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Bethenny Frankel: Skinny Girl

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I remember watching Bethenny and Jason's show when he would want to take Bryn to see his parents in his hometown.  He wanted Bryn to have grandparents.  Bethenny went along once and complained the entire time that she was in the sticks.  She was also really uncomfortable with his parents being nice to her.  I think Beth doesn't know how to be loved but wants to avoid that with Bryn, which is good. 

 

I too think that Beth wanted a baby and so found a guy she thought was easily despensible.  Jason would've gotten money from the two reality shows, he did help her launch her brand.  Yes, she worked hard to get where she is but her sudden wealth came about while she was married and I do think he played a role in that.

 

Bemoaning that she's homeless is insulting to everyone, not just homeless people.  Her fortune is in the 70 million+ range?  Why is she moving hotels every two days, people generally in her situation just set up camp at a hotel.  Fancy hotels have residents all the time.

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Once B and J decided to divorce, she asked for full primary custody of their daughter, while J asked for joint custody, which B fought in court. My sense was (based on what I saw during their reality series) J feared that B wanted to raise her daughter by herself, eventually cutting out the paternal side.. That's a scary thought for any dad who loves his child.

Because of the nature of my work, I daily see fractured families, and the anger and betrayal, though rooted in legitimate reasons, can often turn into irrational rage and vitriol. The children are always the losers, and then the cycle of dysfunction goes on and on and on.

So, I don't fault Jason Hoppy for digging in his heels and showing his ex wife that he and his family will not be erased from his little girl's life.

 The idea of cutting any one of those people down to shadow participation or complete estrangement is tragic.

 her desire to cut the Hoppys' influence on Bryn to bare minimum or nonexistent is wrongheaded and selfish.

The fact that the divorce court judge has allowed the negotiations to go this long proves to me there is much more to Frankel v Hoppy than meets the eye.

Thank you for that.  

 

I agree with your senses in regards to their divorce/custody issues.    

 

When she first came on the scene, I was a huge Bethenny fan.   But I've come to despise her.  I can't even watch this new season of RHONY for the simple fact she's now on it. 

 

She's nothing but a selfish drama queen; hell bent on bringing an innocent child into her mess.     Shame on her.  

 

Team Jason, all the way !    

 

Edited by jnymph
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Self absorbed materialistic Bethenny   Pathetic back seat lamenting about old eggs and bringing a second child into her drama.  I used to be a fan now have cobwebs.  Going to stand next to Jason. 

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I don't think Bethenny ever intended to stay married to Jason. I think, in some weird, twisted way, she is trying to recreate her childhood with Brynn playing Bethenny and Bethenny playing Bernadette. Maybe to "undo" all that was wrong in her childhood? Only problem is-Jason Hoppy is refusing to play the role of Bobby Frankel.

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So my 10 cent analysis of Beth and Jason was that they shared many of the same faults and few of the same strengths. Both are shitty communicators that have a tendency to want what they want when they want it. Neither takes criticism well. And I don't think either was very honest about their intentions for the future. Take the visiting the Grandparents; I don't think either one handled that very well. I doubt Jason was visiting his parents every other weekend before the baby. This was a guy that choose to live 3 hours away when he had a career (pharm sales and personal training) that could have worked in many cities( and I'm pretty sure his parents live near Philly). Nothing wrong with that, but it's a little different than the Everybody Loves Raymond scenario after Bryn. Jason had already chosen to move away and start his life outside of the area his parents live in. I would guess he visited about 4-5 times a year. Beth probably just assumed they would continue like that, but I don't think she ever communicated that. After Bryn, Jason probably started to want more time with his family and to see them more, nothing wrong

with that either, but I don't think he communicated that. I don't think either one really tried to understand where the other was coming from. They both just got mad when they didn't get their way. It was like watching a marriage between two spoiled only children who weren't used to sharing.

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I think the key point is that judge who is impartial sets the terms and is not closing the divorce. If Bethenny is in the right and Jason is just an opportunist who wants money I bet a judge would see through it and bring the proceedings to a speedy conclusion. They do that all the time.

I just don't know. If I have to compare Bethennys's account to someone else I would believe the other person unless it was Hitler or something.

Wait a minute! Let me think about that.

Ok, maybe Hitler. But definitely not Stalin or Ted Bundy or John Wayne Gacy or any other serial killer or terrorist you might name. They would all be more believable than Bethenny.

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think the key point is that judge who is impartial sets the terms and is not closing the divorce. If Bethenny is in the right and Jason is just an opportunist who wants money I bet a judge would see through it and bring the proceedings to a speedy conclusion. They do that all the time.

 

Right, because once you're a judge, you become completely impartial and every and all divorce proceedings are absolutely always completely fair and any person who ends up on the losing end of a divorce or a custody hearing is ABSOLUTELY wrong to question the judge's decisions. If a judge says it, they are the absolute decider and if this works out in Bethenny's favor, Jason Hoppy will be the first to run to the press and say "I absolutely concure! The judge is right to deny me!"

