that they have started working on movies and drama shows, mainly in Vancouver.  Before that they worked primarily on documentaries and alot on wildlife shows.  My SIL actually worked on a number of Sir David Attenbouroughs amazing pieces and she would often let us see uncut footage and BTS footage of them setting up scenes with animals, which was amazing.  She went to so many amazing places and yes, I wanted to steal her identity and go in her place. :)

Yes, when they made that comment about the show being s**t on, I nodded so hard in agreement.  How many times in seasons past have we lamented about the lack of promotion, lack of any sort of recognition, so yes, it rang true.  I really do believe if there had not been such a strong cast and committed crew, it probably would not have made it to even S6. 

As I said, I would love to have had exclusive chat but they were mainly talking shop with others at the table with me, probably annoyingly interjecting from time to time.  

Lets see what tonights shows and the next few weeks bring :) 

Thank you for condolences re Hockey accident.  I am not Canadian myself (was married to Canadian), but Canada is my 2nd home and I know all to well how important Hockey is.  It was really touching to see that this event seemed to have an impact across the world.  I had friends in UK and other countries send me pictures of tributes left outside homes, some using sticks, others using something symbolic.  Sad times for sure. 

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Hello all.

 

Again I could not really see a thread that looked like it might be suitable for comment on upcoming season or to discuss the wait for renewal.  I did try opening a new thread but it didnt work out for me so Admins as always, if this is in wrong place, do your thang!!

Wondring what peoples thoughts are on the long wait for news on renewal?  It really seems to be going to the wire this year.  I cannot recall any other season that we were this close to up fronts with renewal still hanging....but I'm open to correction.  My gut is saying yes, they'll get it, but the more I read and look at different factors, the more I feel it might not happen.

Assuming that CBS/ABC would never cancel a show on a cliffhangar and just short of such an iconic episode number, is in my opinion naive.  Theyve done it before and sentimentality rarely wins over the bottom line.

I'm not in anyway as ofey as others here as to how the networks work and the busines side of things, ratings etc, but one thing I've noticed some comment and discussion on, I wanted to put something out there and see what people thought.

 

So I read an article on Variety I think?? about the possibility of CM getting a S14.  This was a few weeks ago so its possible things have significantly changed since then. One of the reasons why this article seemed to give the prospect of 14 a positive spin, was due to the fact that all contracts were in place and so the network "knew how much it would cost". The thing is, I don't know if this is nessesarily as significant as the article suggests and here is why I think that.  

I recall seeing various discussions, articles, interviews etc over the years about how these contracts worked.  I'm talking about individual contracts with specific clauses etc, I'm referring to the basic contract of employment. As far as I am aware, most shows like CM, especially if they are getting on in years, only give the actors 1 yr contracts with an 'option' for another year.  The 1 yr contract would only happen on renewal, while the 'option' would only kick in IF the show was picked up for another season.  I also think that 'option' does not tie the actor in and they could if they wished, choose not to continue even if show was picked up.  

So how does this relate to CM - well if MGG signed last year for S13, with an 'option' for another year, then that does not guarantee in any way, that A. the show will be renewed, or B. that he will be back.  There are other actors that I think are out of contract.  I'm going to assume Paget might be one. Unless she signed till the end of S12 and then when it was renewed last year, got her 1 +1.  If its a case that she or any of the others needs to negotiate, that could be problematic. And much as we might agree with KV and AJ fighting for parity, I do wonder if that could be something that networks might keep in mind.  

I know that CM was very successful around the world and that a lot of money was made via sydicat and international deals.....but, as someone who travel ALOT for work and as a result spends alot of time in hotel rooms in various countries (really not as exciting as it might sound), I have definitely noticed in the last year, that CM definitely seems to have dropped out of what were prime postions. Instead of having channels that could have been described as CM channels, like ION, CM now seems to be an occasional viewing.  Outside of US, the most common repeats of episodes are from the first few seasons. I wonder if this could also be significant in the final decision.

All of this is just musings from myself and I am totally open to correction/debate.

I guess we should know one way or the other by this time next week...surely?

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(edited)

Yes, probably by next week they should announce. Harry Bring ( and others) has said that everyone is signed to do a season 14, so that doesn't seem to be an impediment. I agree with you that TPTB wouldn't just renew for sentimental reasons, they would go to the bottom line. CM has been a solid performer, and the change to the 10 o'clock time slot didn't kill it, so I think it has a good chance. 

