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Small Talk: The Prayer Closet


Message added by Scarlett45

This is a reminder that the Politics Policy is still in effect.

I understand with recent current events there may be a desire to discuss political social media posts of those in the Duggar realm- this is not the place for those discussions. If you believe someone has violated forum rules, report them, do not respond or engage.

Political discussion is not allowed in this forum- this includes Small Talk topics. Please stay in the spirit of the policy- I have noticed a tendency for some to follow the letter but not the spirit.

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While we understand the frustration (change is never easy), please keep in mind that not everyone feels the same way and that for those members who don't, the ongoing conversation about other forums and chat options can equally be a cause of frustration.

Out of respect for your fellow posters, we kindly ask that you continue any discussion about alternatives via PM or the Technically Speaking: Bugs, Questions, & Suggestions area.

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1 hour ago, BetyBee said:

I made it through both events for my sister - her memorial service and the next day, the more casual get together with my Mom and my remaining siblings. Both were just fine. I was so delighted to see so many who flew in or traveled far to attend. It was very touching. We rehashed at Mom's the next day and Mom was up for a visit from all of us, which was so nice. We're watching her closely. To be so fragile at 91, with her own health issues and to lose a child is a really tough place for her to be. I'm so glad my brother lives with her. He's very gentle with her and keeps a watchful eye on her. I was armed with the kind words and encouragement from the Small Talkers, which helped me to get through a tough weekend. ❤️

I am so glad the gathering to celebrate your sister’s life brought you comfort and peace. 

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2 hours ago, BetyBee said:

I made it through both events for my sister - her memorial service and the next day, the more casual get together with my Mom and my remaining siblings. Both were just fine. I was so delighted to see so many who flew in or traveled far to attend. It was very touching. We rehashed at Mom's the next day and Mom was up for a visit from all of us, which was so nice. We're watching her closely. To be so fragile at 91, with her own health issues and to lose a child is a really tough place for her to be. I'm so glad my brother lives with her. He's very gentle with her and keeps a watchful eye on her. I was armed with the kind words and encouragement from the Small Talkers, which helped me to get through a tough weekend. ❤️

Yes, it is terrible to lose a child at any age.  I'm sorry you and your mother and family had to experience this.  We are coming up on a year for Sweet Son and it doesn't get easier.  I have been in a dark place lately.

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I’m currently taking penicillin for a root canal infection. Does anyone know if it will lessen my immunity if I get my third Covid jab while taking it? I have asked, but nobody seems to have an answer. 
 

@BetyBee I hope you were granted some closure from the services. My heart goes out to you. 
 

@lookeyloo I’m sorry you are going through dark times. I hope your good memories come to the forefront of your mind. *big hug* 

Wishing everyone a good week ahead. Goodness knows so many of us could use one. 💝

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MIndthinkr, I’m not sure about your antibiotic question.  It seems there are a lot of unknowns with covid vaccine third dose and boosters.  I’d probably check with my primary.  I had pretty good luck sending a PM through the medical portal site.  Whenever I’ve gotten any vaccines before like flu or shingles, they would ask was I feeling unwell and did I have a fever.  

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1 hour ago, Mindthinkr said:

I’m currently taking penicillin for a root canal infection. Does anyone know if it will lessen my immunity if I get my third Covid jab while taking it? I have asked, but nobody seems to have an answer. 
 

@BetyBee I hope you were granted some closure from the services. My heart goes out to you. 
 

@lookeyloo I’m sorry you are going through dark times. I hope your good memories come to the forefront of your mind. *big hug* 

Wishing everyone a good week ahead. Goodness knows so many of us could use one. 💝

I am a biotech student. My understanding is the antibiotic would not affect the vaccine. However, you are not supposed to get vaccines while sick. Even though you have the antibiotics on board, your immune system is still engaged in the fight. You don’t want to give your immune system another fight right now. One thing at a time!

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1 hour ago, SunnyBeBe said:

MIndthinkr, I’m not sure about your antibiotic question.  It seems there are a lot of unknowns with covid vaccine third dose and boosters.  I’d probably check with my primary.  I had pretty good luck sending a PM through the medical portal site.  Whenever I’ve gotten any vaccines before like flu or shingles, they would ask was I feeling unwell and did I have a fever.  

