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Small Talk: Ughngnggh! Ugghhnnn!


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76 two days ago, this morning I had to put the heated seats on in the car, the problems I have to deal with, yet unbelievably, there’s someone complaining on TV that they’ve got to walk five miles to get a bucket of drinking water out of a muddy ditch  🙄

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Yesterday was very hot in my office, overall 82 degrees and it rained overnight and cooled off (thank jeebus) it's supposed to be 64 today. I hate to turn on my a/c before May. The dude was here fixing my printer and he was sweating up a storm. I felt terrible for him but I'm not in charge of the a/c (at work) Obviously its the humidity that's killer where I am and the paper coming out of my machine was curling because of the heat of the machine, heat of the day and humidity. So my paper is shooting out all curly and won't lay down neatly. I leave the room and come back to the comical scene from 9 to 5 with Jane Fonda trying to catch the flying paper. You think that thing is made up, exaggerated maybe, but I had some shooting papers.

Long ago when I worked for Enterprise we were shuffling cars to the military base because of some kind of high profile shindig with General McFancyPants and I started feeling ill. Fever and nauseous. I was truly beginning to think I was gonna have to go home early because I was burning up. Come to find out somebody had turned on the heated seat in the middle of summer and I was frying my tuchus off. Clearly I'm not accustomed to fancy heated seats.

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39 minutes ago, Superclam said:

I don't have them in my current car. They always make me feel like I just pissed on myself. 

May I be so humble to suggest that Sir should select a finer quality of leather for his seating, the hide of the endangered African spotted Antelope provides the ultimate in posterior comfort and ventilation 😋

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32 minutes ago, OoohMaggie said:

May I be so humble to suggest that Sir should select a finer quality of leather for his seating, the hide of the endangered African spotted Antelope provides the ultimate in posterior comfort and ventilation 😋

Either that, or I should pee before I get in the car. 

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1 hour ago, Superclam said:

Either that, or I should pee before I get in the car. 

Isn't that what your parents used to say? and you tell thine children? The older I get I have to remind myself to pee before I leave anywhere. I'm not sure if my neighbors think I'm an alcoholic because sometimes I come running home, in a crooked manner, but I GOTTA GO POTTYYYYYYY!

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(edited)


if anyone over the last few weeks has forgotten what makes a truly great TV show, may I humbly suggest catching up on one of the very, very best ever made...........

 

Edited by OoohMaggie
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22 minutes ago, icemiser69 said:

There needs to be a law passed where if a person is walking their dog and the dog craps on your property, and the owner doesn't pick it up, if you can get it on film, the property owner gets to rub the dog owner's face in the dog crap.

I would heartily endorse this law, and vote for any candidate who supports it. 

23 minutes ago, icemiser69 said:

So you have on occasion peed on yourself?  How does that happen?   I can understand if you were peeing and missed the toilet and hit the wall, I have done that.  It is an easy thing to do.  Penises should come with sights so you know where you are aiming the damn thing.

No, but I was coming back from a concert a few years back, after drinking several overpriced beers at the show. I took the train back home, and on the walk home from the train I really thought I was about to piss on myself for the first time in about 45 years. 

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1 hour ago, nachomama said:

Isn't that what your parents used to say? and you tell thine children? 

Every time, and when they say "I don't have to!" I say do it anyway. Because experience has shown me that as soon as we're as far away from a toilet as possible, they will be "Daaaaddyyyy....." 

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3 hours ago, OoohMaggie said:


if anyone over the last few weeks has forgotten what makes a truly great TV show, may I humbly suggest catching up on one of the very, very best ever made...........

 

There's something wrong with that scene...? Oh, I know: The killers don't stand there holding a gun, gloating, sneering and monolguing about exactly how clever they are and are definitely going to kill the other guys as soon as they finish talking about it and so do this for so long that someone else has the chance to sneak in and get the drop on the gunmen. Isn't that how it's supposed to be done?

Actually, I started to watch that show but it didn't grab me. As much as I love Steve Buscemi (he was incredible on The Sopranos, by turn hilarious and terrifying) I didn't get the feeling he could carry a show like this. Maybe I need to give it another chance.

