Married At First Sight: The First Year

[Michichick]

None of the suggested alternatives to "natives" is a correct synonym in that context.

Why not?

[Elijah Mundo]

Here, in full, is MAFS alumna Cortney (sic) Hendrix's five star Amazon "review" of Wifey 101:

This is the exact text messages I sent to Jamie after I finished reading her book.
6:11am 6/9/16: "Just saw this text- I jut read ur entire book. Absolutely amazing and beautiful. I have so much more to say but I need to sleep a few hours. Thank you for sharing it with me "

10:44am 6/9/2016: "I cried several times reading your book- and I smiled and laughed out loud too!! God has had a very special plan for you my darling- and He has been protecting u so u could get to where u r now and eventually where u r suppose to be in the future. You have been a survivor and a beautiful warrior your entire life- & He is bringing so much healing to so many others through your life from when u were still in your mothers womb, He knew u were something special. Strong ppl don't wake up strong- it's built bc u take hit after hit & stand up again. The courage and strength that radiates from ur story gives me chills. I think it's Hope and it's God- and I'm so proud of you. You are an amazing human being and please don't ever forget that. You have a forever friend in me and I feel so much closer to you after reading your book. The only think was missing from your book was a mic drop picture as the last page :)

[ClareWalks]

Cortney's review is nearly as unreadable as the book excerpts!

[Tara Ariano]

1 hour ago, LoneHaranguer said:

None of the suggested alternatives to "natives" is a correct synonym in that context.

 

1 hour ago, Michichick said:

Why not?

I wondered that as well. Is it because if you just say "the locals," you can't necessarily tell she means that they're brown?

[Kiss my mutt]

Please dear lawd, nobody buy this!  

[Michichick]

17 minutes ago, Tara Ariano said:

 

I wondered that as well. Is it because if you just say "the locals," you can't necessarily tell she means that they're brown?

That's what I assumed, but I am hoping to be wrong.

[Jesse]

Quote

But if you're going to talk about the kitchen in a Nancy Meyers movie, you are required to make it It's Complicated. REMODELING THE KITCHEN IS WHAT THAT ENTIRE FILM WAS ABOUT.

What are the odds that the person who actually wrote the book used It's Complicated, but Jamie didn't know the movie, so they changed it? 

[Evil Queen]

1 hour ago, ClareWalks said:

Cortney's review is nearly as unreadable as the book excerpts!

I literally can't stand when people have to be that way. I don't care if its a damn text how hard is 3 flipping letters!!!! Or even a few more!! 

1 hour ago, Kiss my mutt said:

Please dear lawd, nobody buy this!  

I agree!!! Sadly there will suckers that will because they think she is great or something. UGH

