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Small Talk: The Prayer Closet

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ChiCricket I am a big ole heathen...come sit next to me.  I think it's okay to believe in God, Allah, whoever, whatever trips your trigger.  It's just as okay to be full fledged non believer and still wish people well.  I do roll my eyes at the God will protect us bullshit myself - because really, if God made us in his/her image and gave us a brain to think with, then it's up to us to protect and take care of ourselves,  and not rely on him/her to do the job for us.    We are perfectly capable of that shit all on our own.  

I hit Target early in the AM - seems to be the best time to get anything there, they still open at 8AM and I was there at 9AM.  the TP/paper towels were about half gone thru, so even though I'm beat as hell right now and turning in shortly it was worth getting up for.

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1 hour ago, jcbrown said:

I'm so sorry. My husband and I are both atheists and I cannot imagine what you're going through. Hang in there and vent here as much as you need to.

Thank you...this helps. 

PS..I know they're scared and it's their way of coping😟

 

Edited by ChiCricket
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I'm going to have to leave the house this week, I'm almost out of produce, paper towels, and *gasp* liquor (I've been craving a margarita this week and there is no tequila in the house). Normally I might do grocery delivery but my neighbors have said it's really hit or miss with the person doing the shopping/selection, so I figure either way, I'll have to go myself. Luckily, the stores here are only allowing small numbers into the stores at once and they are sanitizing everything, but I'm still a little hesitant. Isn't it weird how in just a few short weeks making a trip to the grocery store became such a serious decision? What a weird world it's become. 

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We have a pretty fancy Walmart near us, and the grocery pickup has worked really well...if you can get in at the right time online to reserve a pickup time.  No tp or towels but food seems to be pretty well stocked.

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@ChiCricket, so sorry you are going through all this and that your nephew isn’t doing well. I also have a hard time dealing with understanding a God that would allow the things happening now if it could be prevented. I would love to believe that prayer could help, but my agnostic brain won’t let me go there. I envy those who have faith. But you are not alone, and yes, what I tell people who are hurting is that they are in my thoughts, sending good thoughts and love, etc. And I mean it as heartfelt as if it was a prayer. Which is what I’m sending you for your nephew.

Oh my gosh, Just as I was sending this to you I got your last post. I am so, so sorry to hear of your nephew’s loss. That is just tragic. There are no words. I can only send you hugs and sympathy. 😥

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Talking about Easter candy I am not saying where I work but I have a calendar that tells me when the holiday items come in and when they are put on the shelves. It takes 3 days to get all of it out. I call MommyRabbittron and let her know and on the 4th day she is at the store buying it.

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13 hours ago, ChiCricket said:

My husband and I actually just got in an argument, because when he heard the update, he said said "I'm going upsstairs to pray", and I then burst into tears and said  "if there IS a God, why did he let F___ get it in the first place?!"

 So yeah..it's not going well here rn.

(((ChiCricket))) - I'm so sorry it's not going well there. I hope things are better this morning. In my home it's the opposite. My husband rails against the idea of God and I'm more agnostic. I think there may well be a higher power and it brought me comfort yesterday to watch a service online (progressive pastor!).  But I'm against organized religion and I'm a doubting Tom.  I worked with a lovely woman who was always saying "God has a plan. The angels are watching. Blah blah blah" about everything!  I liked her, but not her beliefs. Like others here, when she'd say she was praying for me, I'd say thank you and try to change the subject. I don't understand why this pandemic is sweeping the globe and I wonder what the world will be like when it's over. Hugs!

ETA: ChiCricket, I wrote the above before I realized that your nephew had passed. I'm so very sorry for your loss and I'm thinking of you and your family. 

Edited by BetyBee
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Thanks for all the good wishes! I ended up having to learn how to do his infusion via Zoom meeting, but it went well. I'm comfortable now that I have several under my belt. They did give us extenders, but I'm home full-time at the moment (my company is an essential business, but I'm an accountant so they have me working remotely), so I can handle it for him. We even tackled a shower yesterday, with much Saran Wrap involved. LOL. Our home nurse comes for her first visit this morning, to draw bloodwork & do a dressing change.

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20 hours ago, beckie said:

Hubby and I have been sheltering in place for a little over a week now. I'm more of a homebody so finding crafts and stuff to do has been easier for me. He's very active much of the time and prefers working and being outside so he's having a harder time of it. But he also has stage 3 COPD so he stays in. Also his insurance expired at the beginning of January so I'm afraid they'd turn him away if he did get sick.

