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Small Talk: The Prayer Closet

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9 minutes ago, Jynnan tonnix said:

I tried to edit my post earlier, as the first photo came out so big that you couldn't see the entire thing without scrolling, but I don't see an edit button anymore. Don't know whether one ever showed up, as I just came back here after dinner, but it does sound as though they have an abundance of bugs with this update...

 

And (since I can't edit anymore, I have to write a whole new post), what happened to that little arrow that enabled you to go back up to the top of the page at any time? I found that really useful!

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Thank you all for your advice, I wanted to give a quick update. I’ve taken everyone’s advice, my pupp is staying in my room, no kennel and he loves it. I am taking him for daily walks (which we could not do with Picks, he had multiple back surgeries and could not do walks without pain) and he’s enjoying that. I’ve left him alone once for one hour and left him inside with free reign of the house (which has never happened) so he was not crying for me at the door and seemed to be ok. I also took him to the vet, talked about strategies to keep him entertained and did a full exam/blood work and he has a clean bill of health. I was warned he’s getting older so it can change at any time 😭😭
 

It’s been tough but I think my little man is going to come out of this nothing short of spoiled rotten. I still can’t talk about him without crying BUT spoiling my boy has helped. 
 

thank you all for your advice, condolences and hugs, I appreciate them all!

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38 minutes ago, NotthebadVictoria said:

Thank you all for your advice, I wanted to give a quick update. I’ve taken everyone’s advice, my pupp is staying in my room, no kennel and he loves it. I am taking him for daily walks (which we could not do with Picks, he had multiple back surgeries and could not do walks without pain) and he’s enjoying that. I’ve left him alone once for one hour and left him inside with free reign of the house (which has never happened) so he was not crying for me at the door and seemed to be ok. I also took him to the vet, talked about strategies to keep him entertained and did a full exam/blood work and he has a clean bill of health. I was warned he’s getting older so it can change at any time 😭😭
 

It’s been tough but I think my little man is going to come out of this nothing short of spoiled rotten. I still can’t talk about him without crying BUT spoiling my boy has helped. 
 

thank you all for your advice, condolences and hugs, I appreciate them all!

So glad it's going well for you and the pup. ❤️ 

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4 hours ago, Jynnan tonnix said:

I tried to edit my post earlier, as the first photo came out so big that you couldn't see the entire thing without scrolling, but I don't see an edit button anymore. Don't know whether one ever showed up, as I just came back here after dinner, but it does sound as though they have an abundance of bugs with this update...

Yeah, there's a LOT wrong with this update. But I found how to edit a post. See those three little dots up at the top right corner of the post? Click on them, and if you are the author of the post, there's a little "edit" icon you can click. Why they just didn't write "edit" instead of using that icon, since they wrote out the words "report" and "share," I have no clue.  🙄

Screenshot:

1891655347_ScreenShot2021-04-16at9_41_09PM.jpg.6b9b060d62985be977ba338ac23f99ab.jpg

Edited by Jeeves · Reason: just to try this forked up new system
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Testing. Ignore this post.

Nope, no three dots on my post box. All the icons appear on the bottom of the box as they did before the update. I've graduated to my tablet. I never post to message boards from my laptop. 😁

Edited by emmawoodhouse

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4 hours ago, QuinnInND said:

So we had career day one day this week, where the kids came dressed as what they want to be. In my class, we had one teacher, one vet, one basketball player, one policeman, one firefighter, 2 NASA engineers, a radiologist, 2 nurses, a pilot, a plumber, and 3 astronauts. The tiny humans had great costumes. 

On day I was teaching a music lesson in a first grade glass (I was the traveling music teacher).  We were learning and singing about Johnny Appleseed, as I remember.  Suddenly this little boy raises his hand and announces to everyone that when he grows up, he wants to be a Union Plumber.  Not a plumber, a UNION plumber.  Ok.  We went back to our instruments and Johnny Appleseed.  I wonder what Johnny Appleseed and plumbing have in common, and I guess I'll never know.  Some things you just can't explain.

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1 hour ago, emmawoodhouse said:

Testing. Ignore this post.

