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Small Talk: The Prayer Closet

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9 hours ago, jjane said:

Not here to argue, this situation is stressful enough. When asked, several attorneys did tell me that they would not be able to represent my niece due to having been told certain details about the situation by myself. These details would have possibly given my niece a heads up about our intentions with the custody case and also could have given her an advantage. As a paralegal, this is what we always go by at the firm I work for. We prefer to err on the side of caution.

Since you're a paralegal, I guess you got professional courtesy for the fees. Otherwise, fees for simple legal consults run into the hundreds around here and I couldn't imagine talking to multiple attorneys about the case.  Good luck, whatever happens.

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6 hours ago, Mindthinkr said:

@CalicoKitty First I’d like to offer my congratulations to your brother on his lifetime devotions being published. Please let us know the name of his book when it’s published. I really hope that you don’t have to evacuate and your home stays intact. I’m in awe of just how many and how big these wildfires are becoming. The world is changing fast and not for the better. Fires, floods and superstorms are becoming much too common. I’m glad you have a plan in place and I sincerely hope that you don’t have to put it into action. Stay safe. 

This morning's fire report says that the fire has now officially crossed the border into Nevada.  It is heading East, which is good for me.  A North turn would not be so good.  I'm told that this fire seems to be following the same path of a huge fire in the 80's, and will hopefully not head our way.  But it is only about 30 miles away.  Surprisingly, only 10 structures have been lost, so that tells you how remote this fire is.  Helicopters and planes are passing over frequently, and I think they said about 1200 people are working on it.  I'm ready, and have a place to go if I need to get out.  Thank you for thinking of me.

I will let you know about my brother's book as soon as I know a release date.  Thanks for asking.

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4 minutes ago, CalicoKitty said:

This morning's fire report says that the fire has now officially crossed the border into Nevada.  It is heading East, which is good for me.  A North turn would not be so good.  I'm told that this fire seems to be following the same path of a huge fire in the 80's, and will hopefully not head our way.  But it is only about 30 miles away.  Surprisingly, only 10 structures have been lost, so that tells you how remote this fire is.  Helicopters and planes are passing over frequently, and I think they said about 1200 people are working on it.  I'm ready, and have a place to go if I need to get out.  Thank you for thinking of me.

I will let you know about my brother's book as soon as I know a release date.  Thanks for asking.

Stay safe 🙏

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I did not get professional courtesy on the fees. I either took advantage of free telephone consults, which a surprising number of attorneys will do, or I paid for the consults. Professional courtesy was never requested. I talked to multiole attorneys about the case because of the complexity of the case and you can never know if a chosen attorney is appropriate for your case unless you talk to them.

I'm not sure why there seems to be hostility coming my way. I was simply updating the situation for the people who have offered me support and encouragement about this matter. I wouldn't dream of replying the  way a couple of people have, nor do I understand why people are loving the hostile responses. I will withdraw for now. For those of you who have been concerned about the fact that the underlying issue here is the safety of an abused child who finally, after almost a year, found the courage and the means to get in touch with me and ask for help, I know you are there.   I am sure that she was beaten black and blue when her mother found out and this attempt to get a permanent restraining order is one more way to make sure there is nothing I can do if she should reach out to me for help again.

For those of you who have offered love and support along the way, I thank you from the bottom of my heart and please know that I am here reading and silently sending you love and support back. This was an attempt on my part to update you, nothing else. 

Much love, Janet

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1 hour ago, jjane said:

I did not get professional courtesy on the fees. I either took advantage of free telephone consults, which a surprising number of attorneys will do, or I paid for the consults. Professional courtesy was never requested. I talked to multiole attorneys about the case because of the complexity of the case and you can never know if a chosen attorney is appropriate for your case unless you talk to them.

I'm not sure why there seems to be hostility coming my way. I was simply updating the situation for the people who have offered me support and encouragement about this matter. I wouldn't dream of replying the  way a couple of people have, nor do I understand why people are loving the hostile responses. I will withdraw for now. For those of you who have been concerned about the fact that the underlying issue here is the safety of an abused child who finally, after almost a year, found the courage and the means to get in touch with me and ask for help, I know you are there.   I am sure that she was beaten black and blue when her mother found out and this attempt to get a permanent restraining order is one more way to make sure there is nothing I can do if she should reach out to me for help again.

For those of you who have offered love and support along the way, I thank you from the bottom of my heart and please know that I am here reading and silently sending you love and support back. This was an attempt on my part to update you, nothing else. 

Much love, Janet

This is why I stopped posting on this thread. I’ve been struggling with my cancer journey and a few other issues, but I’m afraid that if I post about it too much, people will begin to question if I am making it up. I wish I were. I think, unfortunately, as I understand it, a couple posters’ stories were apparently thought to be probably fake or exaggerated. This has made it difficult both for those of us who need support and a place to vent, and those of us who want to offer that support but are afraid of being duped again. 

Edited by EVS
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To@EVS, first I hope your cancer journey ends up as a successful one. I have not had to deal with it  personally but my husband is a two time survivor and I know it can be done. I hope you have people around you to love and support you. Having people who believe in your strenght can often transmit theirs to you. I will add you to my prayers from now on. 

As to my situation, you are right. Some people on here seem to look for reasons to doubt the experiences of others. Believe me, I would prefer not to have to put up with this and I know you would prefer to be cancer free and able to just wake up every day and have the freedom to do what makes you happy without a cloud hanging over you. All we can do is support each other and I am definitely in your corner.

Huge internet hugs and much love to you. Janet

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12 minutes ago, jjane said:

To@EVS, first I hope your cancer journey ends up as a successful one. I have not had to deal with it  personally but my husband is a two time survivor and I know it can be done. I hope you have people around you to love and support you. Having people who believe in your strenght can often transmit theirs to you. I will add you to my prayers from now on. 

As to my situation, you are right. Some people on here seem to look for reasons to doubt the experiences of others. Believe me, I would prefer not to have to put up with this and I know you would prefer to be cancer free and able to just wake up every day and have the freedom to do what makes you happy without a cloud hanging over you. All we can do is support each other and I am definitely in your corner.

