Small Talk: The Prayer Closet

[JoanArc]

More info http://blogs.bromium.com/2012/10/12/above-all-else/

I can't make it a link, I'm using my iPad, sorry!

[Julia]

As I understand it (and I may well not), a shabbos elevator comes from a prohibition which says that people observing the halachic laws may not light a fire on the sabbath. Some rabbi decided that using electricity constitutes lighting a fire, which means that no-one can use electricity if they have to trigger its use on the sabbath. They can, however, set the elevators in the buildings they live in to move constantly between Friday and Sunday.

There is, however, an out clause, called a shabbat goy. A shabbat goy is someone who does not observe the same prohibitions as an observant jew, and who can carry out tasks which are forbidden on the sabbath.

Other than that, I got nothing.

Edited August 22, 2015 by Julia

[JoanArc]

The toilet paper blows my mind. I've got a lot to learn.

[Muffyn]

If you are being really observant, a shabbat goy can do things for you but you can't ask them to.  So you can take a regular elevator but you cannot push the buttons or ask someone else to push the buttons but you can get on if the doors open and hope someone pushes the button you want.  Or you can do what a friend's mother does when her more-religiously stringent daughter visits, get on the elevator with others and make comments like "I hear there's a really nice floral arrangement on the 22nd floor" or "the 22nd floor was just remodeled.  If you want to see the changes, maybe we could stop there."  These hints usually are enough to have someone else on the elevator push 22 for them.  When my friend's sister was in town he invited me to dinner knowing I would take care of some of the things that they weren't supposed to do.  So light switches, getting people up and down the elevator (I made many silly excuses to go to the lobby), using the food processor, grinding coffee beans, all my jobs.  

[HundFan]

These shabbat restrictions and modern work-arounds are absolutely fascinating! I have so many Jewish friends (I really do!), but I have never heard of a shabbas elevator or the no tearing paper rule. I guess everyone I know is Reform.

[lookeyloo]

These shabbat restrictions and modern work-arounds are absolutely fascinating! I have so many Jewish friends (I really do!), but I have never heard of a shabbas elevator or the no tearing paper rule. I guess everyone I know is Reform.

Yes, indeed.  There are many like me, who identify as Jewish, but are not observant.  I wouldn't even say I was Reform.  I'm just Jewish.

[kathe5133]

But isn't that sort of cheating? They may not push the buttons, but if they are on the elevator they are using electricity to get from one floor to the other. But I guess in this modern world there has to be some way to adjust. I lived in NYC for years. I can tell a tschatski from schmutz, but never heard of this!

[msblossom]

I worked for a Jewish family owned jewelery company several years ago and about 1/2 the staff were Jewish also, it was really interesting and I enjoyed the culture of it -- a couple of them didn't work on Friday evenings thru Saturday, which worked out great for me because I could usually take every Sunday off. I used to carpool to work 3 or 4 times a week for a couple years with an older Jewish man who became a sort of grandpa to me, he had the most hilarious inappropriate sense of humor, which I adored. He was such a fascinating character -- he was fluent in Russian, Mandarin Chinese, and German, which really worked to his advantage because living on the Pacific Rim we had many customers in that demographic and his sales were phenomenal each month. I recently found out he passed away earlier this year.

[lookeyloo]

But isn't that sort of cheating? They may not push the buttons, but if they are on the elevator they are using electricity to get from one floor to the other. But I guess in this modern world there has to be some way to adjust. I lived in NYC for years. I can tell a tschatski from schmutz, but never heard of this!

I have an orthodox cousin and I've asked her this. Mind you - it is her opinion and interpretation only - but she tells me that her family has to do what they can to live in the modern world. They are strictly kosher at home but their synagogue isn't walkable so they drive. They try to only eat in kosher restaurants. When away from home they try to be careful of what they eat where. Of course a strictly kosher person wouldn't even make those accommodations.

Interesting read is "A Year of Living Biblically" by AJ Jacobs.

[kathe5133]

I find religious rituals so interesting. I was raised Catholic and that faith is full of traditional rituals. How difficult it must be to "keep kosher" in this modern world. I admire the tenacity.

[Wellfleet]

I worked for a Jewish family owned jewelery company several years ago and about 1/2 the staff were Jewish also, it was really interesting and I enjoyed the culture of it -- a couple of them didn't work on Friday evenings thru Saturday, which worked out great for me because I could usually take every Sunday off. I used to carpool to work 3 or 4 times a week for a couple years with an older Jewish man who became a sort of grandpa to me, he had the most hilarious inappropriate sense of humor, which I adored. He was such a fascinating character -- he was fluent in Russian, Mandarin Chinese, and German, which really worked to his advantage because living on the Pacific Rim we had many customers in that demographic and his sales were phenomenal each month. I recently found out he passed away earlier this year.

