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Holiday and Seasonal Commercials


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If a turkey falls into a cranberry bog, will it float?

 

Apparently not.  :)

Don't know, but I'll be that moronic Ocean Spray Cranberry guy will try to find out.

It is Ocean Spray that has those idiots standing out in a cranberry bog right?

 

They're having Thanksgiving dinner in that bog.

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Apparently not.  :)

 

They're having Thanksgiving dinner in that bog.

 

That turkey popped back to the surface at the end of the commercial.  I'm looking for a definitive answer before I go all mythbusters on a turkey.  If only I could find a cranberry bog;)

 

It will be some bizarre version of WKRP.  'As God as my witness, I thought turkeys could swim."

Edited by ParadoxLost
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Does anyone else raise/market cranberries?  I can't think of any other brand...

I don't know if it's available nationwide, but where I live, the Northland display is as big as the Ocean Spray display. Northland has all the same varieties (cran-grape, cran-pom, etc.) as Ocean Spray, and the prices are exactly the same.

I saw cranberry flavored Sprite at the grocery store today.  Blew my mind.

I haven't seen that, but I'm absolutely obsessedd with Diet Cranberry Sierra Mist, which is available for only a few weeks this time of year. I can never find it in sufficient quantities, so as soon as it hits the shelves, I begin buying it up. The other day I bought 6 12-packs, and I am not done. 

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They make the holidays look so picture perfect and happy.and i wish they wouldn't rub in your face. So many people in this country cannot afford the food spread all the beautiful gifts, don't live in a perfectly decorated colonial house in the suburbs and relatives that look like models.

They could scale it back and show you can be as happy in an apartment, say, and with what you can afford. .Or spending the day serving a meal to the needy or going to dinner with your friends and having a small gift exchange. Stop being so greedy, quit setting the bar so high and people up for disappointment and depression, just quit.

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You don't have to get them to get them GAP.  Oh, good grief.  But that little boy is really good lip-synching to Johnnie Ray.  And it's always good to hear Johnny Cash again.

 

Hmmm...maybe the ads have something to do with guys named Johnny.  Can a Carson impersonator be far behind?  Depp?

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The Kohls ad infuriates me because of the sullen tween gets his way trope.  If the deer was really magic is would back kick the little shit in the balls for his rudeness to his dad, bite the kid's phone pad in half and then pellet the kid with turds as he flies away. 

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Ha, I knew the holidays were on the way when I saw my first Seymour Butts jewelry commercial.

 

My favorite holiday commercials have always been the ones with food in them.  I don't care if they are for products that I would not normally buy or recipes I would never make (such as marshmallow-topped casseroles), they all look good in the commercials.  Butterball turkeys, McCormick spices, Pillsbury crescent rolls, etc.  If the people or the music in them are annoying, I just concentrate on how good the food looks.  Bring 'em on! 

 

I always like the fake fight over the last crescent roll.  Thankfully mom always has another tin of them around.  Thanksgiving will descend to mortal combat over the crescent rolls when she is no longer around, I can feel it.

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They make the holidays look so picture perfect and happy.and i wish they wouldn't rub in your face. So many people in this country cannot afford the food spread all the beautiful gifts, don't live in a perfectly decorated colonial house in the suburbs and relatives that look like models.

They could scale it back and show you can be as happy in an apartment, say, and with what you can afford. .Or spending the day serving a meal to the needy or going to dinner with your friends and having a small gift exchange. Stop being so greedy, quit setting the bar so high and people up for disappointment and depression, just quit.

the holidays are one of the most depressing times of the year for so many people, and I think a lot of that has to do with the expectations commercials set.  

 

I think even people with big homes and lots of food get depressed because there is this expectation that you're supposed to be bursting with joy around this time, and so many people look happy that if you aren't you just feel like a failure.  Its like the whole Facebook thing, where you just feel like everyone has this amazing life except you if you read facebook, but at least you can turn off the computer.  I heard Christmas carols today at the supermarket, and I thought to myself "I can't wait until the holidays are over, I really just can't wait until they are done and life goes back to normal"

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I always like the fake fight over the last crescent roll.  Thankfully mom always has another tin of them around.  Thanksgiving will descend to mortal combat over the crescent rolls when she is no longer around, I can feel it.

 

I think it will be okay, provided that the Doughboy is still around to push the tin into someone's line of view.  And I'm assuming the Doughboy is immortal.

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Re: the Target Marshmallow World commercial...no one else sees a bit of a White Rabbit/Alice in Wonderland thing?

 

One marshmallow makes you larger, and one makes you hallucinate an entire fantasy world...

