Small Talk: The Prayer Closet

[Readalot]

I think it is wise to be cautious when evaluating stories shared online, especially if someone appears to be hinting that they need money. But I will just say that if I shared the past 5 years or so that my family has endured, you might conclude that I was exaggerating. So - I hope we can somehow temper caution with open hearts. Some people don't have support systems in real life and just need to vent.

Same and agree! Just my sister's story alone plays like a bad Lifetime movie.

[Westiepeach]

I finally, in a moment of weakness, saw the You Tube thing about The Grand Tour of the TTH. I must admit ... I thought The Prayer Closet was something we all made up. Now I see it's true. Until we remodel ... I call the folding chair!

[GeeGolly]

I finally, in a moment of weakness, saw the You Tube thing about The Grand Tour of the TTH. I must admit ... I thought The Prayer Closet was something we all made up. Now I see it's true. Until we remodel ... I call the folding chair!

I think the Prayer Closet is equivalent to a time-out. For a family so deep in faith why would they want prayer associated with punishment? Or do they always see it that way with all the restrictions they impose on themselves?

 

If I was religious, I would want it to bring me comfort & strength. Am I missing something here?

[bigskygirl]

I had my appointment this afternoon. I will be having a fasting blood test to see how my cholesterol and electrolytes levels look. This coming Wednesday afternoon at 3:30 p.m. I will be in Great Falls to see the sleep specialist to go over my sleep study test results and for him to take a look at my CPAP machine. 9/30 I will have a blood test to see if my thyroid med dosage is right (checking for hypo or hyperthyroidism.) On Thursday October 1st, I will have another stress test/echocardiogram, and I will be seeing a cardiologist on 10/29.

 

My blood pressure was looking good so maybe the CPAP machine is doing its job. I was having some chest pressure and feeling a little light headed before the appointment. The nurse practitioner thinks I may be anemic. Hopefully, we will get a better picture of what is going on by the end of October. *crossing fingers*

[ChocolateAddict]

Just coming across from the technology stuff mentioned in the Dillard thread. The comments were about how teenagers and 20 somethings rely on their phones to the point of being dependent.  

And I don't mean to sound aggressive or rude but many of us rely on our phones for just about everything.  I know that my phone has all the numbers for my friends, my work schedule, my uni timetable and map, my emails and 101 other things that seem necessary.  We know that people have lived without iPhones for hundreds of years and that most of the stuff on our phones isn't necessary but so what?  We are really the first generation to grow up with all of this at our fingertips so of course we jumped straight in.  Out of all my friends, I only have the landline numbers for two of them because if we need to get in contact I can text them or Facebook message them or, if I really need to actually speak to them, call their mobile. 
In any given day I will use my phone to check my emails, find a train to catch, note down my work shifts, text my friends, check how many steps I have taken, have a look at my news apps, scroll through Facebook and occasionally Instagram (but not regularly, I find it boring).  I might use the calculator if I can't do the maths in my head, listen to some music or map the best way to get somewhere.  And if I had Snapchat, I would be getting upwards of 30 'Snaps' a day.  So when that is all taken away, people don’t know what to do.  It sounds stupid but for many people, their phone is an extension of themselves.  I don’t think that my responses would be as extreme as the ones mentioned but I certainly would be uncomfortable without it.

[Happyfatchick]

yesterday, my daughter must have climbed the hill over and over all day (telephone signal) because we texted off and on all day. She asked about the board meeting, and provided some information I didn't know (like the 2 board members listening in on computers but keeping silent). We had what I considered to be a good talk about it; why I went, what I wanted to accomplish, my sense of pride for doing it. She wasn't negative at all. Yesterday.

Today, the very first thing I got was a long, lengthy BLAST FROM HELL. I read it, read it again. Put it down for an hour,myriad again. I'm telling you, it was a cannon blast. She even covered things that I had nothing to do with! I wasn't sure (still am not) whether it was her, or maybe he'd gotten her phone. Regardless who was typing, i got the message. Butt out. She has always (since late high school) been able to talk to me in a way that makes me feel inferior. She's the superior Christian, she's the better person, she's the Mother Superior. [Oddly, my inferiority hasn't affected her acceptance of my help when needed, but it is a major block now that she's - you know - sacrificing and serving the Lord full time (and I'm...not).] I answered something like this "Wow. I tried to answer you from my heart, as you spoke, but everything I said sounds like I'm trying to fight, and I'm not. So. Ok. Good morning to you, too, sunshine". Then I cried for a long time.

Also, Saturday, on FB, he said something like "we sure wish we could afford that motorcycle we know of for $300, it would be a major help to us." And PRESTO, the Lord provided (or maybe it was Josh's fans) the funds and before sundown, he had the motorcycle. (And the fans had several moving tales of going to GET said motorcycle. I was moved to tears myself. But, sometimes I get teary when I gag). That worked so well for him, he posted another plea today, saying they'd been "led" to start a Bible study in their home and to feed the attendees as part of the ministry. They need for people to pledge what they can, $100 a week (combined) ought to do the trick. He's hit pay dirt - asking for donations couldn't get them there, but his faithful followers are willing to throw $10 or $20 in occasionally.

I have to google Razing Ruth, I don't know this story. I only wish my reports were fiction. I can provide the "giving" website if anyone feels like throwing some money in a hole.