[IndyChick]

~~~~~~~~~~~~~sigh~~~~~~~~~~~~

[maxineofarc]

Wifey.

WIFEY.

[Kiss my mutt]

She should have called it Whiney instead. 

[Kiss my mutt]

Nice write-up, Tara!  Wow, that chick is messed up.  

[Tara Ariano]

1 hour ago, Kiss my mutt said:

Nice write-up, Tara!  Wow, that chick is messed up.  

Thanks -- and you wouldn't believe how much I left out. Lots and lots of details about her childhood and her mom.

[Kiss my mutt]

10 minutes ago, Tara Ariano said:

Thanks -- and you wouldn't believe how much I left out. Lots and lots of details about her childhood and her mom.

I'm loathe to read it, yet intrigued!  I just don't want her to make money off this book so I won't buy it. Maybe on the secondary market.

You should totally do a part 2!!

[Tara Ariano]

47 minutes ago, Kiss my mutt said:

I'm loathe to read it, yet intrigued!  I just don't want her to make money off this book so I won't buy it. Maybe on the secondary market.

You should totally do a part 2!!

It's more that it's stuff that was too grim to make fun of.

[Kiss my mutt]

Oh yikes!  Okay. 

[crazychicken]

39 minutes ago, Kiss my mutt said:

I'm loathe to read it, yet intrigued!  I just don't want her to make money off this book so I won't buy it. Maybe on the secondary market.

You should totally do a part 2!!

I read it on Scribd under a free 14 day trail

 

3 minutes ago, Tara Ariano said:

It's more that it's stuff that was too grim to make fun of.

There are parts of the book that I wouldn't  make fun of either, though I thought the talking like a teenager would have made a cameo, there was also a few TMI moments like they did not have sex for 8 weeks that they had lots of dry humping and blowjobs. I actually shouted Jamie the word is PENIS, as a nurse ween and pee pee should not be in your vocabulary. My husband was most impressed by my intellectual reading material that meant I was ignoring him.

 

It was funny that she did not name the experts, the show or the ex throughout the book but then listed some of them in the acknowledgments.

[Kiss my mutt]

So, she gave Doug bjs but no sex? Um, I'd much rather just have sex if it's either or. Gawd, I can't believe I said that. Maybe I'll read it on sribe'd. 

[crazychicken]

Yep she had a standard 8 week sex rule for anybody she dated to prove they weren't just after her 'goodies'. Doug was not just a horny man he was a horny man that loved her as he waited. If you do read it I suggest you also stock up on brain bleach.

 

The first few chapters on her childhood I can't mock but as soon as she found reality 'fame' I regret continuing reading just due to her writing style. The grammar is poor, the editing crap and she talks like a teenager. There are not too many things we do not already know from the show, things went south around their first anniversary, they nearly got divorced, she got off to a poor start with the IL's.

 

The feeling I picked up from her talking about her relationship with Bonnie, is one where she throws Bonnie under the bus, Bonnie grew up middle class so can not understand her relationship with her mother and does not try too. From the show I always got the feeling that Bonnie was supportive as much as could be. The way she describes conversations like bringing chocolate for Doug Snr at the first meeting which I thought they joked about, Jamie describes as tough and harsh. The other conversation that I got a totally different feel from was at the vow renewal when Bonnie made the comment about only having one mom, which I took as yes your mom made mistakes but at some point you need to let it go and accept that parents aren't perfect but she is here now trying so maybe give her a chance, Jamie describes that she was so angry as Bonnie would never understand as went to Doug about it. He dismissed it as her being too sensitive.

[Kiss my mutt]

Thanks, @Crazy Chicken, for sharing your thoughts and take always from the book!  What would you rate it on Amazon?

[crazychicken]

Probably a 3 since 2 seems really harsh. Looking at the reviews they are good so I might just be expecting too much. It left me feeling that it was lacking a lot especially with Jamie hyping it up as explaining a lot of her decisions and behavior. For me it left me feeling that she has not really progressed very far. She talks about having to be open in marriage but then writes about the abuse and abortions and how she will have to tell Doug before the book is released yet at the time of finishing the book they were is a fantastic place and trying for a baby. She also calls Doug her best friend but then says right through her marriage she called Lonnie 3 -4 times a week as he understood her and made her feel safe, that she had a connection with him that she did not have with Doug. She also feels like she betrayed Lonnie by jumping into marriage so felt she needed to keep the connection open, he does not seem to return the sentiment, he gave her the $5 000 for her to move to New York, she traveled to see him and then broke up with him as she felt they did not spend enough time together and he accepted that without protest. Funnily she says she moved to New York as she couldn't just get married and start popping out babies and he understood that, yet she says they broke up because he did not want more kids.  Oh and she says she is not a jealous person so does not mind that Doug is best friends with the girl he lost his virginity too, but is jealous of Lonnie's girlfriend and feels it should have been her standing beside him after a concert she attended. Lonnie became an issue not long after they returned from their honeymoon so no wonder Doug was so over it after listening to her for over 12 months. Oh and the gem that Jamie rang into Lonnie and the grocery store not long after the experiment and knew she still had feelings as she had butterflies seeing him again, so to resolve the issue she no longer saw him physically just continued talking to him on the phone nearly daily *facepalm*

 