Huge internet hugs and much love to you. Janet

@jjane, thank you so much. You have my support and prayers with your situation as well. I will be going for tests in a few weeks and hopefully will get good news. Having blood cancer during covid sucks though. I did not develop antibodies from the covid vaccine so I am still stuck in quarantine.
 

in fairness, I do not think people want to doubt other posters, but I think after being burned a few times, whether here or elsewhere, it is natural to be suspicious.  There have been a few posts that I was suspicious of, but I just ignored them. For me personally, at least on this forum, I’d rather err on the side of believing.

I hope your situation with your niece and grand niece gets resolved soon.

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I truly believe the majority of us are caring people. The few that ruined it for us, well, ruined it for us. I am so sorry.

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7 minutes ago, Westiepeach said:

I truly believe the majority of us are caring people. The few that ruined it for us, well, ruined it for us. I am so sorry.

This is so true.  This forum has always been one of the most active and supportive on this site, but so many have come here and taken advantage of our goodwill and kindness that we are unable to be as open and trusting as we once were.  

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Popping in - 

I think ST was a great place for support and it can continue to be. If posters ask questions, just answer them - don't take it personally. Support goes both ways. We should be supportive of posters who ask questions, the same way we support those who are going through tough times.

Personally I took a break from ST for a time, but would love to return. I would love to see it come back to the lively, informative, funny and supportive place it can be.

I hope soon it will be.

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Life is - sometimes odd. I've posted a bit on here about my being the executor of the estate of a longtime friend who died a few months ago. We're now past the phase where I was pretty much daily dealing with something concerning the estate. We got the home cleared, personal property disposed of in various ways, got the place ready to sell and it's now listed for sale. With several showings booked already. I'm adjusting to life where I *don't* have a lot to do about the estate daily. 

And - don't ask how because I can't tell you. [ETA: not that it's a secret, it's just that I don't remember! 🙃 ]. But. I've become hooked on watching furniture flippers on YouTube. I started with the Furniture Flipping Teacher, a young woman who's a kindergarten teacher in Nebraska. She started flipping furniture to make money to pay off her student loans. Which she accomplished this spring. That led me down the rabbit hole to other furniture flippers. People who take thrift store, yard sale, side-of-the-road, and other such low-cost pieces of furniture and rehab/refinish them into an attractive state, and sell them for a profit. Some of those transformations are really "wow" inspiring!

It's been, well, interesting to realize that I'm OLD and the styles I liked all those years ago are now *vintage* to say the least.  🤣  But I'm enjoying my exposure via YouTube to the current styles and looks and fashions on the furniture front. I don't have a handy garage or basement in which to start sanding, mending, and painting furniture so I don't think I'll be doing such things myself. But it's fun to look at the furniture here in my condo and to imagine these things restyled with paint, refinished wood, etc. 

Edited by Jeeves
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1 hour ago, Jeeves said:

Life is - sometimes odd. I've posted a bit on here about my being the executor of the estate of a longtime friend who died a few months ago. We're now past the phase where I was pretty much daily dealing with something concerning the estate. We got the home cleared, personal property disposed of in various ways, got the place ready to sell and it's now listed for sale. With several showings booked already. I'm adjusting to life where I *don't* have a lot to do about the estate daily. 

And - don't ask how because I can't tell you. But. I've become hooked on watching furniture flippers on YouTube. I started with the Furniture Flipping Teacher, a young woman who's a kindergarten teacher in Nebraska. She started flipping furniture to make money to pay off her student loans. Which she accomplished this spring. That led me down the rabbit hole to other furniture flippers. People who take thrift store, yard sale, side-of-the-road, and other such low-cost pieces of furniture and rehab/refinish them into an attractive state, and sell them for a profit. Some of those transformations are really "wow" inspiring!

It's been, well, interesting to realize that I'm OLD and the styles I liked all those years ago are now *vintage* to say the least.  🤣  But I'm enjoying my exposure via YouTube to the current styles and looks and fashions on the furniture front. I don't have a handy garage or basement in which to start sanding, mending, and painting furniture so I don't think I'll be doing such things myself. But it's fun to look at the furniture here in my condo and to imagine these things restyled with paint, refinished wood, etc. 

So many wonderful things can be found on YouTube!!

 

Small Talk friends- update on “Park Guy”. PG texted me last night and then called me today, we chatted for a bit and get this, he then asked me “are you interested in an amazing opportunity?” Which pinged my “I am in an MLM and looking to either recruit or sell to you.” Dagnabit. I told him that my current profession was meeting my financial goals so no thanks (I was very polite). We chatted some more, he asked what I was doing Saturday and I told him I was giving blood (which I am). He asked was I seeing anyone and if I would be interested in seeing him🤨
 

I am debating getting a free meal out of this and being done if he follows through! But this was a fun story so far!!!

Edited to add- there’s nothing wrong with an MLM if people have a desire for that, but a sales pitch kinda kills the sexy vibes for me. 

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As far as being duped by people on this forum, I admit that I have been fooled by a couple of people who were outed by others but I don't see the need to be mean or aggressive if you doubt something. Simply put that person on ignore. Some of us are in situations that cause major stress, I wonder every day if this abused child has attempted suicide again or has been put into yet another mental facility for "observation" based on a bogus report from her mother. Yes, this has actually happened. I have literally been told if I did not take the child in years past that she would do just that because she had plans. Believe it or not, there are horrible parents out there who are able to pull the wool over the eyes of DCFS. Then there is the fact that they are inclined not to believe a child who has been in multiple facilities. This child has told me no one believes anything she says becasue they see her as the crazy girl. While you are doubting my story I am calling the police to do a welfare check, calling attorneys to try to get her to safety, fighting a restraining order that will mean I cannot even talk to the child if she calls me again for help. Occasionally I come to this board to update the people who care and to get a little support. 

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@jjane I’m sorry some people on here have hurt your feelings. Lots of us do care about you and your young relative that you are trying to get out of a very bad situation. Please don’t stop coming here to vent or to ask for help. There are lots of us that will be here for you. It must feel like you are banging your head against a wall some days with the ways that the system does not help or support you while you are trying so hard to get her to safety. I can’t imagine living day by day with this spinning out of control or going through all the correct motions just to be thwarted while your back is turned for one minute. It sounds exhausting. I hope you are taking care of yourself. Eating well, trying to get enough rest, and staying hydrated during these hot summer months. You matter too. 