Nope, no three dots on my post box. All the icons appear on the bottom of the box as they did before the update. I've graduated to my tablet. I never post to message boards from my laptop. 😁

I am posting this on my iPad. I see a couple of icons at the bottom of the posts and also the three dots up in the right hand top corner. Overall the new forum navigation is not friendly for this user. 😒

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14 minutes ago, Jeeves said:

I am posting this on my iPad. I see a couple of icons at the bottom of the posts and also the three dots up in the right hand top corner. Overall the new forum navigation is not friendly for this user. 😒

How bizarre that you get the dots on your iPad, but I don't get them on my cheapass Fire. Oh well, let's wait and see what the next update brings (hopefully our homepages!).

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1 minute ago, DangerousMinds said:

Does anyone know where our private messages have gone?

Mine haven't gone anywhere. 🤔

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32 minutes ago, emmawoodhouse said:

Mine haven't gone anywhere. 🤔

Oh, I see them now. It’s just very hard to see the icons.

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8 hours ago, Jeeves said:

Yeah, there's a LOT wrong with this update. But I found how to edit a post. See those three little dots up at the top right corner of the post? Click on them, and if you are the author of the post, there's a little "edit" icon you can click. Why they just didn't write "edit" instead of using that icon, since they wrote out the words "report" and "share," I have no clue.  🙄

Screenshot:

1891655347_ScreenShot2021-04-16at9_41_09PM.jpg.6b9b060d62985be977ba338ac23f99ab.jpg

Thanks. I see them now. I'm pretty sure I tried them before, since they looked a bit like the ones on Facebook, but they ended up being something else. I may have dreamed that or something, though.

I really, really don't like this new setup. 

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I don't see the three dots on my Samsung tablet.  I  think this "upgrade " is more of a downgrade  for me personally.

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This is so odd.  I don't get the three dots, but the pencil icon for edit is back for me.  The new version of the software should give the three dots.  It's used some other places I venture. 

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15 minutes ago, Absolom said:

This is so odd.  I don't get the three dots, but the pencil icon for edit is back for me.  The new version of the software should give the three dots.  It's used some other places I venture. 

I have the three dots but no pencil icon just report and share.

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Thank you @chilis.  I'm very appreciative that you de-lurked to share your expertise!  

All of the information we've shared over the last few days about "golden years" planning has been scary for me, but also very necessary to know!

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My mother-in-law was in a couple of memory-care facilities for the past five years or so until she passed away earlier this year. She declined drastically during those years from being at least somewhat self-reliant, ( but too confused to really be left on her own for very long - especially overnight, as she had a tendency to think she was back in some time and place from the past and go wandering) to being confined to a wheelchair, unable to do anything unaided, and almost non-communicative. 

Medicare did eventually kick in, but we were told from the beginning that whatever assets she had would have to cover three years before it did. Luckily, between the sale of her house, and some investments she had inherited from her mother, it just about did. I think we ultimately paid for a couple of months, but the last couple of years were, thankfully, covered.

I'm not really sure what the standard is, to be honest.

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23 minutes ago, Jynnan tonnix said:

Medicare did eventually kick in, but we were told from the beginning that whatever assets she had would have to cover three years before it did.

That would have been Medicaid.  Medicare won't cover custodial care. Also Medicare is not assets or income based. 

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So this is interesting.  While watching Prince Phillips funeral this morning I got a blind spot now a headache!

I haven't had that or a headache in 30 years.  Could this possibly be from the Covid vaccine?

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2 minutes ago, Jeanne222 said:

So this is interesting.  While watching Prince Phillips funeral this morning I got a blind spot now a headache!

I haven't had that or a headache in 30 years.  Could this possibly be from the Covid vaccine?

Headaches are a side effect of the vaccine. 

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17 minutes ago, Jeanne222 said:

So this is interesting.  While watching Prince Phillips funeral this morning I got a blind spot now a headache!

I haven't had that or a headache in 30 years.  Could this possibly be from the Covid vaccine?

How long ago did you have the vaccination?  Within just a few days would be quite normal.  I had a headache the day after with both doses.

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15 minutes ago, Ohiopirate02 said:

Headaches are a side effect of the vaccine. 

It’s been over a month since I got my second shot!

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59 minutes ago, Absolom said:

That would have been Medicaid.  Medicare won't cover custodial care. Also Medicare is not assets or income based. 

Thanks! For some reason my brain never seems to file those two words properly.

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In my 15 minute wait after Covid vax #1 😅😊

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I can't clear read notifications.  No tab to shoot to the top of the page.  

