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Small Talk: The Prayer Closet

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6 minutes ago, Jeeves said:

OMG, @Scarlett45 - haven't you had ENOUGH sh*t for the year already?? I'm so sorry for this latest trouble. OTOH I'm glad your mom is going to recover and is in good spirits. But still. I'm sorry this happened to her (and you). 

If I had the magic wand to make it so - you would be at Disney World ASAP!!

As bad as 2020 was, 2021 isnt looking that great. I would love a vacation.

Also, today is my great aunt's 87th birthday (the one with dementia that was recently in the hospital). I sent her flowers, she wont eat any solid food so I didnt think it was a good idea to send her pears/cashews (my original idea). I did text my cousin and ask her to keep an eye out for the delivery & about my Mom being in the hospital. I got an emoji and a 2 word reply. 
 

For the record I like emojis, so that wasnt the issue, it was the two word reply. Lets see if I get to talk to my Aunt today. 

Here is Cosmo, when he first came to live with me someone in the thread said he looked like a hug, and I agree. 

B8E0AF81-496C-4750-9CBD-8751588A421F.jpeg

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19 minutes ago, Marshmallow Mollie said:

I want to host a Mother’s Day celebration at my house, but I do worry it would come across as self-indulgent. It would be me, my husband, our young children, his mom, his dad, and his dad’s husband. So there is also another mother (and grandmother) being celebrated. My FILs are already fully vaccinated, but my MIL, my husband, and I will all be fully vaccinated early next week, hence why I am eager to have a family celebration.

You should do what you want. Enjoy while people are alive and willing to celebrate anything! 

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22 minutes ago, Marshmallow Mollie said:

I want to host a Mother’s Day celebration at my house, but I do worry it would come across as self-indulgent. It would be me, my husband, our young children, his mom, his dad, and his dad’s husband. So there is also another mother (and grandmother) being celebrated. My FILs are already fully vaccinated, but my MIL, my husband, and I will all be fully vaccinated early next week, hence why I am eager to have a family celebration.

You are alive and healthy and capable of enjoying the food/beverages and company- DO IT.

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@louannems I'm sorry Mothers Day was like that for you for all of those years. I have a birthday that falls around MD. One year many years ago when my birthday fell on Mother's Day, we asked my MIL if we could see her on Sat. instead because we had plans for my BD. She said, "I don't care what BetyBee does on her birthday, but I expect to see my grandchildren on MD!" I never really forgave her for that one! It really is a Hallmark holiday, but it's nice to get and give special recognition to Moms. 

Host it @Marshmallow Mollie! Everyone will be so appreciative to get together after all this time. Not self indulgent at all!

@Scarlett45 - you've certainly been through the wringer this past year. I hope your Mom heals quickly and I've got fingers crossed that you will get to Disney World one of these days. Meanwhile Cosmo makes everything better!

@ohiopirate - I don't blame you for not wanting to plan anything. Let your brothers take the lead for a change!

We're getting new floors this week. There was so much prep work (we're on a slab) that it just felt like dust and destruction the first 2 days. Now he's laying the floors and they look great! Our contractor is a perfectionist, so it's slow going, but we are going to love the end result!

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Mother's Day has an interesting history. It actually came before Hallmark. I wouldn't be surprised if it actually helped Hallmark grow though.

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@SCARLETT45, I'm sorry that 2021 has been a shitstorm for you so far.  I so much hope you get the vacation you need and deserve.

I didn't realize that Mother's Day was so fraught for so many people.  It should be a lovely day that does not put pressure on women.  It's kind of disgusting that for some women, it is some other woman who gets the fuss.  I don't think it requires big gifts and festivities, but a little acknowledge is called for.  (I will qualify that in that there are mothers who don't even deserve to be called mother.)

My daughter gives me a card and flowers usually.  My ex-husband was always good about doing the same and I even got a card when I was pregnant with my only child.

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8 hours ago, Jeanne222 said:

Good morning!  I have a question for anybody this morning.  Mother's day is approaching and I'm curious if you gift your daughters and daughters in law?

I haven't in the past but was thinking about doing that this year.  A monetary gift for something special they would like.

