Jump to content
Forums forums
PRIMETIMER
Honeycocoa

Small Talk: The Prayer Closet

Recommended Posts

@magpye29, wow. You've survived a lot of really bad sh*t. Those three dismissive statements you mention at the end of your post, resonate so much. Sending virtual hugs, and I'm not the world's biggest hugger. 

  • Like 13

Share this post


Link to post

All of this sharing about less than perfect families makes me feel that I have kindred spirits here! When people go on and on about how loved they are by their parents, on SM and IRL, I sometimes feel a bit less than. I was not beaten, but my parents were in their own world and had more children than they could handle. It was years before I realized that the problems were theirs and it wasn't that I was unlovable. My Dad has been gone for 30 years, but my Mom is much easier to talk to these days, as long as we all gloss over the problems. 😞

For me, making my own adult life with my husband and children (and now grandchildren), has been a second chance at a normal life. We weren't perfect parents, but we did far better than my folks did. Our kids are wonderful people. 

ETA: Husband and children are not necessary for making a normal life. That's just my experience!

Edited by BetyBee · Reason: Clarifying that it's not my way or the highway.
  • Like 20

Share this post


Link to post

@magpye29 with Trader Joe’s cookies you can’t go wrong. I recommend cookie butter ones. But I liked most that I tried. 
 

 

  • Like 8

Share this post


Link to post
10 minutes ago, BetyBee said:

All of this sharing about less than perfect families makes me feel that I have kindred spirits here! When people go on and on about how loved they are by their parents, on SM and IRL, I sometimes feel a bit less than. I was not beaten, but my parents were in their own world and had more children than they could handle. It was years before I realized that the problems were theirs and it wasn't that I was unlovable. My Dad has been gone for 30 years, but my Mom is much easier to talk to these days, as long as we all gloss over the problems. 😞

For me, making my own adult life with my husband and children (and now grandchildren), has been a second chance at a normal life. We weren't perfect parents, but we did far better than my folks did. Our kids are wonderful people. 

ETA: Husband and children are not necessary for making a normal life. That's just my experience!

You just described my relationship with my mother and siblings.  They don't like me to speak because I disrupt their impressions of our family.  It doesn't help that when I try to bring up something my mother said or did, she conveniently doesn't remember, and this stuff happened either before my younger siblings were born or they were not in the room.  I distinctly remember the response my mother gave when both pregnant with my little sister and little brother when people asked what she was having, "I hope it's a boy.  I never wanted girls, boys are easier."  I was seven and nine respectively.  Apparently that was a joke, and later on when I brought it up mom forgot she ever said that.  The worst part is other people in my family knew I was my mom's least favorite kid, and did nothing.  My dad's sister has joked about it, and I know my godmother knew.  My godmother was (bitch is still alive, but dead to me) my mom's cousin.  She was single when I was a kid, and we spent many a weekend together.  I could always count on her to buy me Barbies, makeup, dresses and other accessories, right up until she didn't.  She started coming around less when her sister had her first child and Janet finally met a man.  There was apparently also a fight between my aunt and her sister, that 8 year old me knew nothing about which also contributed to this per my mother.  I still remember when she showed up at my house to announce she was getting married on my 9th  birthday, but I was not invited to the festivities.  She and her husband decided on a no kids reception and I was not chosen to be the flower girl even though she had promised previously.  I spent that birthday helping my mom to babysit her other cousin's kids so they could go to the wedding.  This also strained the relationship between her and my mother, since my parents chose not to attend the wedding.  Well, my dad chose not to attend an event where I was not invited.  That was one thing I wish I knew while my dad was still living.  He was not the most vocal about showing his love and support, but when it mattered he stood up for me.  I take comfort knowing I was his favorite, even if  my other siblings don't agree.  

 

  • Like 20

Share this post


Link to post
19 hours ago, CherryMalotte said:

I think everybody knows how I feel about my parental units.   While I appreciate being here I still feel sorry for my mom, she wasn't equipped to be a mother, and I'm so not going into why my male dna donor shouldn't have bothered either.  But it was the 60's, and was expected that they should have had a baby, and here I am, still working out my feelings about the both of them....or at least her,  the him I could give a shit less about.  Will say though that even without meaning to parents can be very destructive to their kids, and we as their children do need to step back and occasionally throw them a bone.  Doesn't mean we are obligated to love them or even talk to them.  We don't owe parents anything, and I certainly don't expect my Mini Malotte (who was very much wanted) to be obligated to me.   I'm grateful for some of the gifts she bestowed on me, and miss my mom terribly at times, but we don't owe them anything.

Oy vey, in laws!  Yeah I'm gonna stop right there...no one would believe the stories I can tell.


  

I can.  I married her son as a Virgin at 22.  She was jealous of me from Day 1 as my husband always praised me.  In one of my mother in laws jealous rants, I heard she call me a “cunt” and my lovely Mother a “scrub woman”.  Trouble with her my whole marriage.  Boy, when she died, I laughed.  How’s that?  It’s sooo good to get this out of my system here.  Thank you!   P.s.  Still married forever.