Overall I get the normal Jamie whine 'I had a crap childhood, I can't help how I behave so you just have to accept it' and that she still has feelings for Lonnie and Doug will always be second best.

[Kiss my mutt]

Thanks for the impromptu review. I'm just SMH at everything!

[tinypeanut]

Crazychicken,

Wow just wow.  Why would anyone put up with her behavior?  I do not believe for one minute those two have worked through their issues and are happily married.  They continue to live their lives through social media to create the perfect marriage/image and it is all an illusion.  Jamie is still addicted to the attention she receives from her "fans".

Edited June 16, 2016 by tinypeanut

[qtpye]

On 6/15/2016 at 11:20 PM, crazychicken said:

She also feels like she betrayed Lonnie by jumping into marriage so felt she needed to keep the connection open, he does not seem to return the sentiment, he gave her the $5 000 for her to move to New York, she traveled to see him and then broke up with him as she felt they did not spend enough time together and he accepted that without protest. Funnily she says she moved to New York as she couldn't just get married and start popping out babies and he understood that, yet she says they broke up because he did not want more kids.  Oh and she says she is not a jealous person so does not mind that Doug is best friends with the girl he lost his virginity too, but is jealous of Lonnie's girlfriend and feels it should have been her standing beside him after a concert she attended. Lonnie became an issue not long after they returned from their honeymoon so no wonder Doug was so over it after listening to her for over 12 months. Oh and the gem that Jamie rang into Lonnie and the grocery store not long after the experiment and knew she still had feelings as she had butterflies seeing him again, so to resolve the issue she no longer saw him physically just continued talking to him on the phone nearly daily *facepalm*

 

Good Lord...she obviously still has feelings for her ex.  I have seen some videos of him and he seems like a really nice guy.  Even though he is older... he and Jamie look about the same age, so it does not really feel mismatched.

However, he really needs to tell Jamie to stop contacting him.  She is at least slightly obsessed with him.  I wonder what she will do if he ever marries someone else?

I do not think Doug is second best.  I think Doug does not rank that high with her.  He is an ends to a means.  She is branding herself a reality show star and success story.  I am sure Doug realizes this and is just around for the ride and perks.  It's an easy way for a fairly non ambitious guy to make good money.

Edited June 17, 2016 by qtpye

[Tara Ariano]

5 hours ago, qtpye said:

However, he really needs to tell Jamie to stop contacting him.  She is at least slightly obsessed with him.

If not him, his GIRLFRIEND could tell her to knock it off.

[Elijah Mundo]

So per Jamie's Twitter, she and Doug are off on a book tour of sorts (or at least a few book signings here and there). I can't find a schedule or itinerary anywhere, which might be for the best, because if she came within easy driving distance I don't think I'd be able to NOT go and meet her, meaning I'd actually have to buy her book (which I imagine I'll have to do anyway, especially in light of Cortney's very convincing five star review!)

[Upstater]

Wow! So hadn't been here in a long time and just catching up on comments and sure seems like the book might be lies like the show was, or Jamie's completely psycho obsessed.  I might just have to read it!  One of my friends is friends with Lonnie's gf and guess she was pretty pissed about what Jamie said on the show about Lonnie.  I'd be so pissed too!!!!  I sorta know Lonnie but I don't know her. I did meet her once and she seemed really nice and she's super pretty. Anyway, heard it's all lies and Lonnie was not still involved with Jamie and had this gf for like 3 years, way longer than I even thought. Makes me wonder if Jamie was trying to break them up?  I also heard his gf had words with Jamie about it, omg I'd love to know the details of that one!!!  I don't know how true it is, but heard they're getting married!  I so hope that's true and would love to see Jamie's reaction!  They should make a show out of that lol.

[crazychicken]

I vote psycho obsessed, from what she says he does not seem to share the same level of interest in her and never did. From what I have seen and read it seemed like they were very casual, FGS he wrote her wedding song if he had any feelings at all for the girl he could have stopped the wedding, even now 2 years later I get the vibe if he called and told her he loved her she would drop Doug like a hot potato. If letting her go to do the Bachelor, Bachelor Pad, move to New York, marry a stranger all without protest is a good relationship then I have been delusional for a long time. Knowing that Doug has put up with the 'my ex' crap for 2 years and still hung around makes me lose what little respect I had left for him.

 

Upstater If you find out any gossip feel free to share, Lonnie and his GF are nicer than me I would have called Jamie crazy when she first started her 'my ex' crap.

[qtpye]

