S02.E06: Raw Nerves

[Lisin]

Tori and Dean take steps to get their professional and personal lives back on track.

[4leafclover]

Too little too late?

[Brooklynista]

^^ 

 

Too little too late?

 

Too little, too please don't damn bother.

[Lucygirl2]

It can't be said enough I can't stand Tori, she is a complete micro-managing bitch who sees a mountain in every molehill.

Tori & I aren't horribly far apart in age, I'm a year or so older & I no longer have small children (mine is a 20 year old college junior) but I feel like we are worlds apart.

Tori can have every surgery she needs & she will never be healthy...

[Cosmic Muffin]

Tori is stressed because she can't ever stop watching all the kids because Dean can't or won't, so she can't go on vacation, blah, blah, blah - who just spent two weeks in the hospital and was angry Dean didn't spend his nights there? She sucks as a person and as a parent. Oh, and as a spouse too, but so does he. 

[Straycat80]

Am I a bad person because I was hoping the praying mantis would have pooped on Tori's head? Or poked her in the eye? I'm sorry but I just can't take this show seriously at all.

[nolieblue]

How is it that recovering addict and cheater Dean comes off as so much more emotionally healthy and mature than Tori?

Edited November 26, 2014 by nolieblue

[BostonBlonde]

It can't be said enough I can't stand Tori, she is a complete micro-managing bitch who sees a mountain in every molehill.

Tori & I aren't horribly far apart in age, I'm a year or so older & I no longer have small children (mine is a 20 year old college junior) but I feel like we are worlds apart.

Tori can have every surgery she needs & she will never be healthy...

I'm her age as well & like you, my kids are grown. I cant relate with her madness either...

Edited November 26, 2014 by BostonBlonde

[CodenameV]

So what I've learned is Dean is a terrible parent for staying home with Finn (who is usually in preschool, so I'm assuming he's home sick) and sent the nanny to go get the other kids because Tori expects him to always get the kids. Yeah, okay. The little accident with Hattie was nothing to be worried over and parents have made mistakes and Tori is all "This shows Dean isn't as invested in the kids as me because I always know where the kids are", all while Finn is to her back and wandering around by himself (though Dean is facing him). Also that nine months ago remark was bullshit. He's sober now, right Tori? He is capable of watching the kids without you. Besides, she claims she's so for the kids and never takes time for herself, yet she is always out with friends shopping or eating without (or with one in tow). 

 

You can so tell when she heard that woman's husband is a stay at home dad, she totally got the idea that Dean should want to be too. However, she also wants him to work all the time while being with her and the kids all the time. No man can do that! 

 

Honestly? She's looking for any excuse at this point to end the marriage without actually doing it. Or setting it up that she'll look like a "victim" by Dean was so horrible to her and the kids despite bending over backwards and more for her. I'm usually never Team Dean, but I want him to initiate  the divorce and take the kids.

 

It's great to see Mehran, Courtney, Jenny, and Wolf getting annoyed at Tori's hysterics on their own interviews, but they need to say it to her face, The fact that they can see she's being unrealistic with Dean is telling. Tell her to her face!

[Cosmic Muffin]

Even Dr. W told Tori some stuff she didn't want to hear in this episode! This show is her creation, and she comes off so badly. Every week. She finds new lows. For me it has had the opposite effect that she intended; Dean seems saner and more sympathetic. I also think he should take the kids and leave.

 

Any chance that the two week hospital stay was for breast surgery? 

[CodenameV]

Any chance that the two week hospital stay was for breast surgery? 

 

Usually you're not in for long with breast surgery. I believe my mother was out in a day, or was same day. The again. Tori is such a drama queen she would stay extra. Or she also had that "internal damage" corrected at the same time, which if I remember from her last book, was scar tissue on her stomach. 

 

Interesting tidbit. Tori posted a picture of her and Courtney on her Instagram (i follow it, idk why lol), and linked it back to Courtney's. Wouldn't you know it? Courtney is a makeup artist! The story we were told was she was a mother at Liam and Stella's school she got friendly with! Now, it is possible that's true, but with everyone wearing the same shade of lipstick (because I bet Tori dictated it), it's apparent she's Tori's new makeup artist friend who does all her makeup for the show/events. She does have kids, but I seriously think the mom angle was to show that Tori is way involved in her kids schooling (though Dean picks the kids up all the time). What ever happened to Brandi, her bestest makeup friend whom she was a bridesmaid/wedding planner for?

