Small Talk: The Prayer Closet

[Marigold]

@Sew Sumi  That is the worst timing right before classes start. Writing is an area that many college students need so much help.  Big mistake of the school. 

[Sew Sumi]

3 hours ago, Marigold said:

@Sew Sumi  That is the worst timing right before classes start. Writing is an area that many college students need so much help.  Big mistake of the school. 

There will still be tutors, just fellow students, many of whom take full loads themselves. 

I agree that it is to the school's detriment to fire qualified college graduates. It's not a financial thing;all tutors made the same wage. 

Go figure.

[Christina87]

5 hours ago, Barb23 said:

Congratulations @Christina87 !!  Sounds like this job was worth waiting for & is the perfect one for you.  Is it near where you live? 

On a side note, isn't it a shame none (or barely any) of the Duggarlings* will ever feel the sense of accomplishment a person gets when they get hired for a job?  (I'm talking about a real world 40+hours/week outside of the Duggar Empire job.) Especially nowadays when you realize how many applicants apply for a position & you were the one they chose! What a high.

* Besides Josh for a short time in DC & possibly  JD, I don't think any of the Duggar kids has held a real job in the outside world.  (I'm talking about the Duggar kids, not the spouses who have all worked or are still working for someone that isn't named Duggar.) 

ETA, @allonsyalice, Thanks for the explanation. 

I was thinking the same thing!!! It really is the best high ever! I have been getting my ducks in a row today, for my onboarding meeting Thursday. A lot of it is paperwork and videos we have to watch, and then TB test and physical. I just got the TB test, and it's not too bad. But I am terrified of going back Thursday, because I will need a tetanus shot! I remember getting one before college, and the shot hurt sooooo badly! I'm trying so hard to hope that it won't be as bad this time, or that my memory is over exaggerated. Have any of you had one recently?

@Scarlett45 no lie, that sounds like a pretty entertaining Starbucks visit! I would have stayed and listened too lol. Very interesting free entertainment for the day!

ETA: it is a wonderful commute! It's about 15-20 minutes. I'm soooooooo relieved I didn't have to take a job that would have been a terrible commute, or necessitate moving. I love where I am, and I'm excited to be able to contribute to the bills!

Edited August 6, 2019 by Christina87

[Mindthinkr]

2 hours ago, Christina87 said:

I'm trying so hard to hope that it won't be as bad this time, or that my memory is over exaggerated. Have any of you had one recently?

If you are right handed ask to get it in your left arm. It may still ache, but since that wouldn’t be using your dominant hand,  your arm won’t hurt as much. Relax as much as you can. I sympathize because I hate injections as well. 😕 Remember it’s a small price to pay for a dream job. Best wishes on your fresh start. They will be lucky to have you. 

[Marigold]

I want to let everyone know that I bought a new house plant. An ivy plant.

Yes, I did it.

I named the plant Ivy Jane. 🤣

[Westiepeach]

14 minutes ago, Marigold said:

I want to let everyone know that I bought a new house plant. An ivy plant.

Yes, I did it.

I named the plant Ivy Jane. 🤣

You are my new favorite person in the world. 

[Ohiopirate02]

2 hours ago, Christina87 said:

I was thinking the same thing!!! It really is the best high ever! I have been getting my ducks in a row today, for my onboarding meeting Thursday. A lot of it is paperwork and videos we have to watch, and then TB test and physical. I just got the TB test, and it's not too bad. But I am terrified of going back Thursday, because I will need a tetanus shot! I remember getting one before college, and the shot hurt sooooo badly! I'm trying so hard to hope that it won't be as bad this time, or that my memory is over exaggerated. Have any of you had one recently?

@Scarlett45 no lie, that sounds like a pretty entertaining Starbucks visit! I would have stayed and listened too lol. Very interesting free entertainment for the day!

ETA: it is a wonderful commute! It's about 15-20 minutes. I'm soooooooo relieved I didn't have to take a job that would have been a terrible commute, or necessitate moving. I love where I am, and I'm excited to be able to contribute to the bills!

I got the TDAP shot before my neice was born and it did not hurt as much as the regular tetanus shot I had back in my 20s.  I remember that one hurting.   Personally,  I sleep on my left arm so I get my shots in my right even though I'm right handed.  

