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Small Talk: The Prayer Closet

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22 hours ago, SunnyBeBe said:

I still stress over my diabetic supplies and insulin.....if something goes wrong, if I lose insurance.....omg. I’d not make it. That stuff is crazy expensive. Out of pocket retail....at least a couple thousand per month for my insulin and pump supplies.

I am truly blessed that I have Tricare for life, courtesy of my future ex-husband.  I don't pay a dime for my prescriptions.  I do have a 30-minute drive to the naval station to pick them up, but I don't mind that because I get to eat and shop at places that are different from in my town.  I used to take Metformin, but it suddenly started making me vomit, so I begged my doctor to take me off it.  I take four shots of Novolog and two shots of Lantus daily, as well as a weekly shot of Bydureon.  When the quarantine started, I tried to switch my prescription refills to a mail delivery, but it would have cost me over $50 a month.  (I take a lot of medication.)  Much cheaper (and more fun!) to drive over and get them.

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@jjane, I am so sorry this is happening to your niece. I just don't understand why the people who are making these decisions are obviously not putting her safety and well-being first. Why is motherhood so damned sacred? I don't think it should be easy to remove a child from the home, but once CPS opens a case it should be on the parents to prove they have a safe home and are meeting all their child's needs. 

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1 hour ago, magpye29 said:

I am truly blessed that I have Tricare for life, courtesy of my future ex-husband.  I don't pay a dime for my prescriptions.  I do have a 30-minute drive to the naval station to pick them up, but I don't mind that because I get to eat and shop at places that are different from in my town.  I used to take Metformin, but it suddenly started making me vomit, so I begged my doctor to take me off it.  I take four shots of Novolog and two shots of Lantus daily, as well as a weekly shot of Bydureon.  When the quarantine started, I tried to switch my prescription refills to a mail delivery, but it would have cost me over $50 a month.  (I take a lot of medication.)  Much cheaper (and more fun!) to drive over and get them.

I can’t imagine. That must be so nice. I am grateful to have coverage though, some do not. As you know Novalog is very pricy...I have a pump and Continuous Glucose monitor...more pricy....if I lost coverage, I’d have to stop using those things. I don’t take many other meds. Just something for my thyroid, but it’s inexpensive.

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I don't mean to imply that the people who work for DCFS are not trained professionals. I have, however, asked if the caseworkers who are dealing with my great niece have any training in mental health issues and have been told that they do not. I have also asked that the therapist I took her to, with whom she has bonded and with whom her sessions have been private, assist in talking to her about her life with her  mother. This request has been denied. I have asked about CASA and been informed that they only get involved in ongoing court cases. Ours has been adjudicated already, now we simply are in the throes of another DCFS case. None of this makes any sense. The fact of the matter is that the courts and DCFS in this state consider family reunification to be the holy grail.

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I guess I pushed the wrong button.

Edited by GeeGolly

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21 hours ago, crazycatlady58 said:

I use the Beekman 1802 face cream and their bar soap. Fantastic products.

I'll try this.  I've suddenly become interested in fragrances. Tough to do from home without samples though!  

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4 minutes ago, SunnyBeBe said:

I'll try this.  I've suddenly become interested in fragrances. Tough to do from home without samples though!  

Depending on what you want, you can buy fragrance samples for around $5 online.  I am obsessed with perfumes, and like to occasionally buy some samples or decants to spice things up.  I also like to sample the expensive scents to see if they are worth the money for me.  

Surrender to Chance sells decants in various sizes

https://surrendertochance.com/

Lucky Scents sells samples and full size bottles

https://www.luckyscent.com/

Some perfumers even sell samples on their websites.  

For more mainstream scents

FragranceX 

https://www.fragrancex.com/products/perfume_samples.html

and Fragrancenet

https://www.fragrancex.com/products/perfume_samples.html

are reputable sites that sell samples.

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4 minutes ago, Ohiopirate02 said:

Depending on what you want, you can buy fragrance samples for around $5 online.  I am obsessed with perfumes, and like to occasionally buy some samples or decants to spice things up.  I also like to sample the expensive scents to see if they are worth the money for me.  