My primary “didn’t know”   I’m going to wait until I finish the course of antibiotics then get my booster. 
 

@Marshmallow Mollie  Thank you for your thoughtful reply. Your logic is good, but at some point I’m going to have to bite the bullet on this. It make take weeks and some endodontistry to get my mouth cleared of the whole infection. What I have is also spread to my gums and I have an appointment with a periodontist as well. This all stems from an injury I had as a child. As I am seeing some family on Thanksgiving and will be traveling mid-December (airline travel, but not during the holiday peak) I think I need to vaccinated. 

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2 hours ago, Mindthinkr said:

I’m currently taking penicillin for a root canal infection. Does anyone know if it will lessen my immunity if I get my third Covid jab while taking it? I have asked, but nobody seems to have an answer. 
 

As long as your infection is mild, the CDC thinks you should be OK.  Check out this screener direct from the CDC. 

https://www.cdc.gov/vaccines/covid-19/downloads/pre-vaccination-screening-form.pdf

At the bottom of page 3, it says:

"People with mild illnesses can be vaccinated. Do not withhold vaccination if a person is taking antibiotics"

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5 hours ago, lookeyloo said:

Yes, it is terrible to lose a child at any age.  I'm sorry you and your mother and family had to experience this.  We are coming up on a year for Sweet Son and it doesn't get easier.  I have been in a dark place lately.

@lookeyloo, I really appreciate your kind words. I think about you and the loss of Sweet Son all the time. I'm sorry you've been in a dark place. Hugs to you. 🤍

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Sending you so much love and support @lookeyloo. We are here for you. 

 

Last night, into today I am in the "low frequency sad" phase. Last night, I listened to a fair number of sad songs from musicals. Lots of Rent, Dear Evan Hanson, Memory from Cats. Yeah that is where I am right now.

WIth dementia and Alzheimer's you mourn the person a little bit at a time, and as angry as I am with my cousin, I wouldnt have wanted this for her either. So theres the loss our relationship as well. 

Whenever you lose someone you love it sucks, even if they lived a full life, even if you had a beautiful relationship. 

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16 minutes ago, Scarlett45 said:

Sending you so much love and support @lookeyloo. We are here for you. 

 

Last night, into today I am in the "low frequency sad" phase. Last night, I listened to a fair number of sad songs from musicals. Lots of Rent, Dear Evan Hanson, Memory from Cats. Yeah that is where I am right now.

WIth dementia and Alzheimer's you mourn the person a little bit at a time, and as angry as I am with my cousin, I wouldnt have wanted this for her either. So theres the loss our relationship as well. 

Whenever you lose someone you love it sucks, even if they lived a full life, even if you had a beautiful relationship. 

Thank you.,  I've been there the past year.   I just can't listen to any music, although we did see Hamilton and Fiddler on the Roof is next on November 9th.

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2 hours ago, lookeyloo said:

Thank you.,  I've been there the past year.   I just can't listen to any music, although we did see Hamilton and Fiddler on the Roof is next on November 9th.

There is something about music that touches us in the deepest parts of our hearts. I understand. Thinking of you.

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I’m so sorry for all those who are mourning the loss of loved ones.  May the days ahead be brighter and lighter.  🙏💐

About a month ago I switched my car radio to a classical station. I was trying to reduce my anxiety.  It has been increasing lately due to multiple reasons.  It’s the only thing I listen to in the car now AND I think it’s helping! I heard this today and shouted Oh yaaay aloud.  It seemed funny. Do people normally react like that to classical songs?  It was as if I heard my favorite Zeppelin tune. Lol

 

 

 

Edited by SunnyBeBe
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Well I will be darn- I heard from my cousin  L this evening (Great Aunt E’s daughter). She told me a date for funeral arrangements and that I should include photos for the slide show if I would like. 
 

I was nice (which I promised everyone I would be), I told her I was sorry she lost her mother, and that her mother was the second best thing to happen to me and one of the finest people I will ever know (all true). 
 

She then sent me more texts about how Aunt E and I had a special bond, blah blah blah. 
 