No 20-minute speechifying here either. Someone is doing something wrong:

 

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(edited)
On 3/30/2021 at 10:33 PM, Nashville said:

I purely LOVE The Offspring; have for years, and still do. My personal favorite:

https://youtu.be/40V9_1PMUGM

 

Oh yeah I get why, it is a masterpiece.  I heard that they were thru a hard time while doing it but I don't have the details.

What i like about them is that they are always spot on in the era/subject that they are covering.  Let the bad times roll is no exception.

In my case it will always be that one because it was personal at the same time it came out:

 

Edited by heisenberg
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15 hours ago, icemiser69 said:

Penises should come with sights so you know where you are aiming the damn thing.

I usually P in the wash basin, just flop it over the rim and let fly, no aiming necessary 😁

12 hours ago, AngelaHunter said:

Maybe I need to give it another chance.

You really do 👏

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22 hours ago, nachomama said:

Isn't that what your parents used to say? and you tell thine children? The older I get I have to remind myself to pee before I leave anywhere. I'm not sure if my neighbors think I'm an alcoholic because sometimes I come running home, in a crooked manner, but I GOTTA GO POTTYYYYYYY!

Heads-up for when you start getting into your mid-to-late 50s: if you’re in a store and you catch yourself mentally asking, “I wonder if I need to use the restroom before I leave?” - the simple fact that question came to mind means you better already be headed in that direction.  😉

 

17 hours ago, heisenberg said:

Oh yeah I get why, it is a masterpiece.  I heard that they were thru a hard time while doing it but I don't have the details.

Yeah... Dexter Holland (the lead singer) wrote it as a tribute to his girlfriend after she died in an car accident.  That’s why it’s one of my favorites; not the subject matter to be sure, but you’ll be hard put to find any other song on the planet where the power of raw and honest pain and emotion just absolutely POURS out through the song.  I usually can’t listen to it without choking up some.

 

17 hours ago, heisenberg said:

What i like about them is that they are always spot on in the era/subject that they are covering.  Let the bad times roll is no exception.

Absolutely.  While many folks I’ve talked to think of them as a “fun to listen to” band (which they are, definitely), they also have a very sure and deft touch on irony and sarcasm in their lyrics which I truly love.  It appeals to my socially snarky nature.  😆

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2 hours ago, AngelaHunter said:

Is your name "Daryl"? 😆

I honestly can’t see Daryl being so civilised, the wash basin solution provides the ultimate male  ‘refresh oneself’ opportunity, not a concept i can in any way relate to Dirty D 😀

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1 minute ago, OoohMaggie said:

I honestly can’t see Daryl being so civilised, the wash basin solution provides the ultimate male  ‘refresh oneself’ opportunity, not a concept i can in any way relate to Dirty D 😀

Who said he was civilized? I seem to recall (and correct me if I'm wrong) that he went and pissed in a sink in the moonshiners shack where he and Beth ended up after the Gov's attack on the prison. No gentleman, our Daryl.

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36 minutes ago, AngelaHunter said:

I seem to recall (and correct me if I'm wrong) that he went and pissed in a sink in the moonshiners shack where he and Beth ended up after the Gov's attack on the prison.

May I prostrate myself in deference to your Walking Dead knowledge, I can’t even remember the Moonshiners, never mind whether Daryl managed to piss in their sink or not. 
 

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1 hour ago, OoohMaggie said:

May I prostrate myself in deference to your Walking Dead knowledge, I can’t even remember the Moonshiners, never mind whether Daryl managed to piss in their sink or not. 
 

We never saw the Moonshiners, just their shack where Beth guzzled a bunch of their product and didn't even get tipsy, or didn't have the necessary acting skills to even pretend.

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6 hours ago, Nashville said:

Yeah... Dexter Holland (the lead singer) wrote it as a tribute to his girlfriend after she died in an car accident.  That’s why it’s one of my favorites; not the subject matter to be sure, but you’ll be hard put to find any other song on the planet where the power of raw and honest pain and emotion just absolutely POURS out through the song.  I usually can’t listen to it without choking up some.

Oh thanks, I did not know that.

