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Small Talk: The Prayer Closet


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WANDERWOMAN, in addition to what everyone else has posted, what I wish we could do is each sign up for a turn at coming over and helping with the cleaning, cooking, or whatever else you and your hubby may need, including hand holding, comfort and anything else we could do to give you the time you need for cuddling Maisie. (I want some kissie-face time with her too, though.) I cannot imagine the stress you are all trying to handle, and I hope our being here for you helps at least a little. And yes, I would be in for GoFundMe, too.

SOMEPITY1066, yes, there still are plenty of healing thoughts for your fur baby. It is so hard when they are sick, and don't understand, and can't talk to us.

Hugs to all the Small Talk friends out there who are hurting today. It is a reminder to the rest of us to count our blessings and be grateful.

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SP1066 I hope you know how much I love our critters.  They mean the world to me.  If I could ever have done anything, anything at all, to save mine, I would have.  I did everything I could and in the end we lose them and we always know that.  I fervently hope and pray Clooney recovers to enjoy life with you and has many happy days left.   

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Oh Wanderwoman even under the best of circumstances the first year after a new arrival is tough! Communication, sex, finances, expectations are all topsy turvey. On top of this you add Maisie's challenges and your diagnoses. We were married for 7.5 years before our first was born and she still rocked our world. Don't be hard on yourself or DH. Deep breaths. I know especially with finances it's hard to not plan, but give yourself permission to not think about these challenge ls for a few hours or a day. Put it in a box and lock it up. One day (hour) at a time. (I can relate. I was laid off during that pregnancy and was days away from losing our home and bankruptcy and I thought maybe my marriage but a turn for the best happened in the nick of time). I wish all the best for you. And remember it's in a man's nature to fix things and when they feel powerless it manifests itself in different not so fun ways.

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So sorry WW. And wow, you guys are going through a lot. Your hubby sounds like a caring man, take time to talk, in those rare moments where everyone is fed and somewhat rested. Make a pact to try & be kind even in the crazy angry emotional moments you will continue to have. Find a mantra, like 'this too will pass'. Come on here and let it out. And find what ever resources are in the community for you. Hospital Social Workers, Maisie's pediatrician, your therapist - they all know of resources and supports - talk to all of them about the difficulties you are facing.

 

Again, so sorry for you. 

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Wanderwoman so sorry to hear about what's happening.  You have both been through so much lately.  No wonder there are high stress issues.

 

We have helped Seashell Lover with a GoFundMe - 

 

Group?  Are we in?

 

Yes, please. Anything constructive I can do to help now might make me feel better. I'm heartsick about what is happening to these new friends I've never actually met. And sometimes all the "hang in theres" in the world, while wonderful, are not just enough. I badly need to do something real and productive. So count me in - thanks.

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Yes, please. Anything constructive I can do to help now might make me feel better. I'm heartsick about what is happening to these new friends I've never actually met. And sometimes all the "hang in theres" in the world, while wonderful, are not just enough. I badly need to do something real and productive. So count me in - thanks.

. Yes please, me too.

I think this is how we're all feeling - I know it's my own nature to jump in with a shovel and start pitching. Even if it's manure, and a good deal of life in general for WW lately, unfortunately, is all manure.

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Find a mantra, like 'this too will pass'.

During divorce, the one I used for my kids and I was "we will be ok" (often said through tears)

 

Sending group {{{HUGS}}} to the prayer closet virtual support group!

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We are struggling. Dh and I had a wicked argument. Finances are getting the tight and we gave two distinct views of necessity. Sad.

Hugs wanderwomen let us know if we/I can help.

You guys have me in "do-something !" mode - seriously, I thank you for that soooo much ! Awesome motivation, guys !!! It's like Matt Paxton on "Hoarders" giving me guidance !

 

My need to have a yard or garage sale is overwhelming ! There's so much stuff I don't know where to begin, so I just don't. Or haven't. But now, through the power of the Prayer Closet, I'm going to have the moxie to pull this off...

 

I was entrusted by five family members to be the Executrix of their estates. Meaning I inherited everything. EVERYTHING. I've been lost in an ocean of pictures, knick-knacks, furniture, kitchen items, linens, from FIVE houses, and have been powerless to make a move for fear of giving the wrong thing away, but now I know, with you, from you, that it's just all STUFF. Your kind advice would be much appreciated !