My thoughts are that she didn’t want people whispering about her if I didn’t show up at the funeral. I can also see my elder cousin R (who’s my Mom’s age, thus old enough to be both our Moms) putting her foot down and saying “whatever happened between you two, Scarlett45 thinks she’s not invited to the funeral, I don’t care what happened you have to invite her yourself. I won’t be there I am going on a cruise.”

May L get the help she needs, but I won’t be around to watch. My first responsibility is too myself. 
 

Truthfully I was very surprised to hear from her. Others were not. 

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Tonight's cat blanket.  Lilly, the small cat, was peacefully sleeping on my lap.  Then along came Flora, who weights about 12 pounds.  She plopped down on top of Lilly, and they have both been sleeping peacefully for the last half hour.  I keep my house on the cool side, and it is quite cold outside tonight, so I guess they are warm now.  They seem very happy, but my legs are getting tired.  They do keep me warm, however.

 

IMG_0807.jpg.6398853784b5104b615bcd16d8d58559.jpg

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9 hours ago, Scarlett45 said:

Well I will be darn- I heard from my cousin  L this evening (Great Aunt E’s daughter). She told me a date for funeral arrangements and that I should include photos for the slide show if I would like. 
 

I was nice (which I promised everyone I would be), I told her I was sorry she lost her mother, and that her mother was the second best thing to happen to me and one of the finest people I will ever know (all true). 
 

She then sent me more texts about how Aunt E and I had a special bond, blah blah blah. 
 

My thoughts are that she didn’t want people whispering about her if I didn’t show up at the funeral. I can also see my elder cousin R (who’s my Mom’s age, thus old enough to be both our Moms) putting her foot down and saying “whatever happened between you two, Scarlett45 thinks she’s not invited to the funeral, I don’t care what happened you have to invite her yourself. I won’t be there I am going on a cruise.”

May L get the help she needs, but I won’t be around to watch. My first responsibility is too myself. 
 

Truthfully I was very surprised to hear from her. Others were not. 

That's so interesting, @Scarlett45! You're probably right about how it came about. You have to do what's right for you. Family dynamics are so interesting.

My nephew's wife made sure to take ALL the flowers back to her house after my sister's funeral. She didn't know who most of the flowers were from and had no plan to send thanks to those who sent them. My younger sister grabbed the cards and took pics so that we could thank people properly. I don't even know why she wanted so many flowers, most of which would have to be disposed of in a few days. Worst of all, she and my nephew aren't vaxxed yet "not anti-vax, just busy and haven't gotten around to it yet" 🙄 and they're trying to get pregnant! We all were masked at the funeral home (I was double masked), but thanks to some people, it could turn out to be a super spreader event ☹️ I decided not to go to their house afterwards, but my younger sister did go and she's already getting tested just in case.

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57 minutes ago, BetyBee said:

That's so interesting, @Scarlett45! You're probably right about how it came about. You have to do what's right for you. Family dynamics are so interesting.

My nephew's wife made sure to take ALL the flowers back to her house after my sister's funeral. She didn't know who most of the flowers were from and had no plan to send thanks to those who sent them. My younger sister grabbed the cards and took pics so that we could thank people properly. I don't even know why she wanted so many flowers, most of which would have to be disposed of in a few days. Worst of all, she and my nephew aren't vaxxed yet "not anti-vax, just busy and haven't gotten around to it yet" 🙄 and they're trying to get pregnant! We all were masked at the funeral home (I was double masked), but thanks to some people, it could turn out to be a super spreader event ☹️ I decided not to go to their house afterwards, but my younger sister did go and she's already getting tested just in case.

Covid is a consideration for me with the funeral. My first responsibility is to my self, my Mom and my sister. I don’t even want to catch a sniffle because I have trips planned in Nov. 

My great aunt was the baby of 12, 8 of those 12 reproduced and my great aunt was the only one to have 1 child. Of the second generation (so my father’s generation) only 4 of those that lived to adulthood had no children. Imagine how many of us there are!

I think I’m out of the anger phase and I am just sad. And I feel really badly for my cousin- she did lose the very best thing that ever happened to her. 
 