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On 4/1/2021 at 4:11 PM, OoohMaggie said:


if anyone over the last few weeks has forgotten what makes a truly great TV show, may I humbly suggest catching up on one of the very, very best ever made...........

 

Do you watch Peaky Blinders?  I like how those two series take place at the same time but not the same place.

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(edited)
On 4/1/2021 at 7:34 PM, AngelaHunter said:

There's something wrong with that scene...? Oh, I know: The killers don't stand there holding a gun, gloating, sneering and monolguing about exactly how clever they are and are definitely going to kill the other guys as soon as they finish talking about it and so do this for so long that someone else has the chance to sneak in and get the drop on the gunmen. Isn't that how it's supposed to be done?

Actually, I started to watch that show but it didn't grab me. As much as I love Steve Buscemi (he was incredible on The Sopranos, by turn hilarious and terrifying) I didn't get the feeling he could carry a show like this. Maybe I need to give it another chance.

No 20-minute speechifying here either. Someone is doing something wrong:

 

I can't wait to see the movie, I wonder when it will be out.

Edited by heisenberg
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15 minutes ago, heisenberg said:

I can't wait to see the movie, I wonder when it will be out.

I'm not sure about that, but I'll watch it if it ever comes out. I think it was due out last fall?  What all of us wanted was a movie about Tony's childhood with Johnny Boy Soprano, Uncle June, Livia, Dickie Moltisanti, the music, and all that.  The show gave us some epic, teaser flashbacks but we wanted more.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WBu1DSSHUcY

 

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8 hours ago, Nashville said:

Yeah... Dexter Holland (the lead singer) wrote it as a tribute to his girlfriend after she died in an car accident.  That’s why it’s one of my favorites; not the subject matter to be sure, but you’ll be hard put to find any other song on the planet where the power of raw and honest pain and emotion just absolutely POURS out through the song.  I usually can’t listen to it without choking up some.

In this podcast they say that the piano version of Gone away will be on the new album.  They also say that one of their best new song is "This is not utopia" I can't wait to ear it.

 

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(edited)
11 hours ago, heisenberg said:

Do you watch Peaky Blinders?  I like how those two series take place at the same time but not the same place.

I loved the Blinders, the early seasons were the best, it got a bit boring and silly as it went on. The two settings  couldn’t have looked more different, a grimy industrial Birmingham, what a depressing fkin place , I don’t know why they needed the CGI, it doesn’t look much better now. I just love ‘nobody gives a Shit’ violent programmes, I’m praying they make a third Punisher, Equalizer and fourth John Wick 🙏

Edited by OoohMaggie
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On 4/1/2021 at 7:34 PM, AngelaHunter said:

As much as I love Steve Buscemi (he was incredible on The Sopranos, by turn hilarious and terrifying) I didn't get the feeling he could carry a show like this. Maybe I need to give it another chance.

On the opposite, it was what seduced me.  It was the anti-gangster persona.  Sure you will be afraid of someone who looks like a beast,  but I am even more afraid of someone who kills with a smile (As John Lennon would say).

Steve Buscemi did just that. He was not over doing a funny guy.  He would say to you "I'll think about it" with a handshake and a warm respond... But next thing you know you are dead...  He really impressed me because I was thinking the same when I started watching it and he has done some great acting in it.

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On 4/3/2021 at 9:42 PM, heisenberg said:

Steve Buscemi did just that. He was not over doing a funny guy.  He would say to you "I'll think about it" with a handshake and a warm respond... But next thing you know you are dead

Yes. He was witty and funny on the Sopranos, but it was a nasty humour with a rage seething underneath it. Great acting!

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On 4/4/2021 at 2:42 AM, heisenberg said:

He really impressed me because I was thinking the same when I started watching it and he has done some great acting in it.

I can’t think of any character that was not done full justice by the actor, for me it really was as good as it gets. 

 

3 hours ago, nachomama said:

I do love some Cillian Murphy. Rawr!

I did love 28 Days Later, thankfully for the scary assed infected and not the totally gratuitous full frontal naked Cillian! If only the Walkers could haul ass like those dudes 🏃‍♀️

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28 Days Later was awesome and the beginning of the Walking dead is a complete rip off of him waking up in a hospital after the zombie apocalypse has started. I did not understand 28 weeks later.

