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Small Talk: The Prayer Closet


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I could just spit.  

 

When driving home from my vacation I got a call from my work about their new something something update, and how I would be e-mailed instructions on how to set up my work phone at home.  No dice, I programmed it, my IT guy gave me a new phone programmed, still would not give me access.  I called AT&T and it was a six hour fiasco.  Beware - they have a new policy that if you are trying to get tech help they will not agree to help you until you agree to a $15 charge every month for 12 months.  You have no choice but to accept.  However, I made the girl tell me that if they could not help me, I would get a refund and could discontinue the TechConnect or whatever they call it.  They couldn't help me, and I kept getting transferred and forwarded and calls would drop - it was a six hour nightmare.   The women I had on the phone were nasty pieces of work.  If I treated anybody like that in my customer service job I'd have been fired long ago.  Finally I got a nice even keeled guy to cancel the Tech fee and I am having a different internet provider installed later this week.  I will have to go into the office for a few days, but everyone that has this other internet server has no problems with updates.  Horrible, just horrible - I will keep my landline phone line only because my very elderly grandmother knows the phone number.  

 

And today - my crown fell out.  My old dentist put it in two or three years ago, and overcharged me as far as I was concerned.  It's not quite old enough for a replacement, but I'll have to call my new dentist and have it recemented when I can get in there.  

 

I know my problems are just simple bullshit things compared to most but sheesh...there are just some months were everything is totally fucked.   As much fun as my vacation was I can't wait for July to get over with!   

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I will keep my landline phone line only because my very elderly grandmother knows the phone number.

 

You might want to check other providers in your area - I'm pretty sure you can force them to transfer your phone number, and most companies will handle getting it transferred for you if you want to switch your service to them. You can almost certainly negotiate a better deal than you have now.

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Sometimes even so-called first world problems are really really frustrating and upsetting. Here in Ireland there is no such thing as unlimited broadband - not where we live. And no such thing as always reliable broadband. So at the end of the month (now) we're scrambling. People say very righteously that we should just stay off FB (and granted, I'm using it to post here!) but really, we forget how much now we use for Bluetooth and wireless and downloading from entertainment to real business. When we went "paperless" we meant we went to a broadband world. Cut that off and we are out more than cat pictures on FB.

So yeah, I get complaining about problems that make people roll their eyes. They'd whine too, I figure. :)

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6 hours on the phone with anyone I'm not sleeping with is 5.5 hours of hell. I would have been screaming, Cherry. I feel ya.

P.S. For the record, I'm not sleeping with anyone but the hubs, and the last time I was on the phone with him for 5.5 hours was...ummm... Never.

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CM that sucks. Could almost wipe out the vacation-ness.

 

I have daymares GEML, of the world coming to a stand still due to internet outages.

 

And HappyFC, your posts often make me happy.

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The kids are going to a special school that deals with all forms of abuse including exfundies. So I will not have to explain it to the oldest why as he is in 6th grade now and some of his classmates were in the same situations so he understands why he was homefooled. The youngest is in 1st grade so he only missed kindergarten.

 

Good news. One less thing on your plate. You have plenty enough to cope with as it is... :>)

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(edited)

I've really thought about doing the Magic Jack thing, because I could keep the phone number.  It's a shame because other than a couple of dips in the road I've enjoyed my DSL service.

 

ETA - 

 

I'm very happy for your grandkids SL - I bet they'll have a great time in school.  Especially the type of school it is it sounds like they'll be used to some of the bumps that the children encounter making transitions.  A whole new world of possibilities is going to open up for them, how exciting!  I always have said to my daughter that even if it's a bad or not so great experience, every day is for learning.  Even something simple - like with the ATT implosion it's led me to a new provider which is going to have better speeds.  Being in the office I get to socialize a bit and catch up with what some people are up to.  I also started dipping into a book I had bought on vacation, A Hell Of A War which is the second autobiography by Douglas Fairbanks Jr, and there's oodles of info in there about his WW2 experience.  Somewhere on the karma train, there's balance.     