I want to remember my Aunt how she was. In my own way. I did that running back and forth to the hospital and watching the life leave the body when my godmother died and I am glad I didn’t have to do that again. 

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13 hours ago, SunnyBeBe said:

I’m so sorry for all those who are mourning the loss of loved ones.  May the days ahead be brighter and lighter.  🙏💐

About a month ago I switched my car radio to a classical station. I was trying to reduce my anxiety.  It has been increasing lately due to multiple reasons.  It’s the only thing I listen to in the car now AND I think it’s helping! I heard this today and shouted Oh yaaay aloud.  It seemed funny. Do people normally react like that to classical songs?  It was as if I heard my favorite Zeppelin tune. Lol

 

 

 

Canon is my favorite song!

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2 hours ago, BetyBee said:

 Family dynamics are so interesting.

And that's an understatement! 

Your nephew's wife flower grab reminded me of a story I heard long ago. The details are now vague but it concerned a woman who worked in my agency - but a different office so I didn't know her well. Her immediate co-workers told me that after a big catered dinner, the woman directed her husband to help her and they went around picking up as many of the floral centerpieces from the tables as they could carry home. It wasn't an event they'd hosted or paid for, either. As with the flowers from your sister's service, it wasn't at all clear what they could do with all those flowers. People are sure funny. I'm glad your younger sister saved the day by getting the cards and taking photos so the senders can be thanked. 

@lookeyloo, I may have doubted the "anniversary effect" after the death of a loved one, but many years ago it hit me like a ton of bricks and demolished my doubts. It's good that you are aware of it, and I hope your memories are some comfort. 

@Scarlett45, it's good that your cousin reached out to you, and I understand that you have to put your health and that of your mom and sister first when deciding about your great-aunt's services. What a year you have had! 

ETA: My HMO sent a blast email last night saying they were now offering Moderna booster shots and to go online to schedule one. So I did. But I kept hitting a wall in the process near the end where it kept saying "no appointments available" no matter what date I chose. So I called them today. The nice woman I spoke with said, "we ran out" of the Moderna vaccines, which is why the system wouldn't give me an appointment. She suggested I try again on Friday and if they've been resupplied by then, the system will allow me to schedule the booster shot. (The system is set up so that one step is to indicate which vaccine I would be getting, and at least it's good to know that if the HMO's out of Moderna, its system won't schedule an appointment for that vaccine.)

Edited by Jeeves
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@lookeyloo anniversary dates are always tough but hopefully you’ll have some comfort in Sweet Son’s memories and his love for you.

@Scarlett45 also hoping your good memories of your Great Aunt will help and comfort you. Families can be a blessing and a trial.

The funeral flower story really makes one wonder about some people. 

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14 minutes ago, Jeeves said:

Good news. I was able to get the Moderna booster just now at a drive through clinic via the state health department. I'm sitting in the car for the 15 minute waiting time after the shot. I really wanted to get this done this week so I am a happy camper! 

PSX_20211027_125441.jpg

Yay!

-Jill Duggar Dillard

(I can’t wait to get mine. I’m glad you’re done).

Edited by Ijustwantsomechips
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17 minutes ago, ozziemom said:

We’re getting our Moderna booster on Sunday. Got an appointment online at a Publix pharmacy as soon as booster was approved, and it was still over a week out. Happy to be able to get it.

I also made DH an appointment for the Moderna booster as soon as it was approved.  He's at Walgreens right now getting it. I'm still 64 so have to wait till summer.

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I am so cold. I'm working in the Mechanical/Technical building until 3. It's cold outside & my door-less office is directly across from the automotive bays, which has it's doors open. Plus, the heat for the entire building is set at 68*. Next week I'm bringing a quilt.

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41 minutes ago, Nysha said:

I am so cold. I'm working in the Mechanical/Technical building until 3. It's cold outside & my door-less office is directly across from the automotive bays, which has it's doors open. Plus, the heat for the entire building is set at 68*. Next week I'm bringing a quilt.

That is cold! I’m sorry. 

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46 minutes ago, Cinnabon said:

I got my Pfizer booster and my flu shot both on Tuesday, and I’m happy to say that I had absolutely no side effects from either one. The Pfizer arm was only the tiniest bit sore for part of a day. 