The problem is I don't want to get in between the gifting my grandchildren do to their parents!

I was buying a card for my friends birthday and happened upon mother's day cards and saw daughter and daughter in law.  Something I never thought of doing.

My husband and I decided when we first had children we wouldn't gift each other because we never wanted our gifts from our children of plaster hands and cards to be outshined by bought gifts.

Thanks for any input!

I started giving my DILs and sons a combined Mother's Day and Father's Day gift. One year I got them Garrett's popcorn and Fannie Mae chocolates, this year I ordered a gift box of Girl Scout cookies.  I used to gift separately and give the girls a pot of flowers for their porch and the boys some BBQ spices or such. 

I've made it a point to tell them that since they're parents now they should celebrate with their kids. My mother always said the same for me. In fact, the day before she died was Mother's Day and I was visiting her in her rehab facility. She wasn't feeling well and after about 30 minutes she told me to go home to my own kids. I stayed because she wasn't doing well, but I appreciated the thought.  

 

Edited by realityfan26
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3 hours ago, Turquoise said:

Posted by @lascuba on Jessa's thread:

Didn't she have a framed BJ on the wall shortly after they married? Didn't last long once the boards noticed and mocked, iirc.

I'm not sure if that or Jim Bob going on about wanting a big D when he saw the giant V at the Vuolo wedding is my favorite unintentional filth.

 

I know a young couple around my son's age...wife is very sheltered, parents are Quiverfull, she was homeschooled. When she got engaged, she got huge light-up letters of their initials and the ampersand: T & A. And she used them for ALL events...engagement party? T & A! Bridal shower T & A! You get the point. My inner 12 year old boy was highly amused, but the groom went to public school, and was on the football team with my son. He HAD to know the alternate meaning. But I guess he didn't want to admit to her that he possessed such unholy knowledge...

Imagine the disappointment of the women who attended the bachelorette party.

I can't decide if the groom not saying anything is sweet or brilliantly evil.

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My mother’s latest boyfriend is a registered child sex offender. I have young children. 
 

So, yeah, I am also in the crowd that has a really hard time with Mother’s Day. Part of the reason I want to change it up and throw a party this year for me and my MIL.

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Ah, Mother’s Day. I remember one year we all got together for some reason before Mother’s Day. Don’t remember why, but we all had a hot dog BBQ that week before for some reason. And we ALL got sick. We called it the “wiener flu.” There was no way any of us were going to get together for Mother’s Day. Well, my mother had the biggest hissy fit because OMG IT’S MOTHER’S DAY AND YOU DON’T LOVE ME. It was horrible. We tried to tell her it is just a day, and we can celebrate the next week. And we would still love her. She didn’t understand the Hallmark Holiday aspect of the day. Horrible memory.

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We are  a day shift, second shift, and third shift family, this includes weekends. We have been known to celebrate holidays, and birthdays before, after, and even sometimes on the actual day. We plan things so far in advance, it’s nuts!

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This will be the first MD since my mom passed away earlier this year. So that will be tough. Both my kids live far away from me, so I’m hoping Ozzie, my furbaby, at least gets me a card. I can rely on my two sisters to send me card, so that’s nice. Mother’s Day should not be stressful, but unfortunately it seems to work out that way.

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I always send my daughter and daughters-in-law cards for Mother’s Day since they are mamas too. Same for sons on Father’s Day. We are very proud of them as parents and like to acknowledge that. 
 

So sorry @Scarlett45, for your mom’s surgery. You NEED a Disney world vacation. I hope she heals quickly and well.

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My daughter has expressed a need to “lick her wounds” and will not be celebrating MD with me this year. A bit disappointing because it’s also her birthday. I am not going to have a hissy fit or make her feel guilty in any way for this. She is upset enough these days and I love her too much to add to her already full plate. I will, however, get in touch with my grandchildren to make sure that they make cards or do something to celebrate her this year. 
 

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All holidays in our home fall somewhere between nothing and grand. What they do provide for us is a guaranteed family day.

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My mother never made a big deal about Mother's Day partly because of the Hallmark factor but also because her mother, always made such a HUGE deal about it.  Admittedly, as we grew up we joked with Mom (but not really) that every day is Mother's Day. 

