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Small Talk: The Prayer Closet


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Ugh, I was on some heavy duty medication for a few months this spring (damn allergies) and now I'm experiencing a ton of hair loss now that I'm off it. Apparently since I am more susceptible to hair loss because I have thyroid issues and coming off of the med can be a shock to your system, my body is reacting by dropping handfuls of hair. My doctor said it could take a few months to slow down, too. Washing my hair is not fun. 

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@Happyfatchick I’m so happy you made it to the bra store! They had the show called “Double Divas” a while back on lifetime. I get to Kennesaw pretty regularly but forget to go there. I had my bras fitted in Atlanta at Phipps at a place called My Intimacy. It is still there but name change. And the person never touched me or used a measuring tape and same thing. Brought in a bunch of bras and they fit!  It is transforming  regardless of  boob size to wear the right sized bra.  It’s just more comfortable to have the girls up where they need to be. 

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I only wear a bra to church because I have an elastic allergy that has popped up in my old age. (Thankfully, I no longer work). All the rest of the time I wear 100% cotton undershirts from The Vermont Store. But I really would like to get a professional bra fitting. I’m just afraid I’d end up with a really expensive bra and I can’t justify the cost right now. Anyway, I went to JC Penney and asked for a measurement and the lady whips out her measuring tape and proceeds to measure me RIGHT AT THE CHECKOUT COUNTER in front of God and everybody! Needless to say, I told her never mind.

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9 hours ago, BetyBee said:

I have had medium good luck with ThirdLove.  My right strap still slips.  It's maddening!  I'm at the other end of the spectrum for bra size - 36B 1/2 and have lost over 30 lbs. in the past year, so I'm sure the fit still isn't quite right.  Still, the underwire on one that I purchased has always been kind of twisty.  I know I could have exchanged it, but it's been a busy year ad I just didn't.  I may give them another go when I'm finished losing, but I was told by a friend that I would be comfortable wearing a ThirdLove all day and night and that hasn't proved to be true for me.  Not yet, anyway!  I did return the first one I bought (wrong size) to them and that was no problem at all.  And I like that they give away the returns.  

I have had different luck with one style than the good luck with all other styles. My current favorite from them is the T-shirt bra--you may want to try that one? I would happily live without bras forever if it did not feel somewhat pornographic going out without one in some clothes. Plus, many clothes just do look better (or so I've been programmed by society to believe) so for me to testify about a bra is a pretty big deal.

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I’m spilling out DDD bras. Guess I’m bigger than that. What’s after DDD cup? I’m so jealous of small chested ladies. I can’t even find a good bra or sports bra. I’m huge. And the irony is that I was pretty flat chested until about 16 years old.

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7 minutes ago, galaxychaser said:

I’m spilling out DDD bras. Guess I’m bigger than that. What’s after DDD cup? I’m so jealous of small chested ladies. I can’t even find a good bra or sports bra. I’m huge. And the irony is that I was pretty flat chested until about 16 years old.

After DDD it goes from F-K depending on the brand.  It sounds like you need to find a shop with a fitter that is not a Victoria's Secret or somewhere that only sells the general manufacturers--Maidenform, Bali, Olga, Warner's etc.  A lot of them design for a 34B and then size up or down accordingly.  The drawback is that the bra is not truly designed for larger breasts.  This is when you get gapping, straps sliding down, and underwires busting out.  

I know that if you have a larger band size, Torrid or Lane Bryant make decent bras.  My 38D's are too small for them, but regular bras don't work.  

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I have a small band size (if they made a 30 or even a 28, that would fit me better than a 32) and DD's, though they are shrinking as I lose weight. I have always had terrible posture because I developed earlier than most of my friends and I had no idea what to do with them, so I slumped over to try to hide things. I had no idea boobs had so much power until later in life, lol!