[Zella]

I'm a natural lefty and do most things left-handed, but I write right-handed, so I'm screwed with either arm. LOL 

Edited August 6, 2019 by Zella

[Barb23]

Re:  the tetanus shot.

When I worked in a pediatrician's office, one of my coworkers used to tell the older kids & teenagers who got a tetanus shot they needed to keep their arm moving to help the pain. The best way to do that was was wash the dishes.   The parents, esp the moms, loved her suggestion.  

[Nysha]

4 hours ago, Sew Sumi said:

I agree that it is to the school's detriment to fire qualified college graduates. It's not a financial thing;all tutors made the same wage. 

It may be financial in that they're only hiring students with work-study money. That's $1,000 per semester per tutor that the college doesn't have to cough up. 

[Sew Sumi]

You know, in all my years there, I never knew if the kids were work-study. I never asked, and they never brought it up. 

[Kbo]

7 hours ago, Christina87 said:

I was thinking the same thing!!! It really is the best high ever! I have been getting my ducks in a row today, for my onboarding meeting Thursday. A lot of it is paperwork and videos we have to watch, and then TB test and physical. I just got the TB test, and it's not too bad. But I am terrified of going back Thursday, because I will need a tetanus shot! I remember getting one before college, and the shot hurt sooooo badly! I'm trying so hard to hope that it won't be as bad this time, or that my memory is over exaggerated. Have any of you had one recently?

@Scarlett45 no lie, that sounds like a pretty entertaining Starbucks visit! I would have stayed and listened too lol. Very interesting free entertainment for the day!

ETA: it is a wonderful commute! It's about 15-20 minutes. I'm soooooooo relieved I didn't have to take a job that would have been a terrible commute, or necessitate moving. I love where I am, and I'm excited to be able to contribute to the bills!

I had a tetanus shot a few months ago ahead of a work trip to India. It really wasn’t that bad—it stung for a bit and the arm was sore for about a week.  Not fun, but not worth dreading either. Congrats on the new job!

[Love2dance]

@Christina87, you were given good advice by @Barb23. After the shot, keep wiggling the arm around, lift it up and down and around, for several hours. It will help. Also, take Tylenol about an hour before the shot, if you want. I had the innoculation recently and it really isn’t that bad. Good luck!

[Bayarea4]

6 hours ago, Zella said:

I'm a natural lefty and do most things left-handed, but I write right-handed, so I'm screwed with either arm. LOL 

That's funny. I'm a natural lefty who does a lot of things right-handed. I can even write right-handed (badly), but prefer my left hand. Can you read backwards and upside down? I find that easy, and I always thought it was somehow connected with being left-handed.

[Jeeves]

Okay. I'm not posting this over in the Jill and Derick topic - although it's generally about them - because our discussions there tend to veer off-topic at 60 MPH and we're gabbing about our personal food allergies and napping patterns. Nothing wrong with it, but yeah it's off topic. 

Among my bad habits: reading the daily advice columns. Today there was a letter that IMO could have been written by Jilly Muffin. The Letter Writer said:

Quote

My husband worked really late the other day. I called him throughout the day to make sure he was OK and to share a cheerful word or two. When he finally got home, I called out to say hello. He didn’t say anything, went into the back of the house and disappeared for hours. I know he was exhausted, but the least he could have done was to have said hello to me before holing up. I don’t want to make a big deal of it, but it hurt my feelings. I don’t know when the right time would be to bring it up. He is completely stressed by work. I don’t want to add to that, but I do want him to be kind to me. How can I get him to think of me? 

Oh man, does that ever scream Stage IV Clinger. IMO the advice the columnist gave the spouse was bad, as in "You're calling your husband all day long and he doesn't want to talk to you that much. So, talk to him." **eyerolls**

The comments - the main reason I read those columns - are trending very much against the clingy annoying spouse and the advice that the columnist gave her/him. Along the lines of "WTF are you doing calling someone throughout the day when they're trying to WORK." "back off, FFS," and "quit annoying him all day long when he's working, and he might want to talk to you at home." 

And since this is small talk and I've confessed my bad habit: I've noticed lately that people are writing to Miss Manners, whose column is about etiquette and manners, about serious life sh*t, like abusive relationships. Very odd to see a letter like that among the "how do I get my guests to not "help" me in the kitchen at my dinner parties" stuff. Some days I love Miss Manners and her "gentle reader" third-person stuff, other days IMO it just misfires. 

