Jump to content

Type keyword(s) to search

Small Talk: The Prayer Closet


Message added by Scarlett45

This is a reminder that the Politics Policy is still in effect.

I understand with recent current events there may be a desire to discuss political social media posts of those in the Duggar realm- this is not the place for those discussions. If you believe someone has violated forum rules, report them, do not respond or engage.

Political discussion is not allowed in this forum- this includes Small Talk topics. Please stay in the spirit of the policy- I have noticed a tendency for some to follow the letter but not the spirit.

Guest

While we understand the frustration (change is never easy), please keep in mind that not everyone feels the same way and that for those members who don't, the ongoing conversation about other forums and chat options can equally be a cause of frustration.

Out of respect for your fellow posters, we kindly ask that you continue any discussion about alternatives via PM or the Technically Speaking: Bugs, Questions, & Suggestions area.

  • Reply
  • Start Topic

Recommended Posts

16 hours ago, Zella said:

Bringing this over from the Sweet Fellowship thread. 

@lianau On the subject of stealing signatures, I totally stole the way I write my 7s from a Spanish teacher I had in 4th grade. She put a slash through 7s, which I'd never seen done before. But I liked it so much that I started writing my 7s like that and still do over 20 years later. And though the rest of my penmanship is atrocious, I'm really proud of my 7s! Nobody else can still tell them apart from my 1s and my 4s, but in the back of my mind, I'm like, "Come on, you plebes, my 7s are sophisticated as hell!" 

I just looked up how I wrote my 7 back then. With a slash through the 7 . Then I looked up current elementary school books  online and they teach the slash 7 . I suspect it's to distinguish the 7 and the 1 and make that easier for 1st graders to learn . 

  • Love 2
Link to comment
4 hours ago, Mindthinkr said:

@SunnyBeBe I am also a huge fan of the movie Almost Famous. I watched it again last week. 

Something about it  hits me deep. Maybe, it’s something to do with growing up in that time period...and Kate Hudson is a knockout in that movie. She made that character. Just perfection.  It has the drama, comedy, music and acting.....a home run in my book.

For Prince fans, I’m watching Prince: Sign of the Times for free on IMDb channel.  It’s pretty good. It’s a concert. He does most of his hits.  It’s difficult to believe he’s gone. 

  • Love 3
Link to comment
On 8/1/2020 at 11:24 PM, Jynnan tonnix said:

So, typical day...Having Mom over for the weekend as usual...no problem other than her always managing to notice whatever has not been accomplished since the last time she was here. But that's par for the course, and I know that my actual sense of ambition goes out of the window as soon as the real summer temps arrive, so I deserve it.

Daughter, son-in-law and Grand-Jynlet also over for a couple of days (also as usual these days). I do like to have them over, though. 

Mr. Jyn found a recipe for an Indian-spice inspired vegetarian shepherd's pie for me to make for my daughter , which took me waaaay longer than it should have (I don't cook nearly as well from recipes as I do when I just make things up on instinct). Then made dinner for everyone else. All came out very tasty. After dinner, Mr Jyn and I, plus son-in-law went out to sit on the Adirondack chairs in the backyard with another glass of wine to relax. My daughter was putting Grand-Jynlet down for the night.