Also, I got a little too close to an embroidery needle with 900 lbs of pressure behind it last night. Sewed completely through my finger. And what do you SAY at such a time??? Honestly, NOTHING. You suck in air to your toes, and by the time you can speak at all, you're past swearing.

[Wellfleet]

Ahhh thank you Gwelio, now I 'get' it.  And understand.  I'm a member of a group (fans of a particular television show now cancelled) and after a couple of years found that someone's personal life on there was a little too much, if ya'll know what I mean.  I think this slowly dawned over other people in the group as well and there was a lot of talk amongst ourselves.  She's never asked for money thank heavens, but the various illnesses and disabilities that she and her family have had?  Nope, don't think so, and I say that not as a nurse or a doctor mind you, but common sense does prevail at times.  I find it's better to tell the truth about myself, it's so much harder to keep lies in a row.  

 

We had someone just like that who worked in our office. Always something medical going on. Over the three years she was there, she was out for three major surgeries and something else a bit less drastic which I can't remember. Her workload was reduced before and after these incidents for certain periods of time as well. Guess who picked up the slack each time? In the 38 months of her tenure with us, she was out a total of 14 months. !!!  She was finally "let go" when it was determined she really was not capable of doing the job. I think she has Munchausen's because we later learned she'd had a LOT of jobs before ours, and her work records were similar at many of the other jobs. Secures job, then gone time and again for medical treatments, hospitalizations, etc. I'm sympathetic with people having medical troubles, and would certainly hope people would be understanding for me in the same situation. But to hear her tell it herself, this person's entire life was one incident after another. Just when she appeared recovered from her bout with A, condition B would come along. 

[Julia]

Just coming across from the technology stuff mentioned in the Dillard thread. The comments were about how teenagers and 20 somethings rely on their phones to the point of being dependent.  

And I don't mean to sound aggressive or rude but many of us rely on our phones for just about everything.  I know that my phone has all the numbers for my friends, my work schedule, my uni timetable and map, my emails and 101 other things that seem necessary.  We know that people have lived without iPhones for hundreds of years and that most of the stuff on our phones isn't necessary but so what?  We are really the first generation to grow up with all of this at our fingertips so of course we jumped straight in.  Out of all my friends, I only have the landline numbers for two of them because if we need to get in contact I can text them or Facebook message them or, if I really need to actually speak to them, call their mobile. 

In any given day I will use my phone to check my emails, find a train to catch, note down my work shifts, text my friends, check how many steps I have taken, have a look at my news apps, scroll through Facebook and occasionally Instagram (but not regularly, I find it boring).  I might use the calculator if I can't do the maths in my head, listen to some music or map the best way to get somewhere.  And if I had Snapchat, I would be getting upwards of 30 'Snaps' a day.  So when that is all taken away, people don’t know what to do.  It sounds stupid but for many people, their phone is an extension of themselves.  I don’t think that my responses would be as extreme as the ones mentioned but I certainly would be uncomfortable without it.

 

I get that. I especially get that because my twenty-year-old daughter made the tactical mistake of updating her iPhone and not immediately going to settings and disabling all the functions Apple activates by default in every update (for instance, if you go to the latest iOS, did you realize that you were signed up for copying all the data on your device to your cloud account and allowing data in your email and calendar to be captured by default?). Which is how I discovered that she keeps herself calm during the day by playing a really data-heavy game when our ISP told me that we had eaten twelve GB of data in four days.

 

But, WADR, it's kind of like masturbation. It's something everyone does, and I would never suggest that anyone not do it, but once you pass the door of the office nobody's interested in working harder so you can do it. 

[ChocolateAddict]

I completely agree that being dependent on a phone isn't an excuse for not picking up the slack at work.  I can't use my phone with either of my jobs so that hasn't been a problem for me. I can appreciate how annoying and frustrating it would be to have someone who sits on their phone instead of doing work.  I just wanted to point out that while it isn't an excuse for not doing your job, our dependence on phones isn't purely narcissistic or just for games - we actually do use it for other things like organizing, planning and all that.  Some of us are nice and not entirely dependent on our phones, I swear! 

[Wellfleet]

yesterday, my daughter must have climbed the hill over and over all day (telephone signal) because we texted off and on all day. She asked about the board meeting, and provided some information I didn't know (like the 2 board members listening in on computers but keeping silent). We had what I considered to be a good talk about it; why I went, what I wanted to accomplish, my sense of pride for doing it. She wasn't negative at all. Yesterday.

Today, the very first thing I got was a long, lengthy BLAST FROM HELL. I read it, read it again. Put it down for an hour,myriad again. I'm telling you, it was a cannon blast. She even covered things that I had nothing to do with! I wasn't sure (still am not) whether it was her, or maybe he'd gotten her phone. Regardless who was typing, i got the message. Butt out. She has always (since late high school) been able to talk to me in a way that makes me feel inferior. She's the superior Christian, she's the better person, she's the Mother Superior. [Oddly, my inferiority hasn't affected her acceptance of my help when needed, but it is a major block now that she's - you know - sacrificing and serving the Lord full time (and I'm...not).] I answered something like this "Wow. I tried to answer you from my heart, as you spoke, but everything I said sounds like I'm trying to fight, and I'm not. So. Ok. Good morning to you, too, sunshine". Then I cried for a long time.