This year it will be special because I'm going to be visiting my sister and Mom will be there too and we all haven't seen each other in over a year.  So it will be a nice day.  😃

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My birthday falls on Mothers Day every so often. I'm not a mom, never have been. I don't begrudge moms, but it gets annoying when my birthday gets overlooked on Mother's day.

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3 hours ago, beckie said:

My birthday falls on Mothers Day every so often. I'm not a mom, never have been. I don't begrudge moms, but it gets annoying when my birthday gets overlooked on Mother's day.

I can see where that would be annoying.

I feel sorry for my daughters because my birthday is generally about a week before Mother's Day, amidst a very crowded spring and early summer for our immediate families.   I'm the only daughter or DIL in mine or my husband's families, so I'm used to carrying the load of all of the holiday expectations for both families for the past couple decades.  It gets old.   

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3 hours ago, beckie said:

My birthday falls on Mothers Day every so often. I'm not a mom, never have been. I don't begrudge moms, but it gets annoying when my birthday gets overlooked on Mother's day.

I can relate. I experience this every year because my birthday is on Valentines Day.

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17 hours ago, ozziemom said:

This will be the first MD since my mom passed away earlier this year. So that will be tough.

I'm so sorry. I know how that feels. My mom died in October. Just before the first Mother's Day after her death, I was in the copy room at work and a colleague was complaining about having to visit both her own mom and her husband's mom and how hectic a day it was going to be. I just had to leave the room.

I'm not a mom, my mom's been gone since 2007, my MIL has been gone since 2011, my sister's not a mom. Around here, we call Mother's Day "Sunday." I do wish all the email marketers would let you opt out of holidays that don't apply to you. I do not need email after email about what to get for Mother's Day.

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4 hours ago, iwantcookies said:

I wonder if all the Josh talk will crash this site.

Nah, if the Oscars can't crash it, it's pretty solid. Aside from all the other bugs, of course. At least they fixed the white box, and we can see poster's names in full again. Yay!

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First Mother’s Day without Sweet Son. I will hear from other son and family.  We send a card to daughter in law. She is a great mom. 

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@lookeyloo - I'll be thinking of you on Mother's Day. A day like that can be so sad after a terrible loss like the loss of Sweet Son. So sad for those whose mothers are gone too. So kind of you to reach out to DIL with love on that day. ❤️

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9 hours ago, lookeyloo said:

First Mother’s Day without Sweet Son.

I'm so sorry. I wish I had magic words to make it better. My kids have all grown up and moved away. They do call though on Mother's day. And calls from the grandkids too.  

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9 hours ago, lookeyloo said:

First Mother’s Day without Sweet Son. I will hear from other son and family.  We send a card to daughter in law. She is a great mom. 

I am so sorry @lookeyloo .

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12 hours ago, lookeyloo said:

First Mother’s Day without Sweet Son. I will hear from other son and family.  We send a card to daughter in law. She is a great mom. 

I'm so sorry, @lookeyloo. My mom has been through it. This will be the only "first" Mother's Day. Get through this one, and you'll never have to go through it for the first time ever again. <3

Im waiting for my surgery (very minor) and honestly this Josh stuff has at least been a good distraction! 

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17 minutes ago, xtwheeler said:

 

Im waiting for my surgery (very minor) and honestly this Josh stuff has at least been a good distraction! 

Hope it goes well! 

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Sooo I decided to leave things alone for Mothers day.  I bought the cards, wrote a message, told them to buy something they have been wanting then changed my mind.

I might go and buy more cards and send them off without cash.  I had put a sizeable bill in each one then thought would our monetary gift over ride the gifts from their children?  Would it then be expected every year?  

We send monetary gifts birthdays and Christmas.  I think I'll leave it at that!

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@Turquoise:  Thanks for the lovely photo of the azaleas 🌺.  They are one of the things that make spring so special for me.  I love the different colors they bloom in.

I also love forsythia.  Those yellow flowers just shout “spring” to me.  However, there is this one lowly forsythia bush that is planted at the back of my church.  The church is a old stone building that hold the warmth, and this bush has been known to have a few blossoms even in December.  
 