 

Great story. And I think that particular sense of humor might be in their DNA. One of my best friends going back to high school and earlier is Jewish - a doctor living in Michigan now [in fact, her Dad was my doctor when I was a kid] and her grandmother lived with her family. When I got to be old enough to understand. I got the biggest charge from her Grandma and the hilariously-dry comments she'd make all the time, usually when her daughter, my friend's mom, was out of the room. She was a peach of a lady who helped me learn to value and appreciate older people - and I miss her still.

Edited August 22, 2015 by Wellfleet

[Ilovemylabs]

I have an orthodox cousin and I've asked her this. Mind you - it is her opinion and interpretation only - but she tells me that her family has to do what they can to live in the modern world. They are strictly kosher at home but their synagogue isn't walkable so they drive. They try to only eat in kosher restaurants. When away from home they try to be careful of what they eat where. Of course a strictly kosher person wouldn't even make those accommodations.

Interesting read is "A Year of Living Biblically" by AJ Jacobs.

I absolutely loved that book!  By the way, the Amish have many restrictions and each particular sect seems to have different interpretations of what they may or may not do.  They usually have no electricity but can have propane stove and refrigerators.  I was told that electric lines connect them to the outside world, which they don't want.  Some of the strictest won't even allow buttons. The women's dresses are closed with straight pins (OUCH!).  Some allow buttons but no zippers.  When we took Amtrak from Chicago to Tucson there were lots of Amish on board, because they can't own cars or drive.  The restrictions seem to vary from place to place.

[JenCarroll]

But isn't that sort of cheating? They may not push the buttons, but if they are on the elevator they are using electricity to get from one floor to the other. But I guess in this modern world there has to be some way to adjust. I lived in NYC for years. I can tell a tschatski from schmutz, but never heard of this!

Well, the commandment is you can't light a fire, because that's work. Nothing says you can't sit near one for the warmth. Engaging electricity is considered lighting a fire. So, hey, you didn't push the button, that elevator was going to stop on every floor whether you got on it or not. Problem solved! Of course, certain groups and lots of individuals have differing views about it. Personally, I just try to avoid the shabbos elevators; they stop on every. Single. Floor. So slow...

:-)

Edited August 22, 2015 by JenCarroll

[Muffyn]

And suddenly "We didn't start the fire" is in my head. 

[Ilovemylabs]

OK I just have to put this out there.  I am a Christian with pretty conservative values.  It distresses me when others paint all Christians ( or even all Fundamentalists) with the same brush.  I respect other people's rights to have their more liberal/progressive opinions.  I really do!  But sometimes the comments made about Christianity/God/Jesus are pretty disrespectful and, in some cases, hurtful to me.   Please remember that there are all kinds of people on this forum.  I am not trying to scold anyone, just remind us all to be respectful of others beliefs.  Thanks!

[GeeGolly]

ilovemylabs, if I have said anything hurtful, please accept my apology. I try and be mindful of different beliefs, and I don't intend to be disrespectful of other posters.

[Ilovemylabs]

ilovemylabs, if I have said anything hurtful, please accept my apology. I try and be mindful of different beliefs, and I don't intend to be disrespectful of other posters.

GeeGolly, thank you, sweetie, but my post was not directed at anyone in particular.  I never even make a note of those names, just the sentiments expressed.  I really do not care what one's beliefs are and I, too, try to be respectful.  It's just that with all this recent stuff, some people who would normally be a little more discrete seem to be getting carried away. 

[Readalot]

oooooh NOOOOOOOO!!!!!! You are LIVING my biggest fear! I am so so sorry you have to deal with this. Life suuuuucks the big one sometimes (and this qualifies). What I've learned is exactly what you're doing to keep yourself as mentally alert as possible. Crossword puzzles, word games, sudoku, scrabble - anything that makes you stretch. Do keep wearing your appliance at night, even if it drives you crazy. Sleep apnea (well, YOU know) starves the brain of oxygen. Oh Good Lord, I want to hold your hand!!! O.M.G., I HATE THIS DISEASE!!!!!

Do you have children?