Also, Saturday, on FB, he said something like "we sure wish we could afford that motorcycle we know of for $300, it would be a major help to us." And PRESTO, the Lord provided (or maybe it was Josh's fans) the funds and before sundown, he had the motorcycle. (And the fans had several moving tales of going to GET said motorcycle. I was moved to tears myself. But, sometimes I get teary when I gag). That worked so well for him, he posted another plea today, saying they'd been "led" to start a Bible study in their home and to feed the attendees as part of the ministry. They need for people to pledge what they can, $100 a week (combined) ought to do the trick. He's hit pay dirt - asking for donations couldn't get them there, but his faithful followers are willing to throw $10 or $20 in occasionally.

I have to google Razing Ruth, I don't know this story. I only wish my reports were fiction. I can provide the "giving" website if anyone feels like throwing some money in a hole.

Also, I got a little too close to an embroidery needle with 900 lbs of pressure behind it last night. Sewed completely through my finger. And what do you SAY at such a time??? Honestly, NOTHING. You suck in air to your toes, and by the time you can speak at all, you're past swearing.

 

OMG, Happy. Sometimes when I read your posts I think you are the female Job, being visited by all manner of plagues, troubles and problems. You have my sympathy for all of it. Because of you, I am really appreciating my own quiet, uncomplicated, boring life. FWIW, I think you're right and your SIL wrote the second e-mail. Probably ticked off your daughter was so cooperative and friendly the day before. Just want to let you know I'm going to be praying for some huge, hideous, hitherto-undiscovered species of tropical crawlie to find your SIL, become curious and eventually take a good-sized chomp out of him, causing him to lapse into a painless but incurable 50-year coma. In a few years - or less - your daughter will get a divorce and marry the handsome Latin doctor who first brought her the news of the coma. Try putting some manuka honey on your finger as soon as you can. You'll be stunned at how quickly it heals.

Edited September 22, 2015 by Wellfleet

[CherryMalotte]

I just have no words HFC...none.  I'm very sorry.  I think at this point I would back off of texting, calling - all of it for awhile, because you are going to drive yourself nutty.  I'd bet though that the blast came from the SIL.  If she gets to the point where she needs you she will let you know.  

 

It's a horrible thing to say but I've gone a day here without my mother calling and griping about the family stuff, and I'm kinda happy.   

[Happyfatchick]

My other DIL dropped off Neosporin and Elsa bandaids for my boo-boo. There were some snowman bandaids too, from the movie Frozen, obviously.  But my granddaughter (7) insisted "NO, you don't want THOSE ones", as she's digging through looking for Elsa.  She gave me two, and I could feel the sacrifice.  I feel better already. 

 

Oh, and JELLYBEANS, how horrible.  I know you don't want to elaborate about it - but do say this - you said (paraphrasing) ALL leukemia has returned.  Does your friend have more than one form of leukemia?  I am packaging up big fat hugs and cyber-scooting them to you right now, and share with your roomie.  THE AGE just kills me.  Hugs, hugs, hugs for you both.  And a warm pink fuzzy blankey.

Edited September 22, 2015 by Happyfatchick

[Muffyn]

ChocolateAddict,  I work in tech so I use my phone for my schedule, alarm clock, email for multiple accounts, games when I'm trapped somewhere and about to go crazy, transit news, text messaging, and on and on.  So I feel ya!   I'm 53 and many of the people I know also use their phones this way, especially those who work on the road.  Some also view videos (screen's too small for my taste), video chat with their kids when we're on the road, etc. 

 

The thing I've noticed is there will always be complaints of "kids these days".  When I was young, we had teachers who complained that we were lazy and stupid.  Their generation was so superior.  My great grandmother used to complain about people using their cars to go places or, as she would say, "Did you take the machine?"   Later in her life, if we took the machine she would then figure out maybe we could run an errand or two for her or drop her by somewhere.  I've heard complaints about watching too much TV, playing video games, being home alone after school, being from single families, using microwaves, using cell phones, travelling too much; you get the idea.  IMO each generation complains about what is new or different for the next generation.  It's not actually better or worse; it's just different opportunities, new technologies, different lifestyles.  Society changes and we change with it.  

 

As for people with medical issues, I have had 49 medical procedures, some minor, some major.  I have had cancer multiple times. I had cancer related surgery during my sophomore year of college.  I finished the year while doing chemo. I also share a genetic disorder with my siblings.  One died 6 years ago, one is in long term care and one has had four major heart surgeries.  They are in their 50s.  With all of my surgeries, I have missed no more than a month's work total.  I scheduled facial reconstruction during a project break over the winter holidays so I would not miss work.  I had dual knee surgeries and was on a plane for work two days later.  I am very close to being a million mile flier.  I was only stopped by a major neck injury two years ago that kept me off the road.  I switched positions to be able to work from home, including supporting a customer in Australia thereby shifting to a schedule for which I worked until midnight my time. I own a home and live financially conservatively because I have to plan for the fact that I may have to retire very early if my disability progresses more rapidly.  I have been a top performer at every job I have held in the last 20 years.  

 

So while I can understand people's complaints about people  not holding up their end of the  work, please understand that people with disabilities and those with major health conditions are in a damned if you do, damned if you don't situation.  It is hard to get hired if someone is aware of your disability.  If you're not working, it is hard to pay your way.  The vast majority of people feel better about themselves if they are able to contribute in some way.  I'm going to keep working as long as I can.  I am also going to do everything I need to do to keep being able to walk.  Along the way, I will have people accuse me of wearing braces I don't need and lying about surgeries. I will have people laugh about some aspects of my disability.  I will have ignorant people lecture me that if I only did x, y or z all of my problems would go away.  I'll just let it roll off my back and keep going.  That's the only thing I can do. 