 

Btw I am not on either of these idiots sides. Bethenny is a piece of work and so is Jason. I just completely disagree a judge is always impartial. I've watched enough Judge Judy to tell you thats not true. That doesn't mean I think Bethenny's judge is somehow "on Jason's side" but I have seen way too many bullshit decisions from judges in all kinds of court proceedings to numbly nod to "Well, the judge is impartial so he MUST be fair and if it's taking this long, it has to be legit because well, judges are impartial."

 

Frankly,to me, both Bethenny and Jason are acting like whiny selfish babies.

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Right, because once you're a judge, you become completely impartial and every and all divorce proceedings are absolutely always completely fair and any person who ends up on the losing end of a divorce or a custody hearing is ABSOLUTELY wrong to question the judge's decisions. If a judge says it, they are the absolute decider and if this works out in Bethenny's favor, Jason Hoppy will be the first to run to the press and say "I absolutely concure! The judge is right to deny me!"

 

Btw I am not on either of these idiots sides. Bethenny is a piece of work and so is Jason. I just completely disagree a judge is always impartial. I've watched enough Judge Judy to tell you thats not true. That doesn't mean I think Bethenny's judge is somehow "on Jason's side" but I have seen way too many bullshit decisions from judges in all kinds of court proceedings to numbly nod to "Well, the judge is impartial so he MUST be fair and if it's taking this long, it has to be legit because well, judges are impartial."

 

Frankly,to me, both Bethenny and Jason are acting like whiny selfish babies.

IMO since the custody issue is ironed out, the Judge is probably thinking " if they can't find a way to settle, let them waste their time and money on lawyers and accountants, when they get tired, I'll decide who gets what and neither of them will be happy"

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IMO since the custody issue is ironed out, the Judge is probably thinking " if they can't find a way to settle, let them waste their time and money on lawyers and accountants, when they get tired, I'll decide who gets what and neither of them will be happy"

 

Thats kind of where I am at with it, frankly. I'm just unwilling to ascribe the mess to "The judge is impartial and wouldn't allow this to go on if there wasn't SOMETHING". For all we know about the judge, he may not care in the slightest as long as they want to keep arguing over it.

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Hey I am not naive. I know judges are human. It is just clear that any human being who is exposed to Bethenny for any length of time will hate her guts.

America proved that.

Look at the ratings of her talk show.

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http://www.people.com/article/bethenny-frankel-jason-hoppy-custody-battle-court-daughter-bryn

Well, according to her sworn deposition in front of a judge Jason was acting like a vindictive POS, messing with a poor old dog like Cookie would have been bad enough but to try to teach his daughter Bryn to call her mother a witch certainly shows the real Jason.

The nice Jason is probably only a carefully constructed character for family, friends and the judge, the real Jason is the jerk who stops at nothing to make the life of the mother of his child miserable and who uses his own child to hurt her the most.

Nice Jason my ass.

Bethenny waited to settle the custody until just after she testified.  So she was able to out all of Jason's faults without having him taking the stand and outing all of hers.  She gave in and agreed to joint custody - what Jason had asked for.  Jason's attorney didn't even get to cross-examine her IIRC.

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Where does it mention witnesses? It says they helped themselves to the buffet but that's about it.

Plus if I am a kid I am going to love the parent who gives me bacon a lot more than the one who is pushing her body issues on me. Why can't the kid have a freaking hot dog?

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Bethenny waited to settle the custody until just after she testified.  So she was able to out all of Jason's faults without having him taking the stand and outing all of hers.  She gave in and agreed to joint custody - what Jason had asked for.  Jason's attorney didn't even get to cross-examine her IIRC.

 

I just saw her today on ELLEN hawking her new book about relationships.  THAT'S why she wanted to get back on RHoNY:  another platform to hawk her books, her lousy watered-down over-priced drinkers, her popcorn, her makeup …. In fact, IIRC Andy Cohen in his diary book said that she wanted to come back to Bethenny Ever After but he said no and suggested the RH … 

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Where does it mention witnesses? It says they helped themselves to the buffet but that's about it.

Plus if I am a kid I am going to love the parent who gives me bacon a lot more than the one who is pushing her body issues on me. Why can't the kid have a freaking hot dog?

The photographers, the people that set up the buffet and whoever else comes along for these things. Do you think Jason and his father timed it so well that no one but Bethenny say them?

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But those people are not quoted in the article. They did not testify at this proceeding. This is only Bethenny's testimony without any cross examination. She planned it that way

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I've been trying to remember the details of that uncomfortable scene between Bethenny and Jason 1.0 during an episode of RHNYC. She asked him about their future together and pressed him for some kind of commitment.