Edited by CherryMalotte
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(edited)

Oh!!! And to add another neighborhood story: when my son deployed to Afghanistan after we'd been here about 8 months, I put a flier on all the mailboxes and asked them to come out and see him off. When he left my house, I'd tricked him into wearing his uni, so he was "dressed". Every single house, EVERY HOUSE had someone at the street with flags. One neighbor (our dogs play) had an entire Boy Scout troop standing at attention, and one elderly man at the end of the street (well into his 80's) was in full dress uni at attention with a flag. It was one of the most beautiful moments of my son's life. I still get a lump in my throat thinking of that day.

 

OMG. If this had happened to me, I'm fairly sure I'd still be crying. What a great story, and what a great memory to have... :>)

Edited by Wellfleet
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Cherry, that sucks. That really sucks. No way could I spend that long dealing with unhelpful tech people.

We've lived in our house for almost 2 years and we know the neighbors on both sides of us and the ones right across the street. That's it. Where we live it's too hot in summer and too cold in winter to be outside much so we really only have the chance to socialize outside with the neighborhood for a few months out of the year.

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So, I don't normally post but I do read this forum each day, sometimes multiple times a day. Just felt like I needed to post this-never sure what to do or say in these situations.

My sister was pregnant, just had a baby girl this past Wednesday. They are already home and doing great. A good friend of mine had her baby girl the same day. Just got word that she died very unexpectedly this morning. Not sure if it was SIDS or not. I'm not sure what to say or do. I work at the hospital that my friend delivered in. I may go in the morning and see if she is still inpatient. At least to offer support, even if I just sit with her.

It's such a shock since my sister is in the same situation and is doing absolutely fantastic. My heart breaks for my friend. We were even texting earlier this weekend because there was a HP marathon on ABC Family & she joked she was starting the baby early on the love for HP. We love HP, I even got the baby HP onesies. One said "it matters not what someone is born, but what they grow up to be" with a lightening bolt graphic.

Now it makes me terribly sad to think of my friend going home & seeing the onesie without her daughter. I can't even imagine going home without your child, seeing the nursery etc. I wouldn't wish it on anyone.

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Our labrador eats just about anything, if it hits the floor, it belongs to her.  She loves, loves, loves apple, carrot and chicken but she eats everything from chocolate cake to lettuce.  The only two things she has ever spat out are pills and a raw mushroom.  To give her medication we have to mush up a pill and hide it in a bowl of chicken mince and rice or shove it in her mouth and hold it closed until she swallows. 

 

Smart dog . :>) And your post made me think of a little framed card I bought for my sister the Christmas after she got her Golden Retriever puppy.  "I feel sorry for people who don't have dogs. I hear they actually have to pick up their own food if they drop it on the floor..." Grin.

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So, I don't normally post but I do read this forum each day, sometimes multiple times a day. Just felt like I needed to post this-never sure what to do or say in these situations.

My sister was pregnant, just had a baby girl this past Wednesday. They are already home and doing great. A good friend of mine had her baby girl the same day. Just got word that she died very unexpectedly this morning. Not sure if it was SIDS or not. I'm not sure what to say or do. I work at the hospital that my friend delivered in. I may go in the morning and see if she is still inpatient. At least to offer support, even if I just sit with her.

It's such a shock since my sister is in the same situation and is doing absolutely fantastic. My heart breaks for my friend. We were even texting earlier this weekend because there was a HP marathon on ABC Family & she joked she was starting the baby early on the love for HP. We love HP, I even got the baby HP onesies. One said "it matters not what someone is born, but what they grow up to be" with a lightening bolt graphic.

Now it makes me terribly sad to think of my friend going home & seeing the onesie without her daughter. I can't even imagine going home without your child, seeing the nursery etc. I wouldn't wish it on anyone.

 

My heart is breaking for your friend too. I've never had a baby or even been pregnant, but I still think it must be the worst thing that can happen to a woman, the loss of a child. Please tell her - for all of us - that there are many, many others who feel her pain and are holding her in their hearts at this time. Warmest virtual hugs...

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Wow, Bitter, that's so sad!!! We're all "wavers" in my 'hood. We've only been here 2 years, but when I'm out walking a mile from my own house (at the edge of a culdesac) the neighbors on that side stop and talk. (When I walk regularly, my beautiful and well behaved fur babies make people think they know me) If one of my literal neighbors drives by, they stop and we talk for as much as 30 minutes. We don't visit each other's homes (except for my next door people). You don't wave around here, pal, you get the stink eye and a reputation!