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@Mindthinkr, thank you so much. You are so right about the way I feel most days. I am exhausted, and I am dealing with a couple of major health issues on top of my fibromyalgia and migraines. Some days I feel like just giving up. I get botox every three months for the migraines. The pain from the fibro is never ending. I am trying to get into a study for one of the other issues but it is in a neighboring state so the travel is challenging. Tonight I went to bed with five lidocaine patches on because I literally was in so much pain just walking was painful. I have to sleep in a recliner because I can't move if I try to sleep in a bed.  I've had a horrible cold for over a month that seems to come and go, although the cough is never ending and I am wearing the adult equivalent of a diaper because I pee on myself every time I cough.  And no, it is not Covid. I've been fully vaccinated for months. When I am this worn down something llike a cold will knock me down for weeks.  

This is literally the only place I feel comfortable talking about the situation because it feels like a safe space. I can see why people give up and the only thing that keeps me going is the knowledge that there is a child out there who is convinced that I will find a way to get her to safety. I am dealing with a mentally ill person who lives in her own delusional world where she is the best, smartest and deserving of devotion from everyone she comes in contact with.  If you don't show her the proper amount of respect she will go into a rage and become abusive, to her child or anyone else who is in her path. I have been the recepient of this when I tried to intervene on behalf of the child. She has tried to cause problems for me professionally. This restraining order could cause me to lose my Notary Public Commision because I am an officer of the Court in Louisiana. She is not playing around here and I am always waiting for something else to come up that I will have to fight. 

Frankly, if anyone feels better doubting me or questioning something that is going on, that is not my problem. I am drowning here and doing all I can to deal with this. It's five thirty two in the morning and I have not slept at all. I go without sleep until my body just gives up and I crash. If you are still here, thanks for reading. I have to go now. Thanks and love, Janet.

 

 

Edited by jjane · Reason: typos
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@jjane Louisiana is an interesting state as a lot of their laws are different from other states due to the Napoleonic Code. I know this as my brother got his JD at LSU and as a Federal Magistrate he had to go to New Orleans every year to make sure he was up to date on any changes (sidenote: that was so hard for him to have to go indulge in gumbo etc every year <sarcasm>). I believe you stated that these people live in another state whose laws would be different than the ones you are used to as an officer of the court. That’s challenging even for someone who understands both sets of law. I also hate to think of the legal expenses that you are incurring. I will hope none of this fight effects your Notary status. I’m going to reiterate that even though this is weighing on your mind every day you need to concentrate on your own health. You can’t fight the fight if you do not have the health to do so. I also believe that all of the stress that this is causing you isn’t helping your pain levels and general well being. I’m also scared for this young lady if she is dealing with a psycho mother. When she comes of age (months?) then you can offer her a safe place to live. Be very careful. Her mother is probably unpredictable and could cause a lot of trouble for you. Especially if she gets physical as your health leaves you in a vulnerable position. Be careful. Keep your house locked. Do you have a security system? A dog to bark and warn you if someone is prowling outside? You might want to consider getting a therapist. Not because I think any is wrong with you, but because this would be a safe place for you to vent and have support. Think about yourself. You will be no good to help her if you aren’t well or paralyzed by pain. Sending you hugs. I will pray that you soon see that silver lining in a cloud. 

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Dear @Mindthinkr, this is such a lovely post. You are right about the difference in laws. It isvery difficult to do this long distance. Yeah, I'm so sorry your brother was forced to eat gumbo (also sarcasm). I hope he ate plenty of pralines too. I actually make a pretty mean gumbo and I'm incredibly good at buying pralines. There is a place in the French Quarter where they make the pralines in the store and you can get them as soon as they are cool. They also have a place where they make fudge. Covid has kept me away from New Orleans and I hate it. I have started to get offers from my favorite hotel but with the variant I am still not comfortable with the idea. The mayor just reinstituted the mask  mandate, which will be a shame for the small business owners who have just started to open up again. My mother went to nursing school in New Orleans in the Army Nurse Corp during World War II, so I come by my New Orleans love honestly. 

Everything you said applies. Unfortunately, the child has a year and a half until she is 18. Yes, we do have an alarm system and I am glad my nephew, who is the brother or my niece, is living with us right  now. He despises her and would definitely do his best to protect us. 

I have talked with a therapist in the past and it helped. At this time, I am hesitant to have visits to a therapist on my record. My niece is a great believer in making a case against anyone who goes against her. Usually the "case" is fantasy concocted by my niece but she already tells everyone I am psychotic and refuse to take my meds. Not true, of course, but she is very good at forgery. Everyone who knows about the situation has expressed concern about the child. The therapist I talked to also met with the child twice and made a complaint to DCFS saying she feared the child would either succeed in killing herself or be killed by her mother. We already know that was ignored, along with all the other complaints of abuse.

As far as taking care of myself, you are absolutely right. I'm sure you also know how hard it is to think of yourself with all this other stuff in your head. I tell myself to relax, sit, put it out of my mind. My husband tells me to try to relax and encourages me to do things for myself and I know I should. It's just hard to do.

Anyway, I can't begin to tell you what your thoughtful post did for me. It's a lovely start to my day. Thank you so much. Sending you a giant hug and tons of love. Janet.

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@jjane Things will work out. You have us all rooting for you. 
Sidenote: I used to live in Metairie and know the area well. My best friend of 50 years is still there and I miss being able to go see her. Take care 😊

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On 7/20/2021 at 2:08 PM, iwantcookies said:

Any of you share a birthday with a Duggar? 

I don’t which is surprising.

I don't, but I share a birthday with two Bateses. And I share a first name with a Duggar (not Spurgeon).

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So I'm still watching furniture makeover videos on YouTube, as I mentioned here yesterday. I'm so deep down this rabbit hole that I'm recognizing the folks whose aesthetic I like and a few who disappoint me.  I must be really getting into this if I'm now critiquing the style choices. 🤣  

I'm not perfect, and have made many stupid choices and done many stupid things in the course of my life. But my dad was a carpenter and cabinet maker and although I don't use power saws myself, I haven't lost all common sense about those things and the damage they can do.