 

 

 

Edited by Silver Bells
  • Like 18
  • Surprise 1

Share this post


Link to post

@magpye29 I’m so sorry for the abuse you endured, and even more so that you had to do so in silence.  Family dynamics are complicated at best, and sometimes family just sucks!  

My grandmother, my mom’s mom, was always pretty mean and favored some of her eleven children over the others.  The uncle that just died was not in the clique, and it really haunted him his whole life.  She still won’t admit any wrongdoing on her part even though she made him walk around in public in a dress as punishment as a child.  I get not wanting to talk to your mom about it as my mom just tried that and it made things worse.  As Iyanla Vanzant always says, sometimes you have to meet people where they are, and sometimes you have to leave them there.  

  • Like 13
  • Sad 6

Share this post


Link to post

1 hour ago, galaxychaser said:

@magpye29 with Trader Joe’s cookies you can’t go wrong. I recommend cookie butter ones. But I liked most that I tried. 
 

 

The ginger snaps are delicious too but they have a strong flavor.  

  • Like 7

Share this post


Link to post
19 hours ago, Porkchop said:

I remember as a young child wanting to hold only my Dad's hand, not my mother's. But I knew I had to take a turn at holding her hand or it would cause trouble for my Dad.  I adored him. My mother was not the worst, not violent, but just so self-centered, and really only interested in her illnesses and the attention they brought her. Picking out a mother's day card was always a problem ... I tried to find one that said nothing.

Man....I can relate. I was very fortunate to have grown up with grandparents and great grandparents, in addition to my parents, but, after a certain point, I had an extremely difficult time with my mother. I think the reasons were part personality disorder, part mental illness.....if not for the positive input from other family members, I don't know what would have happened. It's like they knew and shielded me. I just thought I had a very temperamental mom.   I still struggle with it though. . I think that covid restrictions have caused me to examine myself more. At times, I think I have processed it all and am fine. Other times, I wonder if I need counseling.  You know, it's amazing how many people have issues like this.  At times, I feel fortunate and other times, not so much.

I've parked my car in the shade. It's going to be another HOT ONE today.  I'm on colonoscopy prep day.  Lots of fun in store. lol 

Edited by SunnyBeBe
  • Like 12

Share this post


Link to post

Wow! You guys really are the most awesome! I came here this morning to take my post down because I felt like I had overshared, only to find so much support it made me cry!

On one of the threads, we were talking about potty training. Don't remember when I was trained, but I would get so into whatever I was doing that I would avoid going to the bathroom--so I would frequently wet myself because of holding out to the last (not) possible minute. So one time I  did this when I was about six or seven, and my mother caught me changing my underwear. She punished me by making me wear my wet underwear on my head so I would "remember to use the toilet when I was supposed to." She was so devious and inventive with punishments. She turned 15 six weeks before I was born (my father had no idea how old she was when they first got together--he was 19), so a lot of people in my life used that as the excuse for her behavior. By the time she was 19, there were three of us, all about two years apart. Before she had my sister, her family told her she didn't have to stay married, they would let her stay home, but then she found out she was pregnant with my sister so we moved out of the family home into our own apartment, which I'm mostly sure is when the abuse began. One of my first real memories away from the family home is of my father beating my mother. She learned early on that the way to keep him off her was to keep him focused on us kids, and she would lie to him to get us in trouble. We tried to tell him what was going on, and he would say, "are you calling your mother a liar?" Well, yeah, dad, actually we are. His personal code would not allow him to conceive of that. No matter what she did, he always had her back publicly. He was a redneck who had grown up being beaten with a bullwhip, and on some level, we understood that he was trying to discipline us, and he would apologize for being so harsh with us "for our own good." I guess that made it easier to forgive  him for being so brutal What makes it hard about my mother is that I feel she broke the maternal contract to protect us by painting the target on our backs to save herself. One of my therapists suggested the reason I was so traumatized by my mother is that I was the treasured child of my extended family for the first years of my life, especially since my brother had some eye issues when he was born and spent a lot of time in the hospital. So when we moved out, my life did a 180 and I went from princess to drudge and target. Almost all my memories of my mother are awful. I'm sure there are some good ones, but I have to think about it to find them. Even good memories are tainted with bad, like when my mother made matching shirts for herself, us, my aunt, and my great-aunt, which we wore to the theatre. We stopped for a picnic, and my mother took pictures of us in our shirts, but I ended up getting in trouble for not taking any pictures of my mother in her shirt. I was maybe 10. Never once did she ask anyone to take a photo for her, and there were two other adults present, but I'm the one who got screamed at for my mother's hurt feelings. Same when she graduated from night school--my father berated me for not remembering to bring a camera to the graduation.

Okay, I'm way too self-absorbed. I need to get back to work on my fictionalized autobiography so maybe I can put this to rest once and for all! Just, thanks again for your support. I honestly was afraid you would think I was making this up, but I promise you, as good a writer as I am (and my posts don't remotely reflect that), I don't have the imagination to make up insanity at this level!