 

 

It had to do with living arrangements. She was talking to her friend about how she's never in her apartment, how the housekeeper comes and cleans an apartment that's basically not lived in, she can't remember the last time she slept in her own bed, etc. And if I remember, there was some external event that was driving the issue. It wasn't so much "now seems to be a good point in our relationship to discuss this," but I think friends of hers - or friends of a friend - were looking for an apartment in NYC.

 

I give Jason 1.0 a lot of respect for holding his ground to discuss OFF-camera. It was a very uncomfortable scene to watch, because you just knew it wasn't going to end well.

Edited by archer1267
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It had to do with living arrangements. She was talking to her friend about how she's never in her apartment, how the housekeeper comes and cleans an apartment that's basically not lived in, she can't remember the last time she slept in her own bed, etc. And if I remember, there was some external event that was driving the issue. It wasn't so much "now seems to be a good point in our relationship to discuss this," but I think friends of hers - or friends of a friend - were looking for an apartment in NYC.

I give Jason 1.0 a lot of respect for holding his ground to discuss OFF-camera. It was a very uncomfortable scene to watch, because you just knew it wasn't going to end well.

I never did figure out the vibe between B and Jason 1.0. B seemed so, so into him. In many ways much more than Jason2. But J1 never seemed all in. Then they broke up, then they got back together and J1 was going to buy this huge apartment for them to live in, then J1 broke up with her again because he lost his job (he claimed. The whole story from the show being the only reason he was fired and it being the main reason he broke up with her seemed pretty thin to me.) never to heard from again. I get that B can work some people's last nerve and I wasn't exactly surprised they broke up, but I could figure out why he was there in the first place. Like why film the show and start looking at multi-million dollar apartments just to break up with her 5 minutes after filming warped. What's it to him if the show gets their storyline or not? Why stick around that long and then jump ship? I never really got him. Although I did find him much more attractive than J2.

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But those people are not quoted in the article. They did not testify at this proceeding. This is only Bethenny's testimony without any cross examination. She planned it that way

Exactly. No cross, no sworn corroborating witnesses, no opportunity for Hoppy and his witness list to rebut or to defend. In the end, B gave J exactly the custody arrangement he had wanted from the start. The arrangement she had fought tooth and nail for a very long time.

So, what changed Bs mind over that holiday recess, after her own direct testimony had been completed? I think it's a fair, logical conclusion that she had wanted a public forum to make her accusations and to sully a few reputations, but she didnt want to defend her testimony or give the other side the chance to challenge her version of events. I'm sure the judge took notice of the tactic, too.

More than meets the eye. I actually think Bethenny and Jason H were made for each other, in many ways. Careful what you wish for.

Re Jason 1.0: He had minor children. Every once in a while, I do see people rise above circumstances to put their children's welfare at #1priority. Maybe bald Jason was a mensch in the middle of the mayhem?

Edited by sleekandchic
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I think the fact that he is living in the marital apartment but not paying anything towards it is what people are talking about.  The county records dug up by tabloids show her checks paying the taxes and utilities.  I get that he wants the apartment but then he pays for it.  Right now he is just one big passive aggressive freeloader.  But women do the same thing all the time.  Divorce is an ugly business when one of the partners has so much money.

If the end result is Bethenny or her assistant get the apartment -why would Jason pay for it? http://www.realitytea.com/2013/03/22/does-bethenny-frankel-own-her-skinnygirl-apartment-outright-plus-jason-hoppy-refuses-to-move-out-until-custody-is-worked-out/  The payments may be in lieu of child support and the home is primarily that of the child since both parents seem to have ready access to the home.  It just sounds to me like Bethenny is protecting her asset.  There is a mortgage on the home http://radaronline.com/exclusives/2011/09/why-120-million-bethenny-frankel-getting-a-mortgage/.  It would seem to me what they are arguing over is what percentage of the 2.7 million equity Jason should receive.  If he gets the apartment he has a 30 year 2.3 million mortgage on it.  It may be just me but I don't think Bethenny's remodel was all that-too taste specific and bad use for most people of the square footage.  I am still trying to figure out where all these adults sleep when they all stay at the house-it just doesn't seem like a five bedroom type of place.

 

I think what I have learned about Bethenny Frankel over the past eight or none years is that she finds people and certain opportunities very fungible or often times diposable.  She wanted to be on the EHONYC and let her friend at the time, negotiate a position for her, then she wanted a spin-off and she got one.  I was on e of those viewers cheering for Bethenny to find someone she loved and have children-because she seemed so sincere.  Then I watched her spin-off and my impression changed.  Bethenny wanted to marry Jason and loved his parents-until she didn't need them anymore.  She wanted the marriage to complete the fairytale, she wanted a baby but she wants to work more.  She wanted a talk show-but the audience didn't want her so she decided to spin it-she didn't want it. 