Anyway, somehow we got to talking about how difficult this year has been to get anything in the vegetable garden to grow, etc...It's really been a horrible season, and I'll admit that while early mornings would probably be the best time to do work, I don't do mornings, and especially since Mr Jyn doesn't go out anything like early himself; he actually gets the most work done in the godawful part of midday that's not fit for man or beast. So, anyway, it was really pleasant sitting there after dinner, and conversation went to both my son-in-law and I agreeing that  this was the nicest time of the day to do some work, and we sort of got up to start pulling at a few weeds, and so did Mr Jyn, as he was certainly not going to sit there if we were working - quite understandable. However, after 10 or 15 minutes, I decided that the couple of glasses of wine I'd had were making me feel a bit woozy, and I didn't necessarily feel like devoting the evening to yard work given the fact that we had a houseful of company. but Mr Jyn kept doggedly at the part of the flowerbed he had tackled. so I didn't feel right giving up since I was the one who had brought up the idea of weeding to begin with. So I kept on. At which point Mr Jyn decided that I was being a "ridiculous bitch" about the whole thing. This is just the sort of thing I seem to have to deal with way too often these days, and part of me just figures that the only way not to end up feeling really put upon is to basically agree that he is right, and I have to find a way to be more reasonable (and to do my fair share of yard work. which he is probably more than justified in feeling that I don't quite get to, but I do babysit my granddaughter, do most of the cleaning, and all the cooking, to be fair - plus which he doesn't hate hot weather the way I do).  So. Yeah. I'm frustrated. I feel as though I'm horribly negligent on the one hand, but also feel as though I don't really deserve some of what he accuses me of on the other.

Sorry to bring this up here....I'm just having a really depressing evening...

Welcome to the Club.  I always say “it’s a man’s world”, no matter how you put it.  After all our houses and kids out of the house, we bought a condo.  They do all the maintenance on the outside.  Now, my husband watches or plays golf all day.  And shops and goes to CVS.  That’s it.

  • Love 1
Link to comment
1 hour ago, Oldernowiser said:

I don’t really know how to start this...and it’s hard to even type the words, which is probably why I’ve put it off.

My mom died last week. She did NOT have Covid, for which I am forever grateful. She had had a few more falls lately, including the last time I talked to her two days prior. I called and she was able to answer the phone but not get up from the floor to hit the alert wall call button. I called the AL front desk and they got her up and she seemed okay.

Two days later she seemed more confused than usual, so they took her to the ER for a CT scan. My saint of a sister, who lives four hours away, had gotten that call at something horrible like 4 a.m. and when she got to the hospital they wouldn’t let her in the ER due to the forty Covid positive patients waiting in the ER to be admitted. My sister could see the people through the ER windows and she said it was a scene from hell and my sister was a nurse.

The internal medicine doctor called my sister that afternoon to say they were planning to admit Mom overnight, just for observation, if they could find a bed, but that she was doing well, laughing and making friends with everyone there. The CT scan was negative and everything else checked out.

At 3 a.m. my sister was called at her hotel and told that Mom had died. Her heart rate, despite the pacemaker, just kept dropping and she quietly moved on. The hard part, like so many these days, is that she didn’t have family there. I couldn’t even get on a plane to go help, before or after, because it’s a five hour trip and just not worth the risk. I hadn’t seen her since Christmas.

No service. My sister took her ashes and my father’s and spread them to the winds, together, near where they lived for 45 years. 

She was 92. The thing about my mom, though, is that she was always so ALIVE. She was a natural, genuine extrovert and could make six new best friends in a gas station parking lot if you left her alone for three minutes. She was smart, kind, a terrific audience, and and even in her dementia years, still occasionally very funny. She sang all of the time, seemingly out of nowhere and was endlessly positive and cheerful.

(Needless to say, I take after my dad.)

Anyway, I’m still just sort of in shock. This is a woman who successfully battled severe heart disease for 25 years...her heart had been restarted twice. It sounds kind of ridiculous to say her death was “sudden”....but it was. Now it’s nothing but paperwork and more paperwork and every once in a while, I suddenly think, “Oh SHIT I forgot to call Mom today!!!” before I remember.

It could have been so much worse...cancer, being bedridden, her dying alone in the night at the AL place... so there’s that. Our relationship was complicated by the fact that she thought my father could do no wrong and he and I did not get along. At all. So, feelings.

So this is hard. 

My best to all of you who are also going through stuff. 2020 is just one rough, rough year. 

Please don’t beat yourself up.  Your Mother knows you loved her.  My Mother died watching her favorite soap opera.  She called me three times that morning for no reason.  I should have went over, but I was busy with my kids.  I felt the same way.  