ETA: my daughter (an RN) was reading up on memory loss/Alzheimer's a couple years ago, and she gave me lists of things my mom should EAT that supposedly stimulate your brain. Fish, I remember, and some other things that you can find on the Internet. And also some things you should avoid. Also, there's a tendency to draw down, and avoid stimulation. But she says stimulation is GOOD for you, because it forces you to be alert. (She suggested I take my mom to Six Flags...but I declined).

sorry for the late responses, my stress level is higher than usual which is kicking my untreated ADD into overdrive (can not do stimulants). yes I have two daughters 7 and 17. Every task I swear I either forget to do it or I can't complete it because I can't focus it. It does cause quite a problem within my immediate family. I mean I can't stand it myself so I really can't blame others. But when my hubby or teen forgets something and I can tell they are in complete panic mode sometimes I gently remind them that is how I feel about 15 times a day. It's so exhausting! Sometimes I feel my family would be better offwithout me (no I'm not suicidal). I just think they need a break from my madness and I need a break from feeling like I'm letting them down on a daily basis. I hold five volunteer positions during the school year and I am self employed so I do keep busy. Thanks for listening!

[Readalot]

<p>

Readalot, can't get you off my mind.

• ​You know you are doing memory tricks the pros teach, for big bucks, right? All by yourself, whatever works, be it noun, consonant, or remembering that Floyd has roids, or whatever. I used to teach college and had a notepad that I used to write the name and something stupid next to it so I would remember them. I would just die if anyone ever saw the notepad. But it worked.
• I don't believe in the validity of most of the memory tests medical personnel give. The simple who are you, what day of the week is it, the date, year, when you enter the ER become crap. My husband got tired of it and would give nonsense answers after awhile. He was tired of the game and being treated like an idiot. I told ER docs, and of course they knew better. But I didn't know the day of the week or date myself half the time, good I wasn't asked, because I had no particular need to know. I only knew it was a day since I last got him out of the hospital and now here we were in the ER again. Whether it was Tues or WEdnesday was beside the point. I was tired.
• I ace neurologists. Also shrinks. Have a good time because they at least have an IQ and are fast responders. Social workers and med personnel at my house asking me questions about my finances are a different deal altogether. I'm hostile.
• The test in office where they give you 4 unrelated words and tell you to remember them and then have a conversation with you and suddenly change the subject and ask what the 4 words were are unfair and show nothing. They are insulting. The patient has tried to be nice and have a conversation and all of a sudden they are aware they were tricked and betrayed. I won't play the game, and say so. They can't do the test with me, I won't allow it.
• You don't forget things because your brain is bad, but because you have so much there and there is so much to keep up with as time goes by.
• I have a form of face blindness. I likely will never hook up your face and name if I don't have something else to go by. Like my notepad with sometimes vile notes or how you walk or how you speak. This is not new. Always been like this.
• Brain diseases are awful, and my husband spent so much time in rehab centers where patients down the hall screamed all night. That was valid. When I was in hospital for a long time, I was thankful I didn't have them for roommates. But I just know that many cases are diagnosed as Alzheimers that are not. And with the money in the system, with better diagnosis, there should be more help. But the first key is proper diagnosis. And diagnosis of any kind is pathetic.
• Please don't think of minor things as a disease process. Please.
• I have no family. It scares me. I don't ever want a retirement/rest home. I don't want to assign my medical decisions or medicines to anybody else, which you have to do. If I have a disease that requires that total turnover of self, I want an at home, pay under the table because I don't want an official service, attendant so I can cease taking meds that keep me alive. Assuming that I have such meds. Unfortunately you can be miserable without having anything that kills you.
• I'm hoping to eventually move to a retirement community where they have intellectual, political, science clubs and some transportation so I don't have to drive all the time. And somebody who will notice if I die.
• I do have one sister, who is so awful to me that I want to set up a foundation to do the works I want done rather than give her more than what it will costs for her to dispose of my stuff. I'll pay for a job done. That's all. And say $10,000 to take care of my dog. She is a shit to me, but she really likes my dog.
• Readalot, you write too well to have big problems now. You will be ok. You can't rock like you do now and be mindless. Be well, act well. Keep rocking out.

mickspicks, (((hugs))) thank you for taking the time to post this, it means a lot to me. The 15 or so tests my neuropsychologist gave me was three visits over three weeks, I think to compensate if I was having a bad day. Unfortunately the final result only confirmed what I was feeling. Since its been 10 years since these tests I'm curious and scared to take them again. Do not want to see that my IQ slipped another 13 points lol. I think I will push for it within the next year. I need to know where I am headed before it is too late. - your retirement home goals sounds like a place I'd like to live at. But only if they have talent shows where I can showcase my love for 80's bands. I already have an Oingo Boingo skit planned out. :-). - in the meanwhile, don't ever forget you have a virtual family here. Take care!

