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Small Talk: The Prayer Closet


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1 hour ago, emmawoodhouse said:

My 89 year old MIL wants an iPad. She was bored and went to a class at her senior living residence. Now it's "everyone has one" blah blah blah. She's never been on the internet, slams technology every chance she gets, and is easily frustrated. 

Yeah, this will end well. 🙄

I got my mom a Kindle for Christmas last year, because she couldn’t go to the library. She mentioned that she was using it, and I asked her if she was using it to check out books from the library. She replied “no, I don’t want to go in to the library.” 😧

(She also wants to sell things she makes on Etsy. I….do not understand her thinking.)

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Friends- I have more tales of sorrow. 
 

My Great Aunt E has passed away this evening. Some of you may have remembered that her daughter and caregiver (my cousin) was hoarding the home and there were pests infestations. I made the decision to call social services in April after my Aunt was bed ridden and she didn’t clean up the house. 
 

Well some other relatives blamed my Mom and got blocked because they wanted to scream at me. 
 

I was told by another cousin (there are a LOT of us) and I told her I would pass the message along to another branch of the family but I likely won’t be at services because the daughter and I are on bad terms. Both cousins I talked to this evening said they understood. 
 

When I was very small I thought Flora, Fauna and Merriweather were Aurora’s great aunts. I have no more great aunts or uncles, and she will take the last family plot. 
 

I cannot even cry. 
 

But at least I am free of my cousin and that burden. I wanted better for both of them. 87yrs is a full life. And she was in good health and in her right mind for 80 of those years. That’s more than many get. 
 

I need a vacation. 

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1 hour ago, iwantcookies said:

I got a surgeon from Brazil wanting to be friendly . I blocked him. 99% sure he was fake.

Almost certainly. I get a lot of those on FB and Insta. Here are some of the dead giveaways: His profile photo is of a handsome man (that he copied from someone else's site), he has a prestigious job, he's  out of the country on a work assignment and he's always a widower with a child.

Edited by Bayarea4
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7 hours ago, emmawoodhouse said:

My 89 year old MIL wants an iPad. She was bored and went to a class at her senior living residence. Now it's "everyone has one" blah blah blah. She's never been on the internet, slams technology every chance she gets, and is easily frustrated. 

Yeah, this will end well. 🙄

My dad insisted on taking his computer, printer, and iPad with him when we moved him into memory care, as well as a very complicated TV/DVD player/receiver/TiVo/speaker/universal remote setup. It was a large hassle for us but he needed to feel he was still capable, even though he wasn’t. It gave my husband something to do when we visited as he tried to fix whatever tech snarl Dad had created. It was all annoying but if it made Dad feel better then I am glad we did it, even though I did not enjoy it at the time (he died in June, as many of you know). I used to hear myself on the phone making suggestions for how to fix things before remembering that was not something he could do. It sucked, but I do think he needed the sense of normalcy.

I am so sorry for your loss, @Scarlett45. You have certainly been through enough.

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@Scarlett45 - I'm so sorry for loss of your great aunt. I think it's sweet the way you thought of the fairy godmothers as it related to your great aunts. I wish you, your Mom and sister peace and that you can take comfort in memories of happier days. 

Today is my sister's memorial service. I'm a bit of an introvert and these kinds of events are torture for me. There are a lot of good things about being in a big family, but if I'm honest, I feel pressured by my oldest sister and youngest brother to do what they want me to do. It doesn't help that it all involves a great deal of driving that also wears me out. My youngest brother is insisting that we all get together at Mom's house again tomorrow. Mom isn't really up for all of those houseguests, so it's a bit selfish on his part. I love my sibs, but I'm only going to do what I can handle this weekend and it may/may not include that extra event. I'm going to see how I feel tomorrow. Today will be emotionally exhausting. 

I'm a procrastinator, so I still have to pick up the pics of my sister that I had printed for my Mom, niece and nephew, so that they can each have a little book of photos of my dear sister. Mom is 91 and she's so devastated to lose a child. She's also depressed about being the only one of her generation left.  😢

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My condolences to you @BetyBee. So much loss and sorrow today. 
 

The last FULL conversation we were able to have with my great aunt was in January. We told her about my godmother being sick and she was able to understand. She said to my Mom “M not only are you @Scarlett45’s mother, you are my friend, it’s so wonderful to see a friend today.”

I am glad we have that memory. 
 

For those that pray, please pray for all of us. My cousin is going to need it, but she’s not my problem any more. May she get the help she needs. 