True story: on my mom's road, there's a string of houses that are my relatives on the left. On the right are non-related. In the middle (and this is rural, so the houses aren't close) is a smallish house where the people don't wave. They don't slash tires, don't steal, don't party all night, don't throw rocks or have hate signs in the yard. They just have the one transgression: they don't wave.

So a couple of us were in my moms last week, standing around the kitchen. Someone mentions that the guy at the "mean people's house" waved at them the other day. We were making jokes about how the guy was probably knocking a bug away from him and the cousin took it as a wave. Another family member walked in, and asked what we were talking about. I explained that cousin said that one guy waved at him the other day. She says, "Really? At the mean people house?"

Edited because English really is my first language

Oh!!! And to add another neighborhood story: when my son deployed to Afghanistan after we'd been here about 8 months, I put a flier on all the mailboxes and asked them to come out and see him off. When he left my house, I'd tricked him into wearing his uni, so he was "dressed". Every single house, EVERY HOUSE had someone at the street with flags. One neighbor (our dogs play) had an entire Boy Scout troop standing at attention, and one elderly man at the end of the street (well into his 80's) was in full dress uni at attention with a flag. It was one of the most beautiful moments of my son's life. I still get a lump in my throat thinking of that day.

Tears happy tears frist thing in the morning. God bless your son for his service so we can sleep soundly at night.  

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Please just go and be with her. If not at the hospital, then at her home. You don't have to know what to say- just please sit with her silently if she needs that, but don't let her be alone. She must be SO alone, if you know what I mean.

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So, I don't normally post but I do read this forum each day, sometimes multiple times a day. Just felt like I needed to post this-never sure what to do or say in these situations.

My sister was pregnant, just had a baby girl this past Wednesday. They are already home and doing great. A good friend of mine had her baby girl the same day. Just got word that she died very unexpectedly this morning. Not sure if it was SIDS or not. I'm not sure what to say or do. I work at the hospital that my friend delivered in. I may go in the morning and see if she is still inpatient. At least to offer support, even if I just sit with her.

It's such a shock since my sister is in the same situation and is doing absolutely fantastic. My heart breaks for my friend. We were even texting earlier this weekend because there was a HP marathon on ABC Family & she joked she was starting the baby early on the love for HP. We love HP, I even got the baby HP onesies. One said "it matters not what someone is born, but what they grow up to be" with a lightening bolt graphic.

Now it makes me terribly sad to think of my friend going home & seeing the onesie without her daughter. I can't even imagine going home without your child, seeing the nursery etc. I wouldn't wish it on anyone.

Sending ffhugs to you and your friend. no words .

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I have no words. That is quite literally my biggest fear. I check on both my daughters frequently throughout the night for my own peace of mind. I can't imagine what your friend must be going through. I agree- just be with her. She may not feel like talking and that's ok. And when she is ready to talk, be there to listen. I've heard from others that parents who lose their children (or miscarry) often feel isolated because once they are ready to talk, people shut the conversation down because it's awkward and they don't know what to say.

Hugs to you and your friend. I'm going to go squeeze my babies now.

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My friend was already discharged by the time I went into work. They said she was discharged yesterday. Not sure when, but I know she let me know around 7 pm that the baby had passed unexpectedly that day. I have so many questions-of course I won't ask her but I work at one of the best hospitals in the country, next to THE best children's hospital in the country (UPenn & CHOP). Of course things happen at any hospital, it's just such a shame. I wonder if they were discharged early and she died at home or if they were still in the hospital. 

 

I'm sure I'll know more if/when she wants to talk. I just let her know I was thinking of her-I don't have a way to get to her house. She lives in the suburbs and I live right in the city without a car. 

 

In happier news, my niece is doing amazing. My sister is beside herself that Gianna is so good, happy, quiet so far, BFing well etc. She's a little peanut too-born at 6 lbs, is now 5lbs 10oz. We had to go buy her preemie clothes/diapers yesterday because she kept having blowouts in the newborns because they were big! 