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8 minutes ago, emmawoodhouse said:

Hallelujah! The customized homepage is back! 

I was just coming to say the same thing. Finally!

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I don't mean to take such a morbid turn, but for those who lost a pet at home, what steps did you take in the immediate timeframe afterwards?  Our sweet Millie is in her final days, and our vet is closed until Monday morning.  After our one and only visit to the pet er, we know we don't want to take her there.  We are doing what we can to make her comfortable at home.  She did eat a substantial amount of wet food today, and she is still drinking, but she's very unsteady on her feet.  

The vet has her estimated age at 15 years, and we've had her 12 1/2 years.  She came to us a fluffy, sassy, 20lb Maine Coon, and she's currently around 4 pounds and is so frail.  We've done this twice before, but they both passed away at the vet.  I just don't know what to do if we lost her before Monday morning...

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My sister wrote me another email. Telling me more about herself, and asking questions. Why I left (which wasn't explained to her, and even now, my mother won't elaborate apparently) where I went, what I did to survive, why I never came back or made contact again.  She remembers being told to stay away from me when she was little, but never got told why. She just did it. She asked if I knew why my stepfather (her bio dad) didn't like me.  He was a good dad to her from what she said. She also told me about her life and what's she's doing now. She said she's not demanding (and the way it was written was in no way demanding) , but just wants me to share what I want. 

How much do I tell her? And how do I tell her?  I don't want to blow her questions off. I don't want to shock her or anything. 

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35 minutes ago, sixlets said:

I don't mean to take such a morbid turn, but for those who lost a pet at home, what steps did you take in the immediate timeframe afterwards?  Our sweet Millie is in her final days, and our vet is closed until Monday morning.  After our one and only visit to the pet er, we know we don't want to take her there.  We are doing what we can to make her comfortable at home.  She did eat a substantial amount of wet food today, and she is still drinking, but she's very unsteady on her feet.  

The vet has her estimated age at 15 years, and we've had her 12 1/2 years.  She came to us a fluffy, sassy, 20lb Maine Coon, and she's currently around 4 pounds and is so frail.  We've done this twice before, but they both passed away at the vet.  I just don't know what to do if we lost her before Monday morning...

I would keep the pet crematorium number in your phone. If you live in a major city they should accept your pet 24/7 if she passes at home. 

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13 minutes ago, QuinnInND said:

My sister wrote me another email. Telling me more about herself, and asking questions. Why I left (which wasn't explained to her, and even now, my mother won't elaborate apparently) where I went, what I did to survive, why I never came back or made contact again.  She remembers being told to stay away from me when she was little, but never got told why. She just did it. She asked if I knew why my stepfather (her bio dad) didn't like me.  He was a good dad to her from what she said. She also told me about her life and what's she's doing now. She said she's not demanding (and the way it was written was in no way demanding) , but just wants me to share what I want. 

How much do I tell her? And how do I tell her?  I don't want to blow her questions off. I don't want to shock her or anything. 

Maybe tell her that if you tell her why you left it may change the way she feels about her Mom and Dad and the reasons are best left in the past. I would think knowing how bad you were treated by her Dad and the fact your Mom did not protect you would change her feelings towards them. 

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19 minutes ago, QuinnInND said:

My sister wrote me another email. Telling me more about herself, and asking questions. Why I left (which wasn't explained to her, and even now, my mother won't elaborate apparently) where I went, what I did to survive, why I never came back or made contact again.  She remembers being told to stay away from me when she was little, but never got told why. She just did it. She asked if I knew why my stepfather (her bio dad) didn't like me.  He was a good dad to her from what she said. She also told me about her life and what's she's doing now. She said she's not demanding (and the way it was written was in no way demanding) , but just wants me to share what I want. 

How much do I tell her? And how do I tell her?  I don't want to blow her questions off. I don't want to shock her or anything. 

 

Just now, crazycatlady58 said:

Maybe tell her that if you tell her why you left it may change the way she feels about her Mom and Dad and the reasons are best left in the past. I would think knowing how bad you were treated by her Dad and the fact your Mom did not protect you would change her feelings towards them. 

I understand what @crazycatlady58 is saying, but your sister is an adult who’s lived in the world a bit. If a teenage girl hates her step father and leaves home and NEVER returns home or contacts anyone, an adult can probably guess some reasons why- even if they wouldn’t want to believe those things about parents they love. 
 