  • Love 2
Link to comment

Oldernowiser, I'm so sorry to read about your mom. 92 years is a good, long life and I'm glad she didn't suffer or linger at the end. I hope you can find some peace over the coming days. This year just sucks. 

  • Love 7
Link to comment
27 minutes ago, not you again said:

I have not. I'm kind of a purist where my teenage idols are concerned. I was disappointed to find out that the actor who plays Elton did his own singing in Rocketman, and haven't watched it because of that. Off to check out Pentatonix. 🏃‍♀️

I hope you enjoy them. I personally did not care for the song ( sorry) they they are a fantastic group. Check out them singing Imagine... give you goosebumps.

  • Love 2
Link to comment
7 hours ago, doodlebug said:

Love that movie!  Truly a feast for music lovers.  The scene where they are all in the bus singing Elton John's Tiny Dancer is just sums up the pure joy of loving great music.

Speaking of great music, when George Harrison was inducted posthumously into the Rock Hall as a solo performer; Jeff Lynne, Tom Petty, Steve Winwood and others got together and did a stellar version of While My Guitar Gently Weeps.  Look for George's son, Dhani next to Tom, no mistaking who he is.  And then, at the end, Prince completely shreds the guitar solo, reminding us all what a talent he was and how much he is missed.

https://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=rock+hall+prince+while+my+guitar&docid=608010323652444199&mid=D600C617246F91A547A4D600C617246F91A547A4&view=detail&FORM=VIRE

That performance took me to higher place mentally and emotionally.  The star of that set for me was Prince.  They were all great, but Prince brought the house down, even for the others on the state.

  • Love 5
Link to comment

@Oldernowiser,  I am so very sorry about your mother. It is a difficult thing to lose your mother, even when we are older and wiser. A year and a half later, I still sometimes feel a little adrift. It is not unusual to wonder what you could have done differently,  but I know that you are a loving compassionate person and you did everything you could have done. Your mom knows that too. I am sorry that in these difficult times you did not get to experience the closure of a memorial/funeral service for her.  My thoughts are with you and please be gentle with yourself. Your mother sounds like she was such a sweetheart, and that is what she she would want. 

  • Love 14
Link to comment
1 minute ago, Marshmallow Mollie said:

Musical theater is a touchy subject in my family right now. My brother works in theater production. His wife works in musical theater. As you can imagine, they have let their NYC apartment go, put everything in storage, and are crashing with the parents. 

Such a sad time for the performing arts community right now. My cousin is an actress/singer(theatre mostly) and has been able to also develop a puppet making business- she’s got NO WORK obviously. Thank goodness her husband has a salary job so they are fine but her soul is longing for work. 
 

Her is her on the live album for a musical in production based on the life of Hildegard (she plays Hildegard). I am so proud!!😍

  • Love 11
Link to comment

OLDERNOWISER, I am so sorry about the loss of your mother.  She sounds like a terrific person.  Regardless of age, I still think it's difficult to lose those we cherish.  I really can't imagine losing a parent, though, most of us will experience it eventually.  This happening during covid is especially harsh.  You said that you hated that she died alone and it caused me to think of something I recently heard from a woman on tv.  She said that at the end, our loved ones who have gone before come for us.  So, we don't go alone.  Our loved ones are there to be with us and we go with them, hand in hand.  That brought me a lot of comfort.  My aunt who recently died was reaching towards the ceiling shortly before she died, calling her husband's name.  So, I think he came for her.  

It's difficult to know just why things happen the way they do.  I hope that your friends, family and everyone around here will be able to provide you with support.  

  • Love 16
Link to comment

Oldernowiser:  lots of love sent your way.  Losing a parent is tough, no matter how old they are or you are.  You’re still their little kid and they’re still your mommy.  My mom died suddenly 26 years ago, on her wedding anniversary.  I guess my dad just wanted her with him.

I’ll continue to think of you and your dear mom..