Lonnie and his girlfriend are definitely nicer then me as well.  I would have had a restraining order out at this point.  I hope Jamie does not think she is getting an invite to the wedding since she is Lonnie's "best friend".

[Evil Queen]

4 hours ago, qtpye said:

Lonnie and his girlfriend are definitely nicer then me as well.  I would have had a restraining order out at this point.  I hope Jamie does not think she is getting an invite to the wedding since she is Lonnie's "best friend".

I don't see how they have put up with her fake ass crap. With all her "my ex" BS on tv and having him help write her wedding song, this book stuff and so on. The girl is seriously in need of MAJOR mental help. I am surprised there was no restraining order on her. She is totally the kind of ex girlfriend that would just show up at the door at all hours with her drama and then trying to make a move even though the new girlfriend might be right there. As was said if he cared so much as she claims over and over than why would he have let her go on these reality shows or move away? Girl is so in her own world she has no damn clue it was because he was over her shit and probably wasn't serious about her to begin with. As for Doug, I'd be out the damn door if I was him. Screw the money from this show. Its about her and nothing more when it comes to Jamie. He needs to run and find someone that isn't all about themself 24/7. 

[Upstater]

On 6/21/2016 at 2:22 PM, Evil Queen said:

I don't see how they have put up with her fake ass crap. With all her "my ex" BS on tv and having him help write her wedding song, this book stuff and so on. The girl is seriously in need of MAJOR mental help. I am surprised there was no restraining order on her. She is totally the kind of ex girlfriend that would just show up at the door at all hours with her drama and then trying to make a move even though the new girlfriend might be right there. As was said if he cared so much as she claims over and over than why would he have let her go on these reality shows or move away? Girl is so in her own world she has no damn clue it was because he was over her shit and probably wasn't serious about her to begin with. As for Doug, I'd be out the damn door if I was him. Screw the money from this show. Its about her and nothing more when it comes to Jamie. He needs to run and find someone that isn't all about themself 24/7. 

Agreed! Anyone that cared that much would never let their significant other go on hookup reality shows and be okay with it! 

[qtpye]

I remember a poster here said they knew Jamie and found her to be very fake.  I know you should always take these things with a grain of salt, because anyone can post anything on the internet, but they said that Jamie went on the bachelor specifically to make her boyfriend jealous.

If that is true...it sure backfired on her.

[Kiss my mutt]

Well, at least she didn't make this an audiobook. 

[Evil Queen]

1 hour ago, Kiss my mutt said:

Well, at least she didn't make this an audiobook. 

HUSH don't give her ideas!

[okerry]

So, it still leaves the same burning question: How did this gigantic trainwreck of a woman pass all the "rigid psychological tests" by the Experts and get accepted to go on Season One of MAFS?? 

Two abortions? Oh, girl . . . I am 100% pro-choice but you are a nurse for god's sakes . . . maybe she thought the guy(s) would marry her if she was pregnant. This just makes me very sad.

If Jamie's sad, tragic, outrageous book doesn't prove that there's nothing to the Experts and they're just looking for TV drama, I don't know what would.

[Jellybeans]

Where did the two abortions thing come from?

[Kiss my mutt]

She talked about it in her book 

[Jellybeans]

3 hours ago, Kiss my mutt said:

She talked about it in her book 

OMG. Two of them, and birth control is readily available. Disgusting.

[Vinyasa]

Quote

She also feels like she betrayed Lonnie by jumping into marriage so felt she needed to keep the connection open, he does not seem to return the sentiment, he gave her the $5 000 for her to move to New York, she traveled to see him and then broke up with him as she felt they did not spend enough time together and he accepted that without protest. Funnily she says she moved to New York as she couldn't just get married and start popping out babies and he understood that, yet she says they broke up because he did not want more kids.  Oh and she says she is not a jealous person so does not mind that Doug is best friends with the girl he lost his virginity too, but is jealous of Lonnie's girlfriend and feels it should have been her standing beside him after a concert she attended. Lonnie became an issue not long after they returned from their honeymoon so no wonder Doug was so over it after listening to her for over 12 months. Oh and the gem that Jamie rang into Lonnie and the grocery store not long after the experiment and knew she still had feelings as she had butterflies seeing him again, so to resolve the issue she no longer saw him physically just continued talking to him on the phone nearly daily *facepalm*

And now we have the next season for General Hospital..........

[Evil Queen]

Wasn't sure where to put this but just saw an ad for this and looks like the title has finally changed on their show to Married Life. Starts Nov 8.

[cardigirl]

Judging by the space on my DVR schedule for this show, it will only be half hour episodes.  Weren't they one-hour episodes last season?

[Evil Queen]

With the First Years they were. I noticed they were half hour ones too. I think I will be skipping them too after seeing a few ads for it. 

[stuckin60s]

just saw it, waste of time.  also looked like Courtney was tipsy.