 

I'm going to keep exactly 50 things. Embroidered pillowcases from Armenia. Cowbells (from real cows) from my great-grandparents farm in Denmark. My dear father's letters home from the Korean War. My grandmother's pendant watch with her initials engraved in gold. My mother's roller skates. My Light-Bright from 1975. Maybe a few more things, but that's about it. 

 

When I read the stories here about love, loss, babies, heartbreak, triumph, it makes the "stuff" feel so small an insignificant. I can keep the very few things that REALLY matter, and jettison the rest. Anyone interested in helping me unload 25 years with of British Royal memorabilia ? I think I may have to check out Ebay....  ???  :)

 

Anyhoo, hello to Jenniferbug and her precious little Carolinebug, my prayers to Happyfatchick, both for herself and her mother, and also sending prayers to Wanderwoman and little Maisie. My heart is with all of you.... <3

 

Not to be selfish (I really hope it's not taken that way) but my dear, dear doggie, my Belgian Malinois rescue, adopted from an agency in Arkansas (Duggar country, seriously - like 10 miles away from Ground Zero !) is ailing and sick, and though I've done absolutely EVERYTHING to make him better, his life as a stray on the streets has got the better of him. He's a sweet, kind, shy, absolute goofball, and he's my buddy, my baby, and I'd do ANYTHING for him. If you have it in your heart to say a prayer, regardless of religion or denomination, I'd be so grateful. Prayers to the Flying Spaghetti Monster are also gratefully accepted..

 

Here's my sweet babu in the video that captured my heart before I adopted him from Arkansas and brought him nearly 1000 miles here to my home on the East Coast. Sooooo not looking for donations of any kind, believe me, just prayers and well wishes, please...

 

I am praying my heart .   

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I'm sorry for last night's post. For such a long time, you were my sounding boards. After three nights if arguments with hubby and feeling physically ill, I had to get away from him even if only online .

When Maisie was in the NICU, we were shockingly cavalier about how we had saved enough pre-kid to not need help. We even compared ourselves to others like fantastic assholes. Then came her hearing loss and we thought, "we can still do this". But, adding cancer to the plate, along with a low cap on my insurance because I am normally healthy, did us in. Now, although we certainly won't be homeless, there's a friction and simple math problem- our daily expenditures don't match our income. It's a reality that many people face. For us, it's a novel concept. But, the deeper concern is one of time. DH is working his butt off. It's h just s busy season and the company has been dealing with too few employees and a growing demand for service. He's gone a lot and I'm resenting it. He views illness as an issue of will power. When I had my first treatment, I threw up for six hours straight. He had worked a day and because I slept in the bath tub, he had Maisie duty all night. He was tired and he let me know about it. But, wtf? That's what you do as a parent. You suck it up, drink more coffee and deal. Why do I always have to be the strong, positive cheerleader? I asked why he was acting g like he has been and he threw out an excuse about my decision to a quit to be with Maisie like I preplanned cancer! I know it's his fear talking. I'm scared too. I just need a rock right now. Thanks for listening.

Neither of you asked for this, but together as a couple you weathered the storm.  The fight was his frusation of not being able to cure you.   If i had a magic wand i would wave it and take all your troubles away but sadly all i can do is send my love and remember this thread is a safe haven.  Me and your cyber family  are here with open arms to hug you  ears to listen , hearts to love you and try to make everything better.

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Weird or not weird? We have new neighbors of about one month, 2 adults in maybe there 50s. There living room and kitchen are located on the side toward our house. Neither my son, husband, nor myself have ever noticed lights on in either of those rooms.

Being the un-Duggars that we are, are having much fun imagining different scenarios.

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Weird or not weird? We have new neighbors of about one month, 2 adults in maybe there 50s. There living room and kitchen are located on the side toward our house. Neither my son, husband, nor myself have ever noticed lights on in either of those rooms.

Being the un-Duggars that we are, are having much fun imagining different scenarios.

Maybe they're blind and don't need to use lights? (I wonder weird thoughts about some of my neighbors too sometimes)
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The house directly across from me in our development was empty for about 5 years. Now I see movement (you can see the TV on at night because of a glass panel in the door). Other things as well, but I never EVER see a real live person. There's no car in the drive, ever. I never see anyone coming or going. I think Boo Radley lives there.