They did make us wait till the upfronts one year, several years back, but there were several actors who were not solid re-signs, if I recall correctly. So, yeah, it's a little tense if you want to see 300 and beyond, but the decision has likely already been made, and there is no veiled grumbling anywhere I've seen. 

Edited by normasm
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Hi folks.

Wow, crazy spree on cancellations, renewals, new shows.  I came later in the day and saw lots of activity from ABC.  Really thought we would see something by the end of the day. There seemed to be some shocks for sure.  I dont watch a lot of TV these days mainly due to my work, I'm on the road alot.  So what I do see is usually in catch up and I have not been able to 'get into' a series for some time.  So what I'm saying is that I cant really comment on alot of the shows that were cancelled.  It seems the biggest noise is coming from 'Lucifer', 'Designated Survivor' and 'B99'. On glancing at social media, Lucifer seems to have been more of a shock, while DS had poor numbers but has very vocal fans.  That was just my quick glance observation. 

CBS has done some pickups, apart from the renewals of SWAT and Seal.  No idea how schedules are worked out, so not sure whether or not pickups (Drama) might play into the decsion to renew or not. I think one of CMs biggest problems if you can call it that, is that it that it is co owned. Reading other comments accross various platforms, the commentary was along the lines that essentially ABC made the money on the show while CBS did the work.  Yes I know it is not that simple and for sure CBS have got to be making something, but I guess what the point of the discussion I saw was, that this show is costly and not making money like it did before, so maybe CBS might cut its losses instead of giving another year and possibly loosing revenue. - this is purely speculation and just my observations on commentary on other forums.

I still think it will get a renewal but I'd be less confident that it will stay on Wednesday. Whatever the decision, we've got to know in the next 48 hours....surely. 

I got to be honest, I'm not as invested in it as some of y'all here.  Conflicted might be a better word to use. Yes, I would like to see a renewal even though CM for me now is an occasional viewing, but at the same time, I just cant get behind the idea of such an iconic episode number as 300, with the current cast. Nothing personal towards the actors, its just not CM for me.

One other piece of news I came across over the last few days.  Aisha is going to be hosting a talk show in the fall I think. Unfortuantely I could not link and now cannot rememember where I saw this information. Might have been Variety?? From what I gathered, the premise of the show was womens issues and the show would air after episodes of scripted show that I think has SJParker in it.  I'm gonna try and find that link again as I looked at it very quickly.  I was surprised to read this as I thought Aisha was looking to concentrate on CM.

I'll link if I can find it. 

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I'm not sure where to put this or if anyone will see it, but I'm seeing Mandy Patinkin in concert next month! I'm constantly checking his page hoping for tour dates and it paid off! 

Mandy makes me do funny things. I strongly dislike musical theater, yet I flew cross country to see Mandy in a musical on Broadway; I've been a fan of his since I was about 15 years old along with Axl Rose and Ian Astbury; he sings almost nothing but show tunes, yet I adore him. (I'm also not too terribly familiar with traditional Yiddish music.) 

He truly has the voice of an angel, and was in the best movie of all time. 

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It's Super Bowl week, and, in honour of it, I thought I'd bring something up my brother (a Bucs fan) found on Facebook.

For those who don't know, Tom Brady- arguably the greatest football quarterback of all time- retired just a few weeks ago from the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, one year removed from winning the Super Bowl with them. Which means that now the Bucs are in the market for a new starting quarterback, which won't be easy because you're not going to find another Tom Brady right now, if you ever do.

Predictably, the fans debate and continue to debate about who is next for the Bucs has landed on a few reasonable trade targets, like Jimmy Garoppolo, Aaron Rodgers and Russel Wilson, as well as those who argue that the Bucs' current backup, Kyle Trask, just might be ready for the job, given his youth and the fact he was a standout at the University of Florida.

Of course, as is usual for these discussions, there are always a few who go way out in left field, and then some who go further than that. Like this fan who came up with a name that may raise a few eyebrows around these parts...

JoeMantegnaTBQBScreenshotSM.thumb.png.3643dd72bb6894d95720307fea521538.png

Well, wouldn't it be something if David Rossi traded his profiling slacks for a pair of cleats and became the Bucs' starting quarterback? I mean, if Rossi has been deemed good enough to still be out on the field chasing bad guys at the age of 74, then I guess anything is possible...