 

I read LeAnn Rimes' ex's statement and although LeAnn cheated on him, he did say never once did LeAnn hold her superior wealth over him.  It may not have ended well between the two of them but that is a wealthy woman who accepts the fact that she will probably out earn anyone she falls in love with.  From what I saw of Bethenny and what she has said since about what she wants in a life partner is someone who is all about her and her businesses all the time and is incresibly wealthy in their own right.  I don't think you can have it both ways-if she wants to marry her manager it comes at a price.  I am certain there are wealthy mean whose business interests far surpass hers and if there is one who wants to put up with Bethenny he will have to accept the fact that she will not be happy until her businesses interests surpass his and then he better get out of the way.

 

I was hoping Bethenny would bring something uplifting to the show but it is just a continuation of her miserable life.  I can't keep up with this chick-she is either incredibly up, usually when pimping one of her products or incredibly depressing and annoying rattling off her rich people problems and plight in life.  I don't know what her relationship book is about and don't care.

Edited by zoeysmom
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Any proof? Mind you, I don't consider it impossible at all... but neither do I think its impossible that his main job was to act as her personal assistant and not the sole driving force behind her image since frankly she was managing that pretty well on her own.

 

So on her Bethenny show she offered Jason a job with SkinnyGirl.  She presented him with a laptop with the logo.  He turned it down.  He was on occasion out of town for 'business' so he never left his job.  The Jim Beam deal was in talks when they got married.  There was rumor that the prenup actually was a post nup that covered the new JB stuff.  But I've not seen tabloid report that contains any kind of document to that so consider it rumor.

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I remember she gave him the laptop and he was not too thrilled with it. He made it very clear that if he wasn't her partner then joining SG wasn't an option for him. It was kind of dropped until designing the now infamous apartment when I specifically remember B pointing out there would be room for Jason's desk in the office. Again, I just have a feeling J was involved in some way with SG and he wants a piece of the pie. If he was, then he deserves it.

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Absolutely, unless the pre-nup precludes him from profit.

Yup. The request to be a partner is part of where I don't buy the "Jason was an innocent aw shucks farm boy who ain't never knew Bethenny's wily ways" presentation.

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If the end result is Bethenny or her assistant get the apartment -why would Jason pay for it? http://www.realitytea.com/2013/03/22/does-bethenny-frankel-own-her-skinnygirl-apartment-outright-plus-jason-hoppy-refuses-to-move-out-until-custody-is-worked-out/  The payments may be in lieu of child support and the home is primarily that of the child since both parents seem to have ready access to the home.  It just sounds to me like Bethenny is protecting her asset.  There is a mortgage on the home http://radaronline.com/exclusives/2011/09/why-120-million-bethenny-frankel-getting-a-mortgage/.  It would seem to me what they are arguing over is what percentage of the 2.7 million equity Jason should receive.  If he gets the apartment he has a 50 year 2.3 million mortgage on it.  It may be just me but I don't think Bethenny's remodel was all that-too taste specific and bad use for most people of the square footage.  I am still trying to figure out where all these adults sleep when they all stay at the house-it just doesn't seem like a five bedroom type of place.

 

I think what I have learned about Bethenny Frankel over the past eight or none years is that she finds people and certain opportunities very fungible or often times diposable.  She wanted to be on the EHONYC and let her friend at the time, negotiate a position for her, then she wanted a spin-off and she got one.  I was on e of those viewers cheering for Bethenny to find someone she loved and have children-because she seemed so sincere.  Then I watched her spin-off and my impression changed.  Bethenny wanted to marry Jason and loved his parents-until she didn't need them anymore.  She wanted the marriage to complete the fairytale, she wanted a baby but she wants to work more.  She wanted a talk show-but the audience didn't want her so she decided to spin it-she didn't want it. 

 

I read LeAnn Rimes' ex's statement and although LeAnn cheated on him, he did say never once did LeAnn hold her superior wealth over him.  It may not have ended well between the two of them but that is a wealthy woman who accepts the fact that she will probably out earn anyone she falls in love with.  From what I saw of Bethenny and what she has said since about what she wants in a life partner is someone who is all about her and her businesses all the time and is incresibly wealthy in their own right.  I don't think you can have it both ways-if she wants to marry her manager it comes at a price.  I am certain there are wealthy mean whose business interests far surpass hers and if there is one who wants to put up with Bethenny he will have to accept the fact that she will not be happy until her businesses interests surpass his and then he better get out of the way.

 

I was hoping Bethenny would bring something uplifting to the show but it is just a continuation of her miserable life.  I can't keep up with this chick-she is either incredibly up, usually when pimping one of her products or incredibly depressing and annoying rattling off her rich people problems and plight in life.  I don't know what her relationship book is about and don't care.

The interesting thing about this is what radar on line didn't pick up on is that the condo was bought by MYC Trust.  Molly Hayden, who signed the papers, is a trustee for The MYC Trust who took out the mortgage.  Oh, and I love that the article states that Legal documents uncovered exclusively by RadarOnline.com - please, all you have to do is a search in the NYC property records on line.  The only reason why I took a look is because I've been going through documents there the last few days because I was trying to get info on property that I just inherited.