 

Her lies are all coming apart on the show and off. 

Edited November 26, 2014 by CodenameV

[Straycat80]

Tori is such a pill. So it was OK for Dean to be home with the kids during all her extended hospital stays? It's OK for Dean to be with the kids while she's out meeting with her ex, his ex, therapy, anything having to do with herself . Now all of a sudden she doesn't trust him with the kids and nit picks about not picking up one kid from school and accidentally hitting Hattie Cat in the head with a pumpkin? BTW that child was fine, she barely cried at all and got over it quickly .

I'm not team Dean but I think he should divorce this nut case, take the kids and run before she drives him insane.

[Thula]

So thaaaaaats why she was 'hospitalized' several weeks ago....gettin the antique implants removed. Much more histrionic to dress it up as Ebola/pneumonia/migraine.

Tori and Dean have a staff of nannies. I doubt either of them have had to take care of their brood without help for more than a week, EVER. in Tori's mind, she manages the nannies and kid schedules so she feels like she's doing the heavy lifting. dean is laying back and enjoying having a full time staff to tend to the more tedious aspects of parenting young kids and he'll swoop in from time to time to make the kids s'mores for breakfast or pull them out of school for an entire day for a haircut because he's fun Dad.

This guy coasted through life on charm and smarm and basic cable-leading-man good looks. If he gave a crap about his career, he would hit the treadmill, cover up those gawdawful sleeve tattoos (not hating, he got them all done after 40 ) and step away from the bottle. his face is bright purple like he's still hitting the booze.

Edited November 26, 2014 by Thula

[JasminePhyllisia]

Dean gets a call from his agent that he got the CSI booking on his home phone land line, not his cell, and he just happens to be standing idly near it with a camera crew when the call comes. Ok.

[kathybgd]

Thula, your probably absolutely right about what each does, but if I have to pick sides (I know I don't have to). I would go to Deans. The kids do seem to have that bond with him, and he is more relaxed around them. Tori has ruined herself doing this show! She is the most shellfish pos monster wife, friend and mom I have ever watched.

[Darknight]

Okay. I'm actually watching this bullshit. Tori just needs to go. She's complains to much. She's mad because Dean won't stay home with the kids? Tori wtf?? Aren't you home. You can take care of the kids. Then in therapy she wants to play poor me. Dean actually comes more mature than Tori. He's also the better parent than her. My god he can't win. Dean just divorce her. Tori get some help

[AmyFarrahFowler]

How is it that recovering addict and cheater Dean comes off as so much more emotionally healthy and mature than Tori?

 

Because he is an actor. He's just good at making himself look better when the cameras are around. Oh that and the fact that he's married to a self absorbed nut job.

 

I do love their kids though! Does anyone else think Liam and Finn resemble their Uncle Randy?

Edited November 26, 2014 by AmyFarrahFowler

[GaT]

I LMAO at Tori & the praying mantis

 

People have been making fun of her dented boobs for years, I can’t believe she knew they were recalled & didn’t do anything about them, they look horrible & apparently they're rock hard. I thought it was cute that Dean said he would love the hell out of her pancake boobs. Of course Tori had to sigh & say "I hope someday I can trust him again"

 

Tori expects Dean to never leave the house but make a good living that supports them all. I guess we now know where the whole Gourmet Dad crap came from.

“I don’t want to make you look bad to the viewers” Fucking Tori

 

Hattie wearing her pink fairy costume in the previews was sooo cute.

[kelm]

I only saw the pumpkin patch fiasco, so far.

Did Tori really freak out because the pumpkin hit the kid's soft spot?! Really?!

She's just... BAER

[kathybgd]

I really thought I saw a diiferant, more happier, self confident Dean as soon as he got the news about the CSI gig. And then he went upstairs to the dark doom and gloom room with rock tits seeming all wasted , it looked liked daytime. What a life ! Where was her great mothering then? I really think if Dean got back to full time acting (not this reality crap), he would leave this miserable bitch. And I think she knows it and that's what all that 'He doesn't put the kids first' crap is coming from. She IS really trying to make him come off as a really horrible everything, and he's finally catching on.

[ghoulina]

Raw Nerves is right. Cause this heifer is working my last one. 