  • Love 6
Link to comment
48 minutes ago, SunnyBeBe said:

OLDERNOWISER, I am so sorry about the loss of your mother.  She sounds like a terrific person.  Regardless of age, I still think it's difficult to lose those we cherish.  I really can't imagine losing a parent, though, most of us will experience it eventually.  This happening during covid is especially harsh.  You said that you hated that she died alone and it caused me to think of something I recently heard from a woman on tv.  She said that at the end, our loved ones who have gone before come for us.  So, we don't go alone.  Our loved ones are there to be with us and we go with them, hand in hand.  That brought me a lot of comfort.  My aunt who recently died was reaching towards the ceiling shortly before she died, calling her husband's name.  So, I think he came for her.  

It's difficult to know just why things happen the way they do.  I hope that your friends, family and everyone around here will be able to provide you with support.  

When my aunt was in her last few days, she would point toward the ceiling and call out for my father ( her brother) who had died several years earlier in a car crash. When the hospice worker came the next day, I told her my aunt was hallucinating. She explained very kindly, that my father WAS there helping my aunt transition over. It was very powerful to me. Last year, in my mother's last week, she started calling to her twin brother who had previously passed. I knew then that my Uncle Joe was there to help Mama go home and it was very comforting knowing that he was helping her. 

  • Love 23
Link to comment
1 minute ago, Liddy52 said:

When my aunt was in her last few days, she would point toward the ceiling and call out for my father ( her brother) who had died several years earlier in a car crash. When the hospice worker came the next day, I told her my aunt was hallucinating. She explained very kindly, that my father WAS there helping my aunt transition over. It was very powerful to me. Last year, in my mother's last week, she started calling to her twin brother who had previously passed. I knew then that my Uncle Joe was there to help Mama go home and it was very comforting knowing that he was helping her. 

Thank you for sharing...I find this idea comforting as well.

@Oldernowiser, I am so sorry for your loss. Much peace and healing to you in this difficult time. I imagine the restrictions and complications caused by Covid and the already unprecedented stresses only make all of this that much harder. I am so sorry.

My grandmother died ten years ago and I was unable to attend her funeral...missing that formal opportunity to say goodbye and mourn her with others who loved her was very hard for me to get past. I also had a lot of guilt over not visiting/calling as much as I could have in her last years. Months after she died, I had a dream where I saw her again. I started crying and told her I wasn't ready to say goodbye to her. She responded very gently, "we're never ready to say goodbye to the people we love." That profoundly changed the tone of my grieving process as I realized that for me, it was accurate- no matter how many times I might have visited or called, I would always long for one more visit, one more call, one more month with her, one more year....one more everything. In the end, she knew I loved her and I knew she loved me. Nothing I could do or didn't do in the end would have changed those core feelings. This has helped me over the years to let go of some of the regret surrounding her loss.

I wish you comfort and kindness to yourself as you go through your own grieving process. ❤️

  • Love 16
Link to comment

When my grandfather was dying he was calling his wife’s name. She died shortly before him. I do think our loved ones come for us. I have such vivid dreams of my mom I know she’s with me visiting. She deteriorated so quickly I didn’t get to say goodbye or be there when she died. At least I get to see her in my dreams. 
 

Once I almost drowned. I experienced going to paradise and my grandparents picked me up and hugged me and told me to go back. Brains are weird. That was an interesting vision/hallucination/brain needing oxygen. 

Sorry for the novel.

 

  • Love 18
Link to comment

Thank you all so much for your kindness and words of wisdom. You’re lovely people, all of you.

While I’m at it, Pentatonix...try “Mary Did You Know” or “Take Me Home.” That they sing like that a cappella is amazing to me.
 

 

  • Love 13
Link to comment
1 hour ago, Liddy52 said:

When my aunt was in her last few days, she would point toward the ceiling and call out for my father ( her brother) who had died several years earlier in a car crash. When the hospice worker came the next day, I told her my aunt was hallucinating. She explained very kindly, that my father WAS there helping my aunt transition over. It was very powerful to me. Last year, in my mother's last week, she started calling to her twin brother who had previously passed. I knew then that my Uncle Joe was there to help Mama go home and it was very comforting knowing that he was helping her. 