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11 hours ago, iwantcookies said:

I got a surgeon from Brazil wanting to be friendly . I blocked him. 99% sure he was fake.

 

10 hours ago, Bayarea4 said:

Almost certainly. I get a lot of those on FB and Insta. Here are some of the dead giveaways: His profile photo is of a handsome man (that he copied from someone else's site), he has a prestigious job, he's  out of the country on a work assignment and he's always a widower with a child.

Sigh. I've never gotten those. I just get ads for incontinence products, wigs, and assisted living facilities. 

I also never get id'd when I buy beer at places that have giant signs stating "We ID EVERYONE". 

On the plus side: masks hide my jowls!

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1 hour ago, BetyBee said:

@Scarlett45 - I'm so sorry for loss of your great aunt. I think it's sweet the way you thought of the fairy godmothers as it related to your great aunts. I wish you, your Mom and sister peace and that you can take comfort in memories of happier days. 

Today is my sister's memorial service. I'm a bit of an introvert and these kinds of events are torture for me. There are a lot of good things about being in a big family, but if I'm honest, I feel pressured by my oldest sister and youngest brother to do what they want me to do. It doesn't help that it all involves a great deal of driving that also wears me out. My youngest brother is insisting that we all get together at Mom's house again tomorrow. Mom isn't really up for all of those houseguests, so it's a bit selfish on his part. I love my sibs, but I'm only going to do what I can handle this weekend and it may/may not include that extra event. I'm going to see how I feel tomorrow. Today will be emotionally exhausting. 

I'm a procrastinator, so I still have to pick up the pics of my sister that I had printed for my Mom, niece and nephew, so that they can each have a little book of photos of my dear sister. Mom is 91 and she's so devastated to lose a child. She's also depressed about being the only one of her generation left.  😢

You are right to do what you feel you can and that’s that. No excuses are needed.  Be gentle with yourself.  I hope things go well.  
 

Scarlett, I’m so sorry about the loss of your aunt.  You’ve been through so much.  
 

Ref. modern electronic devices for seniors or those with cognitive decline.  My parents got an iPad last year and it’s been a positive thing for them.  They had never used a computer or smart phone, but took to the iPad.  I was shocked.  I have tutored them and help them with occasional trouble shooting.  I think it depends on the person as to how they can manage it.  

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@BetyBee So sorry about your sister. Try and take care of yourself too, families can be emotionally draining. 
Re: modern electronics and elderly parents, mine were both gifted used iPads and became addicted, lol. Neither could navigate a cell phone or computer, but the iPad worked out well.

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20 minutes ago, ozziemom said:

@BetyBee So sorry about your sister. Try and take care of yourself too, families can be emotionally draining. 
Re: modern electronics and elderly parents, mine were both gifted used iPads and became addicted, lol. Neither could navigate a cell phone or computer, but the iPad worked out well.

Even my great aunt E (who just died) liked iPads. “So clear and bright”. Maybe it’s like a small tv to them?

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I’m getting ready to go get another coffee machine. My Keurig 2.0 stopped working this morning.☹️ It keeps saying add water, then says Filling as the water runs through it.  It went through 2 reservoirs of water and wouldn’t stop.  I’ve done the trouble shooting….cleaning, shaking, tapping, turning over, unplugging, repluggin, etc,  it seems the computer is stuck.  I was so disappointed.  I look forward to my morning cup. I improvised and made myself a cup with a paper towel, hot water and opening the k-cup to get the content out…..not the best outcome.  It’s at least 6 yrs old, though.  I guess it’s served its purpose.  Any suggestions would be appreciated. 

Edited by SunnyBeBe
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1 hour ago, skatelady said:

 

Sigh. I've never gotten those. I just get ads for incontinence products, wigs, and assisted living facilities. 

I also never get id'd when I buy beer at places that have giant signs stating "We ID EVERYONE". 

On the plus side: masks hide my jowls!

You can have all my catfishes 😂

3 hours ago, BetyBee said:
Edited by iwantcookies
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1 hour ago, SunnyBeBe said:

I’m getting ready to go get another coffee machine. My Keurig 2.0 stopped working this morning.☹️ It keeps saying add water, then says Filling as the water runs through it.  It went through 2 reservoirs of water and wouldn’t stop.  I’ve done the trouble shooting….cleaning, shaking, tapping, turning over, unplugging, repluggin, etc,  it seems the computer is stuck.  I was so disappointed.  I look forward to my morning cup. I improvised and made myself a cup with a paper towel, hot water and opening the k-cup to get the content out…..not the best outcome.  It’s at least 6 yrs old, though.  I guess it’s served its purpose.  Any suggestions would be appreciated. 