So although I LOVE almost every one of her finished pieces, I cringed my way through a video showing this furniture flipper at work. She and her husband are young and hard working and I understand that they don't have a nicely equipped workshop and are doing all this in their regular house and garage. But, holy smokes! She's ALWAYS working with chemicals and power tools wearing a pair of slide sandals with her toes hanging out. And I was so appalled when I saw this little maneuver that I had to go back and get a screen shot. FFS, lady, put the damn saw up on a sturdy table! She sat the saw on the driveway, and knelt down with her bare toes a few inches from the blade. Sorry, but that's just insanely stupid. I still remember the time my dad lost the tip of one finger to a saw, and I KNOW he never pulled crazy stunts like that. I hope she doesn't lose one of those toes to her flipping business. Or damage her eyes for lack of safety glasses. Here's the shot with a spoiler tag. (I originally posted it without the tag, not realizing that if you or someone you know has been injured in a similar situation it could be hard to look at).

 

Spoiler

Screen-Shot-2021-07-22-at-7_27.12-AM.thumb.jpg.69ceb112f16d043f6ee3f863d54c5072.jpg

 

ETA: actually she. moved the blade much closer to her toes than shown in this screenshot. I think she had just needed to cut one small piece of wood ,but still, it was such a stupid way to do it. 

Edited by Jeeves
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16 minutes ago, Jeeves said:

So I'm still watching furniture makeover videos on YouTube, as I mentioned here yesterday. I'm so deep down this rabbit hole that I'm recognizing the folks whose aesthetic I like and a few who disappoint me.  I must be really getting into this if I'm now critiquing the style choices. 🤣  

I'm not perfect, and have made many stupid choices and done many stupid things in the course of my life. But my dad was a carpenter and cabinet maker and although I don't use power saws myself, I haven't lost all common sense about those things and the damage they can do.

So although I LOVE almost every one of her finished pieces, I cringed my way through a video showing this furniture flipper at work. She and her husband are young and hard working and I understand that they don't have a nicely equipped workshop and are doing all this in their regular house and garage. But, holy smokes! She's ALWAYS working with chemicals and power tools wearing a pair of slide sandals with her toes hanging out. And I was so appalled when I saw this little maneuver that I had to go back and get a screen shot. FFS, lady, put the damn saw up on a sturdy table! She sat the saw on the driveway, and knelt down with her bare toes a few inches from the blade. Sorry, but that's just insanely stupid. I still remember the time my dad lost the tip of one finger to a saw, and I KNOW he never pulled crazy stunts like that. I hope she doesn't lose one of those toes to her flipping business. Or damage her eyes for lack of safety glasses. Here's the shot:

Screen-Shot-2021-07-22-at-7_27.12-AM.thumb.jpg.69ceb112f16d043f6ee3f863d54c5072.jpg

ETA: actually she. moved the blade much closer to her toes than shown in this screenshot. I think she had just needed to cut one small piece of wood ,but still, it was such a stupid way to do it. 

I actually scrolled quickly past the screen shot because my husband cut 3 of his fingers badly in early January with a similar saw. He was very fortunate not to lose them. He had to have surgery and is still in therapy. He has regained much of the use of that hand but I don't think he will ever be able to completely close it in a fist. We are very cognizant of the fact that it could have been so much worse! He has had wonderful medical care, we have good health insurance and medical science has come so far in dealing with these type injuries.  

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27 minutes ago, Jeeves said:

So I'm still watching furniture makeover videos on YouTube, as I mentioned here yesterday. I'm so deep down this rabbit hole that I'm recognizing the folks whose aesthetic I like and a few who disappoint me.  I must be really getting into this if I'm now critiquing the style choices. 🤣  

I'm not perfect, and have made many stupid choices and done many stupid things in the course of my life. But my dad was a carpenter and cabinet maker and although I don't use power saws myself, I haven't lost all common sense about those things and the damage they can do.

So although I LOVE almost every one of her finished pieces, I cringed my way through a video showing this furniture flipper at work. She and her husband are young and hard working and I understand that they don't have a nicely equipped workshop and are doing all this in their regular house and garage. But, holy smokes! She's ALWAYS working with chemicals and power tools wearing a pair of slide sandals with her toes hanging out. And I was so appalled when I saw this little maneuver that I had to go back and get a screen shot. FFS, lady, put the damn saw up on a sturdy table! She sat the saw on the driveway, and knelt down with her bare toes a few inches from the blade. Sorry, but that's just insanely stupid. I still remember the time my dad lost the tip of one finger to a saw, and I KNOW he never pulled crazy stunts like that. I hope she doesn't lose one of those toes to her flipping business. Or damage her eyes for lack of safety glasses. Here's the shot:

Screen-Shot-2021-07-22-at-7_27.12-AM.thumb.jpg.69ceb112f16d043f6ee3f863d54c5072.jpg

ETA: actually she. moved the blade much closer to her toes than shown in this screenshot. I think she had just needed to cut one small piece of wood ,but still, it was such a stupid way to do it. 

She's also at risk of injuring her knee and lady parts. Cutting wood doesn't always go smoothly and its known to 'jump' and 'shoot' when you least expect it.

Edited by GeeGolly
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2 minutes ago, Liddy52 said:

I actually scrolled quickly past the screen shot because my husband cut 3 of his fingers badly in early January with a similar saw. He was very fortunate not to lose them. He had to have surgery and is still in therapy. He has regained much of the use of that hand but I don't think he will ever be able to completely close it in a fist. We are very cognizant of the fact that it could have been so much worse! He has had wonderful medical care, we have good health insurance and medical science has come so far in dealing with these type injuries.  

OMG, I'm so sorry that happened to your husband! And I feel bad for putting that photo up without realizing that it would be hard for someone to see for that reason. I think I'll try to spoiler tag it. I apologize for being thoughtless about that. I'm glad your husband has had good medical care. 

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1 minute ago, Jeeves said:

OMG, I'm so sorry that happened to your husband! And I feel bad for putting that photo up without realizing that it would be hard for someone to see for that reason. I think I'll try to spoiler tag it. I apologize for being thoughtless about that. I'm glad your husband has had good medical care. 