Readalot, I am sorry you are dealing with this. It has to be scary.

thank you muffyn. Some days are just better than others

READALOT, so very sorry. I hope when you do return to the doctor they can give you some answers, but more importantly, some help. Sending many ff hugs.

. I will take them, thank you!

Readalot time is on your side. This area of medicine is being studied with intensity right now. My heart goes out to you. Warm & fuzzies traveling through the interwebs as I type.

thsnk you and I hope so, I need all the time I can get. I will be 58 when our youngest graduates high school. I really want to be present mentally for that!

My husband has face blindness. Can't pick people out without some context, even people he knows very well. One time my sister ran into him at the grocery store, and she was all offended because he didn't greet her. I was like, "Well, if YOU said hello, then he'd know who you were." He has actually failed to recognize ME a time or two, when he wasn't expecting me to be there; I don't know what Sis was so pissy about!

It's a neurological oddity, but it's not a sign of stupidity (DH has a Ph.D) and its not a precursor of dementia. It can be a little embarrassing, although DH is way past being embarrassed about it. We're human beings, we all have our things.

. True, we all have our things! I don't have face blindness, at least not yet. I recognize everyone. Just dont know their name for the life of me. Ugh.

Readalot, sending you best wishes. This is, as Mick's Picks has said, a subject that's been and being researched intensively so I'm holding on to hope that we'll see more and more new developments in treatment and even prevention. And as has also been noted, you're writing at a high standard.

Thank you, I will take that compliment :-). My aunt who developed this in her mid 40's? I think I am further along with symptoms than she is at the same age. Hoping too that major developments are around the corner.

[Readalot]

Aww, I totally agree with you that your grandma was blessing your BF/future husband.

I had a similar experience with my grandma. She was the first person in my family to meet my then-GF, now-wife, and she LOVED her. When Grandma started to show signs of dementia, she got really worried she wouldn't live to see us get married. She started asking us when we were planning to get married, and we would explain we still needed more time. When the dementia really took hold, we would be visiting her and she would just interrupt whatever we were discussing to say "WHEN?"

Fast forward to when she had a stroke and was dying; we went to visit her and to relieve my parents from their bedside vigil for an hour or so. Grandma had been quiet all morning and she suddenly opened her eyes, looked at me and asked where my GF was. So GF spoke up and said "I'm over here, Grandma". Grandma rolled over, pulled her diamond ring off her finger, and handed to my GF. It was the last time we saw her somewhat coherent, and we knew it was her way of saying "whenever you get married, I am making damn sure some part of me is there, so here's the ring, get to it."

I miss Grandma to this day, and I love telling that story. Grandma was 93 when she died, and she loved me, loved my GF, and would have taken on anyone, anywhere, who ever gave us trouble for being a same-sex couple. She was awesome.

(Even though the dementia made her paranoid, which led to some funny moments like when she called my dad to tell him there was a front page story in the paper about her, or the time we walked by the out of order elevators in her assisted living facility and she casually told us "oh, those aren't broken, they just want you to think they are.")

I had an amazing grandfather like your grandma, he was everything to me. He died in 2001 right before 9/11. (I have to say that if he was alive at 9/11, that would of killed him. He was a WW2 vet (but that's another story)). I was so angry when I figured out that I could not remember his voice years after he died. Two weeks ago he randomly appeared in a dream. He presented himself to be with arms outstretched to me and said "it's grandpa" IN HIS REAL VOICE. I REMEMBERED HIS VOICE! In my dream I turned around and told my husband "it's him, it's grandpa!" Then I looked back and he was walking away from me and I woke up. It was the best and worst dream ever. I cried for an hour like I did when he died I was so mad at my brain for remembering his voice and putting me through the grief again. After my husband was able to make out what I was saying he said I should be happy that I got to spend another minute with him. Ugh crying again now. QUESTIONFEAR, I am so grateful we were able to have these Angels in our life!

Readalot, I'm so sorry you are going through this. I wish you all the best and an extremely slow progression.

Now I'm getting ads on face shape analysis thanks to the face blindness discussion. :)

thank you and sorry!

[Readalot]

Wanderwoman: I am truly sorry that your husband is acting like a real a-hole, and I hope that he will right this ship and turn it around. Whatever happened to "For better or worse"? I hate that you are being abandoned in light of everything you are going through and I wish I could pull up a chair and just listen to you talk and offer my support without giving advice. Sucks.