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I'm in.  We're here. 

 

Massive hugs for wanderwoman with leftovers for SomePity1066.

 

I love the idea of taking photos and using an estate seller to de-clutter family heirlooms!

 

wanderwoman, how long ago did you quit your job?  Are you still in the window of a "qualifying event" for ACA coverage?  Just an idea.

We just had another argument.

I don't think I would qualify under ACA since I'm still on Dh plan. We may get to extend or utilize disability funds but I won't know until Monday.

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We just had another argument.

I don't think I would qualify under ACA since I'm still on Dh plan. We may get to extend or utilize disability funds but I won't know until Monday.

 

If you are in the window from leaving your job, it may still be a qualifying event.  I have been out of the HR business for too long, and I don't know all the ins and outs of employment insurance integration with COBRA and the ACA but if it's like it used to be, even if you were covered under DH's insurance it would be a qualifying event - if Maisie were less than 2 months, that would have been as well.  It's worth checking on.

 

I'm so sorry that the two of you are struggling but please please remember that your DH is petrified, the two of you had already been through so much :( and now it's  you and it's finances which alone is the biggest reason for arguments in a relationship.  Just try to be kind, and look at things from all perspectives, even if he can't.  Hugs, sweetie. ♥

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(edited)

We just had another argument.

I don't think I would qualify under ACA since I'm still on Dh plan. We may get to extend or utilize disability funds but I won't know until Monday.

Wanderwomen this is just no good for your state of mind.  I can say all couples fight over money but you have heard that.  By now i would backhand me.  Let me know what i or your cyber family can do to help you.

Edited by amitville
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Wanderwoman, my heart goes out to you and your family. What you've been through these last seven or eight months is traumatic enough without the burden of finances piled on top of it all. I so wish I could magically fast-forward you through this time to when everyone is healthy and thriving and the money situation has stabilized.

Try not to be too hard on yourselves. You DID plan well, but **no one** prepares for everything to go to hell all at once. You could never have possibily known this was coming. Even if you'd kept your job, you'd be looking at daycare for a special needs infant and arranging FMLA through your treatment-- that wouldn't necessarily be an improvement.

Sending hugs and prayers. Hang in there and PLEASE take advantage of whatever resources are available to you. As others have suggested, the hospital social worker is a great start, and I've known quite a few people who've gotten some great assistance from the American Cancer Society.

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WanderWoman, I've been trying to come up with a helpful response to your last couple of posts since I first read them. And I've got nothing, except to say that your situation sucks and I wish you weren't dealing with so many struggles right now. If it helps to lean on your internet friends, please know we are all here for you. Hugs to you, my friend.

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(edited)
Maybe they're blind and don't need to use lights? (I wonder weird thoughts about some of my neighbors too sometimes)

 

Maybe they turn on the lights, but you don't see them because you happen to be asleep or not at home.  FWIW, I only turn on my lights when I'm in the room, and in this 100 degree weather here, I hate to turn on the lights if I don't have to.  My shades and curtains are closed as well.  It's just too hot!  (LOL! maybe they comment to each other about the neighbor that is always looking out the window.)

Edited by zenme
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Well I don't think they are blind because they have cars. And our kitchen window faces their home, so we would be apt to catch a light on a one point, because we are in and out of the kitchen frequently.

 

They also haven't mowed there lawn since they moved in.

 

I think Absolom may be on to something, the master bedroom is on the other side of the house. The man stays home, so maybe he cooks in the day, and they are bedroom dwellers at night.

 

Or maybe they are Vampires, in the Witness Protection Program, or undercover Detectives ...  ;)

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(edited)

My father used to say "people know when we're not home because there are lights on"

(they would use timers on the lights when they went off on vacation)

Edited by springtime
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Central America isn't one country either.

I had to move this completely irrelevant line to this thread because It inspired a story.

Once upon a time, we had a partner in our mechanic shop. He was never the top of his class in school, but could fix ANYTHING mechanically.

One day, my husband came in the office and found the partner pouring over a phone book. Hubs says, "whatcha doing?"