That is so interesting and comforting.  When my grandma was dying, one of my cousins was sitting with her and she called me and said "I want to tell grandma we are all fine and will miss her but it is okay to go".  I said, yes, please.  So later my cousin called (we all lived far apart) after grandma died, to say that she told grandma it was okay to go.  Grandma up til then had been non responsive.  Shortly thereafter, grandma sat straight up in the bed and called out long deceased grandpa's name, loud and strong.  Then she laid back down.  And then a little while later she peacefully passed.  We were all comforted by this.

  • Love 17
Link to comment
10 minutes ago, Oldernowiser said:

Thank you all so much for your kindness and words of wisdom. You’re lovely people, all of you.

While I’m at it, Pentatonix...try “Mary Did You Know” or “Take Me Home.” That they sing like that a cappella is amazing to me.
 

 

Have you seen their " Imagin" vidio?

  • Love 1
Link to comment
22 hours ago, Oldernowiser said:

I don’t really know how to start this...and it’s hard to even type the words, which is probably why I’ve put it off.

My mom died last week. She did NOT have Covid, for which I am forever grateful. She had had a few more falls lately, including the last time I talked to her two days prior. I called and she was able to answer the phone but not get up from the floor to hit the alert wall call button. I called the AL front desk and they got her up and she seemed okay.

Two days later she seemed more confused than usual, so they took her to the ER for a CT scan. My saint of a sister, who lives four hours away, had gotten that call at something horrible like 4 a.m. and when she got to the hospital they wouldn’t let her in the ER due to the forty Covid positive patients waiting in the ER to be admitted. My sister could see the people through the ER windows and she said it was a scene from hell and my sister was a nurse.

The internal medicine doctor called my sister that afternoon to say they were planning to admit Mom overnight, just for observation, if they could find a bed, but that she was doing well, laughing and making friends with everyone there. The CT scan was negative and everything else checked out.

At 3 a.m. my sister was called at her hotel and told that Mom had died. Her heart rate, despite the pacemaker, just kept dropping and she quietly moved on. The hard part, like so many these days, is that she didn’t have family there. I couldn’t even get on a plane to go help, before or after, because it’s a five hour trip and just not worth the risk. I hadn’t seen her since Christmas.

No service. My sister took her ashes and my father’s and spread them to the winds, together, near where they lived for 45 years. 

She was 92. The thing about my mom, though, is that she was always so ALIVE. She was a natural, genuine extrovert and could make six new best friends in a gas station parking lot if you left her alone for three minutes. She was smart, kind, a terrific audience, and and even in her dementia years, still occasionally very funny. She sang all of the time, seemingly out of nowhere and was endlessly positive and cheerful.

(Needless to say, I take after my dad.)

Anyway, I’m still just sort of in shock. This is a woman who successfully battled severe heart disease for 25 years...her heart had been restarted twice. It sounds kind of ridiculous to say her death was “sudden”....but it was. Now it’s nothing but paperwork and more paperwork and every once in a while, I suddenly think, “Oh SHIT I forgot to call Mom today!!!” before I remember.

It could have been so much worse...cancer, being bedridden, her dying alone in the night at the AL place... so there’s that. Our relationship was complicated by the fact that she thought my father could do no wrong and he and I did not get along. At all. So, feelings.

So this is hard. 

My best to all of you who are also going through stuff. 2020 is just one rough, rough year. 

my deepest condolences on your loss. it is such a change when our mothers go ...it was a huge adjustment for me.  be good to yourself and hold those good memories close. 

  • Love 8
Link to comment

@Oldernowiser, I'm so sorry for your loss. Most of what you wrote would be beautiful in an obituary. I hope you at least saved what you wrote about your mom for yourself somewhere (in addition to here).