This week I've already spent all my money at the vet (unexpected - dog fell out of bed the other night and must have caught a toe on the rt rear paw on the bedframe on the way down, it's not broken but seriously swollen, and at first he was having so much trouble even standing I feared he'd broken his back!), and at the dentist (scheduled - old crown had to be replaced). So, reading free online columns about other people's problems and walking around the parks are about my limit of entertainment for the moment. 🤣 

Good luck with the immunization and the new job (!!), @Christina87!!

[Marigold]

That is totally Jill. 

[Christina87]

LOL as I was reading these comments, I immediately went upstairs and put in a load of laundry. I usually take whatever is dirty when I go to my parents' and wash it there (I wash theirs too, and then wear what I have washed while at their house. It works out great, because I don't have to pack clean clothes; just wash what's dirty!). I'm going there tomorrow to go to the doctor. However, I stood up halfway through the comments and went straight upstairs to wash clothes. LOL I don't want to be doing tons of laundry with a sore arm! Plus my mom and I are going shopping Friday. 🤦🏼‍♀️ Ahhhhh so scary! I suppose it's not the worst possible thing that could happen, though. I'm just going to try to remember it's still not as bad as a migraine. 

[CalicoKitty]

I've never found a tetanus shot to be any big deal.  Just give me the shot, and I'll go on with my business.  I certainly never had it interfere with anything I was doing.  I don't remember even having much pain at all.  Now, pain from the reason I had the tetanus shot, maybe, but even routine boosters have not caused me a second thought.

[galaxychaser]

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.nytimes.com/2019/08/07/nyregion/shootings-panic-anxiety.amp.html

I don’t feel safe anywhere anymore.

[Love2dance]

2 hours ago, Christina87 said:

LOL I don't want to be doing tons of laundry with a sore arm! Plus my mom and I are going shopping Friday. 🤦🏼‍♀️ Ahhhhh so scary! I suppose it's not the worst possible thing that could happen, though. I'm just going to try to remember it's still not as bad as a migraine. 

I’m sorry that you are stressing over the inoculation. As a former teacher, I would be panicking over all the new job challenges: new curriculum and upcoming lesson and discipline plans, etc. I’m very impressed with your confidence and fabulous attitude about the new school. I promise you, the shot will be no big deal!

[Natalie68]

2 hours ago, Christina87 said:

LOL as I was reading these comments, I immediately went upstairs and put in a load of laundry. I usually take whatever is dirty when I go to my parents' and wash it there (I wash theirs too, and then wear what I have washed while at their house. It works out great, because I don't have to pack clean clothes; just wash what's dirty!). I'm going there tomorrow to go to the doctor. However, I stood up halfway through the comments and went straight upstairs to wash clothes. LOL I don't want to be doing tons of laundry with a sore arm! Plus my mom and I are going shopping Friday. 🤦🏼‍♀️ Ahhhhh so scary! I suppose it's not the worst possible thing that could happen, though. I'm just going to try to remember it's still not as bad as a migraine. 

Like a few of the others I don't find the tetanus shot to be too bad.  I had one in May and my arm was a bit sore the next day but really not bad.  I worked and carried on like nothing happened.  

[Absolom]

The last one I had the nurse said take ibuprofen about an hour before it and drive straight home afterward and massage it and ice it.  Keep taking ibuprofen as needed.  I did run a slight fever the evening after it, but then it was only slightly sore for a couple of days.  The ice seemed to help quite a bit along with the massage and keep using the arm.  

[jcbrown]

Okay, this is kind of a random needy question but we're a smart compassionate group here and I thought there might be ideas I could borrow. My dad's brother is leaving the hospital after a 2.5-month stint in hospitals and rehabs with metastatic prostate cancer that has recurred at least twice and is not responding to treatment. My uncle is 80. My dad is in a memory care facility with dementia and incontinence that requires someone to empty his catheter bag for him several times a day and needs help showering and with other activities of daily living. Also, he hallucinates and gets confused sometimes. He is determined to go visit his brother one last time (brother lives in Tennessee, Dad lives in Indiana) with his two other surviving brothers (ages 80 and ~86). I am trying to figure out how to make this possible. Money is not a problem, my husband and I can subsidize, but I am worried about safety and support for Dad's daily needs on a road trip. Does anyone have any relevant experience or advice here? Are there services that could provide trained people who would accompany Dad on this trip to help him ( I assume we would need at least two if not three)? He had caregivers that came into his house 24/7 before we moved him to the facility where he now lives but I don't think they offer any such services. At the very least, we have to make sure Dad's other brothers he would be travelling with are aware of what they are getting into. Advice or just warm fuzzy feelings appreciated.