[Love2dance]

yesterday, my daughter must have climbed the hill over and over all day (telephone signal) because we texted off and on all day.can, $100 a week (combined)

Also, I got a little too close to an embroidery needle with 900 lbs of pressure behind it last night. Sewed completely through my finger. And what do you SAY at such a time??? Honestly, NOTHING. You suck in air to your toes, and by the time you can speak at all, you're past swearing.

Happyfatchick, I concur with the other posters who think the blast came from your SIL. It just doesn't jive with the conversation you had the day before.

Sorry about your finger. Yikes!!!! Maybe you shoulda saved that stab for a voodoo doll with you know who's name on it.

Hang in there....zillions of hugs to you.

I had my appointment this afternoon. I will be having a fasting blood test to see how my cholesterol and electrolytes levels look. This coming Wednesday afternoon at 3:30 p.m. I will be in Great Falls to see the sleep specialist to go over my sleep study test results and for him to take a look at my CPAP machine. 9/30 I will have a blood test to see if my thyroid med dosage is right (checking for hypo or hyperthyroidism.) On Thursday October 1st, I will have another stress test/echocardiogram, and I will be seeing a cardiologist on 10/29.

 

My blood pressure was looking good so maybe the CPAP machine is doing its job. I was having some chest pressure and feeling a little light headed before the appointment. The nurse practitioner thinks I may be anemic. Hopefully, we will get a better picture of what is going on by the end of October. *crossing fingers*

Bigskygirl, glad you are finally getting some help and answers. Hopefully once the info is all in, they will know exactly what you need to feel better.

[Muffyn]

Clearly I’m on a roll tonight, so adding to what I said earlier.  I don’t usually share details of my health or family issues on this board.  However, I can only support those that do.  If by posting their health concerns, family issues or other challenges people receive some feeling of support, a sense of belonging to a community or a sense of peace, keep posting.  If we do nothing else in this world, offering comfort and support to even one person makes our efforts worthwhile.

 

Now I’ll crawl back into my hole and work on my writing.

[Itsnotreality]

I think it's a given that on any anonymous internet boards, even one as lovely as this one has become, there will occasionally be down right no good peeps (worse pretending to be lovely peeps. Sound like some other family we know?). Yup, if the BS meter is going off, I think there is usually something to that.

That said, can I just say how lovely this board is. It is so nice to have this warm & fuzzy place. Although I haven't ever been as open as some, you know when you're having a bad day or week and just being in the presence of a friend is enough to help without even real venting. Sometimes popping in here is that.

And sometimes it is easier to share our deep worries or stresses with (sort of) strangers. and sometimes those strangers are better support than our real life ones. So thank goodness we can all be that for each other once in awhile.

[Micks Picks]

CHERRY  I am sorry about your cat.  We all have to do this, multiple times in our lives, and it always sucks.

[GeeGolly]

I think Jelly is referring too Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia, HFC.

 

Also like to add that if I shared different events of the last 5 years, I would send all your BS meters a bleeping. Adult life is not for sissies. 

[phoenix62]

Here you go : http://www.amazon.com/Midwifes-Tale-Gretchen-Moran-Laskas/dp/0385335547

Just got it for kindle. I'm stuck in the hospital this weekend (shelter in place) because of the Pope's visit. I'm looking for good books to read!

Well, it was a long weekend with the lump in my neck and I didn't get in early to see my doctor, so I've got to wait 24 more hours. This stupid thing is pressing on my trachea something fierce and causing an ache that goes up to behind my ears now. I'm hoping my doc can just jam a needle into it tomorrow and drain it or give me a pill that makes it go away quickly. Hopefully it's just a weird cyst or maybe a random lymph node that popped up. Fingers crossed!

 

I've never heard of Razing Ruth before. Was this some kind of website?

This lump pressing against your trachea doesn't sound good. Did you tell the doc this? I hope they can help you...

[Ilovemylabs]

ChocolateAddict,  I work in tech so I use my phone for my schedule, alarm clock, email for multiple accounts, games when I'm trapped somewhere and about to go crazy, transit news, text messaging, and on and on.  So I feel ya!   I'm 53 and many of the people I know also use their phones this way, especially those who work on the road.  Some also view videos (screen's too small for my taste), video chat with their kids when we're on the road, etc. 

 

The thing I've noticed is there will always be complaints of "kids these days".  When I was young, we had teachers who complained that we were lazy and stupid.  Their generation was so superior.  My great grandmother used to complain about people using their cars to go places or, as she would say, "Did you take the machine?"   Later in her life, if we took the machine she would then figure out maybe we could run an errand or two for her or drop her by somewhere.  I've heard complaints about watching too much TV, playing video games, being home alone after school, being from single families, using microwaves, using cell phones, travelling too much; you get the idea.  IMO each generation complains about what is new or different for the next generation.  It's not actually better or worse; it's just different opportunities, new technologies, different lifestyles.  Society changes and we change with it.  