I know I already spend an inordinate amount of time annoyed with my sister. Yesterday she texts me that she got her lump sum of SSI money and I guess she got stimulus money. So she purchased a lawn mower, leaf blower, vaccuum, weed eater, carpet shampooer, dish towels, shower curtain, pillows, comforter, dish towels etc etc. I told her to slow her roll that she does not need to spend all her money in one day. (She says she did put the money in the mail that she owes me) I said this is what bank accounts are for and you don't know where/when your next chunk is coming. She says she can't keep more than $1900 in the bank or it will mess with her disability checks. I am trying to analyze what exactly about her actions always irritates me so much. I'm not jealous of the money, I don't believe she deserves it, she's never worked a day in her life to get a free ride but, nonetheless, here we are. In theory she did responsible things with the money, fixed the septic tank, got the ac fixed in the car. I wasn't bugging her to pay me first although the way she goes through it I'm glad she did. If she didn't have SSI then I would probably be having to foot her bills. But we finally have her electricity in her name and my dead sister is finally off the books. And the rest of the money, money is in the closet behind the whatchamacallit and only me and Norman know so that's safe. I tell you guys guys cuz you're at least as trustworthy as the boyfriend whose been there for a month. sigh.

 

 

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9 hours ago, nachomama said:

And the rest of the money, money is in the closet behind the whatchamacallit

Can you be a little more specific? I have a Nigerian third cousin twice removed who is a member of the country’s Royal family, they just happen to be looking for a very safe watchamacallit, hopefully in which they can hide $55 million in uncut diamonds 💎

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3 hours ago, OoohMaggie said:

Can you be a little more specific? I have a Nigerian third cousin twice removed who is a member of the country’s Royal family, they just happen to be looking for a very safe watchamacallit, hopefully in which they can hide $55 million in uncut diamonds 💎

I’m kind of shocked she hasn’t fallen for that. When she arrived at my eldest sisters house about 7years ago a truck driver dropped her off. She had given him her $1100 income tax refund “to keep safe”. He’s still keeping it safe somewhere.  I’ll draw you a map. 

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5 hours ago, OoohMaggie said:

Can you be a little more specific? I have a Nigerian third cousin twice removed who is a member of the country’s Royal family

I have a new Nigerian friend, a lovely widow who wants to send me 5.8 million$ as she trusts me to distribute it to "motherless baby homes" and the "less privilege", even though she doesn't know my name or in which country I live. I have to promise to keep only 800K for myself and all I have to do in order to receive it is send her 100$ for "security keeping fee." Sounds like a great deal.

But none of that is important. What IS important are the names of her and late, lamented hubby:

Quote

Before I move further, permit me to give you a little of my biography, I am Mother comfort Ball, 67 Years old woman and the wife of Late Sir Ball Martin who died in a Plane crash, blah blah.

I've been puzzled about this. So are they Mr.&Mrs. Comfort and Ball Martin? Mr&Mrs Ball Ball Martin? Other? Is "Comfort" her first name, or is it an adjective? Is a "Comfort Ball" anything like a Hug Chair?

I'm so confused.😵

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4 hours ago, icemiser69 said:

I bought one of those over the counter prostate medications and the first time I peed after taking it, it felt like I was peeing non-stop for about five minutes.  I have never peed for so long at one time in my life.

My doc currently has me on 8 different pills I have to take in various combinations throughout the day, and 3 of the 8 each individually have a diuretic component to them - so BELIEVE ME when I say I know whereof you speak.  💦💦💦

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4 hours ago, OoohMaggie said:

Maybe she’s a Nun, if you want to go halves on the $100 just drop me your account No 😇

Oh, so you're the one who sent me this letter, with a request. Do you want my blood type too? 😆

To this effect, you are to contact us with the details below for the immediate release of your funds.

 

Quote

your funds Total valued U.S$10,500,000.00 will now be credited to your Bank
Account by the Wire Transfer Department of the Federal Reserve Bank

Full Name:...............
Address:....................
Country:.....................
Telephone:....................
Mobile:........................
Occupation..................