On 11/3 keurig will be $35 in Walmart 

63B8920E-5EF9-4607-B691-8ACC78FFE0AC.jpeg

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3 hours ago, BetyBee said:

@Scarlett45 - I'm so sorry for loss of your great aunt. I think it's sweet the way you thought of the fairy godmothers as it related to your great aunts. I wish you, your Mom and sister peace and that you can take comfort in memories of happier days. 

Today is my sister's memorial service. I'm a bit of an introvert and these kinds of events are torture for me. There are a lot of good things about being in a big family, but if I'm honest, I feel pressured by my oldest sister and youngest brother to do what they want me to do. It doesn't help that it all involves a great deal of driving that also wears me out. My youngest brother is insisting that we all get together at Mom's house again tomorrow. Mom isn't really up for all of those houseguests, so it's a bit selfish on his part. I love my sibs, but I'm only going to do what I can handle this weekend and it may/may not include that extra event. I'm going to see how I feel tomorrow. Today will be emotionally exhausting. 

I'm a procrastinator, so I still have to pick up the pics of my sister that I had printed for my Mom, niece and nephew, so that they can each have a little book of photos of my dear sister. Mom is 91 and she's so devastated to lose a child. She's also depressed about being the only one of her generation left.  😢

I’m so sorry. 

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1 hour ago, SunnyBeBe said:

I’m getting ready to go get another coffee machine. My Keurig 2.0 stopped working this morning.☹️ It keeps saying add water, then says Filling as the water runs through it.  It went through 2 reservoirs of water and wouldn’t stop.  I’ve done the trouble shooting….cleaning, shaking, tapping, turning over, unplugging, repluggin, etc,  it seems the computer is stuck.  I was so disappointed.  I look forward to my morning cup. I improvised and made myself a cup with a paper towel, hot water and opening the k-cup to get the content out…..not the best outcome.  It’s at least 6 yrs old, though.  I guess it’s served its purpose.  Any suggestions would be appreciated. 

I have a Nespresso Vertuo machine with a separate Aerosomething or other. It heats and "froths" the half n half. (I don't have that milk frother that it lists in that link) It was pricey and the pods are pricey but I prefer the flavor to a Keurig. I had no luck with French press but I have used a normal drip coffee maker but I like the option of brewing just one cup. I have run into the occasional issue of it not opening sometimes. I've had it two years come this November. Also, the pods are recyclable but it's a program that you get a free bag and bring the filled bag to UPS to ship (free) it to Nespresso for recycling. There are not many choices as far as pods/capsules go and you can't really find them in stores, you have to order online. And looking at a box of 10 pods for $10/$11 compared to a bag of coffee and a normal drip coffee maker makes me question my choice of convenience. But I do like the coffee, I find it's better than running to the local coffee shop.

Edited by frenchtoast
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Just now, frenchtoast said:

I have a Nespresso Vertuo machine with a separate Aerosomething or other. It heats and "froths" the half n half. It was pricey and the pods are pricey but I prefer the flavor to a Keurig. I had no luck with French press but I have used a normal drip coffee maker but I like the option of brewing just one cup. I have run into the occasional issue of it not opening sometimes. I've had it two years come this November. Also, the pods are recyclable but it's a program that you get a free bag and bring the filled bag to UPS to ship (free) it to Nespresso for recycling. There are not many choices as far as pods/capsules go and you can't really find them in stores, you have to order online. And looking at a box of 10 pods for $10/$11 compared to a bag of coffee and a normal drip coffee maker makes me question my choice of convenience. But I do like the coffee, I find it's better than running to the local coffee shop.

I had one of those type coffee makers - a cheap brand from Walmart that had a little basket I could put my own grounds in.  After several years this $20 deal went on the fritz.  I decided to use the little basket and my own hot water and so far I am satisfied with this.  We have one of those instant hot water thingies under the sink, so it is very easy.  

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14 hours ago, Scarlett45 said:

Friends- I have more tales of sorrow. 
 

My Great Aunt E has passed away this evening. Some of you may have remembered that her daughter and caregiver (my cousin) was hoarding the home and there were pests infestations. I made the decision to call social services in April after my Aunt was bed ridden and she didn’t clean up the house. 
 

Well some other relatives blamed my Mom and got blocked because they wanted to scream at me. 
 