Partner says, "trying to figure out how to call the airport in Columbia to get a flight time. My friend is coming today from Columbia but I don't know when he's landing."

My husband says, "Columbia, South Carolina?"

Partner rolls his eyes and says, "nooooo, Columbia, South America".

Husband gets that concentration look and says "you know you can't call up Columbia, South America and check on a flight. Columbia is a COUNTRY".

Partner looks over at husband like he's crazy. (And then turns the volume up, because that makes me RIGHTER, yes???)

"I'm talking about COLUMBIA, SOUTH AMERICA. that's where he's LEAVING FROM!!"

"I know, but WHERE in Columbia? What CITY? Columbia is a COUNTRY."

Partner: blink. Blink. Blink. "South America isn't a country???"

Same guy later asked our clerk what did people mean by the word "Holocaust?"

Later still, he asked ME where the civil war was fought. I thought he was messing with me, and I said, "well...where do YOU think it was fought?"

***its important to insert that we live in the very same area Sherman burned to a crisp on his was to Savannah. In fact, our shop sits next to a spring that is the beginning of the Flint River (which runs through Jonesboro and inspired Gone With The Wind". Not a secret.)***

He looks at me with the very face of innocence and says, "I think in Charleston, but I'm not for sure".

I say, "Ulysses S. Grant, William Sherman, Robert E. Lee... ever heard of any of those guys?"

Blank stare.

"Do you even know when the war WAS, or what they were fighting about?"

Blink, blink, blink. Tick tick.

"Abraham Lincoln???"

Finally a nod. "Yes! I know him. Wait... Are you saying HE was in the civil war????"

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(edited)

That's hilarious! I lived in Italy/England from the ages of 15-38, but spent a couple of years in Alabama going to college. I moved there from Italy and I had way more than just one person ask me what language they spoke there.

Edited by Aja
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My father used to say "people know when we're not home because there are lights on"

(they would use timers on the lights when they went off on vacation)

Mine too, lol! He worked for the electric company, he would say, he didn't own it!

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My father used to say "people know when we're not home because there are lights on"

My dad said that too, but only because he was FANATIC about us turning lights off if you weren't in the room. Even if you were going to pee intending to come right back..."turn that light off!!!"

After my Daddy died, we lived in their basement for a short period, to care for Mama. As you know, she has Alzheimer's, and part of her mind is very, very frightened of the dark. This is how I felt comfortable leaving her upstairs at night - because I knew once she was in her room, she wouldn't venture out if the rest of the house was dark. So I was VEWY, VEWY careful to turn off the lights and leave the house in total blackout before I went down to my cave at night. But then... after awhile, I started coming up to check on her, and the dining room light would be on - at the furthest end of the house from her room. I knew she hadn't been up, I could hear everything from downstairs. SEVERAL times, I came up to find those lights or various others on, when I KNEW I'd turned them off. So one night, checking on her and finding lights on, I said out loud (laughing a little), "Poppy, are you messing with me?"

The next day, during daylight hours, I went into the basement for something and turned on several lights. I found what I went for, and returned upstairs. On the way up, I said out loud, "poppy, you'd be proud of me, I remembered to turn off all the lights". Ten minutes later, I went downstairs again, and ALL THE LIGHTS WERE ON!!!!

He doesn't mess with the lights any more, and I actually wish he would.

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Weird or not weird? We have new neighbors of about one month, 2 adults in maybe there 50s. There living room and kitchen are located on the side toward our house. Neither my son, husband, nor myself have ever noticed lights on in either of those rooms.

Being the un-Duggars that we are, are having much fun imagining different scenarios.

This house would drive my mother nuts if it was next door to hers & she would come up with a few reasons why lights aren't on. She knows about everyone's comings and goings on her end of the street. She doesn't understand why her next door neighbor (the one I've written about with dementia) leaves her lights on or off & doesn't raise her blinds like she did in the past. She had a field day watching new neighbors move in. A strange car or one she hasn't seen before gets her radar up. My sister & I get a kick of out of the different scenarios she comes up with &some of them end up being correct. I think she missed her calling as a private eye.

The other day she was excited to tell me about a new recipe she came across. When she started telling me about it, I realized she was describing the Duggar's ice cream sandwich cake. She was going on about how easy & cheap it would be to make, compared to another similar cake we make with more expensive thin chocolate wafer cookies. I told her I've seen it on TV & was thinking she had it right - it is cheap to make if it is a Duggar recipe.