I believe the commercial is called Alice in Marshmallow Wonderland, so you got the right message.

It is a cute commercial, but the song definitely wears on me.

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Re: the Target Marshmallow World commercial...no one else sees a bit of a White Rabbit/Alice in Wonderland thing?

 

One marshmallow makes you larger, and one makes you hallucinate an entire fantasy world...

I got it!

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I never used to mind the Marshmallow World song - didn't care either way - now I hate it. 

 

There's an ad that the narrator is really getting on my nerves, think it might be for a credit card, don't care enough to pay attention. The couple is having the ugly sweater party of the year. This didn't make much sense to me, Then I changed it to the couple is having THE ugly sweater party of the year and it made sense. I wish the narrator would say it like that.

 

I also will be glad when the holidays are over, ever since I was married to a drunk, I've hated Christmas. He's been dead for 18 years, but it's a gift he keeps on giving.

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I also will be glad when the holidays are over...

 

 

Yeah but then we immediately go into the marathon of tax, bad credit and quick loans ads.  Mixed in with all the self-loathing exploitation to all the presumed pigs who had no self control over the holidays and now have body image issues to Total Gym and Slimfast. 

 

Face it.  Commercial Hate is a year long season!

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Yeah but then we immediately go into the marathon of tax, bad credit and quick loans ads.  Mixed in with all the self-loathing exploitation to all the presumed pigs who had no self control over the holidays and now have body image issues to Total Gym and Slimfast. 

 

Face it.  Commercial Hate is a year long season!

January is the very worst month at my gym....the very worst.  It only lets up around March/April when people finally give up.

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I am officially tired of the marshmallow song.  And it's only mid-November.  Sigh.

 

There's still a full week until Thanksgiving -- THANKSGIVING!! -- and the Marshmallow World song about sends me into fits of sub-psychotic rage.

 

What makes me ill about this holiday season isn't the portrayal of Suburban Solstice Bliss (as mentioned upthread) -- it's that damned near every store/company, be it Department, Big Box, Furniture, Jewelry, Automobile, or [insert store type of your choice here] has jumped on the fucking Seven Days Of Black Friday bullshit in the week running up to Turkey Day.  As much of a PITA as Black Friday can be (whether you're working or shopping), it's always meant something special to me.  

 

Black Friday's always been almost symbolic in a lot of ways.  It was the Official Start of the Holiday Season that had an understanding that in the month to come, you could look forward to things like:

 

-- listening to and singing Christmas carols and all of the songs that go along with the holidays, sung by the likes of Bing, Nat, Andy Williams, Gene Autry, Irving Berlin, The Chipmunks, The Carpenters, Perry Como, Jose Feliciano, Burl Ives, Chuck Berry, et al.

-- The Charlie Brown Christmas Special 

-- Decorating a tree (and the house)

-- Enjoying cold weather

-- The food....THE FOOD!!!  Whether it's at work, at home, to and from friends and/or family 

-- Christmas parties

-- Giving gifts to friends, family, and Toys for Tots.

-- Ice Skating

-- Hot cocoa with Frangelico

-- Christmas Vacation, The Ref, A Christmas Story, Trading Places, and the other many Christmas movies.

-- The smell of Spruce Pine, fresh baked pies, and a big-ass bird cooking in the oven.

-- The candy (eville though it may be) 

 

**From reading this, you'd think I was rollin' in the holy, but in actuality, I was raised in the Judaic faith and am now a non-theist.  I just really dig the Christmas season.

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Black Friday's always been almost symbolic in a lot of ways.  It was the Official Start of the Holiday Season that had an understanding that in the month to come, you could look forward to things like:

 

-- listening to and singing Christmas carols and all of the songs that go along with the holidays, sung by the likes of Bing, Nat, Andy Williams, Gene Autry, Irving Berlin, The Chipmunks, The Carpenters, Perry Como, Jose Feliciano, Burl Ives, Chuck Berry, et al.

-- The Charlie Brown Christmas Special

-- Decorating a tree (and the house)

-- Enjoying cold weather

-- The food....THE FOOD!!!  Whether it's at work, at home, to and from friends and/or family

-- Christmas parties

-- Giving gifts to friends, family, and Toys for Tots.

-- Ice Skating

-- Hot cocoa with Frangelico

-- Christmas Vacation, The Ref, A Christmas Story, Trading Places, and the other many Christmas movies.

-- The smell of Spruce Pine, fresh baked pies, and a big-ass bird cooking in the oven.

-- The candy (eville though it may be)

 

Ah, what a perfect description.  Thanks!

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Honda's holiday commercials (and the Honda in my garage) has pushed me into some kind of mid-life crisis where I need a sports cars.

