DollEyes October 21, 2014 Share October 21, 2014 One of the best things about American Horror Story is the dialogue, such as Dandy's line from the "Monsters & Massacres" episode of Freak Show that he was going to search for "real caramel corn." And who could forget Jessica Lange's line to the maid from Murder House: "Don't make me kill you-again." Put your favorite quotes here-if you dare. 4 Link to comment
jnymph October 22, 2014 Share October 22, 2014 Dandy to Twisty: "Your silence is utterly provocative." Also, "You'll (or was it WE?) have to do a better job of confinement if we're going to have any fun." 4 Link to comment
I Love Me October 22, 2014 Share October 22, 2014 "Can you imagine those poor Salem witches, traveling all the way down here in covered wagons without a proper charcuterie platter or a bidet? Absolutely savage!" Myrtle had the absolute best lines that season. 5 Link to comment
Xazeal October 22, 2014 Share October 22, 2014 I'm of the opinion that Coven was a disappointing mess, but damn if it didn't have the best lines. Cordelia: What is that thing? It's hideous and weird.Myrtle: Don't be a hater, dear. It's a theremin. Fiona: What the hell is going on in here? Madison: Miss Aryan Sisterhood came between Queenie and her food. Fiona: Your powers, you've been feeling them growing?Madison: Yeah, like crazy.Fiona: Have you ever wondered why?Madison: Uh, apart from my being awesome? 3 Link to comment
crazycatchick October 23, 2014 Share October 23, 2014 "Curfews are for poor people." 2 Link to comment
TudorQueen October 27, 2014 Share October 27, 2014 "Take your... Sasquatch with you." Where else would you hear that line but this show? 2 Link to comment
jnymph October 28, 2014 Share October 28, 2014 From Murder House: Constance to Moira: I also remember, every time I see that ghostly eye, that I was – and continue to be – a hell of a shot. 6 Link to comment
ajsnaves October 30, 2014 Share October 30, 2014 Edward Moredrake "Never cared for dwarves. Power mad, the lot of them!" 4 Link to comment
JakeyJokes November 9, 2014 Share November 9, 2014 Regina: I'm feeling really uncomfortable, so I'm going to go now. Desiree: What about my dingaling? Ma Petit: Miss Elsa, they are so beautiful! Elsa: Yes. Just like you. Now, fold for Mommy. Del: There is nothing worse than the hurt of loving someone that you can't have. *** Fiona Goode: You're missing the point. The point is in this whole wide wicked world the only thing you have to be afraid of is me. 1 Link to comment
Dirtybubble November 14, 2014 Share November 14, 2014 Gloria Mott: "I brought you snackies! I have RC Cola too!" It's official, I have fallen madly in love with Gloria Mott--well anything Frances Conroy has done =) 1 Link to comment
jhnlpz November 30, 2014 Share November 30, 2014 Gardener: You only need 18 inches for narcissus, and we're at 12 feet! Gloria: These are special bulbs from Holland! Please do not question me! Sometimes I just love the bizarre phrasing, which tends to appear throughout the various seasons. Chloe Sevigny in Asylum : "Paris, France!" :: Gabourey Sidibe in Freak Show : "The Barbizon Secretarial School in New York City." Link to comment
jnymph December 5, 2014 Share December 5, 2014 (edited) Dandy and Gloria discussing her being married to her 2nd cousin (Dandy's father): Dandy (with disdain): "We're like the Roosevelts." Gloria: "Don't say that name in this house." Edited December 5, 2014 by jnymph 6 Link to comment
EyeofHorus December 7, 2014 Share December 7, 2014 HA! At your age you might as well crazy glue a stick of butter to your @$$! Link to comment
JakeyJokes December 17, 2014 Share December 17, 2014 Myrtle Snow: Madison, you are the worst kind of Hollywood cliché. A bobblehead with crotchless panties. Madison Montgomery: Yeah? Well, you're a dried up Hot Pocket, but I don't judge. Fiona Goode: This coven doesn't need a new Supreme. It needs a new rug. Link to comment
The Solution January 2, 2015 Share January 2, 2015 Cop (to Fiona): Are you in charge here? Fiona Goode: I'm in charge everywhere. Link to comment
bosawks January 24, 2015 Share January 24, 2015 God, I still love Angela's "Liaaarrr"! Link to comment
JakeyJokes October 9, 2015 Share October 9, 2015 Countess: Your boy has a jawline for days. Countess: And you didn't want to go out tonight. Donovan: It's not the getting ready. It's the clean-up. Countess: We'll call housekeeping. Link to comment
Princess Sparkle October 9, 2015 Share October 9, 2015 Kathy Bates hissing "LIES! The magic box LIES!" is probably my all time favorite line from any season. A close runner up is "We get it bitch; you're clairvoyant!" I normally don't like Emma Roberts, but her line reading on that killed me. 2 Link to comment