I like a nice t-shirt bra that camouflages things a bit (I don't need the world knowing when I'm cold) and provides some nice lift. I actually don't mind wearing bras when they are comfortable and fit right, but in the summer when it's miserably hot I take it off the second I get home. 

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I finally broke out the tape measure to at least get a DIY idea of whether I am wearing the right size. According to the "never fail" chart I checked, I should be a 40D. Pretty much all my actual bras (aside from the standard cups in the XL shapewear I've been wearing) have been 42C for years. Even when I was 30 lb heavier I never tried on a D cup which didn't leave all sorts of gaps and extra space, and that includes some fairly high-end brands, so I really doubt that I need a D cup now. I really should so some underwear shopping one of these days, though...

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I am very happy I went to Nordstrom for a good fitting. 38G girl here (Lane Bryant measured me at 40DD) and I've never felt comfortable being bra less. I'm so used to them, I've never had shoulder soreness or anything. Even around the house I tend to wear one unless I'm already in pjs. When I go to family reunions and I'm sleeping in a room with non-immediate family, I'll even wear one under my pjs. I've always had big boobs and at my age the only way to have them be where they're supposed to be is good support. 

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I was home sick today so I went downstairs to hug G, my sister’s caregiver goodbye and thank her for all of the years (as I won’t likely see her before the last day Aug 30. ). There’s something in my eyes guys!!!

I told her to please not be a stranger, and she said when she was adjusted after her dialysis regime she wanted to come and get my sister for an outing (and of course borrow my Mom’s car). We told her that was fine and PLEASE take care of her health.  

sad cry GIF by Canticos World
 

Back to bras- my god sister is a 28F (she’s a tiny thing a size 4/6 before she had her baby) and she’s always had to special order. @realityfan26 I feel the same way you do- it’s not a modesty thing but a comfort thing. I didn’t grow up in a household with sighted men (my grandfather was blind by the time my sister was born) so my “at home” modesty standards are probably different than someone who grew up in a mixed gendered home but I feel so much more comfortable with some type of bra. I have non wired ones for sleeping/lounging, but i think I may have found a replacement for my favorite style!! See below. 

https://m.shop.nordstrom.com/s/freya-deco-aa4234-underwire-plunge-bra/3066205

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On 8/16/2019 at 11:00 PM, louannems said:

Marigold, I know you also enjoy watching Andrea Mills on her YouTube vlog.  Tom, her husband, did a short video update today. 

Evidently, Andrea is 13 weeks pregnant with #10, not feeling well and in pain, and went to get checked out.  She needed gallbladder surgery, during which the doctor saw an inflamed liver.  She was airlifted from Wyoming to Denver, Co.  They have found metastatic cancer in her liver and gallbladder but have not yet discovered the primary source.  She is waiting to have imaging scans.

They think Andrea had biliary duct cancer.  Even before testing confirmation, she died early this morning, leaving behind a husband and nine children.  Including a nursing one year old.  I have watched all of her prolific videos over the past few years and I am in shock that anyone can die of cancer so quickly.  She was yellow with jaundice and in terrible pain even medicated.

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18 minutes ago, louannems said:

They think Andrea had biliary duct cancer.  Even before testing confirmation, she died early this morning, leaving behind a husband and nine children.  Including a nursing one year old.  I have watched all of her prolific videos over the past few years and I am in shock that anyone can die of cancer so quickly.  She was yellow with jaundice and in terrible pain even medicated.

@louannems.  

I'm am shocked. Absolutely shocked.  She was 13 weeks pregnant too.  She was in the hospital for like a week and now she is gone?

It's so hard to process that you can be feeling fine and then die so quickly. My friend died from biliary duct cancer but she had about 6 months. 

Her husband posted a quick video announcing her passing and gave a quick camera pan of her in the bed...she was gone. 

Little shocking too that he did a 3 second flash of her in the bed, obviously deceased but I guess he knew her best and she loved her youtube channel so...Andrea was very "real" and death is part of life. I was just a little surprised. (Since this is a chat group, I'm just sharing my thoughts on that. No criticism intended)

They do have a large extended family but still....my God...a mother to 9....