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(edited)

My friend was already discharged by the time I went into work. They said she was discharged yesterday. Not sure when, but I know she let me know around 7 pm that the baby had passed unexpectedly that day. I have so many questions-of course I won't ask her but I work at one of the best hospitals in the country, next to THE best children's hospital in the country (UPenn & CHOP). Of course things happen at any hospital, it's just such a shame. I wonder if they were discharged early and she died at home or if they were still in the hospital. 

 

I'm sure I'll know more if/when she wants to talk. I just let her know I was thinking of her-I don't have a way to get to her house. She lives in the suburbs and I live right in the city without a car. 

 

In happier news, my niece is doing amazing. My sister is beside herself that Gianna is so good, happy, quiet so far, BFing well etc. She's a little peanut too-born at 6 lbs, is now 5lbs 10oz. We had to go buy her preemie clothes/diapers yesterday because she kept having blowouts in the newborns because they were big! 

What a beautiful name Gianna. 

Edited by amitville
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JB0495, that is absolutely heartbreaking.  Like Jenniferbug said, that's one of my worst fears.  I wasn't at all prepared for the paralyzing terror that came with parenthood, the constant worry that something terrible could happen.  You're a sweet friend to care so much about her and want to share in her grief.

 

We're doing better here.  Hubby has been back to work, and wrangling the three kids hasn't been so awful, though DH has been late every.single.day.  Not by a lot, maybe half an hour, and it really is out of his control (traffic, etc) but by dinnertime, the older two are crabby and hungry, and things get chaotic.  We've had a lot of friends drop off dinner for us, and I have a freezer full of meals (I was busy in the weeks leading up to delivery!) but it's easily the craziest time of day. 

 

Sleep is okay, kind of. My newborn absolutely hates to be on his back and will only sleep on his tummy.  He doesn't even like the swing!  My middle child was that way too, and the pediatrician told us to go ahead and put him on his tummy, since he had good head control and we don't have any of the SIDS risk factors.  (He pointed out that it wasn't exactly safe to drive my kids around on such little sleep, either.)  It was life-changing, but it always bothered me.  What if, you know?  We've been letting the new little guy nap that way, since I can check on him frequently, but I can't bring myself to do it at night just yet.  I was so exhausted I finally put him in his crib on his belly around 4 am very early Sunday morning, and he slept four blissful hours.  I've read a lot of the research about back sleeping, and I understand that the tummy was the preferred method a generation ago, but then I read stories like the one above.  (To be clear, I'm not suggesting this poor mother did anything wrong or that it was in any way preventable, just that hearing about it reminds me that the unimaginable DOES happen and none of us is immune.) 

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Do they still have those squishy wedge thingys so babies can sleep on their sides?  That's what we used for my lass who was about Gianna's size (preemie clothes too!), my lad was kicking off blankets the first night home from the NICU and moving however he wanted by about six weeks so it was moot, though he was not much of a sleeper period.

 

Thanks for the updates Jenniferbug and Pixie Chicken.

 

Congratulations on your niece jb0495, and I'm so sorry for your friend.  I can't even imagine, I almost lost the lad at about 10 weeks in utero, had the first OB tell me there was nothing to be done, spent a weekend praying and found a high risk one that took very good care of us that Monday.

 

There aren't any words, just being there is everything.

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I know they have my niece in a bassinet/swing/hammock type thing in their bedroom. By the looks of it, she could sleep there for awhile, since she's small. According to my sister she's been a pretty good sleeper so far. 

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I sympathize on the lack of sleep, Pixie. My newborn seems to have her days and nights confused. She'll sleep at least 3-5 hours at a time during the day, then from 11 pm on her sleep time gets shorter and shorter. Most nights I'm up with her every hour and a half from 1 am until we give up and get up for the day around 7:30. To add to that, my older girl (who slept through the night practically from birth) has suddenly started waking up during the night too. So husband and I are both up in the night with kids, though him less than me. He's willing to get up with the baby too, but I'm breast feeding and if this kid is awake she thinks she needs to be eating so it's not something he can help with until I figure out a good feeding schedule that allows me to get some pumping times worked in too. But she's happy and healthy and adorably sweet. After her scary entrance into the world, I'm so thankful she's thriving.

I suppose the upside of being awake so often in the night is that I find plenty of time to read these boards and pin things on Pinterest!