[galaxychaser]

https://people.com/politics/green-shirt-guy-laughs-trump-supporters-protesting-immigration/

@jcbrown I hope your dad gets to see his brothers. 

[Ohiopirate02]

49 minutes ago, jcbrown said:

Okay, this is kind of a random needy question but we're a smart compassionate group here and I thought there might be ideas I could borrow. My dad's brother is leaving the hospital after a 2.5-month stint in hospitals and rehabs with metastatic prostate cancer that has recurred at least twice and is not responding to treatment. My uncle is 80. My dad is in a memory care facility with dementia and incontinence that requires someone to empty his catheter bag for him several times a day and needs help showering and with other activities of daily living. Also, he hallucinates and gets confused sometimes. He is determined to go visit his brother one last time (brother lives in Tennessee, Dad lives in Indiana) with his two other surviving brothers (ages 80 and ~86). I am trying to figure out how to make this possible. Money is not a problem, my husband and I can subsidize, but I am worried about safety and support for Dad's daily needs on a road trip. Does anyone have any relevant experience or advice here? Are there services that could provide trained people who would accompany Dad on this trip to help him ( I assume we would need at least two if not three)? He had caregivers that came into his house 24/7 before we moved him to the facility where he now lives but I don't think they offer any such services. At the very least, we have to make sure Dad's other brothers he would be travelling with are aware of what they are getting into. Advice or just warm fuzzy feelings appreciated.

I will be honest,  I traveled with my grandmother to my cousins wedding and it did not go well.  She had dementia at the time and did not do well being in a different environment.   She would freak out every morning when she woke up in the hotel room and getting her to bed was not easy.  You and your dad will need a support group if you decide to travel.  The caretakers will need breaks because travelling will be both physically and emotionally exhausting. I don't know if any service organizations that would help in this.  Is it possible for your dad to Skype or facetime with his brother instead?  

[frenchtoast]

6 hours ago, galaxychaser said:

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.nytimes.com/2019/08/07/nyregion/shootings-panic-anxiety.amp.html

I don’t feel safe anywhere anymore.

I was there last night. At the stage door of the Lyceum waiting for the cast to come out when a huge crowd started fleeing up 45th street. All I heard was "Fire" which I couldn't see a fire. My husband heard people say Shots Fired. We did not run with the crowd even though many of the group. We waited because we did not see or hear a threat. The stage door was canceled and we went back to our hotel. 

My daughter (like her parents) loves musical theater and Be More Chill is closing. As a special treat, we took her to see it yesterday. Using points, we were able to stay at a hotel. Both my husband and I grew up in one of the bedroom communities in Orange County, so we've been to Broadway shows before. (I went to see Kiss of the Spiderwoman for my prom. Same price, waaaay better time)  She was a little freaked out, but handled it well. Despite the crowd, we remained relatively calm and we still had a great trip.

[jcbrown]

41 minutes ago, Ohiopirate02 said:

I will be honest,  I traveled with my grandmother to my cousins wedding and it did not go well.  She had dementia at the time and did not do well being in a different environment.   She would freak out every morning when she woke up in the hotel room and getting her to bed was not easy.  You and your dad will need a support group if you decide to travel.  The caretakers will need breaks because travelling will be both physically and emotionally exhausting. I don't know if any service organizations that would help in this.  Is it possible for your dad to Skype or facetime with his brother instead?  

I can certainly look into Skype and Facetime but every time we visit Dad (we live in California) we have to support the latest technological things he has broken (or just forgotten how to use). I maybe will talk to my sister about whether either of these could work--she would have to be there in person to support it, I think. He is really set on visiting, which I get, and he does not appreciate how hard it will be for his potential caregivers, which I also get. Ugh.