 

Only Tori would look up the meaning of a random insect finding its way into her yard. Of course, there HAS to be some bigger meaning to it! It can't just be nature, bugs looking for food, anything like that. No. It was to be DEEP. Symbolic. Well, I have a meaning for her. The praying mantis was actually a PREYING mantis, and was symbolic of how she preys on everyone in her life; using them to give her a storyline for her neverending reality show. So there. 

 

Also, how awesome was it that no one would get that damn bug off of her!?!

 

I just can't when she starts whining about how she never goes anywhere. She is entirely full of shit. How many times have we seen her go out to lunch or go shopping without the kids? I can recall several times on this season alone. So spare me. Tori just WANTS to be the victim, the martyr. Perpetually. She will never stop. She HAS to stay home with the kids, because Dean just can't be trusted to. Because, clearly if she isn't there to halfway nuke a potato, it will be Lord of the Flies around that house. 

 

And I just LOVED Dean calling her out, wanting to know WHAT exactly it is that SHE does that is SO much more than what he does??? And how she will do the most basic thing and act like she just moved a mountain. That's what we've been saying all season! She takes her kids to gymnastics, she wants a medal. Makes dinner, a parade should be held in her honor. Plays with them in the pool, and thinks the city should be named after her. I've been watching their shows for years. I've always seen Dean as a pretty involved father. The kids seem to adore him, so I doubt he's some absentee asshole like she's trying to make it. Just because he chooses to ALSO have a life, in addition to parenting, while she doesn't (which is half a lie anyway), why should he suffer so she can play martyr? Ugh, she is exhausting. 

 

So they actually go out on a "date" and they seriously cannot find ANYTHING to talk about other than the kids? I know, as a parent, how easy it is to slip into talking about them. But damn. Nothing? You didn't read any interesting news that day? See a good movie? Heck, even have a political discussion. You don't always have to have everything in common to have a conversation. But clearly, those two have nothing. 

 

And her boob issues....it's just like her mental issues. If she actually deals with it, there's nothing for people to worry over her for. To show concern, pity her. No excuses. She LIKES having all these things wrong with her, because they attract attention. There should be no question about taking that shit out. It is unhealthy and dangerous, period. And, personally, I'd rather have pancake titties than the Franken-bolts she has passing for boobs now. 

 

I actually worry that if Tori DID deal with all of her issues, she'd start giving her kids problems, so she could get attention for that. Her need for negative attention really scares me. And she's so hysterical! That thing at the pumpkin patch....way to make a mountain out of a molehill (or holemill). For her that was a totally "See? Dean IS a horrible parent!" moment. What the fuck is wrong with her? Maybe I'm crazy, but I think any parent could accidentally bonk their kid on the head with a pumpkin. I'm not Britney Spears, but I HAVE accidentally stepped on my kids, bumped them into walls, etc. No one is any worse for it. 

 

Nobody is perfect. Especially you, Queen Tori. 

[ghoulina]

How is it that recovering addict and cheater Dean comes off as so much more emotionally healthy and mature than Tori?

 

Right??? And I find it even more delicious, because I'm convinced she is doing this show to punish Dean. She wants to show the world just what an asshole he really is. And while I don't think he's a real gem or anything, she's ending up looking ten times worse than him and I think a lot of people are actually feeling sorry for HIM. Not her. It just makes me laugh and laugh. Epic fail, Tori. 

[alexa]

Yep, I am definitely on team Dean now.  I think a lot of his issues were probably caused by her and he is finally seeing the light.  He made some great points throughout the episode, and it shows she just reinforced what he was saying.  As said further above, I love how he called her out on how she does one small thing and makes a big to-do about it.  In all of their reality shows, I have always felt that Dean was more active and at ease with the kids, so I can only laugh when she claims she does so much more.  All she does is run around like a neurotic mess and ignores her children most of the time.  

 

Did you see Stella hug her as if she was like saying "hug me too mommy!"  Because Tori continued to give her attention to the younger kids.  And I never see her talk to Liam anymore either...it is pretty much just Finn she pays attention to.  She is very delusional and as everyone has stated, she is only making herself look bad, and making Dean look pretty good at this point.  I am glad he is standing up for himself.

[Neurochick]

I think Tori wants to divorce Dean, it's clear she can't stand him.  She just doesn't want to look like an ass, she doesn't want people to look at her and say, "I told you so."  