Oh goodness, don't feel bad about putting it up. There is absolutely no need to put a spoiler tag. Like I said I just scrolled quickly past it. You are so kind to worry about it but it is really not a big deal. If his injury is the worst thing we have to deal with in our lives, we are extremely fortunate.  So very many people,  including posters here are currently dealing with MUCH WORSE! Thank you for your thoughtful consideration!

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Funny(ish) story. In his retirement years, my dad had a workshop that most would be jealous of. He was working on something when a 2 x 4 shot back at him into his abdominal/groin area. My mom was in the house and couldn't reach him by intercom or phone to remind him of an appointment, so she walked out to the shop to tell him. When she walked in, my dad was sitting down, slouched back against against the wall with his hands in his open pants. 🙃

He could barely speak because he had the wind knocked out of him and he was in pain. When my mom finally figured out he wasn't masturbating she helped him up and came to his aid. BTW, he was totally fine. Just a very small, but angry bruise.

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@GeeGolly, I decided to click the laugh emoji for that post because your dad wasn't injured beyond a little bruise. Which makes the situation in which your mom found him, funny to think about. Made me think of this commercial, another situation where a situation can be misunderstood.

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1 minute ago, Jeeves said:

@GeeGolly, I decided to click the laugh emoji for that post because your dad wasn't injured beyond a little bruise. Which makes the situation in which your mom found him, funny to think about. Made me think of this commercial, another situation where a situation can be misunderstood.

Exactly!

Trust me, we were laughing hysterically when they told the story. Especially because my parents weren't ones to ever speak of sex or sexual acts. If was just as funny listening to my mom trying to navigate that part of the story.

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Cosmo and I found this on our walk today. These just bloomed because we havent been down that street in about 2 days and we hadn't seen them before. Rose of Sharon I am told. 

86C78DA1-7C11-41A3-A814-525B6B8A3ADA.jpeg

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My daughter’s almost ex has been coming into her house when she is not at home. He is not allowed to do this and she has video and dated picture proof. She called her cousin who walked her through changing the locks and she did. It made her day. It made mine to see her figuring this out, not calling a locksmith (they live in a very small town and chances are her ex went to school with whoever) and her finally having some genuine happiness with herself. Proud mama moment. 

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File these last two weeks under "If I don't laugh I'm gonna start crying"  Possible trigger warning: not all wild animals in this story survive.

We begin with peppersis's very active beagle suddenly whimpering in pain and not wanting to move.  It was near the end of the work day so the normal vet understandably couldn't fit her in.  No worries we'll call the local specialty/emergency 24 hour vet.  Only they tell us they are not taking new patients (um then what good are they as an emergency vet?!?)  We finally find another emergency vet on the other side of the county that is taking emergency patients and I drive over to load up the beagle (sister walks with a cane, there's no way she'd have been able to pick up a 25 lbs dog and get her to the car).  They warn us that due to the volume of patients they are seeing, they will be able to give puppers some pain medication so she will stop shivering and crying but it will be a few hours before they can do a comprehensive exam.  We get a call to come pick her up around 2 AM, and she is much better and walking on her own thanks to the pain meds, and no findings of anything serious like a dislocation, broken bone, animal bite, or degenerative disc disease.  Follow up with regular vet later in the week agrees that it was some sort of muscle strain, and dog is on 4 weeks of crate rest.  We find out later that the first emergency vet had been hacked/ransom-wared and that is why they couldn't handle patients other than those who had previously scheduled appointments (hackers are scum!)

That weekend we had a pre-planned dinner with the pepperparents, so we bundle the pup in the car and head out.  While there, I'm in the puppy pen with beagle on a leash to allow her to do her business but not get active before we load her up for the return trip.  She starts nosing at a spot on the ground that almost looks like it was filled with white batting.  Since she'd already drained her bladder I just picked her up and took her to the car.  Texted mom that I thought she might have an animal like a rabbit that moved into the pen and she might want to do something about it.  Mom couldn't figure out where I was talking about so she didn't do anything.

We return the next weekend and puppers goes straight to the same spot, and this time when she tries to dig, the ground independently moves.  There is definitely something alive in there!  I remove puppers to the other side of the yard outside the pen, because digging is on the no-no list for crate rest.  I order some bunny deterrent for the pen that is dog safe (it isn't poison it is just smelly enough that bunnies prefer to hang elsewhere).  Mom plans to have me put it in next time I visit.

But before that can happen, pepperparents' AC goes kaput.  Fortunately the house is dual zone and the AC for the bedroom area is still working, so they don't melt into a sweaty puddle despite the heatwave.  AC man comes out, and starts looking at the unit, but then a snake appears, and he finds a 6 foot long snake skin wrapped around the unit having the issue.  AC man nopes the heck right on out of there.  I seriously do not blame him!

Enter snake man to the cast of characters.  He finds the snake den, and determines that it is a large but common black garden snake.  If snake hadn't decided to move in next to the AC unit, we'd leave him alone, he's not that dangerous.  It's not like it was a spitting cobra or anything like that.  But he's in the way and needs to be relocated.  Snake decides to bolt during this procedure, and ends up in puppy pen where he finds the spot that the beagle had been digging at earlier.  Turns out it was indeed a bunny den.  This actually slows snake down long enough that snake man was actually able to safely capture the snake for relocation.  Sadly the baby bunny ended up as a snake snack.  On the up side the snake wasn't trying to go for the bunny at the same time the beagle was, and the bunny den is now vacant. 

Bunnies, Beagles, and Black snakes Oh My!  It's like the wildlife around here decided to go insane.   And yes we did get peppermom's AC fixed once the snake had left the building. 

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4 hours ago, peppergal said:

File these last two weeks under "If I don't laugh I'm gonna start crying"  Possible trigger warning: not all wild animals in this story survive.