Readalot and Everyone who fears Alzheimer's and senile dementia: My heart goes out to you as well. This is my biggest fear also. I have noticed some memory issues with me that scare me, and I also have ADD. I don't know if this runs in my family because I was adopted as an infant, but I have a dear, dear aunt who passed away about 10 years ago and she had Alzheimer's and I watched how it robbed her of her golden years. I get emotional thinking about it. She was an incredible woman and a force to be reckoned with. She and my uncle put me through college and provided me with love and support when my parents abandoned me. She was smart, funny and generous. She was a high school principal, had a PhD, was an international speaker, and even ran for mayor in a major west coast city and lost by less than a thousand votes! She was humble and never got too big for her britches. Man, I miss her!

It runs in her family and she knew she would get it, her mother, aunt, and her 2 older sisters all had it. My cousin, her only daughter, was tested and she indeed will go the way her mother, grandmother and 2 aunts all did.

The Notebook may be my all-time favorite movie, in the theater with my husband I wept and held in those deep sobs you get that once you start you don't know how to stop with the snot and everything. Mr. Blossom squeezed my hand tight and we got to the car and we both sobbed, okay *I* sobbed, he cried a little, then made a promise that I hope he'll keep. I know that sounds cheesy, but it was one of those moments, you know?

Have any of you read any of Dr. Daniel Amen's books, like "Change Your Brain, Change Your Life" and "Change Your Brain, Change Your Body" & "Heal ADD"? He advocates a lot of holistic things you can do to stave off Alzheimer's. He shills his seminars and books on PBS, whatever, but he gives really great recommendations that actually work and he's sorta inspiring. I have a couple of his books.

what a life your aunt had! - I had that moment with my husband after we saw "Still Alice" although at first he thought I took him to see it because I was trying to give him a message that he had memory issues lol. I will take a look at those books, thank you for posting them!

[Love2dance]

READALOT.....Sending more hugs and hopeful thoughts your way. And hoping your stress can be relieved. Of course, I don't know your details, but five volunteer jobs, working from home, and raising a family sounds like a LOT. Maybe too much? How lovely to be visited by your grandpa in your dream. Even though it also made you miss him again.

[Happyfatchick]

READALOT!!!!! I am so happy you posted! I think of you every.Single.Day. Please know that you are surrounded by friends that care so much about you. How difficult this must be for you. My moms doc (though I can't stand him, I keep quoting him! I think if his delivery was better, I would completely appreciate everything he says) told me to quit spinning my wheels with Mama. He said (I so wish I could say this with his Middle East accent) "we humans, we are hard wired for improvement and upward momentum. When we teach a child their ABC's, or times tables, it is precisely because TOMORROW, we will build on that knowledge. You cannot improve your mothers memory. You cannot teach her or expect her to hold onto the building blocks. There is no productivity left in this patient". (Grrrr, I can't stand him!). But even though he states it so plainly, and my own head understands exactly what he's saying, he's right: I am hard wired for improvement. I sound mean and cruel to MYSELF when I say something that indicates how absent she is.

It is a knife in the heart when we see that in a loved one - how much worse it has to be for the person to see it coming! Here's all I have (and I realize this sounds like a gloomy post...): FIGHT IT!!!!! Fight like a girl!!! FIGHT LIKE HELL!!!

I pray your family comes to terms with what you struggle with daily - that they find ways to support and help you fight without making you feel a burden, or a lesser person. FIGHT IT!!! Fight like a tiger.

Btw, I'm pretty sure your IQ is intact for a long time coming! You sound great to me!

Also: I'm ADD as well. My family jokes all the time that I'll be 10 years into dementia before anybody figures it out. (Pouty face!)

[MonicaM]

thsnk you and I hope so, I need all the time I can get. I will be 58 when our youngest graduates high school. I really want to be present mentally for that!

 

I'll be 59 when my youngest graduates from high school this next spring (2016).  Even without any known physical or mental issues, i'm finding that a somewhat vulnerable and scary place.  I'm only telling you this so that you can be assured that your concerns are shared by many who are a bit older than the average parent.

 

I don't post a lot, but I've started reading here regularly.  As much as I enjoy the Duggar snark, I find it encouraging that people are so willing to share and support other members of the forum.   

[DoctorWhovian]

The best Jewish loop hole is the eruv, hands down. (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eruv)

[kalamac]

My niece got engaged this weekend. She's only 21, but both she and her fiancé are in University, have jobs, and have been living together out of their parents homes for over a year.

She's miles ahead of the Duggar girls in terms of maturity.

[JenCarroll]

Readalot The research being done these days is amazing; I was actually just reading about it recently in my alumni magazine. So, there's hope to hold onto. One thing I would do (have done, actually) is write some letters and/or make recordings for your children to have in the future. Just in case the worst should happen -- and that could happen for any of us. It might help give you some peace of mind.

Sending all the virtual support in the world your way.