I was told by another cousin (there are a LOT of us) and I told her I would pass the message along to another branch of the family but I likely won’t be at services because the daughter and I are on bad terms. Both cousins I talked to this evening said they understood. 
 

When I was very small I thought Flora, Fauna and Merriweather were Aurora’s great aunts. I have no more great aunts or uncles, and she will take the last family plot. 
 

I cannot even cry. 
 

But at least I am free of my cousin and that burden. I wanted better for both of them. 87yrs is a full life. And she was in good health and in her right mind for 80 of those years. That’s more than many get. 
 

I need a vacation. 

I’m sorry. 
 

In my opinion your cousin is going to get even worse hoarding wise. It’s truly an awful thing to deal with. I think of it as a mental illness. 

Losing a parent is horrible my condolences to your cousin.

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5 minutes ago, iwantcookies said:

I’m sorry. 
 

In my opinion your cousin is going to get even worse hoarding wise. It’s truly an awful thing to deal with. I think of it as a mental illness. 

Losing a parent is horrible my condolences to your cousin.

I am sorry she lost her mother too. To me the saddest thing in the world is to have no mother.
 

But yes I agree my cousin is going to need serious mental health help and I don’t know if she will accept it. No matter what she did or how angry I am with her, I wouldn’t want her in that position. But I have to protect my own peace. I offered to help, but I don’t have to enable or be mistreated. 

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Lucky she owns her own house… a landlord might evict her for hoarding.

6 minutes ago, Scarlett45 said:

I am sorry she lost her mother too. To me the saddest thing in the world is to have no mother.
 

But yes I agree my cousin is going to need serious mental health help and I don’t know if she will accept it. No matter what she did or how angry I am with her, I wouldn’t want her in that position. But I have to protect my own peace. I offered to help, but I don’t have to enable or be mistreated. 

 

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I just came home from getting my 'flu shot and my booster.  My brother the pharmacist says Moderna is currently working on a combined booster/flu vaccine, so next year we can have both in one shot.

For people dealing with elders and ipads, there is a product called "Grandpad" that my dad really liked.  It is an ipad-like thing that is also a cell phone.  The beauty of it in dealing with elders is that you control who is in their phone book, so they can only call their friends and family, and only designated friends and family can call them.  No more worries about spam calls.  It has video call, also.  You can put pictures of the people in their phone list, so they just have to touch the photo to dial.  It has all kinds of games (poker, bridge, slots, black jack, and many more), music and other features.  I spoke to them about adding an app for people that cannot speak.  My dad really could have used that, but I don't know if that has been added or not.  They can take it anywhere and use the  phone and games.  There is no internet feature, so no worries about scam emails. But you do have to have it connected to the internet to use it.  And, if they break it or it gets lost, the company replaces it.  It costs about the same as a cell phone per month, but if you have elders that are alert but you don't want them bothered by scams, and you want to keep in touch, it is great.  My dad really liked it, until he could not speak at all anymore.  They are based in NE Iowa, and the customer service wonderful.  it is worth looking into, in my opinion.  My mom is too far gone mentally, so we do not have the service any longer.

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46 minutes ago, CalicoKitty said:

I just came home from getting my 'flu shot and my booster.  My brother the pharmacist says Moderna is currently working on a combined booster/flu vaccine, so next year we can have both in one shot.

For people dealing with elders and ipads, there is a product called "Grandpad" that my dad really liked.  It is an ipad-like thing that is also a cell phone.  The beauty of it in dealing with elders is that you control who is in their phone book, so they can only call their friends and family, and only designated friends and family can call them.  No more worries about spam calls.  It has video call, also.  You can put pictures of the people in their phone list, so they just have to touch the photo to dial.  It has all kinds of games (poker, bridge, slots, black jack, and many more), music and other features.  I spoke to them about adding an app for people that cannot speak.  My dad really could have used that, but I don't know if that has been added or not.  They can take it anywhere and use the  phone and games.  There is no internet feature, so no worries about scam emails. But you do have to have it connected to the internet to use it.  And, if they break it or it gets lost, the company replaces it.  It costs about the same as a cell phone per month, but if you have elders that are alert but you don't want them bothered by scams, and you want to keep in touch, it is great.  My dad really liked it, until he could not speak at all anymore.  They are based in NE Iowa, and the customer service wonderful.  it is worth looking into, in my opinion.  My mom is too far gone mentally, so we do not have the service any longer.

Thanks for the information, that does sound very helpful. I always worried about my mom clicking on things from Facebook. She usually managed to order duplicates of junk from China that were non returnable.