 

As for people with medical issues, I have had 49 medical procedures, some minor, some major.  I have had cancer multiple times. I had cancer related surgery during my sophomore year of college.  I finished the year while doing chemo. I also share a genetic disorder with my siblings.  One died 6 years ago, one is in long term care and one has had four major heart surgeries.  They are in their 50s.  With all of my surgeries, I have missed no more than a month's work total.  I scheduled facial reconstruction during a project break over the winter holidays so I would not miss work.  I had dual knee surgeries and was on a plane for work two days later.  I am very close to being a million mile flier.  I was only stopped by a major neck injury two years ago that kept me off the road.  I switched positions to be able to work from home, including supporting a customer in Australia thereby shifting to a schedule for which I worked until midnight my time. I own a home and live financially conservatively because I have to plan for the fact that I may have to retire very early if my disability progresses more rapidly.  I have been a top performer at every job I have held in the last 20 years.  

 

So while I can understand people's complaints about people  not holding up their end of the  work, please understand that people with disabilities and those with major health conditions are in a damned if you do, damned if you don't situation.  It is hard to get hired if someone is aware of your disability.  If you're not working, it is hard to pay your way.  The vast majority of people feel better about themselves if they are able to contribute in some way.  I'm going to keep working as long as I can.  I am also going to do everything I need to do to keep being able to walk.  Along the way, I will have people accuse me of wearing braces I don't need and lying about surgeries. I will have people laugh about some aspects of my disability.  I will have ignorant people lecture me that if I only did x, y or z all of my problems would go away.  I'll just let it roll off my back and keep going.  That's the only thing I can do. 

There is a famous quote from Socrates, of all people, complaining about the younger generation and how lazy and unmotivated they were and despairing about the future.  I'm pretty low tech myself, but I'll use it when necessary.  I only use my cell phone when I'm in the car and traveling alone.  Otherwise it's all land line.  I do use the computer all the time for email and reference material. Don't tweet, instagram or snapchat. I've begun actually punching in the phone numbers of the people I call instead of using speed dial.  And I bought a rotary phone on line and use it sometimes because I love the feel and sound of it when I dial.  I use technology when I need it or when it pleases me to do so.

[Ilovemylabs]

yesterday, my daughter must have climbed the hill over and over all day (telephone signal) because we texted off and on all day. She asked about the board meeting, and provided some information I didn't know (like the 2 board members listening in on computers but keeping silent). We had what I considered to be a good talk about it; why I went, what I wanted to accomplish, my sense of pride for doing it. She wasn't negative at all. Yesterday.

Today, the very first thing I got was a long, lengthy BLAST FROM HELL. I read it, read it again. Put it down for an hour,myriad again. I'm telling you, it was a cannon blast. She even covered things that I had nothing to do with! I wasn't sure (still am not) whether it was her, or maybe he'd gotten her phone. Regardless who was typing, i got the message. Butt out. She has always (since late high school) been able to talk to me in a way that makes me feel inferior. She's the superior Christian, she's the better person, she's the Mother Superior. [Oddly, my inferiority hasn't affected her acceptance of my help when needed, but it is a major block now that she's - you know - sacrificing and serving the Lord full time (and I'm...not).] I answered something like this "Wow. I tried to answer you from my heart, as you spoke, but everything I said sounds like I'm trying to fight, and I'm not. So. Ok. Good morning to you, too, sunshine". Then I cried for a long time.

Also, Saturday, on FB, he said something like "we sure wish we could afford that motorcycle we know of for $300, it would be a major help to us." And PRESTO, the Lord provided (or maybe it was Josh's fans) the funds and before sundown, he had the motorcycle. (And the fans had several moving tales of going to GET said motorcycle. I was moved to tears myself. But, sometimes I get teary when I gag). That worked so well for him, he posted another plea today, saying they'd been "led" to start a Bible study in their home and to feed the attendees as part of the ministry. They need for people to pledge what they can, $100 a week (combined) ought to do the trick. He's hit pay dirt - asking for donations couldn't get them there, but his faithful followers are willing to throw $10 or $20 in occasionally.

I have to google Razing Ruth, I don't know this story. I only wish my reports were fiction. I can provide the "giving" website if anyone feels like throwing some money in a hole.

Also, I got a little too close to an embroidery needle with 900 lbs of pressure behind it last night. Sewed completely through my finger. And what do you SAY at such a time??? Honestly, NOTHING. You suck in air to your toes, and by the time you can speak at all, you're past swearing.

HFC, here is my unsolicited advice.  Back off for while.  I know that will be very difficult because you love your daughter and grand kids.  Don't run to answer her calls, unless it is a true emergency.  In fact, don't answer every call.  By not saying anything, you are not saying anything negative that could set off your SIL.  Do not send money.  Let their group support them.  I speak from experience, but I will not go into all the trouble we had with my son.  He ended up sleeping on the street in San Diego for a time, which just about killed me.  Sometimes you just have to back away and let them learn hard lessons for themselves.  Always let her know you love her to pieces but that's IT.  Unless someone has been through some of these issues with a beloved child, you can't really know how hard it is to not reach out to help.  And let her know how much you are looking forward to the new grandchild that is expected.  I hate to say this, but there is something manipulative and passive/aggressive about her behavior.  Just my unprofessional and unsolicited opinion!!  She might wake up a bit when she sees you have other things to think about than her.  VERY difficult thing to do, as I say, but it might be the best thing.  Prayers and hugs to you from one who has been there.