I think @QuinnInND you should tell her whatever makes YOU feel comfortable- she asked directly; your answers should be about what’s best for you at the end of the day. 

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1 hour ago, sixlets said:

I don't mean to take such a morbid turn, but for those who lost a pet at home, what steps did you take in the immediate timeframe afterwards?  Our sweet Millie is in her final days, and our vet is closed until Monday morning.  After our one and only visit to the pet er, we know we don't want to take her there.  We are doing what we can to make her comfortable at home.  She did eat a substantial amount of wet food today, and she is still drinking, but she's very unsteady on her feet.  

The vet has her estimated age at 15 years, and we've had her 12 1/2 years.  She came to us a fluffy, sassy, 20lb Maine Coon, and she's currently around 4 pounds and is so frail.  We've done this twice before, but they both passed away at the vet.  I just don't know what to do if we lost her before Monday morning...

This is exactly how our beloved Mitzi declined. You probably have more time than you think. ❤

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1 hour ago, sixlets said:

I don't mean to take such a morbid turn, but for those who lost a pet at home, what steps did you take in the immediate timeframe afterwards?  Our sweet Millie is in her final days, and our vet is closed until Monday morning.  After our one and only visit to the pet er, we know we don't want to take her there.  We are doing what we can to make her comfortable at home.  She did eat a substantial amount of wet food today, and she is still drinking, but she's very unsteady on her feet.  

The vet has her estimated age at 15 years, and we've had her 12 1/2 years.  She came to us a fluffy, sassy, 20lb Maine Coon, and she's currently around 4 pounds and is so frail.  We've done this twice before, but they both passed away at the vet.  I just don't know what to do if we lost her before Monday morning...

I'm so sorry to hear this.  If you've used a pet crematorium before, you can give them a call and usually they will come and pick up your beloved.  If you don't have a crematorium you've used and cannot find one with 24 hour service like Scarlett suggested, it is possible to simply keep your pet's body until the vet opens on Monday and take her there.

I once lost a dog on the 4th of July, she weighed 90 lbs, no pet crematoriums would pick her up or they weren't open.  So, I simply covered her with a blanket, and, with the assistance of a neighbor, put her in my car and drove to the vet's office the next morning where the crematory picked her up.

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Sixlets, you've got some good advice above. My uncle's old dog passed away before a holiday weekend and nothing was open, so he put him in a cardboard box wrapped in blankets and kept him in the garage until he could take him to be cremated. Hugs to you, watching a beloved pet decline is heartbreaking. I think many of us have been there before.

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10 hours ago, emmawoodhouse said:

This is exactly how our beloved Mitzi declined. You probably have more time than you think. ❤

It sounds a lot like the way our Meices declined as well...She was pretty much this way for a good couple of months, and, in retrospect, we should have let her go sooner, as I'm sure she was suffering, but the vet we were taking her to would not mention putting her down without our bringing it up, and refused to actually lead us to make that decision, even though it would clearly have been a kindness in the last couple of weeks. She did pass at home; in her final days she could barely move from her bed, and the only food she got was the little bits we managed to hand-feed her. We buried her in the backyard, deep under a good solid stone, so nothing could get to her. I don't know what local laws are on that in other places, but we are in a rural area where, as far as I know, there is nothing prohibiting it. There's a nice mulberry tree right next to her now.

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Good news Sunday:

I am still trying to do 10,000 steps a day and no soda! 
 

And had to stop being “friends” with someone who wouldn’t stop trying to convert me. Telling me if I don’t convert I will burn in hell is very unappealing!

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16 hours ago, QuinnInND said:

My sister wrote me another email. Telling me more about herself, and asking questions. Why I left (which wasn't explained to her, and even now, my mother won't elaborate apparently) where I went, what I did to survive, why I never came back or made contact again.  She remembers being told to stay away from me when she was little, but never got told why. She just did it. She asked if I knew why my stepfather (her bio dad) didn't like me.  He was a good dad to her from what she said. She also told me about her life and what's she's doing now. She said she's not demanding (and the way it was written was in no way demanding) , but just wants me to share what I want. 

How much do I tell her? And how do I tell her?  I don't want to blow her questions off. I don't want to shock her or anything. 

I think you should tell her the broad strokes of what happened to you. Not details just that you were abused in multiple ways by her father and her mother was complicit. She needs to know at least some of it to understand why you don't her mother. 