We begin with peppersis's very active beagle suddenly whimpering in pain and not wanting to move.  It was near the end of the work day so the normal vet understandably couldn't fit her in.  No worries we'll call the local specialty/emergency 24 hour vet.  Only they tell us they are not taking new patients (um then what good are they as an emergency vet?!?)  We finally find another emergency vet on the other side of the county that is taking emergency patients and I drive over to load up the beagle (sister walks with a cane, there's no way she'd have been able to pick up a 25 lbs dog and get her to the car).  They warn us that due to the volume of patients they are seeing, they will be able to give puppers some pain medication so she will stop shivering and crying but it will be a few hours before they can do a comprehensive exam.  We get a call to come pick her up around 2 AM, and she is much better and walking on her own thanks to the pain meds, and no findings of anything serious like a dislocation, broken bone, animal bite, or degenerative disc disease.  Follow up with regular vet later in the week agrees that it was some sort of muscle strain, and dog is on 4 weeks of crate rest.  We find out later that the first emergency vet had been hacked/ransom-wared and that is why they couldn't handle patients other than those who had previously scheduled appointments (hackers are scum!)

That weekend we had a pre-planned dinner with the pepperparents, so we bundle the pup in the car and head out.  While there, I'm in the puppy pen with beagle on a leash to allow her to do her business but not get active before we load her up for the return trip.  She starts nosing at a spot on the ground that almost looks like it was filled with white batting.  Since she'd already drained her bladder I just picked her up and took her to the car.  Texted mom that I thought she might have an animal like a rabbit that moved into the pen and she might want to do something about it.  Mom couldn't figure out where I was talking about so she didn't do anything.

We return the next weekend and puppers goes straight to the same spot, and this time when she tries to dig, the ground independently moves.  There is definitely something alive in there!  I remove puppers to the other side of the yard outside the pen, because digging is on the no-no list for crate rest.  I order some bunny deterrent for the pen that is dog safe (it isn't poison it is just smelly enough that bunnies prefer to hang elsewhere).  Mom plans to have me put it in next time I visit.

But before that can happen, pepperparents' AC goes kaput.  Fortunately the house is dual zone and the AC for the bedroom area is still working, so they don't melt into a sweaty puddle despite the heatwave.  AC man comes out, and starts looking at the unit, but then a snake appears, and he finds a 6 foot long snake skin wrapped around the unit having the issue.  AC man nopes the heck right on out of there.  I seriously do not blame him!

Enter snake man to the cast of characters.  He finds the snake den, and determines that it is a large but common black garden snake.  If snake hadn't decided to move in next to the AC unit, we'd leave him alone, he's not that dangerous.  It's not like it was a spitting cobra or anything like that.  But he's in the way and needs to be relocated.  Snake decides to bolt during this procedure, and ends up in puppy pen where he finds the spot that the beagle had been digging at earlier.  Turns out it was indeed a bunny den.  This actually slows snake down long enough that snake man was actually able to safely capture the snake for relocation.  Sadly the baby bunny ended up as a snake snack.  On the up side the snake wasn't trying to go for the bunny at the same time the beagle was, and the bunny den is now vacant. 

Bunnies, Beagles, and Black snakes Oh My!  It's like the wildlife around here decided to go insane.   And yes we did get peppermom's AC fixed once the snake had left the building. 

OMG I am snake phobic.  I live in an area where there are snakes.  As long as I don't see them, I pretend they aren't there, but, every time I head out first I look outside and see what's on the porch.  The pest control fellow told Mr lookeyloo there was a snake around the garden hose in the back yard.  Guess who hasn't been in the backyard ever again?  Mr lookeyloo took said snake and brought it to the subdivision lake, hopefully never to appear again. However, there is green space behind our house and the fence doesn't keep them out.  

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52 minutes ago, lookeyloo said:

OMG I am snake phobic.  I live in an area where there are snakes.  As long as I don't see them, I pretend they aren't there, but, every time I head out first I look outside and see what's on the porch.  The pest control fellow told Mr lookeyloo there was a snake around the garden hose in the back yard.  Guess who hasn't been in the backyard ever again?  Mr lookeyloo took said snake and brought it to the subdivision lake, hopefully never to appear again. However, there is green space behind our house and the fence doesn't keep them out.  

Me too. A few years ago there was a tiny - maybe 6 inch - garter snake in my flower bed and I screamed like it was a python. This is why I won’t visit Florida.

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15 minutes ago, MargeGunderson said:

This is why I won’t visit Florida.

Snakes and crocs and spiders are why I won't visit Australia. I'll go to Florida to go to Disney and Universal, though. @Scarlett45 are you still planning on visiting WDW this year? My DVC friends didn't renew their annual pass this year. We are hitting Halloween Horror Nights at Universal this year. My daughter and one of the friends went in 2019 and loved it. I'm a big scaredy cat but I still really enjoyed it. We had such a great time we're bringing the husbands along this time. Which, thinking about it, may be a mistake.

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This animal talk hits home with me, but you'll think I'm the biggest wimp in the world. I heard a noise in our fireplace yesterday and even though I couldn't see anything in the firebox, I was convinced a squirrel was in there. I called the wildlife company I used for skunks years ago. I agree to pay double the usual fee to have them come out the same day. It turns out the noise is a bird and it isn't even in any part of the fireplace. I had a blanket ready to throw over my head when he opened the fireplace doors. It turns out that the cap on top is loose and he saw some "nesting materials".  So even though there isn't an actual animal in there, the pecking sound the bird makes is driving me crazy. I ended up putting a bluetooth speaker in the firebox and am playing dance/electronic music loudly. To hopefully repel the bird, but to cover up the noise!

I have a huge aversion to birds as my older sister made me watch "The Birds" when I was young.

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@jjane--You and your niece have been in my thoughts over the past few weeks.  I hope and pray you are able to get her to safety soon.  My heart just aches for her.  This should be the best time of her life, but instead, she's living each day in fear.  An adult cannot even begin to process that, let alone a young woman her age.  Please take care of yourself too.

The last 6 weeks or so has been up & down. I was talking to my mom on Father's Day, and out of nowhere, she tells me her cat passed away while we were talking.  He wasn't sick (that she was aware of), but he was at least 15.  We actually adopted him back in 2007, but he had serious issues with one of our other cats.  He was already returned to the shelter once for not cohabitating nicely, and we didn't want him to get labeled as unadoptable, so off he went to live with my parents.  On an upswing, we finally got to see our parents for the first time in 18 months.  Hugging my mom never felt so good.  And, finally, the biggest up of all.  Mr. Six received a huge promotion at work, effective yesterday.  He's going into a middle to upper management position, which could lead to him becoming an associate later this year.  He has worked so hard for his career, and I am just so incredibly proud of him.  Next step?  President!