Yeah, I'm sure this fan really meant to write Joe Montana (who, despite his pedigree, at 65 he is probably as good a bet to play NFL quarterback as Joe Mantegna is) but the fan's momentary typo sure brought a thought or two in my mind.

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My brother and his wife are expecting a baby boy at the end of August. Both of them had been hoping for a girl so they had girls’ names picked out already, but nothing for a boy. 

I’ve been asked to think of names, so I suggested Reid, and was vetoed. Gideon also got a hard no. The names they like? Cyrus. Nathan. Tobias. 

They literally only like the names of UNSUBs. (To be fair Nathan Harris wasn’t an actual UNSUB but he could have become one. RIP, Anton Yelchin.)

Maybe I’ll suggest George, Peter and Everett for them to consider. 

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LOL, now you know how Hotch felt when he was trying to pick out a name for Jack :p. 

I do like the name Nathan, though. That one's nice. Hope you're all able to figure out a name that works for everyone. Congrats to your brother and his wife, hope all goes well with the pregnancy and such :)!

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1 hour ago, Annber03 said:

LOL, now you know how Hotch felt when he was trying to pick out a name for Jack :p. 

I do like the name Nathan, though. That one's nice. Hope you're all able to figure out a name that works for everyone. Congrats to your brother and his wife, hope all goes well with the pregnancy and such :)!

Thank you so much! Our city is getting hit pretty hard by omicron (while the rest of the world has moved on, how embarrassing) and my SIL is struggling over whether or not to get the booster. She has to weigh the increased risk of miscarriage against potential complications of getting Covid. It’s tough. 
 

Hotch has a much easier last name to deal with! Ours is a one-syllable Chinese last name that is forever mispronounced. On top of that, the name has to be pronounceable by the grandparents, whose first language is not English. We all loved Lorelai for a girl but that was ruled out because none of the grandparents would be able say it properly. 

Nathan is a top contender at the moment, though I prefer Nathaniel. Either way, I could call him Nate the Great ;) 

Edited by idiotwaltz
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3 hours ago, idiotwaltz said:

Our city is getting hit pretty hard by omicron (while the rest of the world has moved on, how embarrassing) and my SIL is struggling over whether or not to get the booster. She has to weigh the increased risk of miscarriage against potential complications of getting Covid. It’s tough. 

Hopefully things in your city turn for the better soon. I don't want to start debates, but my vantage point is that COVID-19 is here to stay and there's no way we're ever going to get rid of it. The sooner we realize that, the better. This isn't defeatist, and I'm not saying "there's no more problem anymore"- I simply think we, as a society, need to be more realistic about dealing with it. The flu and the over 200 other respiratory viruses hit our society pretty hard but we can manage them without disruptive measures (ones the public simply ignore after a while). There's no reason why that can't happen with COVID-19.

As far as the booster is concerned, I've heard nothing about it causing complications with pregnancies and maybe it's a good idea to get it if you are pregnant (since pregnancy hampers the body's immune response). Of course, I am not a doctor, so I can't give you a firm recommendation one way or the other.

4 hours ago, idiotwaltz said:

Ours is a one-syllable Chinese last name that is forever mispronounced. On top of that, the name has to be pronounceable by the grandparents, whose first language is not English. We all loved Lorelai for a girl but that was ruled out because none of the grandparents would be able say it properly. 

Correct me if I'm wrong, but I understand that Chinese naming conventions require that both the first and last names have some kind of "meaning" when they're put together (e.g., the full name eventually becomes "a golden flower"). Plus I understand where you emphasize the syllable can completely change the meaning of the name.

So I understand the issue. What about having a Chinese and an English name, or is that not an option?

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(edited)

Thank you, Daniel. I tend to agree with your view on Covid, but the parts where I’m from are still insistent on a zero-tolerance approach, so we’re pretty much doomed.  

There have been local reports about women miscarrying after getting the vaccine. My SIL’s OBGYN had a patient who lost her baby this way. It could well have been sheer misfortune, but it’s hard not to have that worry hanging over her head. SIL has already had two doses of Pfizer so it’s really just whether or not to get the booster now. 

Naming conventions differ depending on the family, I think. In the past, people did  tend to choose names with characters that have an auspicious meaning - fortune, joy, wisdom, etc. My generation is more about how the name sounds over meaning, resulting in some trendy names that are overpopulating playgrounds. Think the Chinese version of Olivia and Liam. Then there’s a bunch of people who will hire Feng Shui masters to come up with a perfect name based on the baby’s date and hour of birth. 