Surrender to Chance sells decants in various sizes

https://surrendertochance.com/

Lucky Scents sells samples and full size bottles

https://www.luckyscent.com/

Some perfumers even sell samples on their websites.  

For more mainstream scents

FragranceX 

https://www.fragrancex.com/products/perfume_samples.html

and Fragrancenet

https://www.fragrancex.com/products/perfume_samples.html

are reputable sites that sell samples.

THANK YOU.  This is awesome.  

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well, rx update.   i talked to my doctor at length yesterday on the phone. she outright laughed at the gall of a rx that cost that much. she has decided, after more detailed convo with me, that i need a 2nd opinion from a new pulmonologist. the back story is that the pulmonologist that was seeing me told me to my face that i didnt need oxygen and that my asthma/copd wasn't that bad -- he treats 'many more patients that are WAY worse off ' than i am. he shifted me to an allergist to treat my asthma. when this new doctor (allergist) heard what my o2 levels are and how limited i am with any form of exercise/movement, she said that the second opinion is necessary.  so i have an in person appt on june 20.  its progress, i guess.

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I was just wondering about how you were doing...thanks for the update. Sounds like that pulmonologist is a jerk...you know what they say, someone graduates from med school at the bottom of the class and it sounds like him. Condescending putz.

I am so hoping this new doctor works out for you! 

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I am taking a little lunch break on my last day before vacation- it looks nothing like I had planned but I am grateful to have a job and grateful to have some days off to decompress and relax. I also am getting my nails done and hair colored- yay!

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My small town in Massachusetts had a small demonstration in memory of George Floyd this week. There was very little publicity ahead of time. I did see a Facebook comment that said out-of-towners were coming to town to make trouble, watch out for them. The actual event was photographed (80+ pictures on FB), and was attended by about two dozen people, including two local African-Americans, the fire chief, the police chief, the town manager, and 15 +/- other local folks. Lots of people commented on-line that they would have gone if they had known about it.  What worries me is, why did someone post the warning about out-of-towners?

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We had a completely peaceful protest in my Southern California city this afternoon, organized and led by college and high school students. It was four hours long, began with a sit-in and then an approximately one mile march. They came about a block from our house and it looked like the majority had masks on, but all were way closer than six feet apart. Police were nearby, but did not interfere at all with the march. I was so proud of the students for their peaceful protest.

Edited by Love2dance · Reason: Clarity
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15 hours ago, Porkchop said:

My small town in Massachusetts had a small demonstration in memory of George Floyd this week. There was very little publicity ahead of time. I did see a Facebook comment that said out-of-towners were coming to town to make trouble, watch out for them. The actual event was photographed (80+ pictures on FB), and was attended by about two dozen people, including two local African-Americans, the fire chief, the police chief, the town manager, and 15 +/- other local folks. Lots of people commented on-line that they would have gone if they had known about it.  What worries me is, why did someone post the warning about out-of-towners?

To keep attendance low, I’m guessing. Sigh.

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15 hours ago, Porkchop said:

My small town in Massachusetts had a small demonstration in memory of George Floyd this week. There was very little publicity ahead of time. I did see a Facebook comment that said out-of-towners were coming to town to make trouble, watch out for them. The actual event was photographed (80+ pictures on FB), and was attended by about two dozen people, including two local African-Americans, the fire chief, the police chief, the town manager, and 15 +/- other local folks. Lots of people commented on-line that they would have gone if they had known about it.  What worries me is, why did someone post the warning about out-of-towners?

That sounds like a town I know. Very wealthy, very closed minded. They circumvent every regulation to still receive federal monies and remain "white".

Edited to add, not your town, a similar town.

Edited by GeeGolly
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I hope this doesn’t sound frivolous, but watching some of last night‘s protests that turned into giant dance parties:

  1. Warmed my cold cynical heart.
  2. Introduced me to the “Cupid Shuffle” 
  3. I plan to spend the day with it on repeat.
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7 hours ago, Oldernowiser said:

I hope this doesn’t sound frivolous, but watching some of last night‘s protests that turned into giant dance parties:

  1. Warmed my cold cynical heart.
  2. Introduced me to the “Cupid Shuffle” 
  3. I plan to spend the day with it on repeat.