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@sixlets Congratulations to Mr. Six on his promotion!

I live in Florida and at our house we have had bats and armadillos as well as occasional black snake. Had to get Wildlife removal company out first for the bats in the eaves of entry way to the house and then later, two armadillos who were digging under the pool equipment. It’s like Wild Kingdom here!

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Our fire is still spreading, with no containment yet.  The wind is blowing right now, and, unfortunately, not in a good direction for me.  Some neighborhoods were evacuated, but none near me (yet).  Still just waiting to hear some news--good or bad.   At least I have some plans as to what to do if I have to leave.  I'm ready for some good news.  The county seems to have evacuation plans in order, and there are pet-friendly and livestock- friendly places set up and ready.  They claim to have plenty of supplies, and that gives confidence, too.  They keep saying in the paper that they hope for containment by 7/31, but new spots just keep popping up.  This is not fun!         

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On 7/21/2021 at 5:43 PM, Jeeves said:

Life is - sometimes odd. I've posted a bit on here about my being the executor of the estate of a longtime friend who died a few months ago. We're now past the phase where I was pretty much daily dealing with something concerning the estate. We got the home cleared, personal property disposed of in various ways, got the place ready to sell and it's now listed for sale. With several showings booked already. I'm adjusting to life where I *don't* have a lot to do about the estate daily. 

And - don't ask how because I can't tell you. [ETA: not that it's a secret, it's just that I don't remember! 🙃 ]. But. I've become hooked on watching furniture flippers on YouTube. I started with the Furniture Flipping Teacher, a young woman who's a kindergarten teacher in Nebraska. She started flipping furniture to make money to pay off her student loans. Which she accomplished this spring. That led me down the rabbit hole to other furniture flippers. People who take thrift store, yard sale, side-of-the-road, and other such low-cost pieces of furniture and rehab/refinish them into an attractive state, and sell them for a profit. Some of those transformations are really "wow" inspiring!

It's been, well, interesting to realize that I'm OLD and the styles I liked all those years ago are now *vintage* to say the least.  🤣  But I'm enjoying my exposure via YouTube to the current styles and looks and fashions on the furniture front. I don't have a handy garage or basement in which to start sanding, mending, and painting furniture so I don't think I'll be doing such things myself. But it's fun to look at the furniture here in my condo and to imagine these things restyled with paint, refinished wood, etc. 

i am in the midst of a painting project at my kids' house here in texas. we are slightly sanding then chalk painting a dining room set to be sealed with polyurethane. also, we will recover the fabric seats. i am teaching her--- its too big a project for me to do alone. my arms wont last. 

On 7/21/2021 at 6:20 PM, jjane said:

As far as being duped by people on this forum, I admit that I have been fooled by a couple of people who were outed by others but I don't see the need to be mean or aggressive if you doubt something. Simply put that person on ignore. Some of us are in situations that cause major stress, I wonder every day if this abused child has attempted suicide again or has been put into yet another mental facility for "observation" based on a bogus report from her mother. Yes, this has actually happened. I have literally been told if I did not take the child in years past that she would do just that because she had plans. Believe it or not, there are horrible parents out there who are able to pull the wool over the eyes of DCFS. Then there is the fact that they are inclined not to believe a child who has been in multiple facilities. This child has told me no one believes anything she says becasue they see her as the crazy girl. While you are doubting my story I am calling the police to do a welfare check, calling attorneys to try to get her to safety, fighting a restraining order that will mean I cannot even talk to the child if she calls me again for help. Occasionally I come to this board to update the people who care and to get a little support. 

i  have a similar but yet different story with my family. if i really told you all, you would accuse me of faking it....but it would all be truth.  so, i sympathize but dont share much. thats why i am suckered in so often. i know my life is real and off the charts sometimes so why would i suspect someone else of lying. 

 

 

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Y'all remember Razing Ruth? She fleeced a lot of people who bought her stories. Her tell, for me, that she was lying was when her stories got more and more convoluted. I still wonder how much money she pulled in from that con?

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On 7/21/2021 at 8:43 PM, Jeeves said:

Life is - sometimes odd. I've posted a bit on here about my being the executor of the estate of a longtime friend who died a few months ago. We're now past the phase where I was pretty much daily dealing with something concerning the estate. We got the home cleared, personal property disposed of in various ways, got the place ready to sell and it's now listed for sale. With several showings booked already. I'm adjusting to life where I *don't* have a lot to do about the estate daily. 

And - don't ask how because I can't tell you. [ETA: not that it's a secret, it's just that I don't remember! 🙃 ]. But. I've become hooked on watching furniture flippers on YouTube. I started with the Furniture Flipping Teacher, a young woman who's a kindergarten teacher in Nebraska. She started flipping furniture to make money to pay off her student loans. Which she accomplished this spring. That led me down the rabbit hole to other furniture flippers. People who take thrift store, yard sale, side-of-the-road, and other such low-cost pieces of furniture and rehab/refinish them into an attractive state, and sell them for a profit. Some of those transformations are really "wow" inspiring!

It's been, well, interesting to realize that I'm OLD and the styles I liked all those years ago are now *vintage* to say the least.  🤣  But I'm enjoying my exposure via YouTube to the current styles and looks and fashions on the furniture front. I don't have a handy garage or basement in which to start sanding, mending, and painting furniture so I don't think I'll be doing such things myself. But it's fun to look at the furniture here in my condo and to imagine these things restyled with paint, refinished wood, etc. 

I really like watching how others have refinished furniture pieces and renovated their homes on you tube too.  I actually refinished an entire bedroom suite when I was in college with little guidance.  This was before you tube.  I later refinished a china cabinet, book shelves, chest of drawers and a few other things, though nothing lately. If I had a good work space, I’d do some more.   It’s amazing how my taste have changed over years.  One day, I’m going to get a trailer hitch so I can hook up a trailer and transport furniture when I want to.  I think I could create some super special pieces that would sell well.  
 

Calicokitty, I’m sure wishing you stay safe from the fires.  And congratulations to your brother on such great news of his devotion book.  He sounds very talented.  Proud indeed!