  • Like 9
  • Sad 11

Share this post


Link to post
50 minutes ago, SunnyBeBe said:

Man....I can relate. I was very fortunate to have grown up with grandparents and great grandparents, in addition to my parents, but, after a certain point, I had an extremely difficult time with my mother. I think the reasons were part personality disorder, part mental illness.....if not for the positive input from other family members, I don't know what would have happened. It's like they knew and shielded me. I just thought I had a very temperamental mom.   I still struggle with it though. . I think that covid restrictions have caused me to examine myself more. At times, I think I have processed it all and am fine. Other times, I wonder if I need counseling.  You know, it's amazing how many people have issues like this.  At times, I feel fortunate and other times, not so much.

I've parked my car in the shade. It's going to be another HOT ONE today.  I'm on colonoscopy prep day.  Lots of fun in store. lol 

Yes the prep is something else. The procedure is a cakewalk.

  • Like 10

Share this post


Link to post
20 hours ago, Porkchop said:

I remember as a young child wanting to hold only my Dad's hand, not my mother's. But I knew I had to take a turn at holding her hand or it would cause trouble for my Dad.  I adored him. My mother was not the worst, not violent, but just so self-centered, and really only interested in her illnesses and the attention they brought her. Picking out a mother's day card was always a problem ... I tried to find one that said nothing.

I'm sorry you had to do that, but I totally get it. And see, there really is a market for fractured families greeting cards!

  • Like 8

Share this post


Link to post

4 hours ago, GeeGolly said:

@magpye29, I'm so sorry you endured so much trauma in your childhood. It seems most of us here are wounded souls. Even with adulthood struggles it shows how strong and resilient everyone who posts here is.

Warm, fuzzy and healing hugs to anyone who needs them. 

I didn’t have it easy as a kid, hit by belts, hangers, straps, kneeled on rice ( that’s a good one) under the age of ten, but always figured my mother had to work and was tired, BUT NOTHING compared to the trauma of your dear brother.  You’ve had to carry that burden in your heart all these years, and I just can’t imagine as that is the worst one ever heard.  I am so, so sorry @MAGPYE29.

 

 

 

 

  • Like 16

Share this post


Link to post

All of the things that have been mentioned here, as well as other things I have seen in life, have caused me to be very proactive in stopping child abuse/neglect.  A child's welfare is everyone's business.  

Edited by SunnyBeBe
  • Like 12

Share this post


Link to post
On 7/20/2020 at 9:45 PM, Scarlett45 said:

Sex? What’s that?? I’ve forgotten. Damn COVID-19😒
 

I was watching P-Valley on Starz and there was a hot naked man and I almost fainted. 😹

Sex?  What’s that is right.  I’m older, and married a long time.  When a man gets to be a certain age, no more sex.  You’re lucky if you get a hello when passing, lol.  In their younger years, they were all over you and couldn’t get enough.  Now, they watch sports or the news.  Romance is gone .. they’ve had enough.  Women need more of everything no matter the age.  Why don’t they know that?  I’m so happy I could spit this crap out.

  • Like 15

Share this post


Link to post
2 hours ago, Jynnan tonnix said:

It makes me feel more that I am selfish and cold. When I read about other people's horrible experiences with their parents, it brings home to me that my parents definitely always loved me, and did everything they could, but, especially since I ended up being their only child out of three live births (I was one of 2-month premature twins, and they lost a son when I was about four, who was born at about 26 weeks), they did tend toward being very overprotective, and never really being able to cut the apron strings, even after I was married and moving around to various parts of the world with my husband and his Naval career. My father, also, was quite strict, but never more so than when he was trying to tie my soul to my Polish heritage. But, really, aside from their always being the champions of unsolicited advice, the faults in our relationship were probably more due to my having a rebellious nature on the one hand, but being too timid to act on it on the other. I know a lot of people who grew up in a very similar circumstances. Dad was one of the top brass in the country for the Polish Scouting Organization, and I think I was always a disappointment to him, as I'm just not a joiner, and scouting groups were hell for me, whereas most of the children of the other scouting families in our circle went on to be leaders in the PSO, with all those Mega-Catholic, Polish-nationalistic, Scouting-oriented values they tried so hard to instill in me. I was always just so different from them by nature, though, as I came to realize many years later as an adult, I am actually very much like some of my cousins, especially the children of his middle brother, who was always the atheist and the dreamer, even though they were brought up in the same, horribly difficult circumstances during WWII.

Anyway, whatever the reason, I just grew up feeling deeply resentful of them, but I'm also one of those people (as a couple of others have mentioned recently in this latest discussion) of not really being that emotionally tied to people in general. I never had any family other than my parents, and some cousins whom I really had no contact with until I was an adult since they were all in England, and we moved to the USA when I was young. I never made friends easily - would likely have been put somewhere on the autism spectrum as a kid if they even had such a thing in those days. 

So, here I am. I do love my kids, though I probably was not the world's best mom, and Mr, Jyn was a very distant Dad with the first two, and it wasn't until our third child and he totally bonded that he came out of his shell as a parent a bit more. On the whole, though our family has probably a bit of disfunction around the edges, the kids have grown up to be great people. So I guess we didn't do everything wrong. At the very least, I have always made sure that I let them make their own mistakes as they grew more independent, and will definitely stay away from giving them advice they don't ask for. The older two are extremely private people, much like Mr. Jyn, while our youngest (almost 30 now), will open up a bit more about his feelings, and is definitely in touch with his emotions in a way the other two are not.