The Cupid Shuffle!!!! You knew the wedding or family reunion was in the thick of things when that came on. And then we would have to clear the floor for the elderly to do the electric slide. Such fun. 

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4 hours ago, Scarlett45 said:

The Cupid Shuffle!!!! You knew the wedding or family reunion was in the thick of things when that came on. And then we would have to clear the floor for the elderly do do the electric slide. Such fun. 

Wait, the elderly?

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9 minutes ago, DangerousMinds said:

Wait, the elderly?

Ok EVERYONE can do the electric slide!🤣

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4 hours ago, Scarlett45 said:

The Cupid Shuffle!!!! You knew the wedding or family reunion was in the thick of things when that came on. And then we would have to clear the floor for the elderly do do the electric slide. Such fun. 

Hey, I’m elderly and I love the electric slide AND the cupid shuffle.
I can’t WAIT to dance again!

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23 minutes ago, Scarlett45 said:

Ok EVERYONE can do the electric slide!🤣

I have tried that so many times, but my uncoordinated self has never gotten it right. I usually disappear to the powder room then. I think I have a better chance of doing the Cupid shuffle. 

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I flunked out of dance in 2nd grade because I don't know my left from my right and I still don't and when I dance everyone is embarrassed, trust me. I want to dance but I didn't get the right genes for coordination and proprioception.  

Not to say I dance like Elaine Bennis but I try to avoid possibility for comparison.

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56 minutes ago, Scarlett45 said:

Ok EVERYONE can do the electric slide!🤣

I need a lot of wine to even attempt to do The Electric Slide. Even with much wine, I am not very successful. But at least I think I am facing the same direction as everybody else... (at least I hope I am!)

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Elder? I’ll give you elder, my whippersnapper...who here remembers the line dance to Free Ride?

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18 minutes ago, Oldernowiser said:

Elder? I’ll give you elder, my whippersnapper...who here remembers the line dance to Free Ride?

Hahahahaha. I’m so old my line dance was the bunny hop and the hokey pokey!

 

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1 hour ago, Oldernowiser said:

Elder? I’ll give you elder, my whippersnapper...who here remembers the line dance to Free Ride?

Free Ride had a line dance? You learn something new every day.

Love that song btw. All these commercials using music from the 60s and 70's is really a good trend.

Edited by Chicklet
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43 minutes ago, Love2dance said:

Hahahahaha. I’m so old my line dance was the bunny hop and the hokey pokey!

 

On roller skates!

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So they had a virtual zoom party for the residents at my Mom’s hospital, to celebrate the end of the year since the traditional party wasn’t happening. 
 

Someone hacked into the zoom party and sent hate messages, obscenities and racial slurs.

 

They had to end the zoom party. 
 

The residents have still graduated and we will have more Ob/Gyns in the world but it made my mom really sad for them. 

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This is why this country cannot have nice things.

Hopefully we are changing that.

My assistant is leaving to go to medical school this fall, either remotely or in person, they haven't decided yet. We are having cake and ice cream for him, at a 6 foot distance with masks. Should be fun huh? But it's better than nothing but sad as we give really good parties for departing staff.

Edited by Chicklet
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3 hours ago, Mindthinkr said:

I have tried that so many times, but my uncoordinated self has never gotten it right. I usually disappear to the powder room then. I think I have a better chance of doing the Cupid shuffle. 

Aaaahhhh! My spirit animal!!! I thought I was the only one who avoided those things like the plague!

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18 minutes ago, latetotheparty said:

Goddamn that makes me mad. Please tell your mom how sorry I am. 

I will. I’m letting my friends with little ones know so that they will be prepared to shut things down if need be. 
 

The same thing happened this week at another friend’s virtual church service. Sad. 

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1 hour ago, Scarlett45 said:

So they had a virtual zoom party for the residents at my Mom’s hospital, to celebrate the end of the year since the traditional party wasn’t happening. 
 

Someone hacked into the zoom party and sent hate messages, obscenities and racial slurs.