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It's unlikely the baby in the hospital died of SIDS. And although putting babies on their backs correlated dramatically to the fall in SIDS, there is another correlation we forget to factor in, and that's second and third hand cigarette smoking. SIDS death was already dramatically declining when we started back sleeping, and continued to fall as we've banned cigarettes from most public areas and very often private ones involving babies.

If you want, take a receiving blanket and roll it tightly and place it behind her back as a wedge. Or don't swaddle on her tummy. Her startle reflex will kick in

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(edited)

The trouble is, if it's SIDS, then we don't know what caused it. The wedges did lead to suffocation death, like bumpers, in tiny numbers. But I guess parents do have to weigh the tiny numbers against the other odds (for instance, a tired parent could stumble on the stairs a MUCH higher likelihood than 13 babies who may or may not have a neurological condition that we can or cannot do much about.)

But you're talking to a mother who had one of "those" babies - one with real honest colic who screamed for three hours every night like clockwork and nothing worked. And one who screamed in the car. I didn't leave my home for more than a few miles for a full year, because I wasn't safe to drive.

A wedge, or bumper or turning around a car seat? In retrospect, those all seem quaint to me. (We tried everything, recommended, old wives tale- heck, we brought out whiskey, well, that was for my husband.....) My pediatrician said, "We survive until she grows old enough for her body to handle things." And we did. She's now four and travels all over the world! :)

Edited by GEML
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The trouble is, if it's SIDS, then we don't know what caused it. The wedges did lead to suffocation death, like bumpers, in tiny numbers. But I guess parents do have to weigh the tiny numbers against the other odds (for instance, a tired parent could stumble on the stairs a MUCH higher likelihood than 13 babies who may or may not have a neurological condition that we can or cannot do much about.)

And although putting babies on their backs correlated dramatically to the fall in SIDS, there is another correlation we forget to factor in, and that's second and third hand cigarette smoking.

 

Yes, this.  It's the part that no one really discusses -- we don't know what exactly causes SIDS.  It's horrifying -- every parent's nightmare -- so of course we want to do everything we can to reduce the risk, but in the end, it is all just a guess.  There are experts who believe that a large number of SIDS cases are actually due to undiagnosed medical conditions, largely unrelated to sleeping position or room temperature or pacifier use.  

 

It's also not the same thing as suffocation.  We don't use bumpers or pillows, and opt for the wearable blankets, but those reduce the risk of suffocation, not SIDS. 

 

And as you pointed out, GEML, some think the dramatic reduction in smokers has more to do with the decrease than the back-to-sleep movement.  After all, "correlation is not causation."

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All of what you both just said is why we chose to use the wedge in the first place.  It seemed to snug and comfort her so she slept better and I thought that was the highest priority.  I just had no idea that there were now strong recommendations against their use so I wanted to mention it since I brought it up.  My boy would flip and turn and kick himself out of a swaddle so it was a matter of making the crib as safe possible knowing that no matter what we did, he'd be in his "own" position after any of us got any sleep.

 

Wearable blankets, what an awesome idea!

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(edited)

Love the pet vs. pills stories.

 

My beloved old Labrador had epilepsy from age 5 until his death at age 14. He had to take phenobarbital and potassium bromide for his seizures. This regimen kept him seizure-free for 9 years.  I placed the phenobarbital pill in a chunk of bagel, and squirted the liquid KBr on top.  He gobbled it down with no problem :)

 

Fortunately both of the dogs I have now are natural born gobblers, and giving them pills is easy. Not so much for my cat, although Pill Pockets do work if I squish them around the pill first.

 

I give my pups apple and carrot chunks - they like healthy snacks much more then their person does LOL.  Here is a list of fruits and vegetables that are toxic to dogs - look out for those apple seeds:

 

http://www.onegreenplanet.org/animalsandnature/5-fruits-and-veggies-that-are-toxic-to-your-dog/

I have had labs all my life.  Most were pigs and would eat anything.  For those who were a little fussy I'd put their pills in some liverwurst and that always worked.  My current sweetheart needs thyroid meds and I just drop the pill on top of her dry food and she gobbles it up.  I think cats are harder to fool. 

I'm sure most of you have seen this, but it's good for a laugh!

 

http://www.goodeatsfanpage.com/Humor/otherhumor/dog_cat_diary.htm

Edited by Ilovemylabs
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Yes, I'm not sure why/how the baby died. Not sure if they were at home either.