It really rattled me. 

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5 minutes ago, Marigold said:

@louannems.  

I'm am shocked. Absolutely shocked.  She was 13 weeks pregnant too.  She was in the hospital for like a week and now she is gone?

It's so hard to process that you can be feeling fine and then die so quickly. My friend died from biliary duct cancer but she had about 6 months. 

Her husband posted a quick video announcing her passing and gave a quick camera pan of her in the bed...she was gone. 

Little shocking too that he did a 3 second flash of her in the bed, obviously deceased but I guess he knew her best and she loved her youtube channel so...Andrea was very "real" and death is part of life. I was just a little surprised. (Since this is a chat group, I'm just sharing my thoughts on that. No criticism intended)

They do have a large extended family but still....my God...a mother to 9....

It really rattled me. 

I think she just went to the Er on Friday.  And got airlifted to Colorado Saturday. And very late Sunday night they moved her back home, to a hospice house , where she died by morning with her children surrounding her.  It's is so tragic.

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1 hour ago, louannems said:

They think Andrea had biliary duct cancer.  Even before testing confirmation, she died early this morning, leaving behind a husband and nine children.  Including a nursing one year old.  I have watched all of her prolific videos over the past few years and I am in shock that anyone can die of cancer so quickly.  She was yellow with jaundice and in terrible pain even medicated.

My ex husband died of bile duct cancer in January. Less than a month from DX to death. 

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I don’t have a problem with slipping straps on a bra, I actually have dents across my shoulders where the straps fall.  Like ditches.  Exactly like the gap on your finger if you move a ring that sits there all the time.  

BUT, (there’s MORE!) I now own this little gizmo that the straps sit in on either side.  It’s rubbery plastic and supposedly your straps never will fall down again.  (Still not sure why I own it, but there you go).

so I went and got one to take a pic - and then the pic just cracked me UPPP and I had to post it. It makes me think of Marie Romano’s sculpture in art class.  (Anybody???).  

These are made of silicone and the very technical name is “Shoulder Cushions”.  Right???  You can probably get them all day long on Amazon for $5.

5D16C204-91D5-4C73-993F-6BD6A965A1F6.jpeg

Edited by Happyfatchick
To add pic and description
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4 hours ago, Happyfatchick said:

I don’t have a problem with slipping straps on a bra, I actually have dents across my shoulders where the straps fall.  Like ditches.  Exactly like the gap on your finger if you move a ring that sits there all the time.  

BUT, (there’s MORE!) I now own this little gizmo that the straps sit in on either side.  It’s rubbery plastic and supposedly your straps never will fall down again.  (Still not sure why I own it, but there you go).

so I went and got one to take a pic - and then the pic just cracked me UPPP and I had to post it. It makes me think of Marie Romano’s sculpture in art class.  (Anybody???).  

These are made of silicone and the very technical name is “Shoulder Cushions”.  Right???  You can probably get them all day long on Amazon for $5.

5D16C204-91D5-4C73-993F-6BD6A965A1F6.jpeg

Haha! I remember that episode. This gizmo doesn't look quite as organic, so I think we're OK. I could actually use something like that. Straps of any sort refuse to stay on my shoulders.

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2 hours ago, Jynnan tonnix said:

Haha! I remember that episode. This gizmo doesn't look quite as organic, so I think we're OK. I could actually use something like that. Straps of any sort refuse to stay on my shoulders.

Which is why I switched to racerback sports bras 15 years ago and never looked back.  I have a couple real bras for when I need to dress up, which is fairly rare.

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21 hours ago, jcbrown said:

I have had different luck with one style than the good luck with all other styles. My current favorite from them is the T-shirt bra--you may want to try that one? I would happily live without bras forever if it did not feel somewhat pornographic going out without one in some clothes. Plus, many clothes just do look better (or so I've been programmed by society to believe) so for me to testify about a bra is a pretty big deal.