But what I started out to say is that of all the people in the world, aside from, mostly, my kids, and maybe one or two other people (whom I hesitate to count as I see and/or talk to them so rarely that it generally seems I don't really know them as much as I know a version of them that lives in my head) I don't actually love anyone, and don't feel as though I could love anyone who ever made me feel resentful toward them. I just build these walls, and there they stay, which is horrible, but I also feel that trying to break through them would somehow vindicate those whom I resent, and I can't bring myself to even try. I guess I'm just a messed up puppy.

Also...total change of subject...I could use all the good vibes I can get for younger son who is finally (FINALLY!) getting word on what the powers that be have decided on the DUI he got when he was here for Christmas (some of you might remember the incident). It seems that he has been recommended for judicial separation from the Marine Corps, even though he has totally done everything right since then, including self-reporting the incident to begin with, as it would likely have gone under the radar indefinitely, having happened out-of-state and the charges being dropped after he went to court. His old CO and old XO/new CO (same person, promoted),  both of whom have worked with him since (they are not really moving people around due to COVID, and his old CO retiring was the only reason for the change-up) both think he is an exemplary officer, and have fought hard for him. He actually has been doing his old XO's job for the past few months, even though it's above his pay grade, because he is so familiar with the job, and, frankly, so good at it. He's been doing a lot of public service, and talks on the importance of responsible drinking/other safety issues. He's got something like 10 days to put together a defense package before the appeal goes further. From everything he's heard, similar cases have quite often been dropped, but for some reason, the current 2-star general in charge has begun to be extra strict in recommending termination.  The case will likely end up going all the way up to the secretary of the Navy. So keep all your fingers crossed. If anyone deserves that second chance, it's my son.

Heritage plays a lot in how we are.  My both parents came from Poland, grew up with Soldiers marching thru their houses.  They were matched for marriage in NewYork where they started their lives.  No love there, just respect.  Both worked all their lives.  They never used the word love, but raised us strick the best they could.  We had the basics, but nothing fancy, and no”I love yous”.  I’m different with my kids.  I cant say I love you enough or hug them enough, even tho they are now married and have kids of their own.

  • Like 11

Share this post


Link to post
3 hours ago, Jynnan tonnix said:

It makes me feel more that I am selfish and cold. When I read about other people's horrible experiences with their parents, it brings home to me that my parents definitely always loved me, and did everything they could, but, especially since I ended up being their only child out of three live births (I was one of 2-month premature twins, and they lost a son when I was about four, who was born at about 26 weeks), they did tend toward being very overprotective, and never really being able to cut the apron strings, even after I was married and moving around to various parts of the world with my husband and his Naval career. My father, also, was quite strict, but never more so than when he was trying to tie my soul to my Polish heritage. But, really, aside from their always being the champions of unsolicited advice, the faults in our relationship were probably more due to my having a rebellious nature on the one hand, but being too timid to act on it on the other. I know a lot of people who grew up in a very similar circumstances. Dad was one of the top brass in the country for the Polish Scouting Organization, and I think I was always a disappointment to him, as I'm just not a joiner, and scouting groups were hell for me, whereas most of the children of the other scouting families in our circle went on to be leaders in the PSO, with all those Mega-Catholic, Polish-nationalistic, Scouting-oriented values they tried so hard to instill in me. I was always just so different from them by nature, though, as I came to realize many years later as an adult, I am actually very much like some of my cousins, especially the children of his middle brother, who was always the atheist and the dreamer, even though they were brought up in the same, horribly difficult circumstances during WWII.

Anyway, whatever the reason, I just grew up feeling deeply resentful of them, but I'm also one of those people (as a couple of others have mentioned recently in this latest discussion) of not really being that emotionally tied to people in general. I never had any family other than my parents, and some cousins whom I really had no contact with until I was an adult since they were all in England, and we moved to the USA when I was young. I never made friends easily - would likely have been put somewhere on the autism spectrum as a kid if they even had such a thing in those days. 

So, here I am. I do love my kids, though I probably was not the world's best mom, and Mr, Jyn was a very distant Dad with the first two, and it wasn't until our third child and he totally bonded that he came out of his shell as a parent a bit more. On the whole, though our family has probably a bit of disfunction around the edges, the kids have grown up to be great people. So I guess we didn't do everything wrong. At the very least, I have always made sure that I let them make their own mistakes as they grew more independent, and will definitely stay away from giving them advice they don't ask for. The older two are extremely private people, much like Mr. Jyn, while our youngest (almost 30 now), will open up a bit more about his feelings, and is definitely in touch with his emotions in a way the other two are not.

But what I started out to say is that of all the people in the world, aside from, mostly, my kids, and maybe one or two other people (whom I hesitate to count as I see and/or talk to them so rarely that it generally seems I don't really know them as much as I know a version of them that lives in my head) I don't actually love anyone, and don't feel as though I could love anyone who ever made me feel resentful toward them. I just build these walls, and there they stay, which is horrible, but I also feel that trying to break through them would somehow vindicate those whom I resent, and I can't bring myself to even try. I guess I'm just a messed up puppy.