[kalamac]

All this people using technology talk has put me in mind of this:

https://xkcd.com/1227/

and this:

https://xkcd.com/1289/

[Julia]

The thing I've noticed is there will always be complaints of "kids these days".  When I was young, we had teachers who complained that we were lazy and stupid.  Their generation was so superior.  My great grandmother used to complain about people using their cars to go places or, as she would say, "Did you take the machine?"   Later in her life, if we took the machine she would then figure out maybe we could run an errand or two for her or drop her by somewhere.  I've heard complaints about watching too much TV, playing video games, being home alone after school, being from single families, using microwaves, using cell phones, travelling too much; you get the idea.  IMO each generation complains about what is new or different for the next generation.  It's not actually better or worse; it's just different opportunities, new technologies, different lifestyles.  Society changes and we change with it.  

 

I would have had my nose in a book. I frequently did. And when I should have been working instead, I took a lot of (justified, in hindsight) crap for it. I'm pretty sure Thag the cavedweller got static from his mom for drawing buffalos when he was supposed to be chipping flint.

 

And I really, really don't see a connection between not being ok with people hanging out on social media instead of working when I have to pick up their slack and thinking people with disabilities shouldn't have jobs, so I'm going to assume that part was a completely unrelated thought. It sounds as if you have a lot to deal with, and I'm sorry you work with assholes.

[NextIteration]

I only gave in to a smartphone 3 1/2 years ago, knowing that once I did, I'd use the darned thing for everything.  And I did, true story.  Those apps are handy but I'm still pretty careful about disabling a lot of privacy things and turning off my "location services" unless I am actually using something that needs them.  For me it's not about the kids and technology, it's about giving up every personal aspect of my life to marketers and the NSA.  I'm not a fan.

 

bigskygirl, glad that you are starting to get answers, jellybeans, sorry to hear about your friend and HFC?  There just aren't any words, but you have my happy thoughts. :)

[NewDigs]

Thanks, it's my iPad, which I use all the time (getting ready to prep a recipe on it now). I will try a restart later today to see what that does. Thanks again!

iPad user here, and I see those font changes every now and then. Always a surprise. Someone asked about it in one of the "Dave" threads and it appeared it had nothing to do with PTV but everything to do with the user's operating system. I have found that mine does revert back to norm. Oddly, I don't seem to notice that, only the "downsize".

CHERRY I am sorry about your cat. We all have to do this, multiple times in our lives, and it always sucks.

Me too, Cherry Malotte! Such a difficult thing to do. They're family! Be well.

And HFC, so glad you are able to stay on top of and in the middle of your daughter's situation. I hope that offers you not only some peace but also a some resolve to keep on keeping on. Wow. Quite a story.

And sorry for everyone's trials and tribulations, of late. So difficult.

Edited September 22, 2015 by NewDigs

[3girlsforus]

I think the Prayer Closet is equivalent to a time-out. For a family so deep in faith why would they want prayer associated with punishment? Or do they always see it that way with all the restrictions they impose on themselves?

 

If I was religious, I would want it to bring me comfort & strength. Am I missing something here?

 

Well if you think about it that's exactly what they've done to Josh. He's been sent off to a 6 month prayer closet. There is no therapy or working on his issues, just a lot of prayer. So I guess it makes sense to a Duggar that when you are young and do something wrong you are sent to the prayer closet to pray. 

 

I believe in prayer. But no, I do not equate prayer with punishment in this way. This is a Duggar thing. 

[Jellybeans]

I think Jelly is referring too Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia, HFC.

 

Also like to add that if I shared different events of the last 5 years, I would send all your BS meters a bleeping. Adult life is not for sissies.

It is a childhood leukemia but she is an adult. This is her second relapse. it is called ALL leukemia. There are several types. She has helped me so much with the loss of my daughter, now this.

If the last few years of my life were neatly typed out, no one would believe me. I don't believe it myself.

[kokapetl]

Wrong thread.

I sleep with my phone under my pillow.

Edited September 22, 2015 by Kokapetl

[Muffyn]

And I really, really don't see a connection between not being ok with people hanging out on social media instead of working when I have to pick up their slack and thinking people with disabilities shouldn't have jobs, so I'm going to assume that part was a completely unrelated thought. 

Two different topics that were going on in this thread being addressed in one post.  The issues regarding disabilities had nothing to do with your posts.  They were addressed to a different conversation regarding picking up slack for people off for medical issues.

 

In regards to people constantly being on social media at work, drives me crazy too.  When I am in a leadership position, I address it.  I also see it as a new way for slackers to be slackers.  Over my too damn long career I've worked with people who would read books at work, hidden under the work they were supposed to be doing, hide in the file room while doing nothing, spend all day chatting in the break room.  With the advent of computers and shared file systems, copy other people's work files and make minor changes without asking permission to use the base materials or checking for relevancy. There was also a woman who sat behind me and called her husband at least ten times a day and spoke baby talk the whole time.  When we re-stacked the office, I had her moved away from me.   

 

I had an acquaintance that I was linked to on facebook.  I had known her better 20 years ago.  She was always a terrible person to work with, coming in late and leaving early, hanging out at home when she was supposed to be driving, etc.  She was not working and her partner had a job.  They would contact each other on FB on average 30 times a day.  When she was looking for work, she kept getting rejected for jobs.  Why?  People would look her up on FB and see this behavior.  She finally found a short-term job with chance for permanent placement.  She was let go early.  Also her partner got reprimanded at work for spending too much time on social media and they blocked access to FB and moved her office to an area of the building with bad cell reception.   

 

The thing is, I don't see this behavior in most people, just some.  And the behavior has always been there; it is just a new medium through which it is expressed.  For some people newer to the workforce, there is a learning curve during which they need to understand that your phone is not for fun during the workday and unless text messages are critical they can wait.