 

When Dean cheated on Mary Jo, she probably felt, "How could you do that to our family!"  When Dean cheated on Tori she probably felt, "How could you do that to ME, ME, ME."

[alexa]

Can I add again, why is this show still on?  I thought it was only supposed to be 4 episodes, but it seems there is no end in sight?

[Duke2801]

Can I add again, why is this show still on?  I thought it was only supposed to be 4 episodes, but it seems there is no end in sight?

 

I'm assuming (thought I could be totally wrong) that more episodes = more $$.  So why not stretch it out of they have the footage?

[Primetimer]

Parenting clashes, rogue implants, and squashing the toddlers in truer-than-average True Tori.

Read the story

[Picture It. Sicily]

I hate this show for making me side with dean mcdermott. Good grief, what pain in the patoot tori is.

[Lesia]

I thought it was very sad when Dean said he was asked to join a hockey group with school dads and Tori just knocked that idea down. That is the kind of thing someone in a secure marriage should have NO problem with, and should actually encourage it.

[lizzy07]

It was really uncomfortable watching their friends watch them fight. Yikes!

 

Tori looks downright miserable. The more healthy Dean tries to be, the more she wants to pull him back and have him be miserable along with her. She does not appear to want to move forward and would rather stay put and be stuck wallowing in the misery of the infidelity. I have to say that watching her anxiety snowball made my shoulders tense up. I can only imagine what it does to her kids.

 

And speaking of the kids .. I want Hattie for my very own. SO CUTE!!

[Vixenstud]

Last night’s episode had me clutching my heart more than Fred Sanford! 

 

Tori, you know you are a fucked up individual when MEHRAN tells you to ease back on your husband!  Now, I’ve seen every T&D show, especially Home Sweet Hollywood;  I couldn’t stand Mehi because it always seemed he was on Dean’s ass about something….for him to wish that Tori cut Dean some slack?  Then for Crying Wolf and Jess to be pro-Dean all of a sudden?  Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa?!  And he was pissed at her dramatics instead of talking business with their beautiful partner (I'm not into women but I couldn't stop staring at her).

 

Pumpkingate – Was a crock of shit, and would likely be the last straw for a stronger man.  First of all, ‘Dean isn’t emotionally present for the kids’?  Well where was the ‘overprotective one’ when the pumpkin went boing-yoing-yoing on Hattie Cat’s noggin?!  Shouldn’t she have seen Hattie behind Dean, since she’s so on top of things?  Shit, I’ve stepped on my cat Spookyjuice’s paw a cabillion times due to him following me so closely.  And once she was hit and cried a bit, Hattie Cat was ready to continue pumpkin shopping….she wasn’t unconscious and there was no blood so all that drama was stupid and unnecessary. 

 

As for the 'emotional' way of treating the kids, you can see the difference between when Dean is with the kids (loved him and Liam building the praying mantis box, Liam looked happy) and when she is with them (seems like they are always scrambling for her attention)....she needs to STFU about his parenting skills, he comes off much more loving than she does.

 

The Cake Date  – Dean tried like Dr. Wexler suggested but what does Succubus do?  Not only tells the cake employee they’re doing ‘homework’ (couldn’t say you were on a date night, gotta piss on the event?!), but chastises Dean for looking at her cake and when he tries to talk about something she brings it back to the kids! 

 

 

I thought it was cute that Dean said he would love the hell out of her pancake titties. Of course Tori had to sigh & say "I hope someday I can trust him again."

 

I thought the fucking purpose of Season One was for her to learn how to trust him again; bitch even said as much at the season finale.  But last night, and likely this season is like watching season one all over again!  No matter what he does, all she will ever see is CHEATER! 

 

 

I really thought I saw a different, more happier, self confident Dean as soon as he got the news about the CSI gig. And then he went upstairs to the dark doom and gloom room with rock tits seeming all wasted, it looked liked daytime. What a life!

 

Don’t you get it?!  Everyone must suffer in the House of Fuckin’ Doom! 

 

 

And I just LOVED Dean calling her out, wanting to know WHAT exactly it is that SHE does that is SO much more than what he does??? And how she will do the most basic thing and act like she just moved a mountain. That's what we've been saying all season! She takes her kids to gymnastics, she wants a medal. Makes dinner, a parade should be held in her honor. Plays with them in the pool, and thinks the city should be named after her. I've been watching their shows for years. I've always seen Dean as a pretty involved father. The kids seem to adore him, so I doubt he's some absentee asshole like she's trying to make it. Just because he chooses to ALSO have a life, in addition to parenting, while she doesn't (which is half a lie anyway), why should he suffer so she can play martyr?  I thought it was very sad when Dean said he was asked to join a hockey group with school dads and Tori just knocked that idea down.