I appreciate your perspective, though. Thank you.

[Christina87]

6 hours ago, Love2dance said:

I’m sorry that you are stressing over the inoculation. As a former teacher, I would be panicking over all the new job challenges: new curriculum and upcoming lesson and discipline plans, etc. I’m very impressed with your confidence and fabulous attitude about the new school. I promise you, the shot will be no big deal!

Hahahaha I am stressing over that too, but the shot is more immediate. 😜😜😜

[Zella]

22 hours ago, Bayarea4 said:

That's funny. I'm a natural lefty who does a lot of things right-handed. I can even write right-handed (badly), but prefer my left hand. Can you read backwards and upside down? I find that easy, and I always thought it was somehow connected with being left-handed.

Yes, I can read backwards and upside down easily! I also do mirror writing pretty easily. 🙂 I don't know if there is a connection with left-handedness or not, but I have read about mirror writing supposedly being a bit easier for many lefties.

I can technically write with both hands, but it is far too slow for me to do it left-handed. My penmanship with my right hand is absolutely atrocious. However, I actually hold a pen correctly left-handed. I do the whole lefty crab claw thing while writing right-handed. LOL 

[Absolom]

3 hours ago, jcbrown said:

My dad's brother is leaving the hospital after a 2.5-month stint in hospitals and rehabs with metastatic prostate cancer that has recurred at least twice and is not responding to treatment. My uncle is 80. My dad is in a memory care facility with dementia and incontinence that requires someone to empty his catheter bag for him several times a day and needs help showering and with other activities of daily living. Also, he hallucinates and gets confused sometimes. He is determined to go visit his brother one last time (brother lives in Tennessee, Dad lives in Indiana) with his two other surviving brothers (ages 80 and ~86).

I'm on my third and last parent with dementia.  You have to admire his wish, but that doesn't mean you go to super heroic measures to fulfill it.  Part of dementia is losing the ability to rationally view things.  He probably cannot comprehend what he's asking others to do.  I moved my mother 2500 miles when she was late stage 4/early stage 5.  I wouldn't have done it if it hadn't been absolutely necessary.  We had three adults to one dementia patient and her dog.  It took all three of us and we were frazzled at the end of the trip.  I had to medicate her just for us to survive.  The doctor at each end of the trip recommended and prescribed the medication.  My opinion is if it isn't essential don't even consider it.  Every morning and evening traveling is a night mare to them.  Waking up in the night in a strange place is terrifying.  They don't want to be trouble to people, but they have to be.  Just a for instance my mom woke up in the night and was lost and scared and urinated right there in the motel room floor even though I was in the next bed and would have helped her.  I just woke up a bit too late.  I was glad we'd paid a pet deposit for the dog and pretended he'd done it.  She had hysterics in Texas because she was sure the dog was dead.  Those are just two highlights.  I know of services that transport people who require medical assistance for a permanent move, but that runs $15K and up just one way.  I took my mother on a few weekend trips to relatives (2 to 4 hour drives) and even that was too much by the time she needed memory care.  We only tried one trip after her move to memory care.  She tried to run off twice and it was far too overstimulating for her.  I'm afraid it would be too hard and too dangerous at least from my experience.  

[Zella]

I don't have the firsthand caretaker experience of a lot of folks here, but I have seen dementia patients at the nursing home where I helped with a library program become extremely disoriented and distraught because they were moved to a different room in the facility. I can't even imagine how much that would be amplified with a lengthy trip, let alone the logistics of being a caretaker on such a trip. 

[Zella]

Oh don't know if any of you remember that crime spree I was following in Canada--the 2 teens accused of murdering 3 people. The Mounties are now pretty sure they've found their bodies in the woods, a few miles from their last car they burned. Autopsies pending, but most of the speculation I am seeing is they either committed suicide or succumbed to the elements. 

I haven't been able to sleep for weeks because this case bothered me so much--I kept having dreams about it. I had hoped they'd be arrested and brought to trial, but now the lack of ever knowing why bothers me just as much as the murders. True crime is one of my great loves, but things like this make me second-guess why. 

Anyway, figured since I brought it up several days ago, might as well add the final update. 

Edited August 8, 2019 by Zella

[galaxychaser]

Chynna, British and Stetson are the siblings. Interesting names.