No, they wouldn't.  It is against the law to turn away a patient in an emergency, insured or not.  The law is called EMTALA.

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18 minutes ago, doodlebug said:

No, they wouldn't.  It is against the law to turn away a patient in an emergency, insured or not.  The law is called EMTALA.

I wasn't sure about that. I was only going by a story I read online about someone being turned away because they didn't have insurance. At times like these, things that are supposed to be one way, aren't because of circumstances.

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57 minutes ago, doodlebug said:

No, they wouldn't.  It is against the law to turn away a patient in an emergency, insured or not.  The law is called EMTALA.

I wasn't sure about that. I was only going by a story I read online about someone being turned away because they didn't have insurance. At times like these, things that are supposed to be one way, aren't because of circumstances.

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13 hours ago, jcbrown said:

I'm so sorry. My husband and I are both atheists and I cannot imagine what you're going through. Hang in there and vent here as much as you need to.

We had a surprise video chat last night with six high school/college friends, some of whom we have not connected to for more than 15 years and it was really cool. A few decent things are coming out of this, and I say that as someone who went totally stir crazy today and settled for pacing the main floor while reading a book. Hey, it helped!

Yup, we do have our share of atheists/agnostics here if you need to vent. Mr Jyn and I have the occasional debate on religion, but though he says he believes, I think he's a deist at best, because the God he believes in doesn't seem to spend much time actually worrying about what goes on in the world. 

I can't imagine living with someone who was strongly religious, though...I think it would drive me batty!

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16 hours ago, ChiCricket said:

There's other agnostics in here, right?

   I'm feeling extremely  overwhelmed with my very religious family members at this time. Especially in the group where we're getting updates on my nephew F's health.

We just got another one, and he is NOT doing well. 😭

  I think I'm going to scream if one more person writes:

"He's going to be OK..because we're all praying for him!!"

Then everyone else in the family chimes in with all the same sentiments.

and I don't know what to say (type) because I don't think any of it will help...and I'm not going to be hypocrite and say I'll pray when I can't.

But I can't NOT say something...does anyone else know what I mean?

 I already said I'm keeping him in my thoughts and heart..what else can I say?

 I don't really need answers...I just needed to talk to someone...ANYONE who feels as I do right now!! I can't even talk to my own husband, for Pete's sakes. 😭 

My husband and I don't talk religion (or politics) together anymore..but now he's starting to again. I don't think I can't take this up and down stress. 😞

 

 

I'm not an agnostic, but I think your message is just fine.  I am a Christian, but I don't believe that that exempts me from all pain and suffering and I personally don't pray for people expecting a miracle cure.  What I pray for is peace, grace and acceptance of the situation that we're facing; that we will all come together, at least in spirit, to love one another and help one another, whatever may come.  After all, the Lord's Prayer lays it out for us, 'Thy will be done'.

I'm sorry for your loss and, I just hope that your entire family gets peace in this time.

I just heard from an old friend of 40 years.  Her daughter is in her early 30's and a resident at a Detroit area hospital.  She's been diagnosed with Covid and is home.  Her mom is really worried because she had asthma as a kid and it tends to flare up with respiratory infections.  This virus is something else.

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1 hour ago, doodlebug said:

No, they wouldn't.  It is against the law to turn away a patient in an emergency, insured or not.  The law is called EMTALA.

@doodlebug thank you for confirming that. I knew it was illegal to turn someone away in Minnesota but I wasn’t sure about the rest of the country. I was without insurance for three and a half years between my last job that offered coverage and Medicare. (ACA rates for being over 60 were prohibitive.) I had an episode of pneumonia during that period and I received excellent care from the hospital and even qualified for a grant from their foundation  that covered a large chunk of the bill. I hope you won’t need them, Beckie, but the care will be there if you do. 

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42 minutes ago, latetotheparty said:

@doodlebug thank you for confirming that. I knew it was illegal to turn someone away in Minnesota but I wasn’t sure about the rest of the country. I was without insurance for three and a half years between my last job that offered coverage and Medicare. (ACA rates for being over 60 were prohibitive.) I had an episode of pneumonia during that period and I received excellent care from the hospital and even qualified for a grant from their foundation  that covered a large chunk of the bill. I hope you won’t need them, Beckie, but the care will be there if you do. 