 

They had to end the zoom party. 
 

The residents have still graduated and we will have more Ob/Gyns in the world but it made my mom really sad for them. 

It breaks my heart to hear this. Why must people be do mean? 

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4 hours ago, Love2dance said:

Hey, I’m elderly and I love the electric slide AND the cupid shuffle.
I can’t WAIT to dance again!

I'm old, too (71), but before I saw these posts I'd never even heard of the electric slide or the cupid shuffle, let alone be able to do them. I need to get out more!

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36 minutes ago, Jynnan tonnix said:

Aaaahhhh! My spirit animal!!! I thought I was the only one who avoided those things like the plague!

Me too. I can’t dance I got 2 left feet. 

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28 minutes ago, galaxychaser said:

Me too. I can’t dance I got 2 left feet. 

Me too...and they each move to a separate beat!

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2 hours ago, Scarlett45 said:

So they had a virtual zoom party for the residents at my Mom’s hospital, to celebrate the end of the year since the traditional party wasn’t happening. 
 

Someone hacked into the zoom party and sent hate messages, obscenities and racial slurs.

 

They had to end the zoom party. 
 

The residents have still graduated and we will have more Ob/Gyns in the world but it made my mom really sad for them. 

That truly sucks, the absolute nastiness of some people is mind boggling.  We usually have a nice dinner followed by dancing (including the Cupid Shuffle usually) for the residents and fellows, too, but that has gone by the wayside, too.  We're zooming them out next week.

I am a terrible dancer, I've even taken lessons, but my feet are not attached to my brain properly and I can't even fake it.  However, I am perfectly able to do the Cupid Shuffle and the Electric Slide, probably due to my years of experience doing the Chicken Dance and Hokey Pokey at Polish weddings.  I find laughing at myself and not giving a dam* is very helpful, too.

When I was in college in the '70's and disco was all the rage; people took lessons to learn the Hustle and the Bus Stop among other line dances.  I couldn't do those right either.

Edited by doodlebug
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2 hours ago, Scarlett45 said:

 

Someone hacked into the zoom party and sent hate messages, obscenities and racial slurs.

Just when I think humanity can't possibly sink any lower, I read something like this. 2020 needs to take a giant leap off a cliff.

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6 hours ago, Chicklet said:

I flunked out of dance in 2nd grade because I don't know my left from my right and I still don't and when I dance everyone is embarrassed, trust me. I want to dance but I didn't get the right genes for coordination and proprioception.  

Not to say I dance like Elaine Bennis but I try to avoid possibility for comparison.

This reminds me of zumba, which I did twice a week for the last few years until the quarantine.  I miss it.  In my mind I am "dancing" but if I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror it looks like I am fighting off an assailant!  So I stand behind someone.

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In other less serious news.....

 

And the conclusion from my adventure under the crawl space (I’ve owned this building over three years and had never been under there) is that: 

1. I don't have enough upper body strength to cut a pad lock with bolt cutters. (I took the door off the hinges and just put them back when I was done)

2. I found a reusable Walmart grocery bag, an old mattress, sofa cushion from the 70s (based on the pattern of the cushion) cardboard and spider webs.

3. Also access to the electrical system and a heating/cooling duct. I think I saw how the mouse could’ve gotten in the house this winter.

I will find someone with enough strength to get that lock off and put on a new one I bought with a proper key. 


But, for the first time in quarantine I my Mom was annoying the “you know what out of me”. She’s been freaking out about me investigating the crawl space, “you can’t crawl in there! I will pull you out, blah blah.” And then watched me like I was a toddler playing with the stove. 

I told her she was making me nervous!!!!

“Put your goggles on, where are your gloves” blah blah I swear on all that is holy. 

Yes I had goggles and gloves!

 

Its wonderful to be loved so much but hot damn she’s a lot to take sometimes. 

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Oh, Scarlett, I'm so sorry about what happened at your mom's party. I have no idea why people are so awful. 😞 

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A group I belong to has weekly zoom meetings and you have to be very careful to only give the the number of the group and password to those you want in the meeting and not on a public social media site.
I’m so sorry that happened during your mom’s group, @Scarlett45.