Edited August 8, 2019 by galaxychaser

[ginger90]

9 hours ago, jcbrown said:

Okay, this is kind of a random needy question but we're a smart compassionate group here and I thought there might be ideas I could borrow. My dad's brother is leaving the hospital after a 2.5-month stint in hospitals and rehabs with metastatic prostate cancer that has recurred at least twice and is not responding to treatment. My uncle is 80. My dad is in a memory care facility with dementia and incontinence that requires someone to empty his catheter bag for him several times a day and needs help showering and with other activities of daily living. Also, he hallucinates and gets confused sometimes. He is determined to go visit his brother one last time (brother lives in Tennessee, Dad lives in Indiana) with his two other surviving brothers (ages 80 and ~86). I am trying to figure out how to make this possible. Money is not a problem, my husband and I can subsidize, but I am worried about safety and support for Dad's daily needs on a road trip. Does anyone have any relevant experience or advice here? Are there services that could provide trained people who would accompany Dad on this trip to help him ( I assume we would need at least two if not three)? He had caregivers that came into his house 24/7 before we moved him to the facility where he now lives but I don't think they offer any such services. At the very least, we have to make sure Dad's other brothers he would be travelling with are aware of what they are getting into. Advice or just warm fuzzy feelings appreciated.

Unless you hire privately, I’m not aware of any agencies that would provide a caregiver for an out of state trip like this. Where I am, out of county excursions are not even the norm for a day. 

A social worker where your father resides may be of help. The only thing I can think of is an agency providing someone once he is in Tennessee. The person they would provide would be a stranger to everyone, and would have basically no understanding of your father’s needs beyond a care plan.

I think it’s wonderful you want to make his wish a priority, but it’s a difficult one. Transitioning, diet, meds, comfort items, his perception during, and after the visit are things to consider.

I think Skype is a good suggestion.

Sorry about your uncle. What a tough situation all around.

Edited August 8, 2019 by ginger90

[Jeeves]

@Absolom, thanks for sharing that.

@jcbrown, I admire your desire to fulfill your dad's wish. I haven't had the role of caregiver for a dementia patient. But, I had up close and personal experience over a long stretch of years, when my late aunt had Parkinson's and developed Parkinson's related dementia, and my late uncle and cousin (their daughter) cared for her until finally she needed to be in a nursing home. (We live in the same town and are close.)

A couple of years before the nursing home, my cousin and her husband drove her parents to an out of state family wedding. I didn't travel with them but also went to the wedding. My aunt was somewhat mobile, not incontinent/catherized, generally lucid to talk to but definitely affected by dementia, and there were three able-bodied adults to care for her on that trip.

And - it was a nightmare. Shortly after they arrived my cousin said privately to me, "this is the last time (to take her mom on a trip)."

I hope you can find some reasonable solution for your dad's situation. It sounds generally impossible for him to make the trip, in terms of the sheer cost of competent help assuming you could find it, as well as the impact on his own health and well-being. 

Just my two cents. Whatever happens, don't beat yourself up. I think you're doing your best in a terrible situation. 

Edited August 8, 2019 by Jeeves
Brevity is good

[Scarlett45]

@jcbrown much love and hugs to you. I’ve been there caring for a loved one with dementia and it is not an easy road. 

I echo what others say here regarding the difficulty of your Dad taking the trip to see his brother. Of course you can hire a caregiver/nurse and pay them to take the trip, but that is expensive- and you would need at least one other caregiver to give them a break and support the two other brothers (who may be fine on their own, but not capable of assisting the caregiver if things go sideways). 

Youre a wonderful daughter and niece to want to facilitate this trip, but it may be more trouble than it’s worth especially if the change in scenery depresses your Dad, or he’s unable to enjoy any time with his brother because he’s delusional at that moment. 

[Mindthinkr]

@jcbrown My heart goes out to you in this situation, but sadly there many factors that you’ll have to have in place to make this happen. So many that you will have to be prepared for almost anything to happen. I won’t go into the horror stories from my nursing career. I took care of my Mother who had Alzheimer’s. Even with all my training, patience and love it was difficult at times, because she just could not be reasoned with. How caring of you to want to facilitate this for them. I echo the suggestions for you to try SKYPE or FaceTime. Which ever road you travel I hope it is a safe one. 