 

My friend had OHS 3 years ago to repair a defect found. They said it was from rubella (I believe-I can't think of what it was of the top of my head) when she was young. She nor anyone in her family ever smoked, she rarely even drank. She just desperately always wanted to have children and was finally at the right place/time in her life to be pregnant. I think I was actually more excited for her baby than my niece. I didn't mean that to be cold but I'm not super close to my stepsister, although our parents have been married since I was 5 & she was 10. I also already have 6 nieces, nephews so this was #7. It was her first though so still very exciting. 

 

My friend is like a 30 year old, going on 13. We're dorks, love HP, BBT, pop culture etc. They didn't find out what they were having and decorated the nursery with little cartoon robots. I think I was excited to see two cool, awesome, dorky people raise a cool, awesome kid LOL, since I feel like it would kind of be the same if I ever did decide to have kids, although I'm not a 'baby' person and couldn't ever see myself with kids. Rather than my niece who I know will be all bows, pink, tutus and by the book. 

 

At least I can take pride in the fact that I'm already the cool aunt who lives in a big city with a cute, handsome doggie and gives the coolest gifts. I can't wait until my oldest niece is reading to get her into HP. She already knows there are TWO theme parks for the characters  at Disney LOL.

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Ahhhh. I'm old. It took me until the last post from jb0495 to figure out what HP is. (Even though I have a 21 year old who read them cover to cover while not ever opening a science book...). Now I'm working on BBT. Don't tell me, I'll get it sooner or later.

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(edited)

I swear I'm approaching old fart status as well. I turned 37 yesterday and my fiance and I went out to dinner followed by bowling. The alley was packed with Kylie Jenner wannabe teens and tweens taking duck-lipped selfies, crowding the areas between the lanes. It was all I could do not to rip the damn iPhones out of their hands and toss them down the ball chute.

Edited by BitterApple
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Ahhhh. I'm old. It took me until the last post from jb0495 to figure out what HP is. (Even though I have a 21 year old who read them cover to cover while not ever opening a science book...). Now I'm working on BBT. Don't tell me, I'll get it sooner or later.

 

When you get BBT, let us know, Happy - I'm clueless on that one too. :>)

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Happy Birthday, and I want to be there when you start tossing Kylee wannabes and their lips down the alley.  That sounds like great fun. I would not want to be a tween-teen again, and I wasn't even that bad.  

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Yes, lookeyloo, I was referencing The Big Bang Theory. LOL you all are making me feel young & I'm almost 30! I agree I can't stand the tweens nowadays, I swear I wasn't like that when I was younger. I was the dorky kid who liked to read, I never dressed & did the stuff teens do now. But I also didn't grow up with the internet, snapchat, twitter etc. 

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Smart dog . :>) And your post made me think of a little framed card I bought for my sister the Christmas after she got her Golden Retriever puppy.  "I feel sorry for people who don't have dogs. I hear they actually have to pick up their own food if they drop it on the floor..." Grin.

 

Ha! My sister just mentioned this last night. When we each first moved away from home, we had to remember to pick food up off the floor. We were so used to a dog doing that for us. 

 

It's unlikely the baby in the hospital died of SIDS. And although putting babies on their backs correlated dramatically to the fall in SIDS, there is another correlation we forget to factor in, and that's second and third hand cigarette smoking. SIDS death was already dramatically declining when we started back sleeping, and continued to fall as we've banned cigarettes from most public areas and very often private ones involving babies.

 

Yeah, I read a few years ago that the only factor they were able to statistically correlate with SIDS was smoking -- including 2nd or 3rd hand. 

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About Wander, no she hasn't checked in. I read from her last words that she's kinda down and doesn't feel much like communicating lately. It's about time her world was restored to the upright and locked position. I miss her posts, but the Duggars are probably below radar levels for her right now - not even recordable on the "least of her worries" list.

Lookey, when does your ship sail? And what part of Atlanta are you moving to? It's been so STINKING HOT the last few days, and NO RAIN. My plants are all looking a little parched. I love summer, I mourn when it's over. But every now and then...just for a tiny break... it'd be nice to have a random autumn day. Not to stay, mind you, just for a breather.

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