[NextIteration]

(((READALOT)))).

 

My heat goes out to you all the while my mind says FIGHT THIS GIRL!

 

Wishing you the best and offering a shoulder for whatever you may need.

[Ilovemylabs]

I have an idea for a new reality show.  It came to me after watching a few episodes of "Escaping Polygamy".  How about "Escaping Gothardism".  Probably someone smarter than I am came up with this already, but the similarities are there.  The women escaping polygamy need a support system to get them used to how to dress, get an education, and get a job.  They also need moral support and assurances that they are not going to Hell because they left the order.  What do you think?

Edited August 23, 2015 by Ilovemylabs

[Happyfatchick]

I think it has potential, but in order to make it work, the original fundy family would have to agree to be filmed. I think most of them (the ones with good sense) would say NO to that deal. They wouldn't want to deal with the scrutiny. Maybe they would, who knows? I don't think you'd get a clear picture of where the "escapees" are NOW, without seeing the roots they shed. That's why there aren't any "real" shows about Amish breakouts. The original "old order" families would never agree to have their lives interrupted. They would be tremendously"put out" to have cameras following them around or someone trying to interview them. They don't proselytize, so they couldn't be swayed to be filmed with that premise, and money doesn't really have the same value to them. They are mostly self sufficient.

There are the glitz queens (Sierra and the Rodriguez mom come to mind) who would happily be filmed, but wouldn't show the real, average world of the fundy system. I'd like to see it, yes (especially if one of the leavers-of-the- faith was Jana. I'd just about kill to see Jana and John David pack up and set off to a life of their choice.)

Speaking of polygamy, I thought the polygamy show had been canned. I know there's 2, so maybe one of them is done. I saw one of them advertised in a chain with the little people where the little-littles are still little kids.

Edited August 23, 2015 by Happyfatchick

[Ilovemylabs]

I think it has potential, but in order to make it work, the original funny family would have to agree to be filmed. I think most of them (the ones with good sense) would say NO to that deal. They wouldn't want to deal with the scrutiny. Maybe they would, who knows? I don't think you'd get a clear picture of where the "escapees" are NOW, without seeing the roots they shed. They'd why there aren't any "real" shows about Amish breakouts. The original "old order" families would never agree to have their lives interrupted. They would be tremendously"put out" to have cameras following them around or someone trying to interview them. They don't proselytize, so they couldn't be swayed to be filmed with that premise, and money doesn't really have the same value to them. They are mostly self sufficient.

There are the glitz queens (Sierra and the Rodriguez mom come to mind) who would happily be filmed, but wouldn't show the real, average world of the fundy system. I'd like to see it, yes (especially if one of the leavers-of-the- faith was Jana. I'd just about kill to see Jana and John David pack up and set off to a life of their choice.

Speaking of polygamy, I thought the polygamy show had been canned. I know there's 2, so maybe one of them is done. I saw one of them advertised in a chain with the little people where the little-littles are still little kids.

Escaping Polygamy is a new show.  Sister wives will be back in the fall, I believe.

[NewDigs]

Escaping Polygamy according to Fox.

I'm not sure whether to say this show looks better than I thought it would, or, this show doesn't look as bad as I thought it would. Interesting.

Here's the Lifetime link but I really don't like their site. It seems hard to navigate but maybe I've got the mobile version and that's what's sucky.

[Julia]

There are the glitz queens (Sierra and the Rodriguez mom come to mind) who would happily be filmed, but wouldn't show the real, average world of the fundy system. I'd like to see it, yes (especially if one of the leavers-of-the- faith was Jana. I'd just about kill to see Jana and John David pack up and set off to a life of their choice.

 

I just don't think someone who was serious about a hardcore witnessing lifestyle would be willing to make the compromises. Part of having the show for the Duggars was toting their kids to things like this appearance (which they were dropped from because of Josh's issues coming out) promoting, among others, Kate "oh, lots, and lots of in vitro before the big divorce" Gosselin, Buddy "italian catholic guy from New Jersey" Valastro, Randy "won a prestigious national award for crossdressing" Fenoli and Monte "has a husband" Durham as family-friendly entertainment.

 

I can't imagine someone who was really determined to walk outside (what they view as) the corrupting influence of the world would be willing to do that.

Edited August 23, 2015 by Julia

[Happyfatchick]

How DO fundies view in-vitro? Is that a gigantic NO WAY??? But what if (hypotheticall) The Beautiful, Lovely, Graceful and Talented Erin Who's-Not-A-Bates-Anymore (or any girl as special as she) could not conceive, and she wanted a child more than more than more than ANYTHING in the world. Do the rules stand, or do we pray about it enough that we make it okay? I guess maybe she adopts?