[jcbrown]

Thank you everyone. I think one of the things I may have been looking for was a reality check to try to temper my instinct to help Dad achieve this trip and I appreciate all the kind perspectives providing just that. This is my second parent with dementia. It sucks. He doesn't have any idea what a huge impact travelling with him would have on others--his disease prevents him from knowing. When we visited him last, I saw him completely shut down because we were in a restaurant that was too loud. I was literally afraid he was going to slump to the floor. It was terrifying. An out-of-state trip would likely prove absolutely overwhelming for him and his brothers are ill-prepared to be able to handle that or to know what they would be getting into. His girlfriend (! that still surprises me) told him she would do what she could. She is a caregiver by profession but does not have any formal training and even she has not ever been with my dad 24/7. I think I will reach out to the social worker at his care facility to seek her advice. Thanks again. You guys don't disappoint. How odd it might seem that one of the first things I thought when I hung up from my sobbing dad was that I needed to reach out here. <hugs>

[Scarlett45]

@jcbrown Finding trust worthy compassionate caregivers is a difficult thing (I’m in the thick of finding a new one for my sister), but even those with the biggest heart for this kind of work are only human.

Also what the client might WANT not necessarily what’s good for them or safe for others in the situation. It’s very hard when your parent, who loved, raised and guided you is no longer able to make decisions for themselves. My grandfather suffered from dementia- losing him bit by bit broke my Mom’s heart in a bigger way than my sister ever did. Caring for both of them at home is a part of life I don’t want to repeat- my Mom just wants to go in her sleep with all of her mental facilitates so she won’t put me through that again. 

Down inside your Dad KNOWS how much you love him, and how much his brother loves him even if he doesn’t get to take the trip. Whatever you decide you’ve done a great job. 

[galaxychaser]

Anton Yelchin was a favorite actor of mine. I am seriously tearing up.

https://people.com/movies/anton-yelchins-parents-open-up-about-losing-son/

[Scarlett45]

32 minutes ago, galaxychaser said:

Anton Yelchin was a favorite actor of mine. I am seriously tearing up.

https://people.com/movies/anton-yelchins-parents-open-up-about-losing-son/

That was so tragic. His poor parents. 

[Jynnan tonnix]

15 hours ago, Zella said:

Yes, I can read backwards and upside down easily! I also do mirror writing pretty easily. 🙂 I don't know if there is a connection with left-handedness or not, but I have read about mirror writing supposedly being a bit easier for many lefties.

I can technically write with both hands, but it is far too slow for me to do it left-handed. My penmanship with my right hand is absolutely atrocious. However, I actually hold a pen correctly left-handed. I do the whole lefty crab claw thing while writing right-handed. LOL 

I'm right handed, but have always felt an affinity for lefties and wished I could be one. My dad was a natural leftie who had it beaten out of him at a young age  back in the 30's/40's, and I was always sad that I didn't inherit the tendency.

On the other hand, I've always read backwards and upside down barely even having to think twice about it, and can write in mirror-writing pretty effortlessly as well (my handwriting barely even changes). That being said, handwriting has never been one of my strong points, which seems kind of strange to me, as drawing always was, and I can't understand how I'd be able to draw so meticulously while still having horrible handwriting. I also often tend to hold a pencil in the left-handed way while drawing. Trying to write that way still doesn't help, though.

[galaxychaser]

4 minutes ago, Scarlett45 said:

That was so tragic. His poor parents. 

He was an only child. They go to the cemetery every day. That’s so sad. I don’t even know them and I’m heartbroken. 

[Sew Sumi]

22 hours ago, Zella said:

Yes, I can read backwards and upside down easily! I also do mirror writing pretty easily. 🙂 I don't know if there is a connection with left-handedness or not, but I have read about mirror writing supposedly being a bit easier for many lefties.

I can technically write with both hands, but it is far too slow for me to do it left-handed. My penmanship with my right hand is absolutely atrocious. However, I actually hold a pen correctly left-handed. I do the whole lefty crab claw thing while writing right-handed. LOL 

I'm a lefty but have none of these talents. 😞 I don't even write crab clawed; I just let my hand get all inked up. 

I wonder if we're connecting these talents to DaVinci, probably the world's most famous lefty? 