 

Only an insecure dumbass exclusively wants their spouse’s time, no wonder the man cheated. 

 

Here’s what I need to happen….Dean’s CSI role brings him attention.  With George Eads leaving, I hope Dean replaces him, becomes a big tv star and finally tells Tori the picklepuss that they are over and sues for joint custody of the kids.

[kathybgd]

Might I add, I thought having a 'soul mate' you can talk about any & everything because your so connected and in tuned to your mates feelings and emotions. These two had NOTHING! NOTHING going on their little date.

Edited November 26, 2014 by kathybgd

[wallofsound]

I was scratching my head when "T" was going on and on about what an over protective, hands on , involved parent she is. I don't recall seeing any footage that showcased her parenting in a positive light. Most of what I remember is self centered behavior, fighting with dean steps away from the children, and lots of ME time. She truly is delusional because the show that she produces has no footage of her being engaged with her children in any meaningful way. As big and purple (love that!) as deans face is, he at least seems to be living on planet earth.

[Satchels of gold]

Whoever came up with the house of doom reference I bow before you! Please check your happiness at the door. You can almost see the pall hanging over the house.

[Shannon Sheh]

Nothing will make me Team Dean. He cheated on his first wife and left her with a brand new baby (three weeks old) they were in the process of adopting. First wife had to begin adoption process all over as a single parent. Tori knew this and to feign shock that being with kids full time isn't so much his thing is guh-ross. She wasn't a teenager then, it was less than a decade ago; she wasn't a mother yet but she was a person WITH PARENTS who lives in the world. Since bailing on a kid didn't make her reconsider his ability to be depended on long term, she sincerely has no right to complain now (especially as she stays with him, waiting for some elusive someone's permission to leave). I caught a repeat of one of the earlier versions of this show a few weeks ago and they were planning LIAM's first birthday party; Dean is about eight years late on being a crybaby pee pants about his ''career''.

[TheRealT]

It's bad timing that this episode featuring Tori's struggles with taking care of herself, even to the point of putting off essential medical procedures, aired on the heels of her two-week stay in the hospital for... something. She said in an interview that the kids weren't fazed by her 2-week absence and that made her want to not be an invalid who's in and out of the hospital all the time, which also contradicts the storyline of her as the emotionally connected supermom. I admit that I love snarking and ragging on Tori, but at this point I really think she is significantly mentally ill.

 

She's a horrible mom now who is priming her kids to be as fucked up as she is and I think her parenting will just get worse as they grow out of the non-verbal/uncritical stage. You already see it starting with Liam, whom she treats as a problem a lot of the time because he competes with her for attention and control. She's been shown multiple times blaming him for her unhappiness and being frustrated when he demands that she meet his needs. Tori's needs are so vast and unending that it takes all of her energy to deal with them and other people's needs are just annoyances to her.

 

It's bizarre how their lives seem to be so centered on her and her crazy issues. The scene with Wolf and Jess was weird, but it seems that it's normal for them to argue in front of their friends and drag the friends into it as referees/witnesses/whatever. Who wants to go over to friends' house for dinner to get embroiled in their marital problems? Yet there have been so many scenes like that with various friends. I would think that maybe it was just for the show, but everyone seems pretty comfortable with the scenario and the friends always seem filled in on all the details of T & D's business.

 

When Dean was talking about how before they had Liam they were living the irresponsible, kid-free life I kept shouting that he had a kid at that time. I know that they're lying at least half the time on this show, so I assume that conversation was scripted as Dean's big admission of irresponsibility, but that part bugged the hell out of me. Dean was a father to a 7-year-old when he met Tori and he had been married for 13 years, yet he talked as if he was young and single at the time.

[Vixenstud]

And the way she spoke to Liam after Hattie got hit with the pumpkin.....so brusque and dismissive, no wonder he's scarfing down candy or whatever all the time.

[HeyNow]

I agree that there must be some sort of mental illness going on, on both their parts.  They can talk all the self-help jargon, but they don't seem to actually learn anything from their mistakes............ever.  I feel so sorry for those children.