It's possible she knows more than she's saying and is playing you. I think there's still a chance she's trying to reconcile you with your mom and her motives are questionable. I wouldn't necessarily believe everything she says. 

19 minutes ago, iwantcookies said:

Good news Sunday:

I am still trying to do 10,000 steps a day and no soda! 
 

And had to stop being “friends” with someone who wouldn’t stop trying to convert me. Telling me if I don’t convert I will burn in hell is very unappealing!

Yeah, fundies make bad friends. This person was using you so they could "save you".

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Thank you all for the kind replies.  She passed away a little after noon today in one of her favorite boxes in the kitchen.  Mr. Six & I were both with her.  I did some research last night, and we had/have no options with it being a weekend.  The closest thing I could find required you to be a resident of Baltimore City, and we are literally less than 3 miles into the county.  We will be calling our vet in the morning to make further arrangements.  It was as peaceful as we could have hoped, and I know this is just the beginning of a new normal.  We still have two babies that need us, and I think they will be a great help in the healing process.  Thank you all again.

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Oh Sixlet, I’m so sorry for your loss. I’m glad for you and her that she was at home, and it was peaceful. 

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@sixlets Life is so very fragile.  I am so very sorry for your loss of your precious one. 
 

Sometimes  it’s older ones ready to go and other times we are shocked when somebody young leaves us. 
 

I asked earlier in the week about our absent daughter and what to do. Her birthday is today. 
Such a happy time so many years ago. 
 

Thank you for the helpful, kind responses. 
 

I sent her a Happy Birthday text early this morning.   No response but I did the best I could do under the circumstances. 
 

Relationships are certainly challenging!

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20 hours ago, QuinnInND said:

My sister wrote me another email. Telling me more about herself, and asking questions. Why I left (which wasn't explained to her, and even now, my mother won't elaborate apparently) where I went, what I did to survive, why I never came back or made contact again.  She remembers being told to stay away from me when she was little, but never got told why. She just did it. She asked if I knew why my stepfather (her bio dad) didn't like me.  He was a good dad to her from what she said. She also told me about her life and what's she's doing now. She said she's not demanding (and the way it was written was in no way demanding) , but just wants me to share what I want. 

How much do I tell her? And how do I tell her?  I don't want to blow her questions off. I don't want to shock her or anything. 

i am confused (as usual). did you send her your email? how did she make contact with you? the last i heard, you were still debating responding. i think, as some have said above, truth is good , but in increments at a time. also as was mentioned above, it COULD be a game with the mother to see if you will tell the truth.  i think you need to go with your gut on this one. 

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8 hours ago, Jynnan tonnix said:

It sounds a lot like the way our Meices declined as well...She was pretty much this way for a good couple of months, and, in retrospect, we should have let her go sooner, as I'm sure she was suffering, but the vet we were taking her to would not mention putting her down without our bringing it up, and refused to actually lead us to make that decision, even though it would clearly have been a kindness in the last couple of weeks. She did pass at home; in her final days she could barely move from her bed, and the only food she got was the little bits we managed to hand-feed her. We buried her in the backyard, deep under a good solid stone, so nothing could get to her. I don't know what local laws are on that in other places, but we are in a rural area where, as far as I know, there is nothing prohibiting it. There's a nice mulberry tree right next to her now.

What a lovely place for your dog to be buried. 

2 hours ago, sixlets said:

Thank you all for the kind replies.  She passed away a little after noon today in one of her favorite boxes in the kitchen.  Mr. Six & I were both with her.  I did some research last night, and we had/have no options with it being a weekend.  The closest thing I could find required you to be a resident of Baltimore City, and we are literally less than 3 miles into the county.  We will be calling our vet in the morning to make further arrangements.  It was as peaceful as we could have hoped, and I know this is just the beginning of a new normal.  We still have two babies that need us, and I think they will be a great help in the healing process.  Thank you all again.

I’m so very sorry for your loss. 

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Scarlett45

This is a reminder that the Politics Policy is still in effect.

I understand with recent current events there may be a desire to discuss political social media posts of those in the Duggar realm- this is not the place for those discussions. If you believe someone has violated forum rules, report them, do not respond or engage.

Political discussion is not allowed in this forum- this includes Small Talk topics. Please stay in the spirit of the policy- I have noticed a tendency for some to follow the letter but not the spirit.

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