Edited August 9, 2019 by Sew Sumi

[fonfereksglen]

20 minutes ago, Sew Sumi said:

I'm a lefty but have none of these talents. 😞 I don't even write crab clawed; I just let my hand get all inked up. 

I wonder if we're connecting these talents to DiVinci, probably the world's most famous lefty? 

I'm a weird lefty.  I am left eye dominant and  do fine motor skills like writing and sewing left handed.  I also do underhand type sports, like tennis and bowling,  left handed. However, I am right armed for throwing and batting and right footed.  My right arm is much stronger than my left.  Basketball was a jumble of left and right, but it worked just fine.  One thing I could never get was footwork for dancing!  It was probably a good thing I played violin and was in orchestra, because marching band would have been a horror show.  

[Christina87]

I got the tetanus shot! Whoooo hoooo! It's over! I felt nauseous a few minutes after, and it's already a little sore, but the shot itself wasn't too bad. Now I can focus on planning! I went to the school today, and they gave me an orientation schedule. It looks like we have a very organized, thorough orientation! I'm so thrilled about that! We didn't have much of one at my old school, and I started my first year confused about so many things. I love everything I've experienced about this school so far! So excited to start Monday. 

[Ohiopirate02]

I grew up with a left-handed father and older brother.  One of the few things about my childhood that I can criticize my late father about is the fact that he did not try to make either me or my little brother a switch hitter.  Instead, my dad taught us how to hit, throw and field right-handed.  I feel like this was a such a wasted opportunity, and I may have played softball longer if he would have.

[fonfereksglen]

1 hour ago, Ohiopirate02 said:

I grew up with a left-handed father and older brother.  One of the few things about my childhood that I can criticize my late father about is the fact that he did not try to make either me or my little brother a switch hitter.  Instead, my dad taught us how to hit, throw and field right-handed.  I feel like this was a such a wasted opportunity, and I may have played softball longer if he would have.

One more comment... I never switch hit either.  I was lucky that my dad played catch with his girl back in the 50s and early 60s,  as long as my brother was there too.  A rare dad back then.

The one advantage playing tennis with my weaker arm was my two handed backhand was my softball swing.  Whoosh.  This is fun.  I rarely talk sports anymore.

[doodlebug]

5 hours ago, galaxychaser said:

He was an only child. They go to the cemetery every day. That’s so sad. I don’t even know them and I’m heartbroken. 

After my nephew's death, my father went to the cemetery every morning on his way to work, said it helped him get through the day.  My father, never a gardener, stopped by a local nursery several times a week and made sure there were always fresh flowers at the grave, sometimes live in pots, sometimes cut flowers. The lady who owned it got to know him and would set stuff aside and tell him how to take care of them.  He learned how to dead-head the flowers in the pots, watered and fertilized them.  He became quite the expert on the subject.  It really did seem to help him, I hope Yelchin's parents are similarly comforted.

[doodlebug]

5 hours ago, Sew Sumi said:

I'm a lefty but have none of these talents. 😞 I don't even write crab clawed; I just let my hand get all inked up. 

I wonder if we're connecting these talents to DiVinci, probably the world's most famous lefty? 

I'm very dominantly left handed, can do almost nothing with my right hand.  I also drag my left hand across the paper even though, back when I was learning to use a pen in second grade, we used those cartridge pens with the liquid ink that smeared like crazy.  The nuns at school never tried to change me which is a good thing.  I am also left-footed and left-eyed.  No one else in my immediate family is a lefty.

I use right handed instruments to do surgery but hold them in my left hand.  When I tried to use left handed instruments in the past, I couldn't do it, I put pressure on the wrong parts of them because I was used to using the right handed stuff.  It's like trying to cut with left handed scissors when you've always used right handed ones with your left hand.  That doesn't work either.

On the subject of baseball and lefties:  I once delivered the child of a major league pitcher (actually I've delivered kids for several, but I digress).  As soon as his son was born, the guy told the nurse to put something in the baby's left hand.  "He needs to be holding something in his left hand all the time because he is going to be a lefty." Why? "Because left handed pitchers are always in demand and can get better money than righties.  If I had been a lefty, I'd have made the majors a lot sooner than I did as a righty."

Edited August 9, 2019 by doodlebug