Also...total change of subject...I could use all the good vibes I can get for younger son who is finally (FINALLY!) getting word on what the powers that be have decided on the DUI he got when he was here for Christmas (some of you might remember the incident). It seems that he has been recommended for judicial separation from the Marine Corps, even though he has totally done everything right since then, including self-reporting the incident to begin with, as it would likely have gone under the radar indefinitely, having happened out-of-state and the charges being dropped after he went to court. His old CO and old XO/new CO (same person, promoted),  both of whom have worked with him since (they are not really moving people around due to COVID, and his old CO retiring was the only reason for the change-up) both think he is an exemplary officer, and have fought hard for him. He actually has been doing his old XO's job for the past few months, even though it's above his pay grade, because he is so familiar with the job, and, frankly, so good at it. He's been doing a lot of public service, and talks on the importance of responsible drinking/other safety issues. He's got something like 10 days to put together a defense package before the appeal goes further. From everything he's heard, similar cases have quite often been dropped, but for some reason, the current 2-star general in charge has begun to be extra strict in recommending termination.  The case will likely end up going all the way up to the secretary of the Navy. So keep all your fingers crossed. If anyone deserves that second chance, it's my son.

I think you are far more normal than you view yourself.  I've read many things you've posted and you always seem so hard on yourself.  You don't need to love anyone you don't already love, except yourself.

I hope your son is given the break he deserves.  It would be a shame that one moment of bad judgement should cost his career.

  • Like 16

Share this post


Link to post
2 hours ago, Jynnan tonnix said:

It makes me feel more that I am selfish and cold. When I read about other people's horrible experiences with their parents, it brings home to me that my parents definitely always loved me, and did everything they could, but, especially since I ended up being their only child out of three live births (I was one of 2-month premature twins, and they lost a son when I was about four, who was born at about 26 weeks), they did tend toward being very overprotective, and never really being able to cut the apron strings, even after I was married and moving around to various parts of the world with my husband and his Naval career. My father, also, was quite strict, but never more so than when he was trying to tie my soul to my Polish heritage. But, really, aside from their always being the champions of unsolicited advice, the faults in our relationship were probably more due to my having a rebellious nature on the one hand, but being too timid to act on it on the other. I know a lot of people who grew up in a very similar circumstances. Dad was one of the top brass in the country for the Polish Scouting Organization, and I think I was always a disappointment to him, as I'm just not a joiner, and scouting groups were hell for me, whereas most of the children of the other scouting families in our circle went on to be leaders in the PSO, with all those Mega-Catholic, Polish-nationalistic, Scouting-oriented values they tried so hard to instill in me. I was always just so different from them by nature, though, as I came to realize many years later as an adult, I am actually very much like some of my cousins, especially the children of his middle brother, who was always the atheist and the dreamer, even though they were brought up in the same, horribly difficult circumstances during WWII.

Anyway, whatever the reason, I just grew up feeling deeply resentful of them, but I'm also one of those people (as a couple of others have mentioned recently in this latest discussion) of not really being that emotionally tied to people in general. I never had any family other than my parents, and some cousins whom I really had no contact with until I was an adult since they were all in England, and we moved to the USA when I was young. I never made friends easily - would likely have been put somewhere on the autism spectrum as a kid if they even had such a thing in those days. 

So, here I am. I do love my kids, though I probably was not the world's best mom, and Mr, Jyn was a very distant Dad with the first two, and it wasn't until our third child and he totally bonded that he came out of his shell as a parent a bit more. On the whole, though our family has probably a bit of disfunction around the edges, the kids have grown up to be great people. So I guess we didn't do everything wrong. At the very least, I have always made sure that I let them make their own mistakes as they grew more independent, and will definitely stay away from giving them advice they don't ask for. The older two are extremely private people, much like Mr. Jyn, while our youngest (almost 30 now), will open up a bit more about his feelings, and is definitely in touch with his emotions in a way the other two are not.

But what I started out to say is that of all the people in the world, aside from, mostly, my kids, and maybe one or two other people (whom I hesitate to count as I see and/or talk to them so rarely that it generally seems I don't really know them as much as I know a version of them that lives in my head) I don't actually love anyone, and don't feel as though I could love anyone who ever made me feel resentful toward them. I just build these walls, and there they stay, which is horrible, but I also feel that trying to break through them would somehow vindicate those whom I resent, and I can't bring myself to even try. I guess I'm just a messed up puppy.

Also...total change of subject...I could use all the good vibes I can get for younger son who is finally (FINALLY!) getting word on what the powers that be have decided on the DUI he got when he was here for Christmas (some of you might remember the incident). It seems that he has been recommended for judicial separation from the Marine Corps, even though he has totally done everything right since then, including self-reporting the incident to begin with, as it would likely have gone under the radar indefinitely, having happened out-of-state and the charges being dropped after he went to court. His old CO and old XO/new CO (same person, promoted),  both of whom have worked with him since (they are not really moving people around due to COVID, and his old CO retiring was the only reason for the change-up) both think he is an exemplary officer, and have fought hard for him. He actually has been doing his old XO's job for the past few months, even though it's above his pay grade, because he is so familiar with the job, and, frankly, so good at it. He's been doing a lot of public service, and talks on the importance of responsible drinking/other safety issues. He's got something like 10 days to put together a defense package before the appeal goes further. From everything he's heard, similar cases have quite often been dropped, but for some reason, the current 2-star general in charge has begun to be extra strict in recommending termination.  The case will likely end up going all the way up to the secretary of the Navy. So keep all your fingers crossed. If anyone deserves that second chance, it's my son.