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Growing up in the south…..I encountered lots of snakes in the yard and forest behind our house, plus on our porch many times.  Some black snakes and some copperheads. 😳Then, I discovered a snake in my bedroom! Not fun.  Also, a large lizard jumped out of a mop that I had left on the deck inside the bathroom as I began cleaning.  I was able to capture it and take it back outside.  I found a opossum under my house once ……man…..fun memories!😆

🦎🐍
 

almost forgot…..discovered two baby raccoons inside my trash bin inside the city of Raleigh in the middle of the day!  I tipped it over so they could get out and they ran away.

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I remember Razing Ruth. I was on the verge of sending her some money when she was exposed. Looking back, there were signs that she was lying but she was very convincing at first.  She is one reason I don't post that much. As Zoomama said, some of us have things going on in our lives that are so bizarre that it would seem they can't possibly be true, but sadly they are. The world is full of grifting, lying, abusive people who cause tremendous problems for their victims and create havoc wherever they go. All we, as their victims,  can do is fight wherever possible and try to get innocent people out of their path. I pray every night for the innocent child caught up in the evil that is her mother. 

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Sharing personal stories, good or bad, is a personal choice. How readers receive the stories is personal too. So I'm not understanding why its 'wrong' to question details and 'right' to believe everything written.

As a therapist I have heard almost everything, so personally on here I give everyone the benefit of doubt initially. But when I decide not to, I decide not to. My choice. 

Kudos to everyone here who is so supportive and kudos to everyone here that respects their Spidey-Senses.

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It is not wrong to question what one hears or reads. It is hurtful to see a situation that is literally dangerous to an innocent child questioned. This situation is one I have talked about on here for a very long time. None of it is fiction. All of it is horrifying to be in the middle of and to watch. There are a couple of people on this board who seem to be determined to "prove" that I am lying. It has been done to others here as well. One of them has literally accused me of writing things that I never wrote. At one time I thought one or both of them was my niece because of the way some of the posts were written.

Having been on the receiving end of evil acts is something not everyone has experienced. As a therapist you should know that victim's stories are not always linear and that one can remember things much later that one had blocked out in self-defense. I know the truth and I know that I am not the only one who thinks my niece will eventually  kill her daughter if the daughter does not succeed in killing herself first. The therapist I took the daughter to expressed just that thought to me and she put it in her complaint to DCFS, which ignored it along with all the other reports of abuse. It is one thing to advise giving everyone the benefit of the doubt. It is quite another to excuse writing hurtful things to someone in the middle of a horrible situation. Doubt all you want, but don't try to hurt people.

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26 minutes ago, GeeGolly said:

Sharing personal stories, good or bad, is a personal choice. How readers receive the stories is personal too. So I'm not understanding why its 'wrong' to question details and 'right' to believe everything written.

As a therapist I have heard almost everything, so personally on here I give everyone the benefit of doubt initially. But when I decide not to, I decide not to. My choice. 

Kudos to everyone here who is so supportive and kudos to everyone here that respects their Spidey-Senses.

As a former moderator I would notice patterns. It helped me handle situations better knowing the patterns of how poster talk about the subject and with each other. But seeing the patterns help incorporate the granular into the bigger picture. 

And absolutely we are under no obligation to read, react, agree, interact, commiserate, advise, believe etc with anyone. 

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I agree that no one here is under an obligation to agree with or believe anyone. I simply don't believe it is the business of anyone here to decide who is lying and who is not. As I said, doubt all you want, but don't accuse people of lying when you are not in any position to know what is going on. 

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Maybe a small talk thread on a tv forum is not the best place to vent or share and expect reactions that IRL friends would have.  I consider myself a good friend IRL, and I care a great deal about the world and the people in it. So much so, that I don’t like to mire people down with my shit. I feel for your plight, jj, but realistically, and rationally,  a thread on a snark forum is not the resource for your particular need.
I say this with all good intentions. Virtual hugs.

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9 minutes ago, GeeGolly said:

Since this seems to be directed at me, I will respond. First, I didn't "advise" anyone in my previous post, nor did I "excuse" anyone for writing hurtful things. 

And yes, as a therapist I do know stories are not always linear, but I would be remiss in doing my job if I didn't acknowledge and explore inconsistencies. For my benefit as a therapist and for the benefit of my client.

I actually have tons of questions, questions I choose not to ask at this time. But I would like to know if any dog owners have dogs on Prozac for anxiety.

 

 

I agree, we need to remember that we are all different and coming from different lives and different experiences.  I read all the posts here and try to understand them and sometimes I ask questions simply because I'm having a hard time getting my head around the story.

When you're living the story, it's natural to feel like you're presenting it in understandable fashion, but, sometimes, these long posts with multiple details are kinda murky to those of us who don't actually know you, who aren't paralegals and whose only experience with restraining orders is from watching Law and Order.  I think many of us who question aren't doing it from a place of scepticism, but more from a place of wanting to understand the situation better.  

We all come together in this place from our own very different lived experiences and, just as we are supportive of those with problems, we need to realize that most questions are not meant to be hurtful, but to promote understanding and help all of us get the bigger picture.

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38 minutes ago, zenme said:

Maybe a small talk thread on a tv forum is not the best place to vent or share and expect reactions that IRL friends would have.  I consider myself a good friend IRL, and I care a great deal about the world and the people in it. So much so, that I don’t like to mire people down with my shit. I feel for your plight, jj, but realistically, and rationally,  a thread on a snark forum is not the resource for your particular need.
I say this with all good intentions. Virtual hugs.

This.  It also seems like there are those who only come here to vent.  That's fine, but, when we don't know anything else about you but your troubles, it's hard to get a handle on who you are as a person when you've never shared anything else with us.  

We're not therapists, we not besties, we're people hanging out on the internet for a whole variety of reasons and, there are many better options than us if you need to vent.

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Scarlett45

This is a reminder that the Politics Policy is still in effect.

I understand with recent current events there may be a desire to discuss political social media posts of those in the Duggar realm- this is not the place for those discussions. If you believe someone has violated forum rules, report them, do not respond or engage.

Political discussion is not allowed in this forum- this includes Small Talk topics. Please stay in the spirit of the policy- I have noticed a tendency for some to follow the letter but not the spirit.

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