Yep, my nephew will have a Chinese name and an English name. The birth certificate will likely state both names. In fact, my legal name in English does not contain a transliteration of my Chinese name, which made my life growing up in North America infinitely easier. I do have my Chinese name (in Chinese characters) on locally issued ID documents but I use my English name on a day-to-day basis. Only family and very close friends would use my Chinese name. My Chinese name is definitely more “me”. I have a very uncommon Chinese name that nobody, not even native Chinese speakers, knows how to pronounce, but I also have a super popular 1980’s English first name (not quite Jennifer or Sarah, but close) so it works out evenly. 

Daniel, you’ll probably like this. In Zoe’s Reprise, Rossi says my last name, albeit incorrectly :) 

1 minute ago, idiotwaltz said:

Thank you, Daniel. I tend to agree with your view on Covid, but the parts where I’m from are still insistent on a zero-tolerance approach, so we’re pretty much doomed.  

There have been local reports about women miscarrying after getting the vaccine. My SIL’s OBGYN had a patient who lost her baby this way. It could well have been sheer misfortune, but it’s hard not to have that worry hanging over her head. SIL has already had two doses of Pfizer so it’s really just whether or not to get the booster now. 

Naming conventions differ depending on the family, I think. In the past, people did  tend to choose names with characters that have an auspicious meaning - fortune, joy, wisdom, etc. My generation is more about how the name sounds over meaning, resulting in some trendy names that are overpopulating playgrounds. Think the Chinese version of Olivia and Liam. Then there’s a bunch of people who will hire Feng Shui masters to come up with a perfect name based on the baby’s date and hour of birth. 

Yep, my nephew will have a Chinese name and an English name. The birth certificate will likely state both names. In fact, my legal name in English does not contain a transliteration of my Chinese name, which made my life growing up in North America infinitely easier. I do have my Chinese name (in Chinese characters) on locally issued ID documents but I use my English name on a day-to-day basis. Only family and very close friends would use my Chinese name. My Chinese name is definitely more “me”. I have a very uncommon Chinese name that nobody, not even native Chinese speakers, knows how to pronounce, but I also have a super popular 1980’s English first name (not quite Jennifer or Sarah, but close) so it works out evenly. 

Daniel, you’ll probably like this. In Zoe’s Reprise, Rossi says my last name, albeit incorrectly :)

Edited by idiotwaltz
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Congratulations on the new nephew coming, Idiotwaltz, and thanks for the laugh on the serial killer name list!  I'm sure he will bring new honor to whichever name they choose.

I feel for your SIL in making her decision about getting boosted, especially if her physician is discouraging her.  If it helps to know, there have been multiple large studies now that show that there is no increased risk of miscarriage over baseline with the Covid vaccine.  At least one study even showed the risk to be lower with the vaccine.  At least she's had the first two doses.  Though, if omicron is skyrocketing in that area, a booster will give her the best chance of avoiding it.  It will also provide antibodies to the babe afterward. 

 

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I’m happy to share the news of my nephew’s arrival on September 6. His parents settled on Nathaniel, which albeit is not the name of an UNSUB on CM that immediately comes to my mind, does happen to be the name of a suspected cannibalistic serial killer in real life. His Chinese name means “learned scholar”. We’re trying to keep his options open. 

Hope everyone is well. 

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Congratulations on the new nephew idiotwaltz. Nathaniel is a lovely and classic name. I like it.

I have some bad news. I lost my job a few weeks ago. The company I was working for lost 11 clients and two sources of funding so they had to lay off some people, one of them being me. My boss actually cried when she was told she had to get rid of me.

Money isn't a huge concern right now. I do have quite a bit saved up. And I contacted a temp agency I've worked with before, and they're looking for some temp work for me in the interim.

However, having time off gave me a chance to clean and organize my apartment a bit, go to the gym more often, walk around my neighborhood, and read lots of good books!

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Sorry to hear about your job, Bookie, but I'm in awe of your attitude!  Here's hoping it's just a short pause (because it sounds like your boss loves you!) or maybe an opportunity in disguise, leading to something new and exciting.    

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Yeah, I'm sorry, too, @Bookish Jen. I'm glad that you have some money saved away for the time being to tide you over, at least, and that you've got some potential temp possibilities in the meantime. Hopefully you'll find a new job as soon as possible. 

In the meantime, yay for having some free time to do some fun things :)!

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