 

The question is, who does The MYC Trust belong to?  Is it just Bethenny or is it both of them?  Does it include Bryn?  Who knows. 

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The question is, who does The MYC Trust belong to?  Is it just Bethenny or is it both of them?  Does it include Bryn?  Who knows. 

 

 This trust is administered by Bethenny's friend Julie.  I think Radar made a big deal about that when they found the real estate records.  They presented it more of a corporation.  I do know folks with private jet money and the whole family has houses that are owned by the same real estate corporation.  The beauty of the trust or corp for them is that if any of them die the house is a corporate asset and there are no taxes to an estate.  I suggested that if they had a fight they would get kicked out of their house and I guess the legal stuff prevents that.

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The way I see the Jason/Bethenny stuff is write him a check and move on.  I saw him helping move her brand along just by virtue of the marriage and their relationship. After reading the first few pages of her new book. . .aye, yai, yai. . . she really doesn't get life.  Men are Neanderthals and women are purely hormonal. 

 

I don't know how much Jason wants but to keep things even with keel with Bryn let it go.  I am weird about these situations because I think of the two parents he is far less neurotic.  I always felt bad for Bob and Carol. . .after Bethenny sucked up big time she could not wait to kick the two hayseeds to the curb.  When she declared she wanted her own family traditions I knew she was just clueless. People usually include their siblings and parents.  All she had to contend with was a set of doting grandparents. 

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I always thought Carol and Bob were very nice people. Yet Bethanny wouldn't have any of it.....not even for Bryn's sake. 

 

But then B doesn't have any long term friends at all.

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People usually include their siblings and parents.  All she had to contend with was a set of doting grandparents. 

 

Exactly.  She could have had 2 sets of parents and step parents. Her own grandparents. Siblings and their spouses and their kids.  That's a lot of baggage - some of which is bound to be dysfunctional even in the best of families.  And all she had to contend with were Bob and Carole. 

 

If Bethenny weren't so hard to feel sorry for, I'd feel sorry for her.

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I know everyone is different but I have a few friends who were raised somewhat similar to Bethanny (parents who divorced when they were very young, fought, and they were shipped off to boarding school at an early age, etc.) and all of them married or a partnered with people who have big families and while it might get too intense at times, most of the time they talk about how much they love it and how happy they are that their children are going to be raised with a huge family.

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 What I think about B is that she spins "I own the apartment" and "I pay the bills for it".  She acts for the camera while she knows damn well that the trust is an agreement we as viewers have no access to. The judge and lawyers have access to it and if it were all as simple as B whines about then Jason would have been moved out a long time ago.  Betcha B never says anything so ignorant as "I own the apartment" to the judge because she doesn't.  The trust does and Jason may have been lovey dovey with B when the trust was written so he would have beneficiary rights that today she would never agree to but hey B girl you live with what you wrote into the trust when you loved him.

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The corporation that owns the apt predates Jason and Brynn. That's from the folks that dug it all down to Julie being president of that corporation. I'm sure that's what the forensic accountants are trying to break down. ( well I'm sure in my own little world anyway). They need to find a co-mingling of money that opens up Jason's right to the money. Cautionary tale, if you cash your gramma's bond to pay office overhead you suddenly are part owner of the business in a divorce.

On the spin off it was very clear that the apt was bought with Skinnygirl money. There were off the cuff remarks about the built in bar with huge logo being omage to what bought the place. Then the office area being part of the reason for the loft purchase since it allowed a work/live set up. Not having the office there was not negotiable otherwise 'I' would have just bought something smaller. But it is still the marital residence so in NY Jason doesn't have to move until the divorce is final.

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The corporation that owns the apt predates Jason and Brynn. That's from the folks that dug it all down to Julie being president of that corporation. I'm sure that's what the forensic accountants are trying to break down. ( well I'm sure in my own little world anyway). They need to find a co-mingling of money that opens up Jason's right to the money. Cautionary tale, if you cash your gramma's bond to pay office overhead you suddenly are part owner of the business in a divorce.

On the spin off it was very clear that the apt was bought with Skinnygirl money. There were off the cuff remarks about the built in bar with huge logo being omage to what bought the place. Then the office area being part of the reason for the loft purchase since it allowed a work/live set up. Not having the office there was not negotiable otherwise 'I' would have just bought something smaller. But it is still the marital residence so in NY Jason doesn't have to move until the divorce is final.

I do recall on a couple of occasions where Bethenny used the "we" word when referring to her fortune with Jason.  I also remember Bethenny saying she would spend every penny she made to make sure her original partner never received a dime.  She settled the case. 

 

If the apartment meant that much to Bethenny she should not have challenged custody with Jason and then rolled over to get what he asked for in the beginning.  She has essentially forced his hand.  I think she needs to suck it up and realize Jason and her relationship had a huge hand in building her brand.  They had a show that lasted three seasons.