 

They are targeting my demo.  But I didn't realize Gem was that nostalgic a cartoon to hawk cars all these years later. 

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I actually enjoyed the Stovetop commercial for its humor, but we'll see if it holds up on repeat viewings. Only a few days to go for it, maybe the joke won't wear off.

 

I am mad at Target for ruining Marshmallow World for me. Previous to this, my default version of this was an awesome one performed by Frank Sinatra and Dean Martin on Dean's old TV show.

 

Now I can't get this Target version out of my head.

Edited by peggy06
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OMG! I was just going to post how much I hate that commercial! They show it constantly around here.

I'm just looking at the screen shot and I'm scared.  All three of them look like they are about to try to bust into a too bright, too sassy song and dance routine.  Something mommy sassy about finding all the right gifts at Big Lots.

 

ETA: I decided to give it a try, and got exactly 1 second in.  I guess it is a sassy song and dance routine!  I'm some kind of commercial clairvoyant.

Edited by RealityGal
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What I find both derisive and loathsome is the verbal dancing Big Lots, Sears, Wal-mart, Target and Best Buy (that I have seen) try to word the hours open on Thanksgiving.  Gawd I just want to knock Anthony Anderson and Melissa joan Hart's heads together as they prate about being open Thanksgiving MORNING.  I get so rage-y every time I see this idiocy that tries to sell how Thanksgiving is a holiday to celebrate and then declares all these expanded hours with workers forced to man these stores or face losing their job.  And if I hear one more Fox news ass tell me it is the same as a doctor or nurse.  Because ringing up a flat screen with an extra ten percent is exactly like caring for the sick.

 

Best Buy is the worst though as they try to sell being open as a way they are taking care of their employees.  Of course Wal-mart tries to be subtle by airing random Wal'mart loves the people it enslaves, I mean work for China, I mean work the Waltons.

Yet as soon as the Fox newsies get done telling us how those workers should be lucky to have a job, they'll start in with their diatribes about the so-called war on Christmas.  Now Thanksgiving has it is poor thighs spread for the shoppers who can't wait twelve hours, how soon do you think Christmas' merchant cherry will remain intact? 

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What I find both derisive and loathsome is the verbal dancing Big Lots, Sears, Wal-mart, Target and Best Buy (that I have seen) try to word the hours open on Thanksgiving.  Gawd I just want to knock Anthony Anderson and Melissa joan Hart's heads together as they prate about being open Thanksgiving MORNING.  I get so rage-y every time I see this idiocy that tries to sell how Thanksgiving is a holiday to celebrate and then declares all these expanded hours with workers forced to man these stores or face losing their job.  And if I hear one more Fox news ass tell me it is the same as a doctor or nurse.  Because ringing up a flat screen with an extra ten percent is exactly like caring for the sick.

 

Best Buy is the worst though as they try to sell being open as a way they are taking care of their employees.  Of course Wal-mart tries to be subtle by airing random Wal'mart loves the people it enslaves, I mean work for China, I mean work the Waltons.

Yet as soon as the Fox newsies get done telling us how those workers should be lucky to have a job, they'll start in with their diatribes about the so-called war on Christmas.  Now Thanksgiving has it is poor thighs spread for the shoppers who can't wait twelve hours, how soon do you think Christmas' merchant cherry will remain intact? 

I don't watch Fox News, but is that really the line they are selling?  That somehow being a doctor in an Emergency Room is the same as being the guy who has to tell me where I can find the lotion?  I maintain that the entire "open on Thanksgiving" thing was created by Wal-Mart and is now a race to the bottom.  I find it hard to believe that people's credit cards were burning such a monumental hole in their pocket that they couldn't wait until Friday morning.  The entire black Friday thing is now based around doorbusters, but the doorbuster folk are very committed.  You don't need to lure them in by opening up on Thursday.  They are going to be sleeping in line if you open on Thursday, or if you open on Friday.  The last place I want to be, after stuffing myself silly with turkey is in a Wal-Mart with someone's unwashed armpit in my face.  I also do not want to be in a big box store on Friday with someones washed armpit in my face.  I do not like crowds.  I just can't see how any increased profits are due to being open on Thanksgiving that you wouldn't get if you just opened on Friday.

 

And I say this as someone who happily worked the front desk of a hotel on holidays.  But you can't just leave a hotel unattended, and the hotel was always dead so it was a pretty breezy way to make time and a half.  I could do my eight hour breezy shift and head home.  But retail on the holidays is a mess, and they are telling these people they have to work 12 hour shifts when it really doesn't seem necessary.

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