 

With all of that said, I was not meaning to insult you or to say that your point was not well taken.  I was not addressing your point.  I was responding to different posters. 

Edited September 22, 2015 by Muffyn

[Happyfatchick]

I think at this point I would back off of texting, calling - all of it for awhile, because you are going to drive yourself nutty.  I'd bet though that the blast came from the SIL.  If she gets to the point where she needs you she will let you know.  

 

I think you guys are right.  I haven't heard from her today at all, but I will eventually.  My work has suffered with all this worrying about everything, I actually had a job rejected for the FIRST TIME EVER last week.  Sewed my own finger because of distraction and these machines BITE!!!   (NEVER did that before in all these years!).  Ran out of white embroidery thread.  (WHITE EMBROIDERY THREAD, are you KIDDING ME???  I do this for a LIVING!!!  Who DOES that???  WHITE THREAD!!!)  Working on the do-over now.   I'm sure my internal organs are doing battle as well.  You guys have been so sweet and so supportive (although I was a little disappointed no one offered Cinderella bandaids - SLACKERS!).  I'm going for an o/n trip with my other grands to Chattanooga Thursday.  Not a big deal, but I need a break.  And the first week of October is our annual trip to Tybee Island/Savannah.  So relaxation is at the end of the tunnel.  YAY!!!  I promise - no "yuck" news for awhile.  I'm connecting with my inner self who loves a good story and who's tired of stress.  that's my story and i'm sticking to it.

 

You know, i'm on a pc right now, but usually use the ipad.  When I'm on here, I miss the ipad doing my thinking for me.  I actually have to "look" for apostrophies and remember to capatilize.  I didn't realize I'd gotten so lazy until right now.   However (since I fully intend to return to the ipad) I'm going to say it's "technologically advanced convenience" that compels me to go there, and not laziness.  That's also my story...

[emma675]

If I'm honest, I sometimes find it easier to talk about problems with strangers than I do with "real life" friends and family. I hate being the center of attention and I hate being seen as not as capable because I have a few diseases, so it's easier for me to vent online. But I'm a Cancer, it's how we do. I love taking care of others but I'm horrible at letting others take care of me. Drives my mom crazy.

 

bigskygirl, that's awesome that you've got a medical game plan! Sometimes just having things mapped out takes some of the anxiety away. Definitely make sure they are checking your Free T3 and Free T4 on your thyroid labs; don't let them just test the TSH (that's pretty much irrelevant for people like us without a working thyroid). I do labs tomorrow and I'm interested to see if my med changes are helping things.

 

I saw my ENT surgeon today (who is so super cute and I would be all over him if he weren't married with kids, sigh) and he thinks my lump is definitely a lymph node. He doesn't think it's cancer or a cyst, so he's having me do a 10 day course of antibiotics first. If it's still there after that, we'll do a needle biopsy and then see if it needs surgical removal. We were joking that I've already got a thyroid surgery scar, so he's got a great starting point if it comes down to surgery, lol.

[bigskygirl]

My thyroid specialist is great so I know the right tests will be ordered. He is a major improvement over the quack from Great Falls.

 

{{{HUGS}}} I hope the antibiotics work. And if you do not mind me asking, has your sense of smell become stronger since you have a non-functioning thyroid? I know my sense of smell is stronger and any type of smell/senses can make my allergies kick in. The allergies does help the chest pressure/pain and sore throat either.

[emma675]

I've always had a strong sense of smell, so I haven't noticed a change in that since surgery. One thing I have noticed since we finally got my medications dialed in correctly is that my lifelong allergies are going away. And the ringing I've had for years in my right ear is getting better, too. Both of these things didn't start getting better until I switched off of Synthroid onto a natural dessicated med (I'm on Westhroid). Apparently my body really needed the T3 that's not in Synthroid.

 

You can ask me anything about my thyroid journey! After 10 years of suffering, I educated myself to the point where I'm practically an endocrinologist with the medical degree, lol. I'm happy to share anything if it helps other people avoid what I went through. Thyroid problems are becoming more and more common, but sadly the majority of doctors don't know how to treat them or brush patients off. It's a problem.

[bigskygirl]

How true! The specialist I see know told me about some people he had talk with, and he said a few of them ended up in mental hospital because their hypo or hyperthyroidism symptoms got so bad the doctor(s) thought they had a serious mental illness. I had one doctor tell me I had situation depression/anxiety because I was stressed out over my husband's illness. Seriously! It took going in to be a possible kidney donor for my husband to find out I had endometriosis and Graves Disease. Endometriosis can lead to thyroid problems for some women.

[emma675]

Ditto! I had one doctor tell me once that maybe I needed to look into psychiatric help since there wasn't physically anything wrong with me. Turns out he didn't know how to interpret thyroid labs so he just brushed them aside. I often wish I could go back and ask him if he would say that same thing to a male patient. And I often wish I could go back and slap him right in the face, too.

[bigskygirl]

The specialist I see now actually apologized to me for not being diagnosed earlier, and for the crappy way the other doctors treated me. He also was not happy with the  nitwit specialist I was seeing out of town. Sometimes I want to drive to Great Falls and slap the crap out of him. I hope I will not see him tomorrow afternoon since he might be in the same clinic the sleep specialist is at. I heard from one of the lab techs when I went in for a blood test that one of the other techs had to quit her job because her thyroid problems cause some serious eye damage to the point she could not do her job. I hope she is seeing the new specialist and not the out of town moron. My eye doctor is also hypothyroid and is probably seeing the new specialist. She was having problems trying to find the right med dosage too.