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I also remember Bethenny saying she would spend every penny she made to make sure her original partner never received a dime.  She settled the case.

 

Her original partner was the fellow in Canada that manufactured Skinny Girl.  She was being sued by a guy that said he was her agent and hadn't had contact with her since 1 year before the first bottle was manufactured.  Her partner did quite well according to folks in Canada.  The guy suing said he gave her that guys name and therefore was an agent and entitled to $100 million.  

 

 

If the apartment meant that much to Bethenny she should not have challenged custody with Jason and then rolled over to get what he asked for in the beginning.

Jason filed for primary custody.  He didn't get that.  None of those documents were sealed at the time and there were just boxes that you check.  He checked primary custody the same box she checked.

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Her original partner was the fellow in Canada that manufactured Skinny Girl.  She was being sued by a guy that said he was her agent and hadn't had contact with her since 1 year before the first bottle was manufactured.  Her partner did quite well according to folks in Canada.  The guy suing said he gave her that guys name and therefore was an agent and entitled to $100 million.  

 

Jason filed for primary custody.  He didn't get that.  None of those documents were sealed at the time and there were just boxes that you check.  He checked primary custody the same box she checked.

It's interesting how those that dislike Bethenny see the facts so differently. I've seen many bash B for asking for primary custody and completely ignore that Jason asked for the EXACT same thing.

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It's interesting how those that dislike Bethenny see the facts so differently. I've seen many bash B for asking for primary custody and completely ignore that Jason asked for the EXACT same thing.

I think it's in the timing.  Bethenny filed first and asked for it first which set the tone of the custody battle.  It was seen as a hostile move in the papers and set the stage for it to be a battle and not to be resolved amicably.  If she had filed for joint custody, then it wouldn't have made such a splash.  When couples in the public eye are able to work things out, they file for joint and the tabloids note that and indicate that the couple "are moving forward and co-parenting" or the like.

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It's interesting how those that dislike Bethenny see the facts so differently. I've seen many bash B for asking for primary custody and completely ignore that Jason asked for the EXACT same thing.

 

I've no dog in the fight.  I don't love or hate her.  I do think that what she is doing with SkinnyGirl is on par with Joy Mangano for branding and building from nothing and is nothing short of fabulous.  But I have a thing about the internet way of 'if I say it enough times it must be true'.  One of the twitter tricks that drives me CRAZY is where you compose a tweet of someone saying something horrendous but you compose it to look like you are just retweeting something they actually tweeted.  Ack!  So I always jump in when that stuff happens.

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I think it's in the timing.  Bethenny filed first and asked for it first which set the tone of the custody battle.  It was seen as a hostile move in the papers and set the stage for it to be a battle and not to be resolved amicably.  If she had filed for joint custody, then it wouldn't have made such a splash.  When couples in the public eye are able to work things out, they file for joint and the tabloids note that and indicate that the couple "are moving forward and co-parenting" or the like.

From what I understand it's not uncommon to ask for primary custody in NY. It doesn't mean you aren't going to allow the other parent time with the child. It's just that one parent would be in charge of certain things such as medical, school, etc. Bethenny and Jason obviously can't discuss Bryn in a mature fashion, which is what is needed to make joint custody work.

I've no dog in the fight.  I don't love or hate her.  I do think that what she is doing with SkinnyGirl is on par with Joy Mangano for branding and building from nothing and is nothing short of fabulous.  But I have a thing about the internet way of 'if I say it enough times it must be true'.  One of the twitter tricks that drives me CRAZY is where you compose a tweet of someone saying something horrendous but you compose it to look like you are just retweeting something they actually tweeted.  Ack!  So I always jump in when that stuff happens.

I don't gave a dog in this fight either, but I don't see B as the devil like some do. I also most certainly do not see Jason as a GOOD guy.

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I think in NY someone has to have primary custody so in most cases both parents petition for it? I'm not exactly sure, but it sounds close to being the custodial parent in CA. You can still have joint custody but one parent has to be the custodial parent for legal reasons. Something, something, legal stuff that I don't know much about because it isn't covered on Law & Order? Anyway I get the impression filing for primary custody is a pretty routine step. To be honest, I'm sure that Jason and B bring out the petty in each-other, but I gather both of them asking for primary custody is just par for the course.

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I think it's in the timing.  Bethenny filed first and asked for it first which set the tone of the custody battle.  It was seen as a hostile move in the papers and set the stage for it to be a battle and not to be resolved amicably.

 

See, the problem I have is this. So Bethenny is being *hostile* in asking for primary custody of her child. But if she didn't ask for primary custody, people would accuse her of having the child as a mere adornment to her lifestyle (and in fact I have seen this accusation leveled, that Bethenny views her child as an accessory).