Bank Name: --------------------------
Address: ----------------------------
Account No.:------------------------
Routing No.:------------------------
Swift Code: -------------------------
Account Name:
-----------------------

Thanks for banking with Federal Reserve Bank New York while we look forward to serve you with the best of our service. Kindly reply to this email address ASAP inf***2013@gmail.com

The Federal Reserve Bank New York must be on hard times if they have to use Gmail.

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(edited)
3 hours ago, AngelaHunter said:

The Federal Reserve Bank New York must be on hard times if they have to use Gmail.

The truly scary thing, is that someone, somewhere will actually fall for this bollocks, incidentally, I do currently have a beautiful beach front property for sale, it comes, absolutely guaranteed, with the very best sea views available in Colorado, if anyone is interested please just drop me a line 😋

Edited by OoohMaggie
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(edited)
21 minutes ago, OoohMaggie said:

The truly scary thing, is that someone, somewhere will actually fall for this bollocks, 

My mother, God love her, sends me all of these.  "Is this legit?"  No, Mom, as I've told you thirty other times, it's a scam.

Edited by madmax
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2 hours ago, OoohMaggie said:

The truly scary thing, is that someone, somewhere will actually fall for this bollocks

You don't want to know how many people fall for this, one of them to the tune of 1.6 million sent to Nigeria. If the scams weren't successful they wouldn't bother doing them. This is a mighty high tax on stupidity.

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6 hours ago, AngelaHunter said:

You don't want to know how many people fall for this, one of them to the tune of 1.6 million sent to Nigeria. If the scams weren't successful they wouldn't bother doing them. This is a mighty high tax on stupidity.

When you get right down to it, so’s the Powerball.

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My friend caught his mom in the act of "permitting" someone to access her computer remotely, as in they claimed to be Norton or some kind of "security" and were going to clean up the hard drive, etc. With that, they wouldn't have to ask for any passwords etc all info on the computer would be theirs.

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(edited)

Sooooooooooo, the old guy didn’t make it to 100, he won’t get a telegram from his wife now. That’s every TV channel taken over for the next three months.

( FYI, everybody who reaches 100 in the country gets a telegram from the Queen, basically congratulating them for having lived so long, despite having to go out to work from the age of 14, deal with stress, hardship, possibly dying in battle for her etc etc )

Hows Canada coping? Are people queuing in tears to lay flowers outside the embassy? 💐🙄

Speaking of queuing, I hope there’s not a line waiting to throw themselves in despair over Niagara Falls 😱

Edited by OoohMaggie
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8 hours ago, AngelaHunter said:

The only thing they were going to clean up out was her bank account.

Apart from being able to rip off thieving credit card companies, I’d love to have the skills to turn the tables on those conmen POS, I’d make them suffer electronically, before taking every penny and then leaving them seriously in debt to some very nasty gangsters.

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1 hour ago, OoohMaggie said:

Sooooooooooo, the old guy didn’t make it to 100, he won’t get a telegram from his wife now. That’s every TV channel taken over for the next three months.

( FYI, everybody who reaches 100 in the country gets a telegram from the Queen, basically congratulating them for having lived so long, despite having to go out to work from the age of 14, deal with stress, hardship, possibly dying in battle for her etc etc )

Hows Canada coping? Are people queuing in tears to lay flowers outside the embassy 💐🙄

Speaking of queuing, I hope there’s not a line waiting to throw themselves over Niagara Falls 😱

The question I have is - will Liz abdicate and give Charlie a shot? Dude's been waiting for a bit. 

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2 hours ago, OoohMaggie said:

Sooooooooooo, the old guy didn’t make it to 100

It's a miracle he made it to 99, considering what a hard life he had, working all those hours at exhausting jobs and struggling to support his family.🙄

 

2 hours ago, OoohMaggie said:

Hows Canada coping? Are people queuing in tears to lay flowers outside the embassy

Not THIS Canadian!

2 hours ago, OoohMaggie said:

I’d love to have the skills to turn the tables on those conmen POS, I’d make them suffer electronically,

If you haven't seen this guy's channel, you might enjoy it and he's one of your countrymen! Many scammer tears are shed. Or vile filth is spewed, depending on the  individual scammer.

https://www.youtube.com/c/JimBrowning/videos

 

 

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