I'll give it a try.  Thanks JCBROWN!

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16 hours ago, louannems said:

They think Andrea had biliary duct cancer.  Even before testing confirmation, she died early this morning, leaving behind a husband and nine children.  Including a nursing one year old.  I have watched all of her prolific videos over the past few years and I am in shock that anyone can die of cancer so quickly.  She was yellow with jaundice and in terrible pain even medicated.

I heard about this woman- another YouTuber I follow shared her information. Poor children having no mother. 

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20 minutes ago, Scarlett45 said:

I heard about this woman- another YouTuber I follow shared her information. Poor children having no mother. 

That’s how I heard about it too. That other YouTuber I follow is also pregnant with her 10th baby so it was especially hard for her. Very very sad, especially how quick it was.

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15 hours ago, Catfin said:

My ex husband died of bile duct cancer in January. Less than a month from DX to death. 

This is pretty typical of that kind of cancer.  It sounds like her cancer started in that area and spread to nearby structures like the liver and maybe the gallbladder. It often starts with very vague symptoms like nausea, lack of appetite, indigestion.  Considering she was also pregnant, I doubt she paid much attention at first, but it can grow rapidly and, once the tumor is large enough to block the bile ducts, liver failure can progress pretty rapidly.

Because of the fact that this is a rare cancer with vague symptoms that spreads rapidly, it has a poor prognosis overall.  It is usually not diagnosed until it has metastasized as it did here and is almost always inoperable.  Most inoperable biliary cancers are also incurable. Radiation therapy or chemo can sometimes slow it down a little and then, the only hope for a cure is to transplant the liver and the surrounding ducts.  Obviously, there is a huge risk for both morbidity and mortality with this approach and it shows just how difficult to cure this cancer is.

In other words, even if it had been found sooner, even if this woman agreed to chemo and radiation; she was probably going to die from her cancer sooner than later.

I knew someone diagnosed with this a couple years ago.  He survived 9 days from diagnosis.  He declined treatment as the oncologists rightfully explained that chemo might work, and, if it did, he might get around 2 months longer.  He gave a prognosis of 2 weeks if untreated and he just about nailed it.

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My Step-Father (a kind, generous and loving man) died from this kind of cancer too. He died 10 days after diagnosis. He was moaning in pain and the Dr refused to give him a morphine drip. I think that I figured out why, but it might sound bad if I articulate the reason. I called the head of the hospital (my parents donated a Cancer wing) and within a half hour he was given some pain relief. 

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1 hour ago, Mindthinkr said:

My Step-Father (a kind, generous and loving man) died from this kind of cancer too. He died 10 days after diagnosis. He was moaning in pain and the Dr refused to give him a morphine drip. I think that I figured out why, but it might sound bad if I articulate the reason. I called the head of the hospital (my parents donated a Cancer wing) and within a half hour he was given some pain relief. 

I read on Free Jinger that Andrea miscarried her 13 week fetus and they were unable to do a D&C to remove remaining placental tissue because her health was so poor and anesthesia would've been dangerous.  At that point, she and her husband had a talk with the oncologist who told them she was beyond treatment and it would be a matter of days.  Andrea understandably chose to go home where she died.

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Well, crap. My sister just called me and told me her youngest daughter daughter just died. She was just diagnosed last year with front temporal dementia (I think) and rapidly declined. She was only 48 years old. SHIT.

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3 hours ago, ChiCricket said:

Well, crap. My sister just called me and told me her youngest daughter daughter just died. She was just diagnosed last year with front temporal dementia (I think) and rapidly declined. She was only 48 years old. SHIT.

Oh dear that is dreadful! So sorry!!

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10 hours ago, ChiCricket said:

Well, crap. My sister just called me and told me her youngest daughter daughter just died. She was just diagnosed last year with front temporal dementia (I think) and rapidly declined. She was only 48 years old. SHIT.