[Lexie]

I agree that there must be some sort of mental illness going on, on both their parts.  They can talk all the self-help jargon, but they don't seem to actually learn anything from their mistakes............ever.  I feel so sorry for those children.

 

I'm not going to say that I'm team Dean, because I think he's a hothead and a douche, but wow, is he looking like the more rational one.  I think he's depressed and an addict but Tori seems way more mentally unbalanced to me.  One second she is acting like Dean is an asshole because he doesn't want to be a stay at home dad, and the next second she's saying that she doesn't want to leave the kids with him because she can't trust him.   How is she going to have him be a stay at home dad when she supposedly doesn't want to leave the kids with him for more than an hour.    Then she bitches that he didn't pick up the kids from school.  Why wouldn't she want the babysitter to get them if she doesn't even trust Dean alone with them?   This is all about control.  She told Dean to do it, and is pissed that he didn't.   Dean looks like he's one second away from blurting out "The fuck is wrong with you " every time they talk.  The "babysitter" is probably a nanny who is there all the time, including when Tori is pretending that she does everything.    That marriage is a perfect example of why you should't stay together just because you have kids.   I don't even think Tori is staying with Dean for the kids.   I don't think she wants a divorce, she wants to control Dean and the fact that he cheated is the card she's playing to get it.   Too bad that Dean is  not going along willingly because their games are creating a house of fuckin' doom environment for those kids.   The kids seem a lot more relaxed and engaged when they are around Dean.  Whenever Tori is doing anything with them she has that bitchface poor me thing going on, and throwing attitude about why Dean is not doing it.   She does not seem happy around those kids at all in my opinion.  It's really sad.    

Edited November 26, 2014 by Lexie

[One Tough Cookie]

Tori considers herself some kind of "Earth Mother"--always surrounding herself with her kids --but what does she actually DO with them?  I never see her doing things we see Dean doing--all we see her doing is shopping with a baby on her hip {Look at what an involved mother she is!!!} and lunching with her lackeys, I mean paid friends.  I don't think, given all she has had to say about Candy in the past, that she has had a positive role model in the mothering department.  Well, boo-hoo,a lot of us crapped out in the parent lottery.  And we've managed to become functioning adults and loving parents.  When even WEXLER looks at you as if you had lost your mind, you know you are in deep shit.

 

Dean should just leave. HE WILL NEVER WIN.  And she will never divorce him--he's apparently responsible for all the misery in her life, I guess.  Go play hockey, do guests shots, get a life that doesn't revolve around that miserable narcissistic nut job who is determined to be miserable and spread misery to everyone she encounters.  When everyone in your life is looking at you wondering if you have lost your marbles, it is time to re-assess.  Quit blaming and shaming.  Grow up and deal with your marriage and life in general.. Make a decision, but for the love of ice cream  can we have one episode without hearing about Dean's transgression?

 

So I'm wondering--if Mr. McDermott is clean and sober, why does he look like 96 miles of bad road?  Shouldn't he have lost that alky bloat by now???

Edited November 26, 2014 by One More Time

[TheRealT]

And the way she spoke to Liam after Hattie got hit with the pumpkin.....so brusque and dismissive, no wonder he's scarfing down candy or whatever all the time.

She had a similar tone with Liam when Hattie threw up in the car and he was upset that vomit got on his iPad, when he had a tantrum in the party goods store, and any other times he's "made things more difficult" for Tori when he should be understanding of how hard everything is for her and trying to support her. Tori needs everything to revolve around her at all times, which is problematic with 4 young children. Or with children of any age, really. I shudder to think what things will be like when the kids are teenagers and they act out for attention/payback and Tori makes everything about her, how hard she has it, and how ungrateful they are for what a great mom she is compared to how she suffered with her mom.