[Julia]

The most common objection in evangelical circles seems to be the embryos which are produced knowing that a number will be stored indefinitely or destroyed (this guy, who's a prominent quiverfull, has that issue). The Catholic church is against it because of a whole other set of issues. Nobody seems to want to talk about it much, pretty much because (hypothetical) The Beautiful, Lovely, Graceful and Talented Erin Who's-Not-A-Bates-Anymore (or any girl as special as she), who is otherwise a good footsoldier in the fight for Life, seems to want to do it anyway.

Edited August 23, 2015 by Julia

[Ilovemylabs]

Escaping Polygamy according to Fox.

I'm not sure whether to say this show looks better than I thought it would, or, this show doesn't look as bad as I thought it would. Interesting.

Here's the Lifetime link but I really don't like their site. It seems hard to navigate but maybe I've got the mobile version and that's what's sucky.

Escaping Polygamy is OK.  Oddly enough, one of the escaped girls on the show was on Sister Wives explaining why she had escaped!  But it is always the same things.  Someone wants to leave, Arrangements are made and the people helping the escapee show up in the dead of night or at some time when no one else will be home to stop them.  They pack all their worldly belongings into trucks and cars and make the great escape.  Many of these girls/ladies are related.  Last week they freed someone from the Warren Jeffs cult and that was pretty interesting.

[Happyfatchick]

So...huh? The one girl escaped polygamy but was featured on the Sister Wives? She ran away from polygamy to run INTO polygamy??? And I thought Sister Wives was the one who got axed. Was it the other one - my five wives, maybe? Who was trying to set themselves up on YouTube?

[GeeGolly]

So...huh? The one girl escaped polygamy but was featured on the Sister Wives? She ran away from polygamy to run INTO polygamy??? And I thought Sister Wives was the one who got axed. Was it the other one - my five wives, maybe? Who was trying to set themselves up on YouTube?

Sister Wives is still on. Last season the 1st (& legal) wife divorced the husband so he could legally marry #4. Not sure how I would feel if I was #2 or 3.

[Absolom]

The one who escaped polygamy was on the show talking about the downside of polygamy.  She hadn't returned to polygamy.

[GeeGolly]

I gotta stop checking in on this forum. Every time I get up to do something productive, I say, let met check in on PTV. I know, I know, I have choices and consequences. ;)

[Love2dance]

GEEGOLLY......

I gotta stop checking in on this forum. Every time I get up to do something productive, I say, let met check in on PTV. I know, I know, I have choices and consequences. ;)

It IS addicting!!

Edited August 24, 2015 by Love2dance

[HundFan]

Does that mean that every time I visit this message board I'm helping Satan put another block in the wall he's building around my heart?

ETA: I tried to quote GeeGolly and Love2dance before writing the above, but something went wrong. I guess Satan is also building a wall around my posting skills - or at least my cut and paste skills.

Edited August 24, 2015 by HundFan

[JoanArc]

So Coke is kosher, but Pepsi isn't? I really learning all the rules. I'm considering becoming a messianic fake Jew, and wearing a star of David to work. Just to troll my 94 year old, intubated, dying patients, of course.

[lookeyloo]

So Coke is kosher, but Pepsi isn't? I really learning all the rules. I'm considering becoming a messianic fake Jew, and wearing a star of David to work. Just to troll my 94 year old, intubated, dying patients, of course.

http://blog.beveragesdirect.com/what-makes-a-soda-kosher/

One source according to Mr Google

[Happyfatchick]

With a little twisty smile on my face: both my sons work for THE major airline in Atlanta. The older one has worked his way up nicely and is doing quite well. The other is a Marine Reserve and did that first before the airline. He squeaked into Reservations (so far down the totem pole, it's about 3 feet under). Hated it. He managed to raise his position (still in Res) and still hated it. But a few weeks ago, he applied for a new position (same company). He bid against 200 people, and then got a second against 3 other qualified people. And got the job. Nice raise, M-F, personal work cubbie. Today was his first day in the new job. He came by after work (to steal office supplies to stock his own personal desk in his own personal cubbie). He's so CUTE!!!!! He was grinning from ear to ear. He gets to travel some with the job, and his first trip is already set. SOOOO EXCITED!!! I swear he was my HARDEST kid to push to adulthood (but at the same time, the least sneaky and the best moral code - how does THAT work?????). He's 21, owns a house, good job, baby on the way. I'll just be darned. I think the kid has potential after all!!! Woohoo!!!