I am so sorry sending you and your family gentle hugs, and honestly SHIT does not cover it. We need better cuss words.

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11 hours ago, ChiCricket said:

Well, crap. My sister just called me and told me her youngest daughter daughter just died. She was just diagnosed last year with front temporal dementia (I think) and rapidly declined. She was only 48 years old. SHIT.

I’m so very sorry. These early onset dementias are so cruel. *hugs*

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11 hours ago, ChiCricket said:

Well, crap. My sister just called me and told me her youngest daughter daughter just died. She was just diagnosed last year with front temporal dementia (I think) and rapidly declined. She was only 48 years old. SHIT.

My deepest condolences. 

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Just one day's harvest of tomatoes (plus a few cucumbers that got in the way). Forty-some-odd plum tomatoes, fifty mixed variety red and yellow eating tomatoes (though I just found an awesome recipe to make sauce out of those as well!), and a couple of hundred red and yellow types of cherry tomatoes! And the tomato season is really only just starting to get into the swing of it!

69304375_10157317340197778_8921556056375558144_n.jpg

Edited by Jynnan tonnix
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39 minutes ago, Jynnan tonnix said:

Just one day's harvest of tomatoes (plus a few cucumbers that got in the way). Forty-some-odd plum tomatoes, fifty mixed variety red and yellow eating tomatoes (though I just found an awesome recipe to make sauce out of those as well!), and a couple of hundred red and yellow types of cherry tomatoes! And the tomato season is really only just starting to get into the swing of it!

Those are gorgeous!  I'm having garden envy😊

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Just WOW @Jynnan tonnixVery impressive. I'm not a big tomato eater but I do love a good homemade salsa. Do you make salsa & if you do, will you share your recipe? 

I meant to comment on your previous garden pictures especially the sunflowers.  My home nurse was telling me about her sunflowers about a week before you posted your picture. She let her 7 year old granddaughter (who is the apple of her eye) plant hers with free reign so she has sunflowers growing at different spots all over her yard.  They had to mark the seedlings so they wouldn't be mowed over or pulled up as weeds. She also told me one year her mom planted sunflowers right along the edge of the driveway & they grew so tall it felt light being in a jungle trying maneuver getting out of the car.  I think they only lasted part of the season as her father had to cut them back to make the driveway more accessible. My next door neighbor planted them one year when our kids were young & they were the hit of the neighborhood.  Such a fun plant. I'm going to make myself a note on the calendar to plant them next year.  (I'll have to forfeit one of our Post-it notes from me & Mr. Barb's game nite collection. Don't tell Jill.)

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1 hour ago, Jynnan tonnix said:

Just one day's harvest of tomatoes (plus a few cucumbers that got in the way). Forty-some-odd plum tomatoes, fifty mixed variety red and yellow eating tomatoes (though I just found an awesome recipe to make sauce out of those as well!), and a couple of hundred red and yellow types of cherry tomatoes! And the tomato season is really only just starting to get into the swing of it!

69304375_10157317340197778_8921556056375558144_n.jpg

Beautiful bounty!

I envied your sunflowers, too.  I tried to grow sunflowers this summer and I've got too many trees to let anything get enough direct sun.  I love my trees, but get frustrated growing flowers.

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@Jynnan tonnix - I keep meaning to ask you- how is that darling granddaughter of yours & how old is she now? I don't  mean to play favorites but I will never forget the newborn picture you posted of her with her big eyes.

@Happyfatchick, IIRC  you have the granddaughter that let's nothing grow under her feet, is very outspoken & will one day probably hold an office like President of the US.  Am I remembering correctly?  If so, any new stories? 

Like I said before, I am not lucky enough to be a grandma yet (not even close) so I have to live vicariously through others.   I would love to see pictures of any of the grands out there, big or little. I'm sure I'm not the only one. Thank you in advance.