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Well, for all you elderly boomers out there, I dance like an elephant on romper stomper coffee cans!  I'm having a milestone birthday in a week or so, and it's been confusing the hell out of the receptionists at my various medical appointments because my age and the year of my birth are about to be the same (60).  I love to do the cupid shuffle and the cha cha slide.  

@Scarlett45, I'm sorry your mom's group got zoom-bombed.  I admire your trip into the crawl space--I doubt I could do that.  I have the only access to the attic space in my house--the ceiling in a closet is open.  My mom stuck her head up there when I moved in.  She could see a suitcase and I don't remember what else, and she wanted to know if I wanted her to bring that stuff out, but I said oh HELL no!

I've been very depressed lately. The news makes me physically ill.  As a white person from an extremely white Massachusetts small town (like 97% white), I feel so helpless and powerless.  I try to post things on my facebook account to keep pointing out the injustices I see because I don't know what else to do.  I'm kind of afraid to go to a protest because we've had some scuffles in the neighboring city.  I work in a school in the poorest neighborhood of that city, where over 60% of the kids are ELLs (English language learners whose first language is something else). An even higher percentage are people of color, and I can't imagine what my "babies" will face if our country doesn't change.  They are scared of what they're seeing and hearing on the news, and I'm scared for them.  

Being alone when I'm alone just amplifies everything for me.  Yes, my aunt lives downstairs and loves me more than she loves anyone else on earth, but that's not the same as having a partner--I feel like I'm not the most important person in the world to anyone.  My husband left me five years ago, and I haven't met anyone else, even though I'd like to be in a relationship again. My son loves me but he lives 1000 miles away, my daughter and her husband tolerate me, and I'm not close to my mother or my sister. Even though I have lots of friends and activities to keep me busy in normal times, these are not normal times.  If I'd been a pioneer woman, I probably would have killed myself from the isolation.  I've figured out I am not a person who could live for 60 days in one of those picturesque log cabins for $1 million. I'm used to being out of my house for 12-14 hours a day.  Much as I despise myself for it, I am one of those people bopping off to the grocery store or Walmart every few days, wearing one of my many masks or scarves, because I "need" milk or eggs or cat food.  This quarantine has really given me a new perspective on prison--I can't imagine how we came up with the idea that it's okay to lock people up in tiny rooms with no windows for 23 hours a day in solitary confinement.  As you can see, my thinking is kind of muddled, too.  I'm finding it hard to stay focused, and my schoolwork is suffering because my discussion board posts are less than organized.  

My daughter very kindly agreed to help me with a video project for work, and I bought dinner for her and her husband and we played games afterwards, but I came home and cried because the whole time I was there, it was a litany of "suggestions" of things I could do to change myself and criticisms of everything from the number of books I own (probably in the thousands) to how I "hid" my salt shaker to try to help bring my blood pressure down. (I shouldn't hide it; I should make conscious choices not to use it because otherwise I'm playing mind games with myself and not owning my choices, etc.)

So here's the question I have that has been weighing on me for this past week.  Please don't jump on me or rip me a new one, but just tell me what I should have said so I can know going forward.  I tend to watch the same movies over and over again because I use them as background noise, but once in a while, I'll watch something new because I'm too lazy to find the remote to change the channel.  So I told them I hadn't watched anything new except for a black chick movie (I meant to say chick flick)and started to describe it, but my daughter jumped all over me for how I labeled the movie.  Her husband did say he had just used the expression white chicks, but she wasn't having it. I felt so small and squirmy, which is an ongoing thing when I'm with them.  If I deserved to, I want to know what I should have said, because in all the finger-pointing and mom-shaming, my daughter never did tell me what I should have said.  I'm not terribly woke, but I'd like to be.  

I'm sorry this is all over the place.  I don't have anybody I can talk to about this.  Thanks for any enlightenment you can shine my way.