Oh crud, I had to come back... When he applied to the company, his brother helped him get in. When he applied for the new position, he didn't tell the brother. I was screaming, "TELL HIM!!! He can help you!!!! TELL HIM!!!" But. He didn't want to. He wanted to pass or fail based on his own merit. So he didn't let big bro help, and he didn't drop his name in the interview. This makes him that much cuter, right??

Edited August 25, 2015 by Happyfatchick

[HundFan]

But when my hubby or teen forgets something and I can tell they are in complete panic mode sometimes I gently remind them that is how I feel about 15 times a day. It's so exhausting! Sometimes I feel my family would be better offwithout me (no I'm not suicidal). I just think they need a break from my madness and I need a break from feeling like I'm letting them down on a daily basis. 

 

You are not mad. You are not letting your family down. And you are not alone. I was diagnosed with adult ADHD at 44 (only after my daughter, who was also struggling with several LD's, got her own diagnosis). I constantly forget, misplace and lose things. I'm too distracted to be a good driver. (I was always nervous driving when my daughters were small and only managed to keep them safe by learning to hyper-focus behind the wheel.) And I talk so fast I sound like a dolphin when I listen to my messages on our home machine.

 

It is very tempting when - like you and me - your peg doesn't easily fit into society's hole. But please try to remember that we are only "different" - not "broken," - and I'd bet all the people close to you could list a hundred things they love about you that are traits directly tied to your having ADD (even though they may not have made this connection yet).

 

Someone once told me ADD/ADHD people had 20 files constantly open in their minds (as opposed to the 1-2 most people have to deal with). No wonder we're distracted with such a rich toy bin to choose from! No wonder we have more thoughts and more things to remember - and more cracks into which the details of daily life can sometimes disappear.

 

The Hindus believe people with ADD are old souls that might seem distracted to those with Western thinking, but are in fact just finishing their cycles of incarnation - and have many diverse details to attend to before they leave. It's a compliment, really. Sort of like all the stuff you have to take care of (the newspaper, the mail, the dog-sitter, etc.) before you leave for vacation.

 

If you need more cheerleading - or just some embarrassing stories from me that I promise will put whatever you think are your failings to shame - PM me. We are a secret but a widespread (and really fun!) club. Hugs.

[msblossom]

^^^ It definitely makes him cuter, Happy! Aw, he's got so much character and a lot of maturity for such a young guy. He's on his way, you should be really proud. :)

[Love2dance]

. When he applied for the new position, he didn't tell the brother. I was screaming, "TELL HIM!!! He can help you!!!! TELL HIM!!!" But. He didn't want to. He wanted to pass or fail based on his own merit. So he didn't let big bro help, and he didn't drop his name in the interview. This makes him that much cuter, right??

You must be so proud of them both, HAPPYFATCHICK. Good job, mama!

[Wellfleet]

With a little twisty smile on my face: both my sons work for THE major airline in Atlanta. The older one has worked his way up nicely and is doing quite well. The other is a Marine Reserve and did that first before the airline. He squeaked into Reservations (so far down the totem pole, it's about 3 feet under). Hated it. He managed to raise his position (still in Res) and still hated it. But a few weeks ago, he applied for a new position (same company). He bid against 200 people, and then got a second against 3 other qualified people. And got the job. Nice raise, M-F, personal work cubbie. Today was his first day in the new job. He came by after work (to steal office supplies to stock his own personal desk in his own personal cubbie). He's so CUTE!!!!! He was grinning from ear to ear. He gets to travel some with the job, and his first trip is already set. SOOOO EXCITED!!! I swear he was my HARDEST kid to push to adulthood (but at the same time, the least sneaky and the best moral code - how does THAT work?????). He's 21, owns a house, good job, baby on the way. I'll just be darned. I think the kid has potential after all!!! Woohoo!!!

Oh crud, I had to come back... When he applied to the company, his brother helped him get in. When he applied for the new position, he didn't tell the brother. I was screaming, "TELL HIM!!! He can help you!!!! TELL HIM!!!" But. He didn't want to. He wanted to pass or fail based on his own merit. So he didn't let big bro help, and he didn't drop his name in the interview. This makes him that much cuter, right??

 

Yes, it does, Happy! Way cuter. You should be - and I know you ARE - very proud. Now, for the rest of his life, he'll know he got it all by himself. How great is that?

[Love2dance]

Tomorrow I'm going on a long-planned visit to another city down the road, to meet a friend and see a special exhibit of paintings at their fine arts center.

SUZ AT LARGE, what a lovely memorial you have planned for your aunt. Enjoy your well-deserved visit to your friend's city. Edited August 25, 2015 by Love2dance