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31 minutes ago, Barb23 said:

Just WOW @Jynnan tonnixVery impressive. I'm not a big tomato eater but I do love a good homemade salsa. Do you make salsa & if you do, will you share your recipe? 

I meant to comment on your previous garden pictures especially the sunflowers.  My home nurse was telling me about her sunflowers about a week before you posted your picture. She let her 7 year old granddaughter (who is the apple of her eye) plant hers with free reign so she has sunflowers growing at different spots all over her yard.  They had to mark the seedlings so they wouldn't be mowed over or pulled up as weeds. She also told me one year her mom planted sunflowers right along the edge of the driveway & they grew so tall it felt light being in a jungle trying maneuver getting out of the car.  I think they only lasted part of the season as her father had to cut them back to make the driveway more accessible. My next door neighbor planted them one year when our kids were young & they were the hit of the neighborhood.  Such a fun plant. I'm going to make myself a note on the calendar to plant them next year.  (I'll have to forfeit one of our Post-it notes from me & Mr. Barb's game nite collection. Don't tell Jill.)

Here in Northeast Ohio, we've got Maria's Field of Hope.  A family who lost their little girl to a brain tumor planted sunflowers in a vacant field next to the freeway west of Cleveland to commemorate her and to promote a charity they founded in her name.  Every year, it gets bigger and they sell licenses to professional photographers to use the field as a background.  Many senior pictures are taken there.  They've now expanded to Cedar Point, the amusement park, and have a huge sunflower field there, too.

Maria's field of hope.jpg

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2 hours ago, Jynnan tonnix said:

Just one day's harvest of tomatoes (plus a few cucumbers that got in the way). Forty-some-odd plum tomatoes, fifty mixed variety red and yellow eating tomatoes (though I just found an awesome recipe to make sauce out of those as well!), and a couple of hundred red and yellow types of cherry tomatoes! And the tomato season is really only just starting to get into the swing of it!

69304375_10157317340197778_8921556056375558144_n.jpg

Yowza! How many plants is that? I was feeling overwhelmed by tomatoes when my organic produce delivery contained 15. I can't imagine dealing with so many.
We had a big garden when I was a kid and my dad managed the trailer park we lived adjacent to. I remember my sister and I filling up our red wagon with tomatoes and taking them door-to-door through the trailer park selling them for 10 cents each. Who's going to say no to the manager's little girls? Worked for Girl Scout cookies, too.

15 minutes ago, doodlebug said:

Here in Northeast Ohio, we've got Maria's Field of Hope.  A family who lost their little girl to a brain tumor planted sunflowers in a vacant field next to the freeway west of Cleveland to commemorate her and to promote a charity they founded in her name.  Every year, it gets bigger and they sell licenses to professional photographers to use the field as a background.  Many senior pictures are taken there.  They've now expanded to Cedar Point, the amusement park, and have a huge sunflower field there, too.

Maria's field of hope.jpg

There must be a lot of very happy cardinals in the area. We had sunflowers in our garden when I was a kid and I remember the birds loving them.

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@ChiCricket, I am so so sorry.  Dementia (and cancer) need to be banned from the universe.  Dementia is such a THIEF.  Horrible, awful thing and I hate it so much, it brings tears to me eyes every time I know someone else has been touched by it.  

Those sunflowers make me so happy!

@Barb23, thank you so much for asking about my granddaughter (who is the BOSS of the south, you pegged her).  She is 3 and just began ballet/tap lessons.  Also is in preschool 3 days a week.  Ballet is ABSOLUTELY without apology and without reservation for grandmothers.  I get in my car and drive to class every week, just to soak up that cuteness.  (Not just her, either, I ❤️ All of them!)

She was a flower girl in a wedding 2 weeks ago - the pic I drew the heart on is when they were arriving to the rehearsal dinner. 

its @Barb23‘s fault.

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