Any hospital that gets federal funding, which is virtually all of them, also has to provide indigent care and write off a certain amount for people who are uninsured and cannot afford care.  Since I work for a large hospital system that even includes office visits and routine care like Pap smears and mammograms.  We call it 'rating' here.  We are also told that we should do whatever we feel is appropriate for any rated patient.  I can order whatever blood work or ultrasounds or whatever I feel is needed to assess that patient and they will not have to pay, they won't even get a bill.  The only exception is for elective services, so a patient cannot get free breast implants nor can we do tubal ligations since there are other options.

To get rated, call the nearest hospital and ask for the business office.  Tell them you're uninsured and cannot afford to pay.  They'll ask you some questions about your finances and, if approved, you usually get 30 days to see anyone you need to see within the system.  A couple years back, my nephew, who had been laid off, messed up his knee playing basketball.  He got rated and saw a top orthopedist a couple times, got physical therapy and an MRI at no cost to him.  Had he needed surgery, he would not have had to pay for that either.

You've got to ask, but it is certainly worth it if you cannot afford health care.

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ChiCricket, I'm so sorry for what your family is going through. This virus is brutal. 

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1 hour ago, doodlebug said:

Any hospital that gets federal funding, which is virtually all of them, also has to provide indigent care and write off a certain amount for people who are uninsured and cannot afford care.  Since I work for a large hospital system that even includes office visits and routine care like Pap smears and mammograms.  We call it 'rating' here.  We are also told that we should do whatever we feel is appropriate for any rated patient.  I can order whatever blood work or ultrasounds or whatever I feel is needed to assess that patient and they will not have to pay, they won't even get a bill.  The only exception is for elective services, so a patient cannot get free breast implants nor can we do tubal ligations since there are other options.

To get rated, call the nearest hospital and ask for the business office.  Tell them you're uninsured and cannot afford to pay.  They'll ask you some questions about your finances and, if approved, you usually get 30 days to see anyone you need to see within the system.  A couple years back, my nephew, who had been laid off, messed up his knee playing basketball.  He got rated and saw a top orthopedist a couple times, got physical therapy and an MRI at no cost to him.  Had he needed surgery, he would not have had to pay for that either.

You've got to ask, but it is certainly worth it if you cannot afford health care.

This is really interesting. I know several people who HAVE healthcare insurance and they were told by the facility that they HAD to bring a certain amount to pay the hospital before their surgery would be performed. Not elective surgery, but, to repair fractures!  Like, $2000.00 before they would operate.  

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12 hours ago, ChiCricket said:

He just died 😭  

I am so sorry for your loss.

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1 hour ago, SunnyBeBe said:

This is really interesting. I know several people who HAVE healthcare insurance and they were told by the facility that they HAD to bring a certain amount to pay the hospital before their surgery would be performed. Not elective surgery, but, to repair fractures!  Like, $2000.00 before they would operate.  

My friend had a baby in early March. She ended up having a scheduled induction. The hospital called her 3 days before her induction and told her that their new policy effective January 1st is that patients have to pay 50% of their copay up front. So they were asking for about $2000, up front, 3 days before she was scheduled. She argued with them about not paying and why they didn't tell her at any point in her pregnancy that this policy had changed and that without knowing how labor goes, they can't guarantee what codes will be billed to insurance and their estimated copay was just guesswork. They agreed to let her pay $500 instead which I still think is crummy to spring on someone. Luckily she had it, but some people can't come up with that kind of money quickly, and while I'm sure they wouldn't be turned away, what a rotten stress to put on someone right a procedure. 

Fun fact about that story is that we work for the hospital system. We were all pretty disgusted with our employer that day. 

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2 hours ago, BetyBee said:

I think that case, if I'm thinking of the same story (the teenager who died) was that he was turned away from Urgent Care.  Maybe that's different from an emergency room?

Guess what? I called my Mother and told her that she should continue to use a delivery service, that we're not doing her groceries during or after the pandemic. And that I will continue calling her several times a week and I look forward to visiting her (to visit, not do groceries) once a month after this pandemic is over. She thought that was just fine and thinks none of my my siblings should come visit until the danger is over either. Whew!  We actually had a nice chat. Also, my strep is healing (it must be because my throat hurts less and the bumps by my tonsils are gone).  I still have a cough, but I'm dealing with that.  I'm starting to feel human again!

That's great!

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 @CHICRICKET-I am so sorry for your loss.  I found myself thinking of your family last night, and my heart broke reading your post this morning.  Sending you a virtual hug ♥

@doodlebug-I just wanted to thank you for your posts.  I know this sounds strange, but it's been comforting to get info from a grounded professional on the front lines.  I always enjoy your posts, but in current times, they are very much appreciated.  Thank you for doing what you do!

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