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Magpye- I'm not a therapist but I play one at work and maybe you could take advantage of one of the online therapy offerings out there?  It's so freeing to talk to someone who doesn't have baggage that concerns you. ( I recommend therapy to everybody and I'm sure I annoy them). My own family and life situations have had me attend therapy many times  (I'm old), but I feel you on the family issue, only my brother, sister-in-law and their kids speak to me other than one cousin. And it might help you feel better. And when this interminable virus is over you might have more opportunities to do new things, meet new people.

 

Edited by Chicklet
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Magpye, it sounds like there is unfinished business b/w your daughter and you - and it may be her problem, btw. Maybe something she needs to work out. I find in situations like that, that  sometimes the best I can do is to react differently. An example: as he ages, my husband is getting so cranky and will start yelling about something, anything at any time. He is never yelling at me, but that's how it feels to me. I get very stressed about it, because it reminds me of when my Dad would start yelling when I was a kid. I just hate yelling! (btw, hubby had a stroke 6 years ago and that's basically when it started. He blames the stroke, but from what I hear about old men my friends are married to, it's not that unusual. Plus we are living in very stressful times, but I digress!) Anyway, the idea came to me to just walk away. I don't know why I never thought of it before. I just go into another room and close the door. It kind of drives him crazy, but it brings me peace of mind. He can yell if he wants to, but I choose not to be part of it. Maybe you could react differently when your daughter starts in on you. Maybe you could change the subject or leave or just say, "Look at the time! I better get going!" If you don't engage, you can't be the receptacle for her complaints, so it becomes something she has to deal with herself. If you choose to, you can discuss it when things are calmer. 

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7 hours ago, magpye29 said:

Being alone when I'm alone just amplifies everything for me.  Yes, my aunt lives downstairs and loves me more than she loves anyone else on earth, but that's not the same as having a partner--I feel like I'm not the most important person in the world to anyone.  My husband left me five years ago, and I haven't met anyone else, even though I'd like to be in a relationship again. My son loves me but he lives 1000 miles away, my daughter and her husband tolerate me, and I'm not close to my mother or my sister. Even though I have lots of friends and activities to keep me busy in normal times, these are not normal times.  If I'd been a pioneer woman, I probably would have killed myself from the isolation.  I've figured out I am not a person who could live for 60 days in one of those picturesque log cabins for $1 million. I'm used to being out of my house for 12-14 hours a day.  Much as I despise myself for it, I am one of those people bopping off to the grocery store or Walmart every few days, wearing one of my many masks or scarves, because I "need" milk or eggs or cat food.  This quarantine has really given me a new perspective on prison--I can't imagine how we came up with the idea that it's okay to lock people up in tiny rooms with no windows for 23 hours a day in solitary confinement.  As you can see, my thinking is kind of muddled, too.  I'm finding it hard to stay focused, and my schoolwork is suffering because my discussion board posts are less than organized.  

I certainly understand how you feel- this has been hard on single people. I’m not married or partnered (and trust, I have no desire to be), but not being able to see any of my friends in a “regular” way, or socialize for almost three months has been hard. 
 

I do have my Mom (she and my sister live downstairs) who is my favorite being on this earth, and my most important person- so I have seen a real live person who talks back and that’s been good (she’s been a trooper during this thing), but no we aren’t designed to only talk to one other person in person for months at a time. 

A cousin of mine was unjustly convinced of killing her abusive husband (back in the 1980s), and although she’s been out of prison longer than she was in she could not stay inside during the stay at home order.  So every day she took a drive and ran all the errands for her sisters house (making a little bubble between the two homes).

My bff and I had dinner at an outdoor restaurant on Friday and nothing has felt so good in a long time. 
 

Are things opening back up where you live? I know I will be WFH for a while but I will feel better now that I can meet a friend for an ice cream cone or a coffee or sit on a park. I am going to do a tie dye project with my god daughter (shes 5) and that’s going to be fun. 
 

I too echo the suggestions of trying some online therapy. Talking to someone that has no history with you or social expectations is good for you. 

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9 hours ago, magpye29 said:

Well, for all you elderly boomers out there, I dance like an elephant on romper stomper coffee cans!  I'm having a milestone birthday in a week or so, and it's been confusing the hell out of the receptionists at my various medical appointments because my age and the year of my birth are about to be the same (60).  I love to do the cupid shuffle and the cha cha slide.  