 

So in order to not be "hostile", she would have had to wait until Jason filed for primary custody... but would *Jason* have been viewed as "hostile"? Seriously, the first parent who asks for primary custody is automatically hostile? Or would Jason have been viewed as that innocent farm boy daddy with his aw shucks "I'm Bryn's father and I am asking for primary custody because I want to be Mr, Dad"? I wonder. Under the logic presented - only the awful hateful parent who is hostile files first.

 

Because really, Bethenny is in many many ways a terrible person, but sometimes it gets pretty convuluted painting her as the monster in all things. 

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Bethany might have many problems but she does love her daughter, IMO.

As far as being hostile, both parents are IMO.

Bethany by commenting non stop and everywhere about her future ex-husband's perceived mischiefs and him for not settling quickly.

Nobody is thinking about Brin's well being in their situation.

She is putting her daughter thru the same exact life experience that damaged her so greatly.

She is not thinking right, IMO.

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I'm definitely team Jason.  I think Bethenny tore apart their relationship, although I don't think she realizes how she did it, because  in many ways was just playing out her own damage.  It's sad, but in my view, she is just too messed up to sustain a peaceful intimate relationship, and she's not getting the kind of serious, deep therapy she would need to heal her issues.  No one's perfect, so I'm not saying Jason never got into fights with her or said crap to her-- I'm quite sure they both did.  There are few couples who wouldn't say nasty stuff to each other during fights, and especially when pushed to the levels of attention, personal issues, and stress that they were under.  But she really lacks insight into her deeper issues.  She is rich, has decided to justify the divorce in her own mind by seeing herself as the victim, and at this point has no mercy or empathy in going after Jason.  She wants to prove to the world that she is not the bad guy, Jason is; and in doing so, she is showing herself to be a ruthless jerk.  

 

Honestly, during Bethenny Ever After, the moment she started complaining about his parents wanting to spend a lot of time with them, I was like... really?  They seemed like very kind, tolerant people, and their interest in having a close relationship was understandable given that they lost their other son too soon.  She acted like it was this awful thing being forced on her.  I'm not saying she had to acquiesce to their every request, but she could have been a little more kind, empathetic, and understanding about their motives.  The whole thing where she wanted her and Jason (if they both were to die while Bryn was a child) to leave Bryn to Bethenny's makeup person?  Veronica? ...instead of Jason's parents?  Seriously.  Jason didn't fight her on that, at least not on the show, but I really thought it was too much.

 

Anyhow, Bethenny's unhealed deep wounds and hostility make her really insidious to deal with.  And I take her words about Jason with a grain of salt.  I mean, Jason and his father were in their boxer shorts in her apartment.  BIG FREAKING DEAL.  Jason's dad was never a jerk and I just do not see either of them doing this to be assholes on purpose, even if it did happen.  I mean, Bethenny pees in public, on TV, and forces others to hold the pee bucket?  And she complains about two men in their boxers?  

 

And now she's so high strung, and I've seen through a lot of her stuff, and I just don't find her fun to watch anymore.  

Edited by OhGromit
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I mean, Jason and his father were in their boxer shorts in her apartment.  BIG FREAKING DEAL.

 

Sure, two half naked men who are hostile to you in your home, no big freaking deal - how many times hav your ex boyfriends/lovers/husbands shown up with their dads and made themselves comfy cosy on your couch in their undies and did you offer them a beer to go with their casual attire as its no big freaking deal to have your ex lounging in his undies in your home. I mean, woman who don't smile and tolerate their exes littered about their home in underpants just need to stop being so prudish, its completely acceptable behavior and not passive aggressive at all, and men never ever do this to be passive aggressive and threatening? If you break up with a man, you WANT him in your home with his dad in his boxers when you come home with guests because thats perfectly acceptable?

 

Sorry - I've had a family member go thru this, complete with the chorus of "its no big freaking deal, its his home too" - an ex using your home as his place to strip down and make you uncomfortable is a threat, and that he invited his *dad* to get down to underpants and display their junk simply to prove who owned the housed and who was gonna do as he pleased is not Jason meekly being whipped, that's Jason  playing a sick game of dominance. It IS a big freaking deal..

 

Bettheny is not an innocent party - marriages take two to mess up, but castigating her for being uncomfortable with her ex husband and his dad using the family home for the purpose of displaying their male parts was not Bethenny being a baby and Jason being the perfect gentleman and if his dad was involved in stripping to his shorts to make Betthenny uncomfortable then he's not a nice kindly old man - he's a man who thinks its funny to make a woman uncomfortable by going into her home and stripping to his skivvies.