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1 hour ago, Scarlett45 said:

I am sorry she lost her mother too. To me the saddest thing in the world is to have no mother.
 

But yes I agree my cousin is going to need serious mental health help and I don’t know if she will accept it. No matter what she did or how angry I am with her, I wouldn’t want her in that position. But I have to protect my own peace. I offered to help, but I don’t have to enable or be mistreated. 

What did adult protective services say about the hoard in the home?

1 hour ago, iwantcookies said:

I myself prefer an iPad to a phone. Only wish apple laptops were cheaper! And iPhone too. $800 for an iPhone ouch.

Get a slighter older model iPhone and it won’t cost more than a couple hundred dollars.

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3 hours ago, ozziemom said:

Thanks for the information, that does sound very helpful. I always worried about my mom clicking on things from Facebook. She usually managed to order duplicates of junk from China that were non returnable.

I did that, too, until I wised up and deleted Wish. There's nothing like ordering a blanket from China and getting a baby's washcloth-sized piece of fabric.

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4 hours ago, Cinnabon said:

What did adult protective services say about the hoard in the home?

Last I heard the social worker told me he wasn’t allowed to discuss the ongoing case. 
 

I haven’t set foot in the home since April. I have no idea what the condition is and now that my Aunt is gone I could not care less (outside of the well being of the animals). 

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4 hours ago, Cinnabon said:

What did adult protective services say about the hoard in the home?

Get a slighter older model iPhone and it won’t cost more than a couple hundred dollars.

iPhone 11 brand new is $500. A couple hundred is $200-300 in my book. 

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7 hours ago, iwantcookies said:

On 11/3 keurig will be $35 in Walmart 

63B8920E-5EF9-4607-B691-8ACC78FFE0AC.jpeg

I bought this one today for $67. in the store.  I haven’t opened it yet.  I’m debating returning it on Nov. 3, getting a refund, then immediately buying it again. 🥴 A lot trouble, but that’s a big savings. 

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Good news this Sunday. My wonky Keurig resumed working after a couple more shakes and taps.  Lol Good thing I hadn’t opened the new one. I don’t trust my old one though. I’m going to return the new one when it goes on sale and immediately  repurchase it for that great sale price.  I’ll keep it as a backup or give as a gift.  
 

I’ve finally decided that I will get the Moderna full third dose.  A friend got hers Friday and felt pretty lousy yesterday, but is much better today.  I have to reserve time to do that.  It didn’t work out this weekend like I had hoped.  Probably next week.  I dread it, but it’s worth it.  I read online that women are by far the majority of those getting boosters and third doses.  

Edited by SunnyBeBe
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18 hours ago, SunnyBeBe said:

I bought this one today for $67. in the store.  I haven’t opened it yet.  I’m debating returning it on Nov. 3, getting a refund, then immediately buying it again. 🥴 A lot trouble, but that’s a big savings. 

You can buy 2 for $70.

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1 hour ago, Jeeves said:

This was an amazing blazingly colorful fall day. I spent some time in one park in the afternoon, then hustled a few miles to another one to see if I could catch some nice light in the golden hour before sunset. Yep. Here are a couple of cellphone snaps. The first one is looking northwest across the little lake.

sterne1.thumb.jpg.1d39899f514bcc9e0947cd4fdac2c440.jpg

 

The second one was taken from the west side of the lake looking east when the light broke through some clouds and lit up a couple of big trees:

 

sterne2.thumb.jpg.1eb7230f67a5feb5ec2152c1cf906135.jpg

Exquisite!  Thanks for these!

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15 hours ago, SunnyBeBe said:

Good news this Sunday. My wonky Keurig resumed working after a couple more shakes and taps.  Lol Good thing I hadn’t opened the new one. I don’t trust my old one though. I’m going to return the new one when it goes on sale and immediately  repurchase it for that great sale price.  I’ll keep it as a backup or give as a gift.  
 

I’ve finally decided that I will get the Moderna full third dose.  A friend got hers Friday and felt pretty lousy yesterday, but is much better today.  I have to reserve time to do that.  It didn’t work out this weekend like I had hoped.  Probably next week.  I dread it, but it’s worth it.  I read online that women are by far the majority of those getting boosters and third doses.  

I’m glad your coffee maker came back to life and am especially glad you decided to get the third vaccine dose! I feel very much more protected since I got mine. Hope your side effects will be very mild.

———————————-

Absolutely stunning pictures, @Jeeves. Thanks so much for sharing them.

Edited by Love2dance
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