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Or maybe they are Vampires, in the Witness Protection Program, or undercover Detectives ...  ;)

Not necessarily mutually exclusive. My money is on undercover vampire detectives in witness protection.

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Well I don't think they are blind because they have cars. And our kitchen window faces their home, so we would be apt to catch a light on a one point, because we are in and out of the kitchen frequently.

 

They also haven't mowed there lawn since they moved in.

 

I think Absolom may be on to something, the master bedroom is on the other side of the house. The man stays home, so maybe he cooks in the day, and they are bedroom dwellers at night.

 

Or maybe they are Vampires, in the Witness Protection Program, or undercover Detectives ...  ;)

 

No one has guessed meth lab or drug house yet. Squatters? Illegal aliens? Human trafficking? Terrorists? My mind is rife with ideas. I guess it's my Cancerian imagination is cranking into high gear.

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Oh look, you don't have to be intellectually challenged and from the south to be uninformed.  I love the man on the street stuff Jay Leno used to do, and I now see many other personalities emulating.  Ask any good old USC student on Hollywood Blvd and you've got stupidity on parade.  I have a great number of foreign friends because they are so happy to meet an American who knows something about their country, continent, religion, political situation, and so on.  Not that I know so much but am apparently head and tails above the other Americans they meet.  Often I am the only native American (not Indian) in a group of people.  And I learn so much from them, and they from me.  A life without learning is no life, to me.

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So this is based off the comments about Chick-fil-a in Josh and Anna's thread.

 

My local Chick-fil-a (which I still can't go to, since it helps out their corporate) regularly donates to local pride festivals and parades.  I think that is awesome.

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The next day, during daylight hours, I went into the basement for something and turned on several lights. I found what I went for, and returned upstairs. On the way up, I said out loud, "poppy, you'd be proud of me, I remembered to turn off all the lights". Ten minutes later, I went downstairs again, and ALL THE LIGHTS WERE ON!!!!

I've had one of those experiences! When I was about ten, we had an old friend of the family stay with us for a short time before he went to live with his sister. He was downsizing and had the trunks of his mother and aunt in our basement. He was going through them to see what he wanted and what to throw out. He gave me some lovely trinkets and knick knacks. With my arms full of treasures, I carefully turned off all the lights in the basement as I was the last one going upstairs. I then wanted to take a bath but found out no one had brought the clean towels up from the basement after washing them. I went down again found every single light on! I came running upstairs asked if anyone had gone down, but no one had. Guess either aunty or his mother were wondering what was happening with their things in the trunks!

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When I had my first treatment, I threw up for six hours straight. He had worked a day and because I slept in the bath tub, he had Maisie duty all night. He was tired and he let me know about it. But, wtf? That's what you do as a parent. You suck it up, drink more coffee and deal. Why do I always have to be the strong, positive cheerleader? I asked why he was acting g like he has been and he threw out an excuse about my decision to a quit to be with Maisie like I preplanned cancer! I know it's his fear talking. I'm scared too. I just need a rock right now. Thanks for listening.

 

Wanderwoman, is it possible someone can come stay with you next time you have chemo?  I'm hoping you have lots of friends and family who are offering to help.  You will be sick, husband needs some rest so he can work and Maisie needs someone to hold her and feed her. It doesn't actually have to be a parent, that's what grandmothers, sisters, and old friends are for. You clearly need help, If you've got anyone offering, please take them up on it.  More coffee is not your only solution.  They may not do everything right, but it will be better than the last time.   I am very sorry you are having such an awful year and I really hope things get much better, very soon.

 

Chick Fil A wanted to build a drive through in our town. City council wouldn't let them due to traffic issues. Pretty sure that was actually politics. There's one a few miles away, but I've never been there... Hope everyone else is doing ok.

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(edited)

Wanderwoman, a few posters mentioned speaking to a hospital social worker.  Many years ago my mom was in a hospital for many months and her medical bills amounted to six figures.  My sister and I helped her out by using her SSI and whatever we could to contribute monthly.  In the meantime a social worker sent applications for grants on my mother's behalf.  The first year a grant paid half and we continued to pay monthly.  The second year the social worker got another grant which paid half of what balance there was.  We were so relieved and figured what was left would be very manageable but to our surprise the social worker got hold of another grant the following year which paid the balance.