But I think my favorite of all are the lilacs.  The color is amazing and the scent is wonderful.  They are usually out in time for Mother’s Day, and I have begun to see a few of the local bushes with their blossoms.

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I'm a little upset about my Mom. She canceled her 2nd vaccine at the last minute, stubbornly refusing to go. She has decided that the first shot is enough. She is almost past the 4 day window to get her 2nd Pfizer, so we'll probably have to start all over and try to get her a J&J, since she's only willing to do one. So, we'll still be masked around her and I will not be able to hug her on Mother's Day like I planned. 😔 

She is also refusing to do her PT exercises and has a terrible time getting in and out of bed, though she was shown an easier way to do so by her home health PT. She's not moving enough and my siblings and I are concerned that her muscles will waste away. Basically, I think she's giving up. My sister who takes her to most of her doctor appointments is burned out, so the other 3 of us who are able will have to step in and do some appointments (my sister is a true first born and it was her choice to do all the medical stuff), which is a good thing. Except that taking her anywhere is increasingly difficult. We have an SUV and she can no longer get into higher vehicles like that, so I don't know how we'll manage, but we will. The last time I took her to the doctor, she was more mobile and just used a cane. Now she requires a wheelchair to go into the doctor's office. She doesn't go anywhere else. She's only been downstairs once in her own house in the last couple of weeks. Her mind is fine, thankfully and my brother lives with her, so she's got eyes on her 24/7. But her stubbornness is frustrating for us. 

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5 minutes ago, BetyBee said:

I'm a little upset about my Mom. She canceled her 2nd vaccine at the last minute, stubbornly refusing to go. She has decided that the first shot is enough. She is almost past the 4 day window to get her 2nd Pfizer, so we'll probably have to start all over and try to get her a J&J, since she's only willing to do one. So, we'll still be masked around her and I will not be able to hug her on Mother's Day like I planned. 😔 

Don't sweat the 17-22 day window.  That is how the vaccination schedule was tested and so how it was approved in the US, but she can get the second shot safely for the next few weeks at least.  Some other countries have been giving the shots on a very different schedule and its working just fine.

As for the other issues, has she started a new medication that could be causing depression?  So sorry you are dealing with all this.

Edited by Bewitched
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@BetyBee, I'm so sorry you have to deal with your mom's behavior. Your comment that she may be giving up, may be (sadly) on target. If there's something else that's causing her self-neglect, I hope it can be diagnosed and treated.

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1 hour ago, BetyBee said:

I'm a little upset about my Mom. She canceled her 2nd vaccine at the last minute, stubbornly refusing to go. She has decided that the first shot is enough. She is almost past the 4 day window to get her 2nd Pfizer, so we'll probably have to start all over and try to get her a J&J, since she's only willing to do one. So, we'll still be masked around her and I will not be able to hug her on Mother's Day like I planned. 😔 

 

CDC says that you can go 6 weeks between the first and second shot, so there may be hope to get her her second one yet.

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Thank you all for the info re having up to 6 weeks between vaccines. Maybe I can get Mom in somewhere. It gives me some breathing room! My burned out sis is going away for 3 weeks and I want to take the burden of worry off of her while she's on vacation. I have a sis who lives 5 minutes from Mom, but she already does a lot and is crazy busy, so I'm going to take this on. Fingers crossed that I can find a place that will give her a 2nd vaccine! Though burned out sister has tried and not been successful. 

@Bewitched, I don't think any of her medications are necessarily making Mom depressed. She's always had down times and it's understandable now that her back is giving her so much pain, that she would be depressed. It's also difficult to be the last of her generation. All of her brothers and their wives are gone. The pandemic has not helped, since she's seen so little of us "kids" due to social distancing. She adores my brother who lives with her and they have a good relationship. She's always been a sedentary person, not much interested in keeping busy. She worked of course, and was a good worker, but she was not a hands on Mom, not very involved in our lives. She reads a lot and watches too much TV. She talks to at least one of us (I have 6 siblings) every day, often more. Because her only bathroom is on the 2nd floor, she's been stuck upstairs since she got compressed discs (In February). Her world has shrunk so much. She has good basic health, but I don't know how long that will hold now that she's not eating as much or moving enough. We all worry about her! 