I am also feeling like I should have visited more. We visit for Dad's birthday every year, which is in April. Meaning we were scheduled to go two weeks after we went under shelter-in-place orders here. I don't expect I'll be able to see him until the middle of next year at the earliest and even that may be pushing it. He is losing some of his ability to carry on a phone conversation and I don't expect that to improve, either.  My friend's father is 94 years old and in Honolulu. She used to spend a week out of every six there, at minimum, but it's now been months and no telling when she'll be able to see him. Or if she will. It's entirely possible neither of us will get to see our dads again.

2020 can f*^k right off.

  • Love 1
Link to comment

Zoomama, that is good news.  I can image that is a great relief.  I hope they can get you all the info soon.  Maybe, it will be best case scenario.  I hope so. 

For JCBrown and all those who have not been able to visit family, I share your regret. My cousin, who I am responsible for, has been in Memory Care for 6 years. She's not really aware anymore, but, I still liked to visit her and think she knew I was there. I haven't seen her since covid.   I inquired about visiting her through the window at the MC, but, they haven't gotten back with me about the plan.  New director is setting it up.  It's been a long time, since I visited. Her birthday is coming up and even though, she has no idea, I'd like to sing her Happy Birthday.  Maybe somewhere down inside it would register with her.  

  • Love 13
Link to comment
On 8/9/2020 at 11:02 AM, Zella said:

I'm ridiculously happy with how many of my fellow seven slashers are on here. I've never met anyone else in person who does that. 

 

2 minutes ago, Ijustwantsomechips said:

I do it too.  Seven years of French will do that to you.

Me, too. I also slash my zeroes.

  • Love 8
Link to comment
On 8/9/2020 at 7:07 PM, crazycatlady58 said:

I hope you enjoy them. I personally did not care for the song ( sorry) they they are a fantastic group. Check out them singing Imagine... give you goosebumps.

Pentatonix has the best best version of O Come, All Ye Faithful! That’s my favorite Christmas cd next to the Jackson 5. I don’t like the new lady as much, but she can sing too. 

 

I’m so sorry for your loss @Oldernowiser. You mom sounds like she was a gem.

Edited by Ijustwantsomechips
  • Love 7
Link to comment

It has been a day.

Around 10:45 this morning my phone alerted me that we were in a severe thunderstorm warning, then I saw some messages from friends who live further west saying they were in basements with power off and very frightened due to the wind.  Husband was out for a run (he had dropped his car off for repairs and had decided to run the few miles home), so I called him, buckled the kids into the car, and picked him up quick since it wasn't doing anything at the moment. Not even 10 minutes after we got home, the sky was black, winds were crazy, and sirens were blowing to get to the basement. We could hear thump after thump of branches falling. We were in the basement for around 90 minutes total, thankfully my kids had their Kindles Kindles enough to play games. 

Thankfully we are safe. Our house is more or less fine. Our yard is a disaster. Huge chunks of our wooden privacy fence are gone. A healthy tree completely split in half, crushed my kids swingset (new to us this summer), took out our fire pit and grill, and barely missed the house (damaged the gutters and hit hard enough to knock pictures off the wall inside). Branches everywhere in the back and front yard. We have a few massive branches down in the side yard and one on the roof of our garage. I'm not even sure what we will do to clean them up. Power is out for most of the state. Phone lines are down in my small town so we can't get hold of insurance so aren't sure what to move and what not to. We're taking multiple pictures of everything just in case. I don't even want to think about how much money we will have to spend (insurance will kick in, but doubt they will cover the full cost of replacing everything that needs repaired). There goes what savings we have 😪 And I will probably have to use vacation time for today until we get power and internet back (estimates right now say Wednesday), because even though the majority of my company is affected, they won't care that we can't work. And we have freezers full of food in the basement just waiting to spoil. 

So. Today sucked. 2020 sucks- even the weather is out to get us. I just needed to vent for a minute, and now I have to preserve phone battery for as long as possible. 

  • Love 1
Link to comment

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Restore formatting

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
×
  • Create New...