@Scarlett45, I'm sorry your mom's group got zoom-bombed.  I admire your trip into the crawl space--I doubt I could do that.  I have the only access to the attic space in my house--the ceiling in a closet is open.  My mom stuck her head up there when I moved in.  She could see a suitcase and I don't remember what else, and she wanted to know if I wanted her to bring that stuff out, but I said oh HELL no!

I've been very depressed lately. The news makes me physically ill.  As a white person from an extremely white Massachusetts small town (like 97% white), I feel so helpless and powerless.  I try to post things on my facebook account to keep pointing out the injustices I see because I don't know what else to do.  I'm kind of afraid to go to a protest because we've had some scuffles in the neighboring city.  I work in a school in the poorest neighborhood of that city, where over 60% of the kids are ELLs (English language learners whose first language is something else). An even higher percentage are people of color, and I can't imagine what my "babies" will face if our country doesn't change.  They are scared of what they're seeing and hearing on the news, and I'm scared for them.  

Being alone when I'm alone just amplifies everything for me.  Yes, my aunt lives downstairs and loves me more than she loves anyone else on earth, but that's not the same as having a partner--I feel like I'm not the most important person in the world to anyone.  My husband left me five years ago, and I haven't met anyone else, even though I'd like to be in a relationship again. My son loves me but he lives 1000 miles away, my daughter and her husband tolerate me, and I'm not close to my mother or my sister. Even though I have lots of friends and activities to keep me busy in normal times, these are not normal times.  If I'd been a pioneer woman, I probably would have killed myself from the isolation.  I've figured out I am not a person who could live for 60 days in one of those picturesque log cabins for $1 million. I'm used to being out of my house for 12-14 hours a day.  Much as I despise myself for it, I am one of those people bopping off to the grocery store or Walmart every few days, wearing one of my many masks or scarves, because I "need" milk or eggs or cat food.  This quarantine has really given me a new perspective on prison--I can't imagine how we came up with the idea that it's okay to lock people up in tiny rooms with no windows for 23 hours a day in solitary confinement.  As you can see, my thinking is kind of muddled, too.  I'm finding it hard to stay focused, and my schoolwork is suffering because my discussion board posts are less than organized.  

My daughter very kindly agreed to help me with a video project for work, and I bought dinner for her and her husband and we played games afterwards, but I came home and cried because the whole time I was there, it was a litany of "suggestions" of things I could do to change myself and criticisms of everything from the number of books I own (probably in the thousands) to how I "hid" my salt shaker to try to help bring my blood pressure down. (I shouldn't hide it; I should make conscious choices not to use it because otherwise I'm playing mind games with myself and not owning my choices, etc.)

So here's the question I have that has been weighing on me for this past week.  Please don't jump on me or rip me a new one, but just tell me what I should have said so I can know going forward.  I tend to watch the same movies over and over again because I use them as background noise, but once in a while, I'll watch something new because I'm too lazy to find the remote to change the channel.  So I told them I hadn't watched anything new except for a black chick movie (I meant to say chick flick)and started to describe it, but my daughter jumped all over me for how I labeled the movie.  Her husband did say he had just used the expression white chicks, but she wasn't having it. I felt so small and squirmy, which is an ongoing thing when I'm with them.  If I deserved to, I want to know what I should have said, because in all the finger-pointing and mom-shaming, my daughter never did tell me what I should have said.  I'm not terribly woke, but I'd like to be.  

I'm sorry this is all over the place.  I don't have anybody I can talk to about this.  Thanks for any enlightenment you can shine my way.

Sending you a big hug. I’m sorry your kid isn’t treating you right. 

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20 hours ago, Love2dance said:

Hey, I’m elderly and I love the electric slide AND the cupid shuffle.
I can’t WAIT to dance again!

I really can't dance but I'm good at line dancing.  I took it up immediately after retiring 5 years ago and it's the highlight of my week!

Line dancing is practically the only thing I'm missing during this quarantine.  My class is at the local senior activity center and it's not reopening any time soon.  And once it does, it'll be a long time till any type of dancing resumes there.

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