@Jynnan tonnix - I can relate to what you're saying about not loving a lot of people. I get along with people and I don't mind being around them for chit chat,  but my husband and I don't have a lot of close friends I love my sibs and my Mom, though I think I might have fit better into a smaller family. My younger sister is my best friend. I think it's great that you have a rebellious nature! We don't have to love activities that our parents want us to love and the best part of being grown ups is getting to do what we want! 

I have fingers crossed that the situation goes well for your son. It would be foolish for the Navy to let him go when he is clearly a wonderful asset. Please keep us posted on the outcome!

  • Like 13

Share this post


Link to post

1 hour ago, Silver Bells said:

Sex?  What’s that is right.  I’m older, and married a long time.  When a man gets to be a certain age, no more sex.  You’re lucky if you get a hello when passing, lol.  In their younger years, they were all over you and couldn’t get enough.  Now, they watch sports or the news.  Romance is gone .. they’ve had enough.  Women need more of everything no matter the age.  Why don’t they know that?  I’m so happy I could spit this crap out.

I’m sorry to hear. That is not always the case. 

  • Like 8

Share this post


Link to post
1 hour ago, lookeyloo said:

I’m sorry to hear. That is not always the case. 

Yes,I know that.  Plus every person and every senerio is different .. example, certain health issues.
 

 

 

  • Like 6

Share this post


Link to post

I am counting down the days until I get my new nightguard.

Never thought that would make me happy...

  • Like 12

Share this post


Link to post

I got beat probably every day until I got oh probably 11 or so and got big enough to threaten violence back. I don’t think kids need to be hit at all . Ever. Beating up a toddler isn’t teaching them discipline. I’m still bitter about that. 
 

My cousin is a pure sadist. He is  8 years older than me. his biggest fun was beating on his 3 female cousins. He threw me head first into a wall when I was 6-7. Had a nice concussion from that. I hate him to this day. 
 

 

Edited by galaxychaser
  • Sad 20

Share this post


Link to post
5 minutes ago, doodlebug said:

Not to change the subject, but we were talking about gladiolas and how nice they look in late summer.  Here's a current photo of them in my front yard.  I've got several colors planted.  The pink ones bloom first and then are replaced by yellow, red and purple in turn.  They look terrific when cut and placed in a tall vase.

 

glads (3).jpg

They sure are lovely.  My grandmother used to have them in her yard and they were her favorite.  I never see them that I don't think of her.  

  • Like 8

Share this post


Link to post

7 hours ago, Jynnan tonnix said:

But, really, aside from their always being the champions of unsolicited advice, the faults in our relationship were probably more due to my having a rebellious nature on the one hand, but being too timid to act on it on the other. 

I think it was probably less having a rebellious nature and more being made to feel like you were bad for being who you are (a thinker, not a joiner) and being forced to participate in things you were uncomfortable with. They were not abusive, but your psyche still bears the scars of not being acceptable to the two people who were supposed to love you unconditionally. 

I'm sorry your son is still having issues over his DUI. I really hope this can be worked out so one mistake doesn't torpedo his entire career.

 

  • Like 7

Share this post


Link to post

@doodlebug, your glads are so pretty! I come from farmers on both sides of the tree, but plants shudder in terror when they see me because I am a serial killer of their kind!

@Jynnan tonnix, you are so hard on yourself! It can't have been easy for you to have been the focus of all your parents' love--I feel like that could have been so suffocating. I don't know your Meyers-Briggs type, but it sounds like you were an ISTJ raised by ENFPs, and I know from parenting my own child that my dramatic, flamboyant personality and love of glitter has been very difficult for my daughter, who is kind of appalled and embarrassed by me. At least we can talk about it.

I'll keep your son in my prayers. All it takes is one person to make a stink about something. Hopefully the 2-star will make the right call.

@galaxychaser, no child should ever be hit, EVER. I find it so bizarre that people use their sorry childhoods as an excuse for hitting their kids. I NEVER wanted to lay a hand on my kids because I know how lousy that is. As for your rat-bastard cousin, I have no words but cuss words.

@SunnyBeBe, we need more warriors like you in the world! Keep fighting the good fight. We need to stop believing that biology trumps everything. When we take children out of abusive homes, we should stop giving them back to the same animals who savaged them!

@Silver Bells, never had to kneel on rice, but I did have to kneel directly on my knees (keeping my lower legs in the air) with my forehead resting on the radiator and my hands folded behind my back. My mother's younger brother used to babysit us, and he would devise the most gruesome punishments for us. He had a book about medieval tortures that he liked to bring with him when he came over. I read the whole thing--it gave me nightmares! Were your coat hangers just regular, or did your parents do what mine did and stretch them out into a switch? They leave a hell of a welt!

I have to stop--I feel like Richard Dreyfus and Robert Shaw in  Jaws, which I'm going to see next week at a local food drive in. The movie is free, but no outside food allowed. I'm planning to go early and bring my book with me so I can read until the movie starts.