I apologize for writing a book here, but it sure does help to get input and encouragement!

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15 minutes ago, BetyBee said:

Thank you all for the info re having up to 6 weeks between vaccines.

You can probably even go longer.  I know someone who caught COVID between dose 1 and dose 2 who is getting the second dose almost 3 months after the first one.  His doctor said it's more important to just get the second dose than to be picky about the interval.  This is even with the man having a mild case of COVID.

Has she been tried on any anti-depressants.  A low dose really helped my elderly mom.  Plus it might help with her pain.  Good luck.  It's hard, but you know you're doing all you can and that's important.

Edited by Absolom
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@BetyBee, I don't know if this applies in your situation, but a while back in this thread many posters talked about undiagnosed UTIs having all kinds of odd secondary symptoms with older folks. Like I said I don't know if it applies, but I thought I throw it out there.

As far as the 2nd vax, what @Absolom said. 👆🏽

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44 minutes ago, GeeGolly said:

@BetyBee, I don't know if this applies in your situation, but a while back in this thread many posters talked about undiagnosed UTIs having all kinds of odd secondary symptoms with older folks. Like I said I don't know if it applies, but I thought I throw it out there.

Definitely.  My mother gets quite cranky, weak, and her dementia easily doubles or quadruples.  She ended up in the ER last month from falling due to a bad UTI.  

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Those with dementia can require a whole new approach to care. Once my cousin’s dementia reached a certain level....she was not capable of making sound healthcare decisions, so I stepped in with my Healthcare POA and Durable POA.   Fortunately, she wasn’t resistant and welcomed it. 

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I've been making my mother's decisions for years.  Sometimes it's hard to tell when it's time to take over.

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I am so pissed.  I  was at a dogs birthday party today where I used to live and my old fundie neighbors were there. We started talking about Smuggar and they said all he did was look at pictures and did not harm anyone so no one was hurt by looking and he will be found not guilty of all charges. 

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5 minutes ago, Rabbittron said:

I am so pissed.  I  was at a dogs birthday party today where I used to live and my old fundie neighbors were there. We started talking about Smuggar and they said all he did was look at pictures and did not harm anyone so no one was hurt by looking and he will be found not guilty of all charges. 

That’s the way they are looking at this and explains the way the Duggers and others like them are feeling and responding!

Evidently the Feds and society don’t feel that way and are giving Josh three hots  and a cot until his arraignment!

 

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37 minutes ago, Rabbittron said:

I  was at a dogs birthday party today

First of all, I *LOVE* that you were at a dog’s birthday party!

Smuggar was arrested and charged by the Feds. Serious stuff. He WILL be looking at jail time!

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@Turquoise

Congratulations on moving into your new house!  May you and your family enjoy many happy and healthy days in it!

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16 minutes ago, Turquoise said:

I am jumping ahead on good news Sunday. We moved into our house today! The movers ran late, so I was upset that I felt like hours were wasted. But we’re here, we had a nice dinner with my parents, our dog got to go on a walk around the new neighborhood, our bedroom is liveable, and I’m in my recliner with gelato. The rest of the pieces will fall into place.

Congrats on your new home. 

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A neighbor used to give her dog a birthday party 

She is the only one I know who did that 

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We celebrate "adoption day" at my house since we don't know when our rescue dog's actual birthday is.  We sing to him and he gets doggy ice cream.  But it's just our immediate family.

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I am planning a doggy birthday party for Pik Pike in 2 weeks he will be 22 years old. Just took him to the vet and other than he is blind and deaf he is in perfect health. 

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Scarlett45

This is a reminder that the Politics Policy is still in effect.

I understand with recent current events there may be a desire to discuss political social media posts of those in the Duggar realm- this is not the place for those discussions. If you believe someone has violated forum rules, report them, do not respond or engage.

Political discussion is not allowed in this forum- this includes Small Talk topics. Please stay in the spirit of the policy- I have noticed a tendency for some to follow the letter but not the spirit.

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