DollEyes October 14, 2015 Author Share October 14, 2015 (edited) Iris, to Vendela & Agneta, who were held captive: "Stop your whining, you damn Swedish meatballs!" Will Drake, to The Countess, after turning down her offer of a drink: "I'm on a cleanse." The Countess: "Not anymore." From "Chutes & Ladders": Donovan, to The Countess: "Let's stay in. We can binge-watch House Of Cards." Liz Taylor, to the fashion reporters: "Skinny jeans are out, fringe is in & ponchos are forever. Make a note of it." Anna Wintour, pay attention. Tristan, to The Countess: "You know what I want? To hunt Kendall Jenner. Bitch blew me off at Coachella." A Kardashian/Jenner woman with good taste in men? That's harder to find than a unicorn. Miss Evers, about her laundry: "What a glorious stain." Iris, to Det. Lowe, after he busted her: "It's been years since a man spun me around like that. If I were a few years younger I might have even enjoyed the cuffs." Sally, after Scarlett ran away: "Kids are the best." Doomed Bearded Hipster, to Tristan & The Countess: "I think you're hot, but vag action is a total deal-breaker for me." And apparently, also a throat-slitter. Edited October 16, 2015 by DollEyes 1 Link to comment
DixonVixen2359 October 15, 2015 Share October 15, 2015 Dandy Mott: "Amuse me clown!" Jimmy Darling:"Don't call us freaks!" Evan Peters...swoon!! Dell: "There will be paying asses in these seats tonight" Bette Tattler: "In marvelous technicolor!" Tate:"You're the only light I've ever known.." Link to comment
Chaos Theory October 15, 2015 Share October 15, 2015 The Laudress: "I'll get the Ammonia. What a glorious stain" This quote is a perfect quote for AHS....what a glorious stain. 2 Link to comment
DollEyes October 25, 2015 Author Share October 25, 2015 Tristan, to James Patrick March, the serial-killing ghost: ""Your name is James Patrick March. You were born on October 30th, 1895. You're a Scorpio, which explains a lot. You're the greatest serial killer that's ever lived." March: "How do you know all this?" Tristan: "I Googled you." March: "That sounds obscene." Donovan, to Iris: "I had so much fiber in my diet, I shit my pants at school." Ramona, to her co-star, after killing him, for ordering her to get on her knees: "I don't get on my knees for no man." 2 Link to comment
TudorQueen October 29, 2015 Share October 29, 2015 Elizabeth Taylor's entire takedown of Donovan was brilliant and worthy of quotation, as was Iris's speech to Sally about how she didn't so much want to die as she simply didn't want to live any more. But one Elizabeth Taylor line actually made me giggle. "You don't need talent to be an ac-TOR. Just ask Laurence Harvey." Link to comment
Avaleigh November 1, 2015 Share November 1, 2015 John: Yeah there's a problem, that skank up in my room tried to kill me. Liz Taylor: Skank? You'll have to be more specific. 1 3 Link to comment
jnymph November 13, 2015 Share November 13, 2015 (edited) Miss Evers: "Those Nordic types have no respect for fresh linens, it's not in their culture. It's a well known fact." The things you learn from the laundress! Edited November 13, 2015 by jnymph Link to comment
GoneGirl November 23, 2015 Share November 23, 2015 John Patrick March to the Countess : "Who's the lucky fellow? I'd like to send him some steaks (stakes)!" Ms. Evers: "how I love the bouquet of rotting flesh" Liz to John: "looks like that breakdown is going well" John: Yeah there's a problem, that skank up in my room tried to kill me. Liz Taylor: Skank? You'll have to be more specific. LOVED THIS LINE. Liz is the best! 1 Link to comment
Mierin January 14, 2016 Share January 14, 2016 (edited) I lol'd at this exchange: Sally: You telling us to stop telling guests is like Colonel Sanders telling people to stop eating chicken.James: I'm not familiar with your military friend and his fondness for poultry. Edited January 14, 2016 by Mierin 1 2 Link to comment
imbedridden January 14, 2016 Share January 14, 2016 Violet Harmon: So why'd you keep it a secret? Tate Langdon: Hi, I'm Tate. I'm dead. Want to hook up? I don't think so. I swear, tate can be scary but he's just the best 1 Link to comment
FanOfDorks September 19, 2016 Share September 19, 2016 Tate Langdon: The world is a filthy place. It's a filthy goddamn horror show. There's just so much pain, y'know? ... Tate: What do you want? Constance: I wanted to see you... are you feeling any better? [Tate gives no response] Constance: Are the visits with the good doctor helping you? Tate: Yeah. We're really getting to the root of my problem. Turns out, I hate my mother. ... Dr. Arthur Arden: Hello, Mr. Walker. I'm Dr. Arthur Arden. I run this institution. Kit Walker: I thought Sister Jude ran this place. Dr. Arthur Arden: So does she. ... Hypodermic Sally: Oh, come on. You telling people to stop killing is like Colonel Sanders telling us to stop eating chicken. James March: I'm not familiar with your military friend and his fondness for poultry, but my killing days are over. .... James March: I'm dead dear, not stupid. Link to comment