 

26 minutes ago, Nysha said:

I really hope this can be worked out so one mistake doesn't torpedo his entire career.

 

You said torpedo. That made me laugh and laugh! Apologies to @Jynnan tonnix, but that's some pretty clever wording right there!

  • Like 10
  • Sad 2

Share this post


Link to post
56 minutes ago, doodlebug said:

Not to change the subject, but we were talking about gladiolas and how nice they look in late summer.  Here's a current photo of them in my front yard.  I've got several colors planted.  The pink ones bloom first and then are replaced by yellow, red and purple in turn.  They look terrific when cut and placed in a tall vase.

 

glads (3).jpg

I love them, too, and yours are so pretty. I have two pitchers, one pale blue with a light green edge and one orange with a yellow edge and I love to fill them with different colored glads and arrange them next to each other.

  • Like 8

Share this post


Link to post
2 hours ago, doodlebug said:

Not to change the subject, but we were talking about gladiolas and how nice they look in late summer.  Here's a current photo of them in my front yard.  I've got several colors planted.  The pink ones bloom first and then are replaced by yellow, red and purple in turn.  They look terrific when cut and placed in a tall vase.

 

glads (3).jpg

These are gorgeous!

  • Like 3

Share this post


Link to post
On 7/20/2020 at 7:51 PM, MargeGunderson said:

I’m just going to trust you on this one, @lookeyloo! I have no need to verify for myself. 

I’m treating myself to a lot of new skincare products as a reward for...well, basically just getting up everyday and doing what needs to be done at work and home. Face masks, body scrubs, lotions, foot masks (I love a good foot mask), hair products, etc. It’s kind of a shame, my skin looks terrific, and I have no where to show it off. I’ve never been so well hydrated. 

The only thing that gives me a post exercise high is lap swimming. Sadly, pools are closed right now. 

  • Like 1
  • Sad 5

Share this post


Link to post
On 7/20/2020 at 9:52 PM, magpye29 said:

I'm a big fan of Archway Windmill cookies--has to be Archway, because the other brands just don't taste as good.  

Grandma cookies! Just opening a packages brings all the smells of her house. 

  • Like 6

Share this post


Link to post

4 hours ago, galaxychaser said:

I got beat probably every day until I got oh probably 11 or so and got big enough to threaten violence back. I don’t think kids need to be hit at all . Ever. Beating up a toddler isn’t teaching them discipline. I’m still bitter about that. 
 

My cousin is a pure sadist 8 years older his biggest fun was beating on his 3 female cousins. He threw me head first into a wall when I was 6-7. Had a nice concussion from that. I hate him to this day. 
 

 

A concussion.  Unreal.  I don’t blame you.  Was he punished at the time?

  • Sad 4

Share this post


Link to post
6 hours ago, doodlebug said:

Not to change the subject, but we were talking about gladiolas and how nice they look in late summer.  Here's a current photo of them in my front yard.  I've got several colors planted.  The pink ones bloom first and then are replaced by yellow, red and purple in turn.  They look terrific when cut and placed in a tall vase.

 

glads (3).jpg

Those are beautiful!

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post

When I meet people I always assume they don’t have a father. And am legit shocked to find out that they do! Thanks for nothing sperm donor. 

  • Like 1
  • Sad 7

Share this post


Link to post
9 hours ago, Silver Bells said:

A concussion.  Unreal.  I don’t blame you.  Was he punished at the time?

He got beat up SEVERELY by my mom. My punishment was I had SEVERE migraines for a few years after the concussion. I used to pass out from the pain in school or home. I thought I had brain cancer.

  • Sad 13

Share this post


Link to post
1 minute ago, galaxychaser said:

He got beat up SEVERELY by my mom. My punishment was I had SEVERE migraines for a few years after the concussion. I used to pass out from the pain in school or home. I thought I had brain cancer.

The problem wasn’t us little girls, it was the people who used physical abuse to release their tensions of life I guess.  All I know is that I must have been depressed, as I used to go to bed very early just to end the day, and that was in first grade.  Anyhow, the day I met my husband, my life changed for the better, and I learned to appreciate and enjoy my kids and now my grandchildren.  I’m sure people have worse.  Isn’t it amazing how we remember every lousy little detail when we were so little?

  • Like 14

Share this post


Link to post

12 hours ago, JoanArc said:

KeYSnf6.jpg?1

I have to share a story about the first time I saw this movie.  It was the summer of 1989 and my oldest cousin on my mom's side of the family was getting married in St. Louis.  That side of my family is spread out around the country and we only  all get together for weddings and funerals.  We were all staying in the same hotel when one night the adults decided that they wanted a kids free night.  So they left Grandma in charge of all of us kids and someone splurged to get us a movie on pay-per-view.  This was the movie chosen.  Grandma got to this scene and just lost it.  She tried to feign righteous indignation that this movie was not appropriate for kids, but she could not stop laughing.  