Interesting!  I got my flu shot on Monday and my PCP advised that I not get the booster yet, but rather spread them out.  She said a lot of her patients who didn't have reactions with the first 2 Pfizer shots are getting taken out by the Pfizer booster.  LOL

So I scheduled my booster for the week of Thanksgiving since I'll be off work and can suffer in solitude, if needed.

*Last year I got the flu and pneumonia vaccines at the same time and had a terrible reaction, fever and chills for probably 36 hours.  It was awful.

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5 minutes ago, CouchTater said:

Interesting!  I got my flu shot on Monday and my PCP advised that I not get the booster yet, but rather spread them out.  She said a lot of her patients who didn't have reactions with the first 2 Pfizer shots are getting taken out by the Pfizer booster.  LOL

So I scheduled my booster for the week of Thanksgiving since I'll be off work and can suffer in solitude, if needed.

*Last year I got the flu and pneumonia vaccines at the same time and had a terrible reaction, fever and chills for probably 36 hours.  It was awful.

Idk, the CDC specifically said that it was ok to get both shots at the same time. Walgreens here is encouraging it - when you make an online appointment for the Covid booster, the system automatically asks if you would like to add a flu shot too.

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4 minutes ago, Cinnabon said:

Idk, the CDC specifically said that it was ok to get both shots at the same time. Walgreens here is encouraging it - when you make an online appointment for the Covid booster, the system automatically asks if you would like to add a flu shot too.

Maybe she was basing it on my bad reaction to the mix of vaccines last year (flu and pneumonia).

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3 hours ago, Absolom said:

Last night I learned that those of us who got three doses as immunocompromised now have a fourth dose as a booster in our future.   I'm getting a bit weary of all this.

I read this as well, but since the first 3 didn’t give me any antibodies, I doubt a fourth will make a difference. I see my hematologist next week and am anxious to discuss other options. I’m hopeful that monolonal antibodies will be approved as a preventative and actually work for blood cancer patients. I have noticed that, thanks to a recent high profile death, there has been more attention on the problem of blood cancer patients and COVID immunity. I’m hoping that will lead to a solution. I haven’t left my home in 21 months except for necessary medical treatment.  
 

I don’t post on this thread very often, but I occasionally lurk. My thoughts and prayers go out to everyone who has recently lost a loved one and those who are going through hard times. 
 

On a happier note, yesterday morning while I was still sleeping, my husband saw 5 deer in our yard and took pictures. We moved here 2 years ago and deer sightings still make me smile. About a month ago, I was sitting in our screened in patio and one walked through the yard about 15 feet away.  We had 3 regular visitors for a while, but 5 is a new record. I hope they show up again sometime soon. 

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I think I’ve fluctuated on this several times.  I think I’m settled now.  ( I think. Lol) I scheduled an appointment at Wallgreens Friday to get the FULL third dose  of Moderna.  I’ve been reading a lot about third doses and booster shots being used interchangeably. But, it’s confusing to know which one they are referring to.  I am guessing that if you get Pfizer, the full third dose is also called a booster.  I qualify for third full dose, due to being immunocompromised.  I’d prefer the half dose Moderna, which is actually the technical booster, but now believe I need another full dose due to my condition.  I’m ready to rest on Saturday….I’m just hoping it doesn’t keep me down more that a day this time. 

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7 hours ago, Absolom said:

Last night I learned that those of us who got three doses as immunocompromised now have a fourth dose as a booster in our future.   I'm getting a bit weary of all this.

I think the COVID vaccine is eventually going to be recommended annually, like a flu shot.  Probably some pharmaceutical company will combine them.

 

14 hours ago, BetyBee said:

.My nephew's wife made sure to take ALL the flowers back to her house after my sister's funeral. She didn't know who most of the flowers were from and had no plan to send thanks to those who sent them. My younger sister grabbed the cards and took pics so that we could thank people properly. I don't even know why she wanted so many flowers, most of which would have to be disposed of in a few days. Worst of all, she and my nephew aren't vaxxed yet "not anti-vax, just busy and haven't gotten around to it yet" 🙄 and they're trying to get pregnant! We all were masked at the funeral home (I was double masked), but thanks to some people, it could turn out to be a super spreader event ☹️ I decided not to go to their house afterwards, but my younger sister did go and she's already getting tested just in case.