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Yeah, I guess it's all the "how" in how it happens, which we'll never know, so who knows for sure.  For my part, I see Bethenny playing up/ exaggerating/ misconstruing the "how" of it all, and exaggerating or misconstruing the intent behind whatever Jason and his dad were doing.  Did they just wake up and wander out, or did they strip to their skivvies right there in front of everyone (I don't see Jason's dad doing anything hostile like that).  And it wasn't "her" home, it was their home-- they were in their boxers, at home.  I'm not saying is no situation where it wouldn't be a hostile thing to do-- I'm sure there are situations where it is.  I just don't see it being part of the situation with Bryn's dad and grandad.  Plus, I see Bethenny as an exaggerator.  That's my two cents.  Everyone's mileage will vary.  

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I think I am very different from both Bethany and Jason in the sense that my own happiness has always been way more important to me than winning. I rarely if ever have wanted to, well to be honest, inconvenience myself to make someone else unhappy. I'm not saying I'm a saint. I've made people plenty unhappy, even on purpose. I just don't usually engage in these scorched earth battle of the wills type of thing so the entire photo shoot/underwear story is really hard for me to relate to, or even judge accurately. Like I can't imagine not only staying in a tense living situation AND inviting my parents to come on over and add to the tension. Conversely, I can't image planning a photo shoot at said apartment knowing how much stress is going to be added to a working day by the domestic situation. I just can't relate to either side on this one. I'm way too lazy to be so Machiavellian about a breakup.

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Sorry - I've had a family member go thru this, complete with the chorus of "its no big freaking deal, its his home too" - an ex using your home as his place to strip down and make you uncomfortable is a threat, and that he invited his *dad* to get down to underpants and display their junk simply to prove who owned the housed and who was gonna do as he pleased is not Jason meekly being whipped, that's Jason  playing a sick game of dominance. It IS a big freaking deal..

So here is what I saw on the Bethenny show about the apartment.  The decorator was going to fulfill the bar requirement with repurposing a lovely $50K armoire into a bar that would tuck away and be lovely when not in use.  Bethenny corrected them because 'I'm not spending 50K on a piece of furniture to start but when I said I need a bar here I mean a bar with a 6 foot logo.  That is what bought this place.  This is our office and the bar will be used in display and photos for the business.'

 

Fast forward to the photo shoot with two grown ass men walking around in their underwear grazing off the craft service table.  That's where Jason lost me.  He's not an innocent party.  His parents are as creepy as they came off in the Bethenny show.  

 

I too have watched friends go through this and it is very difficult.

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I'm definitely team Jason. I think Bethenny tore apart their relationship, although I don't think she realizes how she did it, because in many ways was just playing out her own damage. It's sad, but in my view, she is just too messed up to sustain a peaceful intimate relationship, and she's not getting the kind of serious, deep therapy she would need to heal her issues. No one's perfect, so I'm not saying Jason never got into fights with her or said crap to her-- I'm quite sure they both did. There are few couples who wouldn't say nasty stuff to each other during fights, and especially when pushed to the levels of attention, personal issues, and stress that they were under. But she really lacks insight into her deeper issues. She is rich, has decided to justify the divorce in her own mind by seeing herself as the victim, and at this point has no mercy or empathy in going after Jason. She wants to prove to the world that she is not the bad guy, Jason is; and in doing so, she is showing herself to be a ruthless jerk.

Honestly, during Bethenny Ever After, the moment she started complaining about his parents wanting to spend a lot of time with them, I was like... really? They seemed like very kind, tolerant people, and their interest in having a close relationship was understandable given that they lost their other son too soon. She acted like it was this awful thing being forced on her. I'm not saying she had to acquiesce to their every request, but she could have been a little more kind, empathetic, and understanding about their motives. The whole thing where she wanted her and Jason (if they both were to die while Bryn was a child) to leave Bryn to Bethenny's makeup person? Veronica? ...instead of Jason's parents? Seriously. Jason didn't fight her on that, at least not on the show, but I really thought it was too much.

Anyhow, Bethenny's unhealed deep wounds and hostility make her really insidious to deal with. And I take her words about Jason with a grain of salt. I mean, Jason and his father were in their boxer shorts in her apartment. BIG FREAKING DEAL. Jason's dad was never a jerk and I just do not see either of them doing this to be assholes on purpose, even if it did happen. I mean, Bethenny pees in public, on TV, and forces others to hold the pee bucket? And she complains about two men in their boxers?

And now she's so high strung, and I've seen through a lot of her stuff, and I just don't find her fun to watch anymore.

I have no idea what went on behind closed doors between the two. I, like everyone else, bring into the conversation my own experiences. My ex's parents reminded me of Jason's parents. Demanded every weekend spent with them, every holiday, yearly reunions to see people we saw regularly. It was just too much. We had no traditions with our own kids. So, of course, I saw and still see, red flags when in laws are that demanding. MMV, of course.

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Conversely, I can't image planning a photo shoot at said apartment knowing how much stress is going to be added to a working day by the domestic situation. I just can't relate to either side on this one. I'm way too lazy to be so Machiavellian about a breakup.

 

Well since the loft has her office, her employees offices and her custom built SkinnyGirl bar that's where photo shoots happen.  They had one during her show as well.  

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