 

I'm not going to say that I'm team Dean, because I think he's a hothead and a douche, but wow, is he looking like the more rational one.  I think he's depressed and an addict but Tori seems way more mentally unbalanced to me.  One second she is acting like Dean is an asshole because he doesn't want to be a stay at home dad, and the next second she's saying that she doesn't want to leave the kids with him because she can't trust him.   How is she going to have him be a stay at home dad when she supposedly doesn't want to leave the kids with him for more than an hour.    Then she bitches that he didn't pick up the kids from school.  Why wouldn't she want the babysitter to get them if she doesn't even trust Dean alone with them?   This is all about control.  She told Dean to do it, and is pissed that he didn't.   Dean looks like he's one second away from blurting out "The fuck is wrong with you " every time they talk.  The "babysitter" is probably a nanny who is there all the time, including when Tori is pretending that she does everything.    That marriage is a perfect example of why you should't stay together just because you have kids.   I don't even think Tori is staying with Dean for the kids.   I don't think she wants a divorce, she wants to control Dean and the fact that he cheated is the card she's playing to get it.   Too bad that Dean is  not going along willingly because their games are creating a house of fuckin' doom environment for those kids.   The kids seem a lot more relaxed and engaged when they are around Dean.  Whenever Tori is doing anything with them she has that bitchface poor me thing going on, and throwing attitude about why Dean is not doing it.   She does not seem happy around those kids at all in my opinion.  It's really sad.    

I was glad that they mentioned (one of) the nanny(/ies) even though they tried to minimize her role to a "babysitter" who's not fully authorized to pick the kids up from school. Bravo to Dean for blowing up Tori's spot with that whole scene. As I understood it, he was at home taking care of the kids with the nanny and, though Tori had told him to pick up the kids from school (or maybe she's just told him that that's her general preference), he let the nanny pick them up while he stayed at home with Finn. From the way he described it, the nanny is used to picking up the kids at least sometimes because it seems that she just told Dean she was picking them up like that was a normal thing and he said it was fine. I guess he was supposed to say, "No, don't pick them up. Tori told me to do it." I'm sure the nannies prefer to work with Dean and I'm sure the kids, the nannies, and especially Dean see her hospital stays as vacations.

 

In PumpkinPatchgate I actually thought Tori was making the situation worse, not just for Dean, but for Hattie. Luckily, Hattie just ignored her and went on with her pumpkin picking (Tori's meltdowns are probably just white noise to her by now), but Tori freaking out over a non-existent injury could have made Hattie anxious and freaked her out unnecessarily. Anyone who's been around kids (or adults) has accidentally bonked them on the head, stepped on them, or whatever. Any kid with 3 siblings has been accidentally and intentionally hit, stomped, kicked, etc. numerous times. The whole thing was just ridiculous and yet another example of Tori ruining happy family moments with her neuroses.

[ghoulina]

Yup. And anyone with kids knows that you base your reaction on theirs. If the child doesn't seem that upset, then you don't go around shrieking like she just LOST her head. Damn.

[Kromm]

Dean's "career" is treated as though it's really a thing

It may not seem very prestigious, but Chopped Canada at the very least probably counted as a real gig. Lets face it... because it not only appeared in Canada, but also in America.

And that sucker got renewed too: http://www.princegeorgecitizen.com/entertainment/television/dean-mcdermott-and-star-chefs-return-for-season-2-of-chopped-canada-1.1053001

[AmyFarrahFowler]

 

 

 

Pumpkingate – Was a crock of shit, and would likely be the last straw for a stronger man.  First of all, ‘Dean isn’t emotionally present for the kids’?  Well where was the ‘overprotective one’ when the pumpkin went boing-yoing-yoing on Hattie Cat’s noggin?!  Shouldn’t she have seen Hattie behind Dean, since she’s so on top of things?  Shit, I’ve stepped on my cat Spookyjuice’s paw a cabillion times due to him following me so closely.  And once she was hit and cried a bit, Hattie Cat was ready to continue pumpkin shopping….she wasn’t unconscious and there was no blood so all that drama was stupid and unnecessary. 

 

 

The way Tori acted about Pumpkingate, I am expecting the next episode that they will all be wearing helmets.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Lexie]

I think Tori was already pissy before pumpkingate even happened.   To me it seemed like she had an attitude and blew him off when he asked if he should get one of those pumpkins.  Then when he went to put it back he accidentally hit Hattie with it.  Also did I hear her say that 30.00 was too much for a pumpkin?  That's freaking hilarious considering she's paying thousands of dollars a month to store bullshit like stuffed animals.  lol  Weirdo.  At least the kids would get to have fun with the pumpkin, carve it, then get rid of it.   Instead of it ending up in the hoarding room and storage later down the line like other random crap Tori has blown money on.