 

My sister was the primary caregiver but also needed to work so she enrolled our mom in an adult day care center.  A social worker got a grant that paid half of the monthly cost.

 

If you decide to seek a hospital social worker I hope that he/she will be able to help you like we were.  ((HUGS TO YOUR FAMILY))

Edited by abseedee
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Jesus H and a bucket of chicken Wanderwoman - you've really had the barn door come swingin' around on you.  Hey, new baby and arguments go together like peanut butter and jelly, and with your recent diagnosis and treatment that's like putting more kerosene on the fire.  I'm pretty sure if you and your husband went thru all that with the little Maisie gal in the hospital, you can probably much get thru anything.  I think maybe the best thing is to avail yourself of a couple of close friends that can take their turns with helping you out, even if it's just to play with Maisie while you rest after your chemo cocktail.  I'm always having a good thought for you.    

 

I am going to see my good friend this weekend, haven't seen her physically in 20 years.  But she's always been there, via the phone, mail, UPS, holiday and birthday packages, and the ever lovin' internet. Our friendship has lasted 35 years, probably because we don't live in the same state, and even though we share a lot of the same tastes, we are also two very different people.  My daughter and I are driving up to her house which is quite a jaunt and then we are driving to the college town where she attended and I would visit her when we were both much younger.  I don't have hardy any 'real life' friends being a lone wolf - also by choice, and a couple of people did me wrong which keeps me turned off of people in large doses.  For whatever reason she and I speak the same language and I'm soooo looking forward to really seeing her and spending some time together.

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Jesus H and a bucket of chicken Wanderwoman - you've really had the barn door come swingin' around on you.  Hey, new baby and arguments go together like peanut butter and jelly, and with your recent diagnosis and treatment that's like putting more kerosene on the fire.  I'm pretty sure if you and your husband went thru all that with the little Maisie gal in the hospital, you can probably much get thru anything.  I think maybe the best thing is to avail yourself of a couple of close friends that can take their turns with helping you out, even if it's just to play with Maisie while you rest after your chemo cocktail.  I'm always having a good thought for you.    

 

I am going to see my good friend this weekend, haven't seen her physically in 20 years.  But she's always been there, via the phone, mail, UPS, holiday and birthday packages, and the ever lovin' internet. Our friendship has lasted 35 years, probably because we don't live in the same state, and even though we share a lot of the same tastes, we are also two very different people.  My daughter and I are driving up to her house which is quite a jaunt and then we are driving to the college town where she attended and I would visit her when we were both much younger.  I don't have hardy any 'real life' friends being a lone wolf - also by choice, and a couple of people did me wrong which keeps me turned off of people in large doses.  For whatever reason she and I speak the same language and I'm soooo looking forward to really seeing her and spending some time together.

Enjoy your trip it sounds wonderful.

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I had my closets friends whom I didn't see often enough, but I miss them terribly now that they are so far away. In truth, I'll probably see them about as often, it just feels worse.

But nothing makes you feel as isolated, I don't think, as a newborn a few months in. Everyone has been there for the excitement and the big push of it, but then you're still there, the baby is still there, the leave has all been taken, and you're home and it's just you and the baby. It's not that people are ignoring you, but now you have to ASK, and many of us are DREADFUL about that.

I didn't have cancer, but I'm chronically ill, and I know what it can mean to feel like you've thrown up for six hours and you're suddenly confronted with a husband who had worked 12-18 hours and you both need the help. But there's a baby who needs you both.

It DOES GET BETTER.

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Enjoy your trip, Cherry! Sounds like fun!

Caroline and I are home! She had her 7 days of antibiotics and then we were discharged, thank goodness. It's so nice to be back home with my older daughter and husband, and sleeping in a bed last night felt downright luxurious after the hospital couch in her room. Big sister is adjusting reasonably well. She's struggling but it's better than we were expecting so that's reassuring. Now we can start to establish a new normal for our little family.

This made me smile.  Such a feeling of peace to be back home with baby Caroline and her big sister (sissy) and your husband.  

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