DollEyes September 24, 2016 Author Share September 24, 2016 From Season Six, episode One: RealLee, about RealShelby: "My brother married one jumpy bitch." Matt: "The cops are freaking useless. I was 100 miles away and I knew I'd get there before they would." 1 Link to comment
FanOfDorks October 20, 2016 Share October 20, 2016 His facial expression when asked "You're not alive, are you?" is just precious and hilarious. like in his head he is screaming. "OH NO I JUST DRESS THIS WAY FOR SHITS AND GIGGLES." "No shit Sherlock, what gave it away?" "No and if you dont get out of my house neither will you be, not that I care just get out before you die, This is MY HOUSE now feck right off," Link to comment
DollEyes September 6, 2017 Author Share September 6, 2017 Kai: "There's nothing more dangerous in this world than a humiliated man." 3 Link to comment
Chaos Theory September 6, 2017 Share September 6, 2017 Winter: "What's wrong with CNN for not giving us a trigger warning before announcing the results." 2 Link to comment
DollEyes September 20, 2017 Author Share September 20, 2017 From "Neighbors From Hell": Reporter Beverly Hope, about Ally: "She's the lesbian George Zimmerman." Link to comment
BlancheDevoreaux September 21, 2017 Share September 21, 2017 Gloria in Freak Show: "Excuse me, Clown. Do you do private parties?" John Wayne Gacy in Hotel: "I mean, just because you've got 30 bodies in your crawl space don't mean you can't have a really terrific rec room and be a respectable businessman." Constance from Murder House: "Oh they're not for you. At your age? You might as well just krazy glue a stick of butter to your ass." 2 Link to comment
Chaos Theory September 13, 2018 Share September 13, 2018 (edited) My two favorite lines from the pilot of Apocalypse are: They made you think the system was a rock. It was a water balloon. There are lines that can never be crossed. Not eating people is of the first rank. Edited September 14, 2018 by Chaos Theory 2 Link to comment
JakeyJokes September 27, 2018 Share September 27, 2018 Evie: I know you have the mental capacity of a three-year-old, but it's ridiculous that you find 52 to be an ancient. Coco: You were 52 when Elvis took his last shit! *** The Fist: I ran a nutritional blog before the war. It was really taking off, I think. *** Venable: You did that? Gallant: Without a blowdryer. I amaze myself sometimes. 2 Link to comment
JakeyJokes October 4, 2018 Share October 4, 2018 Myrtle: This place makes Bourbon Street smell like Chanel No. 5. Queenie: Even in hell, you're still a ho. Mead: I didn't kill my first husband. I killed my first three. 6 Link to comment
JakeyJokes October 14, 2018 Share October 14, 2018 John Henry: Stand down, bitch. *** Fiona: We want you witch hunters to stop killing witches. But more importantly, Marie wants a Diet Sprite and a private jet. 1 Link to comment
BookWoman56 October 14, 2018 Share October 14, 2018 On 10/4/2018 at 12:23 AM, JakeyJokes said: Mead: I didn't kill my first husband. I killed my first three. I love the entire exchange there. Mead: I didn't kill my first husband. I killed my first three. Michael: That's evil. Mead: Hell, yeah. I'm a devil mama! I'm not sure anyone except Kathy Bates could have pulled off that line as well as she did. 1 Link to comment
sashayshante October 14, 2018 Share October 14, 2018 Michael: I guess you haven't noticed the state of the world Myrtle: Unlike that dinner jacket, at least the world can be saved. And of course... I'm the FUCKING Supreme. 2 Link to comment
1TrackMind October 18, 2018 Share October 18, 2018 This latest episode was FULL of one liners. I think Ben won it for me with the 'I have to go stand at the window and cry while I masturbate', followed by Behold calling him the Tearjerker. Honestly Behold and Madison have a great snarky back and forth. 'The counsel obviously sent me because they think I am expendable' 'and I had to put on khakis it's been a bad day for all of us.' 3 Link to comment
Chaos Theory October 18, 2018 Share October 18, 2018 (edited) Constance “I was put on this earth to raise the monsters.” Constance “up until that point I thought I was raising a garden variety serial killer. Even a gifted one.” Edited October 19, 2018 by Chaos Theory 2 Link to comment
Princess Sparkle November 15, 2018 Share November 15, 2018 "I don't respond to flattery" "Nor do you recognize sarcasm" 3 Link to comment
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