[Miss February]

This show is hardly a ringing endorsement for therapist Wexler.  Tori and Dean's relationship is getting worse, not better.  No matter what truths are discovered and understood, the relationship just becomes more embattled.  They're both very problem-centered, and seem to be in a continual state of heightened emotion.  It seems to me that Dean is becoming bewildered with the endless talk and the hyper-focus on every detail of their waking hours.  I think he's ready to implement what they've learned, and he's confused as to when the therapeutic urgency is going to subside.  Tori, however, seems to be on alert for yet one more thing to dwell on.  My guess is that the pain of the infidelity still hasn't lessened and she feels more comfortable keeping the relationship adversarial until it does.  It may feel too scary to let go of the Dean who is in this repentant phase.  (This could be unintentional on her part.)  I don't think continual rehash is going to help her overcome this stage of the pain.  She has expressed her feelings and described the pain (rightfully so), and he seems to finally understand everything, and he seems truly remorseful.  If she wants to stay with him, she has to try to forgive him now and then stop continually thinking and talking about the subject, or she'll never feel better.  The therapist will just keep them endlessly in this talking/feeling stage, and that's not emotionally healthy for either of them.

Edited November 27, 2014 by Miss February

[Bossa Nova]

Miss February, that was really quite insightful. Best summary to date on just what is going on in that marriage.  

[Lexie]

I don't think continual rehash is going to help her overcome this stage of the pain.  She has expressed her feelings and described the pain (rightfully so), and he seems to finally understand everything, and he seems truly remorseful.  If she wants to stay with him, she has to try to forgive him now and then stop continually thinking and talking about the subject, or she'll never feel better.  The therapist will just keep them endlessly in this talking/feeling stage, and that's not emotionally healthy for either of them

 

I don't think Tori is really concerned with moving on emotionally and feeling better.   She has made a career in reality tv and books by rehashing ancient history and complaining about her mother.   Now she's going to ride the rehashing what Dean did train.   You know there's going to be another book about this in the near future.   Adultori.     I do think that Dean comprehends moving on and either getting over it or not but I don't think that's on Tori's radar at all right now.

[TheRealT]

I don't think Tori is really concerned with moving on emotionally and feeling better.   She has made a career in reality tv and books by rehashing ancient history and complaining about her mother.   Now she's going to ride the rehashing what Dean did train.   You know there's going to be another book about this in the near future.   Adultori.     I do think that Dean comprehends moving on and either getting over it or not but I don't think that's on Tori's radar at all right now.

Tori is addicted to drama and being the center of attention. She will milk the adultery for all it's worth because, in her mind, it's a clear cut case of her being Right and Dean being Wrong and she is clearly the Victim everyone should feel sorry for. I'm sure it's beyond her comprehension that anyone could sympathize with Dean or not get how incredibly hard this is for her. She's admitted that she's addicted to being on reality TV and this show is a televised version of her interpersonal dynamic in which everything and everyone revolves around her and her feelings. Her goal is not to move on because what would that look like? Her family/friends/world getting to focus on something besides how Tori is feeling? That's Tori's version of hell.

[trimthatfat]

IMO, if you choose to stay with someone who has cheated, you need to let the infidelity go. Go to therapy and actively work to move past what happened if you agree to forgive your husband/wife. Tori doesn't want to do that at all. Dean could vow to be faithful and mean it, and Tori will still be angry.  I honestly think Dean would be a much healthier, happier man without Tori. Do I think he has a shitty personality? Yes. But I also think he will never win in Tori's eyes and he'd be better off agreeing to divorce and co-parent. Tori is a miserable person. I feel badly for her children because I know she will emotionally guilt them for many, many years to come when they are young adults. They'll want to spend the night sleeping over a friend's house and Tori will break down, crying that no one loves her.

 

Dean should absolutely join the parents' hockey league. I hope he does. It would be a very good thing for him to connect with other people. Tori could easily join a moms' group, too.

 

Also, why on earth would Tori keep her implants when they were recalled many years ago? That's ridiculous. There's a reason why they were recalled and the fact that she'd put her health in jeopardy just adds further credence that there is something that is not right with Tori mentally.

 

Forgot to mention the irony of Tori criticizing Dean for not watching the children the way she does after the pumpkin incident, but iirc, when she went to find out what happened, Finn was definitely out of her and Dean's line of vision. From what I've seen, Dean does try to be very involved with his children. I've never gotten the impression that he neglects them in any way. Kids have accidents...whatever, it happens. Hattie was fine and seemed to move on to just fine to another pumpkin.

Edited November 27, 2014 by trimthatfat