[emma675]

Omg, that's horrible. I managed to avoid any eye involvement with my Graves, but I know people who have had to have orbital decompression surgery to help their eyes recover. 

I never got better until after surgery and after I switched off of Synthroid (which btw, is the most prescribed drug in the US). 

[bigskygirl]

I ended up with eye damage and light sensitivity a year after the radiation ablation treatment. Go figure.

[Itsnotreality]

I love that there could be a mini thyroid help board within this board (I have Hashimotos). I have new nodules on my thyroid as well. The ultrasounds show rapid growth and I have been suddenly falling asleep mid-day, so a CT scan is next. My doc thinks nodules possibly due to constant sinus issues although I've always had that and my research shows sinus issues common for thyroid peeps so not sure which is symptom and which is cause here. Thyroid definitely seems related to everything - since we moved a few years ago I have had a great family Dr. but no endo and I think I may need to seek one out, or will also find myself doing full time thyroid research! Feel for all who've had symptoms dismissed - very hard to manage in any way when you have those experiences :(

[bigskygirl]

My husband had his thyroid level checked when his blood sugar levels were going up. He also had a sinus scan at the local VA hospital because his doctor out there said sinus and allergies can cause a rise in blood sugar levels. I guess kidney transplant patients can be at a higher risk for thyroid problems. So far my blood sugar levels look good. My cholesterol levels were a little high in February so this is the reason why the nurse practitioner wanted me to have a blood test to check the levels. I have a family history of diabetes and premature heart disease so the nurse and cardiologist want to make sure I have no signs of diabetes.

[emma675]

Don't forget, hypothyroidism can cause high cholesterol numbers. My cholesterol was bad for years; 6 months after my thyroid was removed, my numbers were perfect.

 

And sorry to the other posters for hijacking this thread and turning it into a thyroid discussion group! When thyroid patients find each other we tend to gab, lol!

[bigskygirl]

Yes, sorry for hijacking the thread. After two and a half years of being sick and miserable, my poor body and mind does not know if it is coming or going.

[lookeyloo]

Didn't know I would find fellow thyroid sufferers here.  Long story short, I am now on T-4 (Levoxyl) and Compounded T-3.  And feel great.  A long arduous way of getting there though.

[GeeGolly]

This thread is for hijacking. No worries .... 

 

The more you know the better help you can get, and be better able to make informed decisions. 

[Liz Tudor]

Bless all of you going through thyroid issues. I've got 2 good friends, who were also co-workers, who were (finally) diagnosed with thyroid issues, so I went right along with them through their aggravating symptoms, unsympathetic doctors, false diagnoses, roller coaster medications, etc. Both are finally doing well. I'm with emma675, if men had this craziness to deal with more often, doctors would be better informed. Both of my friends had the old "it's in your head" line tossed at them. You just don't say that to a woman with wild mood swings.

On another subject, I brought this over from another thread: "Disney, love it or hate it, is also well known for having some of the top PR folks in the world. It's rare for them to make a misstep with the public." I don't know if any of you saw the mess they're in now, but it did make national news (this is from one of my local stations): http://www.firstcoastnews.com/story/news/local/consumer/on-your-side/2015/09/16/i-did-not-think-anyone-would-take-me-seriously/32524015/

They took a MAJOR misstep with the public on this one. Yes, he said something dumb, which he freely admitted to, but their actions were totally over the top. I'm interested to see what, if anything, they do for their heavy-handedness. He can petition them to change their decision. They are getting quite a bit of bad press, and not just in FL.

[Tabbygirl521]

Jesus first, family second, and Disney third?? I hope that was tongue-in-cheek! Pretty sure that Jesus would want him to love his fellow humans over a corporate empire. GEEZ.

[NewDigs]

Meth lab? Whose mind even goes there?

I love that they call each other Tinkerbelle and Grumpy.

And their last name is "Swindler".

[Jellybeans]

Didn't know I would find fellow thyroid sufferers here.  Long story short, I am now on T-4 (Levoxyl) and Compounded T-3.  And feel great.  A long arduous way of getting there though.

I am one too. Losing hair, losing my mind and a slight heart murmur. All because I need a lab test. Can't wait for my Dr. appt.

[lookeyloo]

Jellybeans- are you aware of thyroid advocate Mary Shomon? I subscribe to her newsletter. Google. Maybe there is some info on there for you.

[Liz Tudor]

Re: Mr. Swindler, the Banned from Disney Guy, I think he was being tongue in cheek to describe his devotion to Disney (I saw his interview). He was just exasperated with how long they were taking to answer his question about extending their stay, so he thought it would be a 15 min or so wait to find out. He admits he chose the wrong thing to compare the long wait to (something like "I could've painted the ceiling of the Sistene Chapel by now" would've been better). However, I think sending a SWAT team to a family's hotel room in the middle of the night, kicking them out, and banning the dad from parks for LIFE was NOT the way to handle the situation. They threw the baby out with the bathwater. If they were really concerned about drug making (yeah, 'cause meth makers always advertise what they're doing), they could've sent regular police during the day to check it out. Disney relies on FL resident business for the off season, and the poor handling of this has a lot of people wondering about the Mousetrap's management.

Edited September 23, 2015 by Liz Tudor