Every family has at least one of these.  I have attended my share of funerals and I still have a potted plant in my office that came from a dish garden that was sent to my nephew's funeral back in '91.  That sucker has lasted!  But, I'm talking one plant, that's it.  And not cut flowers, but something that lasted.  My sister gave away every single floral arrangement and/or asked the funeral director to leave them at the church except for 1 vase of longstem white roses which she kept.  

At same sister's wedding, her father in law's current wife actually arrived at the reception with a shopping bag with handles and swept about three quarters of the wedding cake which had been sliced and put on plates into it and left.  I never got a piece of wedding cake despite being a bridesmaid.  And, no, my BIL's father didn't pay for the cake, he didn't pay for anything; the groom's mother, his ex, did the rehearsal dinner; he and his wife just showed up and ate dinner, stole some cake and hit the road.  My BIL was never close to his father, I think there was good reason for that.

Edited by Rootbeer
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14 minutes ago, Rootbeer said:

I think the COVID vaccine is eventually going to be recommended annually, like a flu shot.  Probably some pharmaceutical company will combine th

I'm afraid that's where we're headed.  Moderna is already testing a flu/COVID combo which I'll never be able to take.  The immunity boost at 10 to 14 days after a both a COVID vax and a flu vax cause my autoimmune disease to flare.  A combo reaction would be more than I want to handle.  The flu reaction is a lot worse than the COVID reaction, but I've already had three self-induced flares this year so I'm skipping flu currently.

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12 hours ago, Absolom said:

I'm afraid that's where we're headed.  Moderna is already testing a flu/COVID combo which I'll never be able to take.  The immunity boost at 10 to 14 days after a both a COVID vax and a flu vax cause my autoimmune disease to flare.  A combo reaction would be more than I want to handle.  The flu reaction is a lot worse than the COVID reaction, but I've already had three self-induced flares this year so I'm skipping flu currently.

 Due to my conditions, I prefer dividing my vaccines up and spacing them apart.  I would not like a flu shot combined with my  covid vaccine. I can see why it’s more convenient for some people.  I don’t mind making a special trip for each, if it will make it more comfortable for me.  

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21 hours ago, Scarlett45 said:
22 hours ago, Nysha said:

I am so cold. I'm working in the Mechanical/Technical building until 3. It's cold outside & my door-less office is directly across from the automotive bays, which has it's doors open. Plus, the heat for the entire building is set at 68*. Next week I'm bringing a quilt.

That is cold! I’m sorry. 

My boss promised to bring me a space heater so I don't have to freeze anymore. 

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16 hours ago, Rootbeer said:

@Rootbeer No no, I don’t mean “invited” in the formal sense of the term. But if she didn’t tell me directly, it’s a “you’re not welcome” type stance. 
 

ADOS* families (at least all the ones I have been involved with) have a very specific way of doing funerals. No matter your religion (Catholic, Episcopalian, Lutheran, Baptist- doesn’t matter)

Trust- if you’re on bad terms with people you will be barred at the door. Who is/is not welcome is a thing. Where people sit is a thing. Who’s a pallbearer is a thing. Processional order is a thing. My Aunt E was barred from her own brother’s funeral because his wife hated her and his kids couldn’t get her to change her mind- (this was before my time), barred at the DOOR. Not listed in the program. She and my Aunt J could not go inside!!!!!

When my Aunt B died (she was nanny to my sister and I) my Aunt E (that’s the aunt that just passed) did not tell the woman’s husband (they were separated and estranged). She did tell Aunt B’s adult stepchildren who told their father. When the man showed up she made him WALK BEHIND my Cousin L’s friend. Yes she did. It was a STATEMENT and everyone knew exactly what it meant. She said she only told his children (who were adults when the two got married) because they did love my Aunt B and she felt they deserved to be there. 
 

*American Descendants of Slavery- black families from other places I’m sure have different rituals. 

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