  • Laugh 21

Share this post


Link to post
24 minutes ago, Ohiopirate02 said:

I have to share a story about the first time I saw this movie.  It was the summer of 1989 and my oldest cousin on my mom's side of the family was getting married in St. Louis.  That side of my family is spread out around the country and we only  all get together for weddings and funerals.  We were all staying in the same hotel when one night the adults decided that they wanted a kids free night.  So they left Grandma in charge of all of us kids and someone splurged to get us a movie on pay-per-view.  This was the movie chosen.  Grandma got to this scene and just lost it.  She tried to feign righteous indignation that this movie was not appropriate for kids, but she could not stop laughing.  

What is that movie called? 

Share this post


Link to post
1 minute ago, galaxychaser said:

What is that movie called? 

The actors in that scene are Leslie Nielsen and Priscilla Presley (AKA Elvis' ex).  It also stars OJ Simpson, before he killed his ex-wife and her friend in cold blood.

Stupidly funny, escapist film.  Highly recommended for COVID stress relief.

  • Like 8

Share this post


Link to post

I love The Naked Gun! So many great scenes but my favorite is this one:

 

  • Like 4
  • Laugh 1

Share this post


Link to post

4 hours ago, doodlebug said:

The actors in that scene are Leslie Nielsen and Priscilla Presley (AKA Elvis' ex).  It also stars OJ Simpson, before he killed his ex-wife and her friend in cold blood.

Stupidly funny, escapist film.  Highly recommended for COVID stress relief.

I love love love Leslie Nielsen, especially in due South. 

  • Like 3

Share this post


Link to post

Sorry, but I’m backtracking to my grandson at the fishing camp. He did test positive for Covid. My daughter negative. She can go back to work (per health dept) on the 3rd. His sister with breathing issues is isolating in her room, the grandson in his and as if they weren’t bored before being forced to stay in their own rooms for the rest of the family’s sake. Urgh. 

  • Sad 24

Share this post


Link to post

The Naked Gun trilogy was on a few weeks ago. I watched it and laughed like I’d never seen the movies before. Whenever Nordberg gets stuck under that bus I lose it. 

Edited by Ijustwantsomechips
  • Like 4

Share this post


Link to post
6 hours ago, zoomama said:

friends, this is a BIG change from our usual conversation and maybe not even ok to share but i have to tell you our good news!    my very talented nephew Joey Hendricks is signed by Sony Music Nashville and is releasing his first single tomorrow!!!!   see attached story and photo.   please help me out. if you are on spotify premium or apple music , please take a moment to listen. this is going to be his big break and every hit counts with his recording company. and would you also share this link on your social media. we need to get him known out there. 

https://musicrow.com/2020/07/sony-music-nashville-signs-joey-hendricks/?fbclid=IwAR1Fg2LX0wMVg9tQW49hFhkJVh9tiHFAteIJXzCuG9NuCzTnr1XTWxhbvbY

Wow! Good news is always welcome. I hope your nephew hits it big.

 

 

  • Like 6

Share this post


Link to post
3 hours ago, Mindthinkr said:

Sorry, but I’m backtracking to my grandson at the fishing camp. He did test positive for Covid. My daughter negative. She can go back to work (per health dept) on the 3rd. His sister with breathing issues is isolating in her room, the grandson in his and as if they weren’t bored before being forced to stay in their own rooms for the rest of the family’s sake. Urgh. 

@Mindthinkr, I'm so sorry to hear this 😟 I hope everyone stays healthy. Maybe you could order some good books or something to cheer them up? 

  • Like 6

Share this post


Link to post
3 hours ago, Mindthinkr said:

Sorry, but I’m backtracking to my grandson at the fishing camp. He did test positive for Covid. My daughter negative. She can go back to work (per health dept) on the 3rd. His sister with breathing issues is isolating in her room, the grandson in his and as if they weren’t bored before being forced to stay in their own rooms for the rest of the family’s sake. Urgh. 

Oh no I’m so sorry. How’s he feeling? Poor kids. 
 

I just cancelled my Walt Disney World trip for September. When we first went into lockdown I had hope things would be okay, but I’m not going this year. No judgement on anyone that decides to go, but I won’t be doing it. Walt Disney World is my most absolute FAVORITE place in the entire world. I didn’t ask for my money back I just moved my reservation to September 2021. 

  • Like 20

Share this post


Link to post

@zoomama, I shared your link on my facebook--I have over 1500 friends from all my gaming. I will put it on my two gaming only accounts as well. I share your hopes and dreams for your nephew, because I have similar for my son. If it's not against the rules, I will share the video of my son's original song, Empty Room Blues, which he wrote about how it feels to be on stage pouring your heart out when most of the guests aren't even listening.

  • Like 12

Share this post


Link to post

My difficult MIL has become Jill Rod. She sent a note to my aunt that she is immune from the virus because she is a baptized Christian. I'm glad she's tucked away in her senior living apartment. Management there isn't playing. They'll keep her safe in spite of herself. 

Edited by Sew Sumi
  • Like 14
  • Surprise 1
  • Sad 3

Share this post


Link to post
Aethera

The Politics Policy is not new, and still applies in the time of Covid-19. Discussion of politicians, political bodies and parties, etc is off-limits here. https://forums.primetimer.com/topic/94644-politics-primetimer-updated-070319/?tab=comments#comment-5402321

 

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Restore formatting

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
×
  • Create New...

Customize font-size