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S01.E13: The Master

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This show would be a lot more enjoyable if they dropped the faux emotional Goodweather family bullshit drama and went full on camp.

I want Nora to return next season wearing black thigh high stiletto boots and black cape, carrying a kitana sword. Her first kill would be Kelly. After which, she turns to Eph, says "That's how it's done asshole", then walks off, arm-in-arm with Fet.

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I loved the rest of the season.  In the episode however, between the obvious filler content, and just absurd inaction from the characters....I felt like I was watching an early 1980s horror film.

Edited by jclause
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OK, that's a season, then. I'm finally ready to watch tomorrow night. Here are some thoughts I'm left with after this finale.


Eph is the one giving sword fighting lessons? Really? And he starts with "Show it to them first." Don't show it to them while, say, holding the blade toward them, so you can counterattack with it and burn any parts that come near you. Just sort of stand there with it on your shoulder like you're playing baseball. Yeah, that'll win the fight. Abraham should have slapped him aside and taken over right then and there, but apparently somebody from the network went over there right before the episode started and reminded everybody that Eph is the big heroic star of the show.


Eichorst seems awfully comfortable walking around in sunlit offices during the day. It's becoming kind of a Spike thing.


Are we sure wood can't kill vampires? Maybe we should try, by poking one of them in the heart with Fitzwilliam's "acting." Holy crap, did that goodbye speech go on forever.


Seriously...  Eph is the one giving sword fighting lessons? Shit, I'd even rather learn from Twiggy. The girl weights exactly twenty seven pounds, three of which is blonde hair extensions, yet she managed to actually kick some ass in hand to hand combat. That's skill. Eph is is just some big douchebag who tends to win fights because he can hit harder than douchebags who aren't big. What the hell is Zack supposed learn from that? "Keep sucking all the life out of your scenes, boy, and maybe the actor they replace you with will be physically larger?"


I'm still waiting for a flashback in which we find out that Abraham once "took the white, but not the worm." Maybe he did it deliberately. Maybe BatKrusty or Eichorst did it, because they seem to love gratuitously torturing protagonists for as long as possible. Or maybe he just happens to have accidentally gotten sprayed in the mouth during a fight with vampire blood. Any of these make more sense than believing him to be over ninety years old and still decapitating monsters left and right. Even without a souped-up metabolism, I could still see him being that badass into his seventies, but eventually it gets pretty hard to swallow.


Gus is a dick. He's not some street tough with a heart of gold. He's a thug who happens to have had a tiny number of people he actually gave a shit about. However, I do love his willingness to embrace both sides of the "fight or flight" response. You see a lot of action heroes running to a fight, but not many who will just see something scary and run like hell away from it.


And, most of all... Eph is the lead sword trainer? As in "This is how you kill vampires with a sword?" There